₦airaland Forum

I am happy that there is communication in your marriage, and as you said the both of you agreed to certain terms and conditions concerning her going to the market. I do have questions for you, do you have children, if yes who takes care of them when she goes to the market in Saturday? You have made a demand as the head of the family which she is to abide by despite her initial reaction towards it. If it is possible for you to visit that market of hers without her knowing so as to find out what exactly is going on there that is really making her go back every Saturday.

The problem with most guys is that they jump into something they are not prepared for. How can a guy impregnate a girl who he hasn't paid her dowry then tell her to abort the child? Now when you feel you are ready to get married, she is now s girl with a damaged uterus or womb all thanks to you for planting the seed and encouraging the death of that seed. Now she is useless to you and contaminated; why wouldn't she curse you and make your life difficult as I am certain that the guy must have promised her marriage before agreeing to get pregnant. This is an ugly trend and should be discouraged.

Before any reaction, there is always an action; also there is no smoke without fire. Something must have lead you to begin to develop such an amorous feeling for a man that is not your husband. There must be something missing in your marital life that Mr K is giving to you and only you alone can answer that question. Whatever it is that lead you to feel such a feeling towards Mr K should be inputed into your current marriage. I do not need to ask you if you love your husband or not as I can see that from your writing you love Mr K more than your own husband which on its own us very bad and should be discouraged. Whatever you feel for Mr K might be real to you but on his own side may be just friendship and nothing else as he wouldn't want to jeopardize his home. Divorcing your husband over this is very discourageable and the boomerang effect of it my be very painful to you as I seriously doubt if he will divorce his wife just because you think you love him. I believe the best thing for you to do is if possible, have a sit down with him and open up to him concerning what you feel. I am sure that a man who is married and not willing to destroy his home will tell it to you as it is. If that doesn't work then you have to cut off all ties with Mr K for the sake of your sanity and your marriage. Hope I was helpful?

Selling your soul to the devil is not the problem. What happens when you die?

bmdmix10:
so cover ur eyes shey.


Plz d passage was straight forward, my own b say Matthew wasn't paying attention when Jesus was preaching

Not cover your eyes, the eyes used in this context is not your physical eyes, but those close to you. If you are saying it is not so, how many people have you heard of that applied that teaching?

Jesus Christ is not God but the Son of God. If you say he is God then who spoke from heaven during his baptism according to the Bible saying "this is my beloved son in whom I am well pleased. "

That passage of the Bible doesn't mean you you physically harm yourself in the name of avoiding sin. It simply means that whatever it is that is a source of temptation to you which in this case could be friends, associates and people in general, you are to avoid them as it is better to loose that association with that person(s) than to find yourself in hell because of that person(s).

The fact that you accepted to do the needful is a good step to take. It doesn't matter if your tradition permits it or not, the very day she moved into your house fully and also given birth to your son, she becomes your wife whether you like it or not. In some part of Igbo tradition, the expenses you will make now she is dead is double what you would have expanded when she was alive. You still have a long way to go as after the dowry payment, you will still bury her. Take your time and follow their every instruction.

From the chat you can see that the two of them were not truly lovers or even in s relationship. To the guy, he loves her and is willing to commit to the relationship, but the lady doesn't really care about whatever as far as it has to do with his love and their relationship. The best thing is just to cut her off completely, i.e forget anything that has to do with her including the friendship he is proposing as she doesn't want to have anything to do with him.

From what I just read, you are right on it been spiritual. Two things are involved, it is either she caused him those misfortunes or her spiritual husband who of course out of jealousy did those things to him. My own little advice for him is that he should take the issue to church, prayers and deliverance should be carried out to liberate him from the powers against him. It should also serve as a warning to him, it is not every lady you see anywhere is a human being and also it is not every lady you will have sex with. Hope he learns from it.

I wonder why it is difficult for most of us guys to read the hand writing on the wall, from what you explained the girl doesn't have any feelings for you not to talk of love. She is fully invested in her ex boyfriend and no matter what you or anyone else does, she will never leave him. You tried as much as you can to patch things up all because I believe you love her but she is not willing to be with you. How can someone you claim to love take offence with you because you told her to decide who she wants for herself, not to talk about making such statement as she made. You said you want to make your final decision on her but to me I believe you would have done that long time ago so as to forestall this type of repeated insults and assault. She even went ahead to slap you before moving out of your house, how can someone you said you want to spend the rest of your life with assault you in such a manner, supposing you get married to her, then you should expect her to be assaulting you on any slight provocation. My advice to you my brother is move on with your life as she has done that already, forget about your family knowing about her or not, I am sure that if they get to know what you are passing through with her, they will give you their full support.

I find it difficult watching videos on Porn hub as it doesn't play, the advert only that shows and after which the screen will be black, then after some time it will show video not available.

This is a complicated but simple issue. Whatever happened between them is now in the past as she is married with kids and the guy in question is engaged to be married. She should forget whatever happened between them and focus on her family. On no account should she let her husband know that the guy disvirgined her and that she did an abortion for him while in school as it will shatter her home. Whatever fun memories she is remembering should be forgotten as it will lead her to make a nasty mistake which she will regret. Their relationship is over and should not be revived, since the guy introduced her as a friend while in school, she should see him as same.

asthmacoughend:
There are different stories both good and bad ones relating to Marriage issues .

Even this Recent thread Talks about a story .

https://www.nairaland.com/6963689/wife-easily-quarrels-keeps-malice

I'm not a Pastor but I know the holy book says he who finds a Wife Finds a good thing and Obtains favour from the Lord ..Proverbs 18:22.

There cases U see of 2 Months ,6 Months Wedding Crash,Wife say she is tired Husband mention same.

There are so many Cases of Infidelity ,Paternal Fraud ,Wife Sleeping with Husband Friend ,Husband sleeping with Wife friend..Wife Sleeping with Gate Man,Husband Driver ,Cooks etc .

Husband Sleeping with Maids ,Wife Sister and all those Disgusting Stories.

Wife Stabbed Husband to Death ,Husband Killed Wife and killed Himself..
https://www.nairaland.com/5946493/photos-lekki-couple-murder-suicide

Many Women Pretending they are happy but sooo sad and fed up because they don't want home break up , Children could be the reason.

Some Men are Fed up as well ,They Patronise Prostitute anytime they need Sex because they don't Joke,Play with wife anymore..

Marriage ,Marriage ,Marriage.. Funny enough guys of nowadays are not Interested in Marriage anymore..The Baby Papa..Baby Mama Scenario is taking Over...Ladies now after one or two Children Dem go Japa ,Get an Apartment , Sleep around to take care of their Children from the Proceeds they get from Clitocurrency...Hmmm !

Your Thoughts.

Everyone has their own level of understanding in life. If you believe that it is a scam then you should not be existing at all as your parents wouldn't have met and decided to become one so as to bring you and your siblings into the world. The problem is that most people marry for the wrong reasons which in turn affects them. The post you quoted where the man complained about his wife always keeping malice with him, didn't he know the type of lady she was before marriage, it is now affecting him and he is here complaining.

You should have read the hand writing on the wall before engaging in such a relationship. I am sorry but it is your word against hers as she follows her mother's way of life which you may or may not know is wayward. What was your intention when you entered into a relationship with her? Is she the kind of girl you will like to be your life partner or is she just your sexual partner? If you intend on making her your wife, then make her see sence in what you are saying concerning her dressing and if she refuses to change then she has to make a choice between you and her way of dressing. What ever us her decision, you have to accept it with good faith.

GuyWise101:
Nna mehnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn


Can you connect me with your sister and I will marry her, I am an Ngwa guy.

And you are wrong about the bolded, Ngwa comprises of 8LGAs in Abia State and they speak the same dialect.

I am not from Abia State as I mentioned from my earlier writing, I am from Anambra State. I wrote that out of assumption, as I didn't grow up in Abia State only visit it frequently. As for my sister, she is married with 4 children.

To my own little understanding, men or guys are afraid to marry a girl(s) from the aforementioned places for reasons best known to them. Nimo in Anambra is not a bad place, likewise Akwuzu. The major reason why they are afraid of marrying a girl from Owerri in Imo State is that most of the girls there are wayward (my apologies of course for saying such). You forgot to mention Mbaise in the same Imo State. As for Abia State, there is no place called Ngwa, you only have Isi ala ngwa LGA and Okpu ala ngwa LGA. Under this local government areas you have different villages. I believe that the reason they are afraid of marrying from there is that there were tales of cannibalism in those areas. My mom is from Isi ala ngwa north LGA and I frequently visit my maternal home. I have heard of the tales, but doubt if they are still true. I am from Anambra State, Dunukofia LGA. My maternal grandmother is still very much alive and well so also are her siblings.

Spherical77:
8 out of 10 D&C are always successful provided it was carried out in a good hospital. Don't allow the few ones you see around move you in kicking against abortion outrightly

Infact, married women indulge in abortion more than single ladies if you don't know

Abortion carried out by married women or married couples is quite understandable as the pregnancy might be life threatening. In this case, the people involved are not married to each other and not even thinking of getting married. You read that the girl that is pregnant is not even the main girlfriend but a side chick. He has decided to go ahead with it and don't need anybody's opinion. I am strongly against abortion where it is an unmarried couple.

Spherical77:
A good D&C is almost certain
It's always successful. Stop making abortion look like you are signing your death warrant

Child labour is far worse than abortion incance you don't know

I have seen a situation where the girl had serious bleeding after the D&C operation and it affected her womb. It is a 2 way street.

When you were carrying out the act, you didn't consider the outcome of what you were intending to do, now it has landed you in serious problems. You attempted to murder the child at 2 months but the child refused to die, now you have decided to kill your unborn child in its 4 months of growth. Have you taken into consideration if she develops severe bleeding after the process? What will happen if she die in the process? You are really in deep shit

Go to a hospital and ask them if it is already late to take tetanus injection. You would have taken it the day you stepped on the nail, as the nail must have been there for sometime and since you said it is from a trash it must have been contaminated.

To me I believe that the reason why relationships do not last any longer is that many relationships are built of the foundation of falsehood and deceit. Secondly many people goes into relationship for the wrong reasons only, while the guys go in because she is attractive and has titties and ass, thinking of sex and having it at the back of their mind all the time, the girls go into it because the guy is handsome, has flashy cars stays in an apartment in the high areas of the country and is also rich. How will a relationship last when these two factors are always at the back of the mind of both people who want to go into it or already in it? Some guys go into it just to take a girl's virginity and once that is achieved then nothing else matters. I keep on saying it that entering into a relationship here in Nigeria is a complete waste of time as there is nothing to gain from it, rather you spend not only money but time and after all said and done it does not lead to marriage rather it breaks up.

Since you are aware that Abuja - Kaduna High way is not safe, why bother taking the risk. If you insist on going, I am not sure is there is an airport in Kaduna, you can augment the money and try going by air instead.

Iamzealousman:
I can't be certain of this

What can you not be certain of? I told you to give it a try to convince yourself that she really loves you. You wrote initially that she took it upon herself to look for a job for you when you told her your lost the one you were employed in, which girl who does not love or have feelings for a man or a guy will do a thing like that? It is really scarce to see such a lady, instead of helping you, they will rather insult you and move on to others. The ball is in your court, if I was in your shoe I would have done what I am telling you.

You asked her out initially and she refused, now she developed feelings for you and is now fond of you but you on the other hand is not willing to be with her due to your financial situation. My question to you is that did she ever complain to you concerning your not being financially buoyant? She truly likes you and is willing to be around you, why not give it a try to see if it will last or if it will not.

So what you an ably bodied man is saying is that you want to kill yourself because a girl you are in a relationship with wants to break up with you? Tomorrow when an announcement for men to come out, you will come out and say you are a man, abi? Have you taken your time to think and ask yourself what you gained in the relationship with her and also if she truly the one for you? You need to understand one thing, everything in this life that has a beginning also has an ending, also you need to know that if the two of you are meant to be together, there will be no separation.

So cooking is now a criteria in a relationship now? The fact that she is your girlfriend does not make her your wife who cooks for you and does other wifely activities. A man should know how to prepare what he wants to eat and not depend on his girlfriend to do that for him, unless she offers to do that out of love for you. Looking at the picture you attached, if it was your girlfriend that prepared it for you, I will rate her 5.5 out of 10 as it does not look appetizing.

To me, being in a relationship here in Nigeria is not really an importance in life as there is nothing to gain from it, the only thing in relationships is spending of both cash and time with the opposite sex after which when any of them is tired of the other person calls it quit and leaves the other person emotionally disturbed for a period of time before going on to someone else. Back to your question, it depends on the two people involved in the said relationship, if they both agree that in this relationship of theirs, that sex will not be part of it and if they both agree then why not. Where it is good to discuss and agree is if the girl is a virgin and is willing to keep herself till she is married then that discussion has to come up and if they do not agree then it is better not to go ahead with it.

The solution to your problem lies with you. You did not break up with her, she did all in the name of getting married to a man who she agreed to be with because he is rich, only for her to find out that he was a gold digger. Dissociate yourself from her as she is not worth your attention, and focus on your carrier which you have at hand currently, with time you will find your own better half.

Manlikechoba:
Thanks bro


She just blocked me.. . Am really devastated right now.. . . But anyways, I will try visiting her and if she still adamant


I will let her be. . .. Thanks am really not in good shape now.. . Thanks

Then go with my second advice as that is suitable to you. Take it easy my brother as it was not your fault, she does not deserve a good guy like you. Take heart my brother, all will be well. I don't think it is advisable to go visiting her any longer as she has moved on and going to see her will only remind you of the pain you are currently passing through. As said before, please take it easy, you deserve better.

I can't believe that a beautiful lady like you will be writing such a thing. Firstly you have a boyfriend who I will say you love and loves you in return, now another man who you must have know before that has been chiking you went as far to spend above a million Naira just to be in a relationship with you and you are here to ask such a question? Did you not know that you have a boyfriend before deciding to collect the gifts knowing fully well that he bought them simply to cajole you into accepting him and abandoning your boyfriend? Do you know his intentions for you are? Can you beat your hand on your hand and say that if you give him this opportunity that things will go smoothly for you? Bear in mind that if you decide to give him a chance you are doing so only because he spent such a huge amount on you and not for love sake. You are going there to spend his money and nothing else. I will not be the person to tell you to accept him or reject him, just bear in mind that what goes around comes around.