₦airaland Forum

Drsnives:
I have already applied in different parastatals, inec, civil defence, immigration etc even this recent npower not to talk of NGOs. Applications HV submitted are close to 50, HV been invited for some so my sister I actually know what am doing

You said you have been at home for 3 weeks. Just three weeks. Don't get me wrong, I am not saying you have to stay a year before you make your move. But you seem in a hurry to make a decision.

Why not explore options of moving abroad, starting a promising business, etc. Why okada? Your friends will not tell you about the cons of the job. You are only seeing the lands. Besides, how long did they start riding before buying the land? You need to ask questions.

I am just worried about why someone who graduated after at least 4yrs in the university will come and opt for riding okada after just three weeks. Students are usually ambitious when in school with goals, etc. But whatever you do is your choice.

Kranediggy:
There's nothing special about them dear. I just used them as a real life e.g to show that ladies shouldn't reject a man with the features they want in a man 'cause he's not rich or has certain properties. Once he can feed himself, u & ur kids; u just have to accept him & build with him, in essence be his helper. Most successful men weren't that successful when they married their wives, u need to support ur man. The thread is all about enlightening the younger & single ladies to not attach material things to their definition of a dream man, 'cause it's better to marry ur dream & grow with him, than marry some1 'cause of his material posessions, u'll feel the gap for life...

Ladies are of different types; the ones that can have the patience to grow with someone and the ones that cannot. It has always been that way right from our parents' time and it will still be.

Not all ladies will grow with someone and they shouldn't be faulted for it. The ones who choose to start from small and grow with their men, it's their choice too. And there are no guarantees in both. It doesn't mean all the marriage with growing together will end good and it doesn't mean the ones who married a rich guy will turn out bad.

Besides, who will marry the single rich guys? Should they remain single because they have money.

Everyone should be allowed to make their choice and live with it.

I don't see anything special in the story about the 24 year old who has a wife that stood by him. It's stuff that happens everyday. Many wealthy men you see started from small with their wives; Fela Durotoye, Innocent Idibia, etc.

Nothing exceptional at all about the soldier and his wife.

Babara1994:
Kindly follow the link. It's a UK used laptop.

But your headline says it's brand new.

Methylated spirit

Palm kernel oil

Ginaz:
I’ve told her countless times but she laughs it off.

Well , I will mind my own business. Seems like I’m forcing her . If I had more siblings maybe I wouldn’t been this hurt .

Start by refusing to give her money the next time she requests. When she asks the second time and you don't give her, she will start taking you seriously. Because as it is, she sees you more as a mugu than a sister.

After doing the right thing, you have fallen apart. You are begging, sending texts doing everything and he doesn't send you one bit and you are still killing yourself for him.

Please get over him and love yourself more.

light099:
The root of your heartbreaks is quite obvious from your narrative.
It seems you suffer from inferiority complex and lack that carriage of masculinity around women.
As a result of this, you live in dire desperation to get approval from the opposite sex and every lady that sees you could read this from your eyes and behavior. You're literally at the mercy of women and they see you as a puppet. And once your acquaintanceship with any lady graduates into a relationship, it's always similar to that of slave - master's relationship. You're just like a slave trying to please his masters. The more you try as a slave to please these girls, the more you irritate them. The benevolent ones among them, see you as someone to pity rather than someone to date, so they friend-zone you immediately while the bad girls see you as a cash-cow to milk in some 2 months relationship before dumping you back in the trash.

Get this son, no woman likes a namby-pamby kind of man. You're more of a weakling than a man. Infact, it might be wrong to qualify you as a simp because your game appears weaker than that of a simp.
Your first step to freedom is giving yourself a break. Date yourself first, be on your own, be in-charge of your life. Work on your self esteem, stop behaving sheepishly around women. You don't need the attention or approval of women for survival in life, stop acting like a cry baby who needs momma to pat his soft ass to sleep. Stop being desperate to befriend any lady, it's very irritating, show yourself some respect. Stop being a beggar for love.
Didn't you say money isn't the problem? So, why then would you have money and still be a beggar?
When you stop being a pathetic weakling who's at the mercy of women, you start seeing drastic changes in your life.

You got it .

Though you used some inappropriate terms.

Perfect Symphony by Ed Sheeran and Antonio Bocelli.

The Italian language gives me the kicks

mrksquare:
Not all mother in-laws are overbearing. I am not a mummy's boy neither I am a Daddy's boy. Always being independent minded. Beside, my mum is too busy with her job to start meddling into my family. Beside, not like I will live in my father's house forever. Money I will use in renting house for three years can be used to buy land and start developing it.

My husband is not a mummy's boy either. She just wanted to take out the disagreement she had with him on me.

I am not saying all MILs are overbearing. But it is advisable to live as husband and wife away from them. It makes the relationship better and gives more peace of mind. A mother will always talk not caring whose feelings are hurt. So it's better to stay away to avoid experiencing it constantly.

mrksquare:
Why is it that ladies of this generation do not like anything that will bring them in close contact with their mother inlaw?

Only speaking to my MIL this morning, I have been crying since because of the things she said. She's causing this much wahala while she thousands of miles away, now imagine living with her.

No biggie. We even gist while in the loo.

Drsnives:
Need Your Prayers On My New Adventure

Hello guys I don't want to bore you with a long epistle, I recently came back from service (nysc) and found my guys those that didn't even go to school buying lands n building for themselves structures especially the ones riding okada. Most of them do have savings of 10k weekly aside other expenses like feeding,rent etc despite having wife/girlfriends n children.

Though I learnt mason work before going to the university but mason work is seasonal especially during the raining season, have been at home for almost 3wiks doing nothing just spending the little savings I had from service.

With that been said I decided to get myself a bike with the remaining money I have pending on when things sterblize (federal/state job or when HV gathered enof Moni for business). If those with family can save 10k weekly, I think I can save 15k weekly since am single and still staying with my parents. I prayed to God for direction Sha but hope my decision isn't bad?

A lil prayer for me won't be bad

What were your plans when you went to the university? You studied a course for at least four years.

Was your plan to finish all that only to come be an okada rider? At least try to apply for jobs and improve your skills.

Your friend's destinies and choices are not yours. The fact that they are making it through okada riding doesn't mean that is the way you have to make it.

Think twice before you go into it because it shapes you from here on out...your mentality, your mindset, your ambition and expectations.

When you start riding, just have it at the back of your mind that it is what you might end up with. What skills will you develop riding okada that will be of help for you to secure a job later.

Please think of the future before making a decision. Stop letting friends' lifestyles entice you. Live your own life.

Baawaa:
After you spoiled everything

He spoilt but he left. Some have spoilt and are still there with youths even hailing them.

Nuttella:
You are too calm for my liking, you need to revolt against them and stand your ground telling them that you cannot always do as they say. You need to be very stubborn about it. Tell them you will wear any cloth that fits you cause you are an adult, you will go out and meet your friends because you will need to marry and leave their house.

That's why its not always too good to be an overly obedient child, sometimes you have to be stubborn and fight for your rights and respect..


Throughout my secondary school, I never wore trouser for once cause of my parents, I entered university, in my 100L I didnt wear, I started wearing it from 200L when I found out that its more comfortable and the skirts available are not my taste, there are more designs of trousers and I can run easily for lectures when I wear trouser. So I used my money and bought 5 different trousers for starters, I enjoyed wearing it, I started posting the picture of me wearing trouser on Facebook, my dad saw it and didnt say anything, I came home for semester holidays and continued wearing the trouser, my dad was mad but I told him that I like wearing it, he gave a million advice but still I told him it makes me look smart and comfortable, that was how he overlooked it, I did the same thing when I started fixing nails and eyelashes at home, they just tell me to reduce the length which I will do out of respect for them but no one can stop me if I decide not to.

I like you...lol.

My parents were not overly protective. In fact my dad got me my first pair of jeans just after secondary school. He said it looked smart on ladies.

But I remember one time, I was talking to a guy from the gate at home...just greeting and all and my dad shouted at me for it. I told him that he sent me to a mixed boarding school that does he think it's only girls I talk to.

He just kind of overlooked it because he knew I was right.

Wingarnium:
I don't think I'll ever understand this over protective behavior. Funny thing is I never knew it was an issue. I wasn't happy about it but I thought that's what all kids go through until I started mixing with people that I realised that things were different with others. I know deep down I'm not wayward and I don't have that teenage urge to explore. I never had them in my teenage years self.

Good thing is my parents were hardly that way. They sent us all to boarding schools first to make us see the world away from them. The first jeans trouser I wore was from my dad just after secondary. He said he liked how girls look smart in it.

My sister and I started attending all night shows even before we entered university. My parents knew we were involved in church so they allowed us attend all them all night or late night Christian shows and programmes.

All in all, they allowed us to be independent but it's because they brought us up well and already instilled discipline in us. That's how parents should do.

Please break free for your own good and future. They will adjust. You are an adult and you need to start making your decisions.

Wingarnium:
hahaha this one is extreme mehn

Really extreme.

The first one to get married hid her relationship for a long time. This is a lady that had graduated and was working in a bank. She had to go through her brother's wife to even broach the topic.

OP needs to break free before she lives with regrets. The parents have good intentions but they are going about it the wrong way.

Mariangeles:
She's back!

Banana buns for everyone

Welcome back

proclinician:
Would you rather have your own kids become cultists and also have frat boys cut of their heads and send you pictures? Every mallam to him kettle, mind your goddamn business.

Not necessarily.

I remember growing up, there were these siblings that were never allowed out to play. Our street was a very small close where all the kids knew each other.Their parents locked them in and they would be watching us through their gate like prisoners.

When they were finally released to university, they both unleashed their dragons. The boy was a known cultists. One night he even came back with blood all over. The sister was a correct runs girl. Don't know about now though.

Being too protective has it's consequences. If you bring them up well, trust them to make the right decisions while you guide them.

OP you need to cut yourself off from them fast. If it means getting a job or leaving the house early and coming back in the evening.

Sometimes indulging over protective parents and guardians ends badly. An aunty of mine is close to 50 and still unmarried. She blamed her brother who they were living with because he was overly protective.

Her younger sisters who got married broke free even if it caused rifts then. But this one was calm and followed her brother's instructions to the letter. And she didn't really relate to men because of her brother and this greatly affected her. Now she says he should come and marry her...lol.

Please don't let them suppress you.

Sweden

Vyzz:
SIMP



the most abused word on nairaland after Buhari....


The word simp doesn't deserve all these abuses but I can't say the same for the B-word

And "cretin"

I remember when some guys on this forum were just on and on about dolls. The thing reigned and it was another tool in their hands to troll ladies.

Now sense has kicked in

They will say "fear women". But a man allowed his son become a goat for years.

emperorshaokahn:
i dont need to be married to know marrage as it is now is unfavourable and parasitic to men.just like i dont need to be in aso rock to know buhari is a monumental failure.you talk about not being forced with a gun bla bla bla,but you forget all the emotional blackmail and manipulations you women pull on men(simps though)

Yes. You need to be married to understand a lot. Sorry, it's not like an outsider knowing what is going on in Aso rock.

People can show you what they want you to see or tell you what they want to tell you.

Have a good night.

Dinner.

I forgot to take a picture of the spaghetti and sauce that went down with this.

LadySarah:
Nne you get time. Most of them are young school leavers and jambitez.

I am off work today and bored jare.

When they grow up, they will get it.

authority2006:
And my point is that for the fact that men come to women for marriage doesn't mean that the marriage is more beneficial to men. Our culture demands that men come to women. Our women, even if they're dying in silence, will never ask for men's hands in marriage

Does he have to go according to culture? Why doesn't he just do without getting married? Will he die if he doesn't get married?

Since it doesn't favour him to get married, why doesn't he wait for a woman who is begging to be married to, come propose to him? Or he can remain single and have a baby mama and a maid instead.

authority2006:
Lol. Like the pressure on you ladies to get married doesn't surpass the ones on men

The pressure doesn't make marriage marriage more important to the woman.

In all of this plenty talk, guess who goes to ask for the hand in marriage, who performs all the traditional rites, etc? The man!

Did he have a gun to his head? Or is he a(let me borrow the Nairaland grammar) simp?

Marriage is more beneficial to men blah blah but the man comes to marry. Was he under duress?

Please let's drop this matter. God created marriage and he knows what He was doing. If you don't understand it from his perspective, drop it.