This is the way to go. Congrats Lagos.

No need to go close to God, it all scam!

Abi na, woke generation. Anything spiritual is all a lie?

Now, who is having terrible dreams? Who is having a downturn of finances? Shebi na me?

Someone even offered an advice that you go back to God, you claim the advice isn't what you need?

Don't worry, the lady is still taking it easy with you.

You should be lucky someone is willing take you through your situation.

OK, my advice.

1. Nightmares are fallacies. Could be a movie you watched or perhaps, you don't eat before you sleep.
2. The bad turn of events is just a coincidence. You will pull through.
3. Continue with your escapades with the lady. It's all in the head.
4. If you're bored of her. I think you should just relocate. Whatever hold she has on you, will disappear.

Above is what you want hear. There you have it, after all, we are not family members.

No matter how bad your country is; when the chips are down, your host country will always remind you, you are not one of them.

You can change your passport, but you cannot change your race.

The Hebrew women story was actually based on a LIE.

The king of Egypt said to the Hebrew midwives, whose names were Shiphrah and Puah, “When you are helping the Hebrew women during childbirth on the delivery stool, if you see that the baby is a boy, kill him; but if it is a girl, let her live. ”The midwives, however, feared God and did not do what the king of Egypt had told them to do; they let the boys live.Then the king of Egypt summoned the midwives and asked them, “Why have you done this? Why have you let the boys live?” The midwives answered Pharaoh, “Hebrew women are not like Egyptian women; they are vigorous and give birth before the midwives arrive.” - Exodus 1:15-19.

If you like kill yourself on top Hebrew woman palava, na you sabi. And if you actually want to give birth according to this account, then you must give birth without the presence of a nurse/midwife or a doctor.

What i can deduce so far is that, the going was good (at least to some extent), before the shop and setup came into play. I think your wife feels you are choking her because you set up the business for her. Whatever reason she has for that is irrelevant... that's human being for you.

Now, what you can do, for peace to reign, is to cut her some slack on the business. Suuru la fi n se oko obinrin. Allow her make the mistakes. I know its not easy spending so much, and not seeing some level of appreciation.

Conclusion: Cut her some slack and support her decisions. If she doesn't tell you, ignore. She's your wife and not any random person you helped.

Pls take note, i'm not saying she doesn't have her faults. In fact, its major, but would you prefer this little issue be the reason for your broken marriage?

Another quiet but key reason people birth many children is mere competition. Mama Ejiro has 5 children, I must have more. Its just bragging rights, that even the couples don't talk about.

Even now, couples, if not for restraint, tend to feel pressured when colleagues are having certain number of children.

Strange, but this is reality!

I'd put most of the blame of the lady and her family.

The lady has not shown enough value to you, that's why you keep postponing marriage to her, just because she offends you. Do you think offences will miraculously disappear after marriage, even if you marry an angel?

I can sense that you're everything to her, financially. All that she is today is by your grace. The lady holds nothing of value, except the child you have together. This is the main problem. I feel she doesn't contribute anything substantial to the "family".

I also sense she's from a poor family, who are even happy to have their daughter out of the house. That is, one less mouth to feed.

I'm giving you reasons why your situation is the way it is. It's now your responsibility to conclude.

The person who needs an advice is your partner, not you!

1. Never take the words of a woman serious, especially during an argument.

2. The cause of your disagreement shouldn't have come to be, in the first place.

Take note of this: In marriage, when your spouse keeps repeating something you dislike severally, sometimes, for years, please let it go.

As long as it does no permanent damage, let it go, or find a way to support that issue, and make it mild. I wish you mentioned the issue in particular, so it's easier to tackle. But generally speaking, an habit is hard to leave, especially when it wasn't hidden during courtship. It's not worth you losing your marriage, pls let it go.

Yes, the issue has been settled, but sir, she will repeat that thing you dislike again. Let it go.

Glaciered:
I went to the WU this morning and was told:
the money has been received by the receiver - OP,
that any issue with the money now should be taken up by the bank 'cos
the point of payment is the bank/at the bank in Nigeria.

He called WU's main line in front of me and they also said the same thing:
the money has been received by the receiver, and
any problem should be investigated there where it was received - there.

I'm just perplexed about this whole thing. It's not even the money ('cos I'm a boss babe) but the dishonesty or theft/scam (if the bank staff did indeed steal it). For all I know, OP could be telling story that she didn't receive it and could've gotten it. There's no way for me to ascertain the truth. I know I was feeling generous that night and contemplated sending her $200 but I'm so glad I didn't 'cos if the bank staff is indeed behind the theft, he would've pocketed that much. I've learned my lesson: Nigerians are scammers and thiefs and I won't be helping anyone from Nairaland ever again.

In as much as the help is appreciated, calling Nigerians scammers and thieves is completely out of line. Also, note that, it's your prerogative to stop helping on nairaland, but that will never stop others from helping sincere people in need.

Pele o, bosslady.

Back to topic, this is the easiest case to unravel. Go to the bank, make a scene. The documents used in processing the funds must be provided.

Sometimes, all we need is a 2mins research.

Responsibilities of the Chief of Staff include, but are not limited to:

selecting key presidential staff and supervising them,
structuring the staff system,
controlling the flow of people to Aso Villa,
managing the flow of information,
protecting the interests of the president,
negotiating with the National Assembly and other branches of government to implement the president's agenda;
and advising the president on various issues, including telling the president what they do not want to hear.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YhPI38MJ1tg

Not to burst anyone's bubbles. Attached is a virtual tour of Toronto, ON.

Compare and make your conclusion.

Personally, I saw a couple of places there that looks exactly like Marina, Lagos.
Comparing Bourdillon to slums in some Countries is quite overreaching.

There's YouTube to view these cities virtually, without stepping foot.

Great cities by the way.

liverpudian9:
Obantoko Abeokuta it was 8hrs yesterday

Obantoko is the worst area in Abeokuta as it concerns power. So, 8hrs is huge!!!

Amosun, despite his shortcomings, is still the best governor, Ogun state has ever had.

What I've learnt about those who criticise him, is that, there's always a personal vendetta undertone. For most of us the neutrals, he was great, especially when you know where Ogun State was coming from.

If I were the wife, I would go back inside and forfeit the trip, then address the issue with my husband when he gets back. There was absolutely no point arguing.

A wife's place is beside her husband, not the mother. The man was too indifferent in this instance.

Xynerise, you should never be shocked when an opinion is not accepted by all. Its normal.

I understand your view perfectly, and I agree with it 100%.

I believe there's a reason, there should normally be two different genders in a marriage. Nature has made it so, for a reason.

Now, the reasons pointed out by Xynerise could be the cause of the deficiencies we see in some young men nowadays, especially in marriages.

There's a role a father plays in the life of a child, that he or she can never get from a woman, and vice versa. The genders are supposed to compliment one another.

A father must have times he communicates with his child, beyond payment of school fees and Christmas gifts. A father should connect with a child, in ways, the mother cannot.

Its okay to disagree with contrary opinions, but there's absolutely no point calling each other names, and at no point did the OP suggest his opinion is applicable in ALL families.

You saw a pit with korokoro eye, and fell in it. Even if you leave the entanglement, cos I see no marriage here, the scars will remain forever!!!

I'm sorry i still have to refer to the beginning in my response. Its not really for you, but for those about making the same mistake. Some of us have been there, done that. So, the wokeness flying around don't move some of us.

You got it wrong right from the beginning...
1. You dated someone you were certain you would have problems marrying. Never date anyone you can't marry. Anything can happen with that fling. Some errors could take few mins, hours, days or months to rectify, others, take forever.

2. You impregnated her. Life is about choices. Pregnancy didn't just miraculously happen. You both worked hard at it, and you got it. Refer to advice in (1).

3. When you get married, (contrary to the woke generation), you're not only marrying your spouse, you're marrying the family. Marriage isn't a drive through. It should be a life time contract. Thank goodness for divorce, as it comes to the rescue for mistaken marriages - nevertheless, the scars remain, most times. So, your problem has always been there from the get go, it only became obvious, when you lost your job. Like Acidiosis advised, go back to your family.

4. I repeat, marriage is not a joke. Young folks, sex is not a joke. There are repercussions for your careless actions, and it could be lifetime. Be careful out there!!!

I'm not going to advise you, cos your post suggests you dont need one, but I will tell you "why" your husband behaves the way he does.

Hopefully, from the "whys", you will be able to advise yourself.

1. He has a very big ego, and wants to be the full owner of his house (note, not "our" house). He will control the totality of your existence. God forbid, he dies, you are likely to have issues, especially from troublesome inlaws.

2. Making you spend your money on intangibles is strategic, especially since your name is not on any of the tangibles. No one will believe you bought them anyway, afterall, they're in his house.

3. I'm particularly glad you earn an income. That's an edge. A very good one at that. He would want to leverage on it, and own it like his. No one would believe you contributed to the tangibles. It's your world against his.

4. He didn't just turn out this way, because, in your words, " you thought he would change". You indulged him for too long, so trying or forcing him to change will be rollercoaster ride, as he will refuse, and play the victim at the end.

Absorb the above carefully, and advise yourself.

AFONAMARO:


Plead with her on what exactly?

You must be a comedian

Why not give your own advice, instead of calling people names and rubbishing other opinions?

Don't worry, your mum won't disown you. Infact, you have no problem, but you see your girlfriend, she must get ready for future battle.

What do you take marriage for?
Foundations like this are a recipe for disaster! Shaky starts like is one of the reasons we have so many divorces. Root causes are often overlooked for superficial symptoms.

Having someone else represent your mother, while she's alive, is sending a wrong signal to your in laws, in particular.

Would your father allow the suggestion he's proffering, if he was in your mother's shoes?

Open up to your mother, and plead with her, since the lady is already pregnant.

Just saw LIB after someone suggested where to download it yesterday. I saw KOB few months ago. My conclusion is that I prefer KOB, cos of the story.

It's a story I could relate with easily, and I couldn't believe I could stay that long watching a movie.

LIB has better pictures and was really wowed by the locations and general screen presentation. Nice movie, but would I watch it again? No. Its plain, no real twist.

KOB has it for me.

Was KOB robbed? Depends on who voted. Besides i feel LIB had better exposure.

Lifestyle

The wife did badly, and financial changes must be taken. However, divorce is an overstretch.

Once a child is 2years old, male or female, parents (husband or wife), must refrain from exposing their nudity in front of the kids.

This is really a tough read. What's common is the female being the victim, but this story, amongst other similar stories, have shown men too can be victims.

I know if we ask the woman for her own side of the story, it might struggle to water his story down. This is cos she failed when she was clearly needed the most.

People fail to understand that, in as much as you love the goodies in marriage, you must equally be willing to endure the not so good times. Especially when the spouse is doing his/her best to stay afloat, and not remain stagnant.

May God grant you healing.

It will get worse in marriage. No point trying to panel beat a lost cause.

These are the signs we usually talk about, yet people are moved by superficial things.

She might not be a bad person, but trust me, there's someone out there who loves all the things you detest, and vice versa.

Sometimes, relationships isnt hard. It's just that, most times, people force themselves on people they have no real connection with. Superficial don't last. People hardly change!

Mr Governor, banditry is not your problem. It's high illiteracy levels and poverty.

Lekan239:
uncles from my dad's don't Care I.e even if they are okay themselves. Father's mother is in the village sufferin. The only family who is a little bit okay, promise me and abandoned. My mom's family are always ready to help her out, but she won't ask for help, in fact they don't even know what she passing through

You know I suspected that your mum's family don't know what's going on. As a matter of fact, I wasnt referring to your father's relatives when i asked.

What to do now, pick up your phone, and narrate everything to your mum's family.

My mum almost died of tuberculosis, if not that my maternal grandmother got wind of it on time. No parent will see his/her child wailing and dying and let her be, even if the child is now a grandmother.

This is a very typical story of many Nigerian homes. Later in the man's old age, when children and wife ignore and treat him like trash, one stranger, in the name of a fiance, who has no idea of their history, will become judgmental and share blames.

Another uncle will encourage other women to endure abuse, just because his own mother barely survived a marriage with an egotistical and insensitive man.

How you treat this man later is completely up to you and your siblings, as we all have different tolerance levels, and no one has any right to question your decision. Good or bad. However, I will suggest not to pay evil with evil, as these people have a way of getting hooked in our conscience, especially after they die.

In cases like this, I wonder if women deny their own families, as soon as they get married.

OP, where are your uncles, aunties and grandparents?

You've done well. However, If I were you, I would refrain to comment, cos its glaring there are half truths in the woman's story, just as equally detected by Tonye Barcanista.

In the same vein, in your attempt to guide, you've used tasteless examples to make your case.

All the same, the attempt is a good one.

Jessie21:
it's been 5yrs now

Meaning he dated you as an underage. You see part of the reasons you made poor choices?

Jessie21:
He's twenty-nine I'm twenty-two

Confirms my suspicions. My previous post still stands. You were 18 and he was 25 when you started dating.