₦airaland Forum

You need some counselling. He should be the last person in this world you should be speaking to. He is a bigger idiot to be talking to you about marriage.

smileing:
@vululadilolo

thank you so much. I have not reported to anyone yet
hurt, pains and disdain on myself have left me discouraged.

all these while, I have been offering him all I could (companionship, encouragement, emotional support, friendship, spiritual assistance ,inspiration ) except for my body. and he made me love him so much little did I know he would come for my body .

my worth is not based on the hymen but yet I value my chasity.
I'm broken cos I encouraged people to be chaste. who do I talk to. the therapist I tried talking to tried molesting me too

I'm deformed now as I am feeling suicidal
what I built in years just crashed within a twinkling of an eye

Thank God we have a father that knows it is t about pens and being the head of the family.

teemy:
My dear, there is everything special about childbirth. My wife and I decided on minimum of three and max of four kids. After the first one I raked that we are only ending it at one after being at the hospital and seeing all she went through. She had her way and now we have two. No one is is telling her now after much of her life is changed around just two kids.

In any business transaction, projections are made and sometimes based on new deciding factors, precious arrangements can be changed towards a better outcome. Also, the more invested party is expected to make more if decisions and get more returns. You cannot weigh the impact or say of a man that does the semen delivery to be equal to that of the woman who has to carry for nine months and till the delivery date, she is always one step away from death if not properly handled. Made worse that our country Nigeria has one of the highest mortality rates on deliveries in the world. If anyone's opinion is important, I tell you it is hers.

There is also a lot a woman would lose during the quest of carrying and raising kids. Her career potential and efficiency drops, she has to live her life as well as that of her kids together and what about the other aspects should there be a separation or even death of the hubby?

Child raising is not beans and the person whose vote is heavier is the woman.

Wishing you well - Teemy

Where did I mention that my mum was less of a woman now? I can see the time your parents spent with you paid of, which is exactly why you replied in shorthand.

A woman can also decide she doesn't want many kids. It is better if it is mutual, it is best if they agreed before marriage. A child's well being, edubcation and quality of life are important to the mother as they are to the father. A woman decision not to have more kids is actually more fundamental than the father's. It is her body, she will spend more time with the child than the father unless the father is willing to reverse the role. If you care about a child, you won't force it on an unwilling mother. It can be damaging and the society had enough damaged kids to care for. Her decision is selfish but the man will be better off without a frustrated nag.

The bride price argument is BS. We may joke about it but we dont care. It has always been about the men the the women anyways.

SwagPower:
U sayin ur mum is less of a woman compared u r?..Simply cos she didnt aspire to all d tins u aspiring to above?.. ...


The female race has bn subjugated for milleniums so i undastand d push bak d women of d current generation r mounting...

Am not gon say ama feminst like some guys do.. bt i'll say am a respecter of equity fairness and justice in all ramifications of human endeavours...

But d "African woman" (n am singling dem out from oda women) has done very little to justify and aid d course of true feminism..

u dnt live in Africa and try to espouse principles prevalent in d More developed world..dts like livin in d core north n flaunting d rules of sharia...repercussions will often follow dis kinda acts nd in some instances the comeuppances r grave and severe..

the white woman has paid her dues ova d centuries esp d 20th century and now desavs some accolades..

bt my African sisters jst got wind of feminism a few yrs ago n now dey seem to b d champions of d cause. ..


i av ginormous respect 4 d institution of marriage bt myself will neva engage i. It..

bt fundamentally marriage is a partnership n d moment d vows r taken d 2 pple engaged in it cease from being 2 to 1 single entity workin n supporting each oda...

dts y i can neva undastand the new wave of "its my body..its my money" in 21st century marriages..

the white woman tho has a little justification for chanting d "its my body" punch line..

bt cmon my african sisters!!! Na ur body?.

.lets drop d hypocrisy of radical feminism n be realistic 4 one moment pls..

In africa today as it was obtainable in Europe men pay brideprices..some of dis ridiculously exorbitant!!..

The whiteman doesnt pay a bride price anymore..

if u trace the origin n etymology of the word "bride price" u will discover dt it was paid by d suitor to d fatherr of a lady as a kinda "purchasing price"..at dt moment after payment d lady ceases to b her father's..she now utterly belongs to d man..

bt becos we r in d era of political correctness no one wants to say he's purchasing a woman ..


4 d African woman d payment of a bride price supposedly makes her her husband's ..therefore dt talk of "is my body is null n void"...

bt like i earlier stated, i dnt believe in "I" in marriage..therefore her body is hers as well as her husband's in equal measure..same applies to d man..

if there is a decision to not make babies again..it shld b a mutual consensus..Mayb due to medical issues( like history of a ruptured uterus or some chronic medical condition )dt preclude the woman frm gettin pregnant or safely carryin a pregnancy to term n not a unilateral decision by some woman whos bride price has been paid in full..

#Shalom

Oshiomole''s big mouth may doom APC. He thinks politics na union matter.

Your primary role in life is to feed, have shelter and sex.


Some people desire much more than those for themselves and their offsprings.

oyetpel:
Our primary role in life is to feed, have shelter and sex.

There are exceptions to the rule.

For example, I will not advise a woman who cannot cope emotionally and mentally to be kids. There are many 'mothers' out there who are not what you will call a mother. They are narcissists and sadists.

A woman or man that does not want to have kids should not be forced to have kids.

Our mothers did not aspire like us. Our mothers were contended with having a family without a career. Our mothers did not care about their bodies or their health. Nowadays we have something called quality of life and it is more than the ability to feed and shelter children.

maasoap:
This 21st century people sha! When did all these start? Like our mothers were not having as much as they wanted in the past.

I am pretty sure I followed all the grammar rules.

BiafranBushBoy:
That I didn't understand your simple unstructured question becomes I am picking up a fight?

Ciao.

Really? If you can't understand, then it is clear you are trying to pick a fight without reason.

BiafranBushBoy:
I don't understand your question ma'am. You should paraphrase.

The man certainly had the right to defend himself however the best option would be to report her to the appropriate authorities. Just like your master, you have a thing against poco. Have a little liver and confront her yourself instead of hiding behind your master.

valdovas:
You mind her?

So violence is the appropriate response to the situation instead of maybe stepping away from her gripping her hand firmly to prevent further contact after all he is a guy and stronger than her. What if he slapped her twice and she fainted?

What is rape called before pressing charges?

What will he call it if he is defending the slap in court?

BiafranBushBoy:
It is called sexual assault when the guy press charges...

if he is defending the slap in court, he can't even call it sexual assault!!!

You guys should check up with a lwayer na...

It is called sexual assault.

BiafranBushBoy:
Trying to school you here might be quite difficult since your IQ is quite smaller than your last toe.

Go and read your crime book and know that touching someone's private part without consent is considered "groping" and not sexual assault.

In saner climates, you stand more chances of going to jail if eventually, your fingerprints appear on the person's face.

I wouldn't want to educate you further, since IQ is a major player here.

All these headache for sex

Make you kukuma wait till marriage

If you want to criticise him, Pray tell how to teach a child 1-3 how keep off Daddy''s glasses?

Psoul:
Ok Madam.... wen you have yours and they start showing those mischievous acts, allow them to grow with them and term them kids' mischievous act afterall they will grow up to know what is right and wrong.

Good luck

You know kids can be mischievous but you took time to criticise his parenting. Well, this is his children''s mischeviousness. Deal with it!

Psoul:
I am finding it difficult to understand what u are trying to say.

All the same, training a child is not easy but when u fail to do the needful at the formation stage, know it that you have complicated your issue.
You wrongly assumed that I never had time for my kids. Sis u are very wrong. I have four of them, additional adopted child and another (househelp) though we don't refer to her as such. She is just like one one my children. I spend much time with them that I hardly have much time to hang out without my family.

I try to be firm wen it is necessary and gently teach when I am supposed to. I don't abuse my kids.
May be you problem is dat u may be too lazy to do what u are supposed to do or u believe that when they grow up, they will come to know what is right or wrong.
I am not writing off kids' mischievousness. Yes, they can, but there are many things that they cannot do as compared to other kids.

My sister, stop believing that "this is how kids behave theory" and start training your kids the way you will like them to be.
Those wonderful kids u watch on television behaving extraordinarily wonderful were also brought up by parents. You can make your do better.
You mean to tell me that if that substance happened to be poisonous one and it eventually harmed those kids, you will still come here to blame the kids. Your line of comment will change. The blame will go to the parents for either bn careless or refusing to train the kids well.

Train them well, they won't try this rubbish in your house. You will not have to shout for them to do the right thing.

Kids love to play with sand. Have u not seen kids that will cry wen their bare feet touch sand not to talk of pouring it on their body.
So stop bn lazy and train that child well.

8 Pervert liked your perverted post. You should be proud of yourself. Creep!

juanjo2:
see 12yrs old girl breast
God u 4 lock male en one world females en another world, then we will have couples world, if Mr smith reaches d age of marriage, he will enter females world to choose him wife and take her straight to the couples world.
This temptation is much oo....

But he has married her knowing she has a child. What exactly is your point?

revolt:
For those abusing the op ....u can contact op n adopt tge child. Bloody hypocrites. Even the ladies advising bs here wnt evn let their brodas msrry single parents.....mtchweee

It ia surprising that it is the men critisicing the parenting of these kids.

Please you have never had time for your kid. If you did, you wont be talking about training...Oh sorry! I think you meant abusing them. It has to be eitye rof the two..How often do you abuse your kids in the name of training? Shouldn't you be more concerned that your kids are growing up to be zombies with an uninteresting approach to things around them.

Psoul:
When you are able to train children very well. Let them know what is right and wrong even from the forming stage, they will not just behave anyhow and u will have rest of mind wen they are alone in the house.

Some will tell me that it is not a matter of training. I tell u it has all to do with training.
When u teach a child never to remove her slippers whenever she is outside the house, she will grow up with that. When u train her in a way that once u see a stained clothe on her, you call her and say, baby, look at this stain on ur clothe, it makes u look dirty and you are not supposed to wear a dirty cloth. She will always cry for her clothe to be removed at the sight of any stain on the clothe.

When parents have time from time to time to bath their children, dress them up, tell them how to use each cosmetic, they will hardly use them wrongly.

Tell me how the child will bear to stain her cloth and body with that white substance seen in the picture if the parents have time to teach/train them rightly?

When u fail in this all important responsibility, you will cry when u are supposed to smile.

For me, the holiday period is one of my lovely period with me and my family. Sometimes I wish it can be extended.
Please, don't get to busy with your job/business that ur family suffers it.

Mr Perfect, I don't think you have ever babysat at your kids before. I can only pity your wife. She must gone through a lot raising your kids.

I dont undestand your point of beating of kids for doing what was expected of them? Who knew kids have the same IQ of an adult?

Mafulul:
Frequently, I see pictures like these where little children, if left alone in the house dirty the house and their bodies with all sorts of things like paints,powders,creams, jelly etc. I blame the parents for keeping these substances within reach of the children. Don't parents think of the danger in this? What if the substance is corrosive and acidic? I pity new generation parents, a child may be engaged in dangerous play with harmful objects or substance, all they can utter is "junior stop it" without spanking junior and taking away the object from him/her.

They are not too young to be sent to kindergarten where they can socialise with their age group and learn one or two things.

chrisj2:
These children are too little to be in school - Nja parents too quick to shirk their responsibilities; they send 2 or 3 year-olds to formal schools. And during holidays, they moan when they actually have to parent the kids.

Yes, it is not easy as people have to work but the children did not ask to be born... If you cannot feed, house and look after them, then dont bother!

I am a Muslim. And no this is not but being useless or shameless. she is young and human and she is curious. It is basically normal. Muslim or Christian. Southern or Northern.

You shall be healed sha.

Olabenjamen22:
you think they are useless and shameless like you southern girls.


You people are disgrace to Christianity. Mtcheew

Epic fail! Try harder!

HajimeSaito:
But only one is notorious all over the world for doing it for religious purposes.

It is also common sense that there are several other gangs that abduct women for sex.

HajimeSaito:
Shut you mouth if you don't have anything constructive to say. It is a notorious fact that MUDSLIME rape gangs have been targeting young non-MUDSLIME girls for sexual exploitation all over the world. Not just in Nigeria.

What clue? A stu_pid girl found a man that can afford to give her N500 unlike the N20 her parents give her OR
a stu_pid girl decided that she likes sex more than schooling....pick one!

Delivar:
The information about her being a Christian will give clues about what must have happened to her. That will make investigators know how to proceed.

Na today stu_pid girls they run away to see man?

Shey he doesn't know the way to Aso rock?

His leg injury could be caused by something else.

How do you compensate emotional investment?

Hanseel1:
This sounds funny.
She spent $1.2m on him and he compensated her with $10m and a house, what could be more generous than that?

Too much emotions, so much stereotypes!

It could have been better and shorter.

It is not any perfume. I think it may be the change in weather.


If you know anyone who stays outside the country and doesn't use strong perfume, try and smell their clothes. More often than not, it will smell exactly like okrika clothes.

Bleep:
Yes, I love 'okrika' clothes In fact I buy them a lot! That distinctive 'okrika' scent is simply bliss to me, hmmm hmmm !! Come to think of it, why is it that most, if not all 'okrika' clothes smell that way, I mean those imported from outside Naija? Right from my kindergarten years till now, those second-hand clothes still smell the same. Do they spray a particular perfume on it? If yes, please what's the name of the perfume? I really need to buy the perfume. Somebody help me out please. Thanks in advance.

God has been wonderful through his men

When did it become about your family? If she is after one, there are many married Virgins who wouldn't give you what you have had with her so far.

There is nothing good or bad that will happen about the child that can't happen with your own kids.

NairalandFAYOSE:
I don't Think My family will like this. they don't really like her that much Cus they say she is "AFTER ONE"