₦airaland Forum

What hurts me most about this story is that, it could have happened to any law abiding citizen of this country.

Omotaday:
They don’t look happy. Trump using human lives as chess.

'I am in the Army' is not by mouth alone, this is the time for them to do what they are being paid for. The army uniform is not for fashion display on social platforms or to intimidate civilians, it's meant for men/women who are ready to fight for the sovereignty of their nation.

Brunosamel:
Hello guys, I have been worried about this issue.
I just graduated recently and am at the peak of my career trying to shape up my life for the better future with my girlfriend, someone that I have been dating for the past 6 months.

We have so much in common and built our relationships with love and trust. The journey wasn't easy but we were able to settle our differences and understand each other.

Recently she met a childhood friend whom she had a crush on when growing up, but the guy never asked her asked to be his girlfriend never said anything to her cuz he saw her as a small girl then.

The guy is into business and has quite established himself. Last 2 months the guy asked her out and she told me about it cuz she needed my permission whether she should go or not and I said okay she can but it will only be first and last time she will go out with him.

To cut the story short, last night I called her line and she was on another call for more that 30 minutes. I confronted her about it and she started crying, was begging me that she was sorry and that the guy is really disturbing her, asking her to give him a chance, to the extent that she should leave me for him, he will give her anytime and even train in the university.

She told the guy she can't leave her boyfriend becuz she loves me so much. I was dumbfounded and I don't even know what to do about it cuz I don't have the resources (money) at this moment

Relationships gurus what do you think about my situation I need your opinion and suggestions cuz I love this girl so much and want to settle down with her cuz she suffered with me and I suffered with her.

Say whatever you want to but just be brutally honest with me....

As a person (male or female) progresses in life, he/she is bound to meet someone who appears to be better (whether in physical appearance, financial capability, tribal preference etc) than his/her current partner (boyfriend or husband), the decision to stay with one person, is out of conviction that he/she is the ONE for you. This is one of the attributes that distinguishes a potential flirt. My point exactly is that for how long will you continue to beg her to stay. Mind you, this is just the beginning of the journey (you guys aren't married yet).

My advice is that you should make considerable efforts in assuring her, but don't go overboard (e.g., making promises you can't keep) just to make her stay.

YOUR CAREER AND FUTURE IS MORE IMPORTANT, NOBODY IS IRREPLACEABLE/INDISPENSABLE EXCEPT GOD. WHEN YOU BECOME ACCOMPLISHED IN LIFE, MORE ATTRACTIVE AND RESPONSIBLE WOMEN WILL CLAMOUR FOR YOUR ATTENTION.

tayooluwole:
PHOTO: Dilemma, This Is My Girlfriend's Christmas Gift For Me...

I have never been this confused in my life. I started dating my girl like 3 months ago. This is a girl that is committed to Gods things and firmly stands on christian value and principle in her dealings all around.

Shortly along the line of our relationship, she revealed to me that she is a virgin which I doubted until she allowed me to verify like I was taken child delivery for her. She is 24 years old, her dad is a deeper life pastor and a solder at the same time.

Funny enough, her dress does not suggest that she has anything at all to do with deeper life, though she doesn't wear trousers and doesn't put on hair rings. But in all of these, her look still doesn't bear semblance with a typical religious person.

She asked me if I can wait until marriage in terms of sex because she is not ready to give up her virginity for anything at all until official solemnisation, firstly because she doesn't want to disappoint her dad and secondly, because she doesn't want to betray her Christian value and believe. I was so happy to have a woman of such rarely found quality in my life and never thought it twice before striking a relationship deal of no sex with her.

All was going fine. Once in a while we passionately kissed when such opportunity presents it self. While doing this, I sometimes got carried away by stretching my hands towards the location of NO GO AREA clearly defined in the preagreement terms of our relationship. But her determination in protecting that area is second to none.

Honestly, I fell in love with this girl and even the scar of satisfying her is still visible on my body. I did all I could to make her persistently happy.

To cut it short, just this morning, she sent me a breakup message. It was unbelievable and came as a shock because breakup message is what I least expected from her at this nascent stage of our relationship.

Meanwhile, just yesternight which is barely 12 hours ago, we had a good conversation on WhatsApp like we used to have, in which she was asking me about my day, what I ate, my activities for that day and all that. The conversation was so mutual and ran smooth that it didn't suggest any hostility or preconceived plan of breaking up.

Since I saw the message, I have been muttering to my self about what could actually be the real reasons for such spontaneous decision. Though when I pressured her about the real reasons for this action, she told me that a guy broke her heart in 2017, and since that time she has been finding it difficult to love.

Pls how can I handle this situation ? I love this girl genuinely and at the same time, at this stage of my life, I don't want to waste anytime by making repetitive appeal and persuasion in hope that probably she is gonna change her mind...

It's typical of individuals below the age of 25 years to be unstable regarding their personality, life ambitions and character. This is the period at which they are adventurous and discover their potential. Hence, individuals below 25 years are usually adviced to focus on self development and career.

In summary, young man you are the one who set yourself up for disappointment.

Mrsprissy:
Good evening my brothers and sisters in the house. First , I am not a troll . I've been a member on NL since 2008 and am very active, but I prefer using a new account for my story to seek advice and also learn from other experienced people in this great group.

On christmas day hubby and I were invited to attend a special dinner at his friend's house and I picked a nice outfit for him to wear on the day, he wore another outfit, a t shirt and jeans his every day clothes so I asked him politely to go and change, he got angry at me and told me to keep quiet and he went inside.

He was in our room for an hour while the kids and I were still waiting for him, I even sent the kids in their room to play, he later came out he only changed his top but didn't changed the trousers and trainers. I had decided not to say anything for peace to reign, so as we were leaving, I asked him if we could take a family picture, he just snapped and slapped me and started beating me up so badly, he only stopped because my children were screaming and crying for him to stop.

I am so pained because before the incident happened, we were fine, no quarrel at all, I just don't understand his reasons for beating me like this and I swear to God, I didn't say something to make him this angry, he left me there and went out, his friend later called to know if we were still coming because he couldn't reach hubby on the phone, I told him we are coming.

I cleaned myself, changed my clothes and I left with the kids to his friend's house, to my surprise he was already there, we acted like everything was normal and I tried hard to stop tears coming because I was in pained.

For the past 3 days he has been acting as if I did wronged him, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't eat my foods and he left the room and he is now sleeping in our son's room. I just don't know what to do again

I presume that your version of the story is true and that you didn't leave out some important details, the following are my suspicion;

1. There's something (which might be unrelated to the particular incident) your husband is holding against you, which he has not let out. Maybe an unconfirmed rumour from a 3rd party, something you said that hurts his ego or pride or something you did secretly that you thought he's not aware, meanwhile he's ashamed or lacks the maturity to confront you with it. My advice is that you carefully choose when he's in a good mood and discuss it with him.

2. Maybe you are the type of woman with razor sharp mouth, and perhaps there's something you said that really hurts his pride, e.g., comparing him to another man (even his friend you guys are paying a visit), because you demanded something that he's not able to provide, which is a common scenario in Nigerian homes in the festive periods.

Nevertheless, I condemn his actions.

healthserve:
Patiently remember and list the unresolved issues not matter how little you both had before this incidence.. Except your husband likes to beat you for fun, this doesn't make any sense atall. Not in the slightest

I like this approach. In addition, I suspect there's something she might have done secretly, thinking that her husband is not aware, but he refused to confront her. Hence, he's taking the frustration on her.

Mopolchi:
Agbani no fine aswear. How she take win? Efcc needs to investigate the fraud that made her win the award.

It's not only about curves, boobs or asses. It's about class, grace, intelligence and how a lady conducts herself.

Myhusband:
if you're my sister ehn! I will force you do igbele for 7days in cele to rebrand and reinstate your lost self esteem


you lack self esteem, self value, inferior for another gender, knowledge About love and self respect


you've no right to be making a lead in a relationship in the first place

secondly you've no right to be accusing or monitoring a guy that's not committed to you, the guy made it clear that he doesn't want something serious, so why monitor him

thirdly, you might continue being a victim of exploitation if you don't work on your value. I'm sure you're kind of people that want tall, handsome man, his feeling towards you doesn't matter


in conclusion, apologising is unnecessary as he was never in a relationship with you and him blocking you means he thrash and rubbish you, so leave him and move on

Coming from a fellow male, Op I suggest you take this advice.

Kampack:
Your pix for what purpose exactly?
He will soon request for your nude, and I'm sure your types will oblige

You just posted what I was about to type.

armyofone:
There was this old horror movie i watched but can't remember the name or when it was released.
It was about a flying butterfly- like bug that attached to victims skin, killed them by sucking their blood - any idea of the name ?

Ticks. The movie was made in the 90s

Abduletudaye:
Ive watched all manner of horror movies...i just love ermm!

The purge, jeepers creepers(stale), World War Z..ive forgotten most sef but i just love watching it.

The ones with PURE EVIL are so on point!!

The ones with cannibals take me to the brink!

Im trying to remember this movie that had three women who got lost in a mountain and one of them had to adapt with the underground creatures behaviour .

Horror Movies rock jorh..

The Descent?

1. Mama
2. The Exorcism of Emily Rose
3. IT
4. Wrong Turn
5. The Hills have Eyes
6. The Evil Dead
7. Silent Hills
8. Hell Raiser
9. Child's Play
10. The Human Centipede
11. Saw
12. Lights out
13. Dawn of the Dead
14. Texas Chainsaw Massacre
15. The Hatchet
16. The Ring
17. The Descent
18. Dracula (2017)
19. Nightmare on Helm Street
20. Halloween (especially part 1)
21. Jeepers Creepers
23. Candy man
24. Sleepy Hollow
25. Drag Me to Hell
26. Knuckle bones

Harlequeen:
I opened this account because my main one is pretty popular.

I've had this issue and don't know what's wrong.
I can't seem to get into a new relationship. I am now 25, about serving, working a normal job

My dating history is not too rich. I dated just one guy for 2 years, i became sexually active with him, we enjoyed each other, but things didn't work out. I tried to be better, have moved on, and he has too. This was mid last year. I have been celibate since then not because i don't like sex, but because i had time to think, i read a lot of books, listened to a lot of relationship counselors on YouTube, reddit, Nairaland and so on. I decided to approach dating differently, with my head and not my heart . i would vet men out who were not in line with some basic standards, to avoid fuckboys and meet high quality men. He should be well spoken, either with a career or into trade, accomplished, way older by at least 10 yrs(no i don't have daddy issues, i just like mature guys because i think like a mature person) he could also have plans to leave the country, because i plan to do that also.


Here's the issue, the men that express interest in me do not fit this criteria. They seem to have no plan for their lives. I get this impression that they are broke, they recycle the same lines all the time, i usually see their bull sh1t tactics a mile away. some are in the army(i can't date men in the armed forces, they lifestyle is not what i want for myself, cannot date doctors either for the same reason)others are artisans, some are plain hustlers who just do whatever to eat. I have a soft spot for ambitious men, and i have not seen a lot in the area that i am in. I have been advised by my friends to try highbrow areas like lekki or VI or go to church, but i don't believe in religion.

But whenever i see these men, i am not attracted to them. I have even tried online dating with some male nairalanders, but i get disinterested easily. I get turned off when someone asks for my normal pics, it is quite frustrating. There's that fear that some of these men could use my pics to masturbate or one other creepy purpose. I block them if they ask for nudes. But the issue is, it is quite exhausting to keep chatting with someone without seeing them in person and some of these guys just want to smash and run which i won't allow. No man will have access to my vagina and womb without investment and commitment. Eventually it becomes hard to keep up communication and we just fizzle out like that.

I am not under pressure to marry from my parents, infact my dad says he won't allow his daughters marry until they clock 28 and i am the first. He wants us to have a career and a life before moving with a man. I just want to know if what i am doing is right?

To be honest, i just want some words of advice and encouragement, you can ask me questions if you want. This approach of mine? Is it the right thing? Am i being too smart for my own good? Am i afraid of commitment?

Your requirements/standards are good, but you also need to look beyond physical attractiveness. The desired spirit do not often come with the desired vessel.

Shashar:
when you get to that point where you have no need to Impress anybody,your freedom have begin

May you get to that point in Jesus' name.

iAudio:
Deuteronomy 28:57-59 New King James Version (NKJV)

Do not misquote the scripture, the scripture your just quoted is not relevant to the topic. For further clarification, read the new English translation.

Pafoma:
Guys! I need serious, real and honest contributions.. Thanks to all that will contribute.

I have a lady whom i am dating. I truly love and care about her but she has been with people that are in my circle and this disturbs me. She didnt used to be a straightforward and totally faithful person but i see that she is making efforts towards being completely honest and straightforward but still i dont have rest in my spirit about taking the decision to marry her.

I have observed she is soft with guys and is not firm, although i am aware it takes time for someone used to a particular pattern or lifestyle to adjus. I need help because breaking up with this lady will mean that i have to look for someone else to start the entire circle with again and who knows what if the new one also comes with even worse baggages.

My questions are these

1. What do you advice i do?
2. Who has been in similar situation where you fell in love with a lady your friends and circle have been with then married her? What was the experience like including things to look out for..
3. How can be sure i wont regret the decision to go forward?

Please feel free to ask me any question and i’ll answer if they are not sarcastic or jokes..

Thank you.

1. Trust and love are 2 different things; the fact that you love someone does not necessarily mean you trust that person. Trust is one of the key things in a relationship, if you feel she can't be trusted, then, you should leave her. Else, the issue of trust will later come up to destroy your home when you eventually get married to her.

2. Not all people who cheat on their partner, do so because they intentionally want to, some are due to lack of self discipline. If you think she lacks self discipline, then this issue will come up when you guys get married, because we can't rule out the fact that she would come across other men (that would make advances at her) whether in her place of work, a neighbour while you are away on a biz trip, e.t.c.

3. Nobody is perfect, but you need to be objective in making your decisions, in order to avoid a lifetime of regrets. Perhaps, you should test her, to see if she has truly changed.

Computer literacy is also important.

youngprofdguru:
Why not go for Jose?

Mourinho's philosophy is different from Arsenal FC's philosophy.

These are the kind of people that should be celebrated!

Ellatee256:
Hi everyone,
I'm 23 yrs and currently running my HND program.
I have a bf and we have been dating for almost a year.

We do almost everything together and we see each other every single day...
But now am irritated by him.

He comes to my hostel from his office everyday but now seeing him irritates me the more.
I just want a break but I don't want to hurt him.
This isn't the first time its happening to me,
I've had two boyfriends before I met my new bf and same thing happened with them.

Its just like I meet a guy I like..,we love each other and I get excited and then few months later I get irritated by them....

I told my elder sis about it and she dragged me to church saying I have spiritual problems but that's not the issue....

Sometimes I just want my time alone but my bf doesn't seem to understand that.
Have tried to ignore him and all but he doesn't get the message am passing........
He wants me to meet his mum but have been giving him excuses....

I don't know why I feel like this with only the guys I date cuz I don't feel that way with my friends and family in fact I want to be with them everyday but its different in my relationships...
I want to end things with my boyfriend without hurting him cuz I can't keep acting and I can't keep wasting his time.

I think I have a problem and I don't know what to do.
I don't want this to affect me when I get married cuz there won't be a break in marriage...
Pls kindly advice
Thanks

From your post, I suspect that you are a physically attractive person, with too many attention from the opposite sex, hence you feel choked.
My sincere advice for you (because, I have sisters too) is that, while you are enjoying these attention, look out for things that matter in life e.g., those who truly love you, amongst your numerous admirers (whether male or female), can you reciprocate the love given (even in the absence of material things).

Because one thing is certain, the options (too many admirers) will reduce with time (as you age).
Also, knowing/understanding what you want early in life, is one of the keys to a happy life.

Ifemide123:
I had to create this account today for this. It's really eating me up and I am tired.
I am 24, will be 25 soon. I am this indoor person and so I hardly meet people. My first relationship ended like two years back and I haven't been in a reasonable one since then.
I meet people online cos I don't get to meet them offline, most of the guys I meet are based in different state from mine and they don't mind me visiting, but once I tell them I live with my parents and would need their permission to come visit, they just stop getting in touch. I have lost over 5 potential partners because of this, they all feel we should be comfortable with ourselves first before putting parents matter into it. Some don't see it as a big deal living with my parents, they just find it funny that they wouldn't allow me go visit my boyfriend(note that they wouldn't know him bfr I go visit)
I can't even think logically anymore that's why I am here to ask Wether the problem is with me or them. The only one I met that has travelled to come visit me is verbally abusive. He met my mum and wants things done the proper way.
I am really exhausted. I guess gone are those days where you have to meet your potential wife in her father's house.
I told my mum I want to start attending youth church and she object to it saying I can only change church after I get married.
My sisters are lucky tho, they got a job outside our state and moved out of the house

Do not forget to look at the bright side of your situation; the fact that you are still been supervised by your parent, shows that you are well brought up and not from a broken home. Any man you meet online, who does not want to visit you at your parent's house does not have good intention (perhaps, he's the hit-and-run type).

It's left to you to make your parent understand, that sooner or later, you are going to get married, so they should allow you to entertain male visitors, else you would do it secretly, outside their home.

onlinetomola:
I am dating one and I love her... Nothing is wrong with that.

It is easy to date a woman, to marry her is the main thing. Do you hope to marry her?

pansophist:
My young bro, take heart. The sad truth is, she has found someone better, and you should accept it even if you do not feature in the picture. It's about emotional maturity and letting this just be.

Your next step is to give yourself time, as time has a way of healing things. You'll pass through it, and you'll like yourself better after this. I experienced something you passed through when I was 18, and felt even worse than you, but I was naive, innocent, and didnt understood the timeless truth of female nature, keeping attraction, and stimulating the relationship sustainably. Looking back those times, I could see clearly the mistake I made, and I've refined myself to a point that such could not happen again. And in the unlikely scenario that it does, well, a replacement is around the corner. You should do the same.

It seems to me that your relationship with her is your job, you specialized in loving her and treating her as the best thing, while ignoring your own personal growth. Listen attentively, women DO NOT want to be your goal. They want to be part/beneficiary of it, not the goal. You treated her nice and gave her everything to the best of your ability and probably didn't focus on your growth, and compete with other men in the free world.

You were too available, making you appear as someone with female scarcity, with no option and not a real catch. Also, pursuing her even after her formal declaration for relationship withdrawal is something that men with no options do. You cannot beg a woman into a relationship with you, it's an instant attraction killer. You attract and keep her with the lifestyle you've built for yourself, and the man you've developed yourself to be.

Remember the biblical story of when God told Adam (after eating the forbidden fruit from Eve), that henceforth he would toil the ground for food and survival, and cursed Eve that she will suffer doing child birth? The true meaning of this story is that as a man, you have to be out there hustling, pursuing your goal and fulfilling your dreams, as no woman want to be for a man that is not out there toiling the ground.

She dont want to cry during child birth for man with no purpose, and be amother to his kids. Whether you believe in this story or not, you may comb any other religion, culture, science, and just observe the world around you, you would see that your value as a man is by being resourceful. Women are made, men are born. You see where a woman automatically becomes a first lady or a queen just because her husband is a president or a king? But it doesn't work in the opposite direction, there is no first firstman for the husband of a female president. You should know that women are rewarded for being women, all she has to do is look beautiful, and men and society will reward her. For a man, you must build yourself to be rewarded by women and society.

You're almost depressed (that's if you're not), because you are not pursuing things in the real world that would make her wonder why you do not call her always, that even if she breaks up with you, you're too busy achieving and breaking through to even feel an inch of her jilting you. She is at a stage of her life with male abundance, she wont do anything special and men will find her attracted and seek her commitment. All she has to do is sit back and choose, and if she left you for someone else, it means the other guys playing their game better. Loving her is not playing, buying her gift is not playing, but to play, you must develop yourself to be a good catch. That your presence is enough for her to find you attractive. Any man can save, spend and impress, but not every man is a top dog.

That even if she breaks up with you, in the back of mind, she knows there are younger and far beautiful women out there waiting to take her place, and will question herself if she can get a man in the same calibre as you. Do you think Davido will be worried if Chioma decides to leave him? Davido will laugh at her because he knows that she will be dead lucky to meet a man in his status, and she knows this as well. In every relationship, many young boys are clouded with feelings and love without understanding the power dynamics that is ever present and playing in the background.

I hope you get well, but remember this, you will never loose women chasing money (interpret it as goals, achievements, purpose etc), but you'll always loose money chasing women. Men compete with other men for success, women compete with other women for successful men. If you do not have women competing for your commitment, then you've either not reached there yet, or you're doing it wrong.

Goodluck young blood.

God bless you sir.

justine94:
My Gf of Almost 3 years, her Ex still calls her anytime he likes even though not Frequently, she once told me she felt bad about him that he did nothing to her, she so much believe him to an extent he calls her to tell her things that he Dreamt about her life.

She says most of his Dreams comes to Past while they were Dating then. When she went back to school, she told me he called her to come see him but she declined.

I know she loves me very much, she has proven it to me beyond any reasonable doubt but she still has a Soft Spots for her Ex.

Its making us have issues most times. Of recent i saw a dialled log of her ex on her phone. She said she wanted to check on him. It weakened me alot.

But she said it was nothing, even though the ex is actually helping her kid bro for his admission. She claims she only called to tell him that the brother has written his PUME exams...

When i look at her, I have this feeling she still have a soft spot for her ex..i told her can she see her ex call and not pick it up, she could not ansa. I asked her if she still loves him, she could not ansa, she only tell me she cant go back to him, that she loves me..

I know she won't go back to him, but i know this to be sure she still have a Soft spots for her ex..and her ex knows this very well, so he calls her anytime he likes knowing fully well he knows how to talk to her for her to listen.

Anything he tells her she believes him, notwithstanding, anytime he calls her ,she tells me that he called her, am just confused.. I have already told her i cant continue again becuase i cant continue to hurt my self....

Please i need advice

Op, you have a right to be worried, we are talking about an ex-boyfriend here, not just some random male friend.

Most people, who stay committed in a relationship, do so, not because, they thought they would never find someone better, but because, they have the conviction in their heart, that the one they r with is the one for them. The fact the she's keeping in touch with her ex shows, she has doubts about you (for reasons best known to her). Perhaps, there r few things I think you should consider;

1. Reason for her breakup with her ex: Is it something that's irreparable (e.g, incompatible genotype), or something trivial (e.g, a quarrel due to ego).

2. Your intentions: what is your main intention towards her, do you intend to marry her, or just playing around (perhaps, that's the reason she has doubts about you, hence she's playing safe by keeping in touch with her ex). Only you can answer this question, but you need to be sincere with yourself.

3. Is her ex currently dating anyone: this question tells tells a lot about his genuine willingness to move on, or perhaps, if he's trying to move on.

My advice:
1. Let her know that you have doubts about her (for the sole reason that she's keeping in touch with her ex). You don't need to quarrel with her over this, else she will do it behind your back.

2. Prepare your mind for a breakup. In any relationship, there will always be disagreement, one day she might run to that ex for consolation, thereby making her vulnerable.

3. Be patient.

Dpharisee:
Its called Penis captivus or Vaginal Captivus depending on whose organ enlarged during coitus.
But the reality is that it doesnt happen between husband and wife, always happening between people who steal the sex

Here is experts review of the causes

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tG1-lnmH89E

I was about typing this, but then you have done justice to it. I have never heard or read of where it happened between married couples.

This is what happens when a Judas meets a Jezebel. Op, you are a very bad and disloyal friend.

Lesson: people should watch the friends they keep, keeping numerous friends is not profitable, it would be difficult to quickly identify a bad one.

Madness is a universal sickness

As if I knew, Kante will be in that list. That dude is humble.

donziggyman:
Wow what brand of weed do you smoke? I need give award to the supplier of your weed.

The devil himself must be the supplier of that weed, 'cos it's very strong.

If it were the other way round, the world would be screaming sexual harassment. The story of the boxer who kissed a female reporter comes to mind