₦airaland Forum

freecocoa:
I'm not surprised many people fell and still fall for their lies, in a place where superstition is the order of the day, what do you expect?

One of the best things that can happen to a person is to ditch religion.

You ain't religious ? WOW! that's bold.

Nothing limits a man more than a religious mindset

Jonathan looks relieved, Patience is hogging the limelight as usual

freecocoa:
I can agree that he jumped into conclusions as to why MIL spoke her dialect but what was left to explain after he'd read the chat and his wife pleading?

God bless freecocoa..... Just love your objectivity

politikin:
Rolari Segun, Yeni Kuti’s daughter and the first grandchild of Fela Anikulapo-Kuti is set to get married this June.


She will be marrying Benedict Jacka, an Australian author on June 27, 2015 and their union will take place at the New Afrikan Shrine at Agidingbi, in Ikeja.

Benedict Jacka, who graduated from Cambridge University has written the ‘The Alex Verus‘ series.
Before being an author he worked in London as a civil servant, bouncer and a teacher.
27 year old Rolari Segun graduated from the University of Leeds in 2010.

Benedict came to Lagos in December, 2014 to see Rolari’s families- the Kutis and the Seguns
In 2013, her mother claimed that Rolari is still a virgin during an interview on the TV station TVC.

The wedding ceremony at the shrine is strictly by invitation. Another ceremony will happen in August at the United Kingdom.

How she take know ? and besides 2013 is like 24 months ago

Islie:
By her stupid actions.........


She allowed sexual pleasure to override her sense of reasoning.
Now the little boy is now an orphan because the man is going to prison for his actions

Why should you blame her for her death...
By your own estimation. You might consider it wrong for her to sleep with another man....
But this does not in anyway justify her killing , especially considering they were not even married!

Somehow from my assessment of the pictures,
Saying that Funke Akindele rocks 9ce would have been more appropriate!

The story sounds incomplete....something fishy

thorpido:
Their mother is dead.The man is free to date the woman except the affair started before their mother died.

Even if it started before their mom's death. As long as the affair/woman was not directly or remotely connected to the mother's death. Then nothing warrants or justifies their actions

Anyway, my guess is that the family would have had an history of abuse for the girls to have resorted to such extremes. Violence does not just jump on people.

Any man that marries these ones should just prepare for regular WWF sessions

babyosisi:
You teach people how to treat you and what you accept becomes the rule
If your husband treats your folks like crap and you have accepted it
So shall it be
A man hurts you and buys you a box of clothes and all is is ok
A man that hates your own mother and won't allow her watch your own children
Girl wake up

Hmmm.....spot on. What you allow is what will continue.
It's just that I feel she's not telling us the full story or she's saying it with a slant that gives readers an erroneous impression. Cos there's just something that feels weird about all this

Zoharariel:
They think GMB is Ebele Wereype or Orji Uzo Kalu.

Baba tell them; 1 Fulani General is equivalent to 9 Yoruba Generals + 360 Igbo Generals + 720 Ijaw Generals

You are mad but really really funny.... How did you come about this your military mathematics?

bukatyne:
What married man treks with an allegedly engaged lady alone?

Trek, not travel?

In the rain, under the sun, at night etc. etc.

They are sure both tired of their spouses.

And to think I thought the lady was back to her senses.

Did the family not know she was trekking when she set out?

I tire o.
What about the issue of security? Do they have a police escort? Especially since he now has a female co-trekker. Even when driving in a car from abuja down south, one is always cautious about security, talkless of on foot

missclasssy:
A relatioship should never be a parasitic one where one partner feeds and gains at the expense of the other.
It should be a symbiotic one which benefits both parties.

The primary reason for attraction is the defining factor as regards this issue.
If all that attracts a guy to a lady is her sexual appeal, then I don't see why he would be expecting to gain something else from her.

There are other things that should attract a guy towards a lady, such as the level of education she has attained, her wit, a talent she has, the way she relates with people, a vocational skill she has acquired, her wealth, etc.
When the some of aforementioned is used as criteria for attraction coupled with her physical attributes, then definitely there wouldn't be need to ask this question.

This actually made sense in the ideal but practically, its a long shot.
Apart from the issue of marriage and sex, most ladies have nothing to offer to men in their lives

Although there are exceptions, I have once dated a lady who was more serious academically way back in school, sex was totally off the agenda. That was the first time I broke the 4 point barrier back then.
I hope to find another exceptional case soon.

Toks2008:
Most times when issues of breakups occur in marriage people tend to keep silent over it.

Them man says i don't want to talk about it and the woman says the same and then they go their separate ways and probably remarries then the ugly nature that prom[ted the first breakup resurfaces maybe from the man or the woman and the new partner will say if only i knew...

The truth is that if we all can be very meticulous to know what lewd to the breakup of the present lady or man we are with presently,it will save us all avoidable headaches and heartaches because we would have known exactly what went down and what to do top prevent a recurrence.

You seem to be a wise man.
This even applies to relationships too, to an extent. When it comes to character, more often than not humans are like leopards who never change their spots

I stay in Jos

And I'v always wondered why that market is referred to as the biggest?

The best team would definitely be the 1993 squad, it's difficult to argue against that.

But I think the second best was the '89 team. Though they lost in the quarters, even Pele was shocked by how good they were.

They had Andrew Aikhomogbe on goal with the popular lemy issa as the reserve.
Bobolaye fa Edon and the impressive Godwin Opara was in defence.
Captain Segun Fetuga played in the midfield
Victor Ikpeba and Precious Monye played on the flanks
Kayode Keshinro and Jide Oguntuase were attackers.
They also had the likes of Patrick Mancha and Benny Akweagbu

Ishilove:
You have set a dangerous precedent. Doesn't she have parents to assist her? 30k is more than some people's monthly salary. Asides that, it seems she is only with you for the money. The money is what is keeping the relationship together, and the day you're unable to keep up with your financial responsibilities, things will fall apart.

You need to seriously wake up from your fool's dream because you strike me as being incredibly naïve.

I doubt this story though. It's too unrealistic and I find it hard to believe that such level of 'mumurism' exists in present day Nigeria. No offence.

If there's a lady who has never for once disappointed on NL after years and years, it's ishilove!
May God continue to bless you

sexylogan:
I keep telling my female friends these things, but they don't listen.

You like a guy, the guy likes you.

He's nice to you, does all the right things, asks you to be his gf and everytime you say no...believing that
if he "really" loves you, he will continue begging you forever.

The guy finally gives up and moves on to someone else. And then you begin to cry foul.

When will you babes realise that you won't remain 22 years forever?

To the 'average' lady, that's a good candidate for the friend zone

freecocoa:
Lack etiquette to be a good wife because she didn't eat? I didn't read the part that said she was served something else the next day and she still refused to eat, help me point that part out please.

If my husband ate out before coming home, believe me it will not be a big deal,(he should just make sweet love to me) so long as he didn't request I prepare something and then eat out, I don't see any problems here.

Sweet love? How possible when him never chop

freecocoa:
Lack etiquette to be a good wife because she didn't eat? I didn't read the part that said she was served something else the next day and she still refused to eat, help me point that part out please.

If my husband ate out before coming home, believe me it will not be a big deal,(he should just make sweet love to me) so long as he didn't request I prepare something and then eat out, I don't see any problems here.

Lack of etiquette because she didn't know what should be simple courtesy. A sign that she was probably not well raised. Simple things do matter. Ask any successful person. Their secret always lies in what everybody takes for granted.
He didn't say she was offered but based on the storyline, she apparently didn't eat the next day.
Considering, the kind of girls (and men) we have these days. Every woman is always apprehensive anout the kind of girl she hands over her son to (which is what it marriage sort of is). A lady that does not appreciate the importance of a first meeting with MIL (not just boyfriend's mum) and it's sensitivity in my own estimation is simply not good enough. Take it or leave it - it's some sort of tacit job interview, it's not just a meeting, it's an assessment. It's not about being pretentious, it's just being sensible

As I said, we don't reason in a vaacum, everything is contextual. Go ask any woman with a son of marriageable age and throw the scenario to them and get their response

@ freecocoa

You know, this talk about being Africans in Africa is responsible for many things being done wrongly.

We all think in a context - even the bible talks about behaving like Romans in Rome. Unless what you're being told to do is outright wrong.
I do business in the north and at meal times, some have this attitude of calling all the adult males in the house (even drivers) to come out and eat together (not in the same plate o..... I don't really like it but then I ALWAYS ensure I eat with them, it's a privilege in the first instance for a client to invite you into his house.


I tell you honestly, my mum will have no issues with me not eating nor touching anything, she would even ask me to rest more sef, not everything should be an issue, who did the chores before the girl got there? If she was to stay there permanently, it would be understandable, she was a guest for crying out loud.

I can assure you that every woman (at least african) would have issues with you staying over and not eating. Scratch the helping in the kitchen part, if you are really tired and they have a help in the house, they can definitely give you a pass.
Women are generally very sensitive, so it baffles me when they act insensitively to others.
Let me give you another scenario - what if it was your husband, he's been on a trip for months, he comes back home and has to leave the next day. On the day he comes, he refuses to eat claiming he has already ate, then the next day he still refuses to eat before leaving for another 6 months - I mean, you'll be right to feel slighted

She didn't commit a crime, she just showed she might lack the etiquette to be a good wife for her son.
And if she probably suspects the MIL of am ulterior motive, why then does she want to marry her son?

Amhappy:
wisdom is really profitable. The girl don fall hand. I dont eat foofoo even the one i cook in my own house but any time i travel to villa with hubby and mama cooked one,i make sure i take one lump then lick soup. Wahala do go be that

I wish women like you (who are probably older and more matured) should keep advising younger ones cos we seem to have a generation of people who are being raised by DSTV and African magic

freecocoa:
That can never be reason enough to call off the relationship.

Granted,it would have been cooler if the lady ate but you don't force people to eat, what if she doesn't like nor even eat what was served? She was full for feck's sakes, I don't know any law that says you must eat a prospective MIL's food to be accepted.

Chai, freecocoa..... I totally disagree with you. Considering the responses of females on this thread, I now begin to understand why they always have problems with one another. If the story is true. That girl was stupid and inconsiderate or worse.
Freecocoa, imagine you were transferred out of Nigeria, Ghana, Gambia or wherever and you had to trabel back to Nigeria for the first time in a year and just spend a day and travel back. And you get to your mumsy's place. You tell her you ate before coming, you don't join her in the kitchen when cooking and you refuse to take her food even till the next day and you leave without touching anything and you were not sick...haba.
Now imagine when that's a first impression.
Every thing happens within a context, everybody knows how important and sensitive a ladies relationship with her MIL is (unless she's not african, off which I give a pass) . A responsible, thinking lady (or man) knows that first visits to in-laws unless accidental is not just a social encounter but some sort of assessment

Dumb story!
Which bank gives you a 10 million naira loan @ once in cash?

I would have rejected him too

Not for security reasons but because I don't like accommodating jobless people who do not make concrete logistic plans before embarking on ventures

gracile:
honestly who are you?? I hate to admit to some of your points! but you are soo right..really
How comes you know this much about us?

Who am I ? well am a bit undercover here but then if you want to know, I can send you a PM. You actually look a bit like the junior sister of a friend. She stays in Plateau.

Anyway, How do I know so much about Idoma ? I have dated about 4 Idoma girls and though different, they had so much similarity in certain areas. Infact, I have not been with any non-Idoma girl in the last five years or so.
I pitied the last of them anyway because by the time we started I had become so wary of them (Idomas) that I could not just give her the benefit of the doubt. I actually just walked away without anything happening because I could not mentally divorce her from the antics of my previous experience with her tribe sisters. I have made up my mind not to have anything to do with Idoma girls again, however, Idoma guys still remain my closest acquintances

Triangulation is the hallmark of an Idoma girl, they cannot have one man at a time, maybe until they are finally ready to get married. There would always be other guys around who are neither here nor there for them. Either an ex who refuses to go away or a love interest that they've neither pushed away or drawn close. One way or the other there are just multiple guys hanging somewhere without an official explanation.
I mean, do you get a thrill from that or what ?

I also understand that Idoma men insist on an oath/Juju (I can't remember the name now) before they can marry an Idoma girl to ensure her loyalty/faithfulness. The issue is if your men can be so sceptical about marrying you how much more outsiders ?
Frankly, I am naturally atttracted to Idomas but I am actually not sure they are always worth the stress.

The driver of the car was an ex-colleague and a friend.

Life can be difficult to predict atimes.


I think the road transport association should at least endeavour to call their men to order.

I had an experience on the same Jos-Riyom road in March this year.
I was about to overtake a commercial bus driver at a speed well exceeding 100km/hr when the driver (obviously without consulting his rear view mirror) made a sharp bend to the left. Even the slightest impact at that speed would have sent my car spiraling so I did the most sensible thing which was to head into the bush at the other side of the road, expectedly I lost control of the car and based on experience, I loosened my grip on the steering and lightened the pressure on my breaks.
What happened next is still one of the greatest technology wonder I have personally experienced.
Without steering the wheel, the car just automatically veered back into the road and started heading to the bush at the opposite direction, still out of control. One second I saw bush,the car swerved itself again and the next I saw road, this kept happening - the car kept swerving back and forth on the road and reducing in speed until it attained stability.
My initial instinct was that an angel had taken control of the car (and who knows, perhaps that was the case) but then I also now remembered reading the manual when I bought the car talking about the ESP - electronic stability program - implemented in the car. It's a technology that automatically determines when a driver loses control and then sends signals to the wheels to counter the loss of control.
I duff my hat for German auto manufacturers!

I salute your tenacity!

SMS business seems to be going the way of the dinosaurs with Whatsapp groups, BBM broadcast messages and FB groups

I wish there was a make up to beautify character !

Ishilove:
There seems to be a lot of penis proverbs in the list...

I didn't even notice that not until you said that

proxitaly:
The first step for me is

DO NOT PANIC

Once you panic or go hysterical be sure to expect thumping on the gas pedal thinking its break.


Stay calm and take control of the situation

Thanks OP

Thanks
That's the first and most important advice in any emergency crisis situation
Panic shuts of the brain and makes the situation worse.

mmsen:
To all girls from one part of the country or even most girls from a particular region are similar is stupid.

There is always going to be diversity within a region or a linguistic group, which is all your so called 'tribes' are.

There aren't many girls out there, globally, who do not lust after money - men are just a means to get to it for some.

Most women like attention - globally.

The OP's write was an embarrassment to his own intellect and those that believe he said anything of value. It wasn't even amusing to read.

Oh well, that's your opinion
I deduce from your post that you sort of underestimate how much our context (family background, culture, where we were brought up, religion, economic status) influences our thinking. Sure there will be variation but then there are always bound to be general characteristic that you can distinguish a set of people for.
My job ensures that I have traveled and stayed in over 30 of the 36 states of nigeria. And I can assure you my friend, that being able to identify the uniqueness and likely attitude of host cultures have been absolutely necessary for survival.

unyours:
I decide to share this because i believe it will help someone someday.

Whenever we come through ethical dilemma, the chance is that everyone will choose the part that leads to the least harm.
Most times, it's a function of ones ability to think [intelligently] outside the box.

Now here's a moral dilemma meant to be solved by 200 applicants in a job interview. You will be marveled when you see the answer the only successful candidate gave. Many wouldn't have reasoned in that line.


You are driving along in your car on a wild, stormy night. You pass by a bus stop, and you see three people waiting for the bus:

1. An old lady who looks as if she is about to die.

2. An old friend who once saved your life.

3. The perfect man (or woman) you have been dreaming about.

Which one would you choose to offer a ride to, knowing that there could only be one passenger in your car?




Think before you continue reading.
_____________________________

This is a moral/ethical dilemma that was once actually used as part of a job application.

You could pick up the old lady, because she is going to die, and thus you should save her first; or you could take the old friend because he once saved your life, and this would be the perfect chance to pay him back. However, you may never be able to find your perfect dream lover again.

The candidate who was hired (out of 200 applicants) had no trouble coming up with his answer. I love this. I might actually use it sometime for an interview situation.

He simply answered: “I would give the car keys to my old friend, and let him take the lady to the hospital. I would stay behind and wait for the bus with the woman of my dreams.”

Never forget to “Think Outside of the Box.”
____________________________________
My 50kobo advice to all jobseekers:
Avoid giving a straight-up answer to interview questions no matter how straight-to-the-point the question is.
Always have something to add to spice up your answers and be straight to the point as you do so. Expect all kind of useless questions. Lol.
The interview that landed me my job was an interview i got most of what i will call off-point questions like:
Are you married?
What tribe will you like to marry from?
Can you speak Yoruba language?
What's your username on nairaland? (I shock!)

Wish you all goodluck

Reference: Here

This your dilemma is old news na ! Seriously, I heard this riddle on radio in the early 90s !