₦airaland Forum

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"

Your family should not have a say in your marriage. How you see your wife is the way they will also see her.

If you respect her and hold her in high esteem, they will do the same. But if you are shaky and not sure, they will capitalize on that.

Please protect her and accept her and her baggage. It comes with marriage.

SUPERPACK:
do all the necessary documentation and adopt the child to be your own, you never can tell who she will be in future, don't abandon her, because it might hunt your wife and frustrate your marriage.
May God lead you towards the right path.

So much wisdom in one short advice. Kudos

Chicagoesontop:
Na waooo, Marriage is for the matured minds and it's not by age

It is not by age at all!!!

Biglittlelois:
Backup/Contingency boyfriend- this is something i'll continue to regret not having, sometimes being 100% faithfull is'nt worth it at all.

I think i had a contingency bf without knowing that i did.

I do not completely disagree with Joro on this one.

Your wife is carrying the church on her head at the expense of her family.

Can't any family member call her to order?

All i see is greed. They are trying to use her to get things.

A family that iswell to do won't be asking for all these things.

BiggerbossAmani:
go get a life woman or probably engage in what will bring joy to you.

Have you taken your own advice?

Barfibassey:
how old are you?

Definitely a rhetorical question.

Transparency helps to cut down unnecessary conflicts.

Only those who have something to hide don't like transparency

Someone will say it will be taken for granted. What is not taken for granted?

Sammyimpostor:
No wonder, now I can see the reason why Nairaland is full of childish comments, we now got some kids here.

These are the kind of people that give marriage/relationship advice on NL

I thought it was series

BabbanBura:
Seriously! Are these the kind of teens we have on nairaland? I won't join issues with anyone henceforth.
OP, thanks for opening my eyes again

You spoke my mind

lilmax:
it sends you back to the 40s.....you said it, not me

You obviously didn't get it.

It's ok

lilmax:
what is wrong with submission?

Wrong? Who said submission is wrong? Read and understand the statement.

There are still many that are literate and liberal minded. Being literate doesn't just mean being educated but someone with a renewed and liberal mentality and mindset. There are too many people that are educated illiterates.

Nobody needs a man that will send them back to the 40s all in the name of marriage and submission.

I always say that life is not that hard and really, it is not. No trouble is worth taking because of a man that will make life hard.

I love life

bizz22:
Not at all...pls don't bring feminism into this
Its a simple conversation
What's ur take.....

Forget feminism. It is getting increasingly important for the wife to work also. If she can do what is originally said to be the job of the man, i think the man should also do chores.

I feel a woman should work and be productive

holluphemydavid:
And d lady will not be contributing anytin rite, most of u girls commenting, do u knw Dat 60k is d salary of GL 09 in federal ministries, and u knw wot it takes to attain Dat post, and guys in GL 06,07 and 08 who doesn't earn up to Dat amount are getting married, I tink most girls need to av a rethink abt dis, and also plan hw to help d family, not Dat every problem of d home should be on d man

You must have missed the part where i said "especially if i do not have a better income" and the part where i said we can get married when "our" expenses are better.

chiommy123:
the rate at which rape is increasing in our society these days is quit alarming

I am waiting for someone to blame Buhari

amstamon:
Aunty i2know, oya tell us how much b baby food and diapers. As if couples with no good jobs no dey born pikin that grows healthy as d days goes by. Afterall, before diapers and baby food, we get soyabeans powder, akamu, ogi baba, etc.. And we also still get napkin, Ankara pieces with Dustin powder tucking inside pants(with superman logo).
Even birds of the air has no farm, yet they feeds, how much more we humans created in God's image.
Hardwork is what matters most, not the figures u earn at the moment, then follows by understanding between both couples. And most importantly, there should b an input from the wife also.
Shebi na Jonathan wey him papa no fit buy shoe for became president.
Shikena..

Uncle "I no too know" i don't know what standard you want for your children and really, that is your business.

Even if you are using the cheapest products, "my boy" baby milk which seems to be the most affordable is about 1,100. Are ogi baba, soya beans free in the market?

When you are going to church or event, will the child wear ankara pieces and soil the whole place? Even the napkin and ankara pieces are bought wirh money.

Children require money no matter how cheap.

..."even birds that don't have farms have food..." . I am sure this is the scripture those that have 5 kids on a 20k salary meditate upon but they forget the scripture that says "wisdom is profitable to direct".

And i am sure you saw the part where i said "our finances" not "his finances".

If you are good with having kids without shoes, be my guest.

victorian:
True sha.
Cos with my best friend a female like myself, we give to ourselves everything freely without doubts or suspicions.

Cc MajorJeffery

You guys are so right and that is my experience now.

I married my long time friend. I knew all the babes he dated...we were that close.

My marriage is easy though we have our conflicts but we know how to handle each other.

And handling money matters is easy. It doesn't matter who has the money. Our ATM cards are used by any of us at any particular time. No issue of "it is my money"

There were times when things were down, we would drink the garri together and enjoy it like fried rice .

Marrying him is the best decision i ever made and at the time we wedded, i was earning over double his salary.

Be patient.

When you get a job with better pay, you can begin plans to move out except you still want to run back to your parents for assistance.

Is it wrong for a man to do house chores?

Silentscreamer:
Love ur comment. Some peeps just hastily get married out of passion and society pressure without giving a thought as regards the kids they'll bring into dis wicked world to come and suffer.

Yeah. People are quick to see it from the part of the woman...not wanting to marry a supposed "broke" guy as they usually term it.

But they fail to look at it from the guy's part...if he can even handle it when push comes to shove.

Elder001:
Is this statement actually necessary?

Is there even any human whether man or woman who doesn't have ego? You're beginning to turn into something else.
Exactly how you said on the other thread that men who don't spend much money and don't accept the head of the home title are irresponsible.

The last statement was there to drive home my point. Men's egos are easily bruised. So it is best to wait to earn more to avoid imagined or presumed insults.

That is what i meant.

I do not happen to have all my posts in mind to remember a former thread. Besides, we are not talking about that thread.

Xbolmax:
broken heart spotted. Lol. Sorry hanty

Wrong.

I never encountered a cheat. They take left and i take right

I didn't have time for mediocre men.

Your friend is really irresponsible and he will soon find what he is looking for.

What is it about sex that he has to act so senseless and desperate by going to lodge in another hotel just to sleep with a woman.

It is a disgusting behaviour.

And for the lady, she is shameless and foolish.

And as for you, advise yourself.

As long as he is quitting also. If not, why should the babe quit and guy is still on SM?

Definitely the lack of willpower.

Too lazy and indiscipline to resist.

Lack of conscience and morals.

Inability to be faithful to one partner

Wanting to explore other women.

The mindset that "all men cheat", therefore he is helpless.

Greatest of the greatest Uites!!!

Great!!!

omoharry:
that was well said..dont take in more than you can chew.

Yeah.

We all know the flaws we can or cannot live with.

Since everyone has flaws, we have to pick the one we can handle.