₦airaland Forum

Wannabenz:
Hello Guys!

I'm trying to do court marriage abi Registery Marriage. My question is after doing introduction with the girls family do I need to go ahead and do court marriage and still plan on doing traditional wedding?

They are two different things

You are actually supposed to do the traditional marriage, where the family would hand her over to you then you proceed for registry

Introduction in marriage is not the same with traditional and that alone haven't made the marriage process complete

piecuntie:
HI NAIRALANDERS ;
I am about to seperate from husband who sponsored me in school because I am fed up.

I came from a very poor family. I met my husband when I was 19. He wasn't doing well either, he told me he was an engineer in a public hospital but as time went on I got to know he was a level 3 plumber in the civil service.

Well I was young, naive, hungry and blindly in love. He went to trade school and I encouraged him to go back to school for HND or bsc but he said he was going to sponsor me first. I got pregnant for him in my first year in school when I was 20yrs old, my mom was against it. I got to know he was 13years older than me while pregnant. HE TOLD ME HE WAS 26yrs old.

My mom wanted me to abort it, instead i packed my things and stayed with him.
He abused my mom and I defended him. I gave birth while in school and he continued to support me both financially. We fought during those period, series of red flag but I decided to ignore it as long he wasn't beating me. He abused me emotionally. He knew my family was poor and there was no where i could go.

I finished school and my friends told me not to marry a plumber, I declined and told them he promised to go to school.

I finished school and i was scared of depending on him with my child, we were not doing fine at all.

I had no choice than to date a rich guy who helped me with a good job in the year 2017. HE got to know about the guy and i broke up with him. I apologized and we GOT MARRIED LEGALLY and got pregnant with my second child. We spent only 150k.

All the money i made from my salary, I made sure i supported him, i moved out of the family house in the year 2019, we have been there for 8yrs, he couldnt afford to rent a house, I spent 400k, both of us had no friends, we only had each other. I helped my brother and they did well in business. I asked my husband to go back to school, he was still adamant.

We went to a traditional person and they told him there is a curse on his head that i should bathe and do some sacrifice for him, which i did.

By year 2020 he was doing fine, we didn't even go hungry during the lockdown, I supported him with 2million naira and we did our traditional marriage.

IT was his business patners who were notorious cheat and neglected their wife that did his groom men, They introduced him to an association, i have asked him what is the aim of the association, he cant tell me, it is a secret.

3 months after the wedding, he started cheating and even beat me for the first time on our wedding anniversary becaus of the girl,
When he saw i withdrawed all financia assistant like paying half of the rent and paying one of the kids school fees. he called family members to beg me and we settled and i bought a family car for us to use.

Since then i have been walking on eggs around him, he tells me i should respect his age that we are not mate, he beat me again last 3 months saying i am as proud as my mother and i abused his mother back.

This monday i had to run after bus to go to work because i told im i was looking for mOney, and he said i just call him a thief. I had no money on me i had to call my brother to give me money. He wasnt even bothered. He doesn't call me again, WE DONT GO OUT AGAIN


I don't stress him for expensive outing our wigs or phone.
I bought my phone or trip myself out. He would rather hang out with his friends. He tells his friends and the kids i wear cheap outfits.

My mind is now strong. I don't cry again if he offends me nor complain.

I want to divorce him , sell the car and use it for this UK study route and take my children as dependent without him knowing. I am tired of the marriage already. He is 44 while I am 31. i want to move on with my life.

Sorry for the long write up

Well you have tried so far
He trained you in school quite alright but you have paid him back too with all the financial support you put into his business and marriage

If you are no longer finding peace and love in the marriage, you can do whatever that is in your mind

I stand with you because the marriage foundation was on lies and now that you are fully aware he lied to you that he works in the Engineering department, probably you thought he was an engineer and he went to the university, whats wrong if he tells you he works as a plumber in government hospital

You wanted him to upgrade himself and go to school, but he dogged it because he is not capable of being in school as his brain can't stand higher education, why not tell you openly that he doesn't want to further his education


While you go ahead with your plan, even when you get there, live your life but give him access on phone to speak with the children

But am 100% sure that you may never want him again because ov his violence on you

Real men don't beat women, they walk away

officialwdhtv:
A German-based African mum is fedup and in total disbelief as her little daughter keeps bringing different animals home everyday

Take a listen and pls share in your comments what you would do if it were you

The end part is so funny

Watch video here


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KGh6UPsJVeQ

https://www.instagram.com/reel/CmJwZvTps8u/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Very funny child
Dont be surprise she will study Animal medicine to be a vertinarian

BleakFuture:
Where they will groom frustrated souls like me

You are not frustrated in Jesus name, Amen
Pls be positive, there is power in the tongue

Fstar1:
Good morning ma, hope you had a wonderful night rest. Though no one does this online anymore but sincerely I'm out of option. For like 4 days now, I've not been working, the construction site I used to work told some of us to wait for now because there is no enough cash to pay labourers for now. Seriously I've been starving since then, today sef I don't know how to survive, pls I come to solicit for your help in any little way you can assist me. I don't know what to say again, Please ma'am

May the lord be with you this trying times
It is well

HonNL:
SOURCE


Previous thread https://www.nairaland.com/6538670/nonuplets-halima-cisse-malian-woman#101395290

If this happens in Nigeria, the father will run away
Return on their birth day to apologize and disappear again till government gives him a job and free accommodation

Then people will donate food items and other materials

oneMalik:
Correct judge !

No excuse !

Honestly

Cmanforall:
And be consistent with your story

I know a guy with cut on his head, he used it as evidence of attempt to murder him etc. Today he's been granted asylum

That's it
If you want to lie, lie from the beginning to the end

They don't want you to manipulate words

Eriokanmi:
Omo yoruba atata Was the family living in the northern Nigerian before they fled to the USA in 2017?

There's no boko haram down south, someone should help out . I didn't follow their story from the beginning.

The white doesn't just want to hear that one is afraid of any one, religion or marriage

Once you complain they will reason with you

LhasaAsp:
This nation has finished me

I'm TIRED
I can no longer feed twice a day, rising cost of food is biting hard. Since Morning Hunger don kill me, I no get money. School fees they there I never pay.
Nigeria,why What did I do

I have been indoors since all most all my Friends are traveling back home, I don't have funds to travel back . This pressure is taking a while lot on me.
The Bright side in in my final year, I just have one more year to Go.
I just need the depression away.
I worked during the strike to offset my house rent in school, clear my outstanding bills. Now a new session is here and a new rent is about to be paid.
I practically train myself. I'm tired. The Bright side is the incessant strike o... If not for these ling strikes I won't be able to reach this stage in school.
God help me
Nairaland help me
I will never give up.
I do get income from little job but I swear, it's never enough.

The struggle continues
If you give up you start afresh

If you give up you loose all

Just trust in God, he is the one doing all for you

Prechgold1180:
Good evening house

Sorry to bore you with my issues


My mum and dad separated 24 years ago

Reason for separation
My only biological bro died from malaria
My dad was unable to come up with money for treatment

My mum moved out took me with her
She remarried 2 years after
Gave birth to 4 leaving me with 4 step sibling
Some years back I heard my mum saying my dad has other children ( I don’t even know them ) I don’t even know my dad

I am a graduate now

So comfortable in life
Got lands houses and cars to my name

My problem now is I feel empty whenever I think of my dad
More like I don’t know my root

I plan on visiting mums home for Christmas
The problem is she hates my dad so much
any thing about that topic gets her angry

I don’t know how to convince to go show me my dads house

I don’t know possible ways to get her to show me my dad hus

Don’t even know if my dad is good
Don’t even know his family
Don’t even know my village
Everything I call family is just from my mother side

Zero from my dad side
I wish I can know them

You must apply wisdom to get the good angel out of a woman

She hates your but you will be patient with uoir mum to know who your dad is

She loves you more that you can think

But just give her the assurance that she is the first person in yoor heart

Prove it with love and respect
Care and attention

One day she will give you directions

If you use force on her, it will worst the situation

ebuka10box:
Please nairalanders ,it's close to 2 years I lost both parents and I haven't seen them in my dreams or vision. I really need them to speak to me cos life itself is confusing rn .. please does anyone here hears or dreams bout late family members or friends

Do you worship them, if yes invoke them to speak to you

But thr best thing you need is God to speak to you and when he does
He gives you wisdom and direction that you need

Tayorshd2:
Sorry for my speech oo but please just advise me abeg


I met this woman around February this year so we didn't really date at all and am in my late 30s and she is around 27y so after a month or two at most she got pregnant for me and I was so happy, immediately I plan of going for introduction but which I was instructed by my prist not to do such because the babys destiny don't want such for now that I should wait until we give birth ....

My problem now is.that the lady in the picture hardly listen to my instructions, like my ideas or always use hostile way to give responds to simple question ...
Even sometimes if I give command or correct her for something she has done wrong in my house she will reply in an agreesive way as if how can I be telling her what to do or what not to do....

Kai to an extend that I do call her.mothers elder sister because am close to her because she lives with her that this is what and what I do notice about this girl and that I may leave her in d nearest future probably after birth ...

My problem again is that this same lady is also trying to tell me about wedding bla bla and that we don't really need introduction..

CAN I STILL MARRY SUCH A LADY ?

Like I see her as if not because of the pregnancy stuff we are not really on same page .. **crying*** and am somehow blaming myself at this junction for doing such with her....


PLEASE WHAT DO YOU THINK I CAN DO TO FREE MYSELF FROM THIS UNFORSEEN CIRCUMSTANCES

Since you don't know what to do

Suspend every form of marriage commitment

Wait till after the birth of your baby

Meanwhile ask yourself if you can cope with her uncouth attitude and manners

Forget about the joy of being a father
The birth of a child brings joy to a man, be it legitimate or illegitimate Gshaghga

Think with your head straight

Stop reporting her to her family, they will encourage you to go ahead (at your own risk)

Pregnancy is not marriage

Women can pretend to be good for a benefit to suits her not really to the whole interests of her marriage

I am a woman and am not condemning my gender

But if you don't use your head and apply wisdom, you won't take a decision that will progress your entire life

Pregnancy is not an automatic ticket
Pregnancy is not an authority for a woman to be naughty

Marriage is not gambling

Respect is what men wants in marriage
Love is what women wants in marriage

Leave centimeters aside

vvvbobby205:
He is marrying for both of them. This is why he has to choose a woman who will be a good wife to him and a good mother to his son

I know that
But the statement was because of his son and you and I knows that it's for him

It takes grace of God to get a woman that will embrace a step child, with the kind of crazy things happening

Oberhiri141:
Ever since i packed into my new house, my landlady and her daughter have been disturbing my life one way or the other.

One day, I gave my landlady 10kg of mama gold rice which was given to me at my place of work and then the following morning she called me and asked me to lend her 10k.

I think she has taken my kindness for weakness and as for her daughter, her own inordinate request for money is unbearable. If it's not meatpie today then it's recharge card or even hair cream.

Please, Elders in the house, how can I cope with this burden?

I think you are very comfortable with such madness

If not then tell them that you don't have

After all you are paying rent

You want to do Mr nice guy, until you become a father for her daughter's pregnancy

DouyeEbi:
Hi Nairalander,
A friend of mine lost his wife about a year ago.... October 2021 to be precise.
He has a son who has been with him since the incident...
His Mon is now telling him to get married again because of his son.
He is now asking me if it too early to start a serious relationship that can lead to marriage.
I say let me bring it here for advice.
Thanks

He is not marrying for his son but for himself

So let him decide

dboY1123:
Safe to tell u that I haven't added a single thing since when I parked in. And at least like 3 people parked out and a pastor is one of them.. I have someone who is also running helter skelter to pay his rent and d landlord told me he's looking for him.
Some house will bring luck and not making things difficult, I didn't pray very well before going ahead cz I had little money and was desperate to pack out of my dad's house since I was already serving..

Ok. Naw
You too can plan to pack out and see if you will get alright

ULiTv:
Is it worth it buying land in Abuja right now or I should wait till after election.

I am facilitating on buying a plot land from the owner here in abuja, but a friend is advicing I should halt till after election...

Your kindly advice is needed please

What was his reason for you to wait

Lands don't depreciate rather they appreciate

Dont be surprise you will pay more after election

Bayonet40:
Good morning nairalanders.
Please ignore any typo error.
I have a son of about 11 months now who still finds it difficult to stand holding objects, like chairs, table or bed, immediately I place him on those stuffs for him to stand, he starts shaking in fear and cries out loud, he gets too scared when placed on a standing position to hold those mentioned stuffs. But he can stand confidently when his back is placed on the wall (even for a long time), he can also stand firmly and even try to walk when holding my both hands, my wife took him to the hospital but the doctor told her to allow him, that he will adapt when he wants.
My question is.
At 11 months, why does he still get scared when placed to hold chairs, table etc?
I understand that some babies don't crawl at all before walking, he can stand firmly while holding someone's hands but refuses to do so while hold other stuffs due to fear by shaking and crying loudly as if he saw something scary.
Am concerned that's why am here. Please should I just ignore him and stop trying to force him to hold those things or I should continue not minding how he cries and shakes? He is very healthy, plays a lot. Why the delay to crawl, and stand holding chairs, bed, table

That's a normal child ans he will do all that at the right time

Be ready to relocate all you have on the floor to upper layers when he stars walking and touching things anyhow

Wellspringbunny:
Our eldest daughter 22 years old disowned us because we didn't like the man she was dating the guy is not Nigerian which is not a problem but he has a bad reputation he is a Gold digger and gigolo he has 7 children by 6 women people from his country in our community have warned us and told us to tell our daughter to run for her life we have talked to her to no avail she left the house and disowned us. she got married yesterday Saturday without our knowledge. We didn't know that she was getting married it was my husband that saw the wedding footage on tiktok , he showed me the footage we are heartbroken we have lost sleep and appetites ,there is nothing we can do to stop her we don't have her contact nor her adress she has even stopped talking to her immediate younger sister because she advised her to quit the relationship. she went to her sister old house she heard them arguing about money he use her credit card without her consent so my youngest daughter warned and told her to send him packing she agreed only for her to blocked her till date, she has changed house . We hope that she will not end up like his other baby mamas, I need advice from other parents in the house what advice would you give my husband and I? Please note we are not in Nigeria we lives abroad

At this point, you guys will not throw the baby with the bathing water

Find away and call the them to congratulate them and start relating with them. As if nothing happened

She will learn her lessons but whatever you guys are telling her is not enough to teach her lessons

Is what she will pass through from that guy that will teach her the lessons of her life

Just wish her well
She is the crazy type and age has choosen her path

Samuel1402:
My Father pass away on Friday, after few weeks illness which we spent huge money on hospital bill and almost cost me my job due to my frequent absent from work, he died on Friday Im very very sad and destabilized, and don't know how to cope with this reality, cos it still look like a dream to me

May God rest his soul
Pls take heart
You will soon wear his shoes as he has given the training you need to stand well in his absence

Make sure you take care of the family and especially your mum

dboY1123:
It was when I started to feel smh that I decided to let her leave, maybe our destiny no match and herself she's not helping matters at all.. Even if I'm broke she wouldn't hesitate to ask for money. So why would I be with such a person? Meanwhile I did everything I achieved while I was single.. I'll look into myself critically..Thanks ma'am.
I just felt like since I parked in, things started changing for me, it might be wrong but I noticed. If I have money I'll pack away,.in just one year everything changed.

You did well dropping her as her worries are much and her behaviors are not helpful

God will give you directions

dboY1123:
Ma'am, like, money no dy stay for my hand again, and I no dy spend money like dat, but it'd like e dy disappear.. Even the capital itself not to say d gain.. If I have 100k today, on Friday it could remain 40k without spending o.. The thing is ,I play bet but I still don't think I spend dat much on it, cz I've been betting even before I rented my apartment.

Ok. I think the best way is getting a savings container like the wooden one or piggy bank

Be saving there and don't put it in the pocket, except the one for food after a week check the piggy bank

If it disappears then something is wrong

dboY1123:
There might be another unseen or spiritual stuff I don't know, could it be my house? I parked in last year December.. I left my gf maybe I dy give money na y.. I want to understand

If you have searched yourself and can't find thr leaking route

Then ask your neighbors if they are passing the same experience

If so then probably the house
If not them I don't know what you guys had
that made you to drop your girlfriend

You never can tell

Did you promise her marriage

dboY1123:
I rented a room and parlor self con of 130k cz friends told me there ain't much difference btw d two ,self con is Luke 100k.. If things didn't go wrong I'm d type that'd save two months and I'll see d money.

Ok good
But what was that thing that went wrong
You don't club
You don't drink
You don't womanize

So where did you miss your step

dboY1123:
I'll be brief and precise, I finished my nysc this year but before I began my nysc programme I have started a small business, and I was serious with it, dedicated and trustworthy.. I gained customers in no time and things started moving the right way.. This year, February my mum started this illness, though she's been experiencing it for a while(we didn't know it's heart failure related), later in April she passed on, I'm the last born but my elder siblings didn't show much care towards her so I had to spend my money, part of my allowance to take care of her little.
But this changed recently like 6months now, I can barely buy anything, before I went to service I've saved enough, got an apartment, bed,fan, other basic things to start life after service, but now things became worse, my shop is closed, I'm into debt, I can't pay house rent, no food at home.. I started to think it could be the house I rented cz people parked out of there, maybe my gf I left her, maybe someone gave me bad money.
Many thoughts, I'm looking for job now, I need to do something and I have been strong enough! I know the challenges I faced in school now this!
I'm depressed that's just it, things changed totally.. Things got worse!!
Please help with your advice!
Note: I play bet, but I am conscious of how I spend money on that, and I have been doing that before now. I don't carry olosho or girls, I don't drink nor spend lavishly on irrelevant things.
Any advice I'll accept It and change. Thank you

I think you need to search yourself to know what makes you go broke

Is it betting

Are you living larger than life

Did you rent more than a self contain

Do you just spend with out watching the inflow of cash

Just check yourself very well

udofia234:
Hmmm!!! So I should zero my mind on her charting on me?

Carry am for mind

udofia234:
No advice?

Advice yourself by yourself

milann:
ibkayee, fashioncookie, mariahangel, uyaiincomparabl, frozen70, cococandy, klass99, sisisioge. Your thoughts?

The funny aspect of being broke and not having erection are two different route

Erection must take place broke or no broke
As a matter of fact, when a ma is broke and down, he gets erection and when he makes love his tensioans nerves will calm down for that period

When a man gets happy and excited, his erection gets in and he has to make love to compliment his joy

The only problem with being broke and not supposed having erection is when he pregnants a woman out of his poor state

That is when the erection will die off because a bigger responsibility have come in whereas he has no penny to solve half of the responsibilities

charlesdprof:
I have been in a serious 5 years relationship with my girlfriend.
She is all I want in a woman, beautiful, intelligent, loyal and faithful. Am her first guy though and she is just 22. She is a Nurse.
I decided to take the relationship to the next level this year. I surprised her with an engagement party and put the ring on her finger. She was very happy.
I met her parents and started with the Introduction. They accepted my proposal and requested for a medical test to ascertain
our genetic compatibility before proceeding with the bride price payment.
I took her to a private medical laboratory for the test and the result said we are both AS.
It was a devastating experience for us but we decided to go for another round of test in two separate reputable hospitals to confirm the test result but the results were the same AS.
The parents decided the marriage will not continue while my girlfriend have been crying since then. It was a heartbreaking experience for me. Seeing my girlfriend cry is shattering my heart. I decided to call off the relationship but she has been pleading with me not to leave her.
Am just confused. Please your advice is needed.
What do I do in this situation considering the love and commitment we built for 5 years now.

You already know what to do about the relationship

Forget about her crying tears

Gradually both of you will get tired and things will get in to places

Jennyclay:
When I mean elderly men, I mean men in their 60s and above. These set of men are the most romantic men on earth. They are the best. No wonder Regina Daniels choose Ned nwoko over Somadina.

Even though it seems like child molestation when they try to make advances but then, they so caring, they will give you listening ears, they will pet you and carry you like a pot made of clay, they will send you enough money regularly.

But you see our young men, they are so rude, arrogant, broke, wicked and evil. They don't know how to take good care of their girlfriend but they want to experience true love. Mtchhheeewwww.

Recently a guy sent me 7k to take myself out. E gba mi, 7k? Edakun is it for garri or what? 7k can't even buy my body cream or perfume and he's telling me to take myself out with 7k. I just told him I'm not interested, I don't need his money.
Instead for the shameless broke guy to give himself some standard by saying don't worry dear, I can't collect the money back... The broke guy still went ahead to send me his account details for refund. Trust me, I sent him back his money then block him.

Low standard unromantic broke young men everywhere. Shior.

You dont have to compare experienced men with non experienced people

Meanwhile, I think what you need from a relationship is more of financial benefits than love and affection

Make your choice and go for what you want

Its your life, we all can't marry our age brackets

But remember that, is best for you to make a choice of your partner that you won't regret because of age difference and where you won't be able to express yourself freely because of the same age difference

udofia234:
Good evening every one!!!

I have an issue at hand, I'm in a serious relationship with a lady, in fact I intend marrying her, she spends her weekend with me, during her working days I check on her at her place of work and she's always there, she's so committed.


Just this Monday! A friend of mine said he saw her come to the shopping mall with a guy and the way they where on each other he's suspecting she's dating the guy, I just waved it off because I still went to her office that day and I saw her myself and that there's no way she could be the one, he felt embarrassed, so I told him anytime he sees them together again he should snap them and call me if I'm around that area I'll come see for my self.

After I got the info I never changed towards he and neither did I ask her about it, she even allowed me check her phone, I read through her msg, watttapp, Twitter, fb and others! guys I no see anything!!!

so I had that confidence that she ain't cheating on me, I mean she would have left a trace for me to know, she acts normal, she never changed towards me.

This time I intensified my checking on her and calls her regularly and when ever she didn't pick up she'll call me back apologizing.

Her movements and phones are crystal clean! I know my friend cannot lie to me cos he recognises her even in the dark! I'm hot on the inside knowing she's doing something behind me and I can't even trace anything. Before confronting her on anything I need to be sure she's really cheating....


To the wise men and women in the house! I wan catch her red handed or how do I unravel this mystery!

I pity you

Of all the issues in this life, your worries are about a faithful lady and how to catch her cheating on you

Why are you giving yourself so much worries especially where there are no reasons for such

Anyway deal with it

You just want to develop BP where it's not even needed