₦airaland Forum

ornicus:
get married. your wife will probably put a stop to all this and be the bad guy.

i.

Lool seems you want to pinpoint this problem on the fact that her mum was a single mum, your wife was raised by a single mum.

Thats not nice, wifey could have told her mum an entirely different story, the poor woman may not even be aware of all these brouhaha.

Address the issue you have with your wife, leave out the old woman's status.

Maybe you dont get what you are saying on this thread , you are insinuating that its because your mother inlaw is a single mother thats why she didnt call you to ask why your wife spent a night at her place.

You are more bothered about the call than resolving whatever issue you have with your wife.

The mother might even know the story and was even was the one that told her to go back home at dawn.


Imagine the nonsense you are doing.

LoyalRccgMember:
Good morning guys, so there's an issue that has been bothering me for a week now.

it's about my younger sister's childhood friend. so, I came back from school last month after finishing my 2nd semester 300l exams.

And anytime, my friends sister visited our house, she'll sometimes sneak into my room to collect my phone which she claims shes uses for assignments (she's currently in S.S.2).

So last week, she came as usual to collect the phone. after giving her, she decided to stay back in the room while she makes research on her so-called assignments. while putting on earpiece ooo.

unknown to her, even though I was busy on my laptop, I could still hear some noise from the earpiece. I had to pause what I was doing to listen carefully and found out that this girl was actually watching porn in my holy phone oooo.

I got angry and collected my phone after which I sent her out of my room. even after that event, she still visits our house and still comes into my room but I've denied her my phone sha.

So, last week Sunday, after church service, I tried to my Buddy who was a pianist in our church to seek advice from him if I should report the girl to her parents or leave her alone.

I was quite shocked at his reply as he said I messed up that I should have taken advantage of the girl. I was like, the girl is 16 oooo. and i also told him that I don't engage in such stuffs (At 20, I've never hugged a girl before because of my low self esteem as my friends would call it) He also told Me that age is just a number that he have been strafing the junior pastor's daughter who was his girlfriend (17year old girl ooo and dude is 23) i didn't believe him at first not until he showed me the nude pictures of the girl.

he said I should man up that he'll get me a condom this Sunday which I will use. I told him that he should remember that he is a Christian and that as Christians, we should stay away from all forms of immorality and that our body is the temple of God which should remain Pure and Holy at the same time.
the dude's defense was that Jesus has already died for our sins and that subsequent sins we commit will be forgiven.

Right now, I'm confused as to what to do as my younger sister's friend has been trying to seduce me. sometimes, she'll just come into my room without even knocking the door wearing what seemed like mini skirt. mind you, all the while that she has been coming to our house, my parents are not always around. also, her mom and my mom are close buddies.

Please I need an advice on what to do as my friend from the just has already promised to bring the CD on Sunday. also, is it true that Jesus really died for our subsequent sins? that is, the sins we commit later on in life will be forgiven? also, I need advice from those who had engage in premarital sex before. so far, have you had any regrets? please help a brother. please I'll appreciate if I get more views concerning this issue.

Lalasticlala
mynd44
seun

Ogbeni, your post got to me.

I beg you in the name of the God you serve, flee from every apperance of evil.

You know its wrong thats why you opened this thread, you are just surprised that a church brother is advising you to do otherwise, that shows that all the words you ve been listening to in church are not in vain, you still have the fear of God in you.

Avoid that girl, ban her from coming to your house, tell your mum what she's trying to do, your mum will handle it with her mum. However you want to do it make sure she doesn't come near you at all. You are only protecting yourself.

As for brother adviser with doctrine from the pit of hell, avoid him in church on the street anywhere, he's evil masqurading as a son of God, they are plenty in church nowadays oo. He's looking for someone to drag down with him he's not even repentant at all. Do not even collect the condom from him.

Gods grace doesn't give us license to sin, that doctrine he is telling you is an error and from the pit of hell. You are going to bear the consequence of your actions.

As for having regret about premarital sex, oh yeah you will surely regret it all your life.

Dont tamper with your destiny because one guy somewhere trying to poision your mind.

Teenager trying to seduce a 20year old, Lord have mercy oo and the Agbaya that they asked advise from is even more annoying, now twisting the bible for his own selfish benefit.

I wonder what the church is turning into nowadays.

Too much boys on nairaland. I wonder what kind of girls they roll with to say girls have nothing to offer apart from sex.

Likes attract likes sha.

I dont understand what the problem is.

Your wife is holding the forte till you stand on your feet again, heeded to your complaints and even went as far as hiring a male non live in help to help ease her of the stress and clean the house which you wont do and she can afford to pay for, you still claim she should do the chores herself?

Which kain yeye ego is that?

You want her to quench finally, the funny part is sebi he allowed helps when he had a job.

If this is not wickedness I wonder what is?

crackhaus:
Hmmmm, so Yoruba too?

Who then has been feeding the masses with those lies about women not inheriting property in a terribly patriarchal society like Nigeria?
Amazing...

Yeah Yoruba women inherit, married, single, divorced, widowed whatever title you have. they dont even give preference to the male in property matters. Mostly equal sharing, but then individual greed of some siblings or wicked evil relatives might be an issue.


Its even as nice as you inherit from your dad, then if your own mum has personal properties (inherited or acquired) you get a share of that too .


That doesn't mean that other women from other tribes inherit, so your bolded statement is still a fact. Some cultures do not allow their female daughter inherit from their fathers house.

masterpix:
first you need to know that once you are given 6 months notice you don't pay any dime during the NOTICE period as yearly tenants by law. Your landlord wants to play smart on you because you don't know the tenancy law.

By which law

You are actually meant to pay.

Looolz people feel the duration of the quit notice is supposed to be free.

At least the OP knows he should pay.


Do what suits you, if he wants to withdraw the notice let his lawyer write you simple.

I realized some Nigerians do not properly register their vehicle especially its Nigerian used, if the original custom papers are available, there should be a way round it, they might register it afresh.

buddenlove:
Sir, Read the judgement carefully. They didnt say Fatoyinbo is clean nor Busola is lying.
What they r saying is the case is too far to be investigated.
It's out the legal period of 6 years.
Comprendo?

The Nigerian factor sha.

Life and its twists and turns.

Friend A met her husband at the wedding of friend B, she was the chief brides, she had a fiancee then, infact the dude came to the wedding what we didnt know was that dude was misbehaving.

Best man shot his shot Friend A agreed, they got married few months later, Friend B's married crashed in less than 2 years. Both husbands seem to still be friends but the female friends cant visit each other much because of the marriage crash.

Safety wise that gown is too free/bulky for okada

Do not sell their property.

If they need extra money for their expenses, let the children decide. The 20 year old can decide whether to sell one of the properties to invest or not.

No matter how long the rent delays use that to take care of them.

Your motive is suspicious

'my aunt was so secretive'
' I started looking for other properties'
'only me knows about the ones I have seen'
'I have a kia sportage jeep in my possession'
'love most of the problems'
'can start life with it'

You sound like the typical Nigeerian uncle, you didnt think of selling the asset that would depreciate- the car.

You also didnt need to mention they were adopted.

Ask yourself if those kids had nothing left for them would you try to take care of them the little way you can.

AmazingELixir:


Which kind flat for Alausa dey cost N1.3mil per annum infact the tenant did well.

Whats the price range for flats in Alausa? Since 1.3 is too much.

When I say some tenants are from hell some dont believe, just look at people justifying what that man did to the womans property.

Its because she travelled out if not she would have discovered early enough.

I guess people are also seeing reason why lots of landlords would not prefer court cases, see a tenant boasting that as long as the case is in court he will still be using the property and unfortunately he's right.


Theres a level of craziness needed to be a landlord in Lagos.

How people seem not to get that its much more than the mosquito net Is baffling,the net matter is just an icing on the cake, this woman has reached her limits


Madam I salute you, you are practically running the household.

The excuses being made for this man on this thread are very hilarious
>:


Just fix the net please for your children's safety.

I heared some years back that the Filipino nannies are very very good at their job.

I guess the preference has to do with efficiency.

Mothers want who can take good care of their children

Jewessgratitude:
Hmmm.... Now Op... I didn't read the previous story but from what I read here I can get a picture of what the matter is all about. But Op, the tone of this your message gives you away as a mocker as in the tone is one of sarcasm and not sympathy. Even your actions towards her is not so pleasant, reason she refused further gestures from you.
I'll explain each part of all I describe up there about your actions and tone.

"Not Pleasant Actions": You immediately stopped dropping your children with her because of what she's passing through. Do you know how that makes her feel? Like Her family is some bad influence (of course they are) but you didn't need to make it so obvious. And to think all this while she's been looking after them at no cost,n ow you making it seem shes a plague? She has every right to refuse your gestures too.

Secondly

" Sarcasm " this is you coming here to tell us how drive a car and use it to drop her children and she hires a keke NAPEP because you're a "working class woman" and she is a "house wife" who should go and work like other women forgetting her being a house wife favored you in the beginning when she was baby sitting your children alongside hers.
Also letting us know how your boy is getting along with other kids in the office and how "the dad engaged him in sports bla bla and goes with him to play every weekend.. Like seriously Is this about your son or the said woman? Like putting your family pari pasu this woman's family shows you're only mocking her or simply saying you're better than her. Which is uncalled for.
The woman has probably read all these actions and decided to keep you out of her life.

Everyone has their family issues and know the gravity of it. While you viewing from outside/afar might not know the weight of the matter and be acting otherwise. So let her be and stop painting your family as the best and role model for society and others as a bad influence cos you too have your own marital issues only difference is it's not been sounded on high cymbals. People have different ringtones. Some are coded and low while some are loud hut empty barrels.

I hope you understand and take this piece of advice and not see it as an attack. Even if I come across as attacking, take it in good faith.

As for the woman, shes mature enough to know when to take to her heels. No woman likes the whole world to know what is happening between her and her husband to avoid mockery such as this.

The best you can do is to pray for her and f you're truly concerned and not spread and keep giving updates here about her marital issues.

Should she let her son continue witnessing the abuse?

So she shouldn't have offered them a ride ?


As far as I understand OP only explained in detail the whole incident so that readers will understand, and yes its also about her son because he is in the middle of all this, she only let us know how he's faring after witnessing such horrific incidents, how he's overcoming that traumatic experience and mingling with other children despite missing his former playmates, he was the one that called his mum to rescue the woman when she was in her own blood.

Read the previous story you will get why she's explaining so much about her son.

Scientifically proven- no
Superstitious - probably
Does it happen - Yes.

Lool he mentioned nana agrada, is it not the same nana that does live occultic, fetish money doubling programmes on tv.


You need to see some of those ghananian free to air stations to understand.

Money doubling, occultism, babalawo sef on live tv.

As for the pastor only God will Judge, the one that its obafour they will shout instead of praising God.

Thank God I dont understand their language.

Get him formula naah, if its as serious as you put it.

SirBrightoc:
Sorry dear, but I think the lady made a mistake by believing you to be a man of honour, which you have now proved not to be.

1. You had an agreement early enough in the relationship. Now you think that since you have boxed her to a tight conner by paying her bride price, you can change the terms at will. From your post, this was actually your initial plan. It shows that you lack honour and cannot be trusted.

2. A marriage relationship that is just beginning, you have reported this minor issue to her parents and pastor? Wow! You have no respect for her. You are not matured enough for marriage. You obviously can't handle a family, unless you change now.

3. That she agreed to go with you to your house after the traditional marriage shows she trusted you for all the things you said to her. Unfortunately, she is wrong. You are the opposite of what you say. Imagine you lying to her in your initial agreement that you will wait until after CHURCH marriage. Didn't you know that you weren't willing to do so? Didn't you deliberately plan to deceive her? You have no respect for yourself.

4. You are coming to a faceless forum like Nairaland with such a sensitive issue to seek counsel from people, most of who know nothing about marriage. You are insulting yourself and wife.

5. Imagine you talking of subjecting her to a virginity test. That's inhumane and a sign that you are not trustworthy. You think everyone is like you? You think all girls out there are the same and like the ones you have been defiling?

What exactly do you want to achieve by FORCING and BLACKMAILING her against your earlier stance now? If you find out that she's not a virgin, will be quit the relationship? If she's a virgin and not experienced in lovemaking so that she fails to satisfy you in bed, will you quit? What exactly do you want to achieve? Or you lack self control?

She's the one that needs someone to advise her to quickly run from you. Both of you are not on the same page of principles. You don't deserve such a godly lady.

My marriage is seven years now and I can tell you, I have been enjoying the best of marriages. None of us has complained about the other to ANYBODY. We waited until after CHURCH marriage before sex. That trust we built has been keeping us.

God bless you.

marvin905:
I agree with you on the fact that an agreement was made and it should be adhere to..
buh listen the white wedding most of Y'all are saying is compulsory is a traditional marriage for whites that was passed down to US as colonies not that it is recognized by God if it is please show me where in the Bible .God is not one that creates confusion..
he created different races and different cultures and in each of these races and cultures all have different marriage rite's and none is better than the other as far as the family agrees on your Union and the bride price is paid your married it's we blacks that seems to be overzelous and ignorant..
you can do a traditional wedding without doing White buh you can't do white without doing traditional no church will wed you

But they had an agreement

And since they plan to have a church wedding then he should just wait abi isnt the OP a christain?

AtoningBlood:
God bless you.

I did just court n traditional. No church wedding because my parent n I attend different churches, their church won't wed me if I'm not their member and my parent won't attend my church for wedding so we did not even consider church.

We did court and a week later voom to the villa for traditional wedding. No need prolonging dates, let every thing be close to avoid stories.

My own Dad was a Staunch Anglican, I and mum pentecostal, spouse attends pentecostal too, my dad believes pentecostal churches are not true churches, when the back and forth was becoming too much we jejely went for our traditional and registry.

Dad now personally insisted we did the court in Lagos before the traditional to avoid stories that touch to get the legal aspect done and dusted we had 4 weeks interval between the registry and the trad in my home town, after the traditional we went to our house and had our thanksgiving the next day and our pastor blessed us.

I do not support long dates interval, where I come from if they dont do the trad and church wedding the same day maximum Thursday and Saturday or at most a week or two if theres distance involved.

Lot of my friends are now wisening up, they do their trad and have a very small solemnization just pastor parents them and their best man and chief brides maid, the vows are read and voila they are solemnized. Since the major reason why people seem to put long intervals between church and trad is money to have a big hall and party then it should be done small, its not even compulsory you have a reception.


It seems people do not understand the meaning of 'solemnization of holy matrimony' what is holy about the matrimony that is being solemnized with the bed defiled, we deceive ourselves a lot as christains sha.

marvin905:
let me understand something you don't support traditional marriage that's your way..
buh you support white wedding that isn't your own..
if am wrong tell me cause a nigga is confused

Not that read and understand my post.

2 major points

1.He already had an agreement with her that they wont consumate the marriage till after the church wedding. HE AGREED.

2. If you are going to go through two or three marriage types, try and finish all before you consumate. Trad wedding alone plus registry plus a pastor blessing you is okay but if you still want a full service of solemnization of holy matrimony then I believe you should wait, what are you now solemnizing after the marriage has been consumated. I feel its a sort of deception and jamboree, I didnt have a church wedding personally beacuse we didnt want to but if we did we would have waited till after the church wedding. My 2nd point is talking as a christain. This is why I dont support long time between trad and church Wedding, do the trad and do a small solemnization weeks apart. It avoids all this mess. I am talking based on the assumption that the couple to be are celibate but as it seems everyone is having sex before marriage nowadays( which I know is not true) well it seems irrelevant.
2nd point is my personal opinion as a christain.


Either way the OP should keep to his agreement.

But you were the one that said in your post that you had asked her initially and she had said no sex till AFTER CHURCH WEDDING and you agreed, so whats all the fuss about now.

You agreed so why back out of the agreement, the fact that you had known what to expect before hand is the issue, its not a matter of whether we should consumate the marriage after trad or not.



To my personal opinion about the matter as a christain, do the church wedding as planned and consummate the marriage thats all, I believe the marriage should be consummated after all wedding/marriage procedures you planned for have been completed, if you want to do trad only do and consummate your marriage but if you have planned for church wedding just wait till the whole stuff is over.
This is the major reason I dont support all these do traditional marriage now, do church wedding in 6 months time, that is what is causing all this back and forth arguments. If it was 2 weeks interval all this wont crop up. But op if you are not really a christain you can ignore this 2nd paragraph.

A relationship without sex is perfect, its the best.

Loool

Anybody has a right to do what they deem fit but People should not insult our intelligence with silly posts like this

Loool I know this man from those Ghana free to air stations.

God is really patient sha.

Nigeria has a very long way to go just by reading this comments .

Very insensitive posts.

YES YES YES.

Triplets without help You wont have time for anything else, and will be constantly stressed.


It seems some men dont understand the effort it takes to take care of children.