₦airaland Forum

Sebastine1994:
i came back from work on Friday to discover that my wife has ran away with our son and some properties in the house, my neighbor said she is a bad woman that I should let her go, they caught her in adultery and she ran away because of shame.

for the first time in my life I discovered that I have not played my role as a husband. I was just focused on bringing back money home for the family and forgot the sexual responsibility, I agree I am at fault too. but if I calculate all the bride price I spent and wedding cost, I feel like going to bring her back. if not for her sake but for the baby, please advice is needed now

she is an igala while I am igbo,

A faithful wife is a faithful wise irrespective of you being their for sex or not

No matter what you spent on her, it can't be recovered,

If you love her and you can cope with her promiscuous life then bring her back

If you can't cope for life let her go from there

It's time we know what we want and what we don't need

Tenshades:
People with low self esteem get angry easily and fast during constructive arguement.

We were having a meaningful conversation till you snapped.

Did that hit you in the nerve?

You ladies have absolutely nothing to offer intellectually during discussions.

Frozen brain.

Thats your own opinion, a man with Tenshades is as good as a nuisance

Tenshades:
I said 'In this case'

Don't take it to the extreme.

The case study is about Adam and Eve only.

My question again; In this case (Adam and Eve), who brought in the problem in the first place?

Why not look for both of them and get your answers from them since you like prolonged topic

prince2pac:
https://punchng.com/panic-as-gunmen-kill-siblings-in-imo/?amp=1&utm_medium=Social&utm_source=Twitter&__twitter_impression=true

What a tragedy

Tenshades:
In this case, who brought in the problem in the first place?

Do we blame God for creating eve to keep Adam company or we should blame Adam for loosing his sense of direction after seeing Eve with all her cleavage

Heartbrokengirl:
I have always hated the idea of dating married people, but here I am...the ex-girlfriend of a married man.

It started sometime during the lockdown, I went somewhere to get groceries and ran into this man. Let’s call him Mr X. His smile and sense of humour was the attraction. He was putting on a nice senator material and when I stood for us to leave, he towered above me. I am a 6ft tall lady and ladies with my height can tell the happiness when you meet a taller man.

We started chatting regularly and we were in a competition to give ourselves treats. On our second date which I initiated, I asked his age and he replied 36, he asked mine and I told him. He expressed his doubts and I showed him my drivers license. Started asking many questions about my background and I answered all of them. I asked about him too, including his marital status.

I had just gotten out of a relationship, his father said he wouldn’t marry outside the Catholic church and he started drifting, I had to let him go. It was tough for me, but after months of keeping to myself, my friend encouraged me to go on dates and give another man a chance. I decided to give Mr X a chance.

It was beautiful. We were in a competition to please ourselves, take ourselves out and we both had a healthy sense of humour...chatting was fun!!! Everywhere we went, people stared. We were all over ourselves even in public and till date I wonder how he pulled that off.

One day his office had a party and he asked if I could come, I said yes. Got there and the guys were looking at me with lust, the ladies were looking at me with pity. He said the ladies were jealous of my looks and some of them have been crushing on him. If you see him and see me, you’ll understand why this explanation made little sense.

After the party that day, it was late to go back to my house and his house was farther, so we decided to book a hotel around. That night was our most intimate night. We kissed, he gave me leg massages, a head and said he is ready when I am ready. I was blown away. Could this be real?

I always noticed he would be lost in thoughts whenever we are together and blame it on work. Other times he will start feeling sick and I would have to close earlier to go give him food and drugs. This became a regular occurence until one day…

He had fallen sick as usual. I made him promise to take pain relievers and we should consider going to the hospital. He didn’t do this and I had to make out time within the week to go check on him. He said it is because he was missing me, how sweet!

He didn’t get better, it was obvious something was bothering him. I decided I will take him for lunch so we can talk about it, but he couldn’t wait. That night he said he has something to tell me, he kept apologizing but still couldn’t say it. He asked if he could send a voice note and I told him to go ahead.

At about 3mins into the voice note, I felt my world crumbling. He told me he was married and has been married for almost 10years with kids. His family was not in the country, that is why I never saw traces of them. He said he had been battling with the guilt and was scared to tell me because some other girl left when she found out and the last was with him for money. He knew I would leave and was scared, his best friend told him to give it time, another told him to ghost me but I have been good to him and his conscience won’t let him. Other friends said he should never mention it to me.


When my friend saw him, she told me he was going to hurt me. I asked her how and she said I was too innocent for him. She didn’t say further not to be termed hater, but since he made me happy again...she wished me well.

I kept replaying the audio while he kept asking me to say something. I wondered if he treated his wife the way he treated me. He was such a gentleman. Held my hands when I had to walk in heels, opened the car door for me, checked on me at work, gave me handmade customized gifts...he made them himself. He said his wife is bad and he wants divorce her, lolz. I told him they all say that. I told him how much he has hurt me, but I forgive him and appreciate him telling me when he did.

It has been almost 3months but the pain lingers. I know I will be fine…

If you can stay with out him then try and pull out, but you will feel it more because you like his swag likewise you he too

You can still go ahead with the relationship but bearing in mind that he is married and most likely not going to marry you

You also never can say how and where he can be of help to you

The issue with such relationship is that he will make you not give your heart to another man

Meaning you may not have a chance to look for another man especially a Batchelor

Tenshades:
Simply because Eve wasn't contented with Adam's companion.

If truly Eve was a best friend to Adam, she wouldn't have listened to the serpent to convince her bestie (Adam)

It still gets to my point that if Adam had self discipline he wouldn't have allowed Eve to decide for him

Tenshades:
Nature didn't make it anything whatever.

Best friend wey make your Eve go betray Adam wey make everything scatter, shey?

Simply because Adams doesn't have a firm grip of himself

odinson1:
You are wrong on so many levels here


The best friend To a man Is most definitely a man!!! Infact,a woman can never truly be your friend (She's just showing the guys fake love and affection for the Little attention, validation, security and Resources she can Extract from her so called male friends)

A woman can never truly love or like a man

Until you meet and had something to do with matured women as a matured man, you won't understand

seanjost:
Is this not true... what exactly do ladies do for each other?

In which ever way we see it

The best friend to a man is a woman and the best friend to a woman is a man

That's how nature made it

Besides if you are a woman and wants to enjoy from another woman through friendship, you just have to respect her, appreciate her and recognise her, anything short of that will not work

The police are killing the youths more than the way sickness would have killed them

BaddieFreak:
Good morning Nairaland.

I know this is not the right place to write this but I tried writing this in the business section but it is not working so I decided to come back here.

We all have plans for 2021 and one of my plans is to have a boutique somewhere around Ikoyi but recently I saw a post on the net of how lucrative massage centers are especially on the island and since then I have been having a second thought. I am now thinking of having a massage centre instead of boutique. Should I continue my dream of having a boutique or I should try having a massage centre.

Does anyone here has an idea on how massage centers run. Pls I need good and urgent advice so that I can make up my mind on time, thank you.

I need urgent advice

Am glad you have a dream of what to go into

Pls go for even if it's one month apprentice on how to go about body massage, it's something you have to learn considering the fact that you will be dealing with well matured people

You can separate a little part of the shop and display your boutique wears at least people that comes for body massage can still go there and feed their eyes and make a choice of theirs

I wish you good luck

Reachable:
I do these often, these days just give it some time after bathing boom the odour starts.

You are likely to outgrow it

Reachable:
Hi all, I noticed I started developing body ordour under armpit in particular.
First time I noticed it was like more than a decade ago, then was in my 20s.
So I started using medicated soaps and deodorants, at first it was a big challenge getting the one that worked for me because once I start sweating I notice that it will overpower most deodorants I used but one worked for me which is (sure for men the long one).
After some years I noticed I always have boils under my armpits as a result of high usage until a nurse adviced to stop using deodorants that it can lead to skin cancer, at first I didn't knew the cause of my constant boils was the deodorant until she told me and I stopped I noticed the boils just died off.
So I started using them again but this time sparingly, until I stopped using them like some years ago.
I was fine especially if I didn't sweat much during the day, the only thing I noticed was that if I don't shave on time I will have armpit odour or after shaving my armpits the odour will come again for some days then stop.
I was managing it like that, but was making sure I bath at least twice a day or as much I can in a day.

Recently, I was more of staying at home these days unless I have job to do outside.
Only for me to start noticing the armpit odour again, shaved and bath as much as I can yet it won't stop.

My armpits always smell like a per boiled onions some moments after bathing, I have been managing it with explorer sometimes it works depending on my activities for the day.
But it's peeling the skin under my armpits and it's hurting besides it give me boils.
Please help, what can I do?

Take your bath as regular as you can and drink lots of water

KingAbdulazeez:
I am a guy In my twenties without a gf but I feel attracted to older women is it good for me?

Those group of women are the ones you want and you have the choice to date older women, because of their age and experience you find them more complacent than your age group

OBAOMO01:
I saw this post on Facebook and I decided to share it here for wider view

AMERICAN VISA LOTTERY HAS RUINED MY FAMILY!
If I had known, I would not have played the American Visa Lottery. The lottery I played has put an indelible scar in my heart, causing me pains daily as I move closer to my grave.
I am now 64 years of age. My undoing was the Visa Lottery I played in 2007. Prior to this time, all was well and going smoothly in our family. I had married my wife in 1985. We were blessed with three boys and a girl.
The girl, Moyosore was our first child. She was born in 1986. The boys came thereafter in 1988, 1990, and 1994.
My wife was a full-time housewife. She had everything at her request. A chauffeur-driven car, two house helps, and other conveniences were at her disposal. I was a trained and accompanished electronic engineer and a senior management staff at the defunct NITEL.
I travelled around the Nigeria. My assignments most times were between the Federal Capital Territory of Abuja and Owerri in Imo State. I however ensured that I was in Lagos at least twice a month to see my family. That was between 1986 and 1997.
I retired in 1999 to start my own private company which continued to triumph to God's glory.
In 2007 I joined several other Nigerians to play the visa lottery of the United States. I was among the few thousands who won. I was happy, not because of myself but because of my two younger children who would have the benefit of automatic citizenship of America.
My older children Moyosore and Aanuoluwapo were already schooling in Canada at the time.
Hmmmmm... One of the major conditions for granting the visa was blood screening, and conduct of DNA for beneficiaries' dependants. I had submitted necessary documents, and made payments for our screening at the popular St. Nicholas Hospital on Lagos Island. We did the tests as recommended. The results were to be sent directly to the embassy.
I got a letter at a later date that I should present my passport and my wife's for visas. On enquiry, they said the kids I presented weren't mine. I almost lost my sanity! My kids weren't mine? "Is that possible?" was my unending song. I found it difficult to comprehend. Because it happened close to my birthday celebration, I invited Moyo and Aanu home - under the pretext that they were coming to celebrate with me - and had their DNA carried out. Alas, only Moyosore was my authentic child!
I became sick, and almost passed on. I was hospitalized for one month. I eventually lost the opportunity to complete the processing of the visas as I was no longer myself. Of what need was the visa without my kids?
When I got over the shock, I confronted my wife. She was mad at me. She called me unprintable names and said I was a failure. I kept my peace and moved on. The following week, I invited her to a friend's party. On our way back I parked the car and pulled out of the road. She asked why, and I told her not to worry. I then raised the matter again. She rained abuses on me, and called me a drunk.
At that point, I pointed a pistol at her side and threatened to kill her and dump her on the abandoned road. I showed her a copy of the DNA I got on Aanu, and the notification I received from American embassy.
At that point my wife became a parrot. She swallowed her pride and confessed. She said Aanu was fathered by David, a friend and colleague of mine who was more of a brother than a friend. We had been friends for almost 30 years.
Tunde and Bidemi were sons of our house help Kingsley. Kingsley was from Benue. He worked with us for almost 15 years. I had noticed my wife's special interest in him but never knew he was sharing her with me.
It has been 10 years after the ugly incident, and revelation. I survived the shock but Adunni never! She died two years after. She didn't wait to tell the kids and sort out the problem and havoc she caused.
Till date the children are unaware of my predicament. They are doing well. The last, Bidemi, now 23, is working in a multinational company. He graduated at 19. His two brothers and sister are also doing great overseas.
Now I am 64. I have written my will again and again. I have deleted the names of the boys from my last will, even though I have not gathered enough courage to inform them that I am not their biological father. I have not told anyone either, and it is killing me day by day.
Should I inform them all, or tell only my only daughter who is my only biological child??
Or I should just die with the secret??
Please the victim needs advice urgently!!!
ADVICE IS NEEDED.

Let it remain a secret for life

Bbliss24:
Good evening guys,
It all started in my University days, I met this guy but I was in a relationship when I met him. I didn't like the guy because of his tribe no offence,I just liked his vibe but we dated.

When I met my current boyfriend I told him that I was in a relationship and that I can't double date he was like no problem but mind you i already found him attractive. To cut the long story short i broke up with the other guy to date him. It was all rosy the first two years he worked his service to ph then because my family lives in ph I was in Enugu then but i went home for break,where we hooked up and most times I had to lie to my parents that I was going for night class just to spend the night at his place mind you he was very smart and sound academically so some of those night he did put me through for my exam.

To cut the whole story short he has changed completely what he use to do before he no longer does it,his excuse is that I made him that way . I stay with him in Enugu but temporary till I get my place during this period he gets angry easily and hits me his excuse is that I am arrogant and I dont respect him.Most times I try to opt out from the relationship he comes up with story of after all I have done for you I gave up my family and my life for you and this is how you want to pay me back ,then he starts rendering causes on me.

The truth is he is a good guy and when I met him he never laid his hands on me until I started staying with him. We have dated for 5years and emotions are mixed I find it hard to leave the relationship....

In as much as you guys loves yourself, give him a break because you are choking him

At times we become an unwanted visitor in some one's life without us knowing about it

Our self respects counts in any relationship we find ourselves in

During the break, you guys will use the opportunity to evaluate yourselves and the relationship if it worths it

You living with him is just for him to be satisfying himself sexual pending when he will butt you out

CousinWife:
Yes, according to the title.

My cousin who i look up to like an Uncle married a year ago to his wife. I must confess I haven’t seen a very curvy ass lady like hers....infact i must say that my cousin did a thorough shopping when searching for wife.


But ever since coronavirus(due to live in same community), she as been coming over to our residence with killer clothes that shows all the big rounded well-shaped ass (few times with my cousin).... I used to take a glance and look off, but with time i came into conclusion that she as been intentionally trying to entice/take advantage of me to notice her..yeah, she’s a devil & Delilah)

Sometimes, she comes around when nobody except Me is at home.
She comes some nights to charge,
Sometimes bcus she complains she can’t sleep alone due to her husband is not always at home. (Travels to S/east for work) We have a nice duplex & 2 extra rooms


Now i felt she must have caught me lusting at her once and not backing down till she perfect her Evil Agenda’s


Please note that, I’ve ladies that come over.....so I would never thought of sleeping with my cousin’s wife...bcus I have my morals intact and also have read all sorts of stories online & nairaland....so I won’t let my dick take me to doomsday!


Please what can I do to rebuke her finally?
My cousin as been very nice to me and he even wants me to always keep an eye on his Wife....

But what can i do? I need serious advice.

I’m 23.
Funny, Calm & business Owner(not jobless).
Handsome introvert.

Pastor Righteousness & RedPillers please give me long lasting solutions...

Start withdrawing from her before she makes you get into a problem that will affect your future

TheZebra:
Hello, good day. Before i go on, let me give a small details about myself. I am a 23yr old graduate who just finished from ABU Zaria last year. I am very good looking, i mean handsome, like very handsome that it has become my trademark everywhere i go. Many people feel i am a bad player cos of how i relate with females, but the truth is i am an introvert, but not shy. I love spending my time alone and enjoying my peace. But when it comes to social activities also, i participate fully cos I'm not shy, just an introvert. My introvert nature makes me see ladies as a waste of time because i enjoy the company of myself. As a result of this, i haven't had any serious relationship with any lady.

Recently, i met a hausa lady in my are where i stay in kaduna, one of the most beautiful and influencial area in Nigeria as it is home to Hundreds of political names in Nigeria, from governors to presidents. I am currently financial stable as i don't depend on anyone.

So about 2months ago, i met this lady, cute Muslim lady, I'm sure she should be around 22-24 cos I'm sure she's older than me. This lady loves me to the core and she doesn't deny me sex. We have it on a steady.

Now, i noticed that i am so getting into her even more than the way she loves me, but i didn't let her know because i am a Red pilled guy. I know how to make a lady submissive to me, besides any lady i meet is ready to submit totally to me because i told you i have a nice look and also good physique. My girlfriend once even told me that she is shocked I'm not cheating on her cos according to her, no lady in this world can resist my seduction.

Maybe she thinks i just wanna play her, but I'm not, I'm ready to love her for real even though we won't get married, and she knows.

Now my main aim of writing this is because i need help on if i should break up with her because i don't want to come out weak showering love on her. I hate being seen as weak.

Note: she doesn't ask me for financial aid, nothing at all... Even if i try recharging her phone, she doesn't accept. You know how hausa girls are.

From your narrative, you are too proud of yourself and your look

Don't get bothered if a lady loves you or not since you know that you already knows how to hook up with them

If they come and go, get another to replace them

When you are ready for relationship with a woman, you will humble yourself

kenwills:
I reported him to my guardian but she never took any action to caution him.

Then it's time you best the hell out of his naughty head

Maobichek:
I will not advice anyone to go into long distance relationship, it hardly work out oh.

Yes it hardly workout especially where it has not been recognized as marriage

21cents:
look at you. I figured you never rebuked the lady in the discussion, instead you're... Kai! I wish we didn't need females for reproduction. women are just too evil minded.

Rebuking her will not be the solution

I already what I feel it should be

Usorohtheman:
I stay in Port Harcourt. I had an issue with a lady in the compound I'm staying. She decided to invite her nephew who is a cultist. And when the guy came, he picked up a fight with me. However, we fought. Now, after the fight, he has gone to call more of his colleagues to come attack me.

I had to leave the area, I went to my friend's place to stay and spend the night there in order to cool off. Today, my dad called and he is telling me not to come back to the house for now. He said that the cultists are looking for me.

So please house, what can I do? I can't run from the house.

Find a way to reconcile with the lady, she is the only one to calm them down

Though you didn't tell us what went wrong between you and the girl

clive2u:
pls everyone i'l need a realistic advice here and from people that have actually been in love......
i love this girl so much i didnt expect it to be this much at first but when i found out she has everything i ever wanted in a girl/lady it got out of hand, now i am always afraid of loosing her and she knws about it. she loves me a lot but when she hangs out with other guys (which am totally cool with) she changes, she starts finding anything i do that use to make her smile annoying. i dnt know how to get angry. so i find myslf apologizing and trying to make peace bt she still gives me the cold shoulder till she has her fill.
i am really confused on what to do and i wish anyone that understands me should help pls. i dont wanna loose her bt i dont wanna loose myslf too but am finding it hard balance both. even one good advice will b appreciated, thank u in advance......
ps: is it right for a girlfriend to ask the boyfriend for space?

At times we may not be able to control some certain things within us

If she has demanded for a space please give her that space

Probably you are choking her or the relationship is choking her

But in all, prepare your mind and give her space and by the time she comes back to fill the space, it's left for you to accept it or tell her too that you too need a breathing space

chubinwa:
Been a very sharp observant, I have come to find out that most women's breast are unequal. one tends to be bigger than the other. I now ask, what could be the cause of this inequality

Nothing is just natural

Men too have such in their scrotum

Even the human leg, one is bigger than the other

ThreadOwner:
Lemme go straight to the point....this morning I created a thread praising Allah for answering my prayers (muslim section), this morning I was happy and filled with joy, unknown to me; my wife had other plans.

She got a contract of 10million to do some decoration in a wedding, she had been praying for this contract for weeks and I have paid Alfas money to pray for her, I did a lot - begged the groom to give my wife this contract and now that she has it (all glory to Allah), she is acting strange, she can't lend me 5k! just 5k o and she is putting T&C before she lends me the money. I left her alone, left home and currently with my best friend.

Some women are ungrateful.

If she has been stingy before now then don't be surprise at her

But if she becomes stingy since she got this contract then give her time to execute it and and see if she will do something in the family

If after everything she doesn't then find a way to sort yourself with her when it comes to financial matters

LucyB24:
I'm a 24 year old lady living and working in Abuja. My job is very time demanding. I'm usually very busy on weekdays, and sometimes on weekends I can get called to work if something important comes up.

There is a guy I've known for months now. We met in Abuja at an event and we've been friends since. He lives in lagos but visits Abuja occasionally. He's also a very busy guy and he hardly has time on his hands. We have spent sometime together talking and getting to know each other but we haven't been on an official date. Most of our interaction has been over phone calls and WhatsApp text messages due to the distance barrier.

I fell in love with him during the course of our friendship. He is everything I want in a man. He's financially stable, very good looking and smart. The few times I've spent talking to him have been a pleasure, both for my eyes and for my mind. I never thought I could ever meet someone who checks all those boxes perfectly.

Men like him usually get a lot of female attention and I've tried to tread carefully. I didnt want him to see me as cheap but I also don't want him to think I am not interested in him. The day he told me he loved me was very memorable for me because I felt the same way. Few days later I told him I loved him too. Due to the distance barrier we could only talk on phone. I'm a very decent lady with good upbringing but because of what I felt for him, I did things I thought I'd never do. One night we had a sex chat that ended in me sending nudes to him. I've never done this before. This made me feel vulnerable and cheap because even though he said he loved me, I never believed him because he didn't really act like someone who was in love with me. He wasn't the type to call everyday and there were periods where he would dissapear for days and ignore my calls and texts and then return like nothing happened.

Last week we planned a special meeting. I was to travel to Lagos to see him at his place on Saturday morning. He had planned to refund me the money I'd use for my airline ticket and even hire a taxi that would bring me straight to his place from the airport. The way he sounded I knew he took it as a big deal. I agreed to come see him in lagos. On Friday morning he called and I assured him I was going to come. He called me again in the afternoon and I assured him I was going to come.

Towards the end of work on Friday my boss informed me that I had to be at work on Saturday to complete a very important project. Immediately I got the information I sent him a text. I was too tired when I left for home and I planned on calling him later that evening. I was so tired that I took a quick nap and woke up to missed calls from him. I called him back and asked if he got my message and he said he didn't. I informed him of the change in plans and he got very furious. He accused me of being indecisive and playing games. He said he had cancelled lots of meetings and spent money preparing for my visit and was disappointed that I didn't take him as seriously as he took me. He ended the call in annoyance and I've not heard from him since. He isn't picking my calls or replying my texts. I've sent him voice messages on WhatsApp apologizing and explaining myself but he hasn't replied..

I really love this guy and I don't want to lose him. He probably thinks I'm lying to him or that I have someone else I'm seeing but that's not the case.

You don't need to stress yourself much about the whole thing

Love grows and it renews itself

You may still go to him and he will have good time with you and either continue the relationship or end it with style

You have explained yourself to him and don't harm yourself trying to prove your innocence

But bear in mind that long distance relationship has its own wahala

GreatDamife:
I rarely masturbate and I hide it from my wife. This morning, she'd gone to get some stuffs and I didn't know when she got back only to be starring at me while wanking at the bathroom. I felt ashamed and disappointed. She didn't utter a word but greatly surprised. I quickly went to her and gave her a tight hug. Told her I wanted her badly but she's on red.. Had no choice than to tell her how it all started..She's quite understanding.. I'm feeling bad deep inside me regardless. Anyone with such experience?

You did well to explain yourself

You can't cheat nature

Don't feel bad about it because it will still happen again and again

Once the urge comes as suddenly as it has been coming, you sort yourself out

Better than those who has raped people

Zzor:
Married women please endeavor to check your husband's phone from time to time, a lot is going on in there. If your man is that type that guard his phone like his life depends on it, just know you are in the dark. I went to my family friend's house for a small birthday party organized for his wife, I forgot my phone at home and needed to do some stuff with it and as I was lamenting, the husband of the house quickly ask me to use his phone to do whatever I wanted to do which was strange to me but had no option, so as I was using his phone, something just whispered to me to check his WhatsApp and what I found out was beyond me, I forwarded everything to my WhatsApp , this man has a family outside, he has two kids from a mistress (a boy and a girl) which he was planning to take them to Dubai by next week to shop, I stylishly engaged the wife in some gossip conversation and found out that she trusts her husband so much she could put herself on lifeline to defend him, I just quietly left the place after the party in a sobber mood. It's been doing me somehow to tell his wife or confronts him but my mom has warned me sternly to mind my business but I don't know how long I will be able to mind my business sha.

Don't be the one to break their marriage

Leave them alone the way they are, one day the Coconut will break and the water inside it will pour out

A man that will cheat, will cheat no matter how you watch him

Let every man respect his marriage

Pinkbeauty5:
Good day all, so I realised or I feel I am a bit harsh with my kids. It's not really easy as they tend to get on my nerves every second.


We are very affectionate with each other though and that is one aspect they love so much.

But I want to do more. Like I want to be the best mum I can be to them. My first son is 9 with just 2 years gaps between him and his 2 siblings.

How can I avoid beating when they go wayyyyy out of the line?

What sort of punishment can one give that doesn't involve flogging that will still touch and reset their brian?

The stress you are passing through is what is making you to look harsh on them

You love them as your children and you have to show it to them

Constantly beating a child will never soften the child but rather hardened the child

Creat time and be with them so that they can understand you and you too can understand them

The more you interact with them the more the synergy you will have with them

Lastly, constant counseling is the way out for children and keep the Cain where their eyes can see it and use it when necessary not all the time pls

no1concept:
Dear Nairalanders,

This post was made by me on behalf of my cousin concerning a current situation he is in and would really love to get the much advice he can about this.

My cousin met this girl 3 years ago when he just finished Youth service and of course, didn't have much financially. He asked her out and the girl readily agreed. Ever since then, it has been a wonderful relationship for the both of them. This girl tolerates my cousin's flaws even when he might be in a bad mood. This girl landed a job before my cousin and through out the 8 months he was jobless, she always stood by him and never cheated once on him. She loves my cousin to the Moon and back.

After my cousin finally landed his first job here in Nigeria, he started applying for jobs in Scotland cos he really had the intention of relocating. He got frustrated after he couldn't land the Scotland jobs after 2 years and gave up. His girl always cheered him up and told him not to give up. She immediately took over the job applications for him which she made every single day from her place of work on her office computer. She, in addition, fasted and prayed for my cousin without his knowledge for him to land his dream job in Scotland.

5 months later, my cousin got an interview and landed the job. He is about relocating.

Now, my cousin is in a dilemma. He has strong intentions about marrying this girl but doesn't know what his moving to the Scotland may result. He can't marry her right now not make arrangements to relocate with her due to the high financial cost. So he intends on leaving first to later come back for her. However, he is absolutely oblivious of what being away from her for too long may cause and would not wish to stay away too long, get entwined with too much work that he forgets about her which will break the girl's heart. Although he and the girl has talked about this, she has said she would wait for him no matter how long it took but has said that the ball is in the court of cousin to decide.

So, my cousin came to me and I have come to you dear Nairalanders.

He is asking if there is a greater advantage in him continuing with the girl all the way from Scotland, defying a long distance relationship or if he should simply end the relationship by the simple reason of not breaking the girl's heart in the long run.

Note: My cousin lives this girl sooo much but wouldn't want to see her get hurt by him.

Yours opinions are very much needed.

Opinions can be given without need for sentimental insults please. Thank you.

This is a very simple case, it's your cousin that is making it complex

They both love them selves, he is relocating and he doesn't know how to handle it

What stops him from going to the girl's family to introduce himself and make his intentions known to her family

That he is relocating doesn't mean he can't come back in six months time or a year time if he wishes

That girl can't wait for him forever, what if he gets there to get hooked to another woman

What you will understand is that whatever you do to people will either hunt your or favour you in life

Pellahblaze:
I had some rough play that leads to pregnancy with my girlfriend but I'm planning on getting married with her though but I think it's too early for me at the age of 22 I have my work which I'm doing but I'm still hustling. Please I need advice on wether it's too early for me to settle down with her. Though we both understand each other and loved each other but I'm just afraid please I need advice and suggestions.��

pregnancy has never been a basis for marriage

Love is the very reason for marriage

Yes you are very young for marriage but if your parents will give you their shoulder to rest or lean on then go ahead

But don't come back to give complains because as far as I understand marriage, you are yet to know the nitty gritty of marriage

Women are more smarter in that game