₦airaland Forum

These babies like selecting clothes, not that they even have sense of fashion yet. That's the only one I tend to permit.

As for the others you should know what to do.

[quote author=ObaKlaz post=104216047][/quote]

Females' insistence on gender equality while avoiding equal responsibility is what I've been harping on. How else do I break it down to you?!

I did get your drift.

I don't see how different this is from what I posted, what you are saying is still 'Its the fault of the females we are not providing solely, they cant insist on gender equality and avoid equal responsibility' The females are taking the blame.

And what is your question again, in very clear terms?!

You mentioned equal responsibility across board severally and I will ask directly now If both spouses provide do you agree both spouses should do the caregiving.

Yes or No answer pls.

ObaKlaz:
Asides direct mentions from you, I have not read any of your comments here. In fact, you jumped into a mention from me to that Roscol moniker. You weren't in the convo originally, to begin with!

Is that supposed to be an issue?

Well I did make one comment not about the topic but the posts.

ObaKlaz:
For the new generation males, incapability IS NOT EXACTLY the main factor stiffling 'em from being sole providers. The stand now is that, since females have changed the script, then we might as well raise the stakes by [b]demanding equal responsibility [/b]across board. It's as plain as that.

So the Females are to blame for the incapability of Men to be sole providers really?


Its actually okay to admit economic realities of our dear country is preventing men from being sole providers, at least we all know this.

You didn't answer my question in the other quote and you have raised the matter here again, at least you have admitted that both care -giving and providing responsibilities should be shared across board- sounds fair enough.

Munzy14:
First to your question, a good woman...Igbos call it Ezinwaanyi....

It takes a good woman to change a man...

Financially productive is one thing, doing it under a condition/conditions is another thing garnished with some pride and arrogance to a spouse/partner is the turn-off.

The both ways you talking about is funny if you agree it is both ways...
The moment a man achieves financial comfort, his heart began to search for love and to start a family with all humility and responsibility...Regarding challenges...
Note: This is for most men not all..

Same can't be said for most women..Their is this pride and arrogance in a way.

This is reality and from experience..

Normally guys do date such women, but the moment it narrows down to marriage, they will collect usain bolt..

A family friend wanted to marry a lady...actually a magistrate...Hehehehe his father said over his dead body will he allow his son marry fire...Only God knows what they went through in her hands for the man to make such statement..
Even with her status, currently she heads a major arm of government in a state...Yet that marriage never happened.

In fact, the dude married a cool headed chic and zoomed off the state...enjoying marital bliss.

This life wether virgin or not....Just be a good woman as the woman you are.....Women arr created to run things without being in the lead..But some want to lead and run things as well under feminist... a sorry case.

So you are saying most financially stable women are proud and arrogant. So they date them and don't marry them.

And the ones wey no get money- don't have anything to bring to the table according to NLders.

Oya where is the meeting point.

The cool headed babe your guy married wasn't she making her own money?

[quote author=ObaKlaz post=104212865][/quote]Pls, pin me the posts of males here demanding that females be sole providers . What have you been reading or deducing?!



I never mentioned the males are demanding that the females be sole providers,

Let's see how the convo went.

You stated this

We are providers & should be the leaders of the home - you will all cry, "Patriarchy! Gender equality!!".

I wrote this -

Oya guys should provide and lead the home.

You answered

Na today we don dey do am?!

And I told you speak for your self .

You should say na today YOU dey do am, you can see the responses of your co-men on this thread on just providing.

So where did I say posters are asking females to be sole providers?

To make it clearer I was saying from posts on this thread seems men do not want to be Providers (sole providers) that's why I said speak for yourself. They also want the females to provide.

ObaKlaz:
' WRONG! My choice of words wasn't intended to demean or belittle their roles. Replace 'just' with 'solely' and & you'll have what I mean in its real context. It's just semantics.

Na today we don dey do am?!

Which is why responsibilities should be split! GENDER EQUALITY SHOULD TRANSLATE TO EQUAL RESPONBILITIES TOO but apparently, they have a whole lot of problems with the latter! .

How many homes are even SOLELY RUN FINANCIALLY BY FEMALES compared with the percentage of homes solely financed by the husbands?

Okay let's agree its semantics, solely sounds much more better


You should say na today YOU dey do am, you can see the responses of your co-men on this thread on just providing.

So you agree that both providing and nurturing responsibilities can/ should be spilt both sides if I am wrong you can correct me.

You would be surprised that there are quite a sizeable amount of homes run by the women only( not to the knowledge of anybody though), a large percentage run with both of the spouses effort and then the homes run by the Men alone are actually in the least category . I am talking about this present day naija.

cococandy:
They’ve never wanted to be. Why do you think all those disgusting nicknames for women who actually let them provide exist?

I honestly don't understand the problem sometimes, lots of guys think they are doing a favor for their family by providing.

ObaKlaz:
They were providers and in charge of their homes by, say 75%. But then came the generation of females like you who want men to remain providers while they whittle down his leadership of his own home yet wanting to remain just [b] 'care-givers' . [/b]
We are providers & should be the leaders of the home - you will all cry, "Patriarchy! Gender equality!!".
OK, let's share responsiblities - " Go & learn from your forefathers!
Since y'all new generation females are so confused, wanting to eat your cakes & still have it whole, then maybe y'all need to go learn for your maternal predecessors too.

But the woman's role has always been 'just caregivers' from time. I find it funny that peeps have always downplayed this role and its evident in your statement 'just caregivers'

Oya guys should provide and lead the home.

How many men can even comfortably provide for their homes? Be honest. Even from posts on this thread you have your answer, lots of them can't or won't.

Munzy14:
That your last statement is deep!..


I av noticed their is a threat of arrogance and pride when some women feel they have achieved financial stability...You will notice this when you date some professional or career ladies.


Yet, there are very comfortable ladies humble, cool and humane..with womanly care...

In all this, you just pray you meet the woman for you...Even in the long run most trusted partners can be influenced by a lot....Friends, what they read, hear or see etc..

When a man is ready to settle, e dey involve prayer o..

If not you may repeat marriage.

So what exactly do some men want? Some have been whining on this thread on how they can't provide alone , yet some are still complaining about financially stable women who can also provide.

So what exactly do they want.

Good some are now realizing the bolded and it goes both ways male and female.

Fountainofyouth:
Very lazy sets of fools, not all them though, but they are becoming the majority.

Loool this madam is vexing.

Its good to marry a working wife but this their mindset of not providing is totally not it.

rosalieene:
Social media men actually.
Those ones at Alaba market, main market or those with very busy job schedules mostly own up to their responsibilities.
Infact, those who are not social media Enthusiasts.
Social media have corrupted this ones mind.

Yeah I get the drift.

I was actually beginning to wonder if its out of place for a man to provide.

The vibes I am getting from posts on this thread is that men no longer want to be providers.

MagmaPower:
Then go and buy from Jumia bros
No sane person would buy anything over priced if there’s a similar cheaper option.
The thread has casted, it has casted
When sellers notice no body is paying attention to the ad, they’ll be forced to reduce price to a reasonable level.
All these back and forth won’t take us anywhere.
Tomorrow seller will still post the same item. So there’s no point quoting them.
I haven’t seen anything reasonable to buy, not because sellers are hiking price but because you guys keep quoting them taking up space in the thread.
And sellers, it’s not every mention you reply to.
I’m here to buy stuffs, not to state the obvious, that has been said over and over again. When there’s no solution to it.

@ bolded shout it louder

Not surprised at the no of posts indicting the mother that was no where near the incident, is it not NL again.

Nigerian Parents should ensure kids watch age appropriate movies, its not just about sexual scenes alone, it might just be an influence from some movies she's been watching.

I don't see anything incriminating the mother or sister in the video, they were just like typical Lagos lookers, an average Nigerian will stand and look a bit.


If the mother was involved she would have taken the child and walked away fast even before the fire spread to that level.

Anyway the police will not rest until they rope the mother in, even when she was no where near the girl when she carried out that terrible act.

MIKOLOWISKA:
this is his third shop burnt down fa

For real

If true then there is more than meets the eye.

Thrice is no longer a coincidence

I don't even know how to classify this one.

Maybe too much of american movies. Which kind of play is that?
A 9 year old is no longer a baby, there's something wrong the parenting

That material was highly flammable, did she get the lighter from the rack?

But the CCTV was installed to detect thieves so who was supposed to be monitoring it, the damage would have been minimal if detected on time, Someone was not doing his/her job

Nawa oooo.

Chai which kain gbese is is this for this kain economy.

And the police with their unprofessionalism and brutality again, shey they want to beat her up?

gadgetplanetng:
No matter how ridiculous your price is, someone would make you a more ridiculous offer.

I posted a brand new 18k wristwatch for 13,500 & someone was asking me to take 5k. Do we call them out too?

Sold it for 10k to someone else.

If you want to buy make an offer, the seller might be in a good mood.

Policing prices on items you don't need or can't afford is really bad, unprofitable and unproductive use of 24 hrs especially as it would make no difference.

At least I am not the only one feeling this way.

Its so simple
You can decide not to buy of the price is too high
You can also decide not to sell if the amount being offered is too low.

081087n:
Oga it's just you having that feeling, no one is helping anyone determine the price they place on their goods

Atleast not when market price is 80k and one person comes her and place his/hers 95k , when it's been clearly stated thatwits clearance sales...

You talk like someone who would hike Price of a product, y defending that offensive act?
The pplwinsont have their time yet is those ones coming here to sell laptops and PS4 which is even more expensive to computer village Price...at first I love this thread but along the line I discovered I could get things way cheaper at a store whereby if I have an issue I can return it and get a replacement

But you see many ppl here their mind is just like buhari, what I don't know again is if they didn't go to school to understand clearance sales or they went to school and it was a waste of fees, I think they will need a refund from the sch they went too. Coswtgey have wasted money o


Pls you too don't support bad thing no one is helping a seller decide their prices, imagine those who have been fairwno one called them out...
Even the person trying to sell iphone 7plus at 95k is very cheap that clearance cos it's even256gb market price for that phone is around 125k..
So we should all know what we are doing

Not an Oga I am a madam

Really @ bolded so what's the price policing up about.

I am not even a seller though I posted to sell once on behalf of someone and she never even got a phone call . I got a lot of good stuff from here after negotiating .

My point still remains a seller reserves the right to post whatever amount he/she feels like selling, its my duty as the buyer to make my investigations, negotiate or waka pass and get it 'cheaper at the store'
If you feel that's supporting bad thing to you sorry about that.

The talking and talking won't stop people from posting whatever price they feel like posting so what exactly is the point.

Jokesnice:
I have nothing against those IG declutters bcus they serve a purpose. As we don't have pawn shops in Nigeria, they serve as the go-to guys for people or rich folks who want to get rid of their unwanted property without doing it themselves. Clearly the buyers knows that they are dealing with middlemens.

Nairaland clearance section on the other hand is supposed to be better in the sense it that it brings buyer's and sellers directly into close contact. Here, most times u are buying directly from the seller and not from middlemen. Although some prices are very fair I must say, others are becoming ridiculous. A case in point is that guy that advertised an old, almost burnt generator for 135k and he was called out for it. Makes me wonder what he was thinking or if it was a typo but his silence suggests he clearly knows what is was doing.

Honestly, I have bought some good stuffs for good prices here and I continue to look forward to those kind of deals. So let's continue to call out those guys who price their goods way above the market price.

Lool@ continue to call out, they have been calling out people for at least 2-3 years now to what end- just unnecessary back and forth.

Different price policing peeps have come and gone over time on this same thread at the end they all got tired

There's a simple solution to all these that people still don't want to accept.

No one can't determine how much a seller places on his product (clearance sales or not,)he/she has that right, if I as a buyer feel its too much I negotiate and if the final price is not okay by me I waka pass.

As someone that have bought several things from this thread I actually find it amusing that people try to determine how much others should try to sell their product, I really can't understand that thought process. Maybe its just me.

driand:


My tenants are paying 250 for 3 bedroom flat(most of them pay installmentally) , in Ojo and them dey vex say I Wan increase rent,

Please I'm not based in Lagos, I need advice and a capable hand to help me run my property well in Ojo, ilufe to be precise, just behind Alaba international market...

How much are you increasing it to?

Besides don't follow the OPs price, the cheapest 3bedroom in Ojo LGA is not 430k.

Brand new house 3 bedroom with prepaid meter painted, all amenities provided in iyanaera side of Ojo is around 400k total package 550.

3 bedroom ranges from 250k- 400k or 500k (yet to see one of 500k sha) max depending on facilities.

Room and parlor self contain ranges from 120-170k depending on facilities.

A room self contain - saw one for 150k peeps were saying it was too expensive

2 bedroom range from 200-300k too

Areas I call ojo are OKOKO, ajangbadi, Ishasi church Igboelerin ,Afromedia, Iyanaera, Ilogbo, abulle, shibiri, etegbin down to alaba international ,Ketu , Ayetoro , Ijanikin



Alaba side is still an okay area

Old houses are still cheaper, though prices are now on the increase due to cost of living.

Hmmm this your question is hard too

Things are annoyingly expensive

Hope there's no baby among the four, if there is then more expenses, pampers and baby milk

Definitely not 40k sha.
Just -Garri
Palmoil
Rice
Beans
Semovita
Vegetable oil
For the month will take around 20k if not more.

God will help us in this country.

Sterope:
Rules are not rules where they are unfair, they deserve to be broken and binned!

I hear you

Sterope:
You are very presumptious to think some of us won't drag nursing school.

Does the dragging change the rules? No

That exactly is my point, rules are rules in any organization as long as you are informed before hand. Is the nursing school rule fair- of course not but its their standard.

Eze2000:
Your write up is somewhat long but I read every word of it cos I'm an avid reader and an author. Reading and writing is my life.
I'm also something else too...a chosen. Yes, I have the calling which I have been running from for so long. I hope to answer it this year or next, God willing.

Listen and I'll speak to your from experience and as one older than you.

1. You are very selfish.
2. You are destroying your life with your own hands.

Do you see your write up? See how many times you mention stuff like 'my life, 'my calling', 'my education', 'my work'. If I may ask, what about the life of the girl you impregnated and that of the child she carries? You are a poor church rat at the moment, do you even think marry you is her dream?

My brother, you are too selfish to go far in the business of God's work.
If it's God that really called you and not hardship or a desire to start a gold mine of a church of your own then trust me when I say that if you ruin that girl's life if will be like a dark shadow over your through out your selfish life. It will limit your glory and restrict God's blessings for you.

You have been very wicked to that girl.

Come to think of it, did it ever occur to you that you could marry that girl and leave her in her father's house till you are financially stable? Perhaps it's the catholic church you wanna join where priests do not marry, hence, marriage scares you so much that you prefer to ruin you life instead.

As a man of God by calling you will always find money-making and things in general very hard until you answer that calling. I should know.
Go and marry that girl then leave her with her parents and take your marriage certificate to your old school and finish your studies. They did give you marriage as a condition to continue right? And here you are running so fast from the solution?

I really feel like giving you a good beating not just to reset you brian but to level up the scores because it looks to me that the girl was seriously cheated in this matter.


Pls Note
All those giving you the advice of not marrying the girl because her parents are trying to force you to do the right thing don't understand Igbo tradition. It's a terrible thing for a girl child to get pregnant in her father's house. It attracts great shame and in some cases can be taboo. All those Igbo based Nollywood movies where the father drives the daughter out of the house for getting pregnant out of wedlock is based on real-life stories... Igbo tradition, which is very stong in Imo state *(my state).

That's girl's parents are desperate to save themselves and their daughter a lot of shame. That they still keep her with them shows great love.

Cheers!

@bolded don't mind him, nonsense
Let him go and correct the wrong shikena.

jwax:
It's a terrible situation and I can understand the shame and remorse that comes with issues like this but don't give up on your calling. Sometimes we go through the fire to learn and come out refined.

You have tasted sin and have seen the consequences of it. When God restores you, I believe you will be in a better position to resist when such temptation comes again.

For your child, it will be a grave mistake to abandon him/her because you sound like a responsible man so abandoning the child will haunt you alot.

Secondly, I know you haven't been thinking right but I will advise you to overlook whatever that family is saying and go-to that village with an elderly person before your baby mama puts to bed. One thing about igbos is that if you fail to do something On the mother, you will never claim your child.

That little money you have, send it to the mother quickly before she puts to bed to show that you care and also quickly make preparations to go visit her before she delivers as both of you have emotions flying here and there and not thinking straight over phone talk. Marriage is not an option now but you must go see them and explain your plight personally for them to understand...


The girl's family have shown to be unreasonable so I must warn you to be very careful and calculative. Is she a baby? Why the rape allegation and threats with police? They seem to be a troublesome family and that could be a red flag.

Lastly, your calling is still very valid... I fault these business centres calling themselves churches for treating erring members so badly. Even people of the world have forgiving hearts more than these so called churches.

Keep fellowship with God and keep the fire burning... Gather money and build on your skills.

When all these is over you will have a strong line of message and use the experience to know how to handle youthful exuberance among youths in your ministry.

Maybe your calling is geared towards youths and the dangers of youthful exuberance/fornication.... You are being prepared to be a pastor for the youths. This experience is paving way for you to understand your purpose as a minister.

Quench not the spirit.... Selah

Please don't blame the church/ theological school. What do you mean by forgiveness, every sin has a consequence even after you have been forgiven.You think he has not asked for forgiveness from God already?

There are rules which he was fully aware and he also knew about the consequences and they have told him the only way they would take him back is if he does the honorable thing, so you want the church to take him back just like that without trying to correct the error? You forget that the girl too was also a student.

There are actions and there are consequences for every action- his lack of discipline and self control brought him here, he has to pay the price, the lady is paying her own price too.

Don't blame the church, blame the guy and girl.

If the girl was in a nursing school (where everybody knows you can't carry pregnancy) would you blame the school, when it comes to church matter you want their standards to bend, its not possible , what example are you setting for others. 2 students of the same seminary college.

mariahAngel:
As in!

It’s not like there’s pressure or anything to be ashamed of, since everyone knows the situation of the country.

I don't even understand the craving for the move out move out I see except your place of work is quite far from home I don't see the reason.

There are people who started building their houses before they left their parents place.

Now that he is still single and not yet married he can invest a sizeable amount of his income,increase the income etc all he will do is drop allowance at home shikena.

His reason is event because of relationship? Shey the girl can't visit him in their parlor ni

He earns under 100k and he is looking for an apartment when he already has a roof over his head its not even as if he wants to marry which might necessitate the move.

All he should be thinking is how to increase the income /investment if you ask me.

NAWA for all these threads today sha.

So so story about sex and belle, must you guys have sex .

You slept with a virgin without condom plenty times in a day , you withdrew she's now pregnant and you're surprised ?

She tells you you are the only guy that has slept with her, you say you are confused.

The point is if you have not been a worker or mingled with some of the hierachy in a church you might not understand some of these things.

What happens in churches nowadays the GOs are not even aware of a fraction of what their workers do.

Things are happening, best is to serve you God give what you want to give to God and 'Comot your eye'. God will judge everybody.

Romanoff:
Wahala be like POS business, e dey every junction.

Una dey knack for theology school, una no even fear.

The devil is very smart, he just arrnged temptation keep for you for where your journey start, lack of self control didn't allow you see the Potiphar's wife sent to destroy your life.

Worse is while you have hope of going back to the school, she was expelled and now has a baby on the way.

It couldn't have cost you anything to take one or two of your uncles to go see her parents, explain to them that you don't have a job that you're doing now and can't support but they should provide you with a basic list for traditional rites so you can save towards it.

If they are reasonable parents with a daughter who is pregnant out of wedlock, they'd be lenient with the list.

This isn't going to be easy as a job is hard to come by and learning a skill will cost you and mean you can't even earn to support her or the baby.

For those who will stumble on this, if you know your calling or purpose on this earth, flee from sexual sin. Nothing destroys destiny like it.

Solid points

The guy should go and pay dowry joor (strangely thats not one of his options) theological school will accept him back after he marries and he will continue his training shikena.

she is also paying a great ( if not greater ) price -expulsion and unwanted pregnancy at least he was just suspended.

I don't blame the parents for saying its marriage or nothing. He should do the needful.