₦airaland Forum

CaveAdullam:
1. How far you will go in life is dependent on a melange of factors y'all don't seem to consider, take note of or blatantly choose to be oblivious.

2. Everyone just wants to think and grow rich, become a richer dad, and think big with some power of positive thinking. Alongside, determination, endurance, persistency, consistency, zealouness, and medium to long-term insomnia in the pursuit of your big dreams.
Wait. All these are vital in the race to success, they must be included in your toolbox. But some factors are the true determinant of success, and if these factors don't play in your favor, you may not win in the race of life - many don't win, and it is not their fault.

3. We have been blinded and romance by the survivorship bias: we see the few successful people and don't care about the majority that tried and failed. We always see the exceptions and do think we are the exceptions - those majority had the same thought too.

4. The most important factors:

A. Your country of birth.

B. Your genetics.

C. Your biology.

D. Your family background.

E. Your place of residence.

F. State of politics in your place of residence.

G. State of economics in your place of residence.

H. The information you are allowed to access.

I. The information you are not allowed to access.

J. The zeitgeist of your place of residence.

K. The legislature of your place of residence.

L. Your place of residence and foreign politics.

M. The existing religions circulating your place of residence.

O. Time and chance.

P. actions and behaviors of people.

Q. State of affair in your place of residence. Are there infrastructures? What about basic human necessities?

R. Luck (the most underrated of all).

5. As a teenager, where do you find yourself in reference to 4 above? Are you at an advantage or disadvantage? You must ask yourself these questions because suffering is imminent regardless of the path you choose to follow. And if any or all don't fall in your favor, you will struggle hard. I mean "extremely" hard.

Take for example: by birth, princes and princesses born into a Saudi monarchy family already have a sweet position in the affairs of life. Same with those born with golden and silver spoons.

6. Possibly there is hope. And that hope is that we don't want to be classified among the majority at the bottom. We must thrive. Refer to the 3 above.

7. The teenager must:

A. Learn how to think in order, read, write and speak.

B. Be able to express himself calmly and confidently.

C. Must see his name as a brand and must build it to have a reputation.

D. Must show respect for people. But first, must learn how to understand human behaviors and actions.

E. Must be humble but deadly. He must not allow himself to consistently fall prey to predators and manipulators.

F. Must be conservative even in hedonism. Pleasure is good for the body but will destroy the soul. (Not in the religious sense though).

G. He must learn how to calibrate his time based on his productive activities.

H. He must subject himself to learning. And must be willing to learn from all corners: light, dark, big, small, joyful, and sorrowful.

I. Learn sales and marketing.

J. If chance, and has the IQ and or patience to study in a higher academic institution, he must only consider the STEM field. Other courses of interest can be studied in the library. No need to waste time and money.

K. Surround himself with people better than him. Or in the spirit - the library.

L. Must sought for truth and information in all corners.

M. Must be willing to embrace suffering and gain from all his experiences and interactions.

N. Must endeavor to work and earn for himself no matter how little or demeaning. It is a process.

O. Must not be overwhelmed by ego. He mu, st protect is not let it ruin him.

P. Must be flexible and versatile, especially in the right direction.

8. If he can get a mentor, that's fine. If not, he must hold himself accountable and put all that he has learned into practice.

With his toolbox complete and with the hope that time and chance will favor him, that he will be lucky before he breaths his last, he will come out successful at the finish line.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
1. We say nobody is perfect. But when we do wrong we shy away from punishments or rationalize why we did it. When others do wrong, we call on hades. Humans!

2. Humans comprise a lot of behaviors that are similar to wild animals - anyways, we descended from the same ancestors. However, our higher mental capacity has helped us to act in more civilized and friendly manners.

3. Don't box people. Humans will disappoint you at one particular time or the other. Always expect it and prepare for it. Even you do unexpected things many times that shock your imagination.

4. Device means to do delicate activities yourself. It is not easy, but it is the price you pay for delicacy.

5. Outsource what you can easily recompensate for.

6. Always play a positive sum game: let there be an exchange of value between you and people. Let the outcome be a win-win for both of you. If the person doesn't want to lose he must do a good job.

7. Appeal to people's greed. Tell them what they will gain from every dealings with you.

8. Or, appeal to their fear. If you are their superior, you can threaten them with what they will lose if they fail to comply with you.

9. Become a person of integrity. Be competent and accountable in your dealings. Be smart. Then, the people you'll mostly encounter are people like you. And you will be able to determine the track record of any person you want to make dealings with. You can easily spot the good from the bad.

10. Humans change. Circumstances change. A man of integrity can become a fraudster tomorrow maybe as a result of poverty. While a prostitute as a result of serious illness may forgo prostitution.

When dealing with humans, create room for this change, and you'll be ahead of time and not shocked by any disappointment.

Thanks.

CaveAdullam:
1. Is it that you love/like women but don't want to marry, and prefer courtship? Or, you are a misogynist? Or, a sexist?

2. Machiavellian tactics are embedded in the feminine psyche as a result of their evolutionary past. If you're weak and dumb, you will not survive to reproduce. This is mother nature at work.

3. Women are born Machiavellians, especially in the aspect of their mating and sexual strategy. Men are still training themselves in the art.

4. To women, a relationship is a business. For men, it is love and romance. That's why women can easily jump into another relationship after a breakup. While men weep for a specific amount of time after break up.

5. The mating strategy for women is business-wise because egg(ova, ovum) is expensive and limited. Women bear the cost of pregnancy and more parental investment in their children. Ejaculation is quick, sperm is cheap and produced in millions. Scarce commodities are more highly-priced than common commodities - eggs and sperm respectively.

6. Since it is business, you don't expect women to be nonchalant about it. Women are the gatekeepers of sex; sex will not happen if women don't allow it. They are the choosy sex: they choose the male(s) they want to mate with. This is where the manipulations get tough:

A. Men must prove themselves before they get sex.

B. Women select the type of men they will mate with based on their mating strategy - alpha fvcks; beta bucks.

C. Manipulation and exploitation set in because men are 24/7 h0rny due to a larger volume of the hormone testosterone than women. Horniness for women is cyclical - which falls during the proliferative phase of the menstrual cycle.

Since men want sex all the time, women can easily finesse them.

D. Prostitutes are not around because of a lack of sex, love, and romance. They are after men's money because men are the gatekeepers of commitment; prostitutes offer sex to get it. Men are not after prostitutes' money. They are after sex and they pay with their money.

E. Women see sex as a means to an end. And that end is a man's commitment. Women are emotional about sex because the cost of sex/reproduction is high and they need a man's commitment to cater to the aftermath of sexual intercourse. While men see their commitment as a leeway to excessive sex, love, and romance.

7. If I say women are emotional about sex, why is it men that usually feel more pain after breaking up? Simple answer: Loss of commitment. Women can provide sex any time or day, anywhere or place. There's no competition before women can give sex. Competition only happens when quality males are scarce.

8. Securing commitment involves wrestling with other males and can even lead to death. Men are physical, and always like to take it by force. The highest number of murder victims are men; men are still the highest perpetrators of murder. Murder is not a common crime though. Unlike sex, commitment is not cheap even though men are the gatekeepers.

9. Women know this and they date several men at a time. Mr. A, B, or C will provide what she wants. Their vagina walls are elastic you know. Men can't afford to date several women distributing their commitment. However, they are ever ready for free sex.

10. Take note: This mating strategy is instinctual. Only when brought to our notice do we think it a conscious act. Social media bloats the effect of the mating strategy consciously whereas genes are acting behind the scene unconsciously.

11. Marriage institution just like the University is dying slowly because people don't get what they expect. Marriage is failing because:

A. No concrete institution oversees its affairs. The family court that ought to protect it exploits it through stupid divorce and family laws.

B. Liberal culture in nations. Our animalistic tendency is been appealed to because no set rules and quality leadership. This is prevalent in developed nations.

C. In underdeveloped nations, women engage their sexuality for their livelihood. Thereby making them unfit for marriage. While the men engage in various crimes.

12. Female promiscuity can lead to a decline in civilization if not curtailed. When men who are the pillars and saviors of civilization decide to engage their libido with women, with no sexual restraint, there will be no/slow productiveness.

13. Although by men's nature, their promiscuity is to spread their genes, it doesn't make them less marriageable. Women want men that can accrue many women as it signifies sexual prowess and resources.

14. Promiscuity reduces a woman's value. Overall, promiscuity leads to a decline in civilization in the long run if not "curtailed". And it is to curtail it that marriage seems reasonable.

15. Marriage does not only curtail sex. It is the building block of civilization. Marriage unites families and provides good space and network for individual growth. It is in the family one learns the basic tenets of society. And the modern decline of marriage has led to a decline in the nuclear family which has also led to a decline in reputable individuals.

16. (Please, marriage here can be whatever you want to call it: monogamy, polygamy, traditional, brown or white wedding). The most important thing is the family.

17. The family is like an onion bulb, every layer you remove exposes the inner layers to the sharp edge of the knife. Each layer bind together to protect itself and form a unit. The knife aims to split the onion bulb into tiny helpless Incoherent fragments.

18. Like the onion bulb, Individuals will not stand without the family, and the family can't stand if they are not bound by marriage. From research and statistics, individuals from single parenthood don't perform well as their counterparts with at least two parents and other family members.

19. You can be misanthropic, or a nihilist. But the question is are truly ready to face death mano a mano? Those that have lost faith in themselves and humanity branch the road of suicide, and it is not their fault. Humanity is like the ocean tides, full of ups and down. With strong faith and hope and love for mankind can one be able to bear with it.

20. Until there is a total overhauling of the different sectors and affairs of our lives, with the rise of quality leaders with established rules and order to help manage the majority, the decline continues. And our fate is doomed!

21. Sexual relationship, courtship, dating, and marriage is a rough terrain at the moment, and I advise men to tread carefully. They should only deal with quality women and let the trashy ones be. Women are for fun and good complements. It is bliss where a quality man meets a quality woman.

Men, don't settle for less or allow society to bully you into an irredeemable hole. Be wise. Be watchful.

Thanks.

Metrofox:
Majority of Nigerians are sick and illiterate . Sickness of the mind and psyche. At least 20,% are in a state of learned helplessness 50% suffer from Stockholm syndrome the rest are divided between illiterate, religious fundamentalist and tribal bigots. For a significant group, they suffer from a cocktail of these illnesses .

The sane ones are in the minority of the minority.
How does anyone make the mistake of entrusting his future in the hands of such a people?

I feel bad for the trapped minority, made up my mind a long time ago and they only regret is the 10yrs minimum Nigeria steals from everyone who is born and matures to adulthood in that contraption .

For those who believe in elections in an underdeveloped country. Look at the stats above again. Miracles do happen anyway... cheerio

Evolutionlove:
I hope we cross paths someday preferably In diaspora. You will forever be remembered for this golden piece.

crystalmoon:
any time I read your post I know I will learn something
Keep up the good work

Raalsalghul:
Honestly, I've started thinking about this vasectomy thing.

I can't with my knowledge and things my eyes have seen bring a child into this continent.

My parents were foolish doesn't mean I should be.

Anchor19:
Thanks boss. I'll look forward to your response. That post you made on the thread created by THE5DME was refreshing to my soul. It's a very realistic post that made me realize that success is never guaranteed until it is achieved.

Anchor19:
Thanks for this wonderful piece, sir. Anger and the urge to argue and prove my points to people are still the things I'm yet to control. Most times I know the argument will end in futility but I'll still go ahead and jump into it.

Anchor19:
How to practice meditation. I think I need it now. I'm at a stage in my life where I just want to be alone and focus on my goals. But there are too many disir myself. I'm just confused and angry with myself. I have a lot of things to say but I'll stop here. I'm below 20yrs. I just want to learn and practice how to meditate, reflect and focus on my life.

heartofcity12:
Being a celebrity doesn’t mean you’re smart.

Anchor19:
Thanks for this wonderful piece sir. Anger and the urge to argue and prove my points to people are still one of the things I'm yet to control. Most times I know the argument will end in futility but I'll still go ahead and jump into it.

How can I practice meditation sir? I think I really need it now. I'm in a stage in my life where I just want to be alone and focus on my goals. But there are too many distractions. I'm just confused and angry with my self. I have a lot of things to say but I'll stop here. I'm below 20yrs.I just want to learn and practice how to meditate, reflect and focus on my life.

CaveAdullam:
1. When you have an athletic or a wrestler kind of body, the number of persons that will upset or provoke you will lessen. They will think twice before doing anything with you. You are like a monster, a giant that must not be treated with disdain. Your body physique passes a message to their subconsciousness that you are in for the game at any time. Even jokes and banters will be carefully calibrated.

The gym is where you sharpen yourself and build strength.

(Ectomorphs, we must get there; by fire by force).

2. Extroverts will commonly conflict with people because they are outgoing and social. Introverts don't have this as much a problem.

The key here is to limit the number of people you relate with. Or, relate with people that have the same frequency as you.

3. Humans are fluid in their behaviors and actions. Someone you love in the morning can turn into a crazy melodramatic mosquito at night.

Before you react try and understand the cause of that person's behavior. It is difficult though. Humans are first led by feelings before they come to reality via logic. As an individual, you must become the horse rider of both your feelings and rationale. Logic application is optimal and must come first. But that shouldn't deprive you of emotions towards others or yourself. Knowledge and proper application are imminent.

4. When someone provokes you, leave immediately. Don't reciprocate insults. Don't try and let them see any reason with you. Just leave.

5. Not all the time you leave and allow ignoramuses to have their fill. You must also learn to put them in their place. You must become confident. Once they notice that you don't take a sh!t and don't back down easily, they will maintain their lane.

6. Don't hit first during any argument. It is better to avoid arguments because it doesn't end well. Once you have stated your points, go mute. Every new day comes with new learning. Your opponent may not learn via argument but by other methods.

Don't force yourself on people.

7. Define every relationship you enter. Wives will challenge the authority of their husbands. Ditto for children and their parents.

It is good the man maintains order in the home at all times. Discipline and order must not be made inconspicuous by romance or care.

8. Men react with force when they feel threatened. It is how they were built by mother nature/biology. While women run to men for protection when threatened.

When a woman upset you as a man, don't feed her ego with a counter or argument. Ignore and walk away. Women have a high verbal intelligence than men, they will always win with their mouths (insults, abuses, banters, cries). Though you feel threatened as a man, you must not fall victim. Society is already on her side because women are seen as the weaker sex. Just walk away.

But if you have established order and stand by it, her bullish!ts will minimize. She will try by all means not to provoke you. However, no (sexual) relationship is free of conflicts.

Women should learn to curtail and control their mouths and feelings.

9. For religious people pray and study more. For the non-religious, you can practice meditation and study more.

The more you pray/meditate and study, the more you elevate yourself above others and the usual problems that come with them.

10. Create time for retrospection, find those areas you did wrong, and make corrections.

11. Learn to know the arrogant and histrionic and separate yourself from them.

Prevention is better than cure.

Thanks.

Kipaji:
Thank you for the gems Mr. Cave

Reminderz:
Guy! you need to write a book.

Kipaji:
Cave, your inputs are some of the most valuable and insightful in this forum. Thank you.

Reminderz:
comrades, you have 3 responsibilities. what you expect of yourself. what your family expects of you and what society expects of you.

if you don't define these 3 for yourself, the world will define them for you... and believe me, it will be very ugly.

sinkhole:
Next time, APC organisers will be asking invited artist to give them the lyrics before the event
Ásà ti sha won lule