louisa4luv: An English adage says no man is an island of himself so I'll not dissuade you from helping people. Although I guess you are not here to listen to reason but to hype yourself. Anyways, when you require a simple thing from them and they surprisingly decline, you will learn about human beings cos you are yet to understand. I stand to be corrected though.
Is this one okay? Did you read the entire post or not?
OP, I read somewhere that the best way to help someone is to provide them with what they may need to solve their problems on their own as opposed to helping them solve their problems. This is because the more you help them out of each hole, the deeper they go next time. This, however does not mean that there aren't people who have enough sense to discern when they are beginning to become a burden. However, it is evident that your friends have either refused to be reasonable or do not understand that they are becoming burdensome. The only reasonable help you should ever offer them at this point (if you want to) is to assist them with acquiring a skill or degree that can put food on their table. Whatever they do with that opportunity is up to them. Please protect your mental health.
Zzor: .... but she secretly accepted to date a guy lately which I was unaware of.
She secretly accepted to date the guy which you were unaware of. So also would she secretly go back for the main course which you would still be unaware of. You may or may not eventually know until perhaps, she gets pregnant or suffers a heartbreak...not like you're entitltled to know anyways but my point is for you to stop taking panadol for another person's headache.
OP is it that you people dont know how to spell or what? Why do I keep seeing people spell 'former' as 'formal'.....in this case , 'formal employee of....' what is all this?
Matrimonous: Hahahaha, yeah i understand where you are coming from. You are right. He that owns something is by extension also the owner of what that thing owns.
HeavenlyCherub: You are a fool. How would you like it if someone beat your sister or mother? God punish you. No matter how angry you are, no need to make anyone your punching bag. Better to give each other space and talk about the issue. It’s you against the issue not you against each other.
You will not read. You will just open mouth whaaa!!! lmao
Onyi22: I don't like him, so therefore he won't win that money
Lmao! Such a disillusioned piece of skin and bones. Who cares if you like him or not? If he's destined to win, he will. Pheww..Nigerian girls and their hollow brains.
[Edited] Just checked your profile picture lmao!! Mshew...waste of time. Just stfu if you dont know what to say.
DXNNigeria: Really, am really furious right now and I see it as her intruding into my personal space. My babe just took my phone and uploaded her pictures with different captions like my love, my babe, my heart etc. I saw them on my status and deleted them and she is angry. Really, I see it as her intruding into my personal life. Really am very furious at her and she doesn't see anything bad in what she did instead she is giving me attitude. Really? Am I wrong?
1. You messed up by slapping that brat. You should have ignored. 2. You cannot stop the girls from watching tv in the sitting room because you asleep there. It's not your house. Hence you have to endure. 3. You are 23 years old and working. Go and get yourself an apartment. From this story, your brother's house is probably a two room apartment. It cannot contain all of you so why is he saying he will disown you if you leave? Guy, na man you be o use your head. If your brother disowns you because you do what every responsible man does, guy it means you may need to rethink this relationship. Be a man, hustle on your own, don't let anyone attempt to control your destiny. Shalom.
Where is that person that was saying he was killed by other businessmen out of envy and jealousy? Let him come and see so that he will learn to keep quiet and observe before talking.
bubudeen: Sorry to bother you guys it my first post here. Just want some advice though. I have been dating my girlfriend for a little over a year now and we have been bonding and growing well. I would say we have a fairly healthy relationship. I don't want to go into details of what I have done for her or she done for me but. I can assure you I make sure she doesn't lack any basics.
Recently I wanted to use a nice picture of hers for a profile so I ask for her phone and asked for her gallery precisely cos she passwords every single app on her phone including her pic gallery. She opened it and handed me the phone. As I was going through I saw a picture she took in a very posh room white bedsheets, posh hotel like furniture she wore a big t-shirt she normally use to sleep and just inner tights shorts.
I asked her immediately where was this cos we see almost every other day. I looked at the date of the picture and saw that it tallied with the time she said she wanted to go stay with her friend that lives alone for one week cos she normally stays with her family.
Rather than answer she collected the phone and didn't talk. I kept asking she now said it was a guy that we both knows room. That she just went to greet him. I knew it was a lie cos the room was mega posh with white bedsheet and the time stamp on the picture was 9.22pm during lockdown time
I have since asked her to let me see the picture again she has refused rather claiming that I am damn to jealous and have trust issues so she won't show me.
What do I do. I am 99% sure the pictures were taken in a posh hotel room.
Guy, they had sex with your girlfriend that day. You know what it is. Stop trying to rationalise iranu. Better leave or else, you will cry in the end.
Icyjayz: Reason why I stopped dating them and got a foreign girl, the most is that they have nothing to offer except their virgina and most of them feels you own them something because you are having sex with them, I don't really understand. the broke ones are the worst jeez! I pray no sane guy encounter any of them.
XshegzzyeeiX: Good morning. Romancelanders. Welcome to midweek.
So I'm of the opinion that in a relationship, a man and a woman ought to care for one another. But some women feel so entitled that they only expect a man to take care of them without reciprocating the gestures.
It's very wrong for a woman to bring that statement of "can you take care of me?" when I ask her out. I brandish her a red card immediately she makes such statement.
I detest selfish women, and I believe so many others do.
Only simps welcome such waywardness.
PS: I've braced up for your criticisms, insults and cuss words.
Feminists, waddaya have to say. Alpha males, what's your take on this matter. White Knights, let's hear you out.
Is it right or totally wrong for a woman to pop that question "can you take care of me" when you ask her out?
If she can't take care of herself, what on earth are you doing with her in the first place?
Kizzygentle: He was a threat to US tech Billionaires. He was rising at a fast pace. Fear human beings. This form of wickedness dosent happen only in Nigeria. It happens with all humans be u white or black. That's why I laugh when people criticise Nigerians for their wicked acts. Envy is d root of wickedness. All humans exhibit it. Rip great chap.
Ehenn they have come o. Oga has solved the murder case already. He was a threat to yen yen yen yen yen....mshew I know you have a right to air your opinion yeah, but envy is not always the case. It could have been anything ranging from business deal gone bad to even mistaken identity. It could have been anything. Allow NYPD detectives do their work.
When you have a bunch of people that refuse education, this is what you get. A large number of adults come together to amend a law and all they can come up with is this foolish recommendation? Like I always say the quality of leaders is only a reflection of the quality of a society which is in turn, a reflection of the quality of its values. It's a vicious cycle: you cannot value cows over education and expect to have sense. You just can't.
azvm: 2014. i met a guy on Nairaland, i'll call him C. i'm not a new member, only using a new moniker. I was 27, him 29 (now we're 32, 35). i'm yoruba, him igbo. we met in Religion where we were encouraging one suicidal, depressed dude in a thread. he PMed me abt liking what i wrote then the friendship began. we had things in common, had interesting discussions, talked about ourselves and families, problems, etc. we agreed to be in a ldr, communicated mostly over email, whatsapp texts. we've done video calls too several times and till three years ago but i put a stop to them bc he was always asking me to show him parts of my body
2016. i was doing a school research project i needed a website for. C told me he knew someone in Nigeria to build it for me, said he would pay him the money, about $100. after the website was built , a week later he started hampering me to return the money, hurling insults at me, telling me i stole his money and he would tell everyone i took his money and ran. i told him i thought the money had been a gift. we were in a relationship, i didn't think i had to return it. after all the verbal abuse i sent him the money -actually sent him more than $100, then he was happy. it wasn't until i told him how bad his behavior was towards me that he apologized. after this, he wanted me to visit him in Nigeria (we had talked abt me visiting Nigeria since 2015) but i couldn't make it. he soon quit talking to me, disappeared. i didn't hear from him at all for three months, no calls, no nothing. i ended up meeting a man here, a Jamaican. i wasn't attracted to this man, we weren't in a relationship. i don't want to get into these details but i was sexually assaulted and lost my virginity, at 29. i reported to the police last year, it's still an ongoing police case. i somehow blame C. i've felt if he hadn't disappeared i wouldn't hv fallen into the hands of this rapist. C knew my goal was always to save myself for marriage like i had been doing.
rewind. some background. before i met C, i was in a relationship when i was 25, in 2012. 2012. i met a yoruba guy my Uni. he was an international student. we never had sex due to me wanting to wait for marriage. we kissed, hugged during our weekly outings. we saw each other once a week for movies, dinner, bowling. he ended up cheating. 7 months later, i broke up w him. this dude is history but is who i consider my ex if you ask who my ex is. i consider this relationship my first ever relationship, the only real-life relationship i've ever been in all my life, though a non-sexual one.
back to C. 2017. he did encourage me after i told him what had happened to me, provided moral support. but he then disappeared again. when he contacted me four months later, i was upset, we exchanged some words over email- mostly me calling him dishonest, unfaithful, untrustworthy, which were all true. he took things too far and was verbally abusive calling me horrible names and using the things i've told him about myself to insult me, like the sexual assault. he apologized later but i was quite hurt. we decided to start anew for a relationship mostly doing whatsapp texts and email as usual. he isn't a phone call person, he has the tendency to need his space for a week a two- i never complained.
2018. he disappeared again this time for 8 months, from april to november, no communication at all. i had told myself to forget about him. he suddenly called my phone one november afternoon 5 times. when we got to talking he confessed he was engaged to an igbo girl in Nigeria, was busy making preparations for the marriage but her family were making too many financial demands so he opted to call it off. i was shocked to hear he had been engaged. i told him he only contacted me again since the marriage plans didn't work out. he apologized, said it's me he wants to marry, i'm a simple girl, i'll give him peace of mind, blah blab blah. he wanted us to start where we left off. i told him i no longer trusted him but said we could try again, see where it goes
2019. we continue and things were fine till Valentine's Day. a week before V-day he said he loved me, promised to never leave me again. on Valentine's day i got no Valentine's message from him either or email or whatsapp, no call, nothing. meanwhile i would see him on whatsapp. fast forward to two weeks later i needed a logo for a blog of mine. i found a guy on nairaland for it. initially i wanted to send C the money to give to the guy but i decided to send him the money myself, i sent him the money then C started ignoring me. long story short the guy didn't send my logo after receiving the money. i told C, asked him to call the guy for me to release my logo, he refused. after this, i stopped communicating with C myself this time, he didn't contact me either, not till later last year
2020. fast forward to last month he told me abt his laptop which got damaged after a power outage. i started looking online to buy another laptop for him ( i didn't tell him ). my plan was to surprise him, send it to him for his birthday in October. we chatted on whatsapp the next day, i was doing my best to make him feel better, asked him what laptop he's using now, other questions to show him i care. all of a sudden he went of on me calling me deplorable n all sorts of names, saying stuff he knows will hurt me. i dunno maybe he was having a bad day or what. i told him i was planning to buy another laptop for him but he carried on insulting me. i blocked him. asides, his communication towards me recently has been sexual -he's always talkn abt wanting to make love to me, how attracted he is to me ( he has my pics ), how i'm his fantasy. he emailed me days later talkn abt me being the love of his life. he first refused apologizing for all his insults said over whatsapp, he said he doesn't need to apologize before i forgive. he finally said "i'm sorry ok" days later, i told him there's no more relationship. he says he doesn't want to let me go, i'm the only one who understands him. lately i've been thinking abt sponsoring him or going to nigeria to marry him. despite the fights he hs been my friend over the years. plus i'm thinking being in the same place may help us bond a lot better, start a family someday. my fears are he may not be a good father or husband, will be abusive, or i may find out he's got a wife in Nigeria. what do u guys think i should do?
*he's still on nairaland though not too active. he may or may not see this thread... it wouldn't matter either way.
Dear friend, I read your post thoroughly. Do not, I repeat. do not let this guy into your life. He's bad news. He is just using you as his convenience. The old toy he can always come back to play with. The moment he finds a newer shiny toy, voom...off he goes again. He has done it before he will do it again and again and each subsequent time will be worse. You'll find love, don't worry.
My dear FRIEND (as they say Police is your friend), you already know what to do. You have seen it all and have finally decided that this is not what you want for yourself and your family. Kindly follow your gut. However, you have to be strategic about this. You have to plan carefully on how you will proceed. You have to be sure you have secured something that will bring the money to feed your family before you exit. Remember, you have mouths to feed now. Also, try working towards having multiple sources of income. Someone suggested taking courses on security. With your level of experience, that would be a great plus. If it were me, I may work with a security firm for a while (Marine security, personal security, etc.) to properly understand the business and make contacts who would be useful to me when I branch out and start my security firm. I would also focus on a niche (personal security, maritime security, regular domestic security, private bodyguards, etc.). Most importantly, put this to God in prayer. May God guide you, my friend. Shalom.
Oga that instruction was directed at the Israelites by God through Moses. Are you an Israelite?? You people will be interpreteing what they did not ask you to interprete.
Travel › Re: My Friends Exploiting Money From Me, Advice Needed by solonubinho(m): 7:49pm On Jul 27, 2020
