₦airaland Forum

Joel3:
People ask me why I don't take girls serious and if I don't plan to marry. One question in my mind is how many women nowadays will submit their money at their man feet ?

My old man run the home even when no one works. And when my mom start working she submit the money at his feet. Girls nowadays are looking for man that will serve them. Count me out.

While this is true to a large extent, you must correct the notion that submitting giving of salary to one's spouse is akin to servitude.

It may just be a financial decision based on who manages money better and who doesn't (which can go either way).

And yes, there are women who still do it (@ your topic), hard as it may seem.

That mental illness is the deal breaker here, it's usually hereditary and can be passed on to the children.
I'm not quite sure what "not seeing at night" implies however...

The marriage was contracted on deceit, so please go ahead and tell him to end it if he pleases.
After all, there are no kids in the picture yet tethering him to her for life.

micariice:
I have a girlfriend that I love so much and at the moment we are about to start living together and she will get pregnant in the first year of living together and I want to know how much it really cost to raise a family when you have 2-3 children in this modern age for me to plan ahead

Start with 1 child first, you will figure everything out on your own from then onwards...I assure you.

sokkatua:
My wife would leave home for two days claiming she's working overtime, she would cook for my daughter but not for me , we longer communicate in the house, she refuses to contribute anything towards mortgage or bills because according to her, it's man's job to pay for everything even though I m only making minimum wage working as a concierge. A particular guy drops her off every time she goes to work and when i asked her who he is , she went into a tirade questioning my rights to question her. I tolerated her effrontery till three weeks ago when she was boldly telling a guy she loves him right in front of me . I lost my cool and I ended up in jail for 3 days.

That right there is the only problem I can detect in your marriage. You tolerated too much, and women will always be women – give them an inch, best believe they're gonna take a mile.

The moment she started doing things you didn't like was the moment you should have acted by calling her out on them. She would have tried to gaslight you by calling you names such as "insecure", "immature", "too jealous"... she may have even gone as far as comparing you with other men who act more manly than you do (in her opinion) because they don't complain too much.

The point is, you allowed her get away with a lot because you were trying to be the calm mature husband.

Tolerating a woman's bad behaviour will never get you anywhere with her – it won't make her love you more, it won't make her stop misbehaving either... what it simply does is make her bolder. And look where bottling up all those negative emotions got you – a three-day jailcation.

I suggest you let that woman be – she may even be right and that child you share with her is truly not yours, you never really know with these women.
You don't need to go back to Nigeria either... but out of curiosity, what exactly is your reason for considering such a move?

Arsenate:
Lmao.
I fed my family for a week, I need to be celebrated for the next 3 weeks; I want mother's day celebrated for the next 21 days or we riot.

21 days? How dare you!

A true Queen celebrates it for 30 days straight.

Arsenate:
Lmao, crack me up but I'm inclined to agree with you. Men don't make a fuss about things like that. I mean we work hard to feed our families and we do not rub it on our women's faces. We've been doing that for thousands of years. On the other hand, we know how Women (the very few) treat their spouses when they have to do that for a few weeks.

They will celebrate another mother's day in a bit, like the 50th one is it?

angelfallz:

Who no like better thing?

Las las, she go settle for what is available.

What's that saying again about when the desirable becomes unavailable, and so on and so forth...

angelfallz:
Lol. So what was the reason?

A complete lack of satisfaction/contentment with what is available around them. They'd rather seek a prince charming (tall, handsome, rich, & sexy) on the internet.

Problem is, I can't figure out why it never occurs to them that such a "perfect" man would hardly be single even if he claims to be.

I'm thinking something else here...

What if the robbery was a set-up between the wife and her lover?
What if they planned it together to make it look like a robbery-related rape incident?

Three things have been accomplished by this pregnancy:
1. She has removed the stigma of being labelled an adulteress – the rape is not her fault.
2. She has gotten pregnant with the child of her secret lover – women love this.
3. She has succesfully shown that her husband is the one who is infertile – no more sidetalks about her womb.

She has effectively killed three birds with one stone, or is it three stones with one bird...

Damn, I should be nominated for the next AMAA.

ShaqFu:
Ha! I'm sure most feminist won't reason along this line. In their demented thought process, a man should hold back and let a woman physically assault him, why? Because he's a man. Imagine such narrow minded way of reasoning.

It's called a Princess Syndrome (PS) – a psychological disorder.

And like all psychological disorders, the patients all believe they're normal.

angelfallz:
Let's not be too hard on them. We Human beings seek and desire to be loved. Sometimes we may not be getting it through offline interactions or maybe we're too introverted to interact offline.

I used to think this was the major reason people searched for dates on the internet, then I figured it out – it wasn't it at all, at least most of the time.

Again, y'all can carry on... Still weird though

All those guys you know personally who have been asking you out, none of them was good enough? Not even a single one?

Internet relationship-seekers always leave me wondering what kind of life they're living offline to make them unable to find a good enough person to date. Red Flag!!!

That said, carry on...

Woz our bizness inside?

Don't you have family members you should be asking?

These things are usually specific to the type of family/ethnic group you come from.

Desperation is what leads people like the OP into falling victim to these dubious agents.

Once you have plans to travel, take your time and don't be in a rush. Almost everything that an agent claims he/she will help you do, you can actually do them yourself.

The simple answer is YES.

Reason?
You were defending yourself because your life was in danger.

Better to remain single and not incur any extra expenses than being joined together in UNholy matriMONEY with this upgraded liability, 2021 model.

angelfallz:
God bless you.

many of us don't speak or even type the correct English. But we like putting fingers.

You dey mind dem?

What's your point exactly?
That more people are dying these days so it's a sign of the end times?

Amazing...

The internet/social media bringing you news as it happens anywhere in the world, is what is happening and not the second coming.

More people are not dying today compared to 20years ago.
You're just hearing about more deaths because information is now at your fingertips with just one click.

Kobicove:
The one that annoys me the most is stating a statement with "Am" instead of "I'm"

Your sentence should read:
What annoys me most is starting a statement with "Am" instead of "I'm".

I'm just trying to make you understand that despite your annoyance, you don't type/speak perfect English yourself. Most of you who love to point out these English language flaws aren't that good either if we investigate thoroughly.



Angelfallz, you brought me here...

bejeria101:
My issues with movies like this. We know the basic story line coming to put what isnt there would just damage everything for the viewers.

Blunder of the century! Captain america carrying Thors hammer. Thor is a god not a human o.

How could this be a blunder?
You obviously know nothing about the comic books.

Captain America has been lifting Mjolnir in the comics since the 80's.

Didn't realize there were so many MK fans on NL.

I watched the movie about two weeks ago... and although by movie standards, it was at best average, my love for the games was enough to make me sit through the entire thing...

I'm always going to love MK movies regardless of how well they're made.

cyberdurable:
Sorry to bug you can I send u a DM?

Okay

She should not be in a rush to have things done her way. She might have good intentions, but her management skills are quite poor and will betray those good intentions.

What she needs to do first, is learn how to fit into the way your late wife ran the house, and then very gradually make changes little by little.
Just showing up and wanting to do a complete overhaul is very disrespectful.

Why are you people even living together so soon?
This I don't understand...

mariahAngel:
When I say his place, it's deeper than you understood it.
A person that can give up their place can never be relied on. Not as a son, a brother, a husband, a father or a friend.
I can never respect such a person.
Like I typed earlier, he's a weakling, like most modern day men.
There are only few strong men these days.

God will help you find one IJN...

PissfulProtester:
So?

The photo you attached is perfect...

That facial expression mehn

graced21:
please where is the best place to sale 3D interior plastic wall tiles and leather used in making furnitures?
Trenchville or Adjame??

This would be Adjame, just because I had a stop-over there one time when going from Bouake to Agnibelekrou. Lots of businesses go on there and it's very busy, it felt like I was in mini-lagos.

I also remember passing through some shops (selling household materials) that had white men taking inventory/stock of goods so casually. It was funny because those are not things you will see in a Nigerian market.

Sorry I didn't answer your previous question... I was not doing business in Cote d'Ivoire, so the cost of renting shops is not known to me.

cyberdurable:
Please am planning to relocate from Naija to Abidjan to go stay with a brother a start a life, how much do I budget for flight? And what is life like in Abidjan, advice me

Budget between 200–250k... although in this COVID-19 period, it may be a little more than that.
Remember that this amount is not just for your flight ticket, there's other expenses you will incur – yellow fever vaccination et al.

I spent a short time in Abidjan and only visited a few times, I was based in Bouake (an hour plus by bus to Abidjan) for most of my stay in the Ivory Coast.

You will get more information about staying in Abidjan from this thread:
https://www.nairaland.com/5782074/sweet-ivory-coast-memories/43

JONNYSPUTE:
... Nice one. I never thought towards this angle.

I would not have thought towards that angle either if I hadn't witnessed what situations like this can cause in the future.

I won't want to type too long stories, but hell, there's absolutely no need for a legal adoption here.
I believe I've shared one of such stories a while back here where the man had to send his wife's son from a previous relationship (raised & catered for him since he was 3yrs old) to another country, paid for everything, got him started up with life... and straight up told him to take his eyes off his wealth because he had biological sons from the woman (two for that matter).
All of this was prompted due to issues that were already coming up between the sons while he was still alive... Just imagine what would happen if he were dead.

Normally, I don't subscribe to marriage between single never-married men and single mothers – it's just too complicated with many moving parts I'd rather these men steer clear off.
Even in cases where there is/was no legal adoption, there have been issues... not to mention when you now want to complicate it further by making a son you did not birth, assume the legitimate firstborn position over the one that came from your sperm. Mbanu...

Akv666:
Good day guys,

so I've been dating a single Mom for almost 4years now and we're ready to tie the knot, but recently she came up with a suggestion of me adopting her son legally. Her baby daddy has actually been irresponsible right from start, nigga last saw his son when he was 4months old and he hasn't even bought ordinary diaper for the boy right from when he was delivered. now I'm being skeptical about taking him up legally, please i need advice from you guys, no insult please

This is what you should be concerned about, NOT whether the child's biological father is irresponsible or hasn't bought diapers before – learn to comot ear from what any woman tells you about their ex/baby daddy.

The important question here is;
Why exactly does she want you to adopt her child legally when both of you are already planning to get married?

Last I checked, men have been getting married to single moms without legally adopting the woman's child/children, simply because by that marriage, her child/children from a previous relationship automatically becomes the man's responsibility.

What is the point of a legal adoption exactly? Ask her, because you have every reason to be skeptical...

And if no one here is going to tell you this, then I will tell you.
Adopting her son legally means that he will be your firstborn son in the eyes of the law, not that it matters much in that respect since you can use wills to alter inheritance rights... BUT what about culturally/traditionally?
It's an error... You don't want bestow the rights of the firstborn on a son you did not father from your loins – he is NOT your blood descendant.

Now I know that some village brought-up people parading themselves as modernists are going to come here to tell you that it doesn't matter... but my brother, it matters a whole lot. Think smart and think of the future.
You don't want to complicate things for yourself, your family (extended too) and your unborn children.

If the situation were reversed, this same woman telling you to adopt her son legally (thus making him your firstborn son), would NEVER agree to allow a son you had with another woman before meeting her, take the position of firstborn son above the one she will birth for you... Never!!!

Marry her, love her and love her son like you would love your own son... but don't legally adopt him. It is unnecessary.

Cheers...

Thank God for the kind of family I come from...

Even if the jazz any woman can use on me is so strong that it will make me dole out 1m naira to settle her marriage list, I trust my family to wake me up on time.

Millytipzy:
he's a soldier bro. He just feels I should sometimes cover some of his bills

What the hell kind of soldier is he?
Don't they pay soldiers anymore?

You ought to stop making excuses for his bad behaviour

What a silly little boy he is...
I would expect entitled behaviour like this from a lady, but coming from a guy, this is irritating behaviour.

I wish I could slap senses into your bro, make him sef go try hustle.