₦airaland Forum

MizzD:
Women have too much to give in marriage and this really bothers me. The moment you get married, you get pressured into having kids. You successfully achieve that, you worry about nurturing them, sometimes career sacrifices are made for these kids. You endure sleepless nights to nuture these kids, and while sacrificing it all, you have to worry about getting your body (Tommy, vagina, what have you) back in shape to prevent your husband from straying. You worry about picking up your career or academics where you left it.

If you're unable to bear kids or choose to delay a little to focus more on your career, you are also at a risk of losing this man to aspiring baby mamas or crazy exes.

You are also expected to bring something to the table hustle with the man, while you perform all wifely duties alongside. Sometimes i think these sacrifices can be so challenging and when a woman is unfortunate to have a husband who doesn't appreciate all that is done to keep it all together, you begin to wonder if it's ever really worth it.

Madam Op, the solution to your problem lies between you two. If your husband does not encourage verbal communication, pls write to him. There's no point reaching out to him via social media when you can pen all these frustrations down for him to read too.

Except you are being punished for a sin or you married a robot, you should demand and get a response / reaction or whatever and then you take it from there. Be firm and sort things out. Demand answers. Be ready to accept and admit your flaws. Address ALL related and unrelated issues that got you both to this stage and get yourself out of this misery. The outcome of your communication will determine your next line of action.

Lastly, if you keep nursing the thoughts of killing anyone, pls stay away from that environment to cool off. We have enough murder cases biko.

er...you started like it's a woman's portion to bear every negative consequence in marriage I hardly swallow that. its funny that when in courtship most ladies ignore lots of red lights and once in their first to shoot from the hips in complain. agreed most men hardly lift a finger to help their wives in domestic chores child care etc but in retrospect it's cause the women themselves don't engage in knowing how a man behaves in these ways before marriage. the outings the gifts and all the vanity keeps ladies blinded till they are in the home then suddenly they are made to do chores and they begin to tell everyone "my hubby does nothing to help with the house work "!
I'm a firm believer in doing things together as man and wife no matter the busy schedule
but lo! most women tend to abuse the situation when hubby begins to help out all the time!
pls find a balance! marriage is sweet only if we kick off on simple and two-into-one foundation

Nwodosis:
I'm inclined to believe that it was as a result of bad roads and not overload. The condition of Eastern roads is enough for agitation.
May their souls rest in peace. Amen

I want to agree with you bro but let's see a situation where you want to cross a rickety bridge over a river and you have a bag filled with yams...would you put the whole bag on your shoulders and pray the bridge holds while you cross? if yes then I'm sure you understand you have your self to blame in an eventuality.
those traders and transporters are the root cause of these problems.. overloaded vehicles are a risk and everyone knows that whether on a good road or bad one...
point is we all are to blame because we fail to caution ourselves!!

good to hear this...he's been warming up since last year for this....its heart warming.
now can we see more of this kinda moves from the west and the east and stop talking about issues that don't bond people together??

thank you for this information... I've been looking out for meteors since I was a kid and of course was up and awake to view the perseids two days ago even though the sky wasn't very clear. in November we shall have a better shower and enjoy it in clear skies!
OP do you own a telescope?

first I want to thank the OP for such rhoughtful topic.
then i want start by saying the men must first take the blame ...because its how they perceive rheir wifes appearance and approve that the wife transfers to her kids specially the daughters. if a man loves his wife in bum shorts no problem, but that should not become tradition to pass on to kids of tender age and this can be curtailed by the man, the woman understands and makes sure the kids are dressed as kids not kids in adult mode.
movies women watch also has great influence on them. telemundo series has captured and imprisoned our wives so much they no longer concentrate on basic chores. especially the spanish versions where sex and smooching always take centre stage. because the wives cant miss a serie they are weak in changing channels or watching in privacy. kids see all the erotic moves and why not? they do same or their bodies respond like it or not.
music is no longer the food for calmness and rest...lyrics are filled wit lewdness and the videos sell basically because hips are swayed and skin is exposed! its disheartening.
deal with the situations now else you will have a lot to regret in future no matter how you deny it.
fathers mothers work together and save yiurselves the embarrasment!

obailala:
Then you obviously have no clue the kind of stinking greedy politics that goes on with community development funds at the local level. You cant expect the federal govt to be responsible for development of minor roads in villages do you?

I feel many of the citizens if these areas still haven't understood what their leaders are doing and the kind of theft and deceit going on there by political elite. problem is these thieves know what you like and use it against you. they give you pittiance and you jump for it and praise them. see ibori, despite the jail term he came back a "hero" praised as the true son of the soil! HOLD YOUR LEADERS AND THEY IN TURN KNOW WHO TO HOLD....and the beat goes on....

wives should also take a hands on approach to domestic chores not sending for cup from the kitchen then while the child is halfway you send for pillow in the bedroom just because you don't wanna miss a conversation on telemundo!
also they should take correction with tolerance ...husband's effort to correct your attitude isn't judgement or life sentence... no need saying "you too you are not pure yourself after all you stole meat from pot in 1900 and you were caught"!
if your hubby is the kind that helps in chores don't ever begin to feign tiredness before you come from work just to dodge....no matter how tired join in and a caring man knows you need rest and will let you off....

Zeze06:
NK, I see no crime in what are doing....

Even if you die today, history will never forget your struggles for a true course...

Martin Luther king Jr. Fought and died for the truth, with forces much stronger than the ones opposing you right now....

Be strong and not lose faith, "for the Egyptians you see today, one day you shall see them no more"...

Martin Luther King didn't make hate speeches or call anyone names...try a different approach sir...

ehimeayeni:
When you speak in tongues it's not for anybody to understand because it's not man like yourself that will answer your prayers. It's God that understands that will answer your prayers. If you want to speak so that people will understand then pray to men

pls kindly read the bible in acts 2 you will find that this tongues mean other languages of men. nowhere in the bible does anyone speak in any tongue that's called "heavenly " and that's not a human dialect. pls do your research objectively. thanks.

pressplay411:
I think Trump and Kim need to see this!
All these dic swinging childish threats between them must cease.

true! even here in Nigeria people need to see this and know that war is never the answer to a nation's problem! agitations must be done with words not hate speeches!!!

hahahahaaaa...I was champion when it comes to nicknames!! I still do ...lots of people just can't be let off...they must be nicknamed!!
acting millionaire, millionaire, landlord, owner's corner...the list is endless!!

so early I dey wedding o...now I'm no longer enjoying the wedding... Mo Salah...wake up o...

kai! see how people "fighting" for their "rights" are using hate speeches to "achieve" their "ideology". hmmmm...I try to equate these self styled "leaders" to great MEN like MANDELA or MARTIN LUTHER KING and find no comparison!! how then will they succeed? so much vulgar speech and little direction! I've never really heard from any of them words that will become embossed in gold in a hundred years time!
waiting to see!

How, When and Where to Watch the Year's Best Cosmic Light Show
The Perseid meteor shower, one of the best shooting star displays of the year, is set to peak on August 12. It is expected to produce up to 150 meteors per hour and will be visible across the Northern Hemisphere.
The best time to watch the shower is late on August 12, or early the following morning. Stargazers hoping to watch the event should find an area away from light pollution and get settled in a comfortable position, allowing about half an hour for their eyes to acclimatize to the dark.
Alternatively, a live broadcast of the shower will be shown via the Slooh website on August 12 from 8 p.m. Eastern time. Astronomers will discuss the Perseids and answer questions about the meteor shower over the course of the evening.
Trending: For Many Immigrants, Marriage Is the Fastest and Easiest Way to Get Legal Rights
You can watch the event live below:
Visit Slooh.com to snap and share your own photos from this live event, interact with the hosts and guests, and personally control Slooh’s telescopes (Courtesy of Slooh ).
Don't miss: Will Trump Resign? Richard Nixon Resigned 43 Years Ago Today Because of Lies
Meteor showers take place when Earth passes through a comet’s debris trail. The tiny particles that are shed from the comet hit Earth’s atmosphere and are vaporized, creating bright streaks across the sky.
The Perseids is one of the more prolific meteor showers of the year, sometimes producing up to 200 meteors per hour. It is associated with the Swift-Tuttle comet, which astronomers discovered in 1862. Records of the meteor shower date back almost 2,000 years.

sorry guys, no pictures from my end due to heavy cloud cover...it was very frustrating...

mods should do the needful and put this on FP...

According to SPACE, a penumbral eclipse will begin at 9.22 p.m. on August 7 and end at 2.20 a.m. on August 8.
NEW DElhi: A partial lunar eclipse is set to occur on Monday night and, if skies clear up of the
monsoon clouds , it will be visible across the country.
The partial eclipse will begin at 10.55 p.m. on
August 7 and will last for about two hours.
"The maximum eclipse can be seen at 11.51 p.m.," said Science Popularisation Association of Communicators and Educators ( SPACE) -- New Delhi-based astronomy organisation -- in a statement.
"For those who follow Hindu traditions, the eclipse has mythological and religious significance. But yes, it's a celestial event, which can happen on any Full Moon whenever the
Earth moves in between the Moon and the Sun," said Mila Mitra, Scientific Officer at SPACE.
But, because of dark clouds, the eclipse would not be visible in the northern parts of India, particularly Delhi, SPACE said.
According to SPACE, a penumbral eclipse will begin at 9.22 p.m. on August 7 and end at 2.20 a.m. on August 8.
SPACE has organised a telescopic observation for the general public at Marina Beach, Chennai.
The total duration of the penumbral eclipse is five hours and one minute and that of the partial eclipse one hour and 55 minutes.
Observers in Africa, Asia and Australia will see the partial eclipse in its entirety.
The central part of the eclipse zone, where the Moon is at the meridian when the eclipse occurs, will be seen in Central Asia and India.
Lunar and Solar eclipses happen in pairs, with the lunar eclipse happening within two weeks of a solar eclipse .
The August 7 lunar eclipse is associated with the upcoming major August 21 solar eclipse.
A total penumbral eclipse is a lunar eclipse that occurs when the Moon becomes completely immersed in the penumbral cone of the Earth without touching the umbra.
It is a narrow path for the Moon to pass within the penumbra and outside the umbra. It can happen on the Earth's northern or southern penumbral edges.
Partial lunar eclipse, on the other hand, is when the Earth moves in between the Moon and the Sun but the three do not line up exactly. Only part of the Moon comes under the Earth's shadow, and looks darker.
space | Solar Eclipse |
partial lunar eclipse | monsoon clouds |
Lunar Eclipse 2017 | earth | August 7

backtosender:
gun men never spoke Igbo from witness account vanguard latest news

and the witness heard and understood the language the gunman or men spoke? over the din of gunshot and madness the witness heard them speak "Fulani or Hausa" ko?

na wa o! OP, what you wish for you will get and I believe you wish that there be confusion everywhere cos your kind thrive on confusion.
clearly you're trying to make your "sympathizers" feel you're all "victims" of the call against agitation.
if you're called to answer questions before a grand jury do you think your write up will hold water?
anyway here's a suggestion, form a quorum and send a letter to the UN and have them investigate the heinous crime independently and see.
then again I want to let you know that it's guys like you that stir up hatred and eventually genocide and clearly you're toeing the line of your "leader" KANU.
now, look at this: when the likes of Martin Luther King were agitating for civil rights in America he was nonviolent as well as well organized in his walk and talk. you could feel his fervour strength and passion. despite his being arrested brutalized and eventually shot he never made any hate speeches for any reason and encouraged the blacks to watch their tongues and actions. that's the mark of true leadership and power. now compare that with your "leader"....you be the judge and jury and you also be the victim bro....
see you when you've had goof thought.... oh! one thing, ..."in a situation of hostilities TRUTH is the first casualty... take note.

johnydon22:
I have many threads on astronomy, go to the science section library and find them

https://www.nairaland.com/3004923/science-section-library

You may do well also and open yours, there are much to talk about on astronomy and science in general

great! but let's just maintain yours for unity and growth. will go there and contribute. thx.

hello Nairalanders
I notice there's no topics on astronomy here and I think there's a lot to learn from the cosmos to last a lifetime!
seriously, there's are news and info about the universe, space probes, planets stars, comets, and lots of other stuff to talk about.
for instance how many of us know that we can see the planets Saturn, Jupiter, Venus and Mars right now with our naked eyes? all you need is where to look and at what time at night.
let's find a thread for that on NL shall we? who's with me?

BETlordnowpsych:
i noticed i belong to no one here. There are friends clique here while some connect via facebook, bbm and whatsapp. No one has ever cared to connect with me. Is it because i don't have money, fine face or write sensible articles


I once heard skarlett ask jacksparrow1207 why he has been away on whatsapp. Lalas247 once sent a twerking video to a nairalander. Victornezzar once got PM from nma27 abi na mariinee. SInZ has been connecting with hot babes like berlynn, iamkashybaby (smellinganus bae) and so on.


I wonder why i am alone

you're not alone bro...hook up with me if your interests include astronomy, soccer, science , writing , history and general knowledge.
I don't enjoy lopsidedness, hatred, lack of vision, laziness and vices.

this is always the scenario when there's dissent! it's only just started, and I know IPOB will cry they're being lied against and massacred when things go wrong and will claim everyone is on their side when the authorities just watch them without making any arrests....time will tell, they're yet to understand that in the incidence of hostilities TRUTH is the first casualty:!
from hence, their ability and capacity to manage hostile situations will prove them as worthy of their cause! this is always the scenario when there's dissent! it's only just started, and I know IPOB will cry they're being lied against and massacred when things go wrong and will claim everyone is on their side when the authorities just watch them without making any arrests....time will tell, they're yet to understand that in the incidence of hostilities TRUTH is the first casualty:!
from hence, their ability and capacity to manage hostile situations will prove them as worthy of their cause!

this is always the scenario when there's dissent! it's only just started, and I know IPOB will cry they're being lied against and massacred when things go wrong and will claim everyone is on their side when the authorities just watch them without making any arrests....time will tell, they're yet to understand that in the incidence of hostilities TRUTH is the first casualty:!

truthsayer009:
Mr OP, how come your neighbour is complaining to you about his wife? I smell something fishy !!!!

fried fish or smoked fish?
come on, hope you're not thinking what I think you shouldn't be thinking!
anyway much as I don't interfere in people's family issues, it's out of respect I guess as I'm older and I guess he felt the need to ask someone!

Trottle:
Those "smart" people are the most dumbest!! Yes!!!

So having children with different ladies, changing women like tissues, with kids growing in dysfunctional homes with low self-esteem is your definition of enlightenment?

Coming home to a cold house devoid of a spouse and kids, with your consolation being T.V, girlfriends, porn, parties and beer is your definition of advancement?

If you do not get married, you would still engage in acts that bear resemblance to marriage albeit unholy (baby mamaism, live-in girlfriends etc.)!

If getting married is your definition of being primitive, then I would prefer to be a bushman for life while you engage in your "advanced" living. SalmanRushdie indeed.

boy!! that was some rapid fire!!! and all shots hit bullseye! the holy book says "as a man thinketh , so is he..." as SalmanRushdie thinks, so he is!

bbsteve:
The only thing that will make a man be scared is just finance.

I beg to disagree. finance will always have a way in human life, whether married or single. fact is face reality, cut your cloth according to coat abi how them talk am self?
if you both are true to yourselves and agree, you will find happiness in the home whether the finances are enough , not enough or lacking completely. hard times never last and so do good times!!
I'm talking from experience bro!

ladies mostly, gents, I greet.
my neighbor complained bitterly that his wife usually ties wrapper around her chest once she's back from work and usually this is loosely done.
as she goes about her chores dutifully the wrapper keeps loosening and yes she struggles to keep it up but mostly her b..jobs get exposed and this sight is seen by the kids aged 14, 11, and 7.
at times she sits and carelessly leaves her legs open exposing her inner thighs and sometimes her pubic region can be seen. sometimes lying on the bed she spreads her legs and cares no less.
his advice goes ignored as she usually says she's in her own home and should therefore relax. my neighbor feels it's indecent.
can we say her behavior is OK? though I feel it isn't I need to hear from our ladies and gentlemen. thanks y'all.

I beg by next week I want to read on NL a story wit the title "my gf left me cos of my temper"
if I don't read a story like that then I know you will very soon write ( from the great beyond ) a story with title "I regret not following advice by NLers! now RIP to me"
das all ahaf to say...

doughziay:
One of the most difficult things about being in a relationship is realizing that two people are different from each other. No two people ever have the same needs, goals and desires. And sometimes these differences can cause lot of hurt, pain and misunderstanding. So, while you may not be the type of person to flirt with others, it is possible that your husband enjoys doing so and has little trouble lying about such matters.

The trick is to express your feelings in such a way that your husband can empathize with your point of view rather than turn away. If you can do this, it will make it easier for you and your husband to work through this issue. But, again this is not fair—it places a lot of responsibility on you to make things work.

Finally, it is normal to want to seek revenge by exposing the other woman. However, we strongly discourage you from doing so. If you act on your desire to get even by telling her husband or her employer, it will most likely will come back to haunt you in the long run. Your motives will be questioned, people will talk, and the story may actually get back to your husband’s work environment

very good.

paintworld:
be good to him for no reason... prepare his best meal... then let him realize how much u love him. Tell him to forgive you for anything you might have done wrong... if you have enough money, take him out to have nice time with him... Ask him if there is anything u r doing that he doesn't like and is there anything he'll like you to be doing... if he tells you, "change" and use the power of woman(crying) to tell him to pls not to cheat on you with any other lady. then see if there are changes.
.. Above all make plans to go and live with your husband...

great...good advice.

usually when you're far apart from your spouse, the man meets or is met by females and usually they strike a cord and a friendship of sorts begin. mostly you're unaware until you stumble on it via phone records or what's app like you did. now the situation changes for you like you just said.
men/women are easily drawn away by emotional attachment to guy/ ladies mingling around them that's a fact.
now since you can confirm you saw this on his phone and he's deleted it means a lot and you must act NOW but SENSIBLY not to put him under pressure to begin a backlash.
speak kindly and gently to him but firmly. take time to DISCUSS not CONFRONT him. tell him your expectations of him while he's away and your fears and I will advice that you don't tell him you saw anything yet unless it continue after you have discussed the first time.
one thing, don't show agony and desperation in front of him else you put yourself too much in the defensive.
that's all you do for now. remember don't say you ever looked into his phone just yet else you won't get the chance again for he will obviously password it. try to copy and keep the female's number and don't repeat don't call her yet...time will bring things to the fore...be patient. good luck.