₦airaland Forum

fineboynl:
please we do not have light currently. and we are tired of warming soup and stew morning and night. and using Generator for the sole purpose freezing food is not economical as you will be spending much more than the food you are trying to preserve itself.

now I was wondering if there is a special cooler or big flask than can retain the heat in hot food for at least 24 hours to 36 hours without warming it?

thanks.

Why cooking much when you know that the electricity supply in your area is poor

perrydolla:
Am dating a guy who is older than me but I feel he is the best for me now because he gives me attention and cares for me but the has someone whom he has been dating for 5yrs now and I know about it. I feel he has plans on settling down with the lady because his family knows about his relationship with the lady. Pls I need your advice.

My advice is don't give inn all the love you have into this relationship because he already has a lady and the tendency is there that for staying up to 5 yrs it's either a play boy or he doesn't want to settle down

His type may pin you down yet have another relationship with a woman

Be wise use your brain he is already using his own brain

willingheart:
I'm truly in love with this guy. We are happy together, We understand each other perfectly. With him I'm � myself, No pretence. Same with him. He's everything I want in a man, but the problem is that: he doesn't have money. He keeps trying, but things are not working. no job and he's from a family where everyone are on their own facing their challenges, no support.


He's 35yrs this yr and I'm 30 already. He wants to get married, but he can't afford it.

Lately, I buy almost everything for him, to support him.

Age is not on my side, yet the only man I love and that loves me can't afford to marry me. If we're married, it will be easy for me to share everything with him without my family members putting eyes.

My Aunt called me stu.pid that i should accept a financially stable man instead of being with a man who can not afford to take care of me.
I have little money I saved to support my wedding as well, but he have nothing.

Married people in the house please help.
I want to have direction plan for my life coming year.

Marrying the one you love or the one that's financially stable. What's your advice and opinion?

This is very daisy

Marrying a man you love is different from marrying a man that loves you

If you love him and you are a willing but he is not making any income, be ready to carry load, I mean family load and don't complain when it's beyond you

It's not a good advice for you to sponsor your own marriage, what about other financial issues that will come up in the family, who will cater for that ?

A man that loves you but have no good income will take because of love and go extra miles to look for what to do just because he loves you and that single act will trigger you to bring out whatever you have to support his little efforts and that doesn't mean that you will sponsor your marriage

Getting married to a financial stable man can not be compared to the two comparisons I stated above

No body wants to move from poor to poorer

Leave the man to go and struggle he has all the time to do that more than the time you have for yourself

EvilSec:
Anyone has advice on avoiding Burnout? I generally work 11-15 hours a day, then try to spend my limited free time towards Research & Development but since the beginning of the year I have started to Burnout pretty bad. It’s not that I lost my drive, motivation or passion. I just can’t do it. At this point, I burnout daily and I am having a hard time staying constant with studying for certifications or R & D in general. Any advice?

You are the one engaging yourself with all the burnout

Create a break from your schedule and also pay attention to your health

nastyking:
Fashion designing vs hair dressing which is more profitable based on your experience and opinions. Every information and advice are welcomed.

Nigeria is a home with fashion sense and it has come to stay

The major thing here is to go with the fashion trend that is current at any time and it brings in more income

Hair dressing too is relevant in the society but brings in little income because all Dick and Harry knows how to barb

bencarson007:
Too much Wahala.... Make we no dey stress ourselves in the name of tradition

It's necessary where it is obtainable and do able

The Igbos does not play with it

Just the way the Yorubas don't play with some of their traditions

Odun Oshogbo is a tradition that can't be done in a city but in the groove that's how some certain core traditions are

Marvieduke:
The hospital no get shame at all after killing two out of the five babies.

Learn to seive and filter your words before spilling them out,

you must not talk all the time, especially when you know that such words will expose your low level of reasoning

NwaforIgbo:
The bolded was exactly my thought.. I fear she has complex issues

My dear, whatever they are manipulating, trust Umunna, they will be deflated if not now, later

Lifeisgoody:
Ask yourself a question, if its not done in the village, what will happen. You can now decide.
The truth is, I know the Igbos holds the trad marriage in high esteem, especially in the village.
My opinion is, It should be done in the village. Who knows tomorrow?

Exactly, you have said it all, who knows tomorrow

bencarson007:
Let's stop all this bickering... Let them choose a venue and you guys support... Case closed. If she was abroad nko.... Abeg let her have her way joor

Those abroad has a way of doing it

They ask the man's brother at home to represent the man abroad and ask the lady's sister here in Nigeria to represent the sister abroad and it will be done by proxy and those mentioned stands for them

Tradition is traditional, give it to them let peace reign

starbuck:
Why is she the one dictating where the marriage will hold abi una no get ụmụnna and ụmụadas for the village , is like she wants those women to open her case..

Her husband nkọ, what's his opinion abi he is not Igbo

It's obvious the man is not an Igbo man, alright no problem with that

It's likely she is the one asking the man for marriage and you know all the man needs is his presence to be there

Don't be surprise that she may be the one to give the man the bride price to pay, its possible when one is desperate for marriage

Those Igbos you guys are saying that they had their marriage in lagos are either Osu or they are standing alone in their kindred

That same group of people have less tradition and culture to blend with

They are also the same set of people who burries their loved ones in Lagos

But a true Igbo man takes their corpses home for proper traditional burial

When a man wants to marry, you follow the tradition of your wife not your own tradition

I won't be surprise if the man is not from Igbo land for dragging this issue

If money is the problem then let her your mum and you travel home and get it done in a very small gathering

Then you can make the church wedding a carnival in the city

How can a man marries a woman without knowing her village, haba

That man is not even Igbo to start with

That means your family won't even know the man's village

OK, so how will the issue of your kins men going to know her husband families be handled if you don't take the marriage home to them or sponsor them to the city

Anyway I trust the Igbo tradition

He should consult his kins men in this issue, that's if they have a good relationship with them

GboyegaD:
Why are you so bothered about her decision? New wedding, her marriage, and most importantly, her life.

He should be bothered because he is the one to face the kins men

If his parents have ever been entertain in other people's marriage in the village, those other people should also be entertained be his own daughter's marriage too

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

If truly you are an Igbo man, and you know the tradition and customs that will not have an effect on your family including her

Let them know countless times that it has to be done in the village

If they insist on having it in the city then, let her transport the Umunna and umuada, the ones they feel are more important to be present and transport them to lagos, give them accommodation, then prepare food for them to take to the villagers as they go back

In this case, they must have a good reason to convince the kins men that this is the reasons why they want it done in Lagos

To me, the layer in more expensive than they going home and get it done in the village

If you are from Enugu or Anambra, I doubt if you guys will go scort free with your Umunna as the case maybe because, they will hold it against you and use it on you people when the right time comes,

Am very sure you know what I mean by the above last sentence

Your mother should understand all these if your father is not in the picture

Don't let your family make you have issues with your kins men, it's difficult to resolve

But if others have done such and gibe free from the Umunna, then it's your choice

Sebastine1994:
I brought this issue to nairaland to straighten out some things, as the first son of the family, I am under immense pressure to defend the tradition of igbo.

my sister wants her Traditional Wedding to happen in the City, I have never seen a city traditional marriage, it sound abnormal to the ear, it seems I am the only stumbling block to this marriage. white wedding can happen in the city but not traditional abi?

truth is that most of our families reside in the city, they grew up in the city, and the cost of logistics is their excuse. please is it right that I should allow this to happen?

If truly you are an Igbo man, and you know the tradition and customs that will not have an effect on your family including her

Let them know countless times that it has to be done in the village

If they insist on having it in the city then, let her transport the Umunna and umuada, the ones they feel are more important to be present and transport them to lagos, give them accommodation, then prepare food for them to take to the villagers as they go back

stepo707:
My Sister has advised 5k is now too little especially with the current situation, i was wondering, do i do 10k for 5people or just stick with 5k for 10people?

Stick to your 5k but you can increase the number of people rather than increasing the money and limit the number of people

God will provide the funds for you

I just want to believe you are not here with pity stories to scam people

People are wiser now, so play your games well

Blessing1142:
it's a long story I made a mistake my boyfriend ran away and my family denied me

Does it mean that you want to deny yourself too

My dear move on, we all make mistakes in life and we learn from our mistakes

Blessing1142:
Finally the devil got me

Finally everybody neglect me

I am no fine

5 months old now

But am losing my life day by day


Please doctors and nurses in the house I need medical attention

Am left alone will I survive?

Pls open up what is actually wrong with you and what have you been experiencing with your pregnancy

confusedgirl73:
4 months ago, I reconnected with a man I have known for over 4 years. And it has metamorphosed into a full blown affair. There is about 30years difference or more between us.

The problem is he is married and has other women too he is seeing. Everytime we are together, it feels like I have everything I need with me but when he leaves, a strong feeling of emptiness, loss of self, sadness takes over.

I know it is wrong and I shouldn't be here but I love him or so I think. And it is not even about money because I can comfortably do without whatever he gives me as I have a good business I started myself.
This makes it more complicated because there is really no strong reason why I should be seeing him except for how I feel.

The last time we were together, I stumbled on a lot of things that just breaks my heart. I shouldn't be jealous. I shouldn't be mad. I don't have a right to but regardless I am.
He has all these many women. he treats everyone the same. I also think he tells me what I want to hear and has no real feelings for me.

Since we started 4 months ago, I cannot even bring myself to date other available people. It is like it is all about him now. I had a plan for my life and relationships. This just isn't it.
On one hand I am afraid of what would happen if I turn my back on him. the thought of not seeing him again scares me. and on the other hand, I cannot get over all the other women and his marital status. I didn't mean to fall in love with him. I had gotten out of a relationship with my ex boyfriend 2 years ago and had not dated anyone else till now. I wanted my next relationship to be with my husband. Now this happened!

He is a very sweet person when we are together, , offers me a lot of emotional support but I figure he is the same way to all the other women too. So I cannot even hold on to it.

There was a period I didn't speak to him for 3days. I wanted to go. I wanted to end things. Because I was so hurt about him frolicking with so many women. But those three days felt like hell to me. I couldn't do it.
I have tried several times to leave but I just find myself going back to him.




I am in a rut. I know. but I am stuck. don't know how to get out.

This is a simple affair but because you are neck deep, you are finding it difficult to pull out

You don't pull out of a relationship with anger, just pull out in away that you guys can still talk

The man in question, is one of the most romantic man we have and he knows his job on a woman, such men, women flucks around them once they detect to caring and loving attitude in them

Staying with such men keeps worries away from your life, but for how long will that be since he is already married and age wise, it won't help

One of the ways to handle such affairs is have a relaxed mind and start withdrawing from getting all the attention he gives you

Give room for bachelors to come into your life and learn to teach the guy how you think he should live you, it will help you to build a loving relationship

Every woman loves to be around a man that gives her the attention she desires

Those women you think he has is because they are enjoying the same thing you are observing in him

Enjoy it while it last and plan to move on by getting a man you two will end up with marriage

tega2luv:
[b][/b]cutting long stories short,today makes it a week now since I lost my money in my own house, never for once has there been a recorded case of missing money in my house...

It goes like this!!! I live with my junior brother for a long time now and I know him so well just recently my elder brothers daughter came to live with us making us in the house 3, so since she came over she has been the one doing all the house chores..


Since the pandemic I have been saving for this yule tide season with my piggy bank save and just recently I opened it and counted the money in it and realise I have saved 80k this was a month back...


So as I was working the safe to reput it where I hide it my niece saw me with it and she had idea where I kept it, i never suspected her to be a thief so i didnt change the location of the safe, now from that time till a week ago I have also saved another 18k in it...


I happily ordered some stuff online in this jumai black friday deals to pay on delivery only for me to open my safe a day before jumia will bring my stuff I noticed the 80k I saved earlier was missing remaining the recent 18k.


I have turned my hux up and down I cant find the money and nobody including my brother and niece accepting they took it, although it is very bad to suspect someone to be a thief whereas hes not, I have lived with my brother for too long to know what he can do on the other hand i do not know much bout my niece...



Now she has told me shes travelling for the christmas to return after the new year, shes my prime suspect, she knows no one in this phc and has not gone out for once since she came, I said to myself I will check her properly to know what shes leaving my house with from her pants to her comb....


I need advise weda or not to check her properly at the gate before she leaves bcux if I check and found nothing on her, there would be embarrassment and false allegation and false suspicion...



Please my fellow Nlanders how do I search her before she leaves to avoid embarrassment..


Candid advise please

Like you said to avoid embarrassing situations

Let her go and not to come back again

She should be with her parents while seeking for admission

If you accuse her it becomes an issue, if you keep quiet it means you weren't sure if the money was actually kept there

Tell you brother that things are not really ok and you will want her daughter to stay with them

Meanwhile seat your junior brother down and let him know why you are not sending him back yet because you have never recorded any missing money prior to the girls visit and now that she is going, you want to know the theif that is in your house

Dubetex96:
I'm writing this with pains,
I lost my mother 3years ago since then life has become a shadow of itself to me and my younger brother. My mother died when he was in Ss3 and about to go for his one year apostolic work. he later proceeded to do his one year apostolic work as time flies they went for exam for another stage in priesthood and so unfortunate life can be he didn't make it so the priest he was serving during his apostolic work promised him that he will take care of him and he will also sponsor his education to university level so he stayed back owing to the fact that our parents are late. My broda wrote his first & second Jamb but his score is not sufficient enough to fetch him admission so i told him to prepare for next year 2021. But my headache is that he always complain to me that he is no longer comfortable living with the priest though he gave me some reasons that he doesn't have time for his personal life and also to read his books. He had already wanted to come back home but i have always objected due to the fact that here at home is not easy for me not to made mention of him coming back . I just graduated recently and still finding my bearing in life so i have always told him to give me time let me see if i can get job so he can come and stay with me because he's my only brother. As of yesterday night he messaged me on WhatsApp telling me the same thing which really got me thinking and tired.

At this stage, let him come home to you before he looses hope in life living with them

Even if it's ordinary garri share with him

The priest can still help him wherever he may be

You don't loose the only blood related brother that you have for a reason that is not cogent enough

Blessing1142:
I totally messed up by falling in love I was confused by prove you love me I was stuck between choose me or leave me I am still a kid I didn't know much about my actions but now he impregnated me and traveled my family dump me already am left with my life in my own hands fading away am confused now I tried but am getting tired I can't keep up anymore what should I do please advice me.

Where are his families are they aware of your relationship with him

Abortion at five months is risky

IyaTola:
Pay back? what Happened to Forgiveness and the live they once had.

You need to discuss that with her when you guys meet

That's how men keep hurting women believing that they will forgive when they apologize

Divfav:
.... I appreciate ur advice.

You are welcome, don't worry you will be fine with time

IyaTola:
Is it proper for a wife to maltreat the husband in the event that he is no longer working?

A 56 yrs old man, married with 3 kids is currently being maltreated by the wife.

The man was retrenched due to the covid pandemic, he was laid off and paid some money, he use the money to buy a Corolla and started an Uber business with a weekly payment 25k, the wife opened the account and the money goes to the account the wife opened.

A few months ago, he was paid his retirement benefits as at today the money is about 900k and I asked how come, he said," my wife is with his atm card, if I requests for money she usually ask what do I need money for since I am longer working. A weekly stipend of 1k is given to meweekly, in some instances if there is an argument, I don't get the 1k money weekly in addition to no food for the week".

He said," I am living like a prisoner, my calls are being monitored & recoded by wife, my ATM cards are with her, I am at her whimps and caprices. My second daughter is the one that gives me =N=1,500 monthly upon collecting her salary'. Even worsening the situation she has instigated the my first daughter and last born against me.

He further said, " my wife has gone out to the saloon since 10:00am this morning, the time is 6:25pm she is not back.
I married her when she as a full-time house wife, I paid for her to go to teachers college so that she will be able to get a teacher job, to this day, I don't know how much my wife earns but she knows how much I earn, even after that I opened a shop for her, till today how the shop closed down is what I don't know".

What are you thoughts?

There is more to this story, we haven't heard from the wife

But if true he was once loving and caring to his family, taking his responsibilities before his predicaments then the wife is a devils advocate but if the wife is paying him back for the wicked attitudes he gave her while he was in money then it a pay back

Unclesmart12:
I will try to make this as brief as possible
I'm the oldest of 8 children in my family, 5 consecutive boys, two girls and another boy, it still beats my imagination why my parents decided to produce almost a football team regardless of the economic condition of this country.

I'm 28 still struggling and still struggling to finish school, used to do business but it collapsed due to circumstances beyond my control hence my late foray into school, my immediate younger bro is 23 and managing a small business. Now to the main problem, my dad is putting so much pressure on us to make money and help out in the family inspite of little financial investment in our lives, he keeps complaining that the burden is much for him( like say na we hold torch for am while im dey run im parole in the other room) .
On the outside we come off as a middle class family, he drives a mid range SUV and we live in a 3 bedroom flat, mum went into farming this year after many failed businesses, Dad provides just the basics like house rent and feeding plus school fees while the rest falls on her, she always ends up bankrupt because of expenses, we are only happy when she's doing business cos she provides everything without the kids asking.

I'm used to my dad's pressure, in fact we've had so many fall outs because of that, I sponsor myself 80% in school, yet he will always give me examples of other guys schooling and doing Mason work to sponser themselves and get their parents gifts, he quickly forgot how I shouldered most of his bills when I was doing business. Well I've developed a thick skin for his nagging but he has transferred it to my younger ones and anarchy is brewing in the family.

They're still very young to handle the kind of responsibilities he's expecting and its wrecking havoc in our peaceful home. My younger bro gave him #20k to add and pay rent last year and he wasn't impressed citing that the rent is #260k, this is a guy he gave just 30k to start business about a year ago. He doesn't ask him how business is faring what he just wants is bring money bring money.
He sent out our third born 21 as an apprentice to a rich man, it didn't work out because of the guys extravagant spending and he hasn't forgiven him since he came back last year. I managed to convince him to give the boy some money to start up something and he managed to give him 20k, few weeks later covid-19 set in and he lost the capital. He stays at home most times since he no longer has any capital, he was the one that gave the 2nd born about 100k to support his business while he was still in his ogas place( I got to know recently as it was a secret btwn the two).

There's fire in the house and I don't know how to handle it anymore, my mum is trying to douce the tension all to no avail, my dad's nagging is getting much and those boys are beginning to hate him. Despite his shortcomings I still love my dad and very grateful to have him alive cos I know what those that don't have is passing through. I've talked to him to cut us some slack cos with time he will enjoy the fruits of his labour but he keeps comparing us to other guys that he doesn't know how their parents set them up or what they do for a living.

I don't like coming home during break because of this, I've been home since I finished learning a trade during the lockdown but no capital to start and the pressure to do something is so enormous I sometimes wish I'm not born into this family. As the first child I'm supposed to control my siblings but I'm running out of options on how to achieve this, please help me out with advice.
Sorry for the epistle and any errors please, I typed this in a haste.

Don't allow your father to put you into pressure to do what you will regret

His time during his day's are not the same thing with yours

So over look his over bearing attitude and keep thinking of a way forward

As for your junior ones, always remind them to be focused that one day you all will stand well

DonZizzy:
Syinix fans on Nairaland ,Today i want your opinion on this matter .
Between WATER DISPENSER AND REFRIGERATOR
which would you buy IF YOU CAN ONLY PICK ONE?

There is no comparison between water dispenser and refrigerator

They both serve different purposes

Fridge gives you cold water and also preserve your vegetables and soups as the case maybe

Water dispenser gives you only cold water only when there is light

Divfav:
I feel so ashamed to express my predicament here but honestly I'm pushed to the wall. I'm in my late 30's. I was duped in the charcoal business that i ventured into. Ever since then, life has been so hard for me, I must say.
My wife had to run away and abandoned our child of a year old for me since she knew I'm jobless with less hope to survive. I had nobody to help me except God alone. For the past six months I've been taking care of this boy by myself. The boy have to survive so I have to be going to block industry to earn a living for him and myself. I take him to daycare early as 6am.
But currently the price of a bag of cement has suddenly rises to #4,500. For the past two weeks now, no place for me to hustle. Pls dear nairalander and good Samaritan, pls help me, this boy has being crying since morning because of hunger. May Almighty God reward you back abundantly.
Even if it is #500, I will really appreciate. Because what you give may be a drop in the ocean but without it, the ocean is incomplete.
Gtb...0456610823...Ajide omotayo.
Thanks.

Pls take that child to your mum, your sisters or even your wife mum and ask them to look after him while you go and look for what to do

You can't do much having a child of that age with you

By the time they accept that child from you, go and think of where to start

Avoid women as much as you can so that you don't get another one pregnant and come back to square two

But am very sure that if you has married her the proper way, she wouldn't have just ran away because of your zero source of income

Treaster:
Good day NLers.
I'm sorry I had to create a new account for this post.
Kindly overlook my typo errors and please do spare time to read it through as I'll try to elaborate as I possibly can.

I lost my parents in 2016, firstly my mum and then my dad. They we're separated for long before they both passed on that year. I stayed with my dad for most of my childhood and moved in with my mom when I was nineteen.

While I moved over to my mum's she was putting so much effort intobuilding a house. Her intention was for her children to have somewhere to call home, Her original plan was a structure of seven rooms and palours each on a half plot of land.
She completed a room and a palour while the remaining six pairs were at least up to foundation level.
That has being a home to myself and my two brothers.

I started doing business while she was still alive and after she passed away I'm still doing great and I'm grateful to God Almighty.
So I started to make a few bucks and I thought of a long term investment. I then got a land and by the grace of God it's foundation has been completed, also the soak away has been dug.

I felt I should double my hustle so as to increase my stream of income and so I have decided to venture into fish farming. I spoke to my elder brother about using the room and palour at the forefront for the ponds of which he agreed.

Now I've come under fire by particularly my step grand dad(my mum's side) and some other relations. They've accused me of disrespecting my late mum, they've aggressively asked me to continue what my late mum left behind before any other thing.
What's worse was the fact that they said I'm disfiguring the house by turning the forefront into ponds.

So far the ponds are almost complete but I feel bad, I feel disappointed in myself, I feel only if I could be assisted in someway maybe I could make my mum's place my priority, I also fear that if I try to make my mum's place comfortable I might ignore mine and look forward to marriage.

I really got tongue lashed tonight and I'm so down right now, that's what propelled me to open this thread. My question are;
Am I disrespecting my late mum?
Am I disfiguring her house?
Are my priorities in order?
Am I being selfish?
Should I carry on with my place having in mind that if completed and hopefully rented out I can focus on my mum's?

It's just wickedness from the people from your mum's side

If you should complete your mum's building, that is the beginning of another problem because you can't claim ownership of the house or the compound

Face yours and complete it
Take the fish pond else where because you will be frustrated as they have already started giving you attitude towards a mere fish pond that would have generated income to complete the building

Ignore every other thing they will be saying about you until you know where you belong to

As for your senior brother, watch him very well to know if he is for you or he is with them

If you discover that he is with them, be more careful with him because he will be giving them information about anything you discuss with him

If he is for you, which I doubt, follow your heart