₦airaland Forum

Rokiatu45:
What about you can you cook? Since cooking is a basic life skill.

Yeah you're right...

Cooking is a basic life skill, but so is MAKING MONEY and PAYING ONE'S OWN BILLS ...

But I guess ladies aren't ready to have that convo, are they? ...

tochez24:
You can fix that if she wants to learn, if she's willing to learn you can send her to a catering school oga.... Nobody is 100% o na just fix and fix everybody dey do.

My ex was a good cook and damme beautiful too, very Fair and nice ass, but she cheat pass anything on skirt.... If you come be me wetin you go do

If she's loyal, beautiful and teachable.... You should fix her rather than dumping her!!!

You're right when you said that no one is 100%, however why should it be the OP's responsibility to send her to a catering school? ...

Knowing fully well that the ability to cook good meals is one of the things that is expected of a wife and a potential mother, why hasn't she honed this ability towards perfection before now? ...

Why stress the OP? Why should it be his duty to "fix it"? ... Can't she "fix" herself? ...

Indeed the standards men have when it comes to women is abysmally poor, twehhh!!! ...

OP...
A female who is of "marriageable age" that can not cook CANNOT be said to be a good wife option ...

Let her go in learn on her own!!
It's not your responsibility to fix anybody!!!!

This is something that she should have learnt from any adult female whilst growing up, but no!!

She didn't and now that she's an adult you're now stressing yourself when you can get far "better" women than her who can cook great meals! ...

Well...
Everyone knows what he or she can tolerate ...

I for one CANNOT consider marrying a woman who cannot cook, but if you can, then go ahead ...
Las las the choice is yours ...

And besides...
Are these the only features you're considering in terms of choosing a wife? Hmmmmm... It better not be o ....

All this long epistle and yet, you ended up saying nothing ...

Pringles101:
Fvck off..


It wasn't meant for you.
Mind your business.
The Oloshos I am talking to know themselves

A comment made on a PUBLIC FORUM is open to the PUBLIC for reactions and scrutiny ...

So telling me to "mind my business" in a PUBLIC FORUM shows the extent of your emmmm "wisdom" ...

I'm sure in your mind now, calling those folks "oloshos" makes you a big boy, an alpha male or a red piller ...

Wehdone o ...

Pringles101:
Good news for Candidlady and Siofra.. another potential rapist taken to the great beyond

Dunno if this is a poor attempt at sarcasm or not ...

But your comment is not only insensitive, it's foolish ...

Ooooops!
I wish I read this ...

Like I said earlier, save whatever you wrote here for the men in your family, they'll need this more ...

Jovialjune1:
Comprehension is definitely far from you,

You said a deadbeat man is the head of the home, and I said saying that trash ends with only Nigerian women, you can't try it with white women, don't you understand analogy? Are you an illiterate? Where did I say you mentioned white women? Assimilation and understanding obviously failed you

The next thing is to type trash when you have no valid points, it's like God blessed people like you with emptiness, that's why you come up with the usual emotions rants because you lack the capacity to think,

No where did I insult you but I'll start it right now, you worthless oaf, see the way you litter everywhere with smileys like a toddler ignorant of how to express himself, with your foamy rotten dead brain

Sleep well too.

Precious whyyyyyyyy? ...

Indeed a wife and more has done it again ...

First off...
There is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong in putting yourself first ....

If you don't put your growth, your development and your well-being first, who will put it first for you? ...

And those girls you're contemplating putting yourself 2nd or 3rd for, do you think that they would value you in the long run? ...

Ladies love winners...
And winners come first...
If you want a woman to love you...
Then put yourself FIRST!!!!

Secondly...
If your guard is always up and you don't trust this girl, then you best follow your gut and back off, unless you don't trust your instincts ...

And finally...
Pride and ego has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to with the whole alpha thingy ...

The alpha thingy I read and the one I practice is founded on SELF DEVELOPMENT IN ALL RAMIFICATIONS - physically, financially, emotionally etc ...

So this talk about pride and ego in relation to alpha is not something I am understanding, abi na aba-made-alpha you dey practice? ...

Elchapo212:
1.Yea kids pick up what they see u do around them. We don't know if she's living right or wrong or are u judging her by her having kids out of wedlock?

I understand consequences but then harsh realities probably influenced her options. It's also better she exposes her to sex education at least if she's not going to be chaste she should know what she's getting into.

2. At 16 girls are already into guys and sex so and now there's internet it's easier to connect with like minds from the confines of her room even without leaving the house. So her decision to enlighten the girl ain't all that bad if u ask me.

1. Sir...
A mother who gets scared to the point where she's pushed to suggest family planning for a 16year old girl prolly knows she didn't do a very good job raising, don't you think so? ...

From the write up, one can infer that she suggesting family planning for her daughter wasn't because of any se.x education of some sort, it is out of something called "damage control" ...

It's more like she's trying to mitigate risk, that's how I see it ...

2. I don't think se.x education should include phoning the nurse to give your permission for family planning for your daughter ...

Teach your kids about se.x... yes
Tell them it's consequence... Yes
But calling a nurse to give permission? Nahhhh... That's overboard if you ask me ...

Jovialjune1:
Them deadbeats will always make excuses for their fellow deadbeats

A deadbeat can NEVER be the head of the home

A man that cannot provide can NEVER be the head of a home

Just because you are a male with a dangling phallus doesn't automatically make you the head of a home

It is when it comes to Nigerian women who provides that is when we see you timid dregs yapp spittle about in your attempt to support a lazy deadbeat fool, but when it comes to white women who put you in your rightful place because she is the provider, your timid little behind will cower in fear and answer "yes ma" to every little thing and chore when orders you to do, bunch of insecure, inferior COONS

FYI, I do not make assumptions, because if you read Op's other comments, you will see where he said "she has always been the one providing, so "always" cannot be "sometime", that means it has always been like that from the very beginning,

So shove your little assumptions of "sometimes" and "3 weeks" up your throat, your silly excuses for a lazy deadbeat wouldn't change the fact that the man described in the Op remains a lazy deadbeat that should worship and respect his wife because she is the BREADWINNER and HEAD of the home, instead of shamelessly writing his name on a receipt he didn't pay for, and the wife providing for the home for YEARS.

Hahahahaha ...
Are you sure you got the right mention? ...

Cause I don't remember talking about white women in my earlier write up, so what bearing does it have with me and my write up? ...

This is totally off point ...
You got so emotional that there's barely any sense in your write up ...

And please take this insults to the men in your life o, I'm not interested neither am I the cause of your problems ma ...

I'm tempted to make some clinical observations from your write up, but you're not worth it, so I'll pass ...

Either ways...
Since you're of the opinion that he should "worship" his wife because she's the breadwinner and the head of the home, I hope you would also advice women to worship men who are the breadwinners and head of the home ba? ....

And besides, where in OP's write up did he say she has been providing for "years"? Maybe I didn't see that ...

And also...
If you're still going to be emotional to the extent were you'll write off point again, bikonu don't bother responding ...

Infact sef don't respond at all ...
This time it is white women, who knows whether the next response will be green women ...

Sleep well ...

Honestly OP...
This write doesn't look like something that was inspired by Bishop ...

But be that as it may, lemme try and answer your questions...

One ;is if you are a man with out a woman how then can you call yourself a man.

You implying that a male isn't a man without a woman in his life is not only erroneous, it's preposterous ...

The presence or absense of a woman in man's life has ABSOLUTELY no bearing to him being a man ...

two ;if your father did not spend and woo your mother how could you have been born

I don't know your definition of the word "spend", but I have the most wonderful an amazing mother in the world who doesn't need a man to spend on her before she follows her heart ...

If my mum waited for my dad to "spend" on her before she accepted him, blimey I and my siblings wouldn't be born, cause pops was a broke man with ambitions back then ...

They started from scratch and by God's grace, they were BOTH able to give THEMSELVES the best life possible ...

three; how do cope with intimacy since you hate Nigerian women.

First off...
I don't think the men on nairaland hate women, I think they just hate the modern day woman's ideology, that's all ...

And if by "intimacy" you mean se.x, then you're more or less implying that this is the extent of benefit of a woman...

You didn't ask "how do you cope with life" or with work or with any other thing, you said "how do you cope with intimacy" ...

So I can infer that you think intimacy is the extent of a woman's benefit in a man's life and that my friend is demeaning to the females you claim to want to defend ...

Elchapo212:
As a matter of fact she is in the best position to counsel her little girl(s) because she experienced it first hand. Mistakes don't make people. It's what u do after that matters because we all have our different shortcomings. From her actions it's obvious she means we'll for her child and probably doing better than a lot of parents who shy away from such discussions with their teenage girls. She is doing well so far. Try not to judge too quickly based on people's past mistakes

Sir...
Children don't learn from what you say, they learn from what they see you do ...

And if she indeed does mean well for her daughter like you say...

Then she ought to stop her daughter from being involved with a guy in this manner...

She allowing her daughter to go for family planning at 16 could give the impression that she's giving her daughter the leeway to have sex...

You'll agree with me that the biggest deterrent to a bad action is consequences...

Once consequences are removed, what's to stop a child from carrying out the act?

Jovialjune1:
Since the woman has been the major provider in the marriage right from the beginning, that means he is a deadbeat, because how can a husband who claim to be the head of a home continue to be lazy without improving his finances above that of the wife for years? How can a man be comfortable that the wife is the major provider? He is shameless

It is very common for such men to always want to claim dominance thereby subjugating the wife in the process, they feel intimidated because she is the head and provider, so they claim all properties just to tame the wife, those men are mostly abusive and very l rampant in our society today, and the reason why it's still prevalent is because their wives enable them, there is a case of a woman who bought a land, the husband put only his name as the sole owner, this is a man that is lazy and has nothing, when he was in need of money, he sold the land for peanuts, now they are separated, something the wife should have done a long time ago

Op, make sure your name is on the next receipt, force him to be useful to himself and family, stop enabling him.

Deadbeat or not...
It doesn't change the fact that a man is the head of the home ...

Provider or not, it doesn't change the fact that the man is the head of the home ...

So stop the whole capping ...

This is equivalent to me saying "because a woman can't cook or can't give birth, it automatically means that she's not a woman"...

See how that sounds? ...

And besides...
You're making too.many assumptions and jumping into conclusions wayyyyyy too soon...
How do you know that the man is lazy?
How do you know the man is "shameless"?

So because a woman is doing the heavy lifting for "sometime" it automatically means the man is deadbeat? Wowwwwwwww ...

As far as I'm concerned, "some time" can be as little as 3weeks... Cause if "sometime" was in years, we prolly would see the word replaced with "for a long time" ...

So relax eh...
There's wayyyy too little information here for you to be drawing these conclusions and making these assumptions ...

JoeRusson:
If two has become one, why didn't he put her name as an act of selflessness? I know men that every of their property and belongings is in their wife's name.

LMAO ...
So if a man puts his wife name, it's an act of selflessness, but if he puts his name then it's a problem? ...

Lemme ask ...
Who's name does a wife bear when she gets married? Her maiden name? Or the hubby's? ...

Secondly...
How is a married woman addressed?
Mrs (her name plus maiden name) or Mrs (her hubby's name) ...

Cause last I checked...
If a woman's name is Sandra and her hubby's name is Okoro, it isn't wrong to address the woman as Mrs Okoro that is, Mrs plus hubby's name, so what's the fuss here? ...

I stand by what I said...
I don't see this as a problem...
But if the woman sees this as a problem, then please advice the man to go back there and ask for a receipt with the woman's name on it, shikinah ...

And since obviously in this case two hadn't become one, anytime the woman does anything with "her money", then let her name be used and vice versa ...

So that we avoid issues of "selflessness" ...

I honestly don't see why this should be an issue if they are legally married ...

Abi is she expecting the man to put her maiden name? Isn't she bearing her husband's name? ...

So what the fuss?! ...

Some women sef...
You're married, yet you're still carrying the stupid ideology of "my money is my money and his money is our money" ...

You're forgetting that two have now become one ...

OP...
Advice the man to ask for another receipt and let the woman's name be written on it, since this is becoming an issue ...

And this one that's she's making a big deal out of this, only God knows how she treats that man at home ...

Cause once the average woman starts doing the heavy lifting at home, she loses every ounce of respect for the man ...

I pray for every hardworking honest man out there, may you never be in a situation where even your own wife go see you finish because of money ....

OP...
When you go to the hospital and the doctor suspects that you have a disease condition, let's say diabetes ...

One of the questions that you'll be asked is, IS THERE ANYONE IN YOUR FAMILY THAT HAS DIABETES? IS THERE A HISTORY OF DIABETES IN YOUR FAMILY? ...

The reason for this because it has been proven by science, psychologist, sociologist etc that WHAT HAPPENS IN THE LIFE OF A PARENT CAN ALSO HAPPEN IN THE LIFE OF THE CHILD - whether or not it is genetically related ...

However...
Just as a person with a predisposition to diabetes can put measures in place to never have diabetes, so can a person that comes from a broken home put things in place to never have a broken home ...

So the question you should ask yourself is this, what measure is my partner putting in place to make sure that history doesn't repeat itself? ...

Because if they're not putting effort, rest assured that she will most definitely act in a way that will cause history to repeat itself...

dominique:
It can never be 0% except the child is not a human being. You people keep churning out lies to discredit women and stupid gullible folks keep gobbling it down. Very pathetic bunch. People that locate the nearest brothel whenever they visit a new city does not have any moral rights to judge anybody. That you get away with promiscuity doesn't make you any better.

@Bolded...
I totally agree with you there, however, let's apply the same logic here...

Don't broke, jobless women judge and discredit average earning men for not being rich?

Don't short women judge and discredit average men for not being tall enough?

Don't fat and obese women judge men for not being physically fit?

Yet I don't see you raising dust on the matter ... I don't see you calling women names on this regard, why's that? ...

You see one thing I've come to realize about women is that they're okay with double standards only AS LONG AS IT FAVOURS THEM ...

But once there's a double standard that puts them in a bad light, they raise dust and start ranting upandan ...

Well I'm not surprised ...
Na wuna way be that ...

Honestly women who think like that are very daft ...

How a man relates with his mum will be a gauge to how he will treat his wife ...

A guy who has no regards for the woman who raised him all these years (especially if she had been good to him), will not have regards for a woman who just came during the finishing stage ...

Same applies to women too ...

If she disregards the first authority over her life (her father), she most definitely will disregard the second (her hubby) ...

Efuaye:
Before Eve was created how was Adam doing?
He was doing just fine until Eve came in!
Sex is not all that a woman should offer her world, if she is intelligent, she remains useful and celebrated!

Adam was doing just fine before Eve ...
Yes he was alone, but he was doing just fine nonetheless ...

And yes you're right, sex is not all that a woman "should" offer, but isn't that ALL that the average woman in the 21st century have to offer? ...

I mean...
Look at modern day relationships ...
What value does the average modern female reciprocate in relationships? ...

((Please note that sleeping with a broke guy or dating a broke guy doesn't classify as "value" ))

@OP...
The fact is, a lot of men wouldn't even pay women any attention if not for se.xual related matters, so if women lost that, they'd be INVISIBLE to most men ...

And until women start showing themselves to be more than just se.xual beings, their use in a man's life will be only just that ...

1Sharon:
How will being on contraceptives ruin her future?

Mumu

Your ignorance is indeed VERY LOUD ...

Go read some books on contraceptives and then maybe we'd have a conversation ...

Until then...
Enjoy the bliss that comes with ignorance ...

Good day!

I have absolutely no issue what people do in the comfort of their homes ...

If a person wants to sleep with an animal or with someone of the same se.x, then that's their business ...

It becomes my business when they try to shove it in my face and force it down my throat ...

Which is exactly what those fellows are trying to do ...

What those LGBT fellows don't understand is that, the world doesn't owe them acceptance or understanding ...

So let them do whatever the hell they want to do, but atleast let us have the privilege of doing that too ...

And just as it is within their rights to do shit, it's also within my rights to not put up with their shit ...

Yes o ...

God will certainly forgive you but if man catch you, you will experience hell fire on earth ...

Spend this much for a hole that has been drilled by several poles? GOD FORBID!!! Tweeeehh!!! ...

A wife and more has done it again ...

As long as the people who were killed are fellow culti.st, then I'm happy ...

These cult guys need to purge themselves out, they've outlived their usefulness in life ...

Imagine joining cult, to what gain sef. Mtttttwwwwwwwww ...

A Presidential candidates daughter is forcefully closing down people's means of livelihood without any repercussion, imagine what a President's daughter will do ...

Make wuna vote wisely o ...

I'm more concerned about the people who are liking his comments ...

Listen to your parents advice and then MAKE YOUR DECISION ...

Because when push comes to shove, the one who suffers from the consequence of that decision will be the one who made the decision and not the one who adviced ...

The Pro's marrying a single.mother are no different from the Pro's of marrying any girl without kids ...

it's just dependent on the personality of the individual, but the cons however, are a different ball game entirely ...

Here's some of them...

You're responsible for a child whom may turn their backs on you and look for his/her father in the near future...

You may not be able to discipline the child as it may be misinterpreted as wickedness...

You would ALWAYS come second in her life in respect to the child...

If the baby daddy is still alive, there's a huge possibility of him getting involved in your affairs via the child...

The same thing that made the baby daddy run away, may very well be a bone in your neck...

There's chances of emotional baggage that hasn't been dealt with...

All the above in addition to the regular female mad.ness is what you'll have to deal with ...

Honestly eh...
There's too many cons to marrying a single mother than a girl without kids...

I'd advice you marry a virgin girl instead ...
Chances of having a successful marriage with a virgin girl is A WHOLE LOT HIGHER than with nonvirgin girls and single mothers ...

And Oga sir...
Please go and pray and fast...
The issue of a life partner is not something anyone should take lightly....

Godspeed my friend...

I can bet that the woman this young man is married to isn't one bit supportive ...

And a proof of that is just right before you ...

Oga is so overwhelmed that he would rather break down in a public mall than go home to his "beloved" wife for comfort or advice ...

This is why I tell men, if you must get married, marry a supportive woman... Someone who will stand by you at all times and help you come out of dark times ...

Either ways Sha...
If he can't afford diapers, I see no reason why he shouldn't consider using napkin ...