₦airaland Forum

I don't see the bleaching

I hope it is not the same male friend that does not know his boundaries. Why is your husband so attached to this man by the way. Did the man save his life or something

Na wa oh. Just wondering though. How long do you people use the toilet that you can read novels and even carry a portable DVD player

agathamari:
and 9 out of 10 by the times they are 27. MOST of molesting comes from boys thier own age in school, at the bus stop, football games, a well publicised statistic. sheltering a child wont decrease thier odds or being groped/molested.

I would love to read it. Where it says that most kids over age 16 who are molested are molested by their peers. I say 16 because I feel that a 16 year old girl being approached by a 16 year old boy in a sexual manner is quite different from a much younger child being approached by a teenager or adult. This is not sheltering this is just knowing the facts and acting on it. Educating your child and taking them out of a situation where it is likely to happen will definitely decrease the odds.

Sagamite:
I would rather give my kids the freedom of youth and encourage them to come directly to me if there is any thing they find disturbing, than to over-shelter them to something that is a low possibility in regards to stats. Obviously girls would be more sheltered as the risk is higher.

Eyah. You are so misinformed. 1 in 4 girls in the US is sexually molested by age 18 and I know it is worse in Nigeria. Probably 90 percent of my female friends were molested at very young ages. We are talking as young as age 3. The worst of them was even raped not just fingered or made to perform MouthAction. Please be aware. I am not saying you should leave in fear but you just seem so carefree. Boys are not immune either. 1 in 6 gets molested and it also happens in Nigeria.

Sagamite:
No way I am restricting my kids that much because of risks.

There are several family and friends I would be happy to leave them with.

First of all most molesters are not strangers but more likely close family members or friends. I am not saying you should never leave kids by themselves but every single Nigerian I know that has been molested have been molested either by a family member or a lesson teacher. Don't be too sure of yourself

Na wa for people o. The younger brother is saying that his breadwinner is dead. His brother should get up and slap his face. May the soul of the deceased rest in peace

LOL. I have to say that I find the word "husband's house" very offensive. It is that mentality that gives the men a sense of entitlement. if anybody should have left the house the man should have. I don't see how it helps her daughter in anyway. To me it says her daughter is temporary there but the man is permanent

I think 6 is too young and though my boys are much younger now I have to admit that I do not see the point of a sleepover at any age. What are they doing at night that they cannot do during the day. Abeg jor. I am not doing it. In the evenings that is okay but they have to sleep at home and even the homes they will be allowed to go will be limited

Tell your in laws to build you your own house right next to theirs so that you do not break tradition. You must make sure you follow the tradition even when it makes no sense whatsoever.

I know I can kill somebody for my child. This woman will never know any peace in her life. Camera's are the reality of today. My cousin in Lagos put one up and let's just say that the maid is no longer with them. Though they saw no physical abuse but the baby was not fed all day long. It was at midnight when they watched the video that my cousins wife fed her daughter. We simply need to be conscious of the fact that NOBODY will care about your child like you will. Keep that in mind when you start you car to go to work or when you plan your trips. If you cannot leave them with another parent then be very prayerful. People are evil

Another Nigerian man blaming a woman for his failures. Why not go to Nigeria and live for a while. I am sure the further youare away from her v jay jay the more prosperous you will get. That way you will be able to prove to the whole world that her vagina is so powerful it can cause money to vanish into thin air

I am sorry to tell you this but your wife is unrepentant. She should be ashamed of herself. If she was living under your roof and making it seem like she wants to work it out but spreading her legs for another man then she needs to be ashamed. I feel for you. You deserve to be happy and she does not seem to think about your happiness or the stability of her family. Even worse she could bring back a disease and I am almost certain that her boyfriend (yes, her boyfriend) is not only sleeping with her. When someone is not repentant then I don't know what else you can do but simply let her leave. She needs not be under the same roof as you. You do not deserve this

Did you give him the phone? If you did then he is doing it because you told him he can act like that in your house. Most times husbands do not notice things like this. When he interrupts you when you are with your husband and your husband lets it slide you better tell your visitor to excuse you and drag your husband out of the room to let him know that you will not accept that. How long is this visitor staying by the way

A serial cheater and children involved What is there to hold on to biko

webb jamie:
I feel u teslim,all fadas should b like dat.open 2  d kids n carin.my dad refused to even tel me where kids come from,i still wonder how he expected me 2 get my sexual edu.

All fathers should be like what

Obviously mother and daughter in law have been more than mother and daughter in law for about two years. Why is it that all of a sudden the wife feels differently. The logical reason to anybody should be something has changed. Period. Unless the poster is not saying everything. Has your mom always talked in Igbo or is it a new thing. I can also bet that the igbo is more than just "what are you eating tonight?". I will not tell you to ask your mother to speak another language but you need to answer in English if it is an issue for your wife. Your mom gets to speak her igbo and you have peace of mind. The other thing I think you should do is find out what has changed. Something obviously has. You and your mom either just started this trend of speaking igbo instead of english or something else has happened.

Are you guys in a different Lagos from me because the generator has been going almost stop for 2 days. It stayed on in VGC over the weekend though but my cousins even said that power has gotten much worse

Genevieve

Slap, knife it's all the same. He will think real hard the next time he gets the urge to do some slapping

They had to go get water??

Okay the woman really is in a bind. She has a new baby and husband is acting out so she might be a little crazy. It's like she is expected to be right by the PC to jump and answer questions. Also she also explained that his family is wealthy but they live here in the US. That will be easy to investigate. I feel like she was drawn into a fight

Just keep in mind that with a settlement it will most likely affect your FICO score negatively. If you do not like a FICO score of more than 700 then go ahead and settle with them. In fact bankruptcy is an option if you do not mind ruining your credit and starting from scratch. Nobody can really advice you here without knowing your full financial background, amount of debt, secured vs unsecured, interest rate, income etc. For example asking you to pay the lowest amount does not make sense when your lowest amount has 2% apr and your highest amount has 17% apr.

Stop calling them kidnappers. They are murderers and terrorists. Devils in human form. They shot the driver to death for what reason? None other than that they want to show that they can. God will punish them.

You do it very gently now. Abi you are now a dyson vacuum cleaner. Just suck gently not hard. In fact don't do it abeg. I am even afraid for the baby

Please you know what you need to do. You are a smart woman. I wonder why your help left though and why your husband does not want you to find her

I guess it kind of makes sense to think that they were the first people put of africa. They probably mated with a white people and white people left and they kept the mating among themselves after that. Maybe those white common ancestors with blond hair explains the hair. It is quite striking against their skin. Funny how I never noticed the hair even though I have spent time reading about Papau New Guinea and the neighboring Islands

Honestly I think things will get much better for you guys. I think one thing people fail to keep in mind is that when times are hard is when you need to strive to be closer. Your husband does not see this. He does not realize that he is defining the success of his life by the success of a career. What if he never passes the board (God forbid) will he then say that he will be misreable forever? Or maybe he passes the exam then he has to start fixing the things that he did wrong that has probably gotten his marriage to a point where his wife sees a different person.

I will just be honest and say that I can understand his frustrations but what you should not accept is him making you feel like you are not a good wife. don't ever accept that and you have to let him understand that. The other thing I always hate to hear in marriages is saying you are sorry even when you know you are not the one at fault. Sometimes that works when it is not a big issue but when it is issues that are eating you up but you just say it for the other person to be happy then that is not healthy.

Bottom line do not give up on this marriage. It is just too soon. I think you can still make him see reason. Ask him what will happen after he passes his exams and start working. Would he not want a wife that is sweet and loving rather than a bitter resentful one? Tell him that you guys can have the best of both worlds by building on the one you have now regardless of the situation. The foundation is what matters. Above all be patient with this man. I think you have been doing a wonderful job. Keep it up and I believe you will be happy for it

Inner beauty is what counts. Flamboyance is not Christ like. What is so new about that. It does not say do not wear jewelry or do not do your hair

ryu11:
@ OP. My Dear, I have read your posts and the replies from everyone else.


Like the saying goes: Different strokes for different folks. Many people have valid arguments about the issue, however, it is he who wears the shoe that knows where it hurts.


As for me i would take a walk if I was in your shoes. For my sake and that of the child. His giving you and STD is unacceptable.


Have you tested for HIV? Please do so and get the next test after 3 then 6months.


Please take practical steps to secure the future of you and your child.


Don't fall into the trap of defining yourself by your marriage like most Nigerian women do. Before you got married you had an identity, without this marriage you still have it. I am not saying you should leave your husband. I'm simply saying you can survive without this man.

You've said it all

She was engaged to a billionaire's son. I know at a point that was all everyone talked about. They looked good together in all the pictures but you can never really tell what else is happening in relationships. She's beautiful