₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Only if the feeling were mutual would this be the goal.

None of them mentioned divorce according to the OP

Blackmiserable:
Men do not need to love you to have sex with you.


It sounds degenerative and depraved, but sadly, it's true. Love, respect and sex are different things to, not just men but people. A man may love, adore and respect is wife, fulfill marital obligations to a T and yet have mistress outside. deal with that act - women are object of desire to men and some men want several objects. Is it greed? Maybe!

Do prostitutes need love to have sex with clients? Sorry, they don't.

I don't dispute that a man can have sex without love. I also do not dispute that a man can fulfill his martial obligations to his wife & family and have mistresses outside.

My point is that a man CANNOT love, adore and respect his wife and still cheat on her.

So your question might now be 'how many men really love, adore and respect their wives'?

Christmasdon:
keep your opinions coming.

You have not answered any question directed at you.

Some couples see their matrimonial bed/room as sacred and nobody would be allowed to enter.

Some others are fine with people entering as far as they knock or they lead them there.

It depends which is which for the couple.

Blackmiserable:
Love and respect are two different things.

So a polygamous man never loved his wife else he wouldn't marry someone else?

A man can love and respect his wife and still cheat on her ma.

As per audio love and respect.

crackhaus:
Well one of them took the case to a customary court right?

Right

Going back and forth might have helped them both put their issues in perspective and seek resolution instead.

ubunja:
while treating a woman like a doormat is what endears her to you....

A woman with self esteem will appreciate and reward a gentleman. But since the staggering majority of women have little to zero self esteem, a respectful gentleman will always lose out to a thug. Fact.

And he did it again.

A woman who does not have an healthy self esteem or place a high value on herself CANNOT respect a man who places high value on her aka respect.

Imagine you have a rag you use to clean the ground and a visitor picks up same rag, irons it, folds it and place it in a cupboard.

Wouldn't you think that the visitor is insane or doesn't know that the rag is a rag?

What would do you do? 'Ha! Ogbeni, it is just a rag. Why are you treating it like this? Throw it on the floor jare.'

A respectful gentleman would not lose out if he seeks a girl with an healthy self esteem.

FloraEC:
I really don't blame the woman, is like meeting the lady that's always sending nudes to her hubby. Shit can make someone lose her sense of reasoning.
Only she knows the challenges she's facing in that marriage. Judging from the woman's dressing, I believe the husband is not a young man

My point is beating/harassing her does not solve anything.

Imangine the husband has five side chics.

Will she beat them all up when she jams them in the market, mall, church, mosque or children's school?

The connection to those women is her husband.

If he were to be faithful or decide to be faithful, she would have no business with them.

I believe in treating the disease and not the symptoms.

MiddleDimension:
and people brought out their phones to record. do these kind of ladies exist today? if there is an issue like this, the person you have issues with is your husband, not the other lady！what if she is mistaken? what if she just listened to idle gossips? what if the man never told her he is married, that is even if the story is true. what if the lady got offended and beat her up mercilessly?

these kind of issues are handled in a better way. take the issue up with your husband. if that doesn't work, take it up to your both families and tell them to put themselves in your shoes. not everyone is unreasonable. she will surely find someone who will reason with her and take her side. if that doesn't work, she can consider other options.

cococandy bukatyne how do you see this?

I am already expressed my opinion on the thread.

At no point would I support the foolishness of physically engaging your husband's mistress if she did not attack first.

SangoOlukosoOba:
Civil

Odiegwu.

Keep helping cheated wives deconstruct their husbands' mistresses.

One day, water will pass garri.

Blackmiserable:
MrBrownJay, in a marriage, what should be most important to a woman: a man's fidelity or his love? By fidelity, I mean faithfulness (as in, not cheating with other women) but some lax, indifferent attitude that shows a lack of love or a man who loves, respects and fulfills his financial obligations to the last letter, but has a mistress who practices safe sex with him?

I was following this convo thinking you were serious.

How can a man love and respect his wife and still cheat on her?

What is love and respect to you?

dayo229:
Opeyemi Bakare, on Wednesday, told a Customary Court in Mapo, Ibadan that her husband of 13 years, Olawale, pushed her into committing adultery with his behaviour.

Opeyemi, a fashion designer who resides in Olunde area in Ibadan, says Olawale beats her and nags too much.

“I confess that I flirt with different men. At first, whenever men ask for my number, I give them my husband’s mobile phone number so that they will not approach me again.

“However, when Olawale’s attitude became aggressive, I had to look for another man who could take good care of me and who would not expose me to hunger and thirst.

“When he got to know that I was dating another man, Olawale poured petrol on me with the intention to burn me alive but he couldn’t lay his hands on matches at that time, maybe I would have been dead by now.

“Besides, he doesn’t respect my mother,” Opeyemi alleged.

On his part, Olawale, who objected to the divorce, denied all the allegations saying, “She also nags and insults me, using unprintable names. I also informed her parents about her waywardness.

“I make sure that I provide for her and my three children. For the sake of the children, please don’t separate us."

However, Chief Ademola Odunade, the President of the court, dissolved the marriage citing threat to life as the reason.

Opeyemi was awarded custody of the three children and Olawale was ordered to pay N15,000 as monthly feeding allowance for the children in addition to being responsible for their education and other welfare. (NAN)

Source:
https://www.denland.site/2020/01/my-husband-pushed-me-into-adultery-wife.html

What right does the court have to dissolve the marriage when both parties still want it or have not indicated interest in dissolving the union?

Nowhere the wife indicated she wanted a divorce. She only said her husband pushed her to adultery with his aggressive behavior and disrespect of her mother.

The husband said he was still willing to stay married for his kids.

Lawyers please help me here.

SangoOlukosoOba:
This women have money. They don't contract learner's. Have you seen any in the news and yet young ladies still disappear.

Even in eventuality, the husband will still come rescue he to save the family name and avoid the press.

Whatever rocks their boats.

You seem to have a lot of experience in this matters.

Are you a contractor?

cococandy:
Even if she’s in a religion that permits it, she’s still a victim. Some of them get these decision made for them before they are even able to make these life changing decisions for themselves. Like choice of religion and life partner. The men in their lives (fathers) make the decisions for them. Being choices less in the matter is equal to victimhood.

Pedophilic and forced marriages especially as obtained in the North is a different kettle of fish. All the women are obviously victims.

I am referring to women who willingly walked into polygamy.

The victim in such scenario is the first wife (if she is not a Muslim). Marriages contracted under Islam already have the provision for polygamy so a wife not interested in polygamy can have a contract stating so or not marry under the Islamic law.

FloraEC:
I just read on IG that the side chic is married too, always calling the man at odd hour and sending nudes too even threatening him.
That the woman ran into the lady and not that she followed her

Did the lady step on her lane?

This is not condoning adultery: this is knowing the source of your problems and addressing it.

SangoOlukosoOba:
The one she can get info about. They have money to pay Intel's

Even some of the husband's friends are Intel's

More power to her.

Then the law catches up with her and while she is cooling off doing life imprisonment, the randy husband married one of the hidden side chics and lives happily ever after

Or not.

When would wives learn to stop going after side chics and face their husbands?

If the side chic doesn't come to confront you in your space, why not face the man who caused the mess.

After fighting this one at Ikeja Mall, hope she is ready to go to the Palms to fight another one tomorrow.

SangoOlukosoOba:
You don't know anything till you meet legal wife with craze.

They pay as much as 5 million to decommission a side chick.

I hope the wife intends to kill all the side chics.

fineboynl:
Father stands

1, the father loves all the wife's
2, the father loves all the children
3, the father wish love among the wife's
4, the father wish love among the children
5, the father wish unity among the children.


Mothers stands

1, the mothers love the father
2, the mothers love only their children
3, the mothers don't wish love among the wife's
4, the mothers don't wish love among the children
5, the mothers don't wish unity among the children.

The reflexes of this all is that the children grows up with disunity and hate among themselves even while living in the same house and cook from the same pot.
...

From the narrative above we can see that women cannot love or take good proper care of a child that is not theirs, But a man can. If children from the same mother can grow up with love among the same I see no reason will they cannot love the same from different mother if their growing up was same.

....
I grow up in a family which one of my brother was not my biological brother but I never knew. The love was like as if it was my immediate blood brother. It was when we grow up and he traveled to stay with his mother that I get to find out because he lost his father while he was a baby. And even if I knew he was not my Biological brother before hand but the well we grow up with unity in the same house wouldn't have made any much difference.
....

From the above context we can see that women are the primary evil and difficult to live among other children.

In a polygamous scenario, the only victim is the first wife (if she is not in a religion that supports/encourages multiple wives).

As to the stereotype of the women causing problems, it is a no-brainer.

The husband 'loves' all the children and all the wives because he married them and the kids are all his.

A comparable scenario would be who causes the problems in a polyandry.

Amanee:
I'm not a doctor but I think that for a doctor to get the full picture of what ails the patient, a battery of tests should be done.

Not doing this is tantamount to working blind.

But most Nigerians are used to self medication because I don't know why you'll go to a hospital and tell a doctor to give you drugs for an illness you may or may not have.

Pregnancy test should even be done because some of these drugs are not good for pregnant women.

@bold:

Very true.

yazga:
No. It's unprofessional. They are to suggest that to the couple and if they agree, then they can go ahead. No investigation should be carried out by any medical personnel without the consent of the client else he will be liable for violation of privacy

Really?

It is the duty of the doctor to carry out a diagnosis on the patient which is not limited to full blood work.

If a patient knows the problem, he/she should not bother going to the hospital.

truthsayer009:
Here is the original post: https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=10163398499925144&set=pcb.10163398500560144&type=3&theater

Thanks a lot.

In another news, you like amebo sha.

crackhaus:
The OP and the Facebook person are not the same, those of us who had seen the stuff before only just recognized it.

You will surprised at what your sisters will do to make some extra bucks, married or single.
The Facebook experiment did not teach me anything I did not already know.

How sad.

AND STUPID!

CHoccolaTE:
I don't believe any married woman messaged Op abeg let's try and use common sense sometimes even though bashing women is the reigning thing.
If he received any DMs it's most definitely from scammers trying to finesse him because he made a post posing as a rich person.
This same Op started a thread for giving money to single mothers and different fake alt accounts belonging to males came in to start fabricating tales about their single motherhood because they wanted the money.

Apparently, it is on FB. I think the OP just copies the proposals and/or he is the Francis guy.

A winner has even been picked, a pastor's wife. She has deactivated her husband's and her Facebook profile.

Search Francis Van-Lare

ahnie:
Hey sweetie...would you pls be kind enough to send the link ..lemme read too

Morning dear

This is it

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10163413966620144&id=645765143

Naijaboy1122:
Hello Nairalander Please I know this is not the right section to post this,I decided to post it on Family section and I believe it will Gain more Audience or Views. My Forthcoming Exam is coming up Buy March which is Jamb. I'm An Art student and the course I'm Going for is international studies and Diplomacy The Following subject are (ENGLISH which is very compulsory, CRS, GOVERNMENT And Literature) when Ever I read this subject I find it difficult to comprehend what am reading.i can spend like 5 minutes on one page trying to get the Definition but still can't enter my head, please Anyway Out??

What subject do you have difficulty comprehending?

Skepticus:
"Responsible" guys do but how many of you would give them a chance?

Those sleek-talking assholes and straight-out jerks/thugs who are exciting with good bed game are the ones that you are likely to spread your legs for.

It's no fault of yours, though. The men who turned most of you into single mothers, either as single or married exhibit alpha tendencies which women naturally desire. The nice but "boring" good guys who are respectful to women often lose out in the end. Nature has programmed it into women to screen out men whose genes are considered "weak". The big problem is that most of these jerks you spread your legs for are also attractive to other women like you, so he has options which makes his chances of staying with you alone, difficult.

My only problem is the victimhood that you are all claiming. No one is to be blamed. Live with the consequences of your terrible decisions.

@bold:

Are you saying that nature designed women to fall for irresponsible guys?

Really?

Then how did nature intend the family unit to continue?

My amebo took me to Facebook, didn't see the original post however saw where he chose the Pastor's Wife and claims he is taking the husband along.

What a show of shame.

crackhaus:
It's on Facebook

Then how did people connect the OP to the Facebook person?

What kind of slow woman goes to a random person's inbox with her nudes or application to cheat?

You don't know the person, have no control over your info once sent to him, no leverage, nothing to hold against him etc.?

GodwinBlessed:
Please I need a very serious advice. I am about resigning from my work place. Here is why.
For years now I have been jobless and at home. Last year I relocated to Lagos in search for job. Few months later, I got a teaching job with one of the biggest private schools in the city and the pay is good.
I was assigned to teach primary four. I have been doing my job very fine. But here is my problem.
There is a young girl in my class who is ten years and looks really matured. She is ayebo type. She is very beautiful and I always lust over her.
Whenever she licks her lollipop during break time, I fantasize her sucking my dick. I am always tempted to have sex with this girl but I will consider the consequences and hold myself.
I used to talk dirty with her and she told me she has a boyfriend but she has not had sex before.
Last term her mom called me to keep home lesson for the child but since I know what it might lead to I gave her an excuse and rejected the offer.
I am very close to this girl to the point that other children in the class say I like her more than them.
Since the resumption of this term, I have not gone to school. My employer has been calling me. I lied to him that I am ill and will resume next week.
I am thinking of resigning if that will keep me away from the girl.
please I need advice.

mods help me push it to front page thank you.
Lalasticlala
Mynd44

You are lusting after a 10yr old girl imagining she's sucking your dick? Talking dirty to her? Discussing sex and boyfriends?

Well, you have identified the problem, biko resign tomorrow and look for another school.

You also need to renew your mind.

How old are you by the way?

blesskewe:
hey
happy first Sunday,ok I'll get straight to the point, I my house is a home of boys and as a girl I respect them sometimes based on the fact that peace should reign
am not trying to paint him black or something but he has this attitude of been good outside and bad inside
but today own touch me, Chai e touch me
my dad was talking to him on a normal level and before I knew it, he shouted at my dad
the nerve, come see slap were I take reset the face first.
why would you shout at my parents, what ur seniors didn't do, u wanna do it

I wanna just know how do u handle ur juniors
especially the sturbbon juniors?

How old is he?

What stage of life is he in?

How was he trained?

What are your parents doing about it?

Is there another response thread?

Who is the Francis everybody is mentioning and what is the talk about social experiment and unsatisfied spouses?

Prudent200:
Hello Nairalander I don't know if this is normal or I think I'm the Only person Doing it. I always Talk To myself when I'm alone ,even when walking on The Road. Sometimes people find it strange,I'm trying to stop it but to no Avail. Please help me out oooh . Or is Anybody in my shoes??
.
Seun
Lalasticlala
Mynd44

You are not alone.

However, except you want to boost yourself, I don't see why you should talk OUT LOUD.

Learn to talk inside your mind and talk to people more.