₦airaland Forum

Chuvin22:
Who said sex was made for marriage?


Wow. 2011 post

As in! I created this thread 8 years ago and it's hitting front page now. Wow!

kingadex:
Why won't you? Ladies are full of lies...Before u know it her friend don dey nack her.... I can only do that if i'm sure you are a virgin

The truth hurts. I can imagine

Plead:
I don’t even understand ..... there’s no where it is written that a feminist shouldn’t get married .

Feminism is all about equal rights for both genders in social ,political and other aspects ....I don’t see how that equates to not getting married

Lol...not really my problem.

Has any girl waited for you in your room stark naked?

This happened to my friend in school. In your kind of situation...a girl even grabbed his crotch in the faculty (though codedly) but the guy still resisted them all.

So it's not rocket science, you can do it.

Yinibixema:
Shut up. Husband comes before kids. So the husband no go Bleep well because of kids abi?

No doubt, husband before kids. I totally agree. But the husband needs to find a way to relieve her of the plenty work. If not she will always be fagged out. Try taking care of twins and doing the housework all alone and come and testify. Kids wear you out and they don't know or care that you are tired.

They want to eat, they poo, the litter the place. One can make you go crazy, not to talk of three BOYS. Her husband needs to face his responsibility and help his wife and not conveniently going out to cheat and blaming her.

StPete:
One thing most women don’t know is that the moment your attention totally shifts to the kids and place them on high priority, you’re gradually losing your husband. The neglect we feel even though society does not expect us to lament is much more than mere words can describe. Always consider your husband first as you both are living your lives while the kids will grow up and live theirs with their own family.

Not when she is taking care of triplets alone and also doing the housework. When she is not a superhero. The man needs to get involved with his family, get help for his wife instead of conveniently using it as an excuse and cheating.

For the guys, it could be frustration while for the lady staying could be because of emotional blackmail from the guy. Or he has something she cannot resist

I prefer man with money

Well... it's the normal thing to do. Informal or formal, I start a name with uppercase. But I can see that it is actually an issue for some people.

Toks2008:
Aunty Aristotle so with all your rantings..

Can you stop even your own husband from cheating on you? And of he cheats and you have kids with him wettin you go do?

It is convenient to always come online to form Amazon.

Mr ITK

The answer to these your rhetorical questions is inconsequential to you and irrelevant to me. So just rest.

bukatyne:
If our mothers' way was perfect and they had well brought up kids, wouldn't their daughters (us) be perfect?

Abi you have forgotten that the terrible daughters of today were brought up by the perfect mothers of yesterday.

Despite overwhelming evidence, we are all in denial that the mothers hailed as been content with their lives must have secretly abhorred it to collectively raise the daughters of today.

You echoed my thoughts. How does he know if the women were happy? And would it be unjust for women to crave happiness and satisfaction in present times?

He is only thinking about how is benefits the men at the expense of the women.

NNEWIsuper:
Why don't you all allow him to land, why all these fights and misgivings.its uncalled for

modified

he has finally dropped it and I must sincerely apologise to the two ladies I quoted above, seems you all already know what he was capable of writing and I apologise.His write-up is meant for the dustbins, it lacks substance and misleading. I won't even comment on the topic as it will be out of place for me to consider it a merit

He is a one way traffic .

Nothing else to offer except his usual mantra of men should be left free to roam while the women wait at his beck and call like the "women of old"

pocohantas:
Thank God for women and marriage,

I wonder what lots of you would be talking about. I also wonder what you want to write that you haven't written in your hundreds of previous topics.

E go pass how we want responsible and faithful ready-made men that are already taken and/or heavily desired?

-how we want equality without equal responsibilities?

-how we want faithful husbands when all men are polygamous by default?

-how cheating doesn't change the love a man has for his wife as long as he performs his duties, she should focus on her kids. He would definitely come back home...

-Etc

Nothing eye-opening to be written again in 2019. Every grown woman has been hearing these things since she was born. Some of us can recite it like the multiplication table.

The op's mindset is disturbing and unbelievable. He's promoting disunity, and freedom for men to live however they choose while the woman takes it all. Then why marry?

Everytime,...women of old, olden days women, our mothers. Did he think such women were happy?Besides a good number of "our mothers" married out of love and not this loveless and pathetic union he keeps mentioning here.

A woman should be all about her kids and allow the man live his life the way he wants. Really? Can she also sleep around?

This op's write up is just myopic and bourne out of selfishness.

This "women" of old he keeps magnifying were not all that he describes.

Besides if anyone expects the present situations and outcomes to be the same as in the 60s, that person needs to wake up and move with the times or die in the past.

DanielJones:
We all marry for a purpose. Thank God @OP stated his own clearly. Why run him down because of his reason for getting married? You go to a store, you see a product, after checking its description, you buy it, but it fails to give you what you expect, won't you feel cheated? That is of course a breach of contract. So let us be calm about castigating this guy here. His wife could have just cajoled him into believing she is clean but now she could just be hiding under the umbrella of pregnancy to show her true colours. Na Dem...I just want us to take a chill and view it from his perspective too. However, I still support that he gets a cleaner with affordable price.

That's why some marriages don't last. That is a terrible, selfish and superficial reason to marry for. When you marry someone for a reason, when the person cannot perform in that area, it becomes a problem.

Now his cleaner is not performing and he is complaining. The love is not unconditional or the type that sustains a marriage. It's the type that needs to be fed constantly.

The OP needs to empathize and be considerate instead of nagging and compounding issues. My first few months of pregnancy were difficult. I needed help and hubby was really understanding and helpful.

It's just the way guys on Nairaland claim mgtow, alpha male, etc. Meanwhile, in real life..nada!

uuzba:
Well, the show was already a spoilt one from the beginning. Guy was taking how out on a date and package here in the back seat as if she's crocodile that him and the driver have captured, and are carrying it to go and kill and eat.
He did not give her any single respect. He didn't treat her as his friend, babe, or even human being.
She was probably expecting some romantic music, that the boyfriend will play a special CD or mp3 on the car audio system. But who knows the Bullsh1t the driver was playing.
The boyfriend guy totally screwed up the whole situation because he's just a bush man, uncivilised.
She treated him as he deserves.

Even though her expectations were cut short, she could have acted mature and salvaged the situation and still had a good time.

What exactly did he even do that was so grave? Just that he sat in front seat. He even still respected her and got down to open the door for her. Don't get me wrong, I am against the guy sitting in the front seat but her reaction was extreme and childish.

Sunnyobums:
If you followed her comments from the onset, you would have noticed that she totally condemned the girl's character, she is among the very few wise ladies we have here on NL, you only saw the part where she condemned the guy on his own part too, free her abeg

I think you quoted me wrongly.

Thanks anyway for clearing things up for him

EmptyCoconutHead:
if you're supporting the girl then all I know is that doom will befall u rude egocentric creatures one day if u don't change
mark my words

Stop being a prejudiced ignoramus and read up. Just so quick to pass judgement without thinking

OmoEpe:
Irrelevant sentiments you said? Even when my driver drives me I seat with him in front except am ill or need to sleep.

The true test of ones character is how he/she relates to people lower than him/her on the social ladder. This same lesson I inculcate in my children daily in order not to get caught up in situations like this.

I relate absolutely with what he did, the only difference is the character/content of the wife/fiancee of the person involved.
I for one wouldn't have married my wife if she was such a person not to relate with people working for us with empathy and care.

That's who I am and the kind of person I want my kids to grow up to be. Everyone decides their priorities by the values they hold on to, I can only speak based on the values I hold dear.

Based on my values I will advise the poster to look for someone who shares his kind of values because the girl obviously doesn't

Sitting in the front with him is not a test of character neither does it show that you are are respectful to others. I can't leave the back seat if it's more comfortable just because I don't want to put my driver down. I can sit behind and relate well with him and be a better boss than someone who sits in front with him. The position you sit in is not the issue. And there is absolutely nothing wrong with sitting behind.

My husband won't choose to sit in front with the driver and leave me to sit alone at the back especially when we are going out on a date... just because he wants to show that he is humble or nice.

The position of the sitting is inconsequential. What matters is that you treat people well and with respect.

EmptyCoconutHead:
are u supporting the girl?

Read my initial comments and come back and ask this question

OmoEpe:
Why is everybody asking this foolish question? I personally view seating at the back seat of the car as not too nice to the one doing the driving, true he's working for his money but your attitude towards him speaks volume about your person.

The girl is no good, the earlier you realise that the better for you. She isn't someone worth wifing. She is an apt example of the biblical description of a contentious woman who sharing a bed with is worse than sleeping on the roof of a house instead of inside it

She is absolute bad news

So sitting in the front seat with the driver is showing solidarity or empathy? You need to sit there to show that you don't look down on him as a driver. So you mean sitting in the back seat while the driver drives says something about one's attitude. This is very funny. You need to change this mindset and let go of irrelevant sentiments.

uuzba:
I don't agree that the lady is spoilt.
But I agree that the guy messed up sitting in front with the driver.
The proper thing is to sit at the back with your lady. Unless you are the one driving. Then she sits in front with you.

She is. She lacks the ability to compose herself regardless of the situation. She had to throw tantrums... talking and acting rudely to the driver. She got there and took a taxi back home. She's not just spoilt but childish.

Kingrexyl:
Bitch please

I don't speak silly. English please...

When you are set to marry, ask your intending inlaws. They should be able to give you an answer.

Your fiancée is rude and spoilt and she does not know how to manage her emotions.

However, one question, why did you decide to sit and gist with the driver when you were supposed to relocate to the back seat when you picked her up? Is the driver your family member?

I dropped my cheques for him. Something I later regretted.

psychologygh:
ohk,nothing really just wanted to share the general similarities of South Africans and Ghanaians being straight outright about sexuality issues and personal feelings and opinions whilst the holier than thou Nigerians listen in awe buh deep down in action,they are worse off and more extremists and negatively practical with their daring thoughts. All the same,take care and continue sharing your thoughts without fear or favour. That's all what I wanted to say. Carry on.

Mostly because our men are typically judgemental and closed minded about such things especially when it involves a lady. Before you know it, they start trolling her and rubbing it in her face any chance they get. They will dig up and bring back a thread where she bore her mind and use it to taunt her and make her feel inadequate and filthy for the rest of her life

So you are not quite wrong.

Whytecube:
Got this invite from SPM Professionals. please anyone with useful information about them.
Is it worth the stress coming for the interview from Calabar?

Dear Applicant,

You have been shortlisted for the interview scheduled:
Date: 19th October, 2019
Time: 10:00AM PROMPT
Venue: No 4 Bola Ajibola Street, Bamishile Estate Allen Avenue, Ikeja. Lagos State.
Kindly come with two (2) copies of your recent CV, valid credentials and cover letter

Did you go? My colleague got the very same email.

debaj10:
correct babe!
sodiafor, u will-
provide upkeep for d family;
share ur money while I keep mine;
employ a good house help;
look after my parents and siblings.;
sponsor my future education;
open a store for me.
stop complaining about my looks;
stop complaining about my food (na house geh cook am o!);
let me have some "me time", while u bond with ur kids;
give me enough money to buy good clothes- I must look good 4 u na...

more loading o!
dis list musto complete.
I dey com

As long as you are submissive and act only according to my instructions.

You make sure my food is ready right on time and in the perfect temperature.

You submit your body regardless of how you may be feeling.

Wash and iron my clothes and make sure I always have clean clothes.

You know you should also make sure the kids are tidy and well taken care of and the house is clean at all times even if they keep scattering.

I don't want a house help, when it is not like you are lame or handicap. You can't just sit down and cross your legs

AstroG1:
Redpill is not a movement but an attitude,that am a member doesn't make a gay but makes me wiser when dealing with Leeches in Form of Women.

Good luck with that.

AstroG1:
Redpill is not a movement but an attitude,that am a member doesn't make a gay but makes me wiser when dealing with Leeches in Form of Women.

Good luck with that.

Michellekabod2:
She wrote it based on what she sees ...besides she added "Nigeria" to it.
That is the same way you makes tag feminist bitter man haters because of the few you encounter....we have made it known that feminism is fight for equality of both male and female,but you all chose to hold up your warped opinion of us as being misandrist because of the naija wanna-be feminists...
Same way with alpha males, most Nairaland so called alpha males have reduced the concept of alpha males to be trolling and shaming ladies thus potraying the concept as something bad.
I have alot of alpha males as buddies and colleagues, they don't talk about women or troll them,rather it's women that talk about them and want to know them. They don't give women attention. But some dweebs on Nairaland like astr.oG that spends his life trolling,rushing into women threads and shaming them will call himself an alpha male and thus potraying alpha males as bullies..
Just look at all the hate and aggression simps display on this forum and hide under the banner of redpill....
Unlike you who choose to call a puppy a wolf because you wanna shoot it by tagging feminism as misandrist without even checking how feminist outside Nigeria comport themselves,I will not tag alpha males are disturbed bullies with toxic masculinity based on my observances of a typical Nigerian so called alpha male, I will rather call alpha males what they truly are ....

Don't feel bad when someone misinteprete your movement,if you also misinteprete other movements!

It is already a known fact that the ones here that claim to be alpha males are nothing close to what the alpha male movement represents.

They are women haters and "women intelligence detectives". They are mostly men with wounded hearts who get satisfaction from trolling and insulting ladies. They have no affiliation with the alpha male movement whatsoever.