₦airaland Forum

To even rent your house as a landlord without agent wahala is a big problem even in LAGOS.

If you put signboard and phone no its agents that will call posing as tenants, if you don't put somehow they will know the apartment is empty and start disturbing the peace of everyone in the compound. Those people have a strong network of connections oo, how they know vacant apartments is what baffles me.

Lots of landlord will like to by pass those agents because of how they do overcharge tenants.


I am surprised at this Ibadan topic because as at 2011, houses were relatively cheap even in Bashorun Bodija side, clean estate oo

Seems young people don't want to serve for long again and there's also the case of those masters that refuse to settle the nwa boys after long years of service.

Let's even say nwa Boi takes longer years, what of the Yoruba people that back then they learn work for 1-3 years max and do freedom still young people dont want to learn nowadays ,lots of these vulcanizers, mechanics, hairdressers etc are beginning to lack omo ise

I feel it has to do with everything being in the fast lane nowadays.


But there are still some who are ready to serve,

Mtcheww

The dude is even blaming the devil, that girl should run as fast as her legs can carry her.

I don't blame you sha

bukatyne:
You have forgotten the 'right to cheat' because they are the 'head/men'

Loool

Let's not even go there oo

Toks2008:
What are you talking about?

Did you not see my post. Am i not the OP?

No vex just noticed.

But your post might not be practical in naija and you know why.

Toks2008:
Guy biko if you want to live long, encourage your wife to hustle and take some financial responsibility too.

The world is in recession and only a joint effort can sustain the family.

For instance if you live abroad a man can never shoulder all responsibilities else he will just drop dead.

You pay house rent or mortgage, water bills council tax, electricity and ofcourse some debts from installment payment and then you feed the family and still remember home... And guess what? The lady is also working so what will she be doing with her own money?

Save it or probably start building mansions back home and sending money to her own family whilst she still has enough to save.

Then you die before your time and she will claim the life insurance and enjoy it with another man.

Be wise bro. Traditional roles died long ago.

I am a lady oo

But you didn't say anything about the man taking domestic responsibility , I can't see that any where in your write up advising me as a male to take any domestic responsibility.

I know you might not respond now you know I am female.


Advice your fellow men to take domestic responsibility too, women are providing already ,same way financial burdens can kill the man is the same way a woman can die carrying both financial and domestic burdens.

You want one person to carry two responsibilities while you are carrying only one, its not nice.

Tell the men to do chores women are providing already shikena.

And traditional roles are not dead if not you won't see guys on these thread saying they can't do domestic work.

Since they can't let them provide fully now.

Don't bring abroad into this issue, all those shouting they can't do chores do it with joy over there, Nigeria is the case study

Anyway I salute the real men out there who at least acknowledge its their responsibility even though economic constraint may prevent them from providing fully. And to those that provide all na man you be.

bukatyne:
I see a lot of male posters going on about how Nigerian women would never split bills.

Sorry to burst your bubble, more women are willing to split the bills than men willing to split the chores.

Dont mind them Most Nigerian men will never split chores but they want women who split bills.

All of them posting know this, besides women are splitting bills already, its the men that need to do chores.

One of the reasons I don't blame full housewives sometimes.

Let them kuku be providing but we also know a higher percentage can't even provide fully for their family.


Which Nigerian man wants to split chores - Very very few in fact none - why because of ego I guess.

Let that ego be used to fully provide EOD

Friend22:
Personally and religiously ,it's a man's role and responsibility to take of his wife not splitting bills.
I know many will not agree to.this ,but I dont gibe a flying hoot.

I am here wondering the kind of entitled and emasculated men we are raising.

Don't get me wrong,the man should be the sole provider until there comes a time a lady may need to step in .
But the primary role of a woman is to be maintained, cared for and be protected.

@bolded preach it but the romance section boys will soon come for you.

The fact that some men don't see providing as their responsibility is baffling. Kudos to real men out there that at least acknowledge its their responsibility even if economic constraints may neccesitate the wife's financial support


To provide fully they can't or don't want to, oya let the woman also hustle and you help running with chores lailai.

Most women are already providing, its the men that need to do chores.

People seem not to get the main issue

Her husband thinks she is lying that 4k can't be enough for the week. Even if he doesn't have that doesn't mean he should be in denial that 4k can't last a family of four ( without foodstuffs at home) for one week.

If you don't have , its understandable but don't make the woman look stupid like she doesn't know how to manage or something.

He should buy the foodstuffs himself with the 4k for one week if he thinks she's lying. If its only adults they can drink garri and water but little children is another ball game entirely oo

Only Half crate of egg is 900 protein for children, let's say quarter 450 naira.

As usual NL boys have started insulting the woman.

What I find surprising is the way people who I doubt even attend MFM will always recommend MFM in these issues.

Sebi they said their prayers are strange, die by fire die by fire, wahala come now they is shouting MFM, to criticize churches/ pastors is very easy.

Lots of times its we humans that put ourselves in problems, create problems for pastors and for churches. Point is its very easy to lose/ destroy but to gain back/ build is difficult same also applies in the spiritual realm. She has lost it by her own actions not by mistake, except by divine intervention will she gain it back

Let her go and do the MFM deliverance hopefully God will have mercy .

perambulator:
Our problem in Nigeria is a collective problem. The big man will use his contacts to flout the law, the poor civil servant who actually wants to do his job will comply for fear of losing his job or advancement, in the end he realises his efforts are only as good as the system he works in, so he complies and collects his bribe "how much are they paying me, i cant kill myself". So the cycle continues. We run a endemically corrupt system and I'm afraid it's hard to fix. Our system is based on connections and sentiment, it is part of the Nigerian pysche. Until at least half of Nigerians in positions of Authority, police, civil service, govt, etc etc can say if you do not follow the rules you cannot get xxxx... whether you are a relative, a big man, my tribes man, my fellow church goer etc etc, we are not going anywhere. Can you really see that happening?

Not in the nearest future

perambulator:
same thing was said after lekki gardens. Sadly it will happen again because no matter what laws you pass, Nigerians are at the wheel and we are not exactly known for ignoring bribes and sentiments or enforcing standards.

This is why I personally feel suspending the GM Lasbaca ( though a smart and good move) is not the solution, the officers, Head of Lasbaca for VI, all those ones that do inspection too should be sanctioned.

But then again looking at the location Osborne even if a level 8 monitoring officer reports to his District boss that this house is not fit enough and has flouted what was approved would the head do anything ?no, not because he doesn't know what is right but because those who own houses in that location are very very rich and most likely close to people in the corridor of power so everybody will just fem, nobody wants to get a query for doing what is right so most times they look away.

I am not ruling out the officers collecting money from the developer, to some of these people they will be like 'its not like anything will be done to him, we will write our report , we know nothing will be done because of the calibre of people involved let's collect it and look away' .

Now let's even assume the boss is a zealous one, once he begins to make moves to seal the building calls begin to come in from any and everywhere , pressure will be much and the guy who doesnt want to offend people that matter will let it slide ,Mr Governor won't be there that time oooo.

Its a deep cycle, a mess the Nigerian system does not even permit you to do the right thing most of the time even when you do, depending on who is involved, nothing may come out of it.

Our problem is systemic.Until anybody that flouts the law can get sanctioned without fear of harassing the officers that did the job we won't move ahead in times of compliance.


People who work in govt agencies especially regulatory agencies will understand perfectly

Please get green leaf, they will disappear fiaam.

DrTee1:
First, not everyone is in Lagos. Lagosians tend to think their small landmass is all of Nigeria. Lol.

Secondly, you seemed to skip the crux of my final paragraph analysis and dwelt on the outlier. Indeed, the average man works twice as hard as the average woman in today's Nigeria. Underline average: 1 in 2. 5 in 10. 100 in 200. The hardest jobs are male dominated, isn't it? Someone recently joked that beauty products have women headlining their advertorials while men are the poster boys for analgesics. The joke tells a deep message.

A man works till he enters the house. At home, he wants to bath and sleep The average working man - you are right - wouldn't necessarily be able to have sex every day. Primarily, as I wrote earlier, good women should be sexually compatible with their husbands and should before then, have express channels of verbal and non-verbal communication to know when the man wants to be served the midnight dish and when they want it from their men.

There is no excuse about a woman working at home. Men maintain the houses anyway: electricals, wiring, cars, repairs, gadgets, lifting heavy objects, installations etc in the house is often left for the male gender who often doesn't complain. Let's not talk about buildings and house rent.

My point is that nobody does it more. So there are no excuses for the scam sex that dries off after marriage by many of female gender in our society.

Loool, its Lagos and others

The bolded is what I have been saying, let's flip it, ' A woman works till she enters the house. At home, she wants to bath and sleep' . we both know its impossible but a man can do it. Except you are saying we don't have women who work and get home at night.

This negates your last paragraph, someone is actually doing it more - now it might not be the case of every family at least to a reasonable percentage let's say 60-70% this scenario always play out.

Let's not mention rent and school fees, lots of families share these bills in recent times.

My point is I feel a female who has to work all day to provide money and still has to 'work' the homely jobs after getting home is doing more than a man who works to also provide the same money only, as you know he can come in bathe and sleep but she can't.

Anyway I understand if you don't understand my point.

DrTee1:
I think this is fair. I like this robust response.

Now, it is a woman's personal fault if she marries a man who does not work at least AS HARD AS she does. When that is not the issue, then it is assumed that the man works just as hard from morning till night, as the woman.

What many women do need to understand is that sex is an antidepressant and a natural relaxant for a man. It has little to do with whatever exists in pornography. At the end of it anyway, pornography is filming sexual acts between men and women in many instances.

Regardless of how hard the average man works, he is usually available to have at least one round of intercourse on the average day. It helps to relax and sleep and wake up with a clear, balanced mind ahead of the next day's work. Get it, the way to a good marriage is said to be a full stomach and an empty scrotum.

A sexually starved or frustrated man is scientifically proven to have higher than average levels of testosterone and androgenic hormones. This drives their alpha masculinity and sees them aggressive. The one who enjoys regular normal sex, whether from his wife or side chics is likely to have low or normal levels of testosterone and similar androgens running wild in the bloodstream.

In many marriages, women even use sex as a weapon of family negotiations. This repulses many men and opens the door wide open to extra marital affairs. When women learn these things, life would be a lot easier for both parties. It has little to do with porn.

If you are male, imagine having to solve algebra when you have blue balls. You can never succeed. A poor man is not to be refused sex by his wife, really. When it comes to hustling, the average woman does not hustle as hard as her male counterpart for daily bread anyway, so what is the special thing about a woman working hard all day like the average man does?

Do women hawk or do business harder than men?

I understand your 2nd and 3rd paragraphs perfectly, how sex relaxes men and all that but I just want to point at the bolded.

It's actually special when you have to hustle hard like a man and still come back home to start all over again working.

That's what makes it special , The man that is available for one intercourse daily most likely has no more work at home ( this is for a sizeable amount of men) the woman who might be unavailable for intercourse has worked as hard as a man out there and will do more work when back home, its not rocket science she will be tired, she's human after all.

Except there are pallatives,help etc it will continue to occur or as some women do they will just let you do the do while they just lie there some men will also complain about that too, that the woman is not responsive during the act.

The problem is a lot of men like you have stated don't see anything special in a woman working hard all day as a man does as they don't understand that the work still continues at home until men understand this point, issues like this will continue to occur.

This is also a reason why as bad as the economy is and all hands need to be on deck to provide income for them family ( in reality how many men can provide ALL the family needs in this buharis economy) I try not to fault full time housewives, let them stay at home do the work all day , try and rest in between , let him go and bring the money we will all spend and hopefully she will be more available for once a day intercourse as making money is not her concern .

Wait first do married people really have sex daily ? In this same Lagos.

femiasaolu2014:
Instead of sending invasive messages to the contact list of loan defaulters, they should have adopted the offline loan recovery method of LAPO Microfinance Bank.

Those guys will publicly shame you, they can go as far as bringing a local band and start playing and singing songs of your refusal to repay them outside of your house or office etc.

They are so aggressive in their methods that they have a very low NPL portfolio, it works for them and they haven't yet drawn the ire of regulators.

Not every time app, app, technology. Sometimes go hardcore, as some Nigerians are stubborn goats.

Lool those lapo people are something else and they do get their funds.

they have a very high customer base, all those market women use them, they even have Lapo meeting sef, once your repayment time is coming close, its the meeting people that will be on the persons neck as they do sign as guarantor for each other. One of my church members house is used as the location of their meetings. They have a strong system that works for them.

I have never seen a high level of fear as a debtor like this lapo people, these women always try to resolve the matter before the Lapo staff get involved and its always very brutal when you default.

The embarrassment is always terrible, but of course that's always the last resort.

Point is Nigerians generally don't like paying back.

akpunda86:
Haha nairaland is not my wife but part of my family cos we all have benefitted from d site thou Seun Na stingy man
Im doing d shopping morrow cos know wat I'll buy will last but if she go Na anoda story I no wan food wahala January

Kindly give us feed back make I know current price .

Its lawful to serve someone a quit notice but trust Nigerians everything na sentiments.

So he wouldn't have built his house before or what?

Roseey0:
This one don make small change and now looking for excuse to cheat
Of all the reasons to cheat, he chose to dig up the lifestyle his wife lived in the past and called it revenge

Uwa mmebi

What I find funny about the thread is if it was about his wife's sexual history he would have emphasized more on it. ( I trust nairaland guys for that) his major grouse is the privileged background his wife had that he didn't have.
( check out his opening statements about his wife, it was all about how her family could provide and she didn't lack and this and she enjoyed herself and that ) , maybe he would have felt better if she also hawked oranges to go to school ( not a prestigious university).

I am not even a fan of boys and girls partying and clubbing in school but for me this OPs matter is very close to witchcraft, what this OP feels is pure envy and in all honesty I pity his wife he is a dangerous person to be around.

And you know the very hilarious part of it, even if he goes all out partying and clubbing womanizing he still won't feel fulfilled and that anger will still be there.

crackhaus:
Kai...

Technically yes we assume she has had the best of him, some women would be very indifferent at this stage and it would be the children doing the worrying out of shame but It seems mama is not indifferent and rightly so.

But seriously 85 year old ? What is papa looking for.
Who even dates an 85 year old man fear no catch the person ni to the extent baba has to be popping Viagra pills. Hmmm

Sorry sis but that property is gone, its now a family house .

Wonder why some men can't be truthful enough, you use income from your wife to co-build a house on your mother's land when you know it will become family property.

Count your losses, you not being a Nigerian by birth also makes it more complex.

Jeez, to think the thread you opened in February where he beat you up and you wantedd to move out was the one I opened first in this section , I checked the date it was February and I didn't bother commenting I just felt she would have left the guy since now, only for me to scroll down and read that you are planning to get married to that same guy.

For all that its worth I beg you please don't marry him, the chances you will regret this marriage is very high.

Don't do what you have written you will do, divorce is not a walk in the park its better you do not marry him please.

That's how they do, some are nice enough to include your name, others won't at all, despite you doing the bench work, spending the money and in some cases writing the manuscript.

Just leave them oo send it to him and send your full details ,academics is like a cult, they all know each other.

A colleague published his fiancees (both had their Msc in same dept, same year ) MSc project with both their names, he did the manuscript part, the fiancees supervisor also wanted to publish it sometimes later and it was discovered that same research work had been published in another journal, she was angry and they even had to apologize to her seriously , she was like the only way she would agree is if theywrite the journal to withdraw the article.

They did for peace to reign.

What I find amazing is how the body count emphasis on this thread is only about females.

It goes both ways, ladies would also be weary of a guy with a reckless past.

How people trivialize sex nowadays is amazing.

For those saying it was an old judgement, vanguard said the judgment was given this 22nd of October .

Anyway its all good.

She grips a pencil, that seems okay for now what some kids do at that age is scribbling aka jagajaga. I never knew it was a learning process until I asked the creche lady and she told me to leave my son if he scribbles that it helps.

Get her colorful books, crayons , lots of babies like colors and coloring it attracts them. She will most likely love coloring .

Klass99:
Lol, God will always help if we just ask. My current accommodation was an answer to my prayers, especially the part about my landlord.

I saw a newly built one bedroom apartment in the area my office is, sweet and ideal for single people like me. But, you can do more in your life, with the rent sum for one year alone if you're a sensible person.

It was N8 Million. I didn't even ask if that was the total package or rent only .

This got me rolling on the floor, it most likely won't be the total package besides total package or not, its very expensive.

More reason why people will keep living on the mainland( not yaba , surulere mainland ooo interior interior mainland) and working on the Island.

8 million for room and parlour self contain

The OP is being mischievious , as an Ex commando, I am 100% certain that is not a command school.

It might be in the barracks e.g army day and others controlled by the state government but that is not a command school.

Even here in Lagos, the army day school and about another one in ojo cantonment are controlled by Lagos state govt their teachers are paid by Lagos state, even their principals.

Command schools are controlled by NAEC, some of them are even MOD staff.

Discipline and knowledge

crackhaus:
Does it matter if he would/could?

If she says she can lie to her parents about his status, the only problem there should be the lying/deceit on her part, not whether her partner can do the same.

Unless you have another motive sha...

Well the main issue is the deceit

Also I needed to confirm something

pocohantas:
As harsh as this is, it is the sad reality.

No woman, I mean, no NIGERIAN woman, should ever joke with the support of her family. You need it 100% and you must get it with clean hands.

Thank you oooo.

toren:
You can ask him yourself since you're really bothered and can't sleep at night.

Loool just like I thought .... no response


Have a lovely day miss

toren:
They have started. Hypocrites. Hypocrites that have never told a lie. I can say anything l like to anyone as long as I'm not hurting anyone in the process. Nobody lives my life for me.

Now take note, if I have to lie to protect the interest of my loved one, I will again, again and again.

Your stand is noted

But you have not yet answered my question

Would he lie to his parents about your own status?