₦airaland Forum

When you were performing wifey duties to someone you were not married to what were you expecting?


You see that 'our wife' statement from friends, its mostly scam, the same set of people know the side chick(s) or the main chick if you are one of the sidechicks

I doubt this is real sha

mariahAngel:
What I have come to understand and made peace with is the not all women will be alphas, just like not all males are alphas.

Omg! A guy just created a thread on romance section asking if there's anything wrong in calling his married ex to come cook for him! Omg!
The lady not only agreed, she also went with him to the market to buy the ingredients!

I swear, I'm so pissed right now!

Hiann,

Make I go find the thread.

saxxyb:
I also need advice, I am a young man of 26 years old, I am from a Catholic Christian family, I gave my life to Jesus in November 2016 when i listened to a message of Apostle Joshua Selman ever since my life have been a wonder, that is my main place of spiritual empowerment.

Now the problem is that I no longer attend the catholic church because I don't feel connected there, I started attending Christ embassy because of a close friend of mine who is a member of Christ Embassy, he invited me during the pandemic last year and I was glad to go because churches were closed during that period and my spirit was dry so I have attending ever since, although I attend Christ embassy on Sundays, though I am not consistent in Christ embassy church because I value Koinonia and interdenominational ministry headed by Apostle Joshua Selman which i attend virtually I.e an online church and I can't be in two place at a time and I intentionally avoid taking responsibilities and taking up positions so that I won't be too connected to Christ embassy so that I will easily focus on koinonia and also make it easy if I decide to leave Christ Embassy when koinonia opens a church in Lagos, one problem my family members are against me attending Christ embassy and they criticize me because they think I am being brainwashed by Pentecostals, speaking in tongues is really a strange thing, my mum doesn't like Christ embassy all because she think they aren't serious Christians due to their dressing and the way their men relaxes their hair .

Talking about marriage I feel its going to be difficult choosing a partner coz of these church identity, I will want to avoid these same problem, so nairalanders I need your sincere and good advise because I am still your and don't want these kind of problem in marriage.

Very simple move to another Pentecostal church Naa.

These things are not that hard.

Lots of elderly people will frown at a young person attending a church where men curl hair. you are still under their authority so obey them.

Move to another bible believing church for physical service and you can continue your virtual service with the other ministry.

Generalnomercy:
Honestly, the truth is that after attending Dominion city church you can't feel like attending any other church because there is no church like DC because they have passion for excellence.

Secondly, the DC ministers are highly deviplined unlike in redeem that most of the pastors are either fraudsters, native doctors or con men who does not no God at all.

Convince your husband to attend DC for just one month and his life will never be the same.

Finally, as God to direct you and your family clearly.

@bolded what won't I read on nairaland .



Christians ehn, olorun kuu suuru.

There is no church that is perfect as long as its humans there.

ruggedtimi:
Talk true Na because for DC, females are allowed to wear trouser to church and RCCG does not allow such. ( personally I don't see anything wrong with a girl wearing trousers to church). I think DC is this modern type of church like house on the rock , salvation ministry , COZA, etc

Ohooo maybe this is the problem,

At least this matter is not between catholic and Pentecostal .


But in all honesty they are both bible believing churches with similar doctrinesI think ( if its that they don't allow makeup/ earing at redeem I would have said that might be the issue)

So I really don't get the the issue is.

There is a problem if you can't leave a church to another church especially churches that are a bit similar like this. If it was from dominion city to chosen/deeper life/ mfm I might understand your hesitation.

Too timid, kind and lenient all these for a 5year old .



Nawa oo

PlayMaker14:
Do you want him to have the dare Devil attitude of General Buhari or want him to be the next MC Oluomo who is the Chairman of touts and dirty Agbero?

Please allow him to grow and bother yourself with something useful.

OP follow the bolded advice

Looolz orishishiri family style.

I thought it was only the ee and oo pronoun that is always the issue , this one is a new one.

Your MIL might be an hard core ' this is the way it was done when I was married type of woman'

Diplomacy is what you need.


The senior wife's own - just use the eee pronoun for them, call them by their children name, mummy Yemi, mummy Nike shikena.

The children own is the one I can't relate with

I believe you see them once a while, its should be a minor issue.Don't argue with her please.


Just curious KemiMo though Does the wife of your husbands twin brother call the wife of the elderly brother 'mummy wa'?

pocohantas:
Some men carried their families to beg for marriage and still saw that as a reason to maltreat their wives. According to them, she was sold for tubers of yam and 10l palm oil.

I remain of the opinion that the presence or absence of bride price has nothing to do with how some Nigerian men treat their partners.

It is just a convenient excuse when they start misbehaving. These same men will give side-chick debit card and pin. Still buy am Benz.



.

You kuku have a point. Honestly

Just hoping the presence of a bride price would have made a difference.

FOLYKAZE:
As hard as this is, I just have to put out this response to the allegations against me here. Seeing this happening now is heartbreaking, I never wished for it, but when relationship becomes more a prison, situation like this is inevitable. Unfortunately, we hooked up, and certainly breaking up online.

When we met back then, it wasn't that I manipulated her mind or took advantage of her young age, she had previous relationships that didn't work. So I don't know where the idea that I fooled her is coming from. Was she coerced, absolutely no!

Into the relationship, she got pregnant and moved into what she called uncompleted building. This very apartment is where my parents and myself lived. Though not a duplex or mansion, it is what we call home. She consented to live in the house. The room wasn't conducive enough, we cohabit in there, happily. We both weathered the conditions till she delivered and also had admission. I had a job that helped us patched up our livelihood. From this job, I was earning very little but managed to foot all necessary bills for her schooling, accommodation, her well-being and that of my baby. I also renovated that uncompleted building into a tasting simple apartment. During this period I was the best husband and best daddy. Yes, she had it all.

One fateful day, a year after she graduated, I found her personal diary. In it, she record all the expenses she incurred while in school. There she stated I only gave her N50,000 financial support in her first year, and afterward did nothing. Though infuriated, I confronted her peacefully about what I saw and what she meant. She stood by her words that I did nothing and that was it. I let it slide though. Days later, she informed me she is about to start processing her degree, and that she will need my support. There I told her, Madam, you have a job already and should bear the responsibility in issue like this, not that I couldn't support but the previous ones I gave were never acknowledged or appreciated. This became the genesis of our misunderstandings. She flared up, told me she would do it all herself, and maybe with support from her family. But till date, that ambition remain a pipe dream. Yes it was a good vision, however, I can never afford to contribute into a project my effort would be worthless.

Many months while she works, she never spend a dime from her earnings. All her money were saved, but mine was meant to be spent to the last penny. She never wanted to bear any financial responsibilities. I took up every necessary bills, even though when it entails monitoring and controlling every damn expenses. This include that of the kid and her own well-being. I systematically stopped footing her bills; clothing, hair making, among others, when I observed that her spending culture was becoming wild. During my maternal granddad burial ceremony, she requested for N5000 for her hair making. I told her I can only afford to pay N2000 as I have already spent more than N400,000 on the burial. Hearing this, she not only threatened to call all her families not to attend to ceremony, but acted accordingly. On that very day, I stopped investing on her personal expenses.

Aside that, she was disrespecting my Parents. At a point, she called my Mum a witch, not only to her face but went out telling people on the street. Those she told personally that my Mum is a witch who allegedly killed out late son, informed me of this. She kept grudges with my mum till her death. This is the woman who never killed her own son or grandchild. This is the woman who fed you during your first years in Ore.

Considering the unreliable job security in the nation, I decided to learn a trade. Cocoa Merchant to be precise. Told her about my plans. And since I wouldn't be earning enough, told her to take care of the kid school fees and also some miscellaneous. Since the apprenticeship would take a year, we both agree that she will bear those expenses for a year. Unfortunately, I lost my formal Boss, and was reassigned to another Boss. I was supposed to complete this apprenticeship in December but this Boss shifted it to March this year. Much of the running of things in the house come from her. I appreciated her for that, but I did contributed somethings. She painted a scenario that she had all the bulk on her shoulder. I have personally called her in April that I will take back school fees of our son and some expenses esp feeding of our daughter. All these I have done within two months that I am free. She is here calling me Lazy and over pampered.

Some years back, my Dad saw me helping her to fetch water. I was only trying to help her but my Dad saw the other sides of my actions. He asked me to stop because I have given her an Inch and would likely go for miles in the future. She wouldn't wash my clothes, sweep the house, and take days before she wash plates. She is here on this forum, and can answer when last she washed my clothes. Its more than 10months. I raised this issie many times but she was adamant, unwilling to bend. Worst still, she deliberately cook bad food, some she cannot eat herself.

Two months ago, she called me at the middle of the night, and informed, out of the blue, me that she want a seperation. I told her, this is fine by me. And I enquired when she would be leaving. She said December this year. Leaving separately for 10 months is unreasonable. I halted her and gave her grace until June Holiday. Days later, I often inquired from her when the holiday would be. She was curious though. I gave my words and will stand by it.

The window grace was opened wide, she stubbornly decided to stay on the other side. On Monday, I almost lost my life when the boat we boarded from Ese-Odo to Irele capsized. I arrived home drenched at some mins past 10. This is the Lazy me struggling in the wild, ocean and forest looking for daily meal. She saw me drenched and do not even care to welcome me home. She was busy watching movie, while I was dying away. I told her point-blank, she is in, this week. I gave her money to prepare food the following day. Even until Wednesday, we were cool until I surprisingly saw this thread blackmailing me.

Well, I believe strongly she is been influenced and wrongly advised. This is not her. But I cannot help it anymore. She just have to go away. I have informed her family and they seem contented with my decision. I wish her well

Not a fan of choosing mouth in the back and forth between husband and wife but ehn




Honestly this is really terrible, anyway Its not your fault if you had carried your family to beg to marry her sebi you for value am

You are painting yourself as the Alfa and omega despite the fact that your NL threads prove otherwise.

So all this yeye story is your rebuttal to domestic violence and threat to life ? Locked them out before and did same again, you threatened to kill her because of all these?

She did not wash my clothes
She did not welcome me
She did not do this and that
She's blackmailing you

Gave a window of grace that expired orishitishi

What manner if rubbish is this one bayi and you will be preaching in religion section. Nawa.


Mtchew.

crackhaus:
Sheit!!

I don miss film for here oo...


Raalsalghul
https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/slte.gif

This larryjonze sha...


But why e be say any couple wey the man and the woman get active NL accounts, dem dey usually get issues that will end up blowing up in our faces?

It's like evil spirit is here.


Mehn the day my SO will open an NL account and become an active member, that's the day I will finally deactivate my account... in fact, that's the only thing that can make me deactivate it.
Two of us cannot just be here together.. mbanu.

Any did you say any? Wrong very very wrong, there are hundreds of couples on NL ooo abi no be this NL again


2nd bolded Yimu

I would actually love to hear your view on this matter.

Even before they stated that its now 15,000 naira from 21k.
Peeps have always paid 31k, I paid 31k few years back. The excuse they gave then was that its was a new type of certificate, I think that's when they changed from the plain paper to the embossed one.

Yeye people. All of them there are involved.

Lonelypacifist6:
On the contrary, my nurse prescribed medications, I hate the smell of hospitals.

Is the bp now stable?

frozen70:
It's not really free you will be charged from your recharge

50% of what you recharged will be used to off set the prepaid till the complete amount is withdrawn from your recharge

These ones they are rolling out is free

This one is Mass metering programme the one you are talking about should be the CAPMI scheme or something like that.

They were practically hawking the meter in my area. They sent an SMS initially, Most of us collected then went to the office later to fill application form.

Lonelypacifist6:
My blood pressure as at yesterday is 189/98 this picture is not loading.

I believe you are in the hospital right?

Mindlog:
I know a Reverend Father based in Italy who purposely flew down to Nigeria because of their last born who had sworn to be a thorn in the flesh of their aged parents, as early as 5a.m he arrived their family house with 2 policemen, kicked the guy up from sleep and had him bundled into the car and straight to Federal Neuro-Psychiatric Hospital, Enugu where he paid to have the younger brother locked up for months till when he was to return to Nigeria for his annual leave as he couldn't allow his youngest brother to continue harrassing their aged parents and threatening to burn down the family house with their parents in it.

Aftet being released from the psychiatric hospital, na the guy call family meeting say e wan learn handwork.

This thread just dey pain me sha.

Lizzyangel I will say one more time, threats to life are not to be joked with.

Wicked man. mtcheww

Lizzyangel:
Thanks for your response, he had been telling me to leave he even threatened me, to take my life if I insist on staying,atime s , he'd seize the key, lock me out, abuse me and others but I'll still beg him for my kid's sake and he's using this medium to blackmail me.

Threats to your life and physical assault as you have implied here is not something to toy with.

Many have gone

Lisaint:
Lagos State government should stop this unnecessary confusion

Lagos is just handling Mile 2 - Okokomaiko section

The rest from Igbo elerin to seme is been handled by FG!
The handling that section is (WE CONSTRUCTION),they have their yard at Agbara

LAGOS State government should tell us that they have almost complete the section they are handling!


Go and check from Agbara-Badagry the road is worst with multiple checking by men of the NPF under the Area K police command.


But for lagos to be Saying
Lagos-badagry expressway is almost completed is a lie



Let them beg FG to also pressure WE to Finish the section they are handling

What weizchino is doing is maintenance of the road, that's their contract from the federal ministry of works. They are not constructing 10 lanes all they were contracted to do is upgrade the existing 4 lanes which they have done to agbara/carwash and still doing and their contract doesn't extend to ceme.

CCECC is still constructing the 10 lanes from igboelerin , they are presently after afromedia now.


By the way there is no way that road can be ready in December , even 10 lanes to Agbara can't be ready by December

Wow starboy is all grown, God keep him .

I called my palm oil customer for village oil 3 days back she told me 4,000 naira . I had to ask how many liters she said 5liter naa, Last time I bought the stuff was 2,700.

I now decided to price that one bottle water quantity they sell in market, yesterday someone told me 600, today they said 700I was like okay e don cost true true.

I decided to wait it out , since I still have very small in the keg, this evening a friend told me her neighbor brought plenty gallons of village oil from delta to sell but she has not decided the price, I am hoping it is far cheaper since she will sell to retailers so I will buy from her.

Bought 5kg semo 2,300 yesterday, last I bought it was 2,000. I have bought it 1,600,1,700, 1,800 this year alone I think .

Spagetti was 260 per unit carton price last I bought now its 270 retailers are selling 280 or more same spaghetti we still bought 220 or so.

Bread nko

Tomatoes pepper, Even sweet potatoes that is always very cheap is now expensive

Its crazy really crazy.

Peeps that have income and feed their family comfortably these days should thank God, I wonder how large families with basic income cope, Its really terrible oo

Two domestic violence stories in this section that have always made me wonder - Debrief and another moniker ( she's still active here)

edimalo:
Is been a while I gave an update on the below.
I attended the FCCPC resolution platform on electricity consumers which I tendered my case with them and they were very helpful and gave a listen ear.
Most of the issue were resolved, the only one pending now is the May 2021 bill of N24,316.46 which I told them I wasn't connected but since we left the resolution platform IKEDC hasn't removed the MAY bill, they were asking for disconnection notice with all the evidence provided to them.
My March and April bill was reduce from N151,353.19 to N 38,873.83 and the 200 units that was previously charged at N 15,692.00 was reduced to N 8,273.00. Did I hear you say no be juju be that, wahala for who no sabi right for Nigeria.
I would have just been shortchanged of N119,898.36 in this hard economy

I am expecting the MAY 2021 bill to be removed that is what am trying to fight for now.

Nice one bros , happy for the update.

Drag it to the last with them too

Yeye pipo

crackhaus:
Lol, your points are well received and adjudged to be well thought-out.

About the part where you said that men are so simplistic, I can't argue with that especially when it comes to vagína.
I have typed it before here, it's only you women that group/separate yourselves into classes, men don't care about that shít...not even the most cerebral and wealthy ones do, like you already noted.

To a lot of men, and I dare say, to all men, vagína is vagína. It hardly matters the status, level, or focus (as you put it) of the woman carrying it... especially when she's not someone he wants to marry.

Dangote, an astute businessman and undeniably the wealthiest black man in the world, has seen his áss plastered all over the internet.
The other billionaire in the US is getting divorced because of infidelity.
Late Usifo (God rest his soul) is even small in comparison to these heavyweights, yet all of them don jonze...

More men are just like them, and are still going to continue in the game with an unlimited abundance of ever willing women.

Like I said before, na who dem catch dem dey use as scapegoat and sunday school lesson.

Hmmm

Na real wa @ bolded.

crackhaus:
It's not about whether "we guys" never learn. What is there to learn anyway?
So because plane dey crash, you will not enter plane again?

Let's be realistic...

There will always be sugar-daddies (people's husbands) and there will always be side-chicks (people's girlfriends). So there's really NOTHING to learn from the minister who disgraced himself out of office, or from Usifo who died at the hands of a side-chick.

Such emotional blackmails about learning from all this, are at best juvenile... like what primary school girls should be using to scare their male classmates.

Don't you know that right this minute as I am typing this comment, all over Nigeria in particular and even the world in general, sugar-daddies are still with their side-chicks collecting blowjóbs and feeling fly?
Nothing has changed and nothing will change, the business moves on...

The blame games are irrelevant and completely unnecessary...

Thousands of Chidinmas have already lodged into hotels, pent-houses, & apartments today. Thousands of Usifos are already on their way there to meet them.

Na who dem catch or who die, dem dey use as scapegoat... For the rest, we meuuuuve.

This guy ehn

Unfortunately you are right people will never learn, neither will this incident stop peeps from cheating.

bukatyne:
@Op:

Who should we blame for the man's cheating, Mbok?

The man is at fault for cheating. We all agree that he did not deserve to die because he cheated.

HOWEVER, if he did not cheat, he would not have become a victim.

Chidinma the killer runs girl would have found another victim and Mr. Ataga would be alive eating Sunday rice now.

When people are warned to be careful or shun certain situations/vices, it is not to 'support' the criminal or victim shaming; it is avoid becoming a victim or statistics.

God console all the people he left behind.

@ first bold They want us to blame the wife

@ 2nd bold - That is the truth a lot of men don't want to admit.

He didn't deserve to die because he cheated but if he didn't cheat he wouldn't have died .

They should sha leave the wife out of the matter, husband's loss is enough pain .

Viju is not even milk to start with, educate her to buy formula for the baby, myboy formular is quite cheap should be 1,700 now.

Even adults shouldnot be taking too much of such drinks.

Note: It can go haywire and she insults you to the last if you try educating her

LadySarah:
They don't ever listen until something happens.
One lost her baby recently kept feeding a less than 4 mth old golden morn .
Another one braided her 3 mth old baby's hair with half attachment .The baby died next morning .

The generation of "mind your business" and wokeness

Hiannnn

Golden morn is not for babies under 3 years according to the producers,lots don't adhere to this but I have actually not seen a parent giving a child less than 1 year golden morn.
4 months is way of chart, it is well oo

The braiding own knocked me off, I just can't relate abeg, even 1 year olds for me its to tie ribbon in 4 places and we moooove.

Well lots of people mind their business to avoid getting insulted. I once saw someone give a 41 day old baby pap, and she was forcefeeding the baby, I was making my hair, I was squeezing my bum on the chair so I won't talk but I talked last last, arrh the baby is a bit small for pap, they said arrh ikun e ti fee. ( his stomach is wide) omu o ka mooo ( breast can't satisfy him again). I wanted to talk again but I just kept quiet I had to lock up, dragging the issue will lead to 'all this alakowe people sef 'kind of look from them.

I finished the hair and got back to mums place, I was on a visit, I talked about the issue, that even if breast is not enough formula nko, mama said yeah we both know its not right but shey na you go buy the baby milk for them? I kuku off the mic. Well the boy is about 4 now.

If the story is true, waiting for those that will say it's Lola's fault.

tunapawizzy:
Honestly except a convicted is not showing remorse or a high-grade threat to the society, governors hardly sign-off on their execution, nobody wan make dem remember am say na im sign make dem kill another person.

i guess her legal team would have seen that, pleading for mercy, pity, trying to show remorse will be d last resort in court. That's why they will tell her to talk about being from a broken home, influence from friends and all. Finally her lawyers will still tell judge, shes a victim of the broken home n broken society, pease tender justice with mercy.

That Revd king is an example, loool abi na

You have a point but then do all these count in a Nigerian court ?

tunapawizzy:
Even if they sentence her to death, no governor will sign off on the execution of a 21 year old girl. She will just remain in jail for a very long time.
She may get the death sentence but they won't kill her. They will pardon her for good conduct maybe after 10years

@bolded exactly

Even that northern lady that killed her husband that is from an influential family has not been executed.

Bloggers and newspapers should let the law takes it course, case will be tried in court shikena, she needs to stop talking haba.