₦airaland Forum

LadyRosa2:
What if I want him for nacks?

1. Or do you think I fall into category of lovey dovey woman.

2. Sometimes I date for nacks and nothing else.

3. People are wired differently please.

1. I've not paid any attention to you to be able to infer this and I don't think I implied this in my previous write up ...

2. A woman who sleeps around loses value, but it's the reverse for a man ... If indeed you sleep around in the name of "date for nacks", then there's little more that need be said ...

3. You're very correct ma ...
However in the context of relationship, the difference isn't really that much ...

For instance...
If I lined up a 100 women and I asked them to choose between a rich tall man and a poor short man, I think it's clear what every woman will go for ...

Same thing here...
If I lined up a 100men and I bring a lady who "date for nacks" and a virgin lady, all things being equal...

I ASSURE YOU that the chances of even 1 man choosing the lady who sleeps around date for nacks will be far less than 0.0001%...

We are indeed wired differently, but our fundamental needs are (dare I say) the same ...

MasterShifu010:
.
All these from one woman ?🤣🤣… you are asking for a deity ….

Only the gods and the dead can be perfect with impunity ….
-Greek proverb -

You must really have a very low opinion about women if you think that those qualities are "deity like" qualities ...

Lamanii22:
OP said she cooks better when there isn’t money, from his post the girl ticks all his boxes except from the fact that her soup isn’t sweet even when there’s fish and meat so should he break up with her cause of that? Stop talking from a point of hate on women life is not that hard….

Haahhahah ...
So because you don't agree with what I said, or maybe my write up made you feel a certain kind of way, it automatically means I hate women? ...

Typical response of the average female ...
Well, I'm not surprised ...

To answer you question, HELL YES!!!
If a bad cooking is something the OP cannot deal with long-term without complaining, then there's no point being in that relationship UNLESS she's willing to improve ...

Cause for EVERYTIME she cooks a bad meal when he's loaded, the OP will complain and that will put a serious strain on their relationship ...

So yes!
If he can't deal with it and she's not willing to improve her cooking or maybe accept to bring in a maid, then they're better of apart ...

PS: The way you're defending this girl who can't cook, it's like na wuna two follow come ...

I've always said that "Women (in general) are INCAPABLE of giving good relationship advice and it is stupidity of the highest order for a man to take relationship advice from a woman ...

The comments of the females above is proof of that ...

IyaebeTheGreat:
overlook her weaknesses and do the right thing already.

So he should overlook something that bothers him so much so that he came to a public platform to talk about it ba? ...

And by "do the right thing", I'm guessing you mean "marry her" ...

OP if you do this, you'll be faced with two options, either you stay broke and eat good meals or you be rich and risk food poisoning ...

virginprincess:
Then continue to remain broke so you can be eating delicious meals

Really?! ...
Take this advice OP and that girl will dump you like used tissue before you can say jack ...

Lamanii22:
Lol…. You can help buy ordering good soups outside when there is money then allow her cook when you’re broke….

I'm honestly wondering how this advice will solve the problem ...

OP...
Observe that not one of those females said anything about your girlfriend learning how to cook, NOT ONE! ...

In their minds, "it's not her fault" and you should be "grateful" that she's even doing "wifely duties" for a mere boyfriend ...

For your own your good, ignore those females above ...

My advice ...
Sit your girlfriend down and tell her EXACTLY what you've told us, don't sugarcoat nada and don't be afraid to have this conversation with her ...

I mean, is there even a need to get married to someone who you're not free (comfortable) having uncomfortable conversations with? ...

And then from her response, decide whether you want to push through with the marriage plan or you want to show down and find a solution to things ...

I know that no one is perfect, but everyone should know the limit of things that they can swallow (no pun intended )...

Some females can tolerate cheating as long as the man provides for them ...

Some men can tolerate anything as long as the woman has a good shape ...

So if this isn't something you can deal with long term without making a fuss out of it, the call it off asap and don't allow ANYONE blackmail you into a life long sentence of bad cooking...

Kudos @Webdevpro....

You've done very well for yourself and it's commendable that you have such very sorted after languages under your belt, kudos man...

Lemme give you a couple of advice...

1. Open a LinkedIn profile and start apply for jobs there, it'll pay you better than opening a thread on nairaland ...

2. Be a part of ALX Software Engineering ...
It's a very well structured platform that not only teaches software engineering for free, but it links you up with thousands of people all of the world...

At the end of the program (15 months), there's a system in place to help you look for jobs that suits your skills...

On a side note, alx is affiliated with Holberton university, a renowned school based in the US...

Alxafrica(dot)com - that should help you, so go check it out...

3. Since you already have the skills of a frontend DevOps, you can focus on backend in the alx program, it will give you an edge over lots of people in the program...

And don't mind the dude above me...
You've done well...

Don't allow nobody to commonize your progress, NO MATTER HOW LITTLE IT MAY APPEAR TO BE ...

Godspeed my friend...

I'm 100% CERTAIN that if that research was done in Nigeria, the results will DEFINITELY be higher than 52.8/% ...

Wordsfrombimpe:
U be virgin

Lmao

Oops!!!
Hit a nerve didn't I? ...

Either ways...
The girls who want rich men, are they rich themselves? ...

virginprincess:
Broke Nigeria men looking for successful women to leech on ,

Madly in love indeed .

Isn't that the same thing y'all Broke Nigerian Women do? ... Looking for rich men to leach on all in the name of "take care of me" ...

When in reality what y'all really want is a messiah to end y'all's poverty lineage ...

Her ability to cook super great meals...
Be good with kids...
Be a virgin...
An amazing home keeper...
God fearing and supportive...
Loyal and respectful...
Super submissive and ofcourse...
Be super smart and industrious...

This is a clear case of "what I said" vs "what they heard I said" ...

There's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong in what you said OP, that's the truth!! There are no perfect relationship out there ...

The issue however is what she heard or thought you said...

You see the thing with women is that, they ALWAYS read meaning to EVERYTHING...

Lemme give an instance...
A guy comes back from work exhausted and his woman tries to get all touchy with him, and he tells her "babe I'm tired okay, lemme just take a shower and rest"...

In her mind ...
"This guy must be cheating on me" ...
"What did he do at work that he is tired?" ...
"Abi is it that he doesn't want me again because another woman is giving him better?"

But the fact is that, oga is tired, period!! ...

In summary...
Women live in a fantasy land and ANYTHING that reminds them of reality is seen as a threat ...

That in addition to their very "unique" ability to read meaning in every situation prolly made her think that you're not serious with her ...

My advice?
Let her go...
That woman is clearly desperate to settle down ...

And desperation + the above "unique" traits of women = DISASTER!!

And besides...
If she can misunderstand something as little as this, imagine what will happen if your long time female friend hugs you and stains your white shirt with brown powder ...

A religion that believes that all "infidels" or people not part of that religion should be killed or maimed is nothing short of BARBARIC & is UTTERLY USELESS!!!!! ....

Worriedguy6699:
I think what they bring is sex and emotional stability.

Hahaha ...
Emotional what?! ...
Women that have a very fickle emotions that is as stable as NEPA, those are the people that bring emotional stability? Lol ...

Worriedguy6699:
That’s really all A man needs.

Speak for yourself sir...
If that's ALL you need as a man, then that's okay, but for me and for ALL the men that I know, sex and emotional stability ALONE doesn't cut it at all ....

Worriedguy6699:
Most men, once they can get sex at any time and their women provide them peace of mind, they function well in their business and work life.

Now you're talking!!!
Peace of mind in addition to respect (amongst others) very importanta ...

VeeVeeMyLuv:
So what do you advice us to do?

Marry only virgins ...

rabankonchas:
Most people lie about body counts, regardless of age.

Which is why you shouldn't believe a woman when she tells you about her body count, don't even have anything serious (relationship wise) to do with her sef ...

IyaebeTheGreat:
Who are the men sleeping with these young women? Why aren't you condemning them as well or is there any form of immunity covering them?

Is there some kind of immunity preventing women from making money and being providers? I guess not ...

Women can be broke and wretched and still want a man who is richer than her entire generation put together ...

So if it's alright for women to want what they don't have and shame men on their level, why can't men do same ...

Relationships starting dying when women (and sadly men) started taking relationship advice from movies ...

Cause movies and real life are two very different things!!

Movies majorly are just for entertainment purposes and there's very little to learn from them relationship-wise ...

I mean...
The chances of the things depicted in most romantic movies happening in real life is less than 1% ..

Abi which man go stand under rain with flower dey sing song for girl ...

Having said so, OP take what you see with a pinch of salt ...

"I'm still watching this reality show titled "Perfect Match" on Netflix and this rugged looking tattooed guy called Dom is just crying over a girl like a child. I don laugh tire.. One girl called him a baby in a big man's body"

Men take note of this...
This is exactly how women see men who show such emotions over them - Like babies in a big man's body ...

Women don't respect men who are overly emotional over them ...

So all those she-men that are disgracing themselves in the name of "expressing their love" or "being in touch with their emotional sides", take note of this ...

labake1:
Relationship expert, you are everywhere. It's not easy to make a living

First off..
How do you know that he's everywhere if you too haven't been everywhere? Or is that what your Romanceland spies told you ...

Secondly...
Rather than throw snide comments at his person, why not attack his points instead, I mean it's far more sensible to do so than do this ...

@OP...
Women (for the most part) become emotional wrecks during pregnancy, so that could be influencing her actions ...

Secondly...
It's normal to feel a certain kinda way when you're about to enter a life long commitment especially considering the circumstances ...

Thirdly...
The fact that she chipped that in, could mean that she thinks that you guys are rushing things or maybe she's unsure that you're the right one ...

And let's be honest with ourselves here...
If she wasn't pregnant, would you consider going to see her parents when you did? ...

If the answer is "No", then she might be right when she hinted that you guys might be rushing things ...

My advice?
Invite her on a date and have a heart to heart talk with her on this matter ...

Personally I know this story is a big fat lie, but lemme just turn a blind eye to that and assume it's true ...

OP for her to get pregnant without penetration, that means, this cousin guy...

Removed her pyjamas...
Removed her panties...
Put his penis directly on her vagina ...
Mastu.rbated...
And ejacula.ted...

OP...
Do you think that someone will do all this to your girlfriend and she would still be asleep? ...

Abi does your girlfriend sleep nude knowing that he (cousin) is in the house with her? ...

Secondly...
Let's also assume that your girlfriend is a very deep sleeper and thus wasn't aware that all these was happening...

Do you want to father the child that came as a result of this kind of madness? ...

1. 489 ...

Hell yes!!!
She does this and we're done!!!
What sorta level of disrespect is this!?!

As long as the couple involved are certain they can make things work and provide the necessary needs for themselves, then I see nothing wrong in getting married and staying in one room ...

meobizy:
Is this week the attack-women-at-work festival?

Anybody will feel insecure being in a job for a decade or more only to see a fresh-faced twenty-year-old employed. We grow complacent over years. Young workers are also prone to trying to outshine senior peers. Don’t blame them.

If we shouldn't blame a jealous (or insecure) person for being jealous (or insecure), who then do we blame? ...

@OP...
Jealous people will ALWAYS be jealous regardless of whether or not you try not to make them jealous ...

And sometimes the things they get jealous for/about are things you can't do so much ...

If your boss likes you, they get jealous...
You're being yourself, they get jealous...
You're good at your work, they get jealous...

It's not something you can help ...

Abi do you want to stop your boss from liking you? Stop being yourself? Or you want to stop putting in your best at work and being good at what you do?

My advice is outshine them discretely...
Since you said your boss is someone who listens, you could always go to him with very brilliant and creative ideas whilst trying to blend in with them when in public ...

But either ways don't stop giving your best to your job regardless of the so called colleague that is jealous ....

Why is it that when women want to protest, they take off their clothes? ...

Can't protest be made without shedding off their clothes? ...

Abi do they think that going naked on the streets during a protest will make people agree to their demands faster? ...

Either ways Sha...
Shame on eye neck ...

It's something called "Preference" and I see ABSOLUTELY nothing wrong with someone who has them ...

But if you think that there's something wrong with you, then I guess you're right ...

FRANCISTOWN:
See it here



God's word is the scripture(if you're a Xtian). If there is any part of God's word that works for marriage, the pastors up there should had never have a failed marriage, because obviously they are well rooted in the scripture as well(at least they've handled the word with irrefutable proofs). If the word couldn't save their marriages, what makes you think the word would save yours? Are you bera than them?

Hahahahaha ...
So saying "God's word has never failed" is what brought about all this long epistle you wrote ...

Tis well o...
You'll be fine Sha ....
It's just a matter time ...

I honestly want to engage you right now and educate a little on matters that are CLEARLY far above you ...

But I'm asking myself, "How do I engage in a conversation with someone who will say or think what I didn't say?" ...

Cause how "God's word has never failed" translated to all those things you wrote up there is proof of how flawed your reasoning is ...

If a flawed reasoning was the only issue here, then it wouldn't have been totally hopeless, but a flawed reasoning in addition to "Mental/Ideologic Projection" is indeed a totally hopeless cause ...

Either ways Sha...
Once you're ready to have a conversation and actually listen to EXACTLY what I'll say without adding or subtracting or whatever else you did up there, I'll engage you ...

But until then I'll leave you with a quote "That some students failed a subject doesn't mean the concepts of those subjects are wrong" ...

If you like, also add maggi and pepper to this one and say what I didn't say, it's on you ...

FRANCISTOWN:
First of all, you live in the world even if you're not of the world


If you'll be interested here is the scriptural perspective on marriage

^{https://www.nairaland.com/7617755/gods-not-marriage-stop-lying}




Many people are depressed today, do you know why? It's not because their lives haven't turned out the way they want, but because they regret the choices they made that made their lives turn our that way. When people are broke, they regret investing in the wrong stocks, or not saving enough, or not working hard enough, or not meeting the right people e.t.c. They regret one or two decisions they've made. And do you know why? Regret is the most painful emotion. When the truth stares up at people in the face, they still end up going for the least favorable option because in their mind they think their case is different thinking they are special, when in fact they are nothing special. Would you say Kenneth Copeland's first and second marriage crashed because he didn't know scriptures enough? Joyce Meyer, Kathryn Kuhlman, Richard Roberts , Chris Okotie, Chris Okafor, Juanita Bynum Chris Oyakhilome and several others didn't pray or didn't know the scriptures enough. Whoa! You must know the scripture in a special kinna way better than those I've mentioned up there because it is unfair to say that God's word has failed in their marriages.

Can you tell me where in my earlier write up I wrote this? ...

Please point it out, I'd like to know ...

There's one thing lots of women still don't understand or have refused to come to terms with ...

That you're f.u.vkabe doesn't mean you're marriageable ...

A guy can fuvk with you just for the fun of it and he will never ever think anything related to marriage in his head ...

So don't think that because a guy be nac.king you and spending on you automatically mean that he considers you wife material in his head ...

Having said so...
Can I marry the girl I'm dating?

Well...
Time will tell ...

This is somewhat true from the world's perspective ....

However...
I'd rather look at marriage from a scriptural perspective than from the world's perspective ...

Cause last time I checked, God's word has never failed yet ...

Congratulations chief OP🎉🎉

Just keep hustling sir...
Everywhere go stew very soon...

Godspeed chief...

"And i blame him so much for turning me to something like this sometimes i think of my self as a sex object alone i just want him inside me everytime"

You think of yourself as a s.ex object and somehow you still blame your husband? ...

Can't you get busy with your life or occupy your mind with something else other than s.ex? ...

There's really no point advising you, cause advising you is a TOTAL WASTE OF TIME as you wouldn't even apply whatever advice you're told ...

Someone who is ready to take an advice will NOT shift the blame to others, but rather will take responsibility for their lives, actions and thinking ...

And clearly, that's not you ...
So my dear Prettyballer, do whatever is in your mind ...

LadyRosa2:
Hehehe
Me sef be Prophetess,no be today I begin knack bell for people head.you dey learn!
Na small pikin dey worry you. Many of you still dey reason like head boys for school...Do make you welcome to real l life.

Wetin man wey dey follow woman dey find before?,No be to 4ck? What is the essense of puzzy and vagina ? No be to knack?!

A man running after a woman, married woman no be today e start and its not ending anytime soon.And hom go still knack because many married women dey game as e be so.

As womaniser dey, Manizers dey too.

Thats life.
In other words, na so the life be.

A man wanting you just for nacks doesn't make you special ma, rather it shows how very little he sees you - his plaything at best... Something he needs ONLY when he's Hot and every responsible woman should feel insulted by that ...

SPAMBOX7:
Comot eye for another man money. Unless you are handicapped or mentally unstable to hustle. If not one by one they will start avoiding you when they find out you just wanna be around for the taking while contributing nothing

This advice will do much good if it's directed to females ...

Especially those females who believe relationship is an employment ...

@OP...
Work for your cash...

And also...
Being around those kind of friends will influence to want to join them in doing what they do, so limit the time you spend around them ...

The moment I saw an "f" beside the moniker of the OP, I just knew that the information will be inaccurate ...

What women do is that they take qualities that they find attractive in men, cultivate them in themselves, thinking that men too will find them attractive ...

They forget that men and women are different and are attracted to different things ...

Thus what is seen as attractive by women is most likely the opposite of what men consider attractive ...

I dunno who told women that men (in general) find a "strong and independent" woman attractive ...

The OP even listed independence twice to buttress it's importance to men ...

OP...
Lemme tell you something...
Men in general find humility (submissiveness), the ability to give peace of mind and respect far more worth falling in love for, than the independence et al that you mentioned up there, twice if I might add ...