₦airaland Forum

TimeTraveller:
People don tell you say awon 'aspire to perspire' like me are coming
Ayam hia, their father!

Listen, N10million is a lot of money in Nigeria, but it's NOTHING in most countries.
You are 40 and WAEC holder, many employers abroad will avoid you.
If you could make 10 mil, you can make 20mil, don't let small boys pressure you o!

You can change cities within Nigeria if you don't like where you are.
There are still many good places in Naija --- Uyo, Calabar, Enugu, even Lagos is not bad.

Build wealth here enough to send your kids abroad to study instead of jappaing and becoming an old nuisance abroad.

Las Las, follow ya heart.

Let me just paste the comment from skedman:

"If you invest that money into business in Nigeria if you are not careful that money might vanish
The country is not business friendly at all
Economic stability zero
Power. Zero
Security zero
Fire emergency zero
Government officials. Not trusted
Road----bad state
Lasma,road safety, bio"

In addition, food is not cheap. It's even getting more expensive.

School fees for a good school will choke.

Terrible electricity and the price of fuel keeps increasing.

It's not cheap to eat; kerosene and gas are expensive.

That money will keep disappearing into things that should be basic if the country was working.

You'll keep pumping your money in, yet the country is not offering you anything; no incentives, no good roads, no basic medicals. Instead they look for ways to make life more difficult.

So, before you ask someone to remain in this country and waste his/her money, think twice.

Hamzatgodfirst:
Why you wan run commot? When you can turn that money into hundreds of millions in Nigeria

How much have you turned your own to?

[quote author=salesman82 post=108689374][/quote]Guy, even the Bible says prayer has to go with works. You cannot pray in a vacuum. Babies are miracles. As earlier mentioned, it is a miracle to the parents. It might not be a miracle to you.

Do you know how many failed IVFs they had? what the mother went through? Or how all 4 babies developed in the womb without deformities or death? Is that a miracle or not? Or was it the doctor's power?

Don't try to belittle a miracle. IVFs fail...they are not 100%. The couple don't need to broadcast their journey. All the world needs to know is that a couple were blessed with babies after 19yrs of waiting.

Anyone that wants to know what they did it, that probably needs that sort of intervention can meet them. I'm sure they will be glad to refer them. All the people I know that did IVF didn't keep it a secret. The information is not for people that it doesn't concern.

Lamanii22:
So true.... In future when I become a mother-in-law and I interfere in my son's marriage, I should be given a hot tap lol.... We should all strive to live in peace....

I will follow my mum's footsteps there. She hardly ever visited. And minding her business was a skill she practiced well. If you don't involve her, she won't involve herself to avoid see finish.

Sometimes it was even annoying because you would want her to say something but she'd be quiet. Two things she used to say:

*She'll let us pick our spouses ourselves and marry from whatever tribe. So that we won't disturb her with our problems but solve any issue that may arise ourselves.

*She doesn't sleep in inlaws houses.

I want to have my own life and with my husband, and most importantly, have my own money. So that I won't make my children's families my business.

Lamanii22:
Awwwwn was she that bad.... The only problem I have got with mine is just regarding the baby... I want to raise my baby differently but she feels she knows best regarding babies... Sometimes in my head I'd be like "back off woman she's not your baby, she's mine".... Aside from that we are cool....

.

Not just bad but disturbing and really hurtful. So I decided to remain a daughter inlaw instead of trying to be a daughter.

Kobojunkie:
Jesus Christ warned against listening to the doctrines and traditions of men(and their churches), lies , which is all that is taught in churches. Simply put, anyone who frequents these churches is guaranteed to never enter into Heaven.
Keep your children away from such places. If social entertainment is what you seek, enroll them in other things or spend the day with them at the park with other kids on all those days instead.

Smh

Kobojunkie:
For future, learn to check your emotions at the door before you engage in conversation. That way you can maybe more intelligently argue whatever it is you have to say without the disconnected references.

Amebo

Lamanii22:
It is possible to love your mother-in-law.... regarding fights, one can only try... I currently live with my mother-in-law, it's been almost a year, we've never had any altercations or arguments.... She's an amazing person, she helps with my baby, she cooks and all... we sometimes don't agree on some certain things but that wouldn't make me shout on her or anything. I would just stay quiet and fight the wars in my mind lol.....

Lucky you.

In my own case, I have found it hard to forgive. So I hardly call her because I am not too goodatpretending. .

Kobojunkie:
Not a single one of my comments in this or any other topic can be described as 'unempathetic' .

The fact that one experiences difficulty were obtaining a child is concerned does not provide one excuse for dishonesty when giving one of your testimonies. Honesty is one of hallmarks of the Christian living. And commonsense is it should apply in all of our dealings, no exceptions.

Dishonesty indeed. Amebo.

Maybe because women tend to mark territory and are mostly jealous of each other. Mum might not want to accept that another woman might be taking her place in her son's life. She's no more the only woman in his life.

Wife might feel husband's mum is interfering a little too much in her son'slife. And they now put the guy on a spot.

Let everyone know their place and try to live in peace.

Kobojunkie:
If I needed to expand my thinking, I read books instead.

Social media does not help your IQ, instead it increases level of noise you deal with in your regular life. My being here on nairaland is not to impact my intelligence or IQ in anyway

I said what I said.

Read all the books you want. Apparently, it hasn't helped much. You might need to change strategy. Change is constant. So that we can stop seeing close minded and "un-empathetic" comments from you.

But what do I know...you are already set in your ways and change might be hard for you.

Bon nuit

Kobojunkie:
i am not on social media. I have been on nairaland forum for a while and found it reasonable as effective at reaching an audience of Nigerians.

No wonder. You should try Twitter and expand your thinking. Being on NL alone does not help the IQ.

Good luck.

Kobojunkie:
Or I could simply continue informing the average churchians I meet right here on nairaland so they can be more honest when they go make an announcements of the kind of their own.

You have a wider audience on Twitter, well except your views can only be expressed in the confines of Nairaland where any garbage can be accepted. You can stick to your Nairaland. That's fine.

HornyTave:
Your analysis centres on Sex only so I believe You don't know the definition of an Alpha Male.
Being Alpha is not to be celibate or a chronic Masturbator. It is more like self value, realising you ain't dirt to be trampled on and self improvement.

Try deh use brain deh think, no be fashion God use am do for you.

Are you sure the bolded is the definition?

I actually thought it was for guys who hate women and like to insult and bash them for fun. Or identified by using the word "simp"

Hathor5:


I really enjoyed reading your views on the topic today. You are a very empathetic person. I loved it when you said that every baby is a miracle to their parents.

I was quite ignorant too in the past. Until I heard how hard it can be to have a baby with IVF. I know two couples who have been trying for years. One has been successful after years, the other one is still trying, has been trying for almost a decade now.

It's like saying that recovering from cancer is nothing just because modern medicine was involved. It's still a miracle considering that many people do not recover despite the best treatments and free healthcare.

It's typical for us a humans to judge from afar when we are not in a situation. We are so good at it. I learnt a very long time ago how not to judge, and that has helped me see matters clearly without bias or prejudice.

But many Nairalanders have perfected the act of judging and making people's business theirs and feeling entitled to them. Some, especially one, do not have the ability to empathize. May God open their eyes of their minds

Kobojunkie:
1. There is no fight except one you are imagining yourself to be in there.

2. No one's asking them to divulge their entire life story here, only that the important details not be omitted - it is dishonest not to.

Ok. You can create a hashtag for awareness that anyone who goes through IVF must divulge to you and your likes before calling it a miracle.

Hathor5:

Or "we just had twins...it was via missionary style"

xynniey:
Well, its live service replay. Since you are looking for evidence perhaps you should find other means to get the info. I have given you a link.

Don't waste your time. He's not looking for clarity. He's looking for where to punch holes. Besides, he is not happy that you have shamed his argument, but would rather want to stick to his assumption that they kept the information a secret.

Kobojunkie:
1. If they feel the position is of importance, I don't see why they would want to exclude that detail.

2. Instead the point is that failing the reveal the crucial detail of their miracle is lie by omission, a dishonest tactic. They belittle their own miracle by keeping that detail out of their own reveal.

3. Again, it isn't just you churchians that try IVF and experience failures. The entire world does... that is the more reason why it is best not to omit these things things order to show the world that your beliefs are at least not built on lies and manipulation of obvious truths.

For you, this is a fight against Christians or "churchians" as you call them. That it where your problem is.

Whether Christian or pagan, you are not entitled to every information about people's lives. They can tell their stories to who they choose to while judginas like you can continue to do what you do best.

Kobojunkie:
I am afraid I don't have access to that link at all. Is there another non subscription source that I can access the video on instead..

Thomas

salesman82:
I'll jump on this bandwagon. Without IVF or fertility drugs, over 98% of these families won't have acived their results. Read my previous thread so you'll know I'm not one who isn't into miracles, but it is time we called a spade a spade. If they had to tell you the full story, fertility treatment was in the picture frame.

[qu weote author=ImaIma1 post=108666168]

.

Where did you get this statistics? You just came up with it to hammer in your point. We are quick to judge when we have no experience of what we talk about.

I have someone that has done IVF 3 times and it has failed. If she tries it again and it works out, try to convince her that it's not a miracle. After the fertility treatment, where does the child come from? Did the doctor create it. As the child grows in the womb without deformity, is it by their power?

And it's not the business of the world to know that they were through IVF. Anyone that wants to know full details can approach the couple. Besides, it won't be hidden from friends and family.

But no, we feel we are entitled to every information somehow so that we can bring out our gowns and wigs to judge. We are not o.

Kobojunkie:
Why highlight sex when the miracle was not sourced through sex? A simple mention the IVF path was taken to securing the miracle would suffice.

If they have the baby through the conception route, can they as well tell us the positions they used?

The point is that these people have been waiting to have a child for 19years. These babies are their miracles. It might not be a miracle to you, but it is to them. They don't need people to belittle their miracle.

When we are not in a situation, we act like we are expert at it and how it should be handled. People who have tried IVF and it failed will be in a better position to tell you that it is a miracle. Maybe then, you will stop judging.

Kobojunkie:
1. So you are saying that the format for testimonies in your churches generally don't demand honesty on the part of those telling them, is that it?

2. So, the truth to these testimonies can only be obtained with further probing?

3. Unbelievers also experience the pain and expenses of IVF, yet they don't go around advertising it as miracles without including the important detail of the source. What concerns me and so many others is why churchians tend to be more Dishonest in their reveals than the unbelievers who experience the same hardships in this.

It's not dishonesty. Why don't they go ahead and highlight how they were having sex; the positions and frequency and give us full details. At least they are being truthful and giving full disclosure? Why hide any detail?

Kobojunkie:
Actually, when announcing their story, they should have announced the source of their miracle clearly for all to know.

If their intention was to keep parts of the story to themselves, then why bother telling anyone about the whole thing at all? This is dishonest

IVF is a generic name used to refer to a slew of methods available on the market today, including surrogacy and adoption. If one method does not work, simply try another

Well, I haven't heard a testimony given where all the details were mentioned. Like "thank God for my new car, I bought it from the profit I made from my container that landed 3 months ago", or "Thank God for safe delivery, I delivered via CS". You say only what is important.

Anyone who wants to know the full details can ask personally. Babies are miracles whether via IVF, surrogacy, adoption, etc.

But this is Nairaland where most people don't reason like people in the real world. So I'm not surprised at the responses. When they experience the pain and expenses of IVF and come out with one baby, they will praise God.

Dreamhighnow:
Some have used the best hospitals and also ivf stuffs without success

Hallelujah is inevitable

Exactly! My family friend was told by one of the best doctors in one of the best centres that she wouldn't be able to carry the baby even if she tried IVF. She ended up getting pregnant and giving birth.

Kobojunkie:
I agree that IVF is a miracle but intentionally withholding the path taken to reaching said miracle, is Dishonest, plain and simple.

I don't think they are supposed to say "thank God for out miracle babies. They were born through IVF". It's not for the world to know if I gave birth via CS, vaginal, with the help of IVF, etc.

It won't be a secret from family and close friends and those are who matter. Besides I personally know 3 people who tried IVF and it failed after all the money spent.

DarkJeddi:
Of course this was achieved with IVF..

Any multiple birth..

After years of childlessness..

Is a result of IVF..

Even with IVF it is a miracle, because IVF fails too...ask Adesuwa.

JackDaAlienz:
I went to my uncles home for christmas holiday and what i experienced there was dissapointing

How can a GROWN MAN not control and enforce home traning on his 4 little kids.
He always leave everything for the wife, who is overwhelmed and is not doing a good job either.

The worst part is that he will allow these kids to be awake watching tv till 12 am midnight while he will be playing video games.
If the kid misbehave, i correct them, they start crying loud and this man will always come out and defend them.
He cant command his kids to go to bed, he always beg them.
A grown man begging his kids to go to bed..
Wtfffff
And if you see how big this my incle is you will think he is ufc fighter but at home his children are the boss.

He always talks like he is smart but i feel PITY for him when these Children grow up to be mannerless cult boys, he will be scratching his head asking what did he do wrong.

Some men are not fit to be fathers
some of them are still Baby Adults that cant train their kids.

Awake till midnight ? That is late. Those kids don't have a healthy routine. Even growing up, we were made to sleep by 8pm on school nights and 9pm on Thursdays. No stories.

You can only try in your own little way. But if their own parents are over-indulging them, there's not much you can do.

Goodlyhrt:
You are not God for assuming his kids will turn out bad.. Gee allow the man to be a dad.. his way.

C'mon think positively most times. Nothing is wrong with people most times, you are just worked up.

Naaah. Kids need guidance, discipline and routine. Absence of this will come back and bite them later.

We are battling one 20yr old at the moment that is a product of things his parents allowed and indulged him in.

You have so much deep information about "your friend"...like it is you.

Probably you and wife should try doing things together more. Create fun...go out and also talk more. Once upon a time, there was love and passion. Try to rekindle it.

If not, both of you need to have a deep conversation to know what direction each person is going; to know if you are both on the same page, and if the relationship is worth fighting for.

Dude397:
God bless you

And you too.

Dude397:
Can u help me out with 1k ma'am for food and medications? Pls

Na wa o