₦airaland Forum

Lol @#nairaland stadium,pls keep it flowing for those of us unable to view the match.....

Nairaland comentary will always make a good substitute anyday.

I have a big smile on my face as I write this,I'll usually read amused and move on but I feel compelled to write this for the sake of any unfortunate people pleasing Nigerian woman out there reading this.....

Have your own assests completely seperate from your husbands.Either you do it with his permission or not is completely @ ur discretion but be sure it happens.If he's the bullying type hide it well beneath layers of legal paperwork and shadow names and procedures

Its the same Nigeria that the properties that's supposed to belong to the mans family in his absence gets shared by the inlaws,or the happens a lot scenario where he can kicks his wife out for the most flimsy reasons,or when she's 50 for a younger option,and my personal favourite where the guy can marry a 2nd or 3rd wife to..... Share or simply take over all you've saved,sacrificed and suffered so hard to aquire.

if you're not working,use his money,if you're working,use yours.If you agree to what's mine is yours and what is yours is mine,then make sure the legal papers do not bear mr and mrs xyz but mr george and mrs rose xyz.anybody can be mrs xyz only u can be mrs rose xyz u get?.Take a cue from the supposedly rich and powerful bianca still having to fight inlaws despite a will and all, aderinokun of gtb with the wife putting up the fight with "the others"a word for the wise

Lastly If we all stopped been hypocrites and stand to address the ills in our soceity,then no one should really begrudge a woman having her own assets,if she hides it from an unapproving husband and gets "caught" all the shouts of send her out butresses the very need for their seperating investments.

My point,a true man should know in truth,his wifes money is her money and what she does with, her bussiness so long as the family is safe and fed which is his duty.

Been waiting for this guys story,turns out he's no law enforcement officer just a regular guy good with guns,running on adrenaline and love for family and compassion for fellow men.That's bravery,courage under fire for hours against enemies with superior firepower,this is everything a brother,father and patroit should be.We will all do well to learn a thing or two from him

Unfortunately this may expose him to more threats from the terrorists,those of us who trust God should please pray for him and his family,also hoping the kenyan goverment will deem it wise to offer him security if he stays on in the country.

Sensitive thread,sensitive day,dear moderators why has the alt I'd Sagaman not been banned?

He fits the defination of a troll and the world indeed reads this pages.Over 20,000 views so far.

We must all encourage the kenyan forces who at this momment risk their lives to save fellow countrymen.Criticisms if any ought to be for another day.But to call these brave men in the line of fire fools on a day like this is in poor taste,uncivilized,babaric and disheartening.

Moderators pls take note.

tochimas: I am so short of words, don't even know what to say, I am a Christian, a strong one but I refuse to judge the entire Muslim, I hate these animals that terrorize others in the name of islam. I fact they nearly made me to start hating on Muslims. But when I remember my youth service at bauchi before book haram became fully operational, there are this group my host use to warn me about, they use to pray and preach around 9-10pm in the night close to the market place, the only developed place in the town of alkaleri, he told me never to go near them, that they only preach hate, extremism,according to him, they are the bad denomination. Then there are another group that came every morning to preach love nd co -existence in the same market place. My opinion is that it is only the same Muslims that stop this Insane ones.I remember when there was crisis in bauch then, we don't even have anywhere to run to as gombe was under attack too, we were holed up in the lodge, ready to enter bush at the slightest alarm, don't blame us, one idiot extremist has said that enough people were not killed in bauch as a result of advent of phones and onitsha has retaliated and killed Hausas. He wanted to continue at alkaleri there. I can't forget the stance of our host community, I was privy to everything because I was teaching an extra moral classes to the family of one of the top guys in the local govt then.they came to the lodge to assure us to be calm, that we were safe, I was so afraid still, so I and my friend went to his house to sleep, I am already welcomed there anyway as I also teach the wives. He told us that they had meeting and had spread the words in their way, that anybody that tried any shit in this alkaleri will be touched down to his family not just him, they were not bluffing oh, there was this strange look on his face when he said that, we were even afraid of what They were capable of doing, funny?and true to their words, nothing happened, weeks later when I was telling him how afraid we were that we might loose our lives here, he simply laughed and said nobody would have tried cos their threat was not an empty one. It is not just them but I had had dealing with various Muslims, some were neighbor both here in Lagos, I simply don't know how to start hating them cos they are Muslim. But Muslims have to stand up and their their dirty job, they are the ones to fish and flush out bad eggs in their mist. They are the ones that should fight.

I like your story,I've enjoyed the hospitality, the humble openness and warmth of the north,I also have been given such assurances,but thankfully it has never been tested. many have not been so lucky,But I believe when we share stories such as this,others may hear and stand like this when pple gang up to kill foriegners in their land,they also may realize we expect it from them and when they fail it is not just the perpertuators but the community that failed.

Its like stories you tell in the village by the fire at night to teach the kids a culture and a better way,that we are our brothers keeper.pple we need to stop preaching hate and it starts with everyone of us,we need to hold our brethren accountable,muslims and hausas it starts with you,for peace to reign we must be our brothers keeper,no matter how annoying he is,and that is the message I hope we somehow take in all this.... Somehow.

Finally the thread is getting cleaned up and making useful progress.At times like this we should not preach hate,but remind ourselves of our collective humanity,defend and propagate the values that make us humane and tow the path of progress.

Let us not incite the populace but preach peace.

And the moderators have not banned somali12 because?

This babaric attack on the innocent people of kenya will only suceed in alligning the sympathy of other African nations and its armies against the terrorist group of somalia.

Condolences to kenya at this time,may God grant them the strength as they pass through this.I speak Peace to Nigeria,Peace to Africa.(Amen)

Omotolaaraujo: People have to grow food, or earn money to buy food from a good source. That is the cure for malnutrition. Agriculture and jobs.

The data is most likely acurate and true,and not just for jigawa but for most states in the north.The data is from rural north and its a reflection of their lack of education,and poverty.

These are the pple that produce food the south eat,so its not an agricultural problem.They have soya,rice,millet,wheat,vegetables, pepper etc. They just don't give their kids the right meals,mostly because they are not englightened,and the scenario of 7-10 kids per mother Multiplied by 4 u gives the family pic,poverty becomes the issue at that stage.

One must truly commend all agencies and individuals that have taken it upon themselves to eradicate this menace,as so many lives have been saved by their contribution,However the true solution to this is compulsory female education.

The problem with undergraduates in Nigeria is simple,you have no carrear mentors.

Who builds a house without first counting the cost? Most expect to graduate and a job fall in their laps by chance,connections or luck.truth is what you need is adequate planning and using your spare undergrad time to align with opportunities and free courses that abound some on the internet this will give you a competitive edge in the area u want to work in and you start from that 100l not after NYSC.

BMS physiology,microbiology and biochem are in high demand in many org,and there is no week you don't see adverts from such org for vacancies.from quality assurance in med,to biomedics,to data management,to disease surveillance,trainings,etc also the fed govt ,state govt,NPHDA, amongst others and there are some that pay better than clinical consultants of 20yrs will ever hope to earn in Nig.....there ur degree isn't discriminated so long as you have basic medical knowledge and exp neccesarry for the job.

My point is rather than been pesimistic from the onset,the way forward is to meet snr ones that have grad and been working for yrs they'll tell you what they have learnt about the industry,the opportunities that are available and what they would require so u start planning towards it.another way is to check the papers not for a job but for the requirements for those posts that BMS can apply for,meet up with pple from those org ask questions,start planning.

Avoid neg pple and those striving for roles not suited to them,find succesfull pple in your field that earn well and ask them the way,Network like mad starting now is the key,those relationships will come in usefull sometime in future,cos a lot of openings never get advertized but spread by word of mouth in the same setting and you only tell those you know.

if you want to travel,the time to start planning is also 100l.

My 2 piece.

The rejection of polio vaccines by northerners should be criminalized.However, the right path would be for the state to sue them and let such parents have their day in court explaining why they rejected vaccination for their kids.

Its not lack of information,u see a lot of funds go into community mobilization and awareness with involvement of religious and political leaders.why just the north.The south has no recorded cases and the people are not sterile yet.This same Nigerians are given this vaccines before been allowed to travel for hajj why don't they reject it,why are the other islamic nations not rejecting it.

Its beyond conspiracy theories,its about an attitude of defiance to state that has left nigeria as the reserviour for polio that was almost eradicated save for us and has now begun to spread again to other countries.It must be curbed.

Also On no account can we compare Nigeria to the developed west where access to health is easy,The sad nigerian under five mortality statistics we hear about is mainly as a result of figures from this north,where pple have 7- 10 children and can't afford health should they fall sick and still refuse vaccination.so we hear of preventable deaths from measles,chest infections,diarrhea,etc They should @ least tow the path of prevention that has been offered free They refuse mostly due to nonchalance and u hear a woman lost 3-4 kids from 10 deliveries.No big deal she still has 5-8 kids anyway.

That is the attitude of the north,its reckless endagerment,maybe they shouldn't be arrested,but the state must sue such parents for this for the trend to stop,someone must stand for the right of those children.

There are always bad elements in every organization but the lagos state police is a very organized group.Now for all who don't know,all organizations with expatraite communities have security units that work closely with the police as such wherever they sense any trouble their security unit informs the policeand they turn up in any part of lagos it may be happening at.

I have experienced the police arriving in 15mins of boys just attempting to start trouble and the sirens alone did the trick before they arrived,also the provision of armoured Personel Carriers by the state for the police aided their ability and confidence to combat crime effectively so they actually turn up.

Add the sea patrol unit,everyone who cares to know will realize for the population of lagos its crime stat will probably be the best in Africa.

Give them some kudos pple,their system is also a victim of the Nigerian story,but they have recorded some success despite all,let's say something good when there is something good to be said.

To all the men and women of the police force who try to do their jobs properly,despite poor motivation from the state,I say thank you,and pray one day the nation will reward you.

May God bless the peoples General,General Muhammadu Buhari,we believe in your vision for Nigeria,May all who hate you live to see the new Nigeria under your rule.

May God bless the federal republic of Nigeria.

when stella damascuss reigns in her voice and screams blue murder,I stand and applaud,for the educated intellectuals that would rather discuss this over cofee,that criticize the badwagonners,I dare say the latters outrage has done more for this cause however misguided the medium may seem as such we are the noble and honourable ones,and every voice that says no to child brides has my support.

#childnotbride

No one should bvlame the doctors till they ave the facts of the case.That said,I know Nigerian Doctors perform nothing short of miracles with the results they deliver given the conditions they work with,Pls note it is not a training deficit cos almost all young drs this days have pasdsed the rigorous forign certification exams and are just bidding their time to leave,even they don't want to stay,so for the few that work under these absymal conditions,they should be appreciated not run down every opprtunity.

Now to the maternal and morbidity stat a lot of factors contribute to that,unsafe abortion,bleeding from flabby uterus from mothers who have had mutiple births,infections etc all these takes a high percentage as opposed to mothers actually dying from incompetence,if you all care to take a close look at the system u'll see the rot is deeper,its the LGA's not having Drs,its one corper to an entire General hospital for all cases,overstretched ,overworked with no resourcers,no light,no ambulance,someone said no ventilators,I laugh,Its no disinfectant,no cotton wool,its reusing disposables,its absymal work conditions,with no life and no money for the staff.


My point,don't blame the drs or nurses,yopur foreign drs will get worse results with said conditions.Infact I heard of a forien crew that refused to work with the best hospitals in nigeria as at 2yrs ago sayoing they can't work under those circumstances,I laughed.cos u see,they had not even seen public health care,they would ave been scared.

let us ask the right questions,perhaps the system will get more light shed on it that way.but pls respect your drs that stayed,me I advise all drs I know,leave,you ave a thankless job.

Nice thread,found some interesting links a while back I'll post later if I can still find them,

But apparently there are 3 main theory to the history of the yorubas

1-that they originated from the east,

Oral yoruba traditions say they came from mecca,

An emir gave a story to that effect that they were from the lineage of a man called ya rooba,hence the name yoruba who was from the east.

Similarities between ife art works and nok art work suggests either the east was Nok or Nok was a migratory route.

ancient history suggests ancient eyptians were actually black hence the possibility of the migration story,also linguistic similarities in pronunciation and meaning of many words inclding cup,water,daily words about 400 I counted then,have been found between egypt and yorubas as well as their ancient gods.

2-the ondos ekitis and one other state claim not to be part of the oduduwa clan,but that the migrants met them in the land.yet to find more reading material on that part of history.

3-lastly the esoteric myth that oduduwa came from heaven with a mission,and took over his principals authority when he became drunk collecting the chicken he was send with and thereby became the one who completed the mission,this myth has been debunked so many times.
However it was possible they said the yorubas were speaking in proverbs or parables,another cultural similarity to the east.

My point is there's a lot of information available on this subject with the burden of scientific evidence supporting the first 2,for all those interested some great scientific materials are also available on the internet.I'll find the link to them and post later.

@omonakoda,
Your mouth and your manners are both loose.

This is about a pple and a culture,The point is reign in your tongue just a bit and read.Read your posts all thru this topic,read on corrections,read the books higlighted,The Iyaloja post goes beyond the 21st century market associations,in death and the kings horsemen you see the then iyaloja speak up and got recorded in the 1930's as the british tried to influence the culture of the people,
You see she had a position of immense influence and she's always been part of the kings council

But then you've read this books you said.so your utterances so far is best described as micheivious,

You should grow up.

@omonakoda,

Reading material-

women in yoruba history

Wole soyinkas -death and the kings horseman(said to be based on a true life incident)

So you don't use the left hand to describe the yoruba pple.

@omonaakoda,

Iyaloja's have always been a part of the kings council,long before the british and after the british rule till date.

Pls note regardless of diff in beliefs as regards the origin of the yorubas in diverse areas of the yoruba kingdom,there remains a market similarity in the system of governance.

Pls note every Yoruba province as an oja oba,be it ijebu,akure,ekiti,or lagos.and every ojo oba has an iyaloja that sits on the kings council.

What defines a soceity is its cultural identity,I dare say some of it which we have lost is responsible for the recent social vices that seem to be cropping up.

The Iyaloja and Iyalode are notable influential and powerful positions in yorubaland,they control the markets and the economy via their rule over the market associations and those associations have the power to set the inflation rate and scarcity.

This particular Iyaloja welded her influence and position in the face of modern oppression and we heard of no flagrant abuse of her power,pls read efunsetan aniwura.

If the people honour her by closing the market for a day which in customs is indeed her due,the least we could all do is respect this custom of the pple,their loss and hold our peace.

That's said this piece has inspired me to ensure my kids read at least 2 books on the history of our people lest they be like the ones that use the left hand to describe their fathers house.you know what they say about them.

Senator Adeyemi has no class,and his actions at this event shows no taste either.

I applaud senator tinubus decorum and Mallam Nasir El- rufai's quiet solidarity,that's a taste of the new nigeria folks,not that kingdom divided against itself.watch it fall come 2015,and great will be that fall.

This is not the first time a market in lagos has been shut down to honour its market leaders demise.its not possible to give names,as its obvious no one is really interested in market politics as such,one just remembers the inconvienience that's all.

For the guy that has stayed 15 yrs,its posible she has had the position for longer than that or no overall state market leader died during that period.

It is good to respect the culture of the people,old or new however it may be.

I just couldn't pass by,had to log in to drop a comment,Supermum sniper-in-a-diaper....

May you find strength all the way in this journey,and may your wonderful kids reward your labour of love.

@ OP,I take a bow as I say thank you....and keep ur blog going strong,a place where singleparents can find advice and help.since naija snoots won't offer a finger to help.

Pls consider single parents,not just mums.some men raise kids without their mothers too,let's not marginalize.

[quote author=charles424]This post is disheartening....is the OP encouraging single parenting Omg!!!...Our women of today are so reckless in that the moment they get a kid,forget all that make dem a real woman to her man..Then women of nowadays love money more than their life..I have so many spiritual instances to butress my point NO to single parenting..

Guy you are just a bunch of contradictions,single parents men or women are capable of raising great kids,it has everything to do with the individual and Gods grace not their relationship status.

You remind me of the proverbial pharisee that is not on the path and will not let others be,even Jesus did not condem the woman in adultery how your own come be? Whether by choice or by chance there will always be single parents in our society,if you can't support them with kindness either by words or deeds,then by all means be quiet and don't make their lives more difficult with ur hypocrital judgemental stand.

Op I'm with you on this post,empower your kids in everyway possible,teach them their success is your success.

My observation,kids from single parents are mostly independent,mature and goal oriented early in life while their mates are clowning away....

damiso: Geeez.Nigerians can be judgemental.Gosh

My sentiments exactly, judgemental hypocrites that's what the majority of nigerians are.

Whether a woman decides to raise her family alone or with a man,its really nobody's bussiness to label her good or bad.Its her life and her choice which must be respected.

Truth is most Nigerian families leave the responsibility of raising kids solely with the mothers,so a lot of "married" homes actually raise single parent kids add that to the outrageous runaway/absentee dads in Nigeria courtsey of multiple wife scenario,parents living in two diff cities,men shirking their responsibilities etc amongst others,then u see the truth is in Africa,the woman raises the kids.

The single mother should be encouraged to do a good job,strengthened and helped by others when possible not condemmed.

No one should blame her really,her survival,I.e ability to feed clothe herself etc and her identity in soceity most likely depends on that,rather we should encourage younger ones who have no family fortune to fall back on not to attempt marriage without empowering themselves.Its the fastest route to been destitute.

That said I've seen many stories like this,wives of mighty men in society,with no means of living and,no money, they'll tell u they don't own 10000 naira of their own,but their husbands will buy the most exp things for them.They all say they stay for their children,but....women empower yourselfs before marriage,treat yourself with respect or no one else will.

May God keep our troop safe, everyone of them, grant them success, and keep their hearts from evil.Amen

Revolva: Banky W..looks so comfortable....he went to the best school abroad and has so much connection....and opportunities..am sure his lifestyle and music. especially does not speaks for the average Nigerian the suffering masses...so Good luck to him.. with his speech @ Oxford...whatever..dat wont put Garri on an average Fan table....jare...na dem sabi....
much respect to Sound sultan, Femi kuti Seun Kuti, Tuface.....Idristhey've succeeded in ruining the quiet ambience of my hal ....and more of them that uses their music to torment the government

Music is about art, that conference was on the impact of african arts.Do you guyz read up about this things before you comment at all? Did you see an excerpt of the speech? Try to,and pls note ur school or circumstance is not what limits you in life,its your thinking process that does.

Banky W is one of the few artists with proven patroitic interest above self.He has spoken out against bad governance many times at a risk to his carrear in the music industry,He spoke up against subsidy,and bad governance,he sided with the masses,he came out and spoke not just release a filmsy press statement,He did the famous change video that played after amanpours jonathan interview,the one y'all hailed,

He started a Mr capable foundation which has awarded so many scholarships and done lots of good work in Nigeria.

I hate it when people criticize blindly,a simple google search would have helped,lastly he gave an intelligent speech @ that conference a risk I won't take with most Nigerian artists,when I heard he was the one nominated,I wasn't afraid of him embarrasing the nation and in turn,he repped naija.

Give respect where it is due people,Banky W has earned his name and place as a patroit.

maximunimpact: Based on my opinion, as I have written. U can say urs, u have the right to it

dont mind them,
Buhari all the way.....


nice post,way to go.
pls edit thread title,its corruption right?

Billyonaire: You are right, so right. Little wonder that GEJ is always quiet while the chronic losers jump like frogs from blogs to cyber forums spewing irreconcilable propensities! Guess who gets burnt when one picks up a HOT COAL in the arm to throw at the enemies ? The carrier gets burnt first. GEJ is here, and will be here till 2019. There is NOTHING any opposition can do
about it. NOTHING!!!

But you have forgotten,that God rules in the affairs of men,he gives the kingdom to whoever he chooses,He raises up one and brings low another,and he hears the cry of the poor, also remember that he who sows the wind will surely reap a whirlwind....remember as you sit in the place of judgement.

The lady came out told her story uncensored to motivate the young ones,a true story that poverty is real and drives people to survive in unconventional ways.

I have heard this kind of story many times,In Nigeria it is real, where mothers expect and encourage their children to survive or get ahead in life by patronage from men and sometimes feed and help siblings and family this way,

She came out told her story.How she survived.It doesn't make her love her mother less,or honour her less,it just meant she choose a better way,succeeded and told her story...

Let us not criticize her,kaffy,you have my respect,way to go.