₦airaland Forum

I believe the best thing for you to do is kill yourself. How can you come here and complain like this, it shows a level of immaturity even as an adult. How can you expect a girl who is a platonic friends to you to stoop so low as to having sex with you. As a man can't you control your libido or urges? If they give into your desire, what type of friendship is that? It doesn't matter if you let them pass the night at your house or a hotel room with you, it doesn't change anything. How will you feel if you find out that the friend of your girlfriend is demanding for sex from her and she eventually gives in to his demand? In this day and time even in time immemorial there are set boundaries to platonic friendships and when crossed leads to problems and confusion. Please next time before you post any issue or problems here ask yourself if the issues or problems I want to share to the world on this platform will bring positive or negative responses or feedback to you. I don't mean to insult you in any way just that I didn't expect such a write up from an adult like yourself which makes me angry.

Deathisfree:
Thanks so much. I’m just so worried ,I have really endured all her illness because of the love and respect I have for my dad.
All she has been intending to see is my downfall but guess what God keep raising me

Always have at the back of your mind that God is always with you in every of your daily endeavors, do not hesitate to go to him for help when in need.

All I have to say is Safety first. You did not do wrong by moving out of a house where you are not wanted. Like the previous person said, you and your wife need to be very careful and prayerful, as such a woman is ready to go to any extent to see your downfall. While at the hotel, please try as much as you can to get yourself an apartment so that you will feel relaxed and not spend much money paying hotel bills.

People that always write that particular phrase may have forgotten that they have sisters, girlfriends, even wifes and they are all females, some are presently girls while some were girls but due to marriage have upgraded to women. It's always advisable to be very careful with our words.

As many people have already told you, this has to do with marine forces. They are trying to lure you in with what their best weapon is which is a girl. You have to be very careful and very prayerful. God will help you conquer them.

Your issue is as clear as day, I believe that the best thing to do is let her go as you are not yet ready to marry her. She is a good girl for wanting to know your opinion. I was in your shoes once though not the same, but I told her to go as I do not want to be a barrier to her happiness and future. She listened to me and went ahead, now she is married.

Congratulations on your safe delivery.

It is a mess in our society today mostly among our celebrities, most of them marry with the hopes that the evil sign they saw will be a thing of the past when they are married. Some even get married for the wrong reasons and once that reason for which they decided to get married is achieved or not achieved, they cheat on their spouses with other people which in turn breaks their home. Some after spending millions of naira just to make their wedding a societal type of wedding they end up getting divorced in less than 5 years, sighting irreconcilable difference. Some rush into marriage out of love for the other person and when that love is no more or turns to hate they regret their action, some even endure their marriage rather that enjoy it. It is a very big problem in our society today in this our present generation.

Blabbermouth:
Let us deal with facts here and not mere opinions or fantasies - Show me 3 bible Characters God specifically picked a wife for.
Let's start with Adam. God made Eve, but nowhere did he (God) mandate it to Adam and said - Take Eve, She must be your wife. 'Twas Adam himself who picked Eve by confirming her to be bone of his bone and flesh of his flesh. If Adam had said He doesn't want Eve, so would it be!
Cain picked a wife of HIS choice.
Abraham picked a wife of HIS choice.
Isaac was given one, but she was HIS choice.
Jacob chose a wife of HIS choice. (He got double in the process though).
Moses picked a wife of His Choice.
Samson chose a wife of HIS choice (even if she was instrumental in his destruction, God respected Samson's choice)
David Chose whom he Wanted.
Solomon married whoever he wanted.
Need I say more?
God can definitely give you a range, something like - Hey, don't marry anyone not born again.
But, He won't say - Take this one, she's you destiny partner. If you don't marry her, you won't ever marry anyone.

So, am I proposing that choosing a spouse doesn't require God at all? God forbid!
Learn from David, the best person that can be your counsellor is God himself.
When you see someone you love (the first step) and she loves you in return, ask the LORD - Shall I go further?
If he says NO, then trust Him, He has his reasons.
But you know what is certain? There are 10,000+ girls out there God will tell you "My son, carry on" if you happen to meet them.
When you know this, you then realize that there is no destined soulmate. A man MAKES HIS OWN soulmate and God stamps his seal on their union.

I can show you many marriages the spouse will tell you - God confirmed them. But guess what? Those marriages are nothing to write home about.
Even Atheists marry happily. Muslims marry happily.
If your marriage is a mistake, it's your fault, not God's nor anyone else's fault.

I understand your points but must point out the following:
1) For Adam, the Bible recorded that God saw that Adam had no companion or helper which made Him create Eve from his missing rib as a helper or companion for Adam.
2) Solomon made his choice of marriage and where did it lead him, after marrying all those women it led him to worship other gods apart from GOD.
3) Samson was also warned not to marry outside his tribe but due to beauty and love, it cost him his life.
God specifically warned the Israelites in the bible against marrying outside their nation.
Following the topic of discussion you will read that he prayed and fasted for God to show him his wife and the lady God showed him was not the lady he loves. Since he put his trust in God and asks for His direction, which he got response then why is he going against what God showed him in the dream?

Blabbermouth:
God will not compel you to marry someone you don't love.

I have this belief which is that everyone has destined person to spend the rest of their life with. God can guide you to the right and destined partner who He created for you from your missing rib and you decide to not be with that person in the name of not been in love with that person, for sure you will have yourself to blame. God cannot force you to do anything, He will only tell you what to do, It is now left to you to either accept to do it or leave it. The issue of marriage is not a child's play and if you make mistake in it, you will regret for the rest of your life.

Morningblues:
Wow how do move on and forget about him, the sweet memory we had keep coming back and it’s actually hurting me so bad. Been calling and texting all to no avail. It hurt the last time I had this kinda feeling was last 2yrs I’m 25yrs old. I try to move on but it pretty very hard I will admit .

I understand you perfectly, but as I said earlier the love you had for him was not reciprocated. You cannot continue to dwell on this. Even if he decides to answer you, he is doing it out of pity and not love. I can't force you to do what you don't want to do, the ball is in your court, decide for yourself what you want for yourself.

To my little understanding on the matter, if indeed there is true love in any relationship, there will not be cheating for any reason. Looking at today's relationships, many people get involved in it for the wrong reasons. When that reason or reasons have been achieved then it's on to the next person available. Some will say that because it is a relationship and not marriage then they are free to cheat, forgetting that you will reap what ever you sow. There is a slang that says "once a cheat, always a cheat ".I believe that if you cheat in your relationship and you are not caught, there is every tendency that you will cheat when you get married. To wrap up my point if you truly love someone sincerely with all your heart, you will not cheat on that person.

Blabbermouth:
If you are talking about YHWH, the God of Isreal, then the answer is NO.

How do you mean?

You need to take things easy with yourself my dear, I have taken time to go through what you wrote and digested every detail. I like the fact that you stood your ground on not allowing him peruse through your privacy. I know for a fact that he will never agree to let you do same. I want you to know that the love you had for him was not reciprocated. You really loved him which he saw and took advantage of it. I am a guy and can't say such a thing to the girl I love. As I said earlier, take things easy with yourself, I know for sure that you will get over this and you will meet a good guy who will love you in return.

From what I just read, I can easily summarize that you saw a lady in need, had some discussions with her and started dating her. You loved her with all your heart but on the other hand, I doubt if she loved you at all. To her you are only a helper in the time of need. Try as much as you can to take things easy with yourself and move on with your life without her as she has moved on. One thing is certain and you have to learn from it, it is not every lady you see out there in need that you will invest in. Disregard all insults rendered on you and focus on the lessons learnt from this relationship with her.

Murphydrres:
thanks bro for your advice
Wanted to post same
But my mum isn't as harsh as he's but she's troublesome

You are most welcome. You said your mum is troublesome, can you elaborate on that and how it affects the family so that I can advice on what to do

My brother I have gone through what you wrote and I must confess it is really touching. My advice for you is that since she has abandoned all her wifely duties and motherly duties due to the reason stated, try as much as you can to take care of your younger ones and especially your father. My ernest wish and prayer is that your father does not die from this situation due to hypertension. Talk to him, take very good care of him, console him also, I know he is going through much stress from thinking, please also appeal to him not to give up and wish for his early death because of what he is passing through from your mom. He should console himself knowing he has children who are capable of taking good care of him. As for your mom since she wants to be isolated from the rest of the family, please grant her wish, discuss with your younger ones to dissociate themselves from her, treating her as she is not part of the family. When she sees that you all are taking adequate care of yourselves and your dad I know she will have a rethink. If she doesn't then it is left to her to live her life as she has decided for herself. Less I forget, don't distance yourselves from your uncles and aunties from both sides of the family, go to them for support and advice.

PrinceofAgoAre:
With an el(r)ect long pleek..

what brand u smoking bruv

I don't smoke and have never smoked.

This looks like a picture taken from a morgue, the body looks dead.

What seems to be the problem, you need to elaborate so as to get solution or advice.

From what I just read, I deduced the following, firstly as you said both of you are financially stable, secondly he doesn't assist you financially in return (though you said it was a test). I believe he loves or loved you sincerely but may be acting up based on advices from his friends. They may have told him that since you work and make your own money, which looking at it critically maybe more than his own money, you will not make a good wife and you will not be submissive. I believe what is best for you now is give it one final push (calling and texting him) and if it ends up the same way, know that he has decided to end the relationship.

Well I believe it is a matter of selfishness, foolishness and stupidity. How can a handsome man who has a beautiful wife he married and paid her bride price be looking outside or having extra-martial affair, or even stoop so low as having s*x with his maid. How can a beautiful, attractive, well behaved and well mannered woman in her right senses be having extra-marital affair or even stooping so low as having s*x with her husband's boy, or driver or even gateman. It is stupidity in the highest level and can lead to death or divorce.

ochechannel:
advice PLS
I had admission 2013 to Study Economics I was supposed to pay 65,000. For reg and the rest but only gather 30,000 (I was 15 years old then now 24 ) I went to my uncle in kaduna for help which he chases me out that he don’t have money but I was there when he gave out 700,000 for his friend motor engine to be change. That was what encourage me to start business with 30,000 I gather.
I bought one with the money started meet people from house to house ask them if they what to learn computer that’s how I met isa my friend but he told me that he can’t do my kind of business that he dad pays their bill and I responded that me I don’t have dad and I have three younger once to pay their school fees and my mum also. I operate street business till July 2015.
I opened cyber café 2015 I employed isa my friend as computer operator and Student teacher few month he mum call me asked me to help his son that all he know is to go to club and carry woman spend time in hotel with friends but since he started working with me those things reduce.
He is Muslim he started follow me to church and other Christian life. 2006 he had admission to Nasarwa State University 2018 he drop out. He came back to Abuja stay off from family house and started living with me, Every weekend he do go to Keffi because of Woman. August 2018 he came from Keffi with his friend Chuka who also drop out of school, week 1 2 3 court groups started enter my shop but never knew that there are coming to Visit their member Chuka in my shop. 2 October 2018 my shop was attacked by court groups takes away 2 laptop, 4 computer, Gen and staff salaries I keep in shop for isa to give the staff because am going to see my mum who I brought to Abuja for treatment. When there call me that my shop was attacked I asked them to send me the list of what was taking away which isa and chuka did. Before 4 pm I order for 2 laptop and New Gen on jumia which they brought them before I came home. I acted as if nothing happened life goes on. 3 weeks lata one court group member met me on my way to church That he come to apologize for the last accident that happened to my shop that he was he was part of the group that attacked my business, that they did that because chuka, that chuka don’t want to cooperate that’s why, few days ago they heard that chuka wasn’t my friend but isa friend that on behalf of the groups their sorry.
that I must let chuka out of my house this week because another groups are planning attack, after church service I came home give 15k for his transport to east.
2019 I gave isa 70k for him to help me reg my younger sister WAEC and NECO two weeks to the Exam my sister went to center her name was not register.
I have look for over 5 job for isa but refused to work, I also pay for over 3 training but refused to attend. am tired of this guy nairaland pls help with ur advise pls.
2020 he brought another guy by the name Benjamin all they talk about everyday is my client, my client with whit woman and white man. My first day with ben I asked him who is he, he said he is Isa friend that his Brother landlord chase them out and I warned him not to bring trouble for me pls but feeding I will try my best till I relocate to another area of kubwa and ben went back to stay with his brother.

2020 December he brought this girl by the name Jennifer she presently in house with him according to her she is doing all this because her don't have their time.
I called my friend isa that am travelling Home because I haven’t enter home for over seven years now.
i spent 4 days in the Villa I came back to Abuja on 28 December 2020. I came home I met a 17 years old girl in my room with her bag.
I asked: who are you and what are you doing here.
she answer: that she come with my friend Isa that he went to his family house
Isa live in Kuje Abuja while I live in Kubwa. I went to Bathroom I over heard her saying This Guy is Too innocent for me that if she would have meet this kind of person from beginning she won’t be doing all this.
I came out from bathroom and asked her what she was saying, she repeated. Also said She bad well well ooo that there’s no hot drinks that she have not tested maybe it just come out.
that she can see why her friend said I don’t have girl friend, that am very cool, that I don’t like trouble, that I have two printing press shop but act as if I don’t have one naira.
That he know how I start my business with 30,000 now grow to over 4 millions, that I love reading business book, that she also confirm it immediately she enter my room. I started asked her some question: I discover that she stopped school at SS2 that she don’t want to go back to school again, that she want to make money before return back to her parents i asked her what she want money for she said for flexing.
I asked her what’s her plan about her school? She said all her plan is to make money. I also asked her: what if I register NECO and WAEC here in Kubwa would you go and write the Exam?. She didn’t answer!

I called my friend that night before sleeping and asked him who is the girl? He said she just a friend but not dating that the met in Hotel Around AYA side, that she said she looking for where to stay for a main time that’s why he brought the girl that he is sorry. I also asked the girl she said just a friend not dating.

I went to bed with her.
Around 11 to 12 started touching me that she want sex which I try refused she said she will call on my neighbor that I want to rape her if I don’t sex her, that night we had sex on 28 December 2020.
Am confuse now because isa took her to his side introduce her to Gboys friend more club and the rest. Yesterday around 6 in the evening I met them having sex in my room. I over heard her saying who will get pregnant for someone like me an abort the pregnancy that I think straight.
Am afraid because this girl may bring wrong pregnancy for me and i want to dissociate myself from Isa, please I need your advise the best way to address. please.
Please in case u find out, am sorry i wrote this out anger.
am still in my office am planning to chase them out when i close from shop today i don't want to offend anyone deeply that's why i come here for advice.. thanks

My brother this your story is very long and explanatory. That your so called friend Isa is a bad friend and a bad influence to you. Do all you can to send him and all the people he brought packing out of your house and your business place. Do not allow them spend another night at your place. They had a place they were staying before you met them so they should return to that place. You said you want to register the girl for WAEC or NECO but she said nothing. Don't bother doing that also.

Kestolove:
I fine pass dix one

For your mind abi?

She needs to take things easy with herself. What has happened has happened and there is nothing that can be done about it. She should tell her colleagues to stop giving out your number without her consent. I don't want to start throwing blames at anybody, so she has to try as much as she can to calm her nerves and take things easy with herself.

To me sincerely, I don't see anything wrong in the question you ask ladies. It is better you know where you stand than to end up regretting your decisions. Continue till you meet the right one.

Ngwa continue I am following

This is an old story. It happened last week Friday.

tyup:
You have a right to ur opinion but the fact that as a guy man you're suggesting his family be arrested for attempted murder is rather pitiable and ur rather a disgrace to the Male race. if you stay in the North I'd petition Hisbah having you castrated just immediately

How can I be a disgrace to the male race when one of us (males) connived with his family to kill his baby mama. Everyone is entitled to their own opinions but looking at the story, why did the man in question refuse the lady's brother from coming inside? Why did he run away with his sister after carrying out their failed plan? You have this mentality of seeing women as slaves and men as their masters. You said if I stay in the North you will petition Hisbah to castrate me immediately, but looking at your comment it is you who should not only be castrated but disgraced for supporting murder.

The plan of the man was to kill her, this must have been agreed amongst his family. For the father of the man and the sister also to be there, they have concluded that she must die. Since the father has been arrested, it means that the man and his sister ran away. My advice for her is after receiving treatment, she should press charges against both the man and his family for attempted murder.

That's me

FarahAideed:
After looting over 100 million naira from Endsars you want to be free ? God Punish U !!!! You are more corrupt than the leaders you criticise ... You couldn't even wait for Those killed in Endsars riots to be buried and within a week you took your loot and went to Seychelles to chill... You are a thief

This your statement is defamatory, can you prove she looted over 100 million naira, where did the money come from? Did you contribute a dime to the protest, make research before saying what you are not sure of. What happens if you gets this your defamatory statement and sue you for every penny you have for failing to substantiate or prove your claims. Be Wise.