₦airaland Forum

"Let me never fall into the vulgar mistake of dreaming that I am persecuted whenever I am contradicted"

- Ralph Waldo Emerson

MrBrownJay1:
No man should ever lay hands on another woman, simply because she has a verbal argument with his woman....NEVER! His own woman should protect her own damn self OR shut the fukc up, without the need for his foolish help. She should press charges against this deluded bastard and have him arrested for assault.

Now, on the other hand, if that babe physically attacks him directly, then that's another story.

Yeah. even if it was a guy who verbally insulted his girlfriend, he still has no right to lay a hand on him.

The concept of "No violence" seems to be an alien concept for us

tammyswits:
Its not rape if it aint criminal, coz rape is forced sex, even if she changes her mind at th last minute, after turning him on and he forces her way in its still criminal!

rape is non consensual penetrative sex not forced sex

Mayflowa:
True, the doctor has not violated or hoping to violate the woman in their last patient-doctor meeting but the doctor has an ego that is against medical ethics. Your wife was uncomfortable with a male doctor for her procedure doesn't amount to suspicious abuse. The doctor is trained and certify to carry out such procedure but doctor are also trained to accommodate patient wants. Your wife is not alone here. Some male would also not want their private part be examined by female doctors. In an ideal climate, patients are asked before procedure if they required a male or female doctor.

true. She has a right to request a female doctor.

It is wrong for her husband to call the doctor a pervert however.

and i agree the doctor's ego is a conflict of interest with his responsibilities.

pocohantas:
I expected your response. When you push the woman who built with you and marry a younger one to make her first lady or controller of your estate. That isn't abandonment ba?

If I abandon my broke bf who contributed nothing but prick and love. He will run to NL to create thread, telling everyone who cares to listen how I dumped him after getting a good job.

The general consensus would be how women can't handle power and/or how they change when they see small money. It will never be how he contributed nothing besides love and no sane woman would abandon a man who helped build her.

Abandonment is abandonment, be it taking additional wives or total cut off. Neither of them was the initial plan when you had nothing.

OBJ might not be a good example.

His issue with Moji is beyond "stood by you"

Meanwhile there are women as well as men who will abandon someone who built with them. Gratitude has little to do with gender.

seunmsg:
Yesterday, Prof Pat Utomi spoke against the demonization and ethnic profiling of the Fulani people. Today, Bishop Mattew Kukah of the Catholic Church has done the same. I applaud their courage for refusing to flow with the herd.

I believe we still have so many reasonable Nigerians who are concerned about the ongoing politically motivated hate speech against a particular set of people. This is the time to speak up. We don’t want another 1966 pogrom or Rwandan kind of genocide in our country. This is the time to put our humanity above ethnic sentiments.

While we condemn criminality and ask for security agencies to step up their game and ensure safety of lives and properties, we must never fall in line with those ethnicizing crimes.

It is a terrible thing. I too was suprised about the whole herdsman passport thing.

Nigerians like to give crimes an ethnic coloration. Igbos and Hausa/fulani are usually at the receiving end.

A case of domestic violence and our focus is on what the man did to trigger her.

Definitely akin to those who say "what did the wife do that made him beat her"

etrange:
Nothing is worse than being raped though

going by that logic, this (having a chaperone) will also prevent rape.

so you are supporting his point since rape is worse than any division this may cause

Mynd44:
I hope when women say they can't work with men and refuse to employ men to work with then, men don't complain. This issue goes both way and as much as it is for safety, it also has a larger impact on society



But this part is crap. It is not sexist; he just does not think he is safe in close quarters with you and wants a "bodyguard".

On a separate note sha, if a white man says he is not comfortable being around black people alone so he needs a chaperone, it will come off as racist.

Weird world

I like the way your Mynd works

joseph1832:
Whether it was consensual or not, if Busola was 17 years old at the time, Biodun Fatoyinbo raped her, statutory rape that is.

age of consent is 16 in kwara

11 in some other states sef

MetaPhysical:
She said there is a UN Charter that protects women against abuse.

Our journalists do a poor job of putting t hings in balance. I will correct the error.

What Hadiza meant and why it has to go to UN is because it will enter registry as a case scenario. Also, in a male dominated society the offenses of men against women are often trivialized and excused. Imagine that Abbo would have gotten away if there were no camera recording or if the recording never made it to the web.

The legal aspect has to be attended to in Nigeria. The infraction and case study needs to be registered with UN.

see ehn as per the bolded, the casse would have been more trivialised if the victim was a man. The uproar is evn more because it is a woman.

Assault is assault irrespective of gender of victim. This case is going well and hopefully the abuser will be punished. Let's not give it a gender coloration.

we live in a world that keeps telling us we are unique, special, deserve to be treated like a queen/king etc.

See ehn 7 billion other people are also unique and deserve to be kings so there is nothing special about your being king.

When people say they deserve to be treated special or like a king/queen, they usually mean treated better than others.

last last I am just a bloody mass of hydrocarbons and water!!!

sexual assault

tendingNews:
Source: http://www..com/2019/07/shy-elderly-bride-refuses-to-kiss-groom.html?m=1

inoki247:
vEhn charge him now abiv what else do you guys want e shuld take sniper abi wetin..

the bolded are my points exactly. They could have charged him to court already even before he steps down

His stepping down is more for church elders investigation not court

inoki247:
he sha don step aside now... Oya charge him to court Abi u guys just wan start wetin u no fit finish... Some people Just want to take down iz career without wanting to get to the root of d Mata...

well he didnt need to step down before he can be charged to court. Pastors do not enjoy immunity from prosecution.

flexxyworld:
Nigerians and sentiments. There are many sides to this story but mounting so much pressure of this man is so uncalled for because he's a pastor or because of the celebrity status of the party involved. We have had worse case situation and recent that nothing was done by this same activist or populist. let's allow the law court do their job and we should keep an open mind on the situation. We have not even had pastor biodun's version and we are making conclusions . I pray for his family and that of dakolo to be strong.

it is the right thing. He has to step down and be investigated whether innocent or not.

for the bolded, why can't he bring his own version so we can spot the logical inconsistencies just like we did so vehemently on Busola's story.

lilbest4:
I knew Davido was an idiot
So nobody can have a different opinion from the bandwagon?
This man hasn't been proven guilty and you don't know if he is guilty or not yet you want everyone to crucify him. Fools parading themselves as celebrities and trying to appear politically correct. it's pure stupidity to already hang a suspect based on accusations. The accuser must prove her case before you take sides and crucify the accused.
Wtf is wrong with the whole world so because it's man vs woman the man is automatically guilty?
there are too many foolish people in the world right now so Davido, as a man does not know that this can happen to him, any girl can come out tomorrow and say Davido raped me and everyone will crucify him without trying to know if she is lying or not

Wale tried to shame the alleged victim by bringing up her and her husbands life.

that was dirty of him.

Davido is right I am afraid

PrimadonnaO:
There's one thing my Literature teacher, Mrs Julie back in SS3 said to us; which I'll never forget. She said if at any point in life we find ourselves confused on which man to pick, we should make sure we choose he who loves us the most.

At that time, I didn't really know much about love. I'd never had a boyfriend. But having grown and had experiences over the years, I realise that women love easily, but men don't. So when you find a man who truly loves you and shows it in every damn way, hold fast to him. Didn't the Bible say a woman is cursed to love her husband? A woman would more easily come to love who cares for her and f*cks her. So when you put your mind to it, it's a lot easier.

I totally agree.

I used to argue against this with some of my "feminist" friends. I argued that the lady should love more because men were naturally more objective and could more easily respect and be fair to some they aren't attracted to. I used the analogy of a girl being toasted by a guy she isnt attracted to in butressing my point.

In the last year or so, i have come to agree that the man should love more. A man should tilt towards the lady he loves while a woman should tilt more to the one that loves her. two observations led to my change in view:

1) women interpret love more subjectively: being married to a guy who treats you right as a sense of duty rather than because of his feelings for you. he doesn't cheat on you because he is disciplined and not because he loves you

2) more men than women can more easily come to terms with love demonstrated as respect or as a sense of duty. She respects me because I am her husband and not because she is attracted to me or I am worthy of her respect.

The sample space for my observations was quite small so I (and you) still might be wrong

xyz123456:
Why won't they react? If its Quran quotes, you Christians will start shouting Islamization

indeed the question has nothing to do with religion but if it had been the other way round, people would have screamed "Islamization"

trapQ:
See them above me making baseless assumptions with zero facts.

Men have always been more populated than women but trust African men to twist this narrative to suite themselves.

In almost every hospital in the world, more male babies than females are always born. In China, there are about 30 to 40 million more males than females making it difficult for lots of men to find life partners. In India it is also the same. That's why they kidnap women and forcefully rape or marry them. It is so bad in China that a man once suggested wife sharing as the solution. Lots of Chinese men also travel to neighboring countries to find wives too.

But Nigerian men don't wanna accept this even with overwhelming facts.

even without that stats, it is easy to see that there are more men than women.

birth data, school enrollment data in urban areas etc.

When ladies say there are not enough men to marry, it really means "marriageable" men

... and the lack of marriageable men is due to hypergamy (that makes lady seek men of a higher class) and sexual immorality (that makes sex easy to get outside of marriage)

pocohantas:
English please. Thank you.

FSSP - Priestly Fraternity of Saint Peter
SSPX - Society of Saint Pius X

Both are traditional priestly societies in the Catholic Church and promote the old (or better called extra-ordinary) form of the Catholic Mass.

I learn now the the FSSP is in full communion and has papal (Pope) approval unlike the SSPX

Exodora:
I just wonder the type of boys that are in this forum sef, so they can't differentiate a spoilt brat from a feminist tufiakwa . You see a girl that has abducted the western life and yet all ya can rant is feminist is it that you all lack brain or what kwanu biko nunu Niaraland people. May we all receive sense in Jesus name .Amen.

I am playing the ostrich here:

Scenario one: an adult female telling an older and physically capable adult male (who is her father and financial provider) to do his dishes

Scenario two: an adult female telling an older and physically capable adult male (who is her husband and financial provider) to do his dishes

what makes the female in scenario one spoilt but not the female in scenario two?

AmazonTopaz:
Silly girl.You wan bite the hand wey dey feed you
You go tell your daddy make him wash him plate and the man is still responsible for you and paying your school fees. You nor try at all the least you can do for someone taking care of you is to do things that would make such person happy not challenge them.

What does he mean by this? If the woman is also working nkor her husband should not assist her in the home front. While so self centered you want a wife who would be an asset and help you provide yet you cannot help her domestically

the thing is most men like this do not even expect their wives to be an asset or provide

MosesAlex:
Actually the differences are more than the priest facing the Altar (as you have during benediction) or the use of Latin ( because the Novus Ordo can also be said in Latin) there are other differences
It's our heritage, you may want to read more about it.

https://fssp.com/why-the-extraordinary-form/

I agree.

I would like to know though: what is the difference between the FSSP and the SSPX ?

Nairasurplus:
What is traditional mass? Is it celebrating holy mass with thing available in ones locality. For instance replacing mass wine imported from Spain with our natural palm wine. Is it not God that created palm wine. I thought mass is a form of prayer? Does a prayer have a format before God accepts it?
Christians, open your eyes.

The traditional mass is not local mass.

It is more like the old mass in latin with the priest backing the congregation. It has been the traditional mass until the vatican II council in mid nineties

delishpot:
Came to ye party late but the sexual deviants associations did not fail me. Many positive comments from rapists point of view. Women hope you are following this trend, 98%of Nigerian men are rapist, pedophiles and closeted gays. Make sure any male in your home is watched closely like the rapist they probably are

i was beyond shocked at the comments but 98% is your emotional reaction to these post. nairaland is not 1% of Nigeria and the male posters supporting rape are not up to 30% of the total male posters on the thread.

Trendishine:
NAIRALAND IS POLLUTED WIT KIDS.... Gone are those days... Look @ d height of repugnance and dirty talks by "ignoramus" children everywhere on very sensitive issues... Anyway idiots like these who are waiting devils, readily spilling trash on every thread on this forum has a plan seun dnt know..And they could have been sent to bring down his forum, or do anything to make it repugnant.. And irritating to visit....mods have take out their time to fish dis animals and their monikers n ban them on d slightest misdemeanor.....very dirty to even phantom how they sound or look like... If this forum were live, m not sure any of this ediot kids would have d guts to even open their mouths... Behind the phone n computer mosquitoes...

the comments were quite shocking

dominique:
People thinking of suicide should always think of the loved ones they're about to leave behind before taking such drastic step.

indeed I think of that.

meanwhile some are depressed and have lost touch with reality and rationality. Society needs to do better to identify depressed people

kayjay69:
Typical Nigerian Syndrome. They abandon the message and pounce on the messenger. I'm surprised they havent pounced on Timi Dakolo yet, I guess most of them are conflicted internally having to choose between a gospel singer and a man of God.

Having followed the earlier story that broke a couple years back between Ese and the Pastor, I'll just say no matter how long it takes the truth always has a way of getting out. I remember how some people derided her for coming out (as if that should have been the main story) and I remember how some people painted her narrative as false (well those ones won't be convinced by these latest accusations either). While she may have had her faults, afterall it takes two to tango, I wonder why the story was made all about her trying to pull a Man of God down when it should have been Man of God shamelessly cheating. Anyway, my take has always remained the same, Pastors are Men and they are fallible (goodluck to anyone who thinks they are spirit men who descended the earth from the heavens above). If and when they fall, they should have the good grace to own up and step aside in order to deflect attention away from themselves. But you see most Pastors especially Nigerian Pastors won't do that and it has a lot to do with the ownership structure of these churches. It is sad but it is true.

well said and the bolded is the difference between the new generation and the Orthodox churches/Redeemed.

Mayflowa:
But Catholic and Anglican priest has been found guilty of fornication, harassment and homosexualitytoo

but they arenty GOs and do not say they have grace therefore it wouldnt be counted against them

dancewith:
I tend to be displeased when this lady come around

First off, she isnt a victim. She fornicated with a pastor as an adult. She was a masters student in the UK and was sponsored by pastor Abiodun.

There is nothing free even in Freetown and she must have known. When the pastor invited her to his penthouse in the UK she went there with her eyes and legs wide open and she was not raped

She only started crying foul when she realised the pastor had moved on from her and has others of her kind he is now on to

She knew exactly what she was doing and she should never have formed victim even in 2013

As for the pastor, the days day of reckoning is fast approaching

if you read well, she agrees with you that she is not a victim. She actually doesn't want anyone to bring her into this new trending scandal as one of his past victims.

She admits she played the victim card for a long time but does not wish to be seen as a victim anymore.

You and her are saying the same thing.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Of what use is customary law when it is not legally recognized even outside the country.
He is her father and should enjoy paternal rights whether or not he paid anything.

Well this is only for traditional marriage which is subject to customary law.

Regina's father cannot receive bride price if he did not pay bride price for her mother whether he was involved in her life or was a deadbeat Dad.