₦airaland Forum

How do you progress with change in the world with Deeper life doctrines? Kumuyi set those doctrines. So, doing anything contrary to it will cause chaos.

How do you guys plan to marry virgins if you can't do without sex in a relationship?

Lamanii22:
What is that amount that will help you clear all your debts?

Mine: 55k

My school fees balance:25k
My mom 20k
my sis 5k
One woman like that 5k(i am not the one owing this person directly but because I followed the person that bought something from her on credit to the place.... she held me responsible because she couldn't get through to him)


What about you?

Lamanii this might turn into a begging thread.

adefitim:
Our mothers and mothers before them circumcised without no complications. According to the wife story she did her own at age 12 surely this will have complications that’s why it is done after birth to avoid that. I can’t blame the man for wanting to do that only fault him for beaten his wife.

Great! Let's just bring back killing of twins.

Everything is not redpill. Some things are common sense.

Just look for a woman that is willing to adopt a baby.

Ishilove:
I am bookmarking this comment.

It's not going down well with some people that believe they have the answers to EVERYTHING though. But they know better than to quote me

Klass99:
Seven blessings and 21 kisses , you are my kinda girl.

I'll rather show people what I can do, than talk incessantly or repeat myself (I hate repetition)

Actions really do speak louder than words, when will more people grasp this?

Ladyhippolyta88, I enjoy the posts you share with me as well. It's your shared post that brought me here to Ima's comment and now I am enjoying the ones from Sheblayze too.

Accepting it will later cause big problems as someone mentioned. It's best to discuss it. But many guys here try to make it seem like marriage is a slave-master relationship where the man can get away with anything.

Conspicuously enough, men are scarce on this thread. They know they are guilty.

chatinent:
You are right, sha. I just even realized I offended iyawo mi without knowing and thinking I deserve an apology.

Make I call am fess.

Choi.

You deserve an apology or she deserves an apology?

Ishilove:
Do this and he calls you a nag.

Sometimes having a talk and confronting him with questions is the way. Questions like:

Why don't you apologize when you offend?

Am I too small or beneath you that you cannot apologize when you wrong me?

How do you teach your children to apologize when you cannot apologize?

Should I stop apologizing to you when I offend you? And stop telling the kids to apologize when they are wrong?

There are some things that need fire brigade approach. Not all this "speak to him nicely" blah blah.

And when you say it once, you leave it and start taking actions on it.

chatinent:
Don't force anyone to change.

Just change the habit of always trying to force them.

Na una no dey apologize. That's why why you are giving advice tending towards accepting bad behaviour.

OP don't mind chatinet and his other friend up there. When a person offends, he/she should take responsibility and accept the wrong and apologize. Forget men always using ego to cover things up.

As for me, you have to apologize and not form like you are above being wrong.

ADEMALAIKA2:
Will sell it 15k ..

Can it go for 10k? Let me take it.

Where in Lag are you?

pocohantas:
Started saving 50k? With Buhari as the president, things would continue increasing, this includes rent. A woman working two jobs has struggled to save 50k. You think she won’t struggle double to keep up with savings when she adds her husband and recurring home bills to it?

All that “I’ll pamper him” would fly out of the window. It is not even because she is a woman, but she is human. After working two jobs, she would come home to be a mother and wife. Then she would realize she is the one that needs to be pampered, not him.

She shouldn’t start what she can’t finish.

It's just January nau. By December, it can be 600k if she keeps it up.

I guess she already has it at the back of her mind that she might end up doing this alone, since she is married to a "home" boy.

aboyaji:
Wait let me tell you what you don't know. I may have made a mistake quoting you. You don't sound learned in this discourse.

He is my brother. I am closest to him. I am not the type of adult that sits around doing nothing when things are going out of hand. I am very much responsible in his life because he is my brother. Get it?

I can relate. I have two siblings that have always been so close that we call them Taiwo and Kehinde (guy and girl). Fortunately, the guy got married to a sensible lady. When the "twin" visits them, it's the wife that begs her to stay longer.

In fact when I visited my brother, my sister was there. My brother's wife threatened to put her clothes in water so that she would stay longer . They attend parties together even without my brother.

People are fortunate to marry good people. But some like your brother are not that lucky. However, you'll have to let him deal with it himself. You can just try to advise him.

MommaD:
No, we never did. If anything, the church refused to wed us cos he was still living with his folks. They made him get a place because they said they've had too many issues of couples living with inlaws.

We stayed together after marriage for a year, but had to move to stay separately later on. He assured me this separation wouldn't last up to a year and we would get another place, but it's been six years and he's still refusing to move.

Yeah churches try to make sure the couple have a place to live because there have been issues of accommodation after marriage. And it's necessary for them to do that.

These are the kind of discussions done during counselling to avoid problems with inlaws, etc. As I have said, you might need to take a decision on this own and pray that he comes around soon.

MommaD:
No, we never did. If anything, the church refused to wed us cos he was still living with his folks. They made him get a place because they said they've had too many issues of couples living with inlaws.

We stayed together after marriage for a year, but had to move to stay separately later on. He assured me this separation wouldn't last up to a year and we would get another place, but it's been six years and he's still refusing to move.

Haaa he rented a place because of the church and then ran back to his parent's place after a year. And it has been 6yrs now.

If you are waiting for him to agree to getting an apartment, he might never agree. You might have to make the decision on your own because (I'm sorry to say) your husband is not ready to grow up.

Richy4:
The question that you have been cleverly avoiding is, If you pay for the rent, say this year, can you be able to pay for another next year without putting anyone under pressure?... That's just what I need to know..

If you pay for this year and cleverly tempt him into joining you and the rent expires next year, will there be war if he cannot afford it? will he loose the respect you have for him ?..

Though I don't understand this kind of "distant marriage" arrangement...

Cleverly avoiding? But she said she has already started saving for next year's rent.

MommaD:
Yes, that's exactly my plan. He'll definitely come over to see his kids and ill try to pamper him into moving in, while i continue praying

That should work. If it doesn't, it could mean that he never intended to move out of his parent's place.

There's a reason why the Bible says that a man shall leave his father and mother...

If I were in your shoes, i would go ahead and get a place and move into knowing and praying that my husband will come around eventually.

By the time he visits and experiences the privacy of a couple/family, he would understand better; being away from prying eyes and interference (whether innocent or not) from family and being able go create your own niche and traditions.

That is what I would do. I don't know about you and your husband.

Landmack:
He and his wife are being so wicked and unreasonable to those innocent kids they keep birthing.

u earn 55k and laid with ur gf without a condom at first and birthed an innocent child...u still didnt learn!

you kept on laying with her...and got triplets.

i think youre doing all these because u see free house..imagine you were paying rent...just maybe you would have been sensible enough to do the right thing.

on the other hand you never pay that ur gf bride price and you are still birthing kids with her...na wa for u.

i just hope its not a foolish person behind this moniker and trying to play on the mind and emotions of nairalanders.


padlock that ur penis bro!

He said they have 3 kids...triplets. That means they had the kids once.

Prospertochu:
She doesn't breastfed them , they haven't started school and my mother is ready to watch them while my wife go to work but my wife refuse saying salary is too poor and she want her own business.

Both of you need to put heads together to find a solution. And it's not the time to start regretting marrying her. Who would have housed her with triplets?

If she's going to start work, the salary has to be worth leaving the kids. Obviously, money for a business is not available now. I pray you both get a solution.

Bola146:
Haaaaaaaaa I know how frustrated your wife would be while breastfeeding those 3 kids at once sir, it's not easy, she will be feeling hungry at anytime, feeding the triplets alone excluding you, your wife and mother, 50k can't be enough sir. Things are too costly in the market. You and your mother need to be very patience with her please. I pray that God send helpers to you and your family. You might apply for better jobs with better pay if you see. Please don't be too harsh to your wife and kids. It's because of this Buhari regime, it will soon be over. Keep praying and have faith that things will be alright one day.






That is why I hate married people bringing out their dirties outside especially on nairaland, those irresponsible married men who can't give their wives and children #20k per month would come out here to type rubbish leading you astray. Please ignore all those people saying too harsh words at you. Cry unto God your helper for better job to take good care of yourself and your family, don't let their words turn to depression to your life.

Breastfeeding 3 2yr olds? Did the op say his wife is still breastfeeding?

Prospertochu:
My triplets are 2 years and 3 months

2 years plus. Did you mention that they are still being breastfed?

And what about school? Does the money include school fees or they have not started school.

You need help...a better job or something that brings in money. It will be hard for your wife to start a business or work while taking care of triplets if there is no help for her.

pocohantas:
Extreme delusion of grandeur. If they are not convincing their one boxer wearing selves that they can fck any ex when they wish, they are in some hot apartment wishing her evil.

This narrative is their fantasy. When has it become wrong for a girl to say No and to have a choice. Must she say Yes to every man?

They teach each student individually and accordingly to their pace.

I remember applying to teach in one long time ago. I had not gone through the Montessori course. So they said I would pay for the training first or they would be deducting it from my salary.

The student registration for that school was 200k then, just registration. I don't know how much the fees was.

But each class had a french teacher that taught the students individually. Then the students were taught individually too. Then they come together for a few minutes to work together.

Just a tour of that school would make you appreciate Montessori.

Please don't bother yourself with catering for his 7 children. If they don't know how to do family planning, that is their problem. You that should be thinking of starting your own family, your father is still breeding kids for you to father.

Don't give in to any emotional blackmail. Let him father his children. You are already helping with your other siblings. If you take care of them, they will keep having more. After all, you are there to cater for them.

pocohantas:
The message is, why are you NIGERIAN MEN obsessed with the marital status of your EXes? I made a post on this the other day and some were insulting me.

In addition to her still being single, I am sure you are also rich now and you live in a 3 bedroom terrace duplex somewhere in Ikate. You drive a muscle and earn a 6-digit right?

And the girl's ex boyfriend who was rich is now broke

zedegit:
Why I posted this is because I slid into her DM and she's acting more receptive now. Reality has set in.

So you expected her to dump her boyfriend because of you. What would you have thought of her? That she could dump you too when another comes along?

If she was really in a relationship, then it means she was loyal. Or is that not what you guys keep opening threads about.

Not all relationships work or lead to marriage. Her own didn't. So what?

ChizzyBuna:
I had a fling with one of my work friends.
She lives 15 mins apart from my area
We have been having sex for over a year
She is a good friend.

Long story short, i was given promotion at work. My job is one of the hardest.
I'm in charge of recurring new workers and im the one that submit the names of those who will be sacked.
The M.D is my uncle and he trust me so much

Today i opened a file and saw this girls name on list of people to be sacked.
I have to submit it and prepare their letters.
I have defended her when my uncle wanted to sack her last year.
If i defend her again, my uncle will suspect im having fling with her. He almost caught us kissing so he is suspicious
If my uncle find out, he might sack me.
He sees me as an angel and i want to keep that reputation. So i can become M.D

modified
For those asking why they want to sack her
Last year, during staff meeting. She kind of challenged a senior collegue's idea infront of everybody, the man was not having it. It caused a riff between them. Since then the man has been trying to sack her. Based on he is my uncles alley.
I defended her privately to my uncle. They didnt sack her..
Last year my uncle annouced that he will be going to uk for hip surgery.
His wife has taken over as of January.
Maybe the wife has a hand in this. 
And i cant ask her why..

Both my uncle and wife are not on nairaland. So its safe to bring this topic here

Damn the consequences, call her bluff and go ahead with the sack. The affair is a personal matter and your uncle may not sack you if you are good at your job. Also, it's your word against hers.

11years! That man is capable of worse things. In all those years he allowed her take the blame for their childlessnes, especially with inlaws. So sad.

But after finding out, it's better she had walked away instead of playing his games with him. Sleeping with another man cannot solve the problem

He has a new best friend - his mechanic.