₦airaland Forum

I have to comment again when I re-read the OP's post and realized that he's only 5"3. Omo, with that height, the Lord's your strength. Even in Nigeria you will struggle to get women not to talk of the West. I'm 5'7 and I have to make TWICE the effort to impress chicks. I can only imagine what someone of your height is going through. OP, i believe that your best option would be to travel down to Nigeria and find a wife. That's your best. Sorry mate.

Sorry bro! It's not easy as a man in the west these days! I have said it several times on this forum that if you spent all your formative years in Nigeria including university and NYSC, it would be very difficult to adapt to the dating market abroad as the mentality of foreign women is completely different from Nigerian women. Foreign women have standards. They don't just sleep with any guy. You have to be good looking, tall, muscular and financially okay before they can consider giving you a chance. The west is not Nigeria where your looks and height don't matter as long as you can provide.

The fact of the matter is that Nigerian guys are not hotcakes abroad. The biggest myth is that white women are desperate for black men. The only black men that attracts their fancy are african american men. How many times have you seen hot white girls in their prime (18-25) chasing after black men especially average looking black men? Let's be real with ourselves, Nigerian men (including myself) are average looking and not in the best shape.

As for the women here having a laugh at the OP's expense, I hope you lots know that Nigerian women have it worse abroad than Nigerian men. There's a reason why many Nigerian women born and bred abroad are moving to Nigeria to find a husband. The ones who grew up in Nigeria have it worse.

I would never discourage anyone from immigrating abroad. I'm a product of Japa. The reason I became an immigration lawyer is to encourage people who desire to migrate abroad. My advice to people is that if you want to japa, do it with sense. Do it legally, Ensure that you have enough money to fund your trip. Immigrating now is not the same as it was 20 or even 15 years ago. Things have changed. Many countries are tightening their borders.

dealhunter:
it's someone like you that normally discourage people...

Hi, no i haven't really. My schedule as a lawyer doesn't allow me time for that. It would have to be when I'm doing a tour of Europe.

ferhyntorlah:
@gforce5

Hi, have you travelled to Montenegro like you say you would?

That's quite cheap and affordable. I was going by the figures I see on Embassy websites. I actually don't need a visa to travel to Europe as I have a second passport. Been a dual national since 2014. Nevertheless, I will look into travel hack and pass it over to my clients.

HRprof:
OP I travel with low budget less than what you mentioned. I have been to Europe with 500k including flight tickets .
Visa fee is not upto 150k you mentioned if done DIY. {Agent dey use una open office)
Do you know what is called TRAVEL HACK ? I use the formula to travel with very low budget.
If you book early flight to Europe you can get 350k return tickets.
Visa fee to Europe is not up to 80k
You can get free accommodation or cheap hostel and Food is very cheap eat from local
I will be heading to 3 different countries in the few months from now and I will document my trip and create a thread to teach how to travel with low budget. 😎😎

True. I recently flew KLM and the airfare was about $745 which was not bad at all. As for those easy countries, well, I've always said that no serious country would easily issue out visas to Nigerians as our compatriots have this knack for abusing the hospitality of their hosts. Easy visas means that all caliber of Nigerians will flood that country and abuse the system. Nigerians are just lawless and stubborn. They don't like to listen. I mean, who goes to an Arab country to practice cultism and prostitution??

ednut1:
Depending of when you buy tickets there are flights of 600k to 800k to Europe and North America. The 1.2m is for those buying at short notice like a week or 2 before travel. The bitter truth is that many of those countries with easy immigration have been shown pepper by Nigerians and dont want us anymore. Each day where to japa for Nigerians becomes limited and hard. Just see what some Nigerians are doing in india, South Africa, Cyprus, china, indonesia,.Singapore etc

I referenced other African countries as that money can go a long way in those countries. The only downside is that their passports are useless internationally (with the exception of Botswana, South Africa and Namibia). I always recommend Brazil to clients/strangers but the problem is the distance (no direct flights) ease of acquiring a Brazilian visa and costs (the most economically viable region in Brazil is in the south and its living expenses aren't cheap).

tensazangetsu20:
That's not true. Not every country is the USA and Canada. 3 million can still take you to countries like Brazil if you can get admitted to their schools since theres no tuition fees. The 3 million can be spent on flight tickets and initial living expenses for like 3 months. Someone having 3 million and going to another African country is stupidity.

I have been seeing threads in the travel section about the cost of japaing. You have people throwing silly figures such as N2 million, N2.5million or even N1.5 million. These people are not serious about migrating. That amount was decent 10 years ago but not now.Let me tell you something, the cost of a holiday abroad alone (North America & Europe) right now is nothing less than N3 million. Flight tickets alone costs nothing less than N1.2 million depending on the airline. If you don't have a second passport, then you need a visa to travel to all of these destinations. The average cost of visas is usually about N150K. You will need a transit visa if you are not flying direct. That's close to N500k for two different visas. How about accommodation? If you are traveling to a country where you don't know anyone, you have to set aside at least N1 million depending on the duration of your stay. What about daily living expenses such as food, cloths, transport and goods? All that will set you back another N1million.

All I have mentioned above is just for tourism. If you want to japa, you have to come up with double the amount if you don't want to be stranded abroad. Even migrating to countries in Central and South America costs money. If you don't have up to N8million in your account please forget about Japaing to the west. The only places you can immigrate to are other African countries such as Ivory Coast, Senegal, Kenya and Rwanda. Even Ghana is no longer affordable for Nigerians. It's better to invest that small sum on a side hustle that will generate bigger income. When the time comes, you can buy a second passport via citizenship by investment like the 1% are doing and travel abroad at your own convenience. My two cents.

The OP's mentality is what is wrong with most Nigerian men who spent all their formative and young adult years in Nigeria. They are too hyperactive when it comes to sex. Nigerian men who grew up in Nigeria are used to getting cheap p**s because of the poverty level in that country. In Nigeria, you can entice a lady with just sharwarma and ice cream. You cannot try that abroad. Even in liberal countries like Holland, girls will never sleep with you on the same day except they are VERY drunk and they find you to be very attractive.

I'm glad that the OP has realized that Nigerian men aren't hot cakes abroad. It's a lie that has been peddled around for too long. White women don't fancy black guys like that especially recent African immigrants. Even black women who were born and bred abroad aren't crazy about Nigerian men like that. They see us as desperados looking for papers. Once they hear your accent it's "exit, stage, left". The issue with our brothers who spent most of their lives in Nigeria is that they have been programmed to believe that the only way to get women is having money. Money is very important yes but it is not enough. You see this abroad, women go for tall and good-looking men. They like men that have muscles, rugged looks and tall like Morris Chestnut or Tyrese. Most Nigerian men, including myself, are not in that category. A lot of Nigerian men don't have a six-pacs. Most of them don't have muscles, aren't tall and are average looking. This means that you already have a lot going against you.

It's easier if you moved to the west at a younger age (teens-late 20s) as you would be able to adjust to the system. Attending high school and university abroad is a massive advantage that many people take for granted. It enables you to assimilate into the system at a faster rate than those who attained all their academic qualifications in Nigeria. My advice to you would be to improve yourself physically, academically and financially. You need to dress well. Look at the latest fashion trends in Canada and run with it.

OP, as someone who lived in the UK for over a decade and is also an immigration lawyer, I will tell you that the UK is not an ideal destination for now. As a previous poster said, the country is in a recession at the moment. They just don't want to declare it a recession so as not to create a panic. Brexit has made things difficult.

For now, let's discuss the two issues you have. One, you have kids who are under the age of 11. I can tell you for free that child care in the UK is very expensive. Any mistake can lead to child services taking your kids away from you. I lived with my uncle and his family for a long time. Raising their kids in the UK wasn't easy at all. This is despite the fact that he and his spouse literally grew up in the UK. It would have been easier if you had relatives/friends in the UK who can take care of your kids while you work. The second problem is dating life. Let me be blunt: it's not easy for someone in your position to have a well-meaning relationship in the west let alone the UK. Nigerian women aren't really high in the dating pool abroad especially the UK. There's a reason why so many Nigerian women abroad are complaining about loneliness. Even the ones who were born and bred there move to Nigeria to find a husband. Nigerian men abroad prefer other black women or chase after white women for papers.

Now in my own opinion, you should focus on what you are doing in Nigeria for now. When you have generated enough money, you can Japa to a non-english speaking country like Brazil which is similar to Nigeria in mentality. You can become a Brazilian citizen within 5 years or so. Cost of living in Brazil is cheaper and you can hire nannies to take care of your little ones at a cheaper rate. Most European countries don't have that option. The whole purpose of Japa is to acquire citizenship of a foreign country which will enable you to move in and out of Nigeria without a hassle. Think about what I just said.

Definitely, tribalism is the worst. The average Nigerian is too tribalistic to elect a decent leader. We see everything from a tribal lense. It's so bad that Nigerians can never come together to demand good governance due to tribalism. As long as their brother is there, nothing else bothers them. Forget those people man. They aren't worth the stress and headache.

Iqtest:
💯 you said it all.
But i think tribalism is one of the major problem of this country.
If the electorate can shun tribalism and vote the right candidate irrespective of tribe or religion. The country will definitely start working

It's not going to happen because of the following factors: tribalism, religious intolerance, corruption and limited foresight. The latter being the most important as our leaders lack foresight and don't plan for the future. Nigeria as a country, has been used to mediocrity for many years that it is very difficult to create an acceptable standard for the nation.

Iqtest:
You are absolutely right. 👍, 50-70% of tourists in my hotel were mostly Americans and Europeans.
Morocco is currently one of the biggest tourist destinations in world,the government are really making huge revenues from tourism.
Wish Nigeria government could invest more in tourism like other Africa nations

OP, i am disappointed in you. Why waste your time replying an ignoramus?? 90% of people on this forum have not seen the four walls of an international airport. Majority of them are ignorant of nations outside Nigeria. All they know is UK, US, Canada, Australia and Germany. Most of them are bitter and frustrated. That's why sensible people don't post their private life on any Nigerian media platform or limit the number of people viewing them due to the jealous and petty nature of the average Nigerian. Nigerians are generally jealous of people who have a better life than them. It's called a crabs in the bucket syndrome. A simple research on google would have informed that ignoramus that Morocco is one of the biggest tourist destinations in the world not just in Africa. Many western celebrities travel there for tourism purposes and a lot of hollywood movies have been filmed there.

Iqtest:
Lol very funny.
I will be going to cairo in a couple of weeks.
Just a tour in the North africa 🌍.
Not what you think

It's mostly those who spent all their formative years in Nigeria and recently japaed that make these kind of noises. You won't see Nigerians who grew up there or left at a young age disturbing social media like this because they are used to it. These guys can't cope with the culture shock. They document their experience as a coping mechanism. Something my generation couldn't do 20 years ago before the popularity of Youtube and blogging.

thesicilian:
Why is it that most people who relocate abroad suddenly become YouTubers and bloggers?

Bros, as Ednut said earlier, with this age disparity that girl doesn't see a future with you. At your age, you ought to have roughly 10 years work experience and have graduated from uni at least decade ago. That study route is going to be very hard for someone of your age bracket. Do you even have the funds to study in the States? Traveling abroad is a very expensive venture. I hope you know that? The fact that you don't even know the different routes to utilize for immigration is a red flag. A man of your age should be taking charge. You need to understand something. That woman is pushing 30. Time is not on her side. Every decision counts. She doesn't want to venture into a marriage of economic uncertainty. Women are hypergamous like that. There's no guarantee that she would get a visa either as getting a US visa is purely by luck and with the high delays and rejections these days, it's even more difficult. My advise to you would be to raise capital and migrate to a sane African country (Cote D'Ivoire, Senegal, Namibia) establish yourself then you can decide to immigrate to the US from there.

Lifeinbits:
For those of you thinking I am young, I am a 40 years old man while my girlfriend is 28 years old. We had some conversation this morning and it's so glaring that she wants me to go through the study route or try another country then she can come and join me. She said that going as a dependent means I want to settle for crumbs while i can also get the big bones. And I am insisting to her that it's doesn't matter even if F2 does not work, I can always do under the table job.

My friend, as the poster above me stated, it's more to do with citizenship than Nigerian doctors. Parents want to give their children options as the Nigerian passport is useless. Foreign citizenship means that they can travel abroad unrestricted. Having your child in a country that grants them automatic citizenship via birth means that the said child can live and work in that country in the future. It's not just a Nigerian thing/black thing. Many people from developing countries are guilty of birth tourism. Nigerian doctors are only one of the numerous reasons why Nigerians are having their children outside the country.

Too many ignorant people in this forum and the country as a whole. Applying for a visa goes beyond japa/immigration. People travel abroad for a variety of reasons such as tourism, education, business, work and conferences. Not everything is about Japa. If you lots think that next President will miraculously transform Nigeria overnight then you are delusional and need to wake up. Nigeria's problems runs deeper than the Presidency. It is a societal and systematic problem. A lot of Nigerians travel abroad and abuse the system with impunity. Nigerians carry their lawlessness abroad without thinking of their compatriots who would suffer the consequences of their misdeeds.

Another thing, a visa is a priviledge not a right. It is at the issuing country's discretion to determine whether you are qualified/worthy of getting the visa or not. They don't care about your status in society.

Despite all the noise Nigerians make about making money in Nigeria and becoming self-employed, they cannot create a business empire that would stand the test of time and transcend multiple generations. It is a well-known fact that most businesses in Nigeria collapse after the death of the founder. You only have to go back to the likes of Cardoso De La Rocha to Emeka Ojukwu to Deinde Fernandez to understand what I'm talking about. Even revered MKO's businesses collapsed once he was incarcerated. Where is Concord Newspaper today? Dead. Where are his food processing factories? Dead. Airlines? Dead. Kola (the oldest) was old enough to know all of his father's businesses and associates. What did he do to keep the family business alive? Nothing. MKO's businesses, if managed properly, would have been sufficient enough to support all his kids and create employment thereby improving the GDP of the country.

Look at Sonny Odogwu. The man passed away leaving his family with a lot of debts. HIS OWN HOUSE has now been used as a collateral to settle his many debts. This could have been prevented by hiring a lawyer and financial adviser who would have advised him on the best course of action. See what happened to Diamond Bank. Pascal Dozie (the owner) left the bank at the hands of a son (Uzoma) who spent most of his life abroad and didn't understand the banking culture of Nigeria. The Ibru family are also suffering from this as Michael Ibru's siblings and kids are squabbling over his several businesses.

The reasons for all of this is simple. Lack of succession plan. Most African businessmen don't groom their intended successor in time. In developed climes, heirs to large family dynasties are groomed from a young age to take over from their parents. This starts when they are in the university. They (intended successors) intern for the business during their summer vacations starting from the bottom and working their way up to the top. In Nigeria, on the other hand, the heirs of big conglomerates are kept away from the family business and spend most of their time abroad. This prevents them from having an understanding of the business climate in Nigeria. Another problem is that most business owners in Nigeria own majority of the shares of their companies and are answerable to no one but themselves. There are no shareholders to hold them accountable for their actions.

There are exceptions of course such as the Dantata family dynasty to which Aliko Dangote belongs. A lot of law firms have been existence before independence and are ran by second/third generation lawyers. These are exceptions though. Fact remains that most family business and fortunes don't last beyond a generation due to lack of foresight.

Nigerians in the diaspora own a lot of businesses. The issue is that those businesses don't last beyond a generation the same way most businesses in Nigeria don't survive after the founder's death. Lack of long-term planning, division within the family and the inability of the next generation to take the business to the next level due to lack of grooming.

Another problem is that Nigerians (blacks in general) don't have the sense of unity that the Chinese, Indians, Lebanese and other ethnic nationalities have. In the UK ,for example, where I resided for many years, Indians own most of the corner shops. There is a strong sense of unity and purpose that we Nigerians simply don't have. The Indians and Chinese employ their people before anybody else and invest in a lot of money in their community. That cannot be said of Nigerians and other blacks due to factors such as greed, distrust and a crabs in a bucket mentality of hating on someone who is more successful than you. That's also the reason why dating a fellow Nigerian in the west is also hard due to this mutual distrust and clash of egos.

Even in Nigeria it's the same problem. Most business owners such as Dangote and Adenuga prefer to hire foreigners to run their businesses than their fellow Nigerians due to mistrust. We are very wicked to each other.

I cannot believe that you, the OP, brought such a sensitive topic to a toxic and anonymous forum like Nairaland. Are you new to this forum or something? You expect strangers, most of whom are tribalistic and misorgynists, to give their opinion on a private issue. Don't you have friends, senior family members, village elders and neighbors you can talk to? Since her mode of dressing is a big issue, you should have informed your girl to dress modestly whenever your mum or other family members are around. Be in charge man. By now, you should know that Nigeria is a conservative society, in name, and Nigerians are a very judgmental set of people. Be in charge mate.

Yes oh! APC starts and ends with Buhari. Tinubu supporters are so deluded that they can't see the writing on the wall. You want to vote for a candidate from the same party that has caused you hardship in the past 8 years simply because he's your guy? Make it make sense!

truthsayer009:
Yes and I hope that happens, he has completed his 8 years. Therefore bye bye to APC lmao

Buhari's body language has already revealed that he has no interest in seeing Tinubu becoming President of Nigeria. He just used APC as a platform for his own gains and is now dismantling it in such a way that they can't win the election. If a siting President of a country is not in support of his own party, then that spells doom for the party. We all saw what happened when Obj turned his back on PDP. Jonathan suffered badly in the polls.

truthsayer009:
For the first time I am looking to support anyone Buhari is supporting because i know he isn't planning for APC to win.

I said it a few years ago that southerners are politically short-sighted. The North has just made it clear that they aren't supporting any southern candidate and here you have yorubas and igbos insulting each other as usual. Tinubu supporters are even insulting the Northerners whose votes they need to win the election ! Man, you lots are idiots. I stated some time ago that if southerners put their egos to the side and worked with those from the North Central, this wouldn't be happening. Alas, lack of foresight is the biggest problem for southerners.

Well done bro. Women from other African countries are the best especially those from non-english speaking countries. They are very simple and don't stress you out. These women are mad pretty. A lot of my friends abroad are now going for other African women.

kunle75:
I had ported since,even in the process of formalizing my intentions self,Tanzanian women are extremely cute and calm
No demand or whatsoever since I met her and very beautiful too

OP, you are being oversimplistic in your write up. You need to specify the category of Nigerians in the US and Canada that you are referring to. Is it Nigerians who were born and bred there (1st generation) , those who left at a young age (1-16), or those who spent most of their lives in Nigeria and migrated there for work/ further education (25 and above). If it's the latter, then yes they would struggle as they have spent all their formative years in Nigeria and they have been conditioned to approach women in a certain way. A lot of Nigerian men who grew up in their Nigeria don't know how to approach women. They believe that flashing cash, whistling at women and invading a woman's personal space is enough. That is far from the truth. You need to a good personality and up your game.

It is true that the dating market in the west is tough especially for black men. African men, not only Nigerian men, aren't hot cakes like that. White men are at the top of the dating pool. White women and Asian women prefer white men to black men. However, despite all this, there are many Nigerian guys who get laid in the States (Canada is a different fish entirely). Most of the guys I know that are based in the States are either married or in long-term relationships.

Gentlemen, don't listen to everything the poster is saying. Many Nigerian guys are getting women abroad but they made extra effort to make themselves attractive. I have a family friend who lived in South Cyprus for over a decade. He was a DJ there and was getting babes. Dude is mad short (5ft 6) but was scoring chicks because he made himself attractive to women and is now married to a Ghanian. A class mate of mine from high school is in a long-term relationship with a bird from North Cyprus. If Nigerian men can get women from a racist country like Cyprus, how much more would Nigerian men get in a diverse country like the US??

Bro! It's a good thing you are saying this. I always laugh when Nigerian men say that they are the price overseas . Most Nigerian men are average looking (no homo). So many of them have pot bellies by the time they are 30. So I ask, how do Nigerian guys believe that they are hot cake abroad? I'm an average looking guy myself who's only saving grace is youthful looks despite being in my 30s. I struggle to get chicks despite having lived abroad for over a decade. I left immediately after high school. So if I am saying this, imagine those who spent all their formative years in Nigeria? That's not to say i didn't score but it took a while. Foreign chicks aren't checking out for us like that with the exception of women from other African countries. Another problem Nigerian men have is that they rely on using money to get girls which doesn't work like that abroad. Many Nigerian men have zero game. They don't know how to chat to a woman without money. The worst ones are those who spent all their formative years in Nigeria and migrated in their 20s/30s. It's very difficult for them as their mentality is different. They also have a very strong African accent which doesn't help. In Europe, it's very hard for Nigerian men unless they are at the top of their game.

Gerrard59:
I stated the same few weeks ago:



So, when they say "Nigerian men are loved in the abroad", I am always curious. The vast majority of Nigerian men are ugly (myself included), and this worsens the situation. I have watched videos from recent japa folks in the UK, with the kind of faces they have, I see why fvck eludes them. Nigerian men are not handsome, people should not be deceived by it. I noticed this in a relationship Facebook group I am a member of - almost the dudes were not good-looking compared to the ladies (even without makeup).

Women from other African countries are much more humble than our Nigerian sisters. They are also damn beautiful too. It's our brothers that make these women so entitled. Making them feel bigger than what they actually are. Please port bros. You will never be appreciated here.

kunle75:
I agree with you 💯

I have looked elsewhere, I traveled to Tanzania, the women are not only damn beautiful but also respectful and never demanding.
Me I don port oooo

It's hypocrisy nothing more. These same girls will open their pants for our brothers abroad doing security, retail, plumber and taxi jobs. Yet, they look down on Nigerians in Nigeria doing the same thing. I don't understand. There are so many intelligent uber/bolt drivers out there. Some of them are educated to PHD level. A few them were even based abroad. People (especially women) in this country are just willfully ignorant and elitist for no reason.

kunle75:
You're spot on bro.

Its exactly what's happening to me now,when I was in Lagos and had a good job with an IT firm in lekki they say am not earning enough now am here with same job plus gigs job and they're all over me asking for iPhone and money.

I tell them now,iPhone and money kill dem there

I was even generous lol. Nigeria is actually 100 years behind East Asian countries. We don't even understand how behind we are compared to those countries. The most shameful part of it is that majority of these countries don't have any resources Nothing. Just their population. Their passports are now the strongest in the world. Countries that were dirt poor just under 100 years ago. I just weep for Africa.

Gerrard59:
Nigeria is at least a hundred years behind East Asians. Na South East Asians fit get that description. East Asians should be compared to Western Europeans and North Americans.

OP, South Korea is a very beautiful country. I was there in 2019 for a lawyer's conference. Spent all my time in Seoul. Those guys are very advanced and organized. CCTV cameras at every train station and bus stop. I recommend that you visit the De-militerized zone (DMZ). It's one of the biggest tourist attractions in South Korea. Also, gangnam (the song) is named after the central business district. Nigeria is 30 years behind that country. It's not even funny.

I decided to travel to South Korea last year after developing a huge wanderlust to visit the country. I visited Seoul, Jeonju, Boseong, Namwon and Busan.

I found it to be a very beautiful country. Some of my favourite things include the food, ease of transportation around the country and Korean architecture. I will start off this thread with how I got my visa and how to travel from Nigeria to South Korea.

Feel free to ask me any questions about visiting South Korea. Please note that I do not know much about moving there. I will only be able to respond to questions about visiting as a tourist.

I hope you enjoy the stories. I will post as fast as I can but might be slow too...