₦airaland Forum

Chiomamoses:
Good evening dear , thanks for ur concern we have moved out and relocate to a new place far away from them. We are doing well my husband got a new job and I started my own business didn't give them any of my children all five children are with us. Thanks again and God bless you.

Pheww, very good I am happy @ the bolded.

Thank God it ended in praise ooo

God will answer them soonest.

That's how one guy opened thread and was worried his father in law spent so much during his daughter's wedding that it will affect him in future abi how did he even put it sef.

He was so worried that people knew his FIL spent so much his ego seemed to be at stake That's how everybody started assuring him more like appeasing him sef that that's how it's done ooo especially as his FIL is a yorubaperson.

A simple solution is for some guys to stop getting married from families that can spend on their daughters wedding, marry the one that you will sponsor everything so your ego will still be intact. If your ego can't handle it, go for the other ones. Shikena.

All these threads ko necessary rara.


It's like some people don't even know in lots of cultures brides family entertain their guests(husband's family) during their traditional stuff.

So the 3-7 days you will wait once in a month is a big issue.

If she now has a baby nko what will happen when you have to wait for her to heal.

Self control is very key in all aspects of life(sex included)

Loool

She goes to school
She goes to church
She licks baby milk and snacks.

The major problem you have with her is coz she eats so much.
I don't see much of the problem here except for the chores which she is supposed to help with.

She's not wayward or disrespectful

Treat her the way you would treat your sister.

Onyiiobi7735:
Nnam you are not alone.
That's what our youths are only good at,when Chinese youths,South African youths,European youths are engaging in innovative and creative activities to better their nations.
Sex is what gives Naija youths sleepless nights.
Do I blame Bubu for calling us Lazy?

The Mata just Taya me

Sex sex sex

Nawa ooo

Mtcheww

There's no dragging or anything in the YouTube video, he was only telling what type of dressing was allowed by the nursing council and he mentioned the niqab and big hijab worn by those 3 ladies is not allowed when they are on uniform, and that the appropriate length when on uniform is shoulder length shikena

So where is muric getting the drag of drag of from.

All these bloggers will set this country on fire oo

delpee:
Abi o. I wonder why many are swallowing pills for other people's headaches. Amebos just forming their own stories by viewing the video from their own perspective. How do we know that Lola had no part to play in the reconciliation process? Las las, Peter and Lola will remain happy together.

Amenooo, to the disappointment of chochoxho people.

Firstcitizen:
Is it your weight? Oversabi poke nose. Shebi Peter wrote you a letter to complain about her weight? Haters be hiding under dishing advice. Gerrerraahia!

Don't mind Nairalanders now it's about her weight, she s no longer a witch abi.

I wonder who did this to these people sha

Chochocho people will never rest.

At least Lola will rest from all the chochocho people on Nairaland.

Pele OP times are hard.

People are barely surviving.

bukatyne:
But richer men give their wives random cash gifts: change your car, change your wardrobe, buy this diamond set etc. etc.

Why can't the OP gift her husband a new car or whatever toy that catches his fancy?

@OP:

A very complex issue.

This is where feminism, red pill and other ideologies fall flat under intense scrutiny.

Men & women don't think the same way and want same things.

Before someone comes to say that's how the men are brought up:

I am not disputing nurture however there must be something innate, natural that makes a significant number of romantic relationships where the women earns way higher an extreme sport. And this is across all races.

If the wife is not disrespectful, the husband's insecurities lets him see war everywhere while the in-laws are 100% certain that the man is emasculated.

The things the wife would get away with while poor becomes the most disrespectful thing ever and she has to bend backwards & stretch herself thin to keep peace.

This is where religion comes in: to subdue/kill that natural tendency to behave as the above.

You are right oo sister.

When it comes to a woman marrying a man not earning as much as her, the man has to be a different breed and very mature not the typical boys we have out there.


Lots of men(Nigerian men to be precise) can't cope with a woman earning more, their egos can't allow it.

Although in this case specifically, she should have loaned him, if he now mismanages it ehen. We now have an issue.

FanOfMyself:
They are very jealous and envious people. Be at guard whenever you are around any Yoruba man. I prefer Fulani to them.
Nwannem

No need to bring tribal issue to this

The most envious ,jealous and bitter person I ever met is an Igbo lady I lived with during NYSC and I definitely cannot say 'they are jealous and envious people'
because that is her own personality.

That lady showed me pepper

Ofadaman:
Lol, you mean o, the thing is, the guy has been there for me when I needed help before, and he gives good advice, but I'm beginning to see him for what he is, he'd be happy to see me do well but not better than him. This new job will make me earn trice as much as he earns and he's struggling to believe that I'm be the one in a position to offer help to him, he's always known it all, I took all his advice, I just figured be didn't just want me to grow above him in any way. I see how he brings this job thing up so frequently in every discussion we have, if for instance, we go get food to it, he'd say stuff like 'in few weeks now, you go eatdone get money to they order food for me', every conservation ends up with me getting the job and earning better", no matter how I try to avoid the conversation. He's drowning in envy and I'm worried that I need to avoid him before he does something unimaginable ,I'm scared

Avoid him, people like that are terrible and can kill. I pray you get the job an leave , then keep him at arm's length abeg oo.

Havilaah1:
Really wish he can see this. They're making it look like all brides to be are usually close to their in laws before marriage.
When one saw me during the wedding, she jokingly said see our wife that we'll soon sack. Didn't know they've been saying this.

There's a 80percent chance you will have serious issues with this family if you marry them and your fiance won't be one to defend you.

Relationships with in-laws are meant to be polite and cordial simple. Any bestie relationships with inlaws especially the siblings in law most times end with premium tears.

There's a family event to attend attend it, do your duties as a wife, respect every one, if they come visit treat them nicely.

Any unnecesary closeness 90percent of the time ends in tears.

I honestly don't see what you have done wrong, you even call on the birthdays and give gifts even when you are not yet a wife, you even try

He wants you to be gist buddies with his siblings or what?

bobowaja:
That marriage will soon crash. The op is a wrong groom.

No matter what you give, in yorubaland, the bride family host the wedding and whatever they spend will be assumed to be partly collected from the groom. Whatever added to it is also the responsibility of the bride family for their daughter. This is why I don't like intertribal marriages. There will always be cultural shocks. And op and his families are not taking it lightly for the help rendered. His families will start to frustrate that innocent girl.

That's my fear oo, maybe he comes from a place where the groom bears all the costs, but he should have had an idea about how it's bride's family that is the host in Yoruba land and despite the fact that people on this thread have told him severally that it's nothing to worry about, he still seems worried. I hope now it has gotten on FP and several people have attested to it his mind might be at rest. Intertribal marriages does have its disadvantages sha

mastermaestro:
Yeah I get your point sir. Well since his in-laws haven't been disrespectful to him, I don't think they will now. So long as he is not dependent on them for his daily upkeep, he is good. He just needs to treat their daughter nicely like every good husband. The only part he silently mentioned in his one of his replies was that his girl likes quarrel. Let's take that her little baggage which he can manage.

The long and short is that he didn't beg for the assistance he got Whatever assistance they rendered was not even to him in the real sense, but for their own pleasure and ego. Abi them carry the 8 bags of rice give am? He met his own budget Simple.

So it is none his business really. He is a man running his own house now. He should enjoy his life, love his wife and be the oga.

The OP is not seeing it the way you and some of us are seeing it which is father in law hosted the guests EOD

He is concerned( using a mild word) that it was clear to all and sundry that the FIL did all the extra stuff's like the extra drinks extra food and all. Possibly he might have felt better there were no extra stuff's or it was not visible to all where they came from.

Not a healthy thinking at all, this line of thought will begin to grow and grow and resentment for his wife's family will set in if he's not careful. If they buy clothes for baby wahala, if they say this wahala, if wife talks too much wahala.

It's even better the bride's father spent the money on the rice and cows than giving it to the couple, if the FIL did give them the money only God knows what the OP would be thinking.

Biglittlelois:
Good to know

Now I see your angle at the bolded, that display of yams at the traditional wedding is a thing of pride for the Ile Iyawo when it is big and plenty, I never saw it this way some even go as far using ribbons as bow tie on each yam to make them look colourful, I've seen such display in most wedding parties these days, my people and flashy ariya ehn

Exactly.

Biglittlelois:
You get am very very well, they always take it personal with the yams if it is not complete or tiny, I wonder why, and all other things can be excused o, you can imagine

Are you Yoruba?

@ bolded yes.


The yam issue is always very personal, maybe because it's not always wrapped and everybody can see how it looks max
is for them to place them in big basket but eyes can still see it.

Some even overlook the quantity ,one person mentioned that it's better to bring 20 pieces of healthy looking yams than 40 pieces of malnourshed yams.

Tonero5200:
Am scared if they are going to use it against me later.


Like to curse me, or tell me word that will pain me in the future.

I know my girl, she can quarrel for africa but I do love her.

Use what against you? That they killed cows and cooked bags of rice for their own daughter wedding?

You paid bride price and brought list didn't you? The the only thing that I know can be used against you is if you didnt marry the girl properly .

All these thoughts doesn't apply here oo. It's not a big deal.

What part of Nigeria are you from?

Wedding that different people from the bride's family can cook/bring different caterers ,not even the bride's father sef.

Oga go enjoy your marriage jare.

No need to be worried, it's because you are not Yoruba that's why you are worried.

Since they are Yoruba, culturally the bride's family is suppose to host the wedding I mean take care of all hosting expenses i.e feeding drinks etc, it's the way things are economically , income level of the family, evolution of culture etc that has changed the narrative.

Yoruba families that are well to do still do such nowadays.

You brought the traditional requirements and cooked and did all that you were supposed to do and that is enough.

If they decide to cook 20bqgs of rice and trailer load of drinks it doesn't mean you should get worried it's their daughter they are giving away.

The one Yoruba families will never stop talking about is if you brought tiny looking yams to marry iyawo 20 years down the line we go still talk am.

Limassol:
You have no idea,do you?

The more hostility and agression shown to her the more she rebel... Seizing that phone only solve the problem temporarily.

Many have been there, and if anything Is learned is that, phases like this are transitory and not a really a big deal if treated with empathy, understanding and diplomacy.

@bolded yeah right, not really a big deal till it gets completely out of hand then you will know it is a really bigbl deal.

That transition stuff was like 15-20 years ago times have changed , children are getting more daring.

Maybe I am the only one thinking indecent is sexually related.

We are not even talking about chatting oo even chatting should have some limits

If it is anything near indecent /sexual the phone is gone. First things first then we now 'talk' about it. IF she needs some brain resetting it will be done.

With all the nonsense even 14 year olds are doing nowadays,it's better not to take that risk.

This girl is not even talking to her parents, not eating and not doing chores because her phone was seized. Chai.She needs some brain resetting. She has guts ooo

authority2006:
She might not have dated him. There was this girl, we were close, very close. I asked her to date me, she turned me down. She turned me into her uncle for many years and I accepted my fate with her. Years later, I introduced another woman who was ready to marry me to her and I knew she felt hurt, really hurt. People are really funny, that's my point

I kept wondering why people are saying it's not possible she didn't have anything to do with him.

They never see something

But then most boys on NL think one must have slept or romanced a guy if you are close to him.

I don't believe it's just a phase, children of this days are something else secondary school children are doing whatsome of us dare not do back then even in our 20s, curb it before it turns to something else.




I was 17 in the university on holiday when my cousin called my line to come open the door, he didn't want to knock to wake everybody,vit was busy by 1am . Mtn extra cool things . He sent me a text , drop that call now and open the gate, I was like mogbe .

He asked who I was talking to for over 15 minutes he had tried and tried , it was this coloured screen phones back then , I don't think i could see incoming calls while on another call
It was a friend of a friend (a boy.)not a boy friend. The dude actually called my friend spoke with him and introduced himself as my cousin ooo and even saved his no, he was in his 30s then. When he dropped the call he said he wanted to he sure I wasn't talking to a thirty something year old like himself possibly so they wouldnt deceive me .

Even 5years later he still had the number on his phone and we both laughed about it. I received lecture that 1.30am.


Ordinary extracool, I explained and explained.

Indecent chat ke? That phone is gone niyen.

You are already finding indecent chat (I am assuming it's sexually related) that's how it will start to ehen. If you can seize the phone seize it.

I don't believe in all this kind of parenting we do nowadays

nautybride:
Mtcheeew. If you had slept with him, if you are saying the truth, he would have dropped your sorry ass.
His lack of concentration is because this investment is down the drain without choping kpekus!

Better stay focused and face front. Don't disappoint another lovely male specie with good intentions.




I dey Waka pass. Bye o.

nairaland oooo


Looool,

officialmario:
Yes, they are not together again, they had two girls together... according to what I heard from source, the woman is HIV positive and back to Nigeria.

Ahaa something must have triggered the return.

She should forgive him, she shouldnot accept the money let him go back to his UK wife . He remembers he had a wife after 16 years?

officialmario:
That is what I don't know, or maybe for her transport fare.

This had me in stitches

None of the above.

How can one get a PVC.

I did the registration in 2011 got the temporary slip back then. I have even gotten married and changed name so even that one is not valid.

can one register for voters card afresh?

Loool so it has now been translated to if I foot the bills I have all the sole authority, oya foot first.

Some are even saying its what makes men die before their time.


All of them neatly dodged the nurturing role of the woman, she will share bills and also nurture everyone.

Check out a woman who makes money and also does all the house work alone , she might even die faster than the man who only provides money only.

You guys should choose a side and stick to it.

You want her to split bills oya split chores to naw, no their ego won't allow it (this same ego doesn't follow them abroad ooothey do all chores possible) its the female can can provide money abi.

male Primary role - Provide

Female Primary role - nurture

The boys want the females to share in their role but don't want to share the female role. Its not possible naaw. Their hypocrisy was exposed on that Toks2008 thread.

All the NL boys shouting how many of them can comfortably feed their family without the wife's input.

Just provision Oo, NL boys will be whining up and down when women have been providing and taking care of the home for a long time.

Loool aftter my first comment on the 2nd page or so and reading more comments now, I am just pained ni sha.


I am now certain a high percentage of Nigerian boys can't live abroad, I am actually confused because plenty of them live abroad, do they dump this silly mentality at Muritala airport or what? Or else lots of them would have been in jail for sexual related offences.


Now that I read that the lady had no parents, maybe she didn't have anywhere to go and endured all, she got a job and is ready to leave. I just don't know how to explain it.

May God help ladies to make smart decisions oo.

Abeg shey married couples have sex 4 times a week ni? because the OP might be disappointed last last even if he gets another working babe.

Loool lasgidi for show.

The 'you rented a room not the whole apartment' part off me.

Not fair at all , haba He should have at least informed them that a new self contain ( that's what it looks like) will be carved out from their parlour.

They now added quit notice again.

But then its these cray people that fit some Tenants.