₦airaland Forum

Chuks9000:
Are you asking the guy to assault the lady?
Some issues need to be given time to enable both parties reflect (which does not amount to sweeping under the carpet).
The culprit has reflected on her action and is seeking for ways remedy/address the situation.
Getting pissed of is not a virtue of any faith...

A day when did communication translate to assault?

Husband drinks garri the first night and addresses the issue next day

There is obviously conflict of expectation which should be straightened out.

Getting pissed aka angry is not a sin. It is what I do with it that matters.

My issue is with the husband by the way.

I commented and moved on.

Gratefulheart01:
If i talk now, some people will tag me hater.

Most of these girls are useless bitches; know that hoes ain't loyal; spend less on them; see them as temporal disposable objects; use and dump.

And when you wan marry, try your hardest best to patiently look for the good girls. Let all these mumu boys who always say they don't care about virgins go and marry the useless girls and later come back to say he wan drink poison after him eye don see pepper.

Once again, never forget the golden rule. Bitches for fck, good girls for wife.
The wise marry the good girls while mumu boys marry the fairly used useless bitches!

A word is enough for the wise. PEACE!

And the good girl wants to marry a dog like you?

Just curious.

Happy Married Life Mr. & Mrs. Crayfish

catwalq:
You feel that way because you didnt really give yourself time to heal and now, its like a rebound that's beginning to stick..

Ask yourself if you'll feel bad if you both aren't together. Let your answer fuel your decision. Don't be bothered àbout hurting her if you leave her,she'll still hurt if you stay with her not because you love her but because you are scared of hurting her. Don't keep her out of pity or fear.,it never ends well.

If you're having doubts,then you shouldn't be doing it. You deserve to be happy too.

@businessman7

This.

crackhaus:
Poverty my brother, poverty.

I wish.

Ilekokonit:
Why would a woman KNOWINGLY waste a guys money knowing fully well she has no intention of dating him ?

It seems that the spirit of cheating / ripping off people / reaping where they did not sow resides in most women.

Why would a guy sleep with a girl when he knows he is not dating/marrying her?

People have the responsibility of guarding their treasures.

Before you release the goods: your money, body, sperm, time, skills etc make sure the other person is worth it.

It is also a sign of low self esteem to throw your treasures at someone who is not showing signs of deserving it.

Abbeylincson:
There is this girl I met just of recent, she has an awesome personality I like her and when I told her what I feel about her, she reciprocated positively.
But now she is telling me that we can date but there will no single iota of romance (kiss, cuddling, and the rest.)
I'm finding it boring because I know I'm a very romantic person and I'm emotionally fragile.
Romancelander can this type of relationship work out?

You like her personality: good.

Did she give any reason why she wanted a relationship devoid of physical expression?

How old are you both? Are you looking for a relationship leading to marriage or you just need a girlfriend because everybody has a girlfriend?

Like someone here said romance is not only touch. You can do stuff together, cook together, watch a movie together, visit places together, learn a new hobby etc.

However, the danger is that often times, these activities make you more likely to touch each other which she is running away from.

Also be very very sure that she is not collecting elsewhere while putting up a front of piety because she sees you as a potential husband.

If after all the above, you can't work it out, politely tell her so and move on.

It would be good to try though so you work on self control.

You might have to be separate with your wife due to job or other factors in future.

Akinowon123:
Hmm

This is a year later, how did it go?

I will fault the girl.

You normally do not enter into a lasting relationship by chatting and smooching the first day you meet.

She knew what she wanted, however did not know how to get there.

For starters, she should have let you sleep in the room. When she did and was sensible enough to sleep on the floor, she should have left it at that.

She should also not initiate the discussion of marriage or long term relationship just like that. She was setting herself up to be used and rubbished. Men would just say yes, yes to get to the cookie jar and disappear.

She also sounds like someone who thinks she is not good enough.

Why am I not blaming you?

The devil comes to steal, kill and destroy.

You are there to steal her time, body and emotions, make her hardened not to trust anyone (kill) and destroy her emotionally, academically and physically.

I wouldn't blame the devil for doing what he knows how to do.

DollyParton1:
LAWD!!!!! Women are their very own worst enemies indeed. Imagine the hate oozing off this thread mostly from women. All of ya are guilty of the same crime. How is all the above comments not another way of pulling other women down.
Men are saying derogatory things about women and fellow women are getting excited and saying shiiits also. Bringing down people is common to both gender. I have had my fair share of experience from both sides. Talk about people being bad generally and not limiting it to a particular gender. A man can bring you down in the same way that a woman can.

I liked and shared and just have to quote.

I would be scared of the women on this thread saying bad things about women myself.

God console the family she left behind.

essenceplus:
I was going to ask this evening jare. Wanted matured female to discuss with especially around the subject of how females quickly transit from sexually expressive pre marriage to sexual repressed after marriage. This issues are pusing me towards publishing oh. Considering there's no pro Christin life magazine anymore. Its private jets they are pushing upandan. What do you think?

If you want to open a thread, I will contribute my thoughts on it.

essenceplus:
Excessive feminine sympathy is spoiling our ladies rotten worldwide. I'll start the process of leaving this shit hope forum from now.

I opened a thread on over emphasis of the girl child.

Hopefully, the world doesn't become too gynocentric that it tilts towards pre-feminism days again.

essenceplus:
Now I've been thinking of this lately, sexually expressive and crazy ladies before marriage automatically becoming sexual repressed and suppressed for no justifiable cause. The excessive hype of the value of women whereas the combined value of both parties not been taught empowers this lifestyle I choose to say and believe. I find it very very ddisturbing that due to too much indoctrination, ladies are setting themselves up with prize tags for almost anything even in marriage. What's consent in marriage,if consent is to be sought, then marriage shouldn't be necessary. Marital rights enshrined within the roles and responsibility in marriages should guide the roles of both gender with tolerance and consideration for one another. I find it very disturbing when people want to dictate how couples should ibtimiate. What's more disturbing is 90% of the so called marital rape many times. Started from the position of one party weaponizing their value or hurting the others psychological person hood than otherwise. People are hypocrites. If my daughter doesn't want to have sex in future, then marriage isn't for her. You f she wants to be married she and her husband should choose what works best for them, which is why the choice of who one marries is by far one of the most important choice to make in life when building ones destiny

There is a thread on that here: https://www.nairaland.com/4436386/transactional-vs-validational-sex

I also believe that anyone intending to marry must realize they cannot hoard sex or hold their partners to ransom via consent or not.

essenceplus:
Preach. You see why I follow your comments. Objectivity. Note people who think through their emotions and wear their hearts on their slvees. The roap map to change and development starts with doing things differently, and for this to be done differently there has to be an examination of what's not right within a faulty system and then make corrections and improvement. Make no mistake, Africa is stuck in mediocrity, even Nigeria as a result of a laxity to follow through with this learning process.

I agree with you.

Thanks

LilMissFavvy:
Hmm.....it seems you are still convinced there is nothing like marital rape. I think the best advice you can read so far, is that ''you should have paraphrased the Topic as a question, not a statement'', I can recall you even told me it was a statement. Too bad that after I wasted so much time and followed the thread, it's wiped off. Tho am still trying to understand if that thread was worse off than the miseducation threads which I don't even follow, but which I think is much more offensive.

I sympathize your posts were wiped off.

It is sometimes hard to get stuffs penned down twice.

I read some of his miseducation threads and I agree with the sentiments of one (sex on credit) even though it could be more robust.

Men & women develop/bloom at different stages. Women earlier than men so it pays women to marry in their 20s preferably early so they can marry their choices unpressured.

The guy who seems awkward at 22 becomes a stunner at 35 especially if he takes care of himself well.

It is good to read such stuff with an open mind and pick what you can.

Ladyhippolyta88:
Yes

Ok.

naijaguy123456:
You don’t have to be a lesbian to be good and successful as a female footballer. Chichi Igbo take note.

o

She looks like Flavour's brother.

Sure she is female? Look at her private part area. I am not sure females can be like that.

Congrats to Azzizat, Omo ti o gbe oruko ebi ga.

Nice touch from Barcelona.

Sometimes, I feel you are an alter ego.

I know someone who said when making love and they have something really bothering them, they just start praying and solutions come.

Sex is the best gift God gave to married couples.

Was expectations not discussed during courtship?

And nothing pisses me off than spouses sweeping issues under the carpet when they should communicate.

Is eating bread or outside everyday the solution to the problem?

Mznaett:
No, thanks. Marriage is not on my list.

Care to share why?

sherylbakky:
7 never knack nah

Hahahaha

Mznaett:
Maybe, I should remind you that I can't compromise my happiness for the average man .

When you get married, there will be lots of compromises on both ends.

Just marry a sane man.

ubunja:
women bloom from 15 to 25. And as time is going on they are blooming earlier and expiring earlier.

In your world.

ubunja:
are you asking what the Patriarchy is or what?

What has the patriarchy got to do with the thread?

To live well, one has to understand one's leverage and use it.

In the primal mode,

Women bloom from late teens to early 30s. They peak again socially in 60s when they can get all the social and emotional support.

Men bloom from late 20s to 50s when they seem to be younger

They unfortunately do have the cushion for emotional and social support so must build good homes.

Everyone should understand their time and run with it.

segundpundit:
Lmao, sex on credit!!!
But come mid 30s Sandra makes a startling discovery: she has to use more and more make-up to maintain her good looks. Which means one thing: Her beauty is fading! Five more years even she can't stand her morning face and applying makeup is becoming a two hour exercise. Then more bad news. Male attention starts drying up. Where per day she gave her number to no less than two men, she's now lucky if one man asks for her number a week. It's hurting her, because No male attention means no sex and no sex means no cash and gifts.



Can resonate with this shit...., like it or not the patriarchy was God's plan

What is patriarchy in this?

Zinny25:
I can relate to that... There's this guy that asked for my number, I told him no but he insisted so I did. I never picked his call, Las Las I still blocked his number

Next time, stand your ground.

breakerofchains:
SHE DOES NOT LIKE YOU. PERIOD.

sometimes, I give guys my number because some of them can be such pests but I block them soon enough.

Also stop intruding women's spaces with your boring conversation.

Also, have you tried money? It works because it shows you value her time and you're not a jobless timewaster.

It makes no sense that you give a guy your number when you have no interest in him.

Is your personal information that cheap?

iRepNaija1:
Did it ever occur that she just might not be that into you?

And she gave her number?

I have chatted with guys in professional settings that I did not even ask for their names neither did I give them my number.

Acidosis:
Great! That's a very rare thing to find

Really?

Mznaett:
I can't even compromise my happiness for one.

If your feet are not well rooted, you can't withstand the typical Nigeria man's excesses.

The fear of the Typical Nigerian husband is the beginning of wisdom.