₦airaland Forum

[quote author=psalmistkakah post=95993744][/quote]You are welcome dear

nathabide:
Thanks for your concern. You have said all the above simply because you don't know me or perhaps you didn't understand what I posted.

Anyway, thanks all the same

Never mind its a passing phase, you will be alright

Reader530:
Good day nairalanders.
I visited my fiancée's family yesterday. I received a warmly welcome....I was offered pounded yam and different soft drinks but I refused to eat....they said it's an old method to reject offer in in-laws house. I managed to eat just 10% of pounded yam....they asked me there is an extra room but I told them I agreed to sleep in a friend's house.... Note: We are from core north....This morning I went back, after the service....I was served rice....I ate almost 90 percent with my fiancee because of hunger....The way I ate, does that portray a sign of disrespect? Thanks in anticipation for your responses.....I am weak

When next you visit them and they offer you food, pls eat the food

If you are asked to sleep pls pass the night there

The closer you are with them the more you all understands yourself

But bear in mind that, you don't have to go there all the time

Whenever you are going there don't go empty hand

Things are expensive and your visit is additional cost

jubrilcastle:
Please can you help with the name of the supplements. Thanks

This is nit the issue of supplements, go and get yourself diagnosed properly

Fabulousa3:
Hi everyone,

Here's my story, I kept putting on weight and getting bloated with frequent pelvic pain. So I went for scan and it turns out that I have multiple fibroids and bulky uterus

I have been to many hospitals within Lekki in Lagos and the price I'm hearing is from N1.5M to 2.8M shocked

Im actually new in Lagos and I dont know where to go. I've heard of open myomectomy, fibroid embolization and radiofrequency ablation

Please I need suggestions on very experienced hospitals and quite affordable place to do mine and have my life back.

Thanks to everyone's input on this

So sorry for this challenge but don't worry you will be fine

You can try General hospital Lagos Island

You can try General hospital Ikeja, now called LASUT and Ayike hospital

Don't give up, go to these two hospitals and see what comes out of the two and make your choice

It's a thing of patience and you will be fine by God grace

Abetterperson:
for some reason am always depressed. granted my childhood was terrible. I grew up in a broken home with my dad not living with us and my mom verbally and physical abusing me..my mom had sex with men while I was still on the bed and sometimes I could hear and see them (she stopped this when I was fourteen)she constantly masturbate in my presence, that still gives me nightmares till now.
my sister was a hot temper monster in my opinion
and my dad was cool but was never really there.

now that am older have tried my best to put that aside and enjoy my life but every time am always depressed and sad
one minute am happy thenthe other I just want to die
as I get older it keeps getting worst and for some reason I tend to over think

can my depression be linked to my childhood

Honestly at this your present age am sure that you are above 20yrs of age

Why are you holding back yourself when you are are supposed to keep moving

Those things you saw your mum doing shouldn't hold you back

Stop remembering them because it's not taking you anywhere, it's now left for you to prepare yourself as a man and workout a way to achieve success

One problem with depression and is, if you welcome depression the depression will bring his entire family to live in your head and start frustrating your life

So don't give them the room

nathabide:
To everyone reading this.

With great respect and honour I salute every married individual and intending couple in this great forum.

Its been said that if your being quiet cannot help, then speak up and get help. I'm a quiet person sort of but at this junction I cant keep quiet no more. I NEED YOUR HELP at least to secure an accommodation for my family with any amount God is laying into your heart.

I am an active member of this forum even though I have to create another account for this purpose for personality sake. I am a young man with a humble beginning. I worked hard by the help of God to be self-sufficient of which I have not been privileged to seek help even though I like to help when opportunity comes and I do it with delight and joy with the consciousness that I'm doing it for God and that I may need help someday, not knowing that it will come sooner than I expected.

I'm married with 2 kids, a boy and a girl (step daughter) so to say because I married my wife as a single mother and I love her for who she is and right now she's (8 month) pregnant with my own second baby which will bring the total number to 3. Presently she's down emotionally because of the situation at hand needing your help.

Since we got married in the year 2015, we have not been staying together. She stays in Lagos with her mother helping her with the kids while she goes to work being a professional teacher. Most of my time I travelled as far as Middle-Belt to North to earn a living, taking care of my family and I can tell categorically that my boy didn't know his dad because of the nature of my hussle. Last year December, my wife decided to resign her job to come and stay with me in Ogun state and to bond with my boy since I have become a daddy only on phone. We changed school for both of them hoping that by the nature of my wife's profession (a teacher) she can get job easily. She tried all through January to get a job but to no avail, February gone and in March pandemic struck. I was to travel by same March but no thanks to Corona virus outbreak.

Now the main point. Our house rent expired September 2020. Since I couldn't travel, there is no way I could raise funds. I explained to the landlord that he should exercise patience with me promising him that I will pay as soon as I start my travelling and he said Ok with assurance. Two weeks ago, the landlord sent me a message that we should pack out and that he wants to make use of his house. I felt bad and dejected having no where to go.

Just January this year, I enrolled my boy and the girl in new school which costs over N120,000, Corona struck in March and have expended almost all I had on feedings and helping those I have capacity to help. Now, we are expecting our baby in a months time, landlord said we should pack out, we have no where to pack to and I can't tell my wife to go back to her mother's house because of the children school. I have gone around to look for a cheaper house and the prices I'm getting is beyond my power as I speak (N200,000) without agent fee. I have looked here and there both in bank and elsewhere and I was able to raise N60,000 which is nothing compared to what is required. I am yet to buy baby things which the hospital is now requesting for, the hospital bills after delivery is no where in sight and I cant leave her in this condition to travel and hussle at this point. Also, the education of the two innocent kids and a load lots of things which I just have to cut short.

Based on the above, I am passionately soliciting for your help no matter how small. Any amount God is laying into your heart help me with to get my family at least a roof under our head and where my wife can enter as soon as she give birth next month before I start mu hussle back

Please HELP!

2130491567 (UBA)
Abidemi is my name.

No amount is too small.

God bless you all

First of all, get a two room in a face me apartment

Change your children school to a nearby private school that pays lesser

Let your wife register in a government hospital they are still functioning no matter how they look

I need not tell you to stop procreation it's your choice to continue or not

Just live within your means

psalmistkakah:
Fellow nairalanders, Since I witness my wife giving birth in labour room, my body no longer remain the same again. No arousal, I see women non attractive again.. have been trying to see if I can go to my normal self.. I hadly feel sexual huge again .. I was there other woman was screaming to an extent I felt for her. I said to myself this woman will never have sex again. I relate to my wife, she said is labour pain that cause it.. my concern is that my body does not respond again to women good figure.. which way forward..

This your experience will make you appreciate women more for what they go through during child labour and delivery

It's a journey of 50/50

As it is now, create love for your wife the more

Appreciate her and love your family as if it's the only valuable thing you have on earth

Keep them warmer and happier

Make sure your wife doesn't feel hurt from you because it will remind you the pains she went through and the next one she will go again when next she is pregnant

The moment you create love in your heart you will be happier and that love will trigger sex urge

If you say you no longer feel sexual urge again then you will be hurting yourself and that means those things that you are supposed to release from you to a woman will remain there and become toxic to your overall health

Kolenda:
Don't get me wrong, I am not lazy. Right from my junior secondary school days, I have been doing some menial works to support myself. Including my two elder brothers. We all want to support the family. We all want to make it in life. We all want to succed.

Like I stated earlier, I am not lazy. I am intelligent, I am smart(the best student in my department with a CGPA of 4.27). I could be anything I want if I have the platform. Maybe because of lack of opportunities, I might not have been exposed to certain things or way of surviving in this country.

This lockdown and subsequent strike have opened my eyes to the reality in life. I feel like I am stagnant. I am not making any move forward. I feel I could be more.
At 25, I borrow phone my my little sister just to check nairaland. Things just feel like they're working against me. I could have at least tried learning a digital skill online. But I don't even have a smart phone.

Well I am hopeful the latter days shall be greater then the former. My poor widowed mom has a graduate(if not because of the current situation in the country, he would've been doing something commensurate with his degree. He's being under employed), a soon to be medical doctor, a final year student(my humble self) and my little sister who just gained admission.
Our lives here revolves around the educational sector. But we all feel stagnant.
Thank you all for reading. I just want to pour out my mind. Maybe when I beg my little sister for phone, I would see your comments.

Ooh dear, you and your siblings are one of the most luckiest people without a father figure but with a mom that stood her ground to make sure that education will be her children priority

What you call stagnant wasnts stagnant after reading your post, you guys are still at the middle of progress and your guys progress report so far is excellent

Just be happy that soon you all will be out if school and get something doing

I am most grateful to your mother who denied herself all the good lives she needs to make sure nin of you dropped out from school, she is your main MVP so keep riding you will soon get to the finish line to cut the ribbon

Be grateful to God at this stage and start looking forward to greater things

They are all amazing, you have to lift your spirit up so that you don't weigh others down

BLUELemon:
From time to time you hear men talking about weight loss. You hear them talking about their female friends having gym time. Some go to the deliberate extent of playing you videos of women in the the gym.

If you are observant enough, those people shown in the gym are actors and actresses acting out a script. In fact, to top it all off, they use male fitness trainers to dress and act like female and you the unsuspecting audience get to marvel at the flatness of their tummy.

Don't fall for it, even the women amongst them are not yet mothers hence the near perfect tummy you see on tv.

It's absolutely natural to put on weight once you are into motherhood. Motherhood coupled with being a career woman gives less space for gym time.

I am not saying you cannot excercise. Excercise is very good for the heart. You look beautiful enough with your weight and if you want to excercise, do it sole to impress yourself. Know your limits and mind your heart beat.

The men that emphasis weight loss don't even have any gym they go to. Don't let people body shame you. Weight is Nature
Weight is natural.

You made so much sense with this write up

That's a good message

gentlesil:
My brother's wife is troublesome. My brother is a quiet type. When I was staying with them it's always one trouble or the other. I was thinking that it was because of me that is making her to be that aggressive on him so I relocated to my uncle's house.
The bone of contention is always
1.You don't buy clothes for me
2.You don't buy my body cream
3.You don't care if I make my hair or not etc
My brother is just an average income earner that stays in a rented apartment that he pays 170.000 per year. With 3 kids. He doesn't have a car
For me, I think he's trying his best to make his wife understand that this is not time to spend money anyhow because of the economy, to no avail
Last week I visited them and met my brother when he was asking an elderly man in the neigbourhood of the best way to formally lay complain to her family . Because according to him she is now acting more provocative that may lead to a fight. And he does not want to lay his hand on her so that she will not turn the narrative that is because he beats her that is why she was doing what she was doing to him.

I just wish I can advise him but I'm not capable, that is why I said I should seek mature opinion here on what you think he should do

Though my brother said that her brother are not supporting her, her mother seems to be silent when she heard about it sometime ago. That may be because she is too old to even think of cautioning her daughter who she is depending on.


My brother said is time to do something before she lead him to destruction. pls let's advise him.


Updated
Things like to wash bathroom, bath the children, and general house work, according to the wife is no longer her responsibility again. She wants my brother to get a house help that will do those things. Even though she does not work. Since her business went under do to her lack of saving mentallity, and starting another one for her according to my brother is a waste of money.

Women can bring out the worst in them when the needful are not being done

Let your brother take it easy and calmly with her as she needs his attention and care no matter how little

ZhiosonWind:
extend my greetings to her
I will be coming too

Lol

ZhiosonWind:
You are welcome. Hope it ain't too stressful and if it is I hope it will yield a positive fruit.
November is almost over

I know you don't remember me. I am the second person that mentioned you about teeth extraction last month.

Ohh that's true
It's not stressful much, is my little sister marriage preparation for two Saturdays in November

ZhiosonWind:
Hi good evening. No I am not..
I noticed I haven't seen your comment in a while so I looked up your profile... Nice to see u r back

Thanks dear for checking on me
Good evening

I have been engaged with some activities and I only have time for online by night

Though its just for this month of November

ZhiosonWind:
Be happy. Keep smiling

Funny you, you are too smart for yourself

sigiyaya:
Between Nigerian politicians, Pastors and celebrities i dont know who lie pass

The truth is they usually buy those things themselves and they will say given to them by fans, just to make it look interesting

SatisfyOG:
This is becoming irritating, for crying out loud.

When I go visiting a family or old neighbours. They'll be asking questions like:

Why are you not married yet?

You are getting old oo!

Time is going, do fast!

And many other words like these...

I mean, will they be there to feed my family when I'm into the marriage? I don't know why Africa is so obsessed with marriage of a thing.

For crying out loud, I'll be just 29.

The numbers of married men disturbing me for financial assistance daily ehn. That's a turn off to get married soon.

Your opinion please.

I will consider that age a young age to get married unless you are from a rich home

Never the less, start working towards it and don't let any one push you there

But at the same time, you can never have the time to come to your hands to do that, you can only plan towards that

Em222:
I am a graduate but lost my job so am struggling to come back to my real self so I need a working class or real time bussiness woman who will help me to come back let's build a home together I am a litle bit fair tall handsome youngman in my early 30s so am looking for a serious woman within the age range of 27 to 42 to marry lets start making kids no much time so if u r interested u can call me or chat me let's discuss I am serious about this 08164084891

Is not as if you don't have a girl friend presently but now you need someone that is working especially now that you are down

I will advise you get down and think of what to do then find a way out to you do it

Even if you find a woman now, you can't be jobless and start having children

You will be in a more difficult situation and regrets

Jerkbaba:
See this fool. You don't have money but you wanna date. You're a big idiot. If you like don't focus on your career and make money. You're here talking about woman.

You don't need to be insultive

Learn to be courteous and talk like a gentleman

Axel1:
Good evening Nairalanders, I'm having a very serious problem and it's about my penis.
It is very strong like a stick when erect and it's really affecting me so very negatively, when erect I feel some slight pains, just little pains. I'm not really bothered about that because I'm used to it already most expecially but my main problem right now is when I'm fully erect my penis is very strong like a stick and it's giving me injuries when penetrating.
I have only had 4 girlfriends all my life the first asked me "why is your penis strong like a stick" that's where I got my phrase from, by explaining its strong like a stick
My second girlfriend normally calls me "strong prick"

The last girlfriend I had whenever I'm having sex with her I feel sore all over my penis "fresh open sores" sometimes I bear the pains and continue having sex with her but after ejaculating I feels pains all over my penis, serious pains. And it would take weeks before the sore would eventually heal, i don't have herpes or any other sexually transmitted disease and infection.
My penis is very thin and I don't feel much friction when having sex, so I'm confused why I get injury on both corner of my dick while having sex, it's really frustrating. It's really so frustrating.

If anyone has any advise or solution, please let me know and I would follow up with the advise.

Go the hospital and explain all these to a doctor

You can't be too sure that you don't have any infection

raphretle:
We had some technical faults which affected the flow of water to the second floor of the house we live in.. One has to go down to get water to use... So my neighbour told me his girlfriend Used the toilet but refused to flush it,claiming she can't subject herself to that kinda stress to get water.. This guy only comes to my room to complain but he can't tell it to her face...
For three days now, she does the shitting while he does the flushing...

Let him carry his cross if he can't correct her by telling her to her face, then let him deal with it that's how he will be too weak to handle his affairs with her

Their business

Do lots of exercise

Read more about anxiety management
Read more about men's health

Learn to take things calmly so far threat to life is not involve

Learn to take charge of your happiness

Avoid people who triggers you

Learn to avoid engaging yourself into arguments

Leant to give yourself peace of mind

You are responsible for all that I have mentioned

Mummiesgirls4:
Am a moda of 4 girls by 2 different men , 2 lives with deir fada one with my parents and i onli stay with my last baby 1 years and 5 months . I I relocated to asaba to start afresh and i met my new guy in june , he loves me so much and has accepted my baby like his own , we are staying together but i i haven't told him abt my 3 other children , i lied to him that i only have 1 child i I didn't tell him about them because they don't live with me and its not necessary to mention them now . I love him so much and i don't want to loose him because he is my everything on earth. Did i do the right thing please advice me.

You guys are just starting you have to seat him down and tell him what you want him to know about you

Having four children out of wedlock with two different men, speaks volume as if you can't really settle down

Marriage is not for everyone

No matter how you keep those kids away from him, they will surely surface and by then he may reject them and that will cause a bigger problem which may lead to another third man separation

Help yourself

urchcoded:
Oh waec. The body that governs that exam that about 85% of schools write the answers for their students, these students enter the University sort their way through, sleep with lecturers, graduate and enter different spheres of the society and some into politics, then we remember that they are corrupt, as if their corruption started when they entered politics. Nigeria is a shithole country where almost all the citizens want to cut corners in virtually everything.

Just read what you posted you are more matured than this

Does it mean every one got admitted and pass through school this way

Alway seive your words pls

Anyiiii:
We are in the month of November. I'm still not married. A close female friend of mine will be getting married in December. Two of my close friends got married this year too. I'm feeling depressed right now. Nothing interests me. My decoder is subscribed and I can't watch TV. I have food but I'm not hungry. I have money but I'm not happy. Who says money is happiness? Some men are coming my way but they are not my spec. I'm very beautiful and look so younger than my age. So stop imagining the looks of an old Lady. Why can't I find the man of my dreams? Please you people should pray for me. Is there any good luck herb that you can recommend for me to get my husband? Thanks

I don't think anything strange is wrong with you

You said men are coming but not your spec, what else do you think can be done?

You have to reduce your choice and be ready to accept the ones coming around now before it will get to a stage where you have little or no option

We women ha e our own kind and choice of man but when you try to get them, they are already engaged or have someone else whom they have given their hearts to

The best option for now is to look for a Batchelor who is willing to settle down and if you are richer than him then both of you can plan together toward a successful marriage

Don't look for a rich man as you can start from somewhere and get to a richer level

The choice is yours as I can see you are the one delaying yourself

gare2510:
Must one have a joint account with spouse; is it a proof of trust in marriage?

Is trust automatic or is it built with time?

I don't normally support a joint account because of individuals interest with money and how it's being handled

But if you have children, open a joint account on one of them and on behalf of them then you can be contributing as parents to the account base on your financial strength

Only couples who have true love and transparency for themselves can enjoy having joint accounts

Entrepreneurrr:
Good evening.
Depression is taking over me, as am having disturbances from every angle from family and friends.

I finish HND and i am kinda jobless, but i have a business that i am running and I can say I am okay with the small money i am making because I don’t depend on anyone.

I came with a decision to further my study on scholarship and met my guardians with it, but they didn’t show any support of it, rather they told me to get employment.

I did my things now in secret, and i am making progressive effort.

I took that decision because time is going and its not by my side.

Please how should i convince them when i got the admission finally?

Thanks in advance

They ask you to get employed because of the cost of sponsorship and they want you to work and train yourself

It seems they are having their own family financial difficulties and needs to face others too

If you can save pls save and train or sponsor yourself and they will add the little support they have for you

Casemiro:
apart from the pain while plaiting, I heard it would be a kind of distraction for them

There is nothing wrong in plaiting there hair, it brings out their natural beauty with out make up


But once she enters secondary school pls barb the hair so that she will not be carried away and concentrate in her academic

That's why some boarding schools don't accept plaiting of hair

Sheezybobby:
Hello Palz,
A.M, Am a little bit confused, i graduated at a tender age of 19 years, Currently Serving at 20years of age. But My wish all this while is to travel to Abroad to Further/Relocate, but my parents want me to take a Nigeria Immigration Job, But am a Confused,

I want you to advise me friends, Cause am so confused, Also what is the Salary scale. (Immigration) for a B.sc graduate,
I will appreciate your opinion, Palz

I will advise you with the following points

Take the immigration job because of job security

Forget about the entry point pay slip that's not the reason for getting a job but you create the passion and the pay will worth the job

As you gain a federal employment, you are entitled to leave, take the leave pass and go abroad and see what life is all about there, it will give you the first hand opportunity to see, experience and understand if the job there is better than the job at hand

It's a federal job and you are expected to work any where through out the federation

If you miss this job because you don't know the value, when you realise that you now want it, you may not get it again, such is enough to distabilze a man in future