₦airaland Forum

Lexicon123:
I found this both annoying and amusing, and thought to read other people’s experiences and how they deal with this situation - a partner sulking unexplainably.

I woke up to one of my wife’s sulky moments. We went to bed late and very excited (you know what’s up), only to wake up to my wife completely refusing to even answer my greetings. I spent some good minutes before leaving work begging to know why she’s angry at me, all to no avail. It’s evening yet I have no clue what’s up, nor is there a change in attitude.

Meanwhile, she continues to carry on her chores like nothing is happening. The amusing part are the series of WhatsApp posts and pictures, feeling herself as wifey, yet not explaining what’s wrong.

So guys, share your experiences on dealing with a partner’s sulky mood, especially when you’re almost 100% convinced you’ve done nothing wrong.

Women are drama queens

So expect any kind of drama from them

Watcharena:
Please I need advice from parents on this issue .



So, I came back late from work today I noticed that my child was lightly injured very close to his right eye, when I asked him what happened he told me one of his nursery school teacher beat him. I immediately called the head teacher to inform him about the incidence and that was coming to the school on monday.

So parents if you have been in such situation how did you handle it or what is the best approach to handle this .


Note that I don't beat the boy at home , it is a private school in lagos

If you want to spoil business for the school, start madness from the gate and the whole neighborhood will know that they treat children with hatred and abuse

If you want to give them last warning, go strait to the head of the school office and demand to see the so called teacher and pour your madness on the teacher for inflicting such on your son and after that you can leave without even listening to their apology

They will follow you home to apologize

Naofumi:
My uncle is 35 year old but getting married this year, he already took care of introduction and engagement.
He was dating 2 or probably more girls. But I only know of 2 and am sure he's getting married to one of them.
Now yesterday I visited him, and he said I should pray for him cause the other girl (not the one he's going to marry) keep cursing him, saying Alot of negative things about him and so on.
He said he knows she'll calm down and withdraw all what she said but I don't think that's Ok.
I didn't know what to tell him apart from saying I'll put him and her in prayers.

Please have anyone here experience such? How did you solve the problem?

Who knows what both of them already agreed on before it didn't work out

Oboh662:
My wife lost her immeiate elder sister , she left behind 6 children including twins who are 3 months old and a husband , the man is nothing to write home about he had abandoned all 6 children with my inlaws , he doesn't call nor send them money for their upkeep.
My wife is a nursing mother our baby is 5 months her family want us to take over the twins so my wife can nurse them but I refused because I am managing myself to provide for my wife and baby I can't afford to provide for 2 extra babies and my inlaws are not financial buoyant all the responsibility will be on me ,buying pampers and baby formula every week.
My wife is angry and she said I am heartless for refusing to accomodate these orphans.I told my inlaws to report there father to welfare so he can provide for his 6 children they don't want to report him, they said they reported him to God and they are forcing me to take his responsibility when he is alive this is something I can never do.
I don't know what part of I can't afford 3 babies they don't understand , at the moment we haven't renew our rent and I am working hard to get the money to pay the rent and she is giving me attitudes. Do I have a point or I am a bad person for not accepting them?

Edit : admin do not push this to the front page

You stand is as a result of the bad economy and not that you don't want to help

I think you can extend your financial support to your in-laws over those children

That should be reasonable enough

Melagros:
After a long-job-search, August last year I got a job in a farm as a manager through an agency and the salary is 50k, meanwhile, before that, I'd registered with some couple of agencies, also, personally, I'd submitted my CV in some organisations

To be brief! When I'd already started working, a hotel that offered me an employment as a general supervisor/assistant manager before they asked me to stop after working for two days recontacted me, I snubbed them and the salary was 60,000

Precisely, in December last year, another agency reached out to me for an interview but, I told them that I was not in town and they told me to let them know whenever I'm in town. Yesterday, another agency too invited me for an interview I replied them that I haven't returned from Christmas break

Why I glued to my current job is that, though, my 'meagre' salary is 50,000 Naira but, there are other side businesses I do that I make extra money because, within the first three months of my employment, I was able to rent my apartment, a self-contain, furnished it, I'm looking up to a bedroom flat before the expiration of my rent. I was owing my Alma Mater 100,000, for clearance, as I'm posting this thread the money is in my account, I'm just waiting for school to resume so I can go and pay the money. Also, I'm budgeting between 80-100k, for a phone by the end of this month

I have a good CV, I'm a hard worker, a good administrator, also, I'm multi-tasking. In these five months that I have been with this organisation, because of my performance, my boss made huge profit beyond his projection to the extent that he added a bus to the fleet of buses we have, he testified that, ever since he opened this business he has never seen a good manager like me and he's ready to do anything to keep in the company

Please, if I'm called for an interview again, should I honour the invitation or I should continue here? Honestly, I'm confused!
Thanks

I think you should stay where you are because your Impact is being felt and you are growing in knowledge

As time goes you will decide on what next

segtech68:
I'm in a very serious relationship which will likely lead to marriage before the middle of this year. she's a good lady, very decent, God fearing and has a good Job. We both love each other so there's no point waiting than to marry her. We've talked about it and she loves the idea. Also , i've met her family and her parent treated me kindly.

The issue is, we are both planning to relocate after marriage to any of the western countries, we are both credible financially and i'm very sure we won't get denied but the stories i've heard about women changing after getting abroad makes me want to think twice about the court marriage. I would love to do every other marital right except court marriage.

How do i tell her politely without losing her? please i'll appreciate your advise.

Thank you.

Incase you are not aware, you need the marriage registry certificate to apply at the embassy as a prove that you are married officially

breakthrough22:
Good evenning ,

I came back home from work this night to find out my wife and my son have packed and abandoned me .

My son is 4 years old and I really don't mean to hurt my wife .

She travelled on the 26th of December to her dad house here in Lagos .I missed her so much and I sent her money to come back last Saturday though she said she will be coming on Sunday only for me to call her between 2pm and 8pm without her picking the call .

The phone rang times without number .I later gave the last try and the no was busy answering other call .She later picked and said there was no light .So,she couldn't charge. I was mad because the excuse was too flimsy .I challenged her to tell her but your phone rang .I was mad and I lost trust in her that moment and flashed back to the excuse that she will not come on Saturday.

Seriously ,I was angry and different thoughts came to my mind like May be she went to see another man .

That hour ,I told her I don't want to see her again .I was angry though .She didn't come on Sunday. She came back very early yesterday which was Monday.

I will not lie ,I have been so angry ,ranting and telling her to go back to her parent house that I don't trust her again.

To my surprise ,I came back tonight and she already packed all her loads ,packed my son things without leaving any thing .Her wardrobe and my son wardrobe have been empty as I am typing .She packed everything .

Seriously ,I am depressed cos I love her .I love my son .I can't even allow him to stay over there to start schooling. Me and my wife have been together since 2013 .We have gone through a lot of difficulties together and now ,things are beginning to look good for us .I am so down right now .I called he dad and her brother .It is like they took that decision together .

I have never beaten her before but I do nag especially when bills are weighing me down .His dad and his brother was just shouting at me .Fear of been a single dad or living alone at this stage of my life will make me a walking ghost and the fact that ,I really love my son too and also my wife too will one day kill me .

Imagine ,that Saturday she changed what she saved my no with and saved with my son name.I attached my call history .Check the image of the missed calls.

Please what do I do?I am devastated .


Some of her chats this night ..

[1/10, 9:35 PM] SWEETHEART: Hv always endure with u even though u did not hv money,but u always rain insult on me everyday .am not coming back I want to work and make my own money,u said u hv never achieved anything good bcoz of me!u said I am your biggest mistake in life and now hv made up my mind with you.you pushed me to the wall!u make me carry luggage in the hot sun and cry ,am tired,I cried and cried and endure all bcoz of love so nao am ready to work and earn good for myself and my son.
[1/10, 9:40 PM] SWEETHEART: U can change ur key am not coming again
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: Am not ,u know is too late for me to come back to .... and u urself know is my biggest fear bcoz I don't like coming here but u make me come back,is too late. Even wen u always tell me to go,I will still wait but u make me come back to my fear It is too late.
[1/10, 9:46 PM] SWEETHEART: ...will start school on Monday here and just take responsibility of it, if u don't want to loose ur son too.

What I can say is that you have anger management issues

A journey of a life time, you are already frustrating the journey

The most precious thing or people you have on earth, you are frustrating them with emotional abuse, yet you want to keep them as family

You need a marriage counselor, all she need is to accompany you so that she will witness the counseling that will be given to you

By the time you get another woman that is just as your behavior, you will run down to your wife and pack her things back

Whats wrong with you, that you are making her shuttling your home and her father's home

If she continues this way, she may end up with another man who will give her peace and if that happens,

Blame yourself

DaBogu:
Man tells woman he doesn't want the pregnancy early enough.
Woman still decides to keep it anyway thinking that he will change his mind. Man doesn't acknowledge the existence of the child.
Woman causes a public scene and drags man's relatives into the matter

We keep forgetting that Nigeria is not known to have a strong child support policy for single mothers. I've never heard of a single case. If there was, we can easily enforce compliance on the side of the man , whether he wants the child or not.

Knowing that the policy is unlikely to be enforced anytime soon, many women will always be at the receiving end of negligent baby daddies. History has proven this.

Any woman that decideds to keep her pregnancy against the man's wish, have already done all she needs to calculate before taking that decision

Dont pity her
She already knows what she is doing

So it's either it works out for them now or in the future

Women hardly goes into something that will not benefit

BMathew:
@Amarachi Iyawo Emeka wrote

Good morning ma.

Please I need sincere advice from you and your readers.

I am a working class woman who earns higher salary than my husband.

So based on this, I willingly shouldered more of the financial contributions in running our home.

My husband only pays the house rent and nepa bills but i pay our children school fees, our feeding, clothing and every other thing.

So recently my husband lost his job and became self employed while I was promoted at my own office.

I decided to finish our building project which my dad singlehandedly started 5 years ago before he passed on

This is to remove the burden of house rent on us but my husbands one kobo is not coming into this.

So we decided to move to a 3 bedroom flat in the meantime because our young family is expanding with a baby on the way.

We got a nice place with a spacious master bedroom and two other rooms. I told my husband that I wanted the master bedroom but he protested that its his right as the head of the family.

I got angry and told him I can't be paying our rent and not have a say on choice of rooms. I have more loads and need more space so I insisted on the Master bedroom.

He still refused. I told him I wouldn't help out with the rent again and he got angry. For two nights now he has been sleeping at the house of one of his bachelor friends place.

Seun,RoyalRoy

Imagine

I think you can pay the rent, let him pack into the master bedroom, you too pack into the same room

Make sure you stuff the room with all your personal effects because the baby on the way needs comfort and space

Children stays more in mummy's room so accommodate them too as he can't chase them out since they are his children

He will be choked in that room

By the time he sees how busy and naughty a woman's room is, he will decide to move to another room or endure the discomfort

No be every thing them they argue, some will prove itself

Every problem get solution

Skyboy267:
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This Tecno phone comes with 4GB RAM with an option of 64GB or 128GB built-in storage. Memory Fusion is baked in allowing you to add 2GB virtual RAM to improve performance. A 5000 mAh battery is provided. Tecno Spark 9T comes with Android 12 out of the box.

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Alesa3341:
Hello Guys, please I need a sincere and matured advise on what to do. This will be long, please bare with me.

I'm 27, am a businessman, I have this girl I really love so much and intend to marry her this year December, but one thing about her is her bad character. She challenge me, talk back at me, shout at me, get angry with me for days, refuse to cook when she is angry, disrespect my family, most especially my mum, always trying to paint herself good and paint me bad in presence of people, these are just little of the things she has done to me.

When she lost her job, and had nowhere to go, I had to bring her to my house, and provide everything for her, food, I change her hair twice a month, subscribe unlimited for her, I just provided everything a woman need to be happy for her. Last year November, she told me she haven't seen her mum for 5years and wanted to travel to see her, I spent close to 200k to take her to and fro, including other things she needed. She insisted on collecting the bride price list for me when coming back, I spoke to her mum and they gave her to give me. I was planning to finalize all on the weeding this year.

Last year DECEMBER, I took her to my family to introduce her, but this was the biggest mistake of my life. She was completely disrespectful to my mum, talks to me anyhow in presence of anyone, even to the extent of refusing to cook for me anytime she is angry, I go to kitchen and prepare food myself.

I love this girl so much but I still thought of continuing, with all this attitudes, I advise her everyday, I also took her to my pastor who advise her too most of the times, but she never changes.

Fast forward to 2days ago, we had issues because she told me to join her in washing and I refused because I was working on a client project, she got angry, washed the clothes and when it was evening she brought the clothes inside, folded her own in the wardrobe and just threw mine into the wardrobe without folding or arranging them. I was angry about this, but I kept mute. The next day, she sent me "sorry" on WhatsApp, I told her to come to me physically and apologize but she told me she can never do that, and why was she even apologizing, that she did nothing wrong, we exchanged words and she left my house.

Today, she called me and told me she is pregnant, and that I should send her money to remove it. I was like "just like that"? We didn't discuss about it, how will you just tell me you want to terminate my pregnancy, I told her to go to hospital and confirm it and also get the test report, she did this and sent to me, it was true she is pregnant, but she insisted on removing it, I persuaded her and she still refused, claiming she can't be a single mother. I told her I will take responsibility, but she insisted on removing it, I told her to go home and think about it, and she told me she can't leave there without removing it. After so much persuading I decided to give her the money, and told her if she removed it, that it's on her, that I didn't consent to this.

I asked her why we can't keep it, and she said because my family is bad, we support evil, if the sky is blue, we say it's red, that my mother is a bad woman, and she doesn't want to come there. She said so many bad things about my family, I was shocked! I asked her, how are they bad, she said "how can my mother be telling her to wash my clothes" I was just confused, After all I have done for you, is it bad if you wash your husband to be clothes, I left her!

Later she told me the doctor referred her to another hospital, I still tried to persuade her and she said her decision is final. She asked me to give her money to go to the hospital she was referred to, I refused! I insisted that we keep the baby, she told me "I'm a nobody, that she will call now and she will get money to go" I angrily blocked her. Later, she called my other line and told me, she went to the other hospital and the doctor told her, the cost to remove the pregnancy is 125k, she told me and I insisted on keeping the baby.

Please guys help.me, I don't want to terminate my first child, the girl is too disrespectful and rude, I don't want to continue with such woman, but she is carrying my baby, what do I do? And if she later agree to keep it, how do I go about it?

You all are just saying "don't marry her" what about the baby? Should I agree to abort it and give her the money?

MODIFIED

I pity you, that's all I can say
You never see anything, until you enter neck deep

Look at the way you gave her your Mumu button with extra battery for the remote control

Dey play

Banilla:
Mods, take this to the front page. Thank you.

Hi everyone! I have a boyfriend, we've been together for a year. I absolutely love him, he's my whole world! And that's the reason I'm pressuring him to save, if we're going to have a future together. And he's down for it, he makes nothing less than 200k monthly. I'm still a student, searching for a decent job. I can't invest sh** presently but I hope to start soon. Yesterday, I brought it up. I want him to send money monthly to my bank account, no matter how little. I'll save it for him. He's hesitating. He said I should be patient, he'll give me everything I need but he wants more time. I don't want to ruin our relationship but I need his co-operation. I'm scared he might leave me, after I've given him the best years of my life. I subtly threatened him that my family would force me to marry a Nigerian but he made a joke out of it, saying I would never, that I'm his...

What should I do?

NB: I've never taken a dime from him. He drinks often and I don't want him spending 'our future' on alcohol! I'm way better at saving.

I'm worried if I press the subject, he'll get mad at me.

I also told him I want to leave Nigeria, he thinks it's a good idea and I also told him I can't afford it alone. He said he needs time.

Doesn't he love me? Should I let it go? Or insist we resolve this?

I think you are rushing him in and for everything about this relationship

In another words you are being forward and that's a bad signal

How do you teach an adult like him on how to save, he knows how to save and when to save money

So you telling him that he should save in your account, will make him the most stupid person this season

Secondly, you told him that you want to travel out but don't have the finances, you are indirectly telling him to sponsor your trip

You know what, just don't rush that guy if you don't want to loose him

If you want to save money, save alone

If you want to travel out, sponsor yourself and get your prestige

Stop telling him what you think he should do because he is not married to you, so, you can't give him such ideas and expect him to obey you

He is not a rubber stamp

Abbeytoy:
Not in 1000 plan list.

Alright naw

Abfinest007:
I appreciate it but I think it just a little gift to buy ur mind

I think he wants to show him that they can be good friends and he may have nothing against him despite they had issues sometimes

Abbeytoy:
Yes óò...

He don get me already

Just try to be friendly with him and he may be a good fellow and both of you will keep seeing each other till death so far he is your neighbor

Dont be surprise you may go to him to put you through with cat fish training

Mastersure:
Great Nairalanders,
May the new year be good to everyone here.

Please, i have a problem i need to share with us all here, with the hope of sound counsels on how to manage the situation.

Now the thing is, i am in a serious relationship that is leading to marriage with a lady. But this lady is an ulcer patient. This condition makes her to fall sick almost every week. Stomach upsets and general body weakness, but she still works.
Monies are spent in the hospitals steady and in addition, my plan is after wedding, when we would have been married, i will ensure that those products that eases/relief the ailment like, Milk and Yoghurt together with the normal drugs will always be available at home. (She takes Milk and yoghurt steady for reliefs).

Now my problem is, she falls ill almost all the time, Her younger sister is also an ulcer patient, her mother too is an ulcer patient and her uncle is also a chronic ulcer patient. And these have been given me issues.

True i love her 100% but it will not still be a big deal to end the relationship.

Please, Doctors, Mothers, Fathers and all the experienced and learned people here, Is this a big deal? And how can i handle the issue?

Thanks and God bless you all.

This one weak me I swear

What if you do t know about all these and you are already married to her

God will provide money as it's obvious it's in the family and it will definitely pass to your children

So advice yourself so that you don't blame anyone for going ahead or loosing her

Follow your mind

Steverolly:
I think the best time to have go see them was this festive season but I didn't travel because I had really important things to round up.
The next time I'll travel to them is after my grad, which is like in 3 months time.
I'll just probably be speaking with my mom about this, let me hear from her.

Alright naw, God will give you wisdom that you need

Steverolly:
I'm the first son of 5 kids (2 boys, 3 girls), we have just our mum due to my dad passed earlier last year.
I'll be 21 by July but I've been shouldering my family for the past 1 year now. Honestly it's exhausting even as the money is there. Last year, my mum lost her job and thank God for the strike I focused on my job and was sending them enough money and also made sure they all lacked nothing.
My siblings way of reasoning is killing me honestly, not that they're feeling entitled to my funds just that they appreciate nothing, they behave childish and also waste a lot, seems they're really far from the reality facing us. Although my elder sis works but I still foot some of her bills, my immediate younger sis is in school and I partly sponsor her too, my lil bro doesn't just want to do anything reasonable even school, he's way brilliant and smarter than me but at 16 he just spends most of his time playing games and streaming it on his YouTube, he doesn't really ask for things maybe he's making some change there but I want him to get education with skills, at that age I've gotten admission developing my first website, the last child is super brilliant but very disrespectful, I just changed her school and I have big plans for her upon finishing secondary school.
Thing is I love my siblings so much and want them to be coordinated and successful, my mum is even tired, it's showing on her and the way she addresses certain issues in the house. When my dad was alive he provided for us very well even in sickness, although he didn't really like me because I'm too quiet, always in my space and hardly speak out but sometimes I pray he appears to me somehow so we'll discuss on these things, don't want to bother my Mother at all about these things and sadly I don't have anyone else to discuss with.
I'm away from them now in school facing my own issues with this final year stress but the thought of how my siblings can be successful is really bothering me.
I just want them to take charge, get serious and choose their part, I have always supported them and I'm willing to anytime...
How do I communicate this thing to them in a way they'll understand?

I think you will have to visit them,, if possible and seat them all together and talk sense to them

If you don't put things straight, they will delay you yet they won't move

Meanwhile plan well for yourself as you are the pillar they have now and if you don't stand well

The whole structure will fall yet non of them will raise you up because they don't see raising you up as their priority

Talk with your mum on phone and ask her what she wants to do to support the family, discuss this with her and tell her you want the answer on a week's time

These are all part of the reasons you will be traveling to visit them

From the complain that you have made about them, if you don't have a strong ground on them, they will blame your wife for any issues they will have with you

Fabulozz:
My wife gave birth 2 months ago she had resumed her duty in the bedroom 3 weeks ago but she doesn't want me to suck her breast saying that I should wait after she stopped exclusively breastfeeding the baby she will be 6 months. I love to suck breast and I can't wait until the baby is 6 months she said I am overeating which I am not .tell me if she is exaggerating or am overeating? Would love to hear from married women and men in the house ?

Na your type dey drink baby feeding bottle

What are you doing with a lactating mother's breast

Do you want to drink the breast milk too

Karen2024:
My aunty's husband whom I respected so much always grab my breasts, boobs and other sensitive parts of my body, it makes me uncomfortable in his presence. In our Kuteb tradition if you sleep with your uncle's wife of aunty's husband you will die but this man won't let me be. He sometimes makes attempt to slide his hand into my vagina. I hate all this!!! Should I tell his wife or just report to my parent?

Caution him in the presence of his wife if you know that you are that bold

If that disgrace will tame him, let it be

But if you know that he is the one caring for your education or whatever

Caution him in private and stop coming too close to him

Preciousgirl:
I have noticed that, my boss is unable to keep eye contacts with me when we are talking

He appears shy when talking to me
And very soft with me
He grants my every request
Even though he is very hard on other colleagues

Is he interested?

If he is, I can't do anything with him
But how will I manage it?

Thanks

For you to get all the approvals and express service from this hard Boss and means he is coming up with a request that may be difficult for you to reject

He has to be this soft and gentle to get his way

Its now left for you to give in or not when the request comes

No matter how hard a man is, he will be humble when he wants to gets his ways from a woman

Mandate2023:
At that age igbo men will be teaching their children and grand children hw to hate yorubas

Honestly you don't have sense

How is this stupid statement related to the success of this elderly Yoruba man academic success that all tribes are happy for

You are a tribal bigot

RIDOO:
Beni ..any man that is not serious in the category of ur husband should not be allowed to father more than one child... infact l have examples close to me..At most 2 kids cos the burden will continually be on the woman..So it is very wise to be on an authentic birth control method around them or else sorry be that person's case.

Exactly

[quote author= post=119904826]Source: https://dailypost.ng/2023/01/10/man-accused-of-killing-his-wife-over-bread-reacts-to-allegations/[/quote]He actually caused her death

He said he only hit her once

Brother Ode, once is enough to lead to death

Let him rot in jail

If he had walked away that moment, nothing of this would happen

Anger effect is even worst than drug effect

DamnnNiggarr:
Traders reject new naira notes in Niger



https://www.vanguardngr.com/2023/01/traders-reject-new-naira-notes-in-niger/

My concern now is, assuming I don't have the new notes by 1st of February being a working day,
How do I transport myself to work,

what will I use to pay the conductor for transport fare especially if it's about #500 for that fare

Meaning that I won't be able to go to work because I don't have the new notes

Anyway, I believe the government will either extend the date or exempt #200 and focus on 1000 and 500 as dead line

I still remember that they changed #100 and both the new and old #100 was running concurrently

Nbote:
What is even more annoying is why are banks still paying the old notes to customers?? After asking ppl to deposit old notes they are still paying out old notes

Because they don't have the new notes to give

The banks too are not finding it funny

How else will they run the banking business if not to keep circulating the old notes till the dead line

all4zionlover:
Thanks. That's what I'm doing now.
The two children are enough for me.

Good girl that's what you are
You will come out stronger and be an independent woman

Morgan9:
My child of 7months has been down since we returned from our Christmas celebration on the 6th of January.
He vomits anything given to him .( drugs and food)
And his poo is watery and consistent.
He poos immediately he takes anything ( that's if he doesnt vomits it)

We went to the hospital 2days ago after examining him by the doctor he said its malaria and teething ..(@ 7 months my son hasn't grow a single tooth )
Drugs were given to us plus injections.

But I haven't see much difference since then till now.
Just that the constant stooling has stopped but he still vomits every now and then..

Presently he is very weak as he can no longer stand on his feet or sit on his own..

Some people I have explained my predicament to, said its a spiritual attack.
While some said it's teething problem.

I am really confused .
So I thought it wise to bring it to this forum for suggestions on any other possible solutions..

Please parents in the house .. What was the experience of your child that did not grow even a single tooth .that has exceeded 7 months.

I think your child need to be admitted in the hospital and be under observation by medical personnels

You are not yet experienced to handle this situation alone

The hospital will know better on what to do

all4zionlover:
Honestly I'm going through so much here. I'm losing it. I feel depressed, so much fear, unhappy and lonely. My husband's gambling habit has removed love and affection from our home.
He quickly finishes any money that comes to him. Either salary and anything in bet nija and concentrate on asking me for money. I'm have no job, I'm buy little things and resell. My capital is not even stable because all the financial expenses is on me. Yet he doesn't care. He keeps malice with me for not giving him money and not coming home to meet food.
This year, I have decided not to keep food for him so long as he can not bring money for feeding, for the children he claim he love and upkeep.
I've endure for too long and I'm getting fade up.

All my actions and his behaviour really makes me sad.
I have no love, respect for him.
I excessively worry for upkeep, school fees, bills, things we don't have at home. Everything is on me.
I'm so stressed and lonely. I feel I need a shoulder to rest on maybe to cry.
I'm so sad because our two sons are too attached to their father and I'm scared of their feelings if I decided to divorce their father

My first son wouldn't even go to bed until his father return back from work.

Have you been in this kind of situation?
What did you do? How do people survive this kind of situations?

Just be calm and focus on your children

You have to be strong and train those children especially on education

As for your spouse, don't give him shishi, don't even look at his direction so that he doesn't weigh you down

So far he is not caring about the whole situation and he doesn't bring food, feed your children, he will sort himself out

The more you become pregnant the more the burden for you

Fmartin:
I am dating a lady, and we are about to get married. She's already carrying my baby.
I have taken her to my parents. I have never taken a lady to my parents before. I have seen her parents too, and have communicated my intention to marry their daughter.

The only thing holding me now is to get things in order before paying her dowry.

The main problem now is that we keep having issues, coz, she's always making calls with her exs. i have confronted her on Several occasions, we have had fights, physical fights as well.

She told me she dont have the guts to tell them to stop calling her. She can only keep playing them till they walk away.
I told her i dont have that Luxury of patience. She has to choose between me and her exs.

Now, the issue is that she's pregnant and I have already taken her to my parents, they all like her.

I would have broken up if not because of the pregnancy. Coz, I wouldn't want to leave her with the pregnancy like that. To make matters worse, She have a kid out of wedlock. Though the father of the baby and her are not in good terms.

I hhave told her to stop making calls with her ex, but she seems sturbon.
She's ready for me to Change her sim card but I want her to use her sanity and end things with her ex in a boldly manner rather than hiding under the guise of changing sim. I have registered a new sim, but It's still with me, I have not given her.

Am confused, I need you guys advices for way forward.
No think insult, coz I gaht over dose.
Peace.....

If you like, get a new sim every month for her, She may have written their numbers some where

But why can't she obey simple instructions if actually she is ready for marriage

Well I think you should hold on with further marriage rights and inform her to make an open call to all her exsis that she is getting married and may not be communicating with them again

After that ask her to break the sim card chips herself and hand her the new one

You can start observing her from their

If she continues then there are other things she left with them and she is yet to cut them off

Ersther:
What an odd hour to converge

That was my thinking too and coming out in such hour means they are well prepared for even the police

Why not seek police approval if actually they are on a good mission

Middleborn:
I'm a married man, been married for 3 years. I'm happy in marriage with a daughter who is a year and 6 months old.

Before I met my wife in August of 2018, i was in love with Rita, a beautiful and intelligent lady. I'd known her for some years but I've never been free to pursue a relationship with her, I was engaged to another, but it didn't work out. So, by April 2018, I broke up with my fiancee. I wasn't so affected by the break up cos at that time I had understood it wouldn't have worked out between us. After the break up, i ran into Rita and we hung out. I realised to my excitement that she was sweeter than I imagined. She was a beautiful soul and we kinda fit hand in glove. The problem was, she had a boyfriend and she wanted so much to end up with him. Now, she would prefer me to him in many aspects, but he was rich and I was, well, just there. That didn't stop her from giving herself to me. We made sweet love many times, mostly in my place. I was so in love cos for the first time I met a woman who loved love making as much as I did. Everytime, we had s*x raw. She was on daily pills. We would gist after making love and get aroused again and go on and on. I felt jealous each time her boyfriend would come to town and she has to go visit him. Once she consoled me by saying when she has sex with him, she's thinking about me. The thought of her being with him broke my heart, but she says to me "just enjoy all this while it lasts".

This carried on until August, at this time I realised I have to look for a girlfriend, someone I would get married to. So one time she came to my place, after we had s*x, I told her about some girls I planned to approach. She picked one for me her name was Angel. She said I should try that one. (Angel is my wife now). So I got to know Angel, asked her out and she said yes. During the early part of my relationship with Angel, Rita and I were still fu*king. Once, we lodged in a hotel and slept over, the s*x was mad, so sweet, at the time, I hadn't had it that sweet before. After then we would make love only twice before her boyfriend proposed to her suddenly. Even if I was determined to pursue the relationship with Angel, I was jealous she was engaged. But a week or two before the engagement I noticed Rita was unhappy and frustrated and I asked, but she waved it off. She got married on December 22, 2018 and I became more serious with Angel and got married to her in August of 2019.

Rita gave birth to a baby girl in July 4, 2019. This left me thinking, she was pregnant before she got married?. We hardly talk these days because Angel is a jealous wife. She doesn't like me to keep in touch with my female friends. So Rita and I talk sparsely. The thing that convinces me even more that her baby is mine is that, my daughter who is 1 year 6 months, she was born 15th of July 2021 looks exactly like Rita's daughter born 4th of July 2019. Both are carbon copies of my mum and younger sister. I think she knows and has refused to tell me. But why would she hide it from me? I don't even know what to do with this knowledge. This is my story. What do you guys think?

This is very dicey

If you demand for a new DNA test and it's positive, Rita husband will reject the child and reject her

Be ready to accept her and the child and marry Rita

If the test is negative, you have already created a wond that won't ever get healed in her marriage because of dragging such to her husband face and hearing

Are you well prepared emotionally for the out come if you should take any of the actions you may be thinking of

Just give them time and keep in touch with Rita, you guys will get to know the truth one day, either from Rita that is if you ask her or by circumstances