₦airaland Forum

It seems there's a target against virginity on NL these days.

If not I don't know why the OP will link virginity with infection.

Any body can get an infection virgin or not and a lot of times in females it can go unnoticed for a long time.

crackhaus:
The only issue I have here is you dating her for over 8years before figuring all of this out.

Please tell us, what's the real issue?


And yes, your mom does have a point... But still, why wait 8years?

And yes, they can still return the bride-price. People get divorced after many years of marriage, so yours should be less stressful... But still, why wait 8years?

That's the ultimate question, why wait 8 years to realize she's poor, first girl and has plenty siblings.

I find it discomforting when people talk about calling of wedding after bride price has been paid, is bride pricr payment not marriage rite. You are married already uncle.

That said, she never pretended or portrayed another thing to you. You and your family know how they are , you knew for 8 years now after paying bride price you are speaking grammer fear God nau, you think some other suitors wouldn't have come around those 8 years?

You didn't make a decision all this time, its after you have married her traditionally you and your people are realizing she doesn't have a degree and that they are poor.

Being poor is not a crime please.

Anyway you are married already, find a way yo manage your in-laws and your people. God be with you.

I was once chief bridesmaid for a friend who attends C and S, none of us wore shoes inside the church, we removed it just before coming in and I held mine and the brides in a carrier bag , we wore pop socks under our gowns so as not to step on bare floor and I tied a veil because my friend said fascinator won't cover my hair well

Why didn't I say we wear shoes in my church I must wear shoes inside.

The guy should know better that it is frowned at in churches, my church would have given you dress code for your chiefbridesmaid and best man, a train is not compulsory but if you will have one they must follow the code, you break it you leave to correct it and come back in simple.

All these unnecessary nonsense that people do, obey the rules simple.

cococandy:
Millionaires everywhere

They didn’t consider that it’s possible OP and his wife used most or all of their savings for that project.

They should just cough up millions and start building again. Lol

As in ehn, the mata just taya me, not everyone can even build a house in 6months - 1 year. Its little by little for most Nigerians.

Newboss:
Mumu man.

Na parents dey handle house matter for you. Una no dey learn. Don't do business with friends and famil It will end in tears.

The house don turn family house now. Mumu

Always ends in premium tears, premium tears.

Acidosis:
Aha you already know ! But I think the wife should be compensated even if they agree on getting another property. Women think deep. I bet she's currently thinking about the future and how to secure her kids' future.

Times are quite hard and I believe e reach abroad too and I can't even imagine how the wife will be feeling, can the husband even afford to give the wife her own share if she asks for it?

We don't even know their circumstances there are people that struggle through labour sweat and pain to build house some it is all their tiny savings over the years, they build little by little.

Its not a situation I wish anyone to be, his parents don't regard him and his wife at all.

Its not like they lack shelter, the rent is being paid and they were given money for renewal so what exactly is the problem. I still don't gerrit.

Acidosis:
Quite insensitive. The wife deserves a fair compensation sha cos that building is gone gone. The house will officially become the husband's family house.

it is gone as in gone, its a family house already. They should both forget about it and plan on getting another property somewhere else.

Husband siblings will so drag that property with them ehn.

This is the one reason why some women will NEVER pool funds with their husbands, some women would never do it. Some women would have the funds but watch you struggle and hustle and they won't flinch instead of helping you out they would rather build their own empire personally.



Now let's even remove the wife from the equation and assume the man spent every kobo, is it fair for the parents to move into the place after they were told NO and given money to rent another apartment? They don't even respect their own son at all, this is not good and yes they are very insensitive to their son and his wife by extension. They have their own motive for moving in and it will be revealed in due time.

The man is not even happy about the situation hence his thread too. Its not a situation I wish for anyone I know.

If they didn't have funds to move to another apartment I will understand but they were given rent so why?


Madam the house is gone, just know that you have contributed to building house for your husbands family remove your mind from it, advise your husband to to remove his mind.


You both should try to look for funds to start another elsewhere, its very painful but that's the fact. In fact you guys don't have any house anywhere oo just know this and have peace.

Acidosis:
You will lose your wife's respect if you don't compensate her. She's not the reason your parents couldn't build a house for themselves. Return her share of the money if you must leave that apartment for your parents.

If you're not going to compensate her, then kindly be prepared to entertain her secrets. If I were in her shoes right now, I will NEVER agree to a joint contribute with you again.

People don't understand how complex this situation he posted can get, the fact that they moved there without telling him is something I can't wrap my head around.

Na wa

dopechoks:
why is no one talking about this?

I am also waiting for them to talk about this.

Hypocrites are everywhere on NL sha.

The only reason why they might not want to wed them is because they are already living together so it is assumed they are also sleeping together,

It is expected that despite the fact that they have a child already they should not live together till they are joined in holy matrimony since they have decided to get married.

A lot of pentecostal churches won't wed them for this reason except they lie about their current living arrangements.

They should do trad and registry if they don't wed them.

Honestly its getting terrible .

5 liters of veg oil(kings and laziz) was 5,500 as at 2 weeks back, last weekI used style to ask price it was 6,300 yesterday it was 6,500.

Very important tip is no more food wastage, gone are the days you cook extra in case visitor comes.

Nothingserious:
Thank you jare. Anyone who keeps their virginity can brag. It should be the norm and not an abnormality. Not many can do it. The few who could do it are strong and disciplined.

Exactly, why people are now shaming virgins especially on NL is why I am baffled.

They say It doesn't guarantee a good marriage blabla bla okay does being a non virgin guarantee a good marriage definitely not so what exactly is their point again.

People should learn to separate these things, you require a high level of discipline to remain a virgin in these trying times and that discipline/morality is enough to celebrate, it mostly likely would be the same factor that will prevent the individual from cheating in marriage.

Stop shaming virgins o ye nairalanders theres nothing wrong with being a virgin it's totally healthy and right.

Lool yeah e certainly reach to brag but putting the tokens of virginity (the blood) on the internet is not good judgement.

If he wanted to brag he should have just said it, typed it or whatever not posting the picture of their bedsheets for the whole world to see, its wrong. Even when they used to show tokens of virginity back in the days it was the family that saw it not the whole world.

My own grouse is the implications of posting that picture. It is well.

They shouldn't have posted this on the social media, not everything goes on SM very wrong.

But then traditionally (Yoruba culture)in the olden days the celebration will be going on outside while husband and wife go in to do the do and the white handkerchief stained with blood will be brought out to show everyone that she was indeed a virgin and then gifts will be taken to the brides parents house. That's how it was done before civilization came.

descarado:
Why will he not attend his inlaw burial?
If it's his father,will he also not attend?
What nonsense in the name of no money or is this a jinx as usual to start demonising as usual?

He was going that line of not attending in one of his posts hence my comment, it would be quite bad for him not to attend, he shouldn't say because he can't fulfil the financial rites he would stay away.

Karlman:
Thanks bro but shame wouldn't let me show my face there if can't do what I am supposed to do and too is not a one man journey so normally I have to come with my people and of course those elders can't follow you anywhere to go and present themselves empty handed its a shameful journey my people will never undertake. Just like you said if in the end I was only able to send my wife as that's all my salary can cover then so be it.

I understand your point as culture varies but I think its better to attend without doing anything financially than not attending your in-laws burial. Even if your people don't come with you, attendance is important.

GboyegaD:
He just resumed his job as such, he might not be able to get much days off. He better hold up his job than tell more stories in the future.

I have even forgotten the bolded, he can just attend the ceremony then.

Karlman, the economy is not smiling on a lot of people this days, please do not resort to crime or borrowing ( either LAPO, loan apps whatever).
You said you can afford money to package your family to the location of the burial, very good, if you can get a little sum as salary advance ( less than your monthly salary oo ehen) to hold as pocket money that will be good.

Go there, you may not have money but assist physically the way you can as an in law even if it is organization.

You can explain to your in-laws how things are for now, later you can pay the requirements when you can afford it, you might not tell them this but have it at the back of your mind.

God help you bro, don't enter gbese for burial oo .

FutureFocus:
These tables are suitable as kids tabs
The acer product have long lasting battery
Going for just 15k each

The Samsung Tab is going for 18k

They are in great conditions and I will help copy the kids educational apps and videos on it.

No Sim / WiFi only

Location? Negotiable? Contact?
The fourth picture is that a protective pouch?

Hahaha old format too

In 2011 it was Engr Gimba they used , they said it was Agip and you will need one letter from community that you will pay for.

Very old format a beg, they will mine your data from NYSC year book.

It was one Emmanuel onwuna back then that sent to me (dunno if I got the spelling of the name right).

Why is everybody saying she lied, situations like this has occurred several times.

A close friend also thought she was AA till she has her test during NYSC at a military hospital and then it was AS, she argued and argued that she has done it from different labsand was AA, they agreed to run it again and it was still AS

Its a very common issue, that's why you have to go to reputable Labs for Genotype tests.

That's why churches use standard labs/ hospital for marriage health screening.

Good thing you guys know now so you can do the right thing.

One ABOKI I changed dollar with also told me this that I shouldn't collect less than 2017 dollar notes from bank, that if they take it to deposit it they don't really accept it, he even said his exchange rate for old notes, lower denominations is slightly lower about 20naira difference.

It was even a 2013 note we were talking about, he even complained about lower denominations too.

I actually felt he was wrong so its really true bankers tell peeps this things

You are insulting the woman calling her unmarried bitter woman who inherited house from somewhere, at least sebi she inherited it

Instead of you to reason the matter with her I lived somewhere in Ibadan during NYSC that we had to ration fetching water from the well, you fetch small it dries up.

She has said you guys should move, and I believe she will give you a notice to that effect, hope you know lawyer and agent fees is not her business. Shishi you can't collect from those agents.

Loool prices of things are so high that everybody is lamenting, either the husband is the one that provides it or not.


Me that I can call my husband from the market and start lamenting on the phone that things are too costly . Bought gas few days back still complained nooni.

I can't imagine what people will say if it was me that dropped the money and I start complaining about cost of things.

I feel either you bought it with your money or not things are too astronomical and some people can't help but complain about it.

billynoni:
Local man was a fresh out secondary school, got a cleaning job in a bank on Lagos island. A newly married pregnant lady- a full time staff there, works there too. One cool afternoon like that, aunty called local man to get her meat pie+ chicken burritos+ spaghetti from Sweet Sensation on Broad street, then go ahead to get Yamarita from TFC or Ofada rice from Chicken Republic on Marina street. I said jokingly "ma'am, is that not too much?", aunty replied she's craving them and very hungry and I should get whatever I will eat too. I said okay and left with her debit card.

Approximately 25minutes later, I was back and informed her, that her food's on the table in the common room. She asked me what I got for myself and I replied "bread and egg". Leeeeemao, that's how aunty start begging me to give her bread and egg, that I should take all her own order from restaurant I weak that day. She even gave me extra 2k, coz I allowed her eat my food and didn't make her own food to waste. Aunty Ope if you're seeing this, I miss you sure sis paaaaaaahhhh

Well our own landlord refused to send his ID card for us to process prepaid meter and also told us not to use ours meanwhile they had already installed the free meter and you can't recharge without registering with an ID.

In his own words 'they just want to get your details to use against you'.

Baba is in obodo oyinbo we in naija are saying this is how they do it, baba said lailai oo, disagreed with the caretaker , disagreed with us, the issue was so annoyingly hilarious. Last last we solved it after some months.

One thing I have realized is when dealing with old folks you just have to be patient. It was later we got to know baba had trust issues - a former tenant was claiming he owned babas house, was even using the vacant flat as church baba got to hear abroad and didn't want any tenant registering any thing concerning his house.

Drizzy5001:
My landlord no get person time, he is a busy man, hardly stays at home, his wife is very nice too. just pay your rent and everything will be cool..

For most landlords the bolded is always the issh let me also add 'add pay your rent, other utilities , maintain the house and everything will be cool' if for any reason you can't pay on time inform the landlord don't try to play smart.

The original post is even biased, you have concluded that its the landlord that looks for the tenants trouble.

If Tenants too will keep to their end of the contract peace will always reign.

Its a 2way thing .

Cowbell521:
D thing wey funny pass be say na airpeace even get D Limousine for VIPs. But all the poor people here wey never near airport no fit know

Hahahaa seriously so what's all the fuss about then?

Nawa oo,what's all the fuss about. Maybe its even the abuja branch of deeper life that rented a limo who knows?

Peeps are really hateful and just waiting for what they perceive to be wrong in their own eyes to talk down at someone. Nawa.