₦airaland Forum

Elistho:
What you said sums up everything, but, will you be happy to hear your child say he/she owes you nothing?

Put yourself in the shoes. Life is a chain, someone gave birth to your parents, they did you, you'll do another, another will do another... And so on....

Parents are for children when they've Nothing, when children turn something and have something, parents becomes the children's responsibility.

yes i would be happy why becoz i would have prepared them to understand the joices i made and my responsibility to those choices

If you teach them right from the start there is a
chance of having a good moral compass

If is the responsibility of your money to look after you not your kids, the idea is either have savings or pension that will look after you than kids, your own kids also need to start saving or working towards their own retirement

Most africans we see kids as retirement package not releasing that they have their own retirement to save for

Its is your responsibility as parent to look after your children to their full potential while you also save or work towards your pension

tensazangetsu20:
Religious people say humans have free will to do anything and the things we do as a result of our free will be atoned for one day. I agree that humans have free will alright but why is it the most important things that can make life much more bearable for you as a human being are completely out of your control leaving you with just mundane things.

The first thing is to be born. Honestly, if you gave every human on earth a choice today to not exist or continue living, I can assure you that at least 70 percent of the human race will choose not to exist. A lot of people are going through so much suffering and pain that we can't even understand. I am a strong anti-natalist at heart and I believe that the greatest salvation a human being can have is to not be born but how fair is it that two people can just have sex and gbam a baby is born. No one asks for that child's permission whether he wants to live or not and whether he loves it or not he's born and that's it. It makes absolutely no sense at all. I believe this is the most important decision humans should be able to make with our free will and somehow we cant make it.

The second is the type of country we would love to be born in. If this was even a possible choice, I wonder if there would be any human beings in Africa. Your nationality pretty much predicts the kind of life you are going to have on earth but even a bad nationality can be mitigated by some characteristics which we also do not get to choose

1. A high intellect: Honestly even though things are bad in Nigeria and generally the African continent, suffering can be mitigated somehow with a very high intellect especially if one goes to school. Straight As in Wassce, First class in the university. High Gre scores. Scholarships to the west of which of course they would welcome such a person with open arms. People say geniuses arent born but made but believe me, that's bullcrap. There's what you call God-given intellect. Everything with regards to academia is just easy for the person. When I was in the university, I had classmates who would study and study and study and they still had a third-class whereas the best student in my department didnt even used to attend lectures. He was so gifted and only used to study a few hours to exams. I am sure a lot of people can attest to meeting such kind of people in their academic lives. This high intellect also translates to helping them get the best-paying jobs. With a high intellect, they would easily scale the most difficult test interviews of companies while those with low intellect will never have a job to do. No one chose to be born with a low IQ and some people struggle all their lives to increase it but it stays one place. This is also something humans could choose before they were born but yet with free will you cant choose this.

2. Good looks: This is pretty much self-explanatory. Good looks will take you anywhere but a lot of people are born ugly. No one chose to be ugly but it was bestowed on them. Another thing we could choose but we couldn't.

3. Wealth: The last one is being born into a wealthy family. Nigeria, alongside the rest of the African continent, is a shitty place to exist but being born into wealth alleviates some of that suffering. Another thing we could choose and with our free will we cant choose.


But then even if you were born into a developed country with a low IQ you can still have a decent life. Drive a good car, live in a nice house. You can be an artisan and artisans in the west earn a lot of money. Being an artisan in a third world shithole is a sure way to die in poverty


I feel that life is just a game where someone higher than us is just using humans as pawns for his own enjoyment. I mean why should someone be born in Canada, Switzerland and someone is born in Nigeria, Liberia, Ghana etc. Why should some people struggle through school even with hard work and some people just breeze through. They tell you as a child you can be whatever you want but there are certain professions you cant touch if your IQ is less than 140. How many people have such high IQs. Why should a man be constantly rejected for being short and ugly while another gets the attention of ladies because hes handsome. None of us chose these things but we came and met them all here and we are told we have free will. The things that will make life enjoyable for us we couldnt choose and now we must work hard not to anger our creator.


I feel someone somewhere is just using us for his own excitement.

When i look at the bible there is NO FREE WILL, becoz the two options are given to us. To me free will is to options to out the options you ate given. Kids are a good example usually you would give them options and you they would pick outside the option you gave them to me thats free will

The bible gave us the options not free will, yes you are choosing from the options and nothing else meaning you dont your own option its preset

Then also the bible says i knew you before you are born and i know every decision move etc you will make et meaning its game as if i know your every decision move etc i know the end if you regardeless any decision you will make

Elistho:
It is another day for you to know parents owe their offsprings a lot. In the words of a singer, until they "stand strong", parents owe them a mighy edged sword.

Two individuals decided to start a relationship, get married, have sex and bring forth children. What was the plan? To come tell the kids in a few years that they should find their way? They're grown?

As an offspring, your parent owe you a lot, they owe you education, they owe you an average lifestyle, don't be ashamed because you're still under your parents roof and feeding from them? Where are we supposed to get all these from? Our ass?

You also owe parents a lot when you stand strong, at the end, it's a win win for everybody. Both parents and offsprings. Don't follow social media standards, they said you're 25 and living with your parents, a shame. Standards? Who set the standards?

Article Credit-- Elisha Thompson.
Coined out from Facebook.
10/09/2022.

When you say we owe them what do you mean, no children owe parents as parents made a choice to bring out something that parents are solely responsible aka a child, in basic simple terms having children is no different as having a car the owner is responsible for the fuel, oil maintaince, insurance and annually roadworth cerfitificate. When the car owe the owner then it mean the car was bought for business and it should produce profit from it up and down

The same with parents, by nature whether you had planned to have kids or not the moment that child is born it is the responsibilty of those who produced that child no other excuses if you didnt want that responsibilty then you shouldnt have unprotectecd se/x

You here parents claiming i carried you for 9 months who else was supposed to do it? or i sacrified for you who else was supposed to that, African parent sound as if it was someone responsibility or they were forced to have you therefore diverting from their original plan but the truth is they knew the responsibility before even having se-x.

Yes we can show gratitude for our parents but we dont owe them anything towards looking after us from birth it is their responsibility. Yes things can be hard in looking after your own kids but dont blackmail your own kids as if parents did you a favour no it was there responsibility from day one

tnenge:
Am enjoying every bit of my marriage but the only problem am having is the case of my mother inlaw's excessive demands.
My wife and I are blessed with two kids. I realized that she has being the one giving her mom clues as to when I have money because we operate a joint account. I have tried talking to her peacefully but she mostly over discuss our conversation with the mom? How can I resolve this without painting my self black before her people?
Cc lalasticlala

Let me get you right, you said she is ever demanding therefore i conclude she is directly asking from you, if wife was the one giving out i think you would have its your wife giving outn

I suggest you learn to say No and dont be used as if are now her husband. Her husband or whoever was responsible for is still is with, taking advantage of you as son
in law. Being married to her daughter doesnt mean she becames youe full responsibility

Katier00:
please read again, digest what you have written down and tell me why you wrote this.

its a common mindset of most african men one they seperate from the mother, most forget about the welfare of the child, most men try to play the judge and jury. Whereby they say "if i send the money she will eat it with her new man etc," whether she will eat or not, its the people around you and her that will judge her not yourself. You just have to do what you are supposed to do unless in extreme cases whereby the mother is putting the child in danger eg drinking and on drugs all the time

Let the child know love even when parents are separated those visits are important they keep the spirit of child very high than not knowing the other parent at all

And usually the way the missing parent treats the child is the same way the new partner will treat child eg if the missing parent doesnt care and show love to child the new man in the mother's life wont care much too either it would be to the mother to make child important to the new man. But if the missing parent does regular visits to his own child, the new man will know that he care is also being monitored and reduces changes of abuse in any form

holocron:
You have been advised not to go anywhere by those who have passed through it but it's unlikely you will heed it until you put your hand in the fire and gain experience first hand that it burns.

You won't listen but still: The best thing for you is to totally forget them and forge on with your life. Concentrate fully on your business or your career or whatever your life's mission is. If you have money to spare you can be sending her child upkeep. If you don't have just forget it and don't even stress yourself. Feel very free. The minute she walked out on you without your permission has absolved you of the child upkeep responsibility. It's up to her to upkeep the child. You can't be upkeeping a child and be labouring to have a say. They will use that child as a weapon to torture and ruin you. Find another woman, younger and more beautiful and have another child or children. Name the new ones the same name as the lost one(s). Rest assured that if you succeed and become successful in life, come what may, the lost ones will surely come back to claim the dividends of their paternity. But if you are a failure, everyone will deny you. OYO will be your lot. You won't accept this advice, but later you will regret not using it.

you are putting your own version of things, so far the child has not been used as weapon, its 3months aftern wife has moved

why should he rush to marry and have kids ? or marry a young wife does that solve the issue of the child ?

All he needs to do is go there book a hotel and see his daughter ( assume its town or city )

Sominablack:
Goodevening all, please I need mature advise from the house, my wife left my house for over three months now with my little daughter,though I am still taking care of my little daughter by sending upkeep.

Now my limit daughter is on holiday and called that I should come and visit her, and I ask her to give her mum the phone where I told her mum to come back with my daughter at least for the holiday or send my daughter to her parents (my wifes parent) where i can easily get access to her too.

But my wife said the state of security challenge in the road they will go through to do any of my wish above is a big issue that i should rather come since i am alone and they are two.

House is it advisable i visit for the sake of my daughter? Or what do I do for the sake of my daughters request this holiday?

Thanks for your input.

i dont see your issue here unless if you
are already married to someone else whereby she will feel insecure by you travelling to see your daughter, but you said she moved away 3 months ago which i doubt you remarried

So travel and see your daughter simple,

AfroAgroPower:
In Many Religions and Cultures, According To The Standards of The Society; The essence of Marriage is to Marry A Woman as A Virgin.


The Virginity of A Woman is Why Her Dowry Should Be Paid in The First Place for Marriage.



However; Nowadays; We have Men paying for Dowries for Women who were not Virgins when They Met Them.



This is a Societal Decay that has corrupted God's Purpose of Marriage for Humanity.



Today, we have women putting on white gowns during their White Weddings in Churches to Symbolize that They Are Still Virgins after they must have Defiled Their Bodies which is Supposed to Be The Temple of God Almighty.






This is the Biggest reason we have many broken marriages in The World Today.



Many Marriages were established on Poor Foundations.









If you want to succeed in Life as A Man; Ensure Your Foundation is Not Faulty.



For If The Foundation is Faulty, What can the Righteous Do ?

You got poor assessment of life regarding marrying a virgin and reality of life

Marrying a virgin just gives a biased assurance that your wife might be faithfull in the marriage or you has man you would be faithful
life has its challenges it doesnt care that the problems of life would less compared to those who married a non-virgin

Virgnity doesnt gaurantee a succesfull marriage, why judge the success of marriage by a condition you take away in the 1st of week of marriage when you have the rest of life to live and by the end of life thats when we can the link marrying a virgin is equall to succesful marriage

of which the journey of life or marriage has proved your theory wrong

the time between marrying a virgin to one's death or divorce alot happens whatever happens inbetween can determine or shape the outcome of marriage not virginity


Having a vegetables straight from your garden doesnt not gaurantee that when cooked they will taste better to those bought from the supermarket the cook and ingredience will determine the taste

Davies25:
Hello familylanders,
I have a 3 year old girl who's my life. She's cute, good and almost perfect.
But recently, I've discovered she's intentionally being disobedient. Like, you literally have to threaten her sometimes to do somethings. People say she's spoilt but i don't see that element in her. I just see a growing girl. She doesn't overdo things.

The reason for this thread be say...
Uhm, my girl likes to cuddle, she likes to be touched, more like a cat �. I didn't see anything sexual in it until my baby was Caught Kissing a 4 year old male. My heart has been paining me since then. Have i failed as a father?
The mom wanted me to scold her or even beat her but I've been confused. Does she know it's a sexual act or she just saw someone doing it?
Can my baby understand sex education at 3?
What should be my reaction?
I'm lost really.

i think most people and you got scared with word kiss, most africans we associate a kiss with sex, like someone said kids are like a sponge they consume what they see but it doesnt mean the child know about sex.

can you explain the type of kiss you saw a peck on the cheek or lips, remember as adults we play with them children giving them those pecks on the cheeks or lips sometimes they learn from that and do it on other children but without the knowledge of association to sex

Nothing wrong with that except that as adult our mind are also corrupted with dirty thoughts

In your situation your daughter copied from somewhere most likely within your home

Davies25:
I will be creating several threads about the troubles am in. I'm the definition of problematic.
Let's talk about this one first.

About two years ago, i employed a sales girl. She was good ( a single mom).
Few months later, i got very sick. I couldn't take care of the business for months. She took care of it. Increased our sales by almost 100%.
I felt i needed to make her more committed to the business since i don't even know if i will be alive in few months. So i adopted her daughter and i started dating her; but with a caveat; no serious relationship. It was supposed to be casual and it wasn't supposed to affect the business. A year later, she moved to my place. With an agreement to move out as soon as she got her own place.

Fast forward, I met a girl, she's everything i ever wanted. But she's way younger ( about 10 years age difference). All my friends advised against it. I was advised to stick to my girlfriend
Note; I'm a sickle cell disease patient. My girlfriend is AS. So we can't have kids even if we decide to get serious. We both agreed i could date any time i want to settle down.

Now, the problem; my girlfriend called my new girl and told her about us. Told her to stay away.
I got angry and we had a fight cos we didn't agree on a for better for worse.
New babe had to go back to school cos she couldn't handle the situation. Though we still talk and she promised to come home when I get my single mom girlfriend a place ( i got a self contained close to the business, it's very expensive but i had no choice. The place will be ready in a month time).
New girlfriend agreed to stay low for the one month.
I need my old girl cos of the business.
I love my new girl so much. She's everything i could dream of.
I'm stuck.
New girl messaged me tonight that she can't cope. We need to break up. It felt like i died. But i can't force anything on her, anyone that would love me need to love me on a personal decision scale cos of my many challenges.

New girl's ex is a rich guy. He pampers her. I know i can't afford that kind of lifestyle for her. She's not complaining but, there's no how she won't compare.

What should I do?

basically you made the most common mistake most men do fall in love to one's ability/ talent than the real person

You fall in love with her ability to be able to run the business, it would have been s great advantage if she was actual wife becoz you would be assured that business and kids would be in safe hands

Unfortunately the lady came in 1st as worker ? then u adopted her daughter out of pity and eventually moved in, so in your eyes she is not the women fell for from the start

You already look down on yourself when you compare to the ex of your new girl that its self will eat you whenever u have few understanding

You really need to clear your mind on
the two or else start afresh with very new girl

Lighthouse50:
Biblically the woman in the other thread as made the right decision to go. Technically she is nnt a wife since the man's former wife is alive. For her to discover, she needs to go.

dont assume everyone follows and live by the bible

and dont apply the bible in everything

Prettychild:
The lady too needs to be blamed. Doesn’t she know he was married? If he was a poor man would she have opened her legs for him? What happened to women supporting women? Couldn’t she have slept with a single man?

really ?

its not the lady'sb (the maid) job to be faithful to anyone. it is those who are married who are meant to faithful to each other, in this case hubby should be faithful to his wife and so is wife to her hubby

Do you think when the two families (both in laws) knows that hubby impregnanted the maid, they will call the maid for family meeting ? No they will call the two people who signed to be faithful to each other aka hubby and wife. in this case hubby is guilty of being unfaithful not maid

Yes maid lacks moral but it doesnt make her responsible to keep or maintain the faithfulness of the married couple she works for

the reason people empower cheating spouses, its because you fight the wrong person the 3rd one instead of fighting the one who stepped out of his marriage to cheat

DenreleDave:
I have seen and read so many stories about husband catching his wife sleeping with another person and before you know it, people are quick to hold the guy and beat him ignoring the lady dt carried herself down to where she cheated..

Who do you think should be blamed for this act?

A. The married woman who lied to a single guy that she is single and slept with him.

B. The single guy who wasn't aware that she is married because she portrayed herself as a single lady searching.

Who should the society hold responsible for the bad act?

neither are responsible the girl or boy

even if society beat the so called girl or the married woman

still if it is in their nature they will still find another victim to use, is society going to beat the new victim

a cheating person is responsible for his/her action s/he is the one who is meant to be beaten as s/he has out same in his/her own marriage

Maverick777:
Top of the day Fam!

A close buddy of mine is in deep shit, just 2 days back he confided in me telling me his maid (who the wife employed herself) is 14weeks pregnant!

HOW IT UNFOLDED
Earlier in the year, his wife got an invite to do her masters program in Scotland and they have a 5year old Son, so she elected they employ a maid since she couldn't take him along, she even did so herself.

The husband is a pilot and always never at home (the security the wife had I guess), now I don't know whatever went on in his tiny head, they got intimate (just once) and boom! she caught the shot expertly.. He said she's being showing symptoms since he got back from travel, so he took her for a test and its confirmed.

I guess she knew all along but did nothing on purpose, because I don't want to believe that a 22year old girl would be comfortable not flowing for 3 months (not like she's a novice).
Now, his wife is due back in September, and he's scheduled to travel again by Monday(to return only God knows when).

So technically, his wife might even return before him.

He asked for my suggestion and help, because he mentioned abortion to her and she refuted saying she nearly died after the last one she did, so the doctor warned her sternly against it.

I told him that the best I can advise/do for him is to take her in until she puts to bed. let him tell his wife she ran off with a guy or something of the sort. then we take it up from there after delivery.

The situation is one dicey and fragile one, if not handled carefully with wisdom, can ruin a lot!

I thought they existed in Nollywood only oh...

Any mature suggestion is welcome.

most married men are stupid, the moment you start cheating you need to make sure the woman you are cheating with is on contraceptives, not the pill becoz she is in control as whether she takes them or not

You go together to a family planning clinic and let have inplant or something, this way you are eliminating surprise and on the event she falls pregnant you at least you both tried

than to act mumu

InvertedHammer:
/
Community property by virtue of marriage.

The system will gut him alive if he is not prepared.

Even their assets in Nigeria or anywhere else will be factored in.

/

how

pension funds yes but but bank account you mean savings they have in investimates accounts ?

InvertedHammer:
/
Prenuptial won't work in this case.

When men run to Nigeria to marry slay queens and bring them to Western world, I usually do the most honourable thing a friend would do--send them condolence messages.

How can this man start life afresh at his age? Access to his bank accounts, retirement funds, house, etc that he worked many years for will be restricted. Throw in alimony and child support, the rest of his life is fvcked! We hear stories of Nigerian men killing their wives in US, this video is a little glimpse at what culminates to such drastic measures.
/

what stops him from accessing his bank
account or pensions funds ? the only tricky thing might be the house if they bought it together they might be asked to sale or buy out

SKIBiNSKI:
Yes, i agree, but in this case in america or even in Europe a woman cannot just throw the man/ owner of the house, if they both own the house, she can ask him to leave if she is at risk of assault physically. But not take his house or his own share of the house, alot of women has accused their husbands falsely of abuse, ruined their lives, eventually it was found they lied. So did you read the recent case of Johny Depp and Miss Heard? So courts are starting to defend men thesedays. It is not as it used to be 10, 20 years ago. Where women's right overrides the man's.

yes you are right the difference here is what people see on the video and what the family court will decide, but usually the women is left in the house especially when kids are involved and if the mother is the primary carer which is mostly 99%

So most people are commenting based on how men in nigeria kick out their wives whereas in this case yes thats what on the video but its in the west social service or family courts will get involved

Whereas in african no social service or family will get involved, it would be dealt as traditional family issue and the woman for sure will be kicked out and even with nothing

Remember the laws that were put to protect women were a result of women being abused over the years and were put to address injustice

i think also in time some laws will be put to protect men from women who abuse law to get even or punish men

Usually laws are made after much damage as been done, if you look carefully 99% its immigrants who abuse the laws to get even becoz were they came from they never had laws or community that supports eqaul justice

SKIBiNSKI:
Go read what his comments properly, you will understand his utterances.





Lookk! If the man owns the house, i mean, pays the mortgage or bought the house, the woman has no right, again, i repeat she has no right to throw him outta his own house. It doesn't work like that.

If police where called they would advice the man to leave the house, come back when they both calmed down, even if he owns the house.

The woman cannot just throw him outta his house. If so every woman will just throw their husbands outta their houses the house is not in the woman's name, how then can she carry on with the mortgage payments if she throws the owner out?

have you wondered why even in war women and children are protected?

besides other reason like children being the future

the other main reason is that women are seen as vulnerable to abuse like rape, when she thrown out in the streets, so the western world protect women and children whereas most african practice the women is not protected all

Dshocker:
That is the reason why most men don't like taking their wife aboard.

Especially if you enroll her into nursing or to study medicine, by the time she is through studying such course, then the chances of her being your wife is like 20%.

And it is her fellow colleagues that will brainwash her into believing that being single is the best and her husband has no right to question her decision.

Dear men; If you ever plan on relocating your wife aboard, make sure she signs a prenuptial agreement.

the issue is not about taking the woman
abroad

if you say the issue is about abroad basically you are saying its OK for women in nigeria to be thrown out of their marriage. of which most african raised people are OK with becoz its accepted as normal never had any issue with it

Now it became an issue when women does the same thing to men

Men have no problem with when they kick out their wives

We only saw few things and we rushed to conclude no one reports themselves its always the other person fault and always tell us what they think we should hear

what i have noticed is that these so called wives take every opportunity to empower themselves try to avoid mistakes that their mothers went through

then for men they still want to have power and control like they used to do back home and power and control gets lost becoz the wife has now have the same power and control through cash

basically if you were abusive to your wife back home, she might be abusive when she financially stable or you feel
threatened and start fights to have control and in the end she gets fedup

cococandy:
I think the story is made up but if it were true, by the wife’s account, the MIL did save her marriage. So all’s well that ends well I guess

the story is made up but it hightlights problems that are found in early months/years of marriage

It barely after 3 weeks of marrige, in 3 weeks of marriage hubby would be busy hitting wife's honey pot everyday than worrying about the food in the kitchen

Then on the other side mothers should teach their sons to be patient with their wives on things like cooking and favourite meals etc

Kobojunkie:
So, why didn't this MIL teach her son to cook, to begin with?

I think it is silly to claim the marriage was on the rocks simply because the son's wife can not cook. It is akin to declaring a marriage cannot work because the man cannot fix things around the house.

you can say that again, teaching your wife to cook the food you like is romantic and makes you bond etc

A man who cant cook his favourite meal is bad as his own wife but we can excuse the wife but someone has to teach her

Reality is mothers mostly cook favourite meal to their husbands than children (children end up calling the meal favourite as default in liking the food) than what she does to her husband can request any food he likes.

To protect your wife from negative remarks from your mother, teach her yourself. Starting a new home means also learning new cookings from wife remember the old saying "a way to men's heart is through food" so if mum still
have power over you through her
cooking then you need to start to let your wife take charge

Am not against good MIL who are supportive but most would put negative remarks on
the wife eg we paid too much bride price for a woman who cant cook etc

In general every woman can cook but 1st cooking years are based on how she was taught by her own mum, which is no near to what her husband likes becoz her husband likes what his own mother cooked for family

Food for thought

Missionaire:
Brilliant. Very Brilliant.

Man is easily ruled by fear than by courage.
Man is easily predisposed to believing negative things which strikes fear into his heart and causes him to take up an outlook that creates the reality of his fear dominated mind.

When a person is “cursed" and he believes it, he begins to act in fear of that belief and when any misfortune comes his way as it is normal for every one human, he would accredit it to the “curse" thereby giving external forces more power and control over his destiny.
The more this happens, the more the man loses his ability to think up solutions and instead gets the ability to use the “curse" as a rationale for his misfortunes.
He becomes lazy, more superstitious and loses the ability to think logically.

As a man thinks in his heart so is he and whatever a man blames for his misfortune, he has given the power to control his life.

the funny part is that mostly its the mothers who are known to be cursing, i believe if you have the power to curse your own child you are no different with the devil himself

Mothers blackmail us with this cursing thing, the moment you disagree or nolonger dance to their tune, they threaten to curse

Emotional blackmail to still have power/ control over you.

And parents dont bless you neither
in general if you are good to your parents you likely to be good to other people, and being good to other people opens up good opportunites and these are now blessings and not from parents but being good to others

The same on aka CURSE if you are not good to people who raised you (your parents) you are most likely to be worse to other people therefore no one want to hang around with and these would be doors closed of opportunties

Parents who have power to curse or actually curse are witches themselves. There rest is just pychological thinking nothing else

MITCHELL96:
You didn't tell us the type of car, you didn't tell us the model, this question is not important bro

Because many things affect the consumption of fuel in a car like accelerating too much, applying brakes too much, so how do we know how many litres of fuel will be enough when we don't know the kind of driver you are

Just carry enough money Abeg if E finish, you refill your tank, Simple!

though you mentioned 1 or 2 things that might affect fuel consumption

you failed to mention the actual things that affect besides the engine size, average speed and load eg how many passengers and weight of other loads

engine size
average speed
load

have direcr impact than breaking or
accelaratiom

MySuperPower:
Hello everyone,

Pls this is a very serious matter and I need all the advice or help possible especially if you have been in this situation.

There is a BIG RAT that entered my flat. How it entered I don't know. But I have tried everything to let it leave or to kill it to no avail.

The rat OPENS MY COOKING POT and eats from it. At first I thought I do forget and leave my pot open. Only for me to find out one night that it's the rat that opens my pot by midnight. The rat operates from midnight to about 4am daily.

I have bought and used rat poison of different types. It eats the poison and nothing happens. I buy other types of rat poison and it avoids it completely. I recently bought rat trap it pushed it aside and avoids it completely.

Please help me. The rat is really harassing us in our own flat.

How do I get rid of it? The fear of Lassa fever is real. People are saying it's spiritual rat or that it was sent or that it is there to monitor. I don't know what to make of it. I want it dead and gone.

Pls what should I do?

Pls help. This is not a joke. It is a very serious matter. Pls mod help push it to front page and the relevant section.

you are telling us that you are being out smarted by a rat ?

lots of DIY videos on youtube of how make home traps for rats

Abiflexy01:
Good day all,

Please I have a question, I was having a discussion with a friend and I would like to get more comments on this topic.

Is it right for your wife to secretly build a house or buy one for her husband as a birthday gift.

Please note that the husband already has houses, and he is made. Do you think this might cause a problem? If yes why and if no why do you feel so.

Thank you.

Shallow minds based on culture thinking whereby man buys/builds a house and he thinks he can kick the woman out when they have misunderstanding or divorcing

For those who can think is it wrong are you saying is it wrong to aquire asset ? the woman did aquire an asset and put under hubby name

Whether she did it in secret or not she added an asset to family portfolio

LilPeezy:
Money won't give u that tender love and care that's the different....If you are sick ur children will be there to show u love which will motivate u...With ur money u can only pay people to take care of u but u ain't gonna get that blood feeling.

Having kids is not a guarantee to tender love and care, there is alot that plays part eg did you, yourself show love and care whe
their were growing up ? How much do they have to look after you money and time remember by then there are also grown up trying to set-up a future for their own kids and their own retirement

Though money wont buy you tender love and care but its gauranteed that i can look after and also tender love and care doesnt have come from kids only but also friends and community

initiate:
is she yoruba? thats how they do. useless things
my advice is you need to use brain and sidestep her. find one or two wey get sense amongst them, make friends and visit them, buying them gifts, just be nice to them and make them like you. that will trhow a confusion into their plans, and your wife will be scared not to say nonsense cos she will suspect they will tell you. also this would help you to get some of them on your side, when she talks nonsense they will defend you and soon they will have internal quarrel over you.
also you can look for a mature lady in your church to counsel her. but dont count her stopping this because gossiping is like food to them

meanwhile, try and get her pregnant quickly, and dont allow her to have househelp or any family staying with you. the baby go stress her life die and will revenge all she has done to you.

by the way did you do premarital counselling? i know most counselling na wash, but if you want to hear facts contact me

its wrong to judge people with their tribe/race/ nationality etc

character is based on personality than one's tribe

how does getting pregnant solve the problem?

i disagree on finding elder church lady to talk to her, i dont why africans we always want a long communication route, )going in circles) let him directly talk to his wife without involving a 3rd party

For a 3rd party only gets involved when the 2 disagree/misunderstanding and are willing agree to bring in a 3rd party

Persephone1:
Bitter and sweet write up, sensible and at the same time not sensible.

In as much as I support a woman's financial independence saying a Man is not obligated to take over a part of her financial responsibility is very wrong. So what's the man's use? Prick service? Katikati. How will a woman know the guys is responsible? Or his financial ability? How will she know if he is not the type she has to beg with god of thunder and lightening before she gets a Kobo from? Even if she can take care of herself, what about the kids and family as a whole? Lol

Financial independence makes a woman stand out of a crowd? Which crowd? You are funny ooo you make that sound as if a woman needs a man's validation or approval to survive.
The economy situation will make any right thinking woman to strive for more sources of income and a strong financial ability. Stop making this about men.

Katikati write up!

using your theory then its ok for men to sleep with girls before marriage, to find out if she good in bed ?

financial responsiblity can be seen without spending on your woman, how you run your financials can give a clue on how financially responsie you are eg living within your means, savings, investing or how helpful you are to your own parents etc NOT
spendindg on your girlfriend (am
not against buying gifts,presents etc) i am against eg paying rent, skol fees, monthly clothes cosmetic etc)

The funny thing is that most women demand things that herself and family can not
afford eg she demand dating a man who has a car but herself doesnt even own a car even a wheelbarrow and her family doesnt even own a bicycle

When a man takeover responsibilty it can be used in
3 ways to charm, use and control

1 to charm --- no much explanation needed
2 use ----- having extra money at disposal means one can waste it on those gulliable and disposible
3 control --- he who plays the piper calls the tune aka the hand that feeds you controls how much you eat

It is the responsibility of yourself or your parents to look after you until the day you are married NOT your boyfriend

And the day you get married it is the responsibility of yourself and husband to look after each than the husband unless hubby declares that you are s fully housewife

As a father dont let any men take responsibilty of daughter before marriage, most parents take a blind eye when boyfriends takeover responsibility but knowing fully that our daughters are being used for chicken change by someone who has money to spend

emmanuelbrown26:
Op enjoy your marriage, when I tell u guys that manageable marriage ended in early 2000, una no go believe me.
See forget about seen it in another angle, either u forced yourself on her or u wanted to compete with somebody who would marry first.
All in all, if u don't stand your ground as a man, she would definitely stand for u.
Back in d days when men were men, what we hv dis day are just boys in men skin,

i think you missed his point, the guy discovered a bad character in his wive through going through her phone and finding out that wife tells her family everything. In respond her family mocks her husband and whatever situations that were reported.

Its something he just discovered and seek advise, but what is being discused is not the guy's character but the wives character of bad mouthing hubby to her parents

i dont see why your sort of bashing the hubby

Philip94:
Actually it’s the other way round. Do you even think that maybe she complains because she doesn’t want to keep it all in?

Now He is trying to isolate her from her family members so she won’t have any solace when he mistreats her. That’s abuse!!

Please refer me to any family who does not sometimes have disagreement and misunderstanding. If you term disagreement I sometimes have with my wife as abuses and mistreat, then you are not been fair to yourself. If I complain about some tinz she does that I am not comfortable with, how does that translate to mistreatment? You & I know that WOMEN get wahala and they are good at pushing all the blames to men.

another different angle of seeing things but writer didnt mention any negatives or fights from the wife, he is simply saying wife shares every bit and bob of thier marriage and he kept in dark in things that he thinks he should know

Do we agree that every home and marriage has its own secrets ?

Philip94:
Please I need sincere and mature advice �
I got married less than a year ago and I am already regretting why I got married. I stumbled on my wife whatsapp chat yesterday and I realized my wife has been downloading everything going on in our marriage to her parents and siblings. There is absolutely no privacy whatsoever in my marriage. Any time we have challenges and disagreements at home, my wife takes her phone to narrate everything to her brothers, sisters and parents. Instead of them to correct her, they all make fun of the situation and use disrespectul words for me despite the fact that my wife is JOBLESS and i'm the one making provisions at home based on my capacity. I feel betrayed and naked coz my wife family has full information about EVERYTHING GOING ON IN MY HOME. To make matter worse, she sees her family as her confidant and tell them all her moves and plans while she keep everything as secret to me. I got to know all of this from her chats to her siblings and parents. Please I am confused right now, what is the next thing for me to do? Sincere and mature advice please �

am not defending your wife but i want you see it from this angle

unfortunately you didnt mentioned your wife's age it is vital

you have been married for a year and you dont expect her to be in full marriage gear, she has
been with her family all her life, you dont expect her to master what not say to her family

As the husband be patient while you teach her how want your marriage and home should be run

Its take years for some people to wean off from sharing everything with family. Just tell her that the more she shares with family especially the negatives, the more they wouldnt respect you and value your marriage

Reverse the scenario, ask het how would she
feel if you were reporting everything about her to your parents, this should knock some sense into her

Finally tell her that sharing everything with family is not a good idea even with family you find people who are jelousy