₦airaland Forum

descarado:
Seems like the guy is the type who don't set boundaries

What will ever lead to her siblings being rude to him?

What is his business with such people?
Cut them off completely both her friends.

Hope he is not the one looking for their wahala.
But then again, they should tell their sister.

Stop them from coming to his house, they need help, he should hire somebody who comes and goes.

Also, I think he is the type who feel 70% of marital problems are solved by money.

Wifey used his money do charity work. He should expect more.

I advice not to give again.
Let her sweat for that money she throws away carelessly.

And oga should sit and talk instead of allowing money do the talk.

Oga is not happy she didn't use him as next of kin
But una no dey use una wife na
Why is hers different?
Abeg, marital problems no dey finish

Crackhaus, u don born?

descarado:
If it didn't work for you, don't conclude it's entrapment for others.
Marriage has lifted lots of ladies from nobody to somebody in life. Different families have also benefited cos they are related to some people by marriage.
It's granted women abandon their lives.
But, what about men that welcome you, a stranger to their privacy?
What about men that married you as nobody and made you somebody?
All these extremists.

Lots of women don't have dreams, it was their husbands that encouraged them to reach the pinnacle of their various careers or business or are you saying women up there doing wonders are all single?
Rather advocate for women to have more say in the home and society at large not this bullshit

Most married Nigerian women in diaspora are there courtesy of their husbands. That's dream.come true of more than half of Nigerian ladies.
Will you guys stop.
If you don't want to marry, suit yourself but don't come online to belittle an institution that has been proven statistically that makes better homes, families and people than its counterparts.

Also if you ask some women, they actually just want to be housewives only.

Do your research well before coming online with bikes all over.

Gosh.

What a dark soul.

THUNDER4real:
If you carry vgina people matter for head, you will die before your time. Just do the best you can, use your senses and don't be pushed by one atom of their words. Definitely in this life and the life that is to come, The future can never never be female. God has reason for making Males the head. God is too wise.

Orld777:
Thanks for your suggestion. It will be very tricky for me to do all that because I don't have much details about the mother and I don't even know the child surname or date of birth but I will try to do some research.

Orld777:
Six yrs ago I left my city to a different city for a greener pasture, I left behind my wife and 2 children. I was a faithful husband to my wife and used her whenever I can everything was peaceful. Then come 2018 I have had planned to return back to my city in 2018 ending because I have had saved a lot of money to start business over there. Then the devil came to tempt me by sending me this beautiful woman till now I don't know how I gave in to her because I have vowed all my life to never cheat on my wife. But this lady won me over. We started dating and always sleep with her with condoms on to make sure that she doesn't get pregnant. But I was shocked jsut three months into the relationship, she drop a bombshell that she was pregnant, I was confused and I asked her what about all the condoms that I have been using and there's no way she could be pregnant but she insisted that I was the father. I told her I wasn't ready for the baby and I am married all I could ever do for her is to give her the money to terminated but she refused. She wanted to keep the pregnancy so I told her to keep it at her own risk because I will have nothing to do with her or the baby. I gave her the money incase she change her mind and decided to opt for the abortion she can use the money. She left my place in tears and she blocked me. I didn't know see her again till I left the city back to my city, actually I knew her house but I didn't bothered to go look for her. It has been 2 years plus since I am back with my family and I have never told my wife anything and she has never found out about my affair too. Last week I was in my office ( I am self employee) to my suprised the lady I had an affair with show up with a small girl who just look like me first time seeing her I was in tears . I was in shocked  and started wondering how did she know my office I was angry what if my wife was there but I decided to keep my cool and listen to her. She said she was attending a funeral jsut 10 mins away from my place and she begged me to watch the child for her and she will be back in an hour. I asked her about the person who gave her my office address but she didn't respond she said she will tell me when she return back. She gave me her number to call her incase of any problem. Honestly I don't know how I have accepted to watch the child for her thinking that she will be coming in a hour like she said, but she never came back. Her number was not reachable she also gave me a wrong number. I was shattered and I didn't know what to do with the child, I was at my office until 10pm trying to figure out what to do with her. At the end I have to drop her at my cleaner house where she is now. My cleaner hasn't been coming to work because she is taking care of the child and I am restless because I have no idea what to do with her. I blamed the lady for everything when I have asked her and given her the money for the abortion and why did she choose to keep the pregnancy then later to abandoned her with me when she fully know that I never wanted her in the first place. What will I tell my wife and will she forgive and accept her that easily. I love my wife and kids so I don't want to this my illegitimate child issue to break my home. Please house advixe me.

Mindlog:
What of the phone number(s) you used to communicate with her when the affair was going on, the number she blocked you from?

The child in your custody is enough evidence for the police. Be the first to visit the police and make sure your wife knows what is happening, before the police visits you.

Please change the illegitimate child on your title to my child out of wedlock.

descarado:
They don't have any authority except the one given to them by the bride and her family.
And this is an outrageous bride price.
Have never heard of this crazy thing before.

Would be brides instead of protecting and shielding their prospective husbands from wolves, tend to exaggerate and make the guy look like a president before her family which then extend to the greedy elders through gossips and that's why you have this nonsense.

The guy in question always rode on white horse when visiting.
After marriage, na the babe go hear am. When problem arise, those wey chop money will tell her straight away they are not ready to vomit.

bukatyne:
Is it now gender equity?

We are getting there. The world would not disintegrate after all.

The definition of feminism on wikipedia has changed sef. It used to be a bit different those years I used to quote it here.

For the purposes of enlightenment, feminism is about demanding for gender equity, justice and access to equal resources for everyone, which will benefit families, communities and the wider society as a whole.”

bukatyne:
This really cracked me up

Why?

FreeSpirited:
All of this and many more factors makes me envy and praise young guys who are marrying and still taking care of their family in their own way. Dem dey try.
The question is, is it really not that bad for young families and their plans to give their family the best in this country? Am I just delusional or too idealistic?

descarado:
Watch some old naija movies.
You will know how first son, first daughter, second son, second daughter etc in that order behaves.

Second sons and daughters are mostly rebellious, jealous and competitive.
3rd are in their own world trying to outdo themselves.
Last is entitled but somehow they surprise people.
As for the first born, they are automatically parents, fiercely protective and somehow arrogant.
Where do you belong?

Mariangeles:
In a desperate bid to shade, they end up not making any sense!

Mariangeles:
For your mind you too get sense abi?

Mariangeles:
Whose fault is it then if you only meet the "wrong ones"?
One's personality determines the kind of people they attract you know?

I can only agree with you on the entitled part to a certain extent (they mostly act like entitled princesses because it's part of how they were raised) ...then again, we all have flaws in general. Nobody's perfect.

farous:
Please is it possible there are some married women that will be happy or prefer that things are not going on well with the husband since they got married,that the man being in poverty circle and struggling and stressfully to fend the family than being rich.

If such type of women exist, please what can be the cause.

mariahAngel:
He's not a Nigerian, he's not on nairaland.

descarado:
You know, this reminded me of one lady that was a tenant in my sis house. She met the guy where ever and they started dating. He was working in one govt establishment in a town while she work as a staff( sec) in shell Ph
Lady advices him to quit cos there should be more job opportunities in the city for him than her quoting and going to that town.
Easier said than done. Guy stayed 1 yr, no job. You know sec wear cover shoes and suits. Na so he dey clean, dust and air shoes, dry clean work clothes and what have you

Sometimes this lady will come back, see him taking her shoes inside and she will start admonishing him. Please stop. You make me feel so bad. He said he knew how to do ice cream so she got all that's needed and he started. Supplying some places, and still searching for work. 2nd yr, they got married. Lady did everything, bought a car for him to use for his ice cream biz and was still on the look out for job for him.
We go to their house to eat afang soup. Guy is the best cook I have ever known. Even my married sis will disappear to their house to eat from his pot( akwaibom),
One day, when I came for holiday after a long time, I saw they now have 2 cars, guy has a job at shell courtesy of the wife. She bought a new car for him and took the first one.

Even my inlaw one day said that this is a man.



This guy would have enjoyed this lady to the fullest and she will press all necessary buttons to make sure he get employed but pride goes before a fall. He don't even like her. I pray better man come her way.

Who knows the empty promises he made to her. How he had 10million in his account.
Mbok

bukatyne:
Hahahahahaha @ the last paragraph.

Someone who is not old enough to consent to sex or drink alcohol is 'old' enough to insist on the gender he/she is.

LadyTiannah2:
You saw the part where I said men should respect a woman, as long as she isn't showing him disrespect or causing him harm right? Of course you did.

LadyTiannah2:
My point is that men should respect women. If you want respect as a man, then show respect too.

descarado:
Women actually lose interest more and quicker.

Always do your research well before you start what you can't finish.

I blame the Nigerian govt. Nothing to do after graduation

PrimadonnaO:
Summarily, when a man gets married following a pregnancy it is usually about the baby, and not primarily about the woman... not about loving her wholly... not about knowing there's no one else he'd rather be with.

This trend has been mind-boggling to be honest. I've seen people date for many years, people who are well enough to be married, but the marriage never happened until a pregnancy showed up.

I don't say it out loud, but I've always felt they "settled" rather than going for what they actually wanted. It's why I decided to sample opinions.

ImaIma1:
True. But some factors still get in the way. I was in the hospital 2 weeks back; admitted into the same room with a woman who just put to bed.

After 9 yrs of waiting to conceive, she did. She carried the baby to full term and had the baby. But the baby died the next day.

I was just so shaken that I couldn't just imagine what she was going through.