₦airaland Forum

Spherical77:
This isn't love but obsession

How on earth would you lie to your parents almost everything about him? This is wrong if you don't know.

I read that post and I was shocked.

juman:
Only few families would allow their graduate girl marry ssce holder except he is very rich.
There are uncountable number of other ladies that are the same level like you.

Simple I don't even see what all the fuss is about, why is he even surprised it came up. Like the parents won't be interested to know the educational status of their child's fiance.

toren:
GraciousGod190, take the advice of this person I quoted for your own good. As a female myself, I can tell you that she's 100% right.

If she really wanted you, nothing in this world would make her reveal to her family that you have only SSCE , even if a gun was pointed to her head. Forget the tears she's shedding.

The person I'm in love with is an ND holder. I did not only tell my mum that he has BSc, also lied about his job/financial status. I can't let my family or anyone else for that matter look down or judge him. Besides, it's nobody's business.

So, your girl is either playing you or is too childish to handle such matters.

If you have to lie to your parents about the status(educational, financial , health whatever it is) of your fiance something is inherently wrong somewhere.

Would he lie to his parents about your own status.

Na real wa

missidy:
Ok, I don't really know much about it. If those school of nursing don't have professors or experienced lectures, then they are producing quacks. I saw the way nursing students who we went to the same university suffered, that course is not an easy one at all. They never had holidays. During hols we would be flexing, while they were in the hospital or having classes. Then someone who learnt by the corner would come and be dragging nurse title with those who earned it. Worst still putting people's lives in danger.

Do you live in Nigeria, do you have anyone that attended school of nursing in Nigeria?

Those who attend school of nursing are not quacks, they are trained by qualified lecturers, at least the schools I know in Lagos. Getting admission is like war, highly competitive.


The person the OP talked about is likely a quack, those that 'learn work' or are called auxiliary nurses. Quack Private hospitals seems to be the one training them. They now open one chemist shop and everyone calls them nurse.

The nursing profession should do something quickly to curb this menance. Same thing they did to pharmacists , its happening to nurses now. Fake people everywhete

BRATISLAVA:
If only men stopped playing victim about these things.

https://www.nairaland.com/6788228/cost-getting-married-poor-family#106486560

Here is a similar situation. 8 years of dating and he suddenly can't marry because she's suddenly illiterate because she's an SSCE holder. She has not created a thread to make the author of the thread look bad.

Is this the new breed of slaymen who whine and bring everything online?

That thread cane to my mind first.

I honestly don't see what the issue is here, if you can find a way to convince her parents to let their daughter marry you with SSCE, do that if they dont agree move. They have their reasons.

It's quite uncommon where I come from for an SSCE holder to marry a graduate but it used to be very common in another part of the country back then.

McLizbae:
All I know is that the God I serve will never let my daughter settle with a man she's higher than financially, educationally and intellectually.

Loool una no go kee person with laugh on NL, lool @ the God I serve.

Interesting thread,

The reminds me of the Tosin ajayi, Helen Priest and oluwayemisi Ajayis case.

Even after about 30years of separation, first wife reminded them that she and her husband never divorced and Helen priest was never a legal wife and she was ready to let the love child be a beneficiary of the Estate although the child was never introduced to the family as her husbands child.


The law might turn a blind eye to polygamy even cheating but when matters arise we all understand the importance of getting married legally.

A whole lot

Great relationships, so much wealth of information.

Got Jobs, husband, business ideas. Its a total package for me ooo. God bless nairaland.

She should also call them Orobo playfully as they are calling her baby.


All these children ehn oriahirishi dey their hand.

Wait first 5year old is just a little older than toddlers. That age range too are calling someone baby

They will all get over it jare.

Richy4:
if u were a man or a doctor/ a nurse, then we can discuss...are u saying that a doctor's report was not necessary in all these?

Do you need a doctors report to know if the manhood cannot erect? The man said he knew since he was young, let's even assume he was a teenager then, after he became an adult , pastor and before the wedding , you think he still won't know if he can't get an erection?

How did he now know his impotence disappeared that day he had stomach upset? He had an erection shikena.

Something's are so simple no need to complicate them.


@ topic, I read everything word for word, the headline is even sensational as usual ,that's just a little fraction of the story. Its a story of his journey of life and ministry etc etc.

I like the man sha sharp man, even after he heated Gods voice that this is your wife, he quickly positioned himself to where he can know more about the lady and waited for the appropriate time to make a move not all these nowadays brothers that will be jumping about with 'God told me you are my wife' and disturbing the peace of every sister here and there.

ramatuoyiza:
My mental health is at stake and I dont know if there is anyone in this kind of situation.. I have no perfect words to describe my mom. Always have issues with my dad and the rest of my siblings, She speaks without regards to one's age or how you feel, there are times I cant control my anger and we exchange words.. Am in my late 20's, from a muslim home, yet to be married but in a serious relationship now my mom clearly hates the guy am seeing just because he is married and a secondorian, a business man whom I know is a good man and can cater for the family. She use bad words like that illiterate, a ghanian and old man, someone who is in his 40's. I have told her severally, am not getting younger, living with you alone is hell for me. Why then do you hate someone who loves your daughter, I dont know how I survive the corona period, because she made my life unbearable, until I got a job, yet she still troubles me. How do you stand a mom that wishes your blessings go to your other siblings, she tells you to your face. She wished my elder sister was the one who got this job because she would hv given her more, and I told her as long as you dont appreciate what I give you, I cant be my sister, I can go and on and on, my mom quarells with everyone, my dad, my siblings, she doesnt know how to communicate or speak to a grown child, yet she claims you are challenging her or being rude to her. All my life, I have never had that mother to daughter relationship because you tell her something today, she insults you with it tomoro. How can a mother tell you that anytime my lover calls me, she feels so disgusted that what am doing with such a low class,
My mother is someone who doesnt know how to make sacrifice for her children without complaining, even cooking, she complains that I cant go to work and expect her to cook for me, how much am I giving her at the end of the month. Should a mother say this to her child.
I need to see a counsellor, my mental health is at stake. My mother has no plain respect for her children, she says mean words and yet expect you to swallow it because she is your mother. Yet cries wolf when you reply her
Am moving to a new place soon, for those of you who may think how can an adult still be living with her parents.. I live in the north and its very degrading for a single girl to live alone, I never wanted that kind of life, my reason fr even moving out its because my parents are relocating.
Ok what broke the camels neck yesterday was after work, came in so tired and sick, without even relaxing, my mom was telking me to take the gas out for filling, this was something dat finished since morning bfr I left for work. And I told her, I cant go, I feel sick, the next thing she said was but hope as you are sick, you would go to work tomorrow. I said ofcourse, this work is my saving grace. Its the reason I take care of my needs. That was how my mom started saying some mean things, things you will never say to a child.. Aaah my mother is my greatest frustration on earth.. How did I get so unlucky, if you have a mom who is your friend, you are blessed. I cant really blame her. Her mother was also absent from her life, she lacked parental love.
But I know so many mothers who didnt have it good but yet love their children equally. Pls advise me, correct me, my mind is full, my head hurts, my heart aches.. Who has such a mother like mine.

Well Muslim or not most mothers will have their reservations about their less than 30year old daughter planning to marry a married man in his 40s. So nothing is wrong with her complaint, she has every right to state her concerns. I would also advise you to look before you leap.

As for the gas did you expect her to Carry the cylinder and fill it while you were away because you were insinuating it was empty since morning or what exactly? Do you have younger ones around who could have helped ?I can't relate with this part.

She might have her own issues but you too consider her points.

I have one intern assigned a( well loaned to me from another dept since his distance is quite far to their own area office and he's closer to mine) to me now and his attitude is not it at all. I will call him , he would pick and wouldn't say hello, when I look at the timer to confirm if someone has truly picked I would say hello and he would answer 'yeah' .

We work mostly on the field, he's working from home, compiling some data on excel and I have to forward some info to him on watsap, Dude won't even acknowledge

I had to tell him that you read messages and you acknowledge.

I wanted to think he doesn't know but he knows what is right and is nonchallant about it, the attitude is 'after all there's no guarantee I would be given a full time employment'

Just one week working with him I am gradually getting pissed, its a wrong way to even address a fellow intern not to talk of your boss.

Is he good with the job he's doing- Yeah
Is his attitude right- No

If employed he can't survive the agency I work with for one month with that attitude. Lailai.

My former boss wouldnt even recommended him for this simple reason.

I just keep wondering how people with many children and little income are coping with the way things are. Even people that have decent incomes are feeling the heat too.

I was looking for oloyin beans today round my local market , the last ABOKI I asked from told me arrh madam e no dey, e too cost that woman there(points 2 shops away) get yesterday but na 4,200 she sell paint and derica 800 and e don finish sef.

I now started looking at the orishirishi beans displayed.
Take this one madam and I ask wetin be the name, this one na potkissum e dey sweet like oloyin, you sure ? Yes madam na him all my oloyin customers dey buy, how much oo, na 2,800

Oya Bring one paint,

if truly e sweet like oloyin my allegiance has shifted to this specie straight.

Lots of parents can't even afford to boil one egg for their children's meal again.


@ topic I can't even calculate how much is spent on food daily.

mariahAngel:
For real? Hey god!


Ladycare too.

Yeah, and it was quite nice ooo , gentle on the skin no leaky leaky.

Ulunne777:
Molped,almost minute and extra comfy its as if it isnt there.

other times ,Diapers.

Saw this on a FB page where lots of mothers were testifying about using their babies diapers out of curiousity I tried it once, it was nice.

@ topic Ladycare

EgusiShankly:
It does not work for me.. It even seems like juice to the parasites cos there won't be any positive effect

Lool @ juice, individuals reacting to drugs differently might be the reason.

12 PSPs for the LGAs in Oyo state is too small to start with.

pocohantas:
Una dey always get options when young na.

That time sense is not found and gbola is very active. Naso una go dey do like Hitler. Claiming men-are-polygamous-in-nature.

You people forget na una old age dey do strong things pass. Small thing, stroke, kidney failure, diabetes. By that time, all your options (side-chicks) are long gone. You’ll now be blackmailing your virtuous wife into becoming a personal nurse. Reminding you to take your drugs and cooking oilless vegetable soup with plantain swallow.

If God come punish you with woman wey sabi revenge. She would leave you at home and go for omugwo in the US permanently. You will na wear obituary t-shirt and sit in front of your bungalow with a newspaper, watching every movement. One useless redpiller will see you there and come to create thread. “Men take care of yourselves, what I noticed with my neighbour”. The moomoo won’t ask the neighbour how he landed in that situation.

You men won’t give a woman your youth, but when your engine has knocked, you will return home to saddle her with a badly maintained Nigerian used body. Nonsense!

Happy Anniversary to the couple.

Una no go kee person with laugh on this NL.

Dozis:
There are people that do not take any other anti malarial apart from Lonart and they get better with it, your case could be drug resistance.

I was even surprised when I saw P alaxin, I react to that drug serious nausea, the doctor then told me to stop it immediately and then sometime later it was prescribed for my mum, told her not to take it because if I react to it there's a possibility she will. She didn't listen and the exact same effect she also had to stop the drug ,no other way I can explain it than nausea but its a not so nice feeling.

Since then (more than 10 years now) we all run from p-alaxin .

its the artmeter lumenfantrine drugs for malaria that we seem to tolerate well and the cheap ones even work too.

Good day please what can be done to fix this blue screen.


It first started with the laptop not shutting down completely until the battery drains. Then it shows this stuff very often, now more often than before.

I had brought it back from the service center where i was told the panel was bad and they changed it because it was still under warranty. Prior to that it was new laptop I just tested it and kept it away, only for me to put it on about 10months later and it didn't come on.

About 1 month after the repair the non shutting down issue started, then very recently this blue screen wahala.



'stop code system thread exception not handled

What failed: iaStorAVC.sys

This woman and her matters with married men, it is well

Let's hear what the youths have to say then


But your son doesn't regard you or his father simple.

At least he has a track record and something we can point to( even if its govt contracts) , not those that when we ask the source of their wealth- no story nothing.

He is a very smart man, to have moved to private business, govt contracts don't last forever , its not like in the 80s/ 90s anymore.

First time I am hearing of him.

NPTJ:
We only know his home town. We don't know his compound

Yes we know some of his siblings, but they all based in the east

When my dad called him three days ago, he said he'd be travelling and he doesn't have money to buy his wife a small phone to keep in touch with her and her family

Then you guys should take it from their end to at least talk to their brother.

NPTJ:
I would want to be anonymous with regards to the man hometown as some Nigerians could be tribal biggot taking everything too personal you know

If you guys know the hometown do you know his family/ compound he comes from. If yes have you guys tried to at least contact some of his people?

greatiyk4u:
This is the crux of the matter
Cultural variations is what is playing out here.


At this point visiting your sister may not yield any immediate positive results, you need to consult elders in his village first.

Which elders ?which village? Do they even know the village he is from apart from the state IMO
Do they even know the elders? At least if he came for bride price payment sebi people would have followed him and they will be able to point to some people that these are his people
Have they gone for any of their family functions?

That is the main issue from my own perspective, its the woman that knows the mans people ( thats even if she goes to his village) and can tell them who and who to meet.

ziondaughter247:
So you mean your parents and 4 able bodied men could not help your sister out in paying her school fees to study Law in a school like Unilag? Your sister seems like an intelligent and ambitious person and I just feel that your family contributed to killing the dreams of their only girl and making her what she is today. Your parents and family seemed very non-challant towards her education and she saw the handwriting on the wall that she will not receive any form of support from her family. Does your family have a bias against sending girls to school? She is the only girl and daughter and all of you failed her when she needed you the most. All this would have been prevented if she was in school.

She is probably still resentful and avoiding you all now. Hope it is not because of money you people now what to keep in touch with her?

Please don't be insensitive, of course it might have been prevented if she was in school but it would most likely have been avoided if she didnt open her legs for him now if they had the money at that point, wouldn't they have paid the fees.

Was it the parents that forced her to open her legs for a man almost 20years older.

She is not the first girl to work, save and go school without sleeping with men. I know a 21 year old currently working, saving small small with the aim of buying jamb form and going to school next year, she delayed WAEC for 2 yrs because of money, her mum is Yoruba and her father IBO somewhere in Anambra state. The woman couldn't afford it from her business and no money from the father , 3 grown up children the revered first son is even there too.
Life is very hard for a lot of Nigerians OK

Almost Similar scenario wrong choices, these ones i jist talked about even married properly.Good thing is these children I talk about are smart and disciplined enough to keep their legs shut.

Now that she is with the man, ordinary phone she can't get and you actually think this is about money?

She failed her self if you ask me, she has most of the blame.

madjune:
Sad. I can tell your family is Ibo. I can relate on that.
The man is supposed to perform the necessary marriage rites before taking your sister.
This is particularly sensitive, with your sister's place as the only girl and first daughter of her mother.
She's supposed to be close to your mother into her grey years, or else your mom will be heartbroken sooner or later.

Now, the man isn't diabolical.
I'm sure he's irresponsible. A well bred man would be in touch with your family, broke or not.
He will face his karma soon.
He only took advantage of your sister's economic status. She's poor.
Equally, he's taking advantage of your family, knowing you guys are poor and can't do nothing.
He won't try this rubbish with a well to do family. No.

The way forward is, your father and his kins should trace this man's roots. Go there and summon his village elders to a meeting. Table the matter.

I'm sure his village elders would intervene.

The OP has said somewhere in the thread that they are Yoruba.

The so called non dowry paying husband is wicked , he can't try what he did with an Igbo woman without consequence, someome would have traced his family compound and summoned him he knows they are Yoruba( (they don't even know his kinsman, his village and most likely his family) and poor so they can't do much, more reason why he moved them out of Lagos to portharcourt.

They can't trace his people to the village, nobody to even report him to if they want to, I am certain if that man was Yoruba like them they would have been able to trace his village/family at least

The man is a wicked man, he knows exactly what he is doing, more reason why he didn't get her a phone, do I blame him no, I blame the lady who got pregnant for a man and was not smart enough to at least allow him come with his people to do something on her head before taking her away, to make it worse its someone not from their tribe so her family knows no one they can relate with from his side.

If they both decide to vanish to the thin air today, there is no way the family can trace him.

armstrongadeola:
She even blocked me right now .

I am done with her ..

She said she didn't see the alert of #5,000 as if she doesn't know how much she took.

It is fine anyway

Okay now that you are done with her what do you want us to do?

This matter pass the 5k honestly

If this is how people claim 'I am done with her' for every issue, most marriages will be divorced OK.

Nawa ooo

What if it was a simple error?

And even if she lied why not settle the mata with her.

Whatever the 5k was used for is definitely not even a big something in this economy.

You are already using a very strong language with your tone and the statements you are making.

You have lost trust in her,
you have never benefitted anything from her
Etcetc.

This mata never reach that level ooo, all you got to do is ask her simple. If it was not an error shes wrong but ask her to tell you.

Please free her so she will accept other suitors since you don't like her dark skin, not after turning down others you will now open a thread on NL saying you want to let her go after 8years and paying bride price.

Let her go since you don't value her nor like the color of her skin or changing facial features,despite the fact she doesn't use make up. You don't even love her sef.

Klass99:


@ Area74, I think you're right and I agree.

I also think it works better if the husband is Yoruba and the wife Igbo than the other way round.