₦airaland Forum

Atiku the fox!

Just leave the guy, he is fake.

You have every right to be proud of your dad and your self and don't for one minute give anyone a chance to put him down.

As long as he is not a thief or doing anything illegal, then you should be able to hold your head high about him anywhere.

Any relationship that tears your self esteem is not worth it

xdos:
What if the rape is a lie like d case of Joseph and d Portiphar's wife? rape is the easiest thing a woman can use to blackmail a guy when she doesnt like him....cos i dnt understand y a guy should rape his friend's wife in his own house...
Not like he came in to her place and met her alone or something....
He called her, invited her to 'his own' place so he could 'rape' her.... dat is daring! if dat is really true, her husband should also be arrested.... itz possible he planned it with his friend...

You're a thinking man ! Even if he is not afraid of the woman, he should be afraid of the husband.
An average man can arrange for murder if he hears his wife has been raped by another man!

We need to hear the full story

What about 3d auto max ?
It was the reigning thing abut 10 to 15 years ago

Dimples192:
This is a very delicate matter but I feel you should respect your mothers privacy and not to tell her what you witnessed. Your mother isn't some lil girl on heat so she will see him for who he is soon. For all you know maybe their just seeing each other and the relationship isn't serious yet. Maybe their just dating and getting to know each other. If this was her husband I would advice you tell her but in this case I'd say save her the embarrassment of hearing it from you.

Women and secrets ?? Justifying evil by any means possible

anselm791:
The question is, can you live with yourself knowing your mother is going to be hurt and catch an STI pretty soon?

This guy here makes much more sense.

So you want to wait until the charming womanizer (they are always charming and very cunning) exploits your mum probably leech a huge sum off her, or your mum is so involved that she can't extricate herself before you tell her all you've known all along ?
I just don't know why we put up with evil instead of exposing them

pretydiva:
y can't u b dat nigerian

Yeah ! I am that Nigerian and I don't need to blow my own trumpet but since you asked . . . .

I am a westerner and I own a software company counter-intuitively located in the North-east.

I can't claim to have the best software in the world but I develop bespoke software to local companies and Govt agencies (especially health institutions) that helps solve their problems from a localized perspective and ensures reduction in incidences of capital flight due to payments Government hitherto used to make to indian and american companies.

There are at least 9 Hospitals on my client list 2 in bauchi, 1 in Yola, 1 in Gombe, 1 in Dutse, 1 in Kano, 1 in Gusau.

So hope I made my point, it's not until I develop a software that will transform the world and is greater than facebook and I can be shown on the pages of newspaper smiling that I can make a difference !

AgreatMan:
you guys know what this project is? TRASH.
what is wrong with this country? you guys hv built car before, are u supposed to be improving on what u have or keep welding scrap metals together?

the exact thing happens in our politics. one party usurp the other, instead of continuing on what your predecessor has achieved, they scrap d whole program n begin afresh.

everybody wants to mk 'history'.

E be like say we they think similar .

Please check my post above you https://www.nairaland.com/2199961/nigerian-university-students-builds-car/1#31700444

Cos my question is, apart from wielding metal together, what have they achieved really as far as improving technology is concerned. Are they really building on old achievements ?

Or is it just about appearing on the pages of newspaper - when will a Nigerian develop something as simple as efficient seatbelt technology or safer car-lock technology, when When are we going to embrace technology for technology sake alone ?

This project would have made sense had it been done by secondary school students whose goal is to practicalise what they have been thought, but at the University level, you should be concerned about contributing to the body of knowledge

espionagesavvy:
If only our country will invest heavily and adequately on our universities. The universities should be the hub of scientific, industrial, political innovations in nigeria, when I was in America, the government took its political, economic advisers from the universities, also weapons and other technical advancement oozed and emitted majorly from the universities.[color=#990000][/color]

There are issues with this approach (I mean the focus of the thread, not your post per se) that might not be patently obvious on the surface.......

But just think a little deeper, and you'll realise it's a sham in some ways, schemes to generate noise and interest and maybe financial reward or maybe just part of our psyche that if it doesn't make noise, it's not progress. We sacrifice genuine progress on the alter of popularity.

Development does not come by developing cars and airplanes and rockets (yeah, some Nigerian students once built rockets). Technological development comes in bits and pieces.

Just focus on developing
* a braking system more efficient than Toyota,
* A gear box better than honda's ,
* A chasis that gives more balance than benz.
* A metallic alloy that's very light but stronger than most used in developing cars

Just focus on one thing at a time that might not give you a 'name' but will ensure you contribute your quota to tech advancement.

I remember a student back then in my uni who built a car that could run on water, I felt that was the most foolish thing ever, sham of the highest order. NOBODY INVENTS A CAR THAT CAN RUN ON WATER, what you can do in all probability is to build AN ENGINE that can run on water, leave others to fashion out its practical application and focus on your expertise.

I remember a young girl in the US who discovered a 3D carbon form that could store charge more than most materials. That's technology - it is left for Nokia, Apple and Ford (or whoever is interested) to figure how they can use it in their cars, phone and other devices.

So the reason why this 'big achievements' never amount to anything eventually is not because of government 'insensitivity' but because the intentions of the inventors were not always altruistic

naijainfogalery:
it saddens me when i see Gods property being destroyed,

But here are few possibilities
1. Some APC guys might have done that i dint trust all these politicians
2. Them PDP wanna use it as another propaganda saying APC are burning media houses and churches
3. Orisajafor wants more money from GEJ, he go put fire for him church so that GEJ go come contribute for church fund raising
4. Another power surge led to the fire outbreak
5. Another TB Joshua kind of structure , a disaster waiting to happen
6. Some random fire caused by neglgence

As much as this looks like a post made in jest,
You're actually right

TooNoisy:
I guess this is a counter thread to an earlier one where a woman said her husband's wedding is coming up.

The story is just too unrealistic. She is "your girlfriend " and then she comes to your house to invite you just a day before the wedding.

And then you quietly thanked her for the invite and come to ask us if you should attend? We are not as daft and senseless as both of you!

It's actually possible - it's a form of emotional blackmail and psychology torture. And it actually gives you an insight into the relationship itself. She had always been the dominant partner and he the recessive.

But frankly, if we are to dig into the subconscious, what is really happening is that the girl still loves him or interested in him to a degree.

The psychological/subconscious/twisted goals of the lady are :

1. Wrecking him emotionally would give her validation - its just like you moving out of a house for another one, and hearing the next day that your old house just collapsed. You'll feel smug for leaving.
2. She still wants by all means to be in his mind - whether positively or negatively. Apathy from loved one kills.
3. Most importantly, she wants to deny him closure in the relationship. It's a psychological gambit, our minds are fragile, once we can't get closure on an issue, no matter how bad, we still revisit the issue even to our detriment. Meaning that in an odd situation that her new union collapses, she can always come back, it's crazy but that's how psychologically wounded people operate, why a woman will always go back to her abuser. Without closure, we are still inextricably linked to the event that caused us harm

5minsmadness:
Interesting.
Her own parents separated when they were little. she doesn't allow her father visit their matrimonial home since she feels he abandoned her and her siblings when they were little. this was one of the reasons the guy in question doesn't want a repeat as their own kids are little too.

Now that you know I am not bluffing, do you really want me to give you (or your friend) sincere advice on the way forward ??

From the little I have heard, this lady seems to be suffering from a personality/psychological disorder. Her emotional development was stunted in the early stages of her life because of the trauma and abandonement and she is in all probability severely damaged emotionally (in some instance irredeemably)

And for one minute, do not think she doesn't know what she is doing or she is just being confused or spoilt. She in all probability a most manipulative person and the 'marriage' is going along exactly the way she intends it - so communicating with her isn't a solution at all cos she already knows what she's doing and she'll go to denial mode in any communication unless she feels threatened.
Infact, right now, I am also certain she's doing her best to isolate him from other loved ones (it's a usual tactic).

Anyway, do you really want me to give my frank advice ?

jerseyboy:
Spend more time in the library. Intelligent people understand the coinage from where the analogy is derived.

Be a bit relaxed when reading responses and you'll understand his post shouldn't be taken literally too !

Toks2008:
I think there is lack of communication btween them.

This is why I hate introverts. Speak out your grieviances and stop acting cynical.

The problem isn't lack of communication, the woman knows exactly what she's doing, trying to always talk about it, will make the man look more desperate and end up empowering her.

The woman didn't get tired of the marriage either, this was her plan from day one. And yes, the woman is cheating, and it is not due to the man's fault. The woman waged a psychological warfare on the man from day one of the marriage.

One reality we need to face is that the marriage might be irredeemable. The woman might actually not be his true wife.

If we dig deep, I am 100% certain that the wife in question would have suffered trauma, abandonment or abuse as a little child and his acting out in attack as a subconscious protective mechanism against the man.

There is little the man can do about her, her problem and solution lies within her, not externally, so let the man try as best to ignore and live his life. Show her he is not concerned, that will in the short term grab her attention but in the long term, my instinct tells me the man is in for hell

MayflowerB:
She looks beautiful and natural....but I seriously dont know wat I am supposed to do with dis news

My thoughts exactly......so what's the point ?

Kachisbarbie:
They may not have left their past life totally
They may have left it totally...
I flex responsibly, I guess that's the same frequency they would be operating on now.

As long as u meet the perfect sum1, why not?
If you are ready psychologically...why not?

Men are part of the problem. They would mess around with ladies and put them on a longthing till she is 30(+). Then they leave her and go marry a 22yr old lady.

Marriage doesn't in any way, affect a ladys' future plan, except she wants it to, or she isn't with the kinda man that would help her build her dream(s).

P.S I have observed humans are insatiable...
Why the unnecessary pressure/focus on the female folk?...
You get married early, they say you not matured enough, no ambition...what exactly do you guys think happens in a marriage?
You get married @ a later age, they say *career woman*...you not gonna be submissive

It's all about choice!! Our life paths are not the same, can never be!!

Genius!

Touché

pretydiva:
There r millions of pple ready 2 jump at dat offer,if she eventually chose her braids. No sane human wil chose braid over her job

God bless you. I didn't know we still have sane ladies like you in our society!

Though I think the request is ridiculous but I guess they own their company and you are not forced to work there

The guy needs more help than single ladies.

I wish ladies would slap a man each time he comes back home later than expected from an outing.

So the woman who shelves her career for a while to raise kids shouldn't be respected because she's not contributing financially.

From the OP's advice, I guess the woman because of the fear of 'they' taking over her exalted position should just turn herself into a doormat!

You sound like an offspring of the great pessimist Malthus!

Anyway, the solution is don't go overboard trying to control population - just educate the populace. An educated people think better and generally know their left from right

That's the Nigerian problem - we all want to make the first or the biggest.
Why not just make an engine, make a new brake technology. Improve on existing electronic stability program of cars, it wouldn't make as much noise but it will be real progress!

I wouldn't have believed your story until I experienced someone like that of recent......
She didn't actually get to that level but she was cheating shamelessly....

So I'll give you 2 advices depending on your 'action' level.

1. The simpler, which everybody chose is to just ignore and walk away and pick up the pieces of your life.

2. If you have 'action' - get across to one of her friends, you are sure has been eyeing you (or even family - the closer, the better) indicate interest in her, then take her for the traditional wedding. Make sure you make it obvious you guys are amorous, You guys can even where 'and co' if possible. By the time, your girl sees you, she'll almost faint - which was what her evil mind intended for you in the first place.
In my case, it was a val's day outing. She lied she was out of town. So I got together with her family friend who I was certain was interested in me. And we went to the same place where she was spending her day. She was so shocked yet shame could not let her confront me. Infact, she felt so bad, she broke up with the other guy and tried to get back with me but I was done with her. That was my last throw of the dice.

EfemenaXY:
She probably never even wanted to marry him in the first place. His lack of mathematical knowledge is just a flimsy excuse. I'm sure the guy wouldn't have had any problem adding 15 rupees to 6 rupees...

My sixth (weird) sense tells me it's the other way round. He prolly intentionally failed the test cos he never wanted to marry her and sought the easiest way out!

I don't have a problem with you holding your father hostage for 30 minutes or 30 years....those are your family issues

But why put it on twitter Were you high?

coogar:
thank God they didn't find the man there with his fat tummy. they would have eaten him up. i also suspect the man is a dog eater. dogs hate dog eaters.

How you take know ?

We've experienced something similar before in Ikorodu.

They were 2 dogs disturbing my uncle's family from an uncompleted building besides them.

So they threw stones at them to scare them away not knowing that one of them had a pup with her, one of the stones landed on the pup and it died. it was evening by that time.

That night was dreadful, almost all the dogs in the neighborhood came to that uncompleted building besides there house and barked and growled all through the night.

This happened almost twenty years ago but my aunt still recollects it vividly cause she was so so scared, she thought the dogs were looking for a way to enter their house and tear them apart

GboyegaD:
Were they ever married in the first instance or what are they dissolving? The magistrate of that court was very nice to have allowed all these continue.

My thoughts exactly, I blame the magistrate for allowing the charade

GboyegaD:
To you it is rubbish, to them it is not because they will be the ones to give account of their stewardship and not you so you either accept their beliefs or not. This said, I do not support violence but I am not going to tell an abused spouse what to do as I believe as adults, s/he knows what decision to take. More so, I wasn't there when the partners agreed to marry one another so why will I be the one to tell them what to do?

I will try to be as civil as possible but i can't just fathom the shocking hypocrisy of religion and religious people and their ability to defy all reason.

You are not going to tell an abused person what to do cos they know the decision to take - and yet we are talking about a man of God who supposedly has spiritual oversight of his flock.

So for you it is more acceptable as a 'watchman' to give account to God that you saw a man/woman in mortal danger in a marriage and you didn't warn him/her and she died in the process just because you wanted to look religious. In your dictionary , murder is more acceptable to God than divorce. the question is, which god do you serve anyway ?

Shollypopzz:
"She seduced my husband"..............

LMAO! Her poor innocent husband was seduced. Of course, he wasn't acting according to his own will, the junior colleague was controlling his actions with her "seduction".

Shollypopzz - It's like you went AWOL for almost a year or two !
good to see you back and how are you doing ?

How bout your partner in crime ? can't remember her moniker again but she was one troublesome young lady!

Now that's inspirational

Not Kanye kisses Kim before entering hotel room or Tiwa grinds patoranking infront of tunde (or whatever is name is)

And of course we all know this can't be a mistake

queenprecy:
I stay in Awka anambra state. I still trying to put d fund togeda. yea am teaching in a private school. if d fund is ready I wl start now

Ok....I am based in abuja.
I invested about 600k in a business last yr + another 250 and both business haven't yielded.

I need to see your business plan to be convinced of your intentions and capacity to accomplish it.

I and some folks had plans to set up a scholarship scheme in my state but sincerely, I will be more interested in a school.

I need to know your qualifications and in what capacity will the financier act.
Will I be just a money-lender?
or will I come in as a shareholder or will I have a role in the board as a key decision maker?

Let me have these details preferably confidentially before I make up my mind if I want to come in

Let them still search for the truth....

If it looks too awkward to be true, then it's probably not true !