₦airaland Forum

Asides from cases of rape and loss of a spouse, divorce etc, every girl who is a single mother is a single mother by CHOICE!!

You choose to sleep with that guy who you prolly knew was irresponsible...

You choose to sleep with a guy without any form of protection...

You choose to keep the baby even after you knew that you were pregnant...

Therefore, your being a single mother is because of YOUR CHOICES!!

And so whether you became a single mother because you were decieved or not is irrelevant ...

It still doesn't change the fact that you're a single mother and lots of men out there will see that as a red flag when choosing a wife ...

My advice for you...
CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!!

And any be very honest about your "status" whenever a man comes around ...

Cause when he finds out, he will prolly leave you with more children, thereby upgrading you from a SM of 1 to a SM of 4 ...

A word is enough for the wise ...

Oga OP is a funny man ...

Ladies listen to me attentively...

That guys are after you to sleep with you doesn't mean you're worth marrying, know this and know peace! ...

Men in general will sleep with ANYTHING in skirt... They'll put up with your silly behaviors just to get in-between your legs... They'll spend hundreds of thousands to sleep with you...

But when it comes to marriage? That's when you'll know that men are a whole lot more meticulous ...

So good enough to sleep with, isn't good enough to wife up... This is how men operate!!

And the fact is that, this will not change anytime soon...

Just as ladies can collect money from different men even when they have ABSOLUTELY NO INTEREST in dating them (and that will not be changing anytime soon, will it? )...

Same thing applies here with men and s.ex ...

My advice to you ladies is simple CLOSE YOUR LEGS!!!!!!!!!

If he loves you like he says he does, tell him to come and marry you first...

But if you keep spreading your legs like rumor, then don't complain when guys refuse to wife you up after taking their share ...

I mean, why buy the cow when the milk is free right? ...

Guy you f up big time ...

But be that as it may, your babe has written you off already ...

She isn't even afraid to post those things on her status knowing fully well that you'll see it and prolly be pissed about it ...

I'll advice you seat her down and talk things with her... Let her tell you exactly what she wants...

If she says she wants the relationship, then tell her that such behavior is UNACCEPTABLE! But if she doesn't want the relationship break up with her instantly ...

I'll leave you with a quote that is popular amongst the ladies (though I'll twerk it a tiny winny little bit for this purpose )....

"Don't allow a girlfriend stop you from finding your wife" ...

Life is too short to put up with such stupid attitude of hers when there's someone seemingly better, just Sha be upfront about it ...

By short, I'm guessing he's referring to shortness pocket wise ba? ...

Because as long as your pocket tall, women no mind your physical stature o ...

With how old I am now and the life expectancy in the 21st century, I can fully assure you OP that I will be dead long before IG becomes a reality, so no cause for alarm my dear OP ...

Before now, I would've joined mouth with some of the people above to say nasty things about the man ...

But knowing how manipulative and deceptive women can be, I would wait for the other side of the story before I say something ...

However, the fact that a court could Grant him bail could be proof of the man's innocence in a way ...

Sanmel:
This happened in a well known family planning facility. We thought the young lady was lying until we asked for her mother's number and put a call through.
According to her, her daughter has a boyfriend and the boyfriend's father will soon celebrate his 70th birthday, she's not going to be there and she doesn't know how far the daughter has gone or will go with the boyfriend. She also said, she had all her children out of wedlock and she doesn't want same for her daughter, so she requested for her daughter to be counseled and a method chosen if necessary.

Just in case you're not aware, the Planned Parenthood Federation of Nigeria (PPFN) has extended it services to both singles and underage so far they're sexually active..

What are your thoughts on this topic?

A woman who had ALL her children out of wedlock CANNOT be a good mother, what exactly will she teach her children? ...

Can she be a good role model to her daughter's - Chasity wise?? ....

Can she boldly tell her kids that they shouldn't engage in premarital se.x? ...

And I wouldn't be surprised if she's a single mother, na their way be that ...

Because they wouldn't be a masculine figure in that girls life and this shit is happening ...

Like a 16year old will look at the masculine figure in her life (father) and say "I want to attend my boyfriend's father's birthday", them no born am well! ...

And the mother is saying she doesn't want the same for her child, if she really mean that, then she ought be have closed her legs and not have ALL her children out of wedlock...

She ought to have shunned her daughter from ANY intimate relationship with ANYONE,but no!!

She's allowing someone who isn't an adult to take decisions that could potentially ruin her future - what a mother! ....

Too much liberalism have brought us to this point...

Someone who don't know what it means to be a wife or mother is potentially busy having se.x upandan ...

Someone who can't even wipe her own as.s properly is allowed to jump from one Pole to the other ...

Someone who can't even take care of herself is given a leeway to start sleeping around ...

And yet the woman is saying "I don't want the same for my daughter", mtttttwwwwwwwww ...

Make she just prepare for history to repeat itself... An overwhelming number of children of single.mothers end up become single mothers themselves - numbers don't lie, make we dey wait ....

Big mistake! ...

It's foolishness to spend on a girl that you're not married to, talk more of investing in her ...

If you love her so much, marry her first then send her to school ...

I know that even that isn't a guarantee, but atleast the headline...

"Woman leaves husband after he sends her to school sounds better than girl dump boy who trained her in school for another man"

If she doesn't agree to this, then let her go! ...

Personally, I can't even imagine dating a broke girl talk more of marrying one ...

The sense of entitlement and "liability-ness" of broke females is triple the average female ...

So no thanks... I'll gladly pass ...

If her father and mother can't train the child they gave birth to, then let her sort herself out ...

I'm not so much of a Samaritan to carry the burden of someone who isn't guaranteed to loyally stay by my side if the tides change ...

Don't mean to be rude, but eh...

Since you have so much knowledge about men, can you kindly explain to us why you don't have a man yet? ...

Prometheus666:
I could say the same to you, but what's the point.

Indeed! ...

There's no point commenting without first understanding, I wish you knew that earlier ...

Prometheus666:
Men are designed heavy lifters. We are warriors, masons and mountain climbers. We are the real structures of the Universe. If a girl's father had failed in roofing their home. He is a man like us, so we should, if we can afford to, not just roof the house, but to build a new one.

I find it offensive that the OP is a man. Are men supposed to be competing with women now?

We are built to alleviate poverty. Women are designed to nourish us sexually and nutritionally. And with women, we procreate.

I will always help the poor.

Please try and read and understand before commenting ...

JOACHINpedro:
See eh, you just weak me with this fact.
And for me being the first is a fact. My ex displayed what I hated about her due to her past relationship. But this my new girl is still new to anything relationship so her red flags weren't spurred from any bad relationship experience.
And pls I never highlighted anything about love, I believe love is not enough in issues like this.
Lastly, I've been in her shoes (temperamental) but in my case I wasn't tamed, I just grew out of it

Nowhere in my earlier write did I challenge this "fact" ... All i said was, if your being her first is the reason why you're considering staying with her despite her temperamental issues, then it's childish in my opinion ...

And you said, you grew out of it, beautiful!!
How are you sure she too will grow out of it? Is there a guarantee that she will? ...

Peradventure she doesn't grow out of it, is she willing to do something about it? Is she willing to work on herself? Abi she's one of this "this is how I am" kinda girl ...

Secondly, if she isn't willing to work on herself, can you put up with her temperamental issues long term and not make a big deal out of it?

OP...
See eh...
I'm not trying to tell you how to live your life, you're an adult and whatever decision you make now eh, I won't be there to partake in the outcome, whether it be good or bad ...

All I'm saying is simple...
CAN YOU DEAL WITH THIS TEMPERAMENTAL ISSUES LONG TERM WITHOUT COMPLAINING?

There's no perfect person anywhere...
People will ALWAYS have a flaw of some kind...

Whilst some maybe willing to do something about it, others aren't...

And so if you're considering getting involved with anybody, you need to ask yourself, can I deal with this person's bul.lshit?

If yes, then you could consider getting involved, but if no, then you best walk away so you don't get hurt in the process and carry the emotional baggage to your next relationship ...

duduade:
Vanity upon vanity

....all is vanity!!

However, wouldn't you love to have that vanity in red? ...

It's funny when I see people defend a potential dangerous trait all because of love ...

OP be saying that someone with anger issues aka "temperamental issues" can't hurt a fly, LMAO ...

Oya let's analyze the issue...

"I just had a lil issue..."

You had a "little" issue and all hell broke loose and you're still considering staying?

"Seriously, this babe tick all boxes any decent guy could wish for but that temperament issue is giving me concern."

If you're concerned about the "temperamental issue", and you know you can't change her, then why are you still with her?

"I don't wanna leave her cus I'm her first guy"

So one of your reason for not wanting to leave her is because you're her first? How childish! ...

"I'm not asking her to change, I don't even want her to change, I just want her to have control over her temperament"

The main issue here is, does she want to change? Because want all you want, if she doesn't want it too and is not willing to put effort into controlling her "temperament", then you're in for a rude shock ....

"She's sweet but when she's offended, she would just want to say it all in an aggressive way (She has never tried to fight me)."

LMAO ..
OP in your mind aggression is only physical or maybe you think that only physical assault can do damage ...

Shey this one na learner ni ...

OP...
Are you aware that someone can make you commit sucide just by saying a few hurtful things to you? Are you also aware that hurtful words can be more destructive than a punch to the face? ...

OP...
No one can decide for you...
But I'll leave you with two things to ponder on...

1. Is this girl doing anything at all to work on herself, even without you pushing her to do so?

Because if you're the one pushing her to change her temperamental ways when she hasn't realized the need to do so on her own, what happens then when you stop pushing? Can you deal with the aftermath? ...

2. If you decide to marry this girl today, can you put up with *10 of her "temperamental issues"?

Marriage doesn't change anyone, rather it makes one more comfortable ... A thief before marriage will be an even bigger thief after marriage...

A cheat before marriage will be an even bigger cheat after marriage...

A girl who can barely control her mouth when she's angry before marriage will likely not be able to do so even after marriage ...

My opinion on the matter is...
Before you make a decision eh...
See some improvements first on this matter before you decide whether or not to stay...

If she's doing something to work on herself and YOURE SEEING THE IMPROVEMENT, then stay, but if not...

Men can't be "public toilets" madam ...

A toilet is a dumping spot and the last time I checked, it was men who dumped their loads in (on) women and not the other way round ...

As for your cheating hubby...
If you can't put up with him, leave him ...
Even in scriptures, infidelity is a valid reason for divorce ...

But if you do decide to stay, then you must be a good and faithful wife irrespective ...

Sweetplum:
You should shut your stinking mouth and body up. Very spoilt brat. Like make I slap you to give you sense!

Hahahahhahah


I expected this actually ...
And sadly, I was not disappointed ...
Tsk tsk tsk ...

With the extent of your hypocrisy, however, it's clear you need the sense far more than I do ...

So feel free to slap yourself ...

Sweetplum:
See as you are comparing females with used cars and your mum and sisters dey among o.
Anyways if a man want a tear rubber woman, he too must be a tear rubber.
Every randy man deserves a woman that has been with different men. 2 divide 4.

Oh please shut up already!! ...
The hypocrisy is super disgusting ...

When it comes to the issue of sexuality, you take the stand of "he must be what he wants", but when it's the issue of finance, you take a different stand ....

Hypocrisy much? ...

Medianna:
That 'i can't spend on a woman that's isn't my wife' is very wrong. Lines of an irresponsible man in the making.
Imagine during courtship you don't take care of her. In marriage it will be worse cuz you've subconsciously condition your mind not to meet her needs deliberately.
Though there is limit for everything.

Lemme get this...
According to you, a man who refuses to spend on a woman that is not his wife is irresponsible? ...

What a load of crap! ...
So because there's a woman in my life, I'll start spending upandan ba? Wehdone o ....

This is a very cheap form of emotional blackmail ...
If thats the case, i would rather be seen as irresponsible by YOUR DEFINITION, than "responsibly" take care of a woman that's not my wife ...


You're of the opinion that if he can't spend on her during courtship, he'll be worse during marriage right?

Lemme borrow your logic for a second ...
If she can't wash his clothes during courtship, she'll be worse during marriage...

If she can't clean the house during courtship, she'll be worse during marriage...

If she can't cook his meals during courtship, then she'll be worse during marriage...

I hope we can agree that this is fair, unless you're one of those hypocrite running around with an entitled mentality ....

@OP...
This matter get as e be o...
But that girl is 100% legit on the wrong ...

First and foremost...
I've always known that the one who invites a person on a date is the one who clears the bills unless agreed otherwise....

The girl invited you, and thus courtesy demands that she pays for it...

Secondly...
A date (especially the first date) is a time where you get to know a person, not a time to showcase your greed...

If she was the one paying for them, then it's alright (it's her cash), but she placing such orders without any consideration of your financial prowess is not only insensitive, but it's disgusting, yikes ....

And what's even more disgusting is that females are coming up here to support such behavior, chei!!! Cheap folks, those lot supporting her are ...

A word of advice to the ladies...
Please before you come on a date EAT WELL!!
Don't come and be acting like a gluttonous orphan who hasn't eaten for 2weeks, it's disgusting!!

You're very right OP ...
I also heard that he was the one who drew the plan for Paris, America and Israel

You've been asked to share a screenshot of those supposed "se.xual harassment", but I doubt you will ...

That's because no one is "harassing" you se.xually...
That means you're opening this thread for some cheap attention/likes or to start a gender war ...

I doubt you even know what the meaning of "se.xual harassment" is sef ....

At best, it's just one or two persistent person's sending you PM's or mails, that's all ...

But either ways...
I dare you to prove me and the entire romanceland wrong, show us a screenshot of those harassing you se.xually and we'll roast them here ...

But if you can't, please refrain from disgracing your lineage by opening silly threads, cause I'm sure your parents taught you better than this ....

Hahahahaha...


She say na "I should come first right?" ...

A girlfriend wants to come first, before a mother, mtttttwwwwwwwww, you must be high on something ...

You can't even come before football and PES5 sef, talk more of coming before his mother, so please rest ...

And speaking of red flags...
You have more red flags than a Chinese parade ...

Omorrr....
It's kinda painful Sha...
When you painstakingly go out of your way to get someone a gift and they sell it or dash it out almost immediately ...

I know we're saying "it's not your business what the person use the gift for" and all, but you'll agree with me that there's a certain feeling you get seeing someone rock the gift you gave him/her ...

Either ways Sha...
Nothing spoil...
Atleast he will remember that the money he used to solve his problem came from the gift she gave him ...

This is a very valid qiestion OP...
But I assure you, majority of the females on nairaland will do one of three things:

1. Ignore this thread altogether
2. Come and cap on the thread
3. Deflect the question, twist it and insult you

Let's watch and see ...

timota:
Use ur brain,he uses charm,in Lagos,some student confessed to me how they will use charm to touch a girl and the girl will sheepishly follow them to the bush for sex,secondly its a farm settlement with no proper doors in their building so he will just sneak into a house where girls are sleeping and he will have sex with the girls in their sleep,don't ask me why those do not wake up before he starts because people that do farm work or offload cement will sleep till u carry them from room to outside,its tiredness.

Please go back and read the post again ...
This time do it s-lo-wl-y ....

This story doesn't add up at allllll....

“In Laosun, I have raped nine girls. Some of them are 19 or 25 years. In the night, I will go into their rooms and start sleeping with them.
I do not use gun or knives to threaten them Sometimes, I will be caught and they will beat me and leave me. I have been arrested before.

How can a 16year old dude without a gun or knife forcefully penetrate a girl of 25? Just like that? Like it's that easy to r.ape girl who doesn't want to be r.aped? ...

Hmmm...
And to think that this happened in a school...
Can't the girls shout?!
Can't they bite him?!
This doesn't add up at all ...

And besides...
Let's not forget that he's a minor ...
So let's blame the adults here ...
How can they have carnal knowledge of a minor? ...
Can't they resist him? ...

Blessedmercy8:
I think a larger share of the blame should go to the parents who keep raising children with chicken brains by not teaching them about self-love and value or showing them love that they now grow up and begin to seek such from men outside and when they don't get it, they resort to taking their lives. So sad.

Parents, teach your children to love themselves and show them love too. So that, no body will deceive or tell them otherwise out there.

Chicken brain.

I understand this point...
But I totally disagree with it ....

We can't keep blaming our parents for every time an adult doesn't turn out well...

For God's sake that girl is an adult and not a baby, if her parents didn't teach her to love and value herself, can't she learn on her own!!!?!

Our parents have tried their best bikonu...
They may not have been perfect but atleast they did the best they could with the knowledge that they had...

Let's stop blaming parents for a grown up mistakes ...

If you feel they didn't do well, then as an adult it is your responsibility to not allow their lapses or shortcomings destroy your life ...

From this story, this one is totally on her ...

No gender has monopoly of madness ...

Ladies who have been cheated on, have almost always never walked away without causing untold damage to the man, so it feels good to see a change once in a while ...

Honestly...
I don't feel sorry for her at allllllllll...
Rather than cheat on a guy, walk away!!

Either ways Sha...
This isn't really a problem...
If the job is really that important to her, she can go back there and get the job back ...

So a grown woman acts like an entitled w.hore and rather than hold her responsible for her choices, you're blaming men? ....

You're part of the problem OP ....

This is just like me saying that "men are doing anything to get money just because women don't want broke men", see how that sounds? ...

I understand that men are the ones incentivising this stupid attitude, however men CANNOT BE HELD TOTALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR IT ...

See eh...
Until we start holding women accountable for their choices, nothing will change...

A woman becomes a single mother - you blame men
A woman is entitled - you blame men
A woman becomes a w.hore - you blame men
A woman is an abusive wife - you still blame men

And yet you expect women to change? LMAO ...