₦airaland Forum

Lifeinbits:
Myself and my girlfriend have been dating for almost three years that she sometimes stays in my house too. I have always had the intention of traveling abroad but i don't know how, so last year my girlfriend brought the idea of traveling and how she wants to try US study route and i encouraged her to do so. I also supported her so much with my money by helping her to pay her application fee and TOEFL exam. While doing all these, we had a conversation and she told me that if she is able to get a fully funded offer that we will be going together and I will be going with her as dependent. Now my girlfriend has gotten admission but she is yet to apply for visa and she has changed plans. She does not want me to go with her rather she is advising that I should also use the study route ifi want to travel.

Note : we had the intentions of getting married but right now she doesn't want us to get marry.

You do not know how to travel abroad, but you have a girlfriend who does and you supported her so much financially to enable it happen. While doing this, you did not ask her; Nne, how are processing this application to move abroad? Could you teach me considering I am sponsoring the process?

Did you? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!!!


Then, you came to Nairaland typing mendaciously about how she has changed her mind even though you wanted to travel but you don't know how. Not only that, you had created the same topic in the Family section, but since that had little traction, you came here to try your luck, all in a bid to enter FP.

I understand that the unemployment situation in Nigeria is extremely high, but don't you think there are better things to do with your time and precious bandwidth?

https://www.nairaland.com/7557665/girlfriend-wants-travel-abroad-without

Thanksful:
This got me laughing. After he was told Putin will not kill him, he went to his office and made a video that his not afraid. Wtf

He is an actor. What else did you expect?

pocohantas:
E shock you ba? You don’t care and you are telling me to go find job. Say what you do na. Some of you are still trying to find your bearing, but will come online to waste your meaningful time. You think every lady is like the one you are knacking? C’mon getaut of my sight.

In my opinion, that guy did not make any sense. I have come across hard-working and well-cultured ladies who contribute immensely to themselves, their families and the workplace. I discussed with them frequently, so when he was told to change his environment, it was actually good advice. Honestly, I am proud of how my parents brought my siblings and me up because we no fit reason like this. There will always be the good and bad, handsome and ugly, and logical and illogical people in society. That said, I don't consider the average Nigerian man to be intelligent. Nigeria is a case study of how a country is when governed by unintelligent men, so the braggadocio that men are inventors and built successful societies does not apply to Nigerian men. Na white and East Asian men get those appellations. Interestingly, you would never see them make mouth o.

I think the major issue with these Ndi alfa meils is poverty because if na public education, I and my siblings and even these ladies I know all passed through the public education system. Hasty generalisations are not the right ways to look at issues holistically. On the other hand, Ndi feminists have their own faults, and one of the reasons alfa meilism rose is because of the extremism of Ndi feminism

Autobot05:
Stop capping bullsh*t . Men have single handedly made the finest inventions without a woman's help

White and Asian men oo

This braggadocio by black men claiming to be alfa meils dey always burst my head.

Fiscus105:
That's why redpilers thread has to stop/block, take it of leave it, people are being indoctrinated in that thread, and indirectly it will affect society, society that has been in turmoil already.

They might say, it bringing traffic to the site, but it's disadvantages far outweigh advantage.

That was how Mutalub indoctrinated from social media years back, if not because of God intervention, hundred of lives would have lost because of satanist and foolish religion ideology from social media.

To be fair, Ndi feminists started it. They constituted so much nuisance and hatred for men on social media. Theirs even get support from companies and the wealthy in society. There had to be a rebuttal. Who knew Andrew Tate before now? He is filling a void.

seguno2:
Thanks so much for this revelation.
I keep saying that corruption is not the main reason why we are backward, but the way that we all use our time and other resources to address community issues.

How much time and other resources do Japanese use for community issues, compared with Nigerians?

I do not know, as language differences and time constraints are major hindrances. But to afford the time to engage in such will mean those people are well-off. So, it could be possible they engage in community issues more than Nigerians, but that is because they are richer. It is odd for people wey never chop belly full to start solving community issues.

shegzhkn:
Wait, you think the miracle on the Han river was copied from Japanese economic miracle, i thought the developmental process of both countries was happening almost the same time.

Although, I have saved books to read on that subject, I just a quick Google search and saw that the South Koreans benefitted from Japan through investment and access to the Japanese market. South Korea also got investment from the US and access to its market. Both did not happen at the same time. The Japanese were already richer than the Koreans and, thus, could afford to buy products made by the Koreans and send leftover investments there.

Sometimes, the way I see it, sub-Saharan Africa needs a Marshall Plan by the west, especially Europe or else the kind of immigration that would occur will change the continent's demographics. On the other hand, I can understand their fears or resentment due to the years of slavery, that should the dominant home of black people get wealthier; they will become bolder and way more stubborn than present-day China. To be honest, if we were as rich and collectively powerful as China is today, we for don demand reparations (cooperate with African Americans).

vickydevoka:
My papa sister own worst pass. 6 kids from different men

She finally marry any of them? Before she get pikin with them, dem bin don marry before or widowers?

While such happens, it is pertinent to ask: the man who married her mom with seven children, was he a single man who had not married or a divorcee or widower?

Within my circle, no single man will marry a single mother. Even if he wishes to, it is his mom and sisters that will kick against the union.

9japride:
[color=#006600][/color]

Thanks for the detailed reply. You really hit the nail at the right points. I will blame the males in Nigeria for letting the female gender down. To be frank with you, to govern the country right is very simple but because of tribalism and religious belief system one can't even think straight.

The blame lies squarely on men, no ifs or buts. It is men who build functioning societies. There is no developed or functioning society worldwide that was built by women. I reside in Japan, and with I have seen, it reinforced my belief. That thread I created was more than a year before I entered the country. As someone that has experienced life in both places, I rate Japanese men way above their Nigerian counterparts. The only thing Nigerian men know how to do is to shout, dangle their smelly preek chanting alfa meil, alfa meil, alfa meil! The average Nigerian man is very unintelligent.

The problem with Nigeria is not even corruption as corruption exists everywhere. Rather, the problem is too many diverse ethnic groups with varying cultures/practices/level of civilisation. The level of sophiscation a culture has determines the level of development she attains. Also, the readiness/sincerity of a society's elites determines how they are ready to ensure that society develops. The average Nigerian elite is very wicked, cruel, m0ronic and unintelligent.

Gerrard59:
Culture and ethnic/racial demographics play major roles in nation-building and cohesion. The vast majority of cultures in Nigeria are not pragmatic, egalitarian, enterprising, hard-working and promote integrity. Additionally, Nigeria has too many ethnic groups, creating a divisive society full of mistrust, disharmony and disunity. Looking at examples globally, the most successful/prosperous societies are those where the dominant ethnic/racial group promotes pragmatism, egalitarianism, entrepreneurship, hard work and integrity. In return, the most homogenous out of them tend to be the most successful, peaceful and safest as this homogeneity endears trust, peace and harmony. Examples abound globally and within Africa. So if you expect component parts of Nigeria to be prosperous, you know what should be done.

As you said the leaders come from the average populace and from my observation a lot of people just choose to be bad. To them a guy man must be bad, my idea of a guy man should be someone that can use wisdom to make things work. He/she will create a situation that will make everyone happy and makes himself happy too at the end. A lot of people just love the bad boy vibe that's why they keep electing wicked and emotionless individuals into power.

One of the reasons I am very irreligious. The level of religion Nigeria practice does not show in the way things are done there. And it is what I have stated countless times: just ensure the environment is conducive let people thrive to the best of their abilities. You would even have more to steal as tax revenues would have ballooned, but everyone gets richer and the society benefits overall. I really do not know what is difficult there.

Nigerian ladies are one of the best but due to years of consistent impoverishment of the masses they then resort to hookups and so on. If you check properly, life in the 1970s, 1980s and maybe early 1990s were not that bad.

Our population soared but economic growth and prosperity did not do the same. As for hook-ups, Nigerian men are the backers of it. The moment they stop patronising these girls, the girls will stop doing it. But the average Nigerian man loves sex so much. Fine with it. To fvck is sweet and testosterone should be satisfied. Those who complain that our ladies are doing hook-ups are men who cannot afford it. My issue is when they criticise these ladies, as if the women sleep with themselves. Dash the average Nigerian man bonus, and he would spend it on toto.

Nigerian men are solely responsible for the rise in hook-up. The poor men amongst them should lament to the richer folks not smart and beautiful girls taking advantage of an enormous demand for toto services.

I bet you if things start moving well, na every weekend person go dey chop 'marriage party rice'.
An average Nigerian love to get married, it's just few celebraties who are misguided that try to deceive others. Most of those celebraties are bad influence to the youth, what people don't understand is that being a celebrity does not equate to moral standards.
An economical viable society will result to a happy people especially in an African settings. Oyibo people are just too weird in their way of life. With all the availability of social amenities in the developed world, they are still depressed. Our culture has really played a great impact in shaping the mindset of an average Nigerian. It makes one to be very resilient.
We just hope for a better country. Life is to be enjoyed and not meant for unnecessary gender battles

Bros, forget those celebrities. They are in the miniority. Netizens will say celebrities are making them afraid of marriage as if their own parents and extended families don divorce finish. Our cultures encourage marriages, the reason marriage rates are pretty high in South East Asia, Middle East and South America. In East Asia, it is due to the rising cost of living that makes a rising number to postpone/shelve marriage entirely, not that they don't wish to marry. Even in the west, it is the mumus that scream no to marriage whereas their elites are marrying (man to woman o), having children and staying put. It is the misfits that say otherwise.

9japride:
[color=#006600][/color]

You spoke well, though our lifestyle and those of the developed world are totally different. Those Ndi feminist are a problem to a traditional way of relationship. Even their men are trooping to Latin America or Asians to find a wife. Those countries share similarities with African way of life especially when it comes to marriage.

All you have stated here is true.

In developed countries, there are lot opportunities for young lad to get married because things work well. Their labour force don't really need college degrees, a situation where a young person can even work as a cleaner or warehouse worker and he/she can be able to afford a good life. In addition, to their credit system where one can buy household items on credit. But for 9ja, man gats to cough out cash to buy anything. Guy man never fit take care of himself let a lone multiple mouths.

While the rest of this post is true, the bold is not really true. But I do agree that there exists social mobility and many economic opportunities for even the most ambitious truck-pusher or factory worker. For instance, the CHIPS Act in the US will usher in many high-paying jobs, even for those without a college degree.

During GEJ time a lot of people got married. I just feel those in charge of the affairs of the country deliberately make things difficult for people. They all know what they are doing. A situation were the poor man has no choice and he's then controlled by money. Such a pity. I believe your circle of friends are doing well. Though a lot of people below the average income earners still get married, but those who grew up at the average level of financial stability or even above are not getting married due to their expected income is not met.

At the first bold, the average Nigerian politician is very wicked and cruel. This stems from the fact that the average Nigerian can be very wicked to his neighbour, especially if the person is of a different ethnic group. The politicians in Nigeria do not come from another place. They are also Nigerians and are supported by fellow Nigerians, even those who later relocated support these politicians.

At the second bold, the way I see it, unless there is a marked economic difference between a bachelor and a married man, the latter tends to be better economically placed than the former. That is, those males who got married are doing pretty well. On the other hand, average income earners do marry - the truth is: the average Nigerian, male or female, looks forward to getting married. The percentage of those who wish not to get married for whatever reason, even if they are doing well financially, is very low. Their views just get the widest attention due to tweets, posts & videos, but the percentage is very low.

As for my direct classmates/schoolmates, most are females, and like I stated, almost all are married. Even the ones who flirted in school are married and have children. I know too many, which is why alfa meil posts dey make me laugh. Nigerian men will keep marrying non-virgins no matter what they whine about. The single ones wish to remain so, not because they do not have suitors. In fact, I know two that if they say they are marrying next week Saturday, they will get wedded.

The problem in this country is that we pay too much emphasis on higher institution degrees. Unskilled workers are not appreciated and it's not a must one must go to university/polytechnic before one can live a good life. If not for wickedness and archaic mentality of those who usually get close to power, why can't they make the industrial and agricultural sectors to work? Even if seaports in other southern states were working, it will provide direct and indirect jobs for people in those areas and young guys will happily start a family. Lagos state is just too small to have everything, it will choke one day. They should have spread development to other states so as to make sure everyone benefits from the goodies in Nigeria

.

Well, to be fair, semi-skilled workers are appreciated in countries where the population is very low, and the economy is very prosperous. In highly populated countries that are not prosperous, labour becomes very cheap, thus, leading to poor wages for those without university degrees. An instance is the Philippines and Indonesia. Contrast is the US and Switzerland. The higher the population of a country and the poorer it is, the lower the wages for semi-skilled workers.

Secondly, yes, by ensuring ports in the South-South work just as those in Lagos, economic opportunities will spread across the country. The other day, Udom of Akwa Ibom was lamenting how approval for the Ibom Deep Seaport has not materialised upon his continuous request, whereas that of Lekki was quickly approved. If the IDSp works, it makes no sense for someone in Cross River, Benue or Adamawa to move to Lagos to earn good money or export his/her products. It is a major reason I admire the US. Very few Texans move to California for economic opportunities unless the salaries are very high or it is very specialised. Why should he or she move when there are so many economic opportunities within the oil industry (excluding tech, biotech, logistics, manufacturing etc)?

Another thing is security. There are families which own massive farmlands in Nebraska and Iowa which have had generations working there, and they make good money coupled with support from research institutes and the government. Nothing bothers them with Fulani herdsmen. They cultivate, harvest and ship their crops to buyers worldwide via the nearest states with ports. If Nigeria was working as even Brazil, why should a family abandon their farmland in Plateau or Kaduna and move to Abuja doing menial jobs where they could make consistent revenues in those northern states? The farmer in Benue will have nothing to do in Abuja or Lagos, just cultivate and transport via Rivers or Akwa Ibom. I once envisaged the lifestyle - own farmlands in Plateau or Taraba, cultivate, process, package and transport to the world via Rivers or Akwa Ibom. But security is paramount as one needs a sense of stability.

Also, due to the low cost of living in the north, many southerners who found it too hard to compete in the south would have moved there. Simply obey the customs, do your business/work and live a simple life. Most individuals worldwide do not aim to be wealthy but just want a society that provides security, prospects and average economic opportunities. It is why very few citizens of richer countries migrate to other countries, and even when they do, they migrate to their richer counterparts.

Our ladies are more family oriented, it's just unfortunate that those incharge of governance are just plain wicked people who don't value the people they govern.
A lot of people don't know that having a bad leader especially in Nigeria, has a way of affecting their lifestyle negatively. Leaders in this country have so much power in wish they should use in a positive way but normally na wickedness them sabi. For example, what happens a lot in states, is that the governors don't develop areas that didn't vote for them and they still carry such archaic mentality to the national level by encouraging marginalization of opposition regions. All these leads to increase in poverty level and finally a decrease in the number of people getting married

[/quote]That is what Ndi alfa meils do not know. Our women are actually very family-oriented, but successive years of economic penury and insecurity have destabilised households making them toil endlessly when ordinarily, women are not built for that. Na why I dey always preach say Nigerian men have failed their women. https://www.nairaland.com/6643241/nigerian-men-failed-women

Developing a country is not difficult these days. There are many templates to choose from; tweak them and paste. South Korea copied the Japanese, the Japanese copied the westerners. China copied the Singaporeans, and so on. The last eight years have been terrible for most Nigerians, and should they vote for Tinubu, it is going to be catastrophic.

ednut1:
This one is a troll . See his old posts lol

https://www.nairaland.com/7548969/visit-ramphosa-president-biden

Make God dey pity these people na. It is not fair. How human being go just useless like this?

9japride:
OP you should be asking what's the number of gainfully employed adult males in the country? Is it not when a man is gainfully employed or has a sustainable source of income before he can then think of marriage? I just feel it's usually kids that open all these kind of childish post. Election is February, many youths will still vote in misfits and then begin to wonder why the country is not moving forward. So from which place will the females get married, when the available suitors are limited? Majority of the males in that age bracket have not even balance themselves financially, before they can even think of marriage. Things will only get worst when misfits and irresponsible people get hold of the highest position in the country. Vote wisely and avoid 8 years of misrule by funny characters.

This is especially true in a conservative country like Nigeria. During Jonathan's era, marriages were at an all-time high. These topics were not abundant as they are today on Nairaland. The frustration was minimal. In a conservative country, when the economy is good, people get married. The same holds even in liberal societies. However, the rise in single-hood in developed societies has more to do with the rise in Ndi feminism, the high cost of living and raising children, the high cost of housing and the rise in individualism.

But then, this topic depends on a person's perspectives and environment. Almost ALL my female classmates/friends/acquaintances have married. Some are even pregnant for their second or third baby. The single ones are those who wish to be single in the meantime. Only one male has gotten married, but older males on Facebook have also gotten married and bore children. In fact, I can only recall four who are single. Yet every post of theirs talks about wishing to marry. Anytime I see this topic, it does not correlate with what I see on Facebook and Instagram. The rate might have dropped, but people will always get married.

tensazangetsu20:
I am referring to black Africa. The Arab countries are all better. I have been to Morocco and European level infrastructure but in black Africa no country compares to Nigeria except south Africa.

Botswana and Namibia.

If you nack this, na HIV/AIDS you go collect in full dose.

TWOWAYMIRROR:
She looks so dirty

They are always dirty. People that dress in such a manner, male or female, always look dirty. The more indecent a lady looks in an attire, the dirtier she is or looks or harbours so much dirt.

AfolayanBig:
This is why I like Arab Countries. Try this in Qatar or Saudi Arabia, Not to talk of Afghanistan.

Society need to control these animals

So, why are you not living there or plan to move there? As indecent it looks, many people across the world would rather move to South Africa than those two Middle Eastern nations all things been equal.

Kobojunkie:
As opposed to the case in the North, what has been in existence in the south is the wickedness of some of the worst kinds — marriage abandonment. It is divorce too but sadly, for those abandoned, it is a sentence that is worse than divorce, as they are left to live in the shame of being abandoned, hoping the one who abandoned them will someday remember them and come back to make them whole again. It's a fate that no one should wish on even his worst enemy as children raised in such situations are left scared by it for life, wondering why they were abandoned and hoping they could get a second chance to do better.

Maybe those days, not these days with women's empowerment, greater economic opportunities, and a rise in individualism. Yes, it gets tough for a single-parent, male or female, but better prospects these days than in the '80s.

Kobojunkie:
I think you have this backward. What you see as marriage culture today is a culmination of societal practices and ideas/traditions that have been in place for at least the last 50 to 60 years in southern Nigeria. I say southern Nigeria because the North has been much different in its handling of marriage and issues related to marriage during that same time.


So, you shouldn't be concerned about what you call "wokeism" yet. Your attention should instead be directed at understanding where your ancestor went wrong as far as marriage to have led to what you see today.

That is why I like you - debating with facts.

So, based on that paper, divorce has tay'd. Hopefully, people stop parroting the tale that divorce rates were not rampant throughout Nigeria. It is even easier to divorce in Northern Nigeria than the south. Islam offers options for divorce.

omonnakoda:
guy I hope everything is okay with your mother?
Do not come attacking the for no reason it will not end well.
There is no reason to start name calling that you won't finish.
Me I won't start but I will finish
Be warned
Watch your mouth
Your mouth no big pass my own

Typical. I had to even go through my post again to see if I insulted you, but found nothing.

You are no different from Tinubu. Cry all you want!

The dementia man is not only crude in his speeches, but arrogant, stoopid, senile, unintelligent, brazenly corrupt and a toxic tribalist who is surrounded by religious bigots and jihadists.

Better Atiku than this idiot!

Tektronics12:
Udom has a House in Lagos. Why is he Living in Lagos and Not Akwa Ibom. Answer Tinubu if you get Mind.

Udom studied at Unilag and started his career even before Tinubu returned to Nigeria from exile. Did you not listen to where Udom said the financial resources Tinubu got was from his desk and needed his approval?

omonnakoda:
This tin pain Udom
When you see men with large egos carrying swagger sticks you can tell deep down they feel small. They are all the same in the SS. DEMIGODS
Tinubu has always talked carelessly. We know him for that in Lagos
Disgraceful

You are not any different from Tinubu, at least, Tinubu was honest and said his mind. A governor from the opposition offered all necessary support and respect only to insult him? Was that how Peter Obi did when he campaigned there?

I am glad the election is on, young Nigerians from ethnic minority groups would see the true colours of you hypocrites.

franchasng:
They keep telling us about Lekki Deep Seaport Tinubu and Lagos state built but listen how Akwa Ibom Governor Udom Emmanuel destroyed their propaganda.

They hate to see developments go to Southeast or Southsouth, they want all development to be in Lagos, they use Federal government policies to deprive Southeast and Southsouth developmental projects and then they will turnaround and claim Lagos is the only progressive state after sabotaging other regions.

Udom Emmanuel said he has been applying to APC federal government for a license to build a Deep Seaport in Akwa Ibom but they refused to attend to him because they hate development in Southeast and Southsouth but when Lagos applied they quickly granted them and after building it today they are using it to brag.

Una eyes go de clear one by one

I noticed it. He was pained when he explained it. He just did not want to go further and ask why was Lagos granted approval, but Akwa Ibom has not. To even think that Akwa Ibom proposed port has a natural deep shoreline. I won't be surprised if he votes for Peter Obi as he understands how Nigeria is structured.

nameo:
Lolz.... i just finished watching the interview and El rufai has finally confirmed what some of us have been saying here for sometime:



3. He also said that from the polls they conducted, Obi will sweep the Southeast(we knew that); will do well in the south south(code word for saying he will win but not as much as with the SE- again we knew that); he also said Obi will not do so well in the southwest except in Lagos(again we know he will not win the SW altho he will win Lagos. PS: the other specific polls done in the SW recently by APC clearly show that Obi's momentum in the SW is increasing and that he is generally in 2nd place); he then said that Obi will do well in the christain parts of the north(of course we knew that too); but that he will be flopped in most other parts of NW and NE(we also always knew that this was Obi's biggest weakness in the elections but thank God that that zone will be shared by 3 strong Candidates- Atiku, Tinubu and Kwankawaso , so there will be no "block" votes for anybody from there).

4. El rufai finally said that Obi will either win or get 25% from about 16 states.

major candidates in the elections, means that " Jungle don really dey mature" for these useless politicians both in the PDP and APC.

Good take aways for Obi from this interview. Obi has exceeded all expectations and he will win this

Most likely, a run-off will be the outcome if the trio contest without KwanKwaso stepping down for either Atiku or Tinubu. Then, the second round will see KK drop out for either AA or BAT. Until the results are announced, I don't believe Peter Obi will win the election. To be really honest, he cannot win in the first round (if it eventually gets to a second round).

https://www.nairaland.com/7225545/why-peter-obi-step-down

omonnakoda:
Udom
The boy?

I don't understand your post o.

yaki84:
U r speaking in the form of nse ntuen, i guess u know him.
One thing i like udom emmanuel is, once the project is about high ROIs l, he must surely complete it so he will benefit one way or the other
Example is ibomair. Money spinning enterprise.
Seaport is not like constructing road or bridges, once the water level nd depth is okay, all needed is the platform, structures that will house different agencies like SON, nafdac etc. In this case the preferred bidder and also investors are on ground already. So work will commence soonest.

So, has it been completed?

Open mouth waaaaaaa

marlow1962:
Modern marriages are nothing but a transactional agreement between two morons.

Everybody now marries because of pussy,breast,nyash and money. You better die that idea of love when it comes to marriage.

It was definitely not like this during the times of our mum and dad, nowadays u can’t even ask a lady out, so just get ur money and watch gold diggers come ur way all in the name of “I love u”.

I have been truthful to myself long gone that if I can’t find a good woman ( I am not talking about old cargos that are now trying to be all nice and calmly cus their time is now ticking faster then x3), I am definitely going for the baby mama option.

Everybody out there is hunting for who they can use, and ain’t want to be tha 1.

Society has made it that, love can now be bought (wtf), I will NEVER buy love. Loving/getting married to me for what I am and not for who I am (nahh that’s crazy)

Love does not exist. Maybe like, but not love. However, contrary to your initial statement, marriages from time immemorial have always been transactional. This belief that love sustains marriage is a lie - it has always been what do you bring to the table?. BTW, human relationships are largely transactional. The issue, in my opinion, has been the rise in feminism, as it has disrupted the initial arrangement. So, there has been a sort of clash of ideologies where people want to do gender equality practices in a traditional setting. While gender equality is good for the economy (more participants in the economy for companies to employ and tax revenues to be generated), it does not work in households. In fact, the more gender equal a society is, the fewer the number of marriages and a decline in birth rates. Examples abound across the world. As more women are educated and enter the workforce, they tend to postpone marriage and childbearing.

As for the bold, it is more expensive than marrying a woman. You cannot build wealth or adequately raise children within a baby-mama setting. I once had a similar thought and found out by reading research papers and articles that children raised within a two-parent household have better outcomes than those raised in a single-parent, especially for single mothers. For instance, in the US, single fathers out-earn their single mothers counterparts. In Japan, single mothers make up a significant proportion of people living in poverty. In the US, like elsewhere in the developed and even developing world, married couples out-earn their single counterparts and have bigger investments and tax benefits. Also, within the Nigerian context, you cannot "control" a baby-mama as she has no legal connection with you beyond childbearing. Children, to be properly raised, need the input of both parents except for unforeseen circumstances. That happens more frequently in a two-parent household than that in a single-parent. It is expensive to raise children in such a setting, even more so in Nigeria, where the gov't does not give a damn.

I call it youthful exuberance, but people should look at the facts. It is better to be single and contribute your time to charitable outreaches than trying to be get a baby-mama, who will later get married as a typical Nigerian female. The exception will be middle-aged people who later adopt children, but for younger people (20s - 30s), the best bet is to get married.

---

---

That aside, notwithstanding the narratives pushed out that marriage is not good or Nigerian men are scum or the women are not good for marriage, people are always getting married. In fact, all the girls I know that were sexually liberal during school days don marry, including the conservative ones. All this "Nigerian men must insist on marrying virgins" does not exist in real life. Also, I have never read a married man written about being an alfa meil. Not once. Anytime I open Facebook or Instagram, I see photos of classmates/friends/acquaintances who just wedded and so far, none has divorced. In fact, dem don born like three children. All the rants on Twitter na youthful exuberance. Generally, as people get older, they become more conservative. As for the west, married people live longer and have happier lives. Research papers have been published to know this.

I can't wait to see the outcomes of those who practice wokeism to the very end, especially those in Nigeria.

Abi1985:
Some people must do wedding by force by fire sha so they can pepper their enemy. After wedding night and Honeymoon phase is done, reality set in and they found out the person that they marry is different from the person that they were dating. Then 8 months or 6 years later, they are divorcing.
Marriage is serious business and one should take time to know the person properly before marrying the person. Do not marry because you getting old or your elders are disturbing you to marry. Do not marry because she get nash or he is rich- know the person well. Do not marry someone and keep big secrets e.g you have a child and your future spouse does not know or you rob or kidnap for a living. Because after person spend millions of naira on wedding , you are on your own.
If you are abroad, you divorce your spouse- the woman take half and if you get pikin- you must pay child support by force

Obviously, that is true, Compassion, compromise, forgiveness, tolerance, honesty etc., should be at the forefront of being with a partner. There is always that honeymoon period when you achieve what you have always wanted. But what next after the honeymoon period? Taking care of the family, your time gets rationed, caring for babies, planning for the future as a household not just yourself etc.

Ammmy:
It's not easy being a single lady without a job now o. The economic situation of this country is now that bad.

When a man meets a woman in Nigeria now, he starts asking her where she works, what she does for a living, especially those hungry guys looking for a woman to compliment their finances.

If u say u don't have a job, they stop talking to you, forgetting that someone who has no job may be financially okay.

When has it become a must for a woman to have something doing? Men are meant to take care of women and spend for them and not the other way round.

In those days, nobody cares if a woman earns money or not.

The end result of Ndi gender equality. Shey you people wanted feminism? Equal rights beget equal responsibilities. Minutes ago, I saw one on Twitter complaining the man demanded 50:50, yet the same lady few days ago said she won't be friends with men who don't esposue gender equality.

seborrhic:
That is if you don't ever have intention of coming back or retiring in Nigeria.
So when you come for holidays for eg or to attend a ceremony involving relations in Nigeria,that is how you would be jumping up and down in hotels each time you travel down?

Except the person wants to retire, as for the bold, it makes sense to stay in hotels. What is the point of having a property where one stays for less than a month per year? With insecurity, it even gets worse. Imagine someone with a property in Owerri or parts of Kaduna. Why spend so much hard-earned resources erecting a property that is not safe? The same applies to having properties in the village if the person visits there for few months.

The economic logic does not make sense to me, especially as Nigeria is not as safe as previously.