₦airaland Forum

Let's not talk about "educated" Nigerians. Most Nigerians are extremely ignorant when it comes to global affairs and knowledge of other countries. I was in South Korea in 2019 for a law conference. Can you imagine that a fellow Nigerian was shocked that South Korea was that developed?? He thought that South Korea was a third world country!!?? The same South Korea that's more advanced than any European country bar Germany. These people are so ignorant and deluded that they don't know that other African countries have left them behind. Even Rwanda is more organized than Nigeria. One doesn't need to travel out to know more about other countries. Google, wikipedia and encyclopedia are just a click away. Nigerians are just too lazy to do any research. That's why they keep voting for idiots year in, year out.

tensazangetsu20:
Most of them are illiterates. its the same way educated Nigerians look down on south America and see it as a haven of drugs and gang violence.

Yes, young people under the age of 35, if you want to migrate out of the country please do so. I even encourage it. The country has made life a living hell for young people. Our parents' generation enjoyed the best of Nigeria but left us with a messed up system. All sectors of the economy are dead with the exception of the entertainment industry. Unemployment is sky high. The few jobs that are available can bare cover the cost of living and the high paying jobs are cornered by those with connections. Business is tough for entrepreneurs due to the cost of importation and other expenses.

It's very understandable that millions of young Nigerians are frustrated and want out. However, abroad is also very tight right now. COVID has a serious impact on many western countries. Their own citizens are struggling to maintain a job. Abroad, you will have to start from scratch as your degree is not rated over there. If you are of a certain age (36 & above), starting over isn't easy. There's also competition for jobs.

People should take the following steps if they want to JAPA successfully. Do some research on the countries you want to migrate to. You have to take it like a PHD thesis. Study everything about your intended destination. Don't just rush there. Look at the pros and cons. If you have the finances, do try to visit those countries so that you can see with your own eyes what's on ground. Think out of the box and look into non-English speaking countries. Nigerians have this mindset that only the U.S., Canada, UK, Australia and Ireland are worth migrating to. Those countries are very expensive. Very competitive and with the exception of Canada have anti-immigration policies.

You want to migrate to a country that guarantees you citizenship within a short period (5-6 years). With dual citizenship, you can always travel back and forth to Nigeria. In fact, it is encouraging to do so. Never put all eggs in one basket. Don't sell all your assets in Nigeria in the name of migrating. Many people lived to regret it. Keep some of it as insurance in case any thing happens to you abroad.

To conclude, Japaing is good but it has to be done sensibly. I am a product of the original JAPA. Living abroad has made me see life from a different perspective that a Nigerian who has lived all his/her live abroad would not understand. Life is all about choices. If you feel that you are doing well in Nigeria then stay put. Otherwise, it's good to explore other options while you are still young.

My brother, you are wasting your time trying to educate these ignorant people. These guys have a local mentality. They don't understand that immigration is a global phenomenon. Even amongst advanced countries there's immigration. The concept of having a second passport is the norm all over the world. Even American citizens like Tina Turner have renounced their citizenship for financial reasons. So many Hollywood stars have dual nationality. A lot of British people are applying for Irish citizenship because of Brexit. No need arguing with people who have never ventured outside the country. Most of them are bitter, frustrated and limited to their environment.

ednut1:
There are Americans, dutch ,indians, chinese etc all over the world who don't go to their home countries regularly. I once stayed in the guest house of a client in port harcourt and met a mexican man there. He has not been to Mexico in 7 years and has even been kidnapped once in Nigeria. But he no go back because he is earning good as an expat here. So whats the big deal if Nigerians do same What is the point of seeing your families or wife when una dey suffer or facing uncertain future ehn A man who can’t provide for his family wont have a family for long. Less than 5% of Nigerians are outside Nigeria too

I don't know why everyone's crying about the number of people migrating out of country. Nigeria is not the only country that has a brain drain problem. It is common in a lot of developing countries. If you look at the actual statistics of the number of people in the diaspora, Nigerians will not even make the top 15 let alone top 10. Just google it. China, India, Philippines and Lebanon have some of the largest number of diaspora in the world. Do you know how many Polish,Armenians and Turkish people live outside their countries of origin? Even within the so called 'developed' world, do you know how many British people are migrating to the US, Canada, Australia and New Zealand on a yearly basis?

We even give inflated figures concerning the number of Nigerians living in the US, UK and Canada. You have several "experts" asserting that Nigeria's population in the UK in 3 million . How can that be when the total number of blacks in the UK is not more than 2 million? As of 2011, the UK's population census estimated the total of ethnic minorities in the country to be about 6 million of which 4 million is comprised of Asians and blacks constituting 2 million. Most blacks in the UK are caribbeans of which the majority are Jamaican. Black Africans as a whole are not more than a million of which 300,000 are Nigerians. So I don't know where we get these inflated figures of 3 million Nigerians from. In the US, Nigerians cannot be more than a million. U.S. is too big for one to inflate figures.

I am not against people migrating. In fact, I whole heartedly support it as the Government has failed its people. My issue with the whole japa thing is that the Government and the masses have blown it way out of proportion. Nigeria's population as of 2022 is 213 million of which 93 million are estimated to be living below the poverty line. How many can afford to migrate?? Instead of complaining about people leaving the country, the Government should be looking for ways to provide a stable environment for the ones living in the country to succeed. If not, what we are seeing now will be nothing compared to what will happen in the next two years.

Dear men, avoid this advice. This is SIMP behaviour pro max. This is mentality is the reason why Nigerian women are the most entitled women in Africa. Men were not created to rescue women from poverty. A man of high value seeks a woman of the same standard as his companion. He does not go for women beneath him. Olumide Akpata (Former NBA President) recently married a woman from a well-to-do family. Do you think he's a fool?? Your President married his only son to the daughter of an Emir. Do you think that he's a fool? Have you ever seen the son of a world leader or from a very elite family marry a girl from the trenches Are you more Alpha than them?? There's a reason why the rich have been able to secure their wealth for more than one generation compared to the poor. I won't say more.

Prometheus666:
Men are designed heavy lifters. We are warriors, masons and mountain climbers. We are the real structures of the Universe. If a girl's father had failed in roofing their home. He is a man like us, so we should, if we can afford to, not just roof the house, but to build a new one.

I find it offensive that the OP is a man. Are men supposed to be competing with women now?

We are built to alleviate poverty. Women are designed to nourish us sexually and nutritionally. And with women, we procreate.

I will always help the poor.

This is a myopic post. It is a post that reeks of entitlement and poverty of the mind. Only women from poor backgrounds reason like this. I have never heard of a woman from a middle class/rich family ask this kind of question. Men are not after women that have money. They want a woman who will contribute to the relationship and not a freeloader/liability. Men who worked hard for their money want a woman who is educated and has a certain degree of financial independence. Men want to be with a woman who would take care of the family if anything happens to them. Men want a woman who is financially prudent and literate. Only SIMPS who are intimidated by working class women and see themselves as "real men" would want a liability who contributes nothing to relationship except her looks and household chores. Not men of the 21st century who know how difficult it is to raise a family in this trying times.

Many men have gone to their early graves in the name of "my money is my money but your money is our money". OP, have you not noticed from all the society weddings of the rich that their wives are also well to do? Give us names of any rich ajebutter is who married to a woman from a poor background? I have always said that Nigerian women from poor homes are the most deluded set of people in the country. The majority of them have a cinderella mindset waiting for prince charming to sweep them off their feet and rescue them from the clutches of poverty.

So many issues in this topic. The first one is how the hell did both parties meet? From her post, one can tell that she's educated to a certain level. Her parents are either working class/middle class. The second issue is her parents narrow view of mechanics. So many Africans look down on mechanics, painters, carpenters, plumbers and other skilled workers. It is a myopic way of reasoning as these guys have essential skills that society need and make more money than many so-called graduates. Anyone who has lived abroad will you that the aforementioned professionals are high in demand and are very expensive. If you know how much plumbers charge in the UK, Nigerians will not be chatting rubbish about them.

The way I see it, I believe that the main issue is not his profession but his level of education. Most people here ignorantly believe that her parents are against the man's profession. Its the fact that he's not educated to their "standards". I can't blame them. Most African parents have that same mentality. The baby daddy didn't package himself well when he went to see his girl's folks. All the people criticizing OP's parents are hypocrites. They would do the same if they were in their shoes. Parents want the best for their children. Love is never enough. Parents want in-laws that they can proudly show off to their friends without embarrassment. It's just what it is. The guy has to step his game up if he wants the girl's parents to accept him. The parents also have to compromise as the OP already has a child for the man. My two cents.

Segun Agbaje and his likes are completely out of touch with the reality of young people in Nigeria. Yes, abroad you are a second class citizen and there's a glass ceiling for people of color. That is true. However, you cannot blame young Nigerians for fleeing the country in drones. They are frustrated by years of incompetent government policies that have stiffed their growth. The middle class (the backbone of any society) has almost been wiped out and are leaving the country in drones.The education system is a complete shambles and only the rich can afford to send their children to private schools in this country. Only the rich can afford airfares these (both domestic and international). Only the rich can afford to go to private hospitals. The roads are a death trap and only the rich can afford to get jeeps the can circumvent all those bumps on the road. Where does that leave the working/middle class?

Agbaje came from a privileged background. He went to the most expensive schools in Nigeria and abroad. How many Nigerians have that kind of privilege? People, this man moved back to Nigeria in 1990/91. Can you compare Nigeria of then to Nigeria of now?? I was a child back then and i can tell you for a fact that the cost of living then was cheaper than now. There were more opportunities for young people in that time compared to now. The man is a hypocrite. His children most likely studied abroad and a have dual nationality like most children of the elites. Don't listen to them. They just want you to be stuck in one position and worship the ground they walk while they live a champagne lifestyle at your expense. That how most Nigerian elites are. Selfish and oppressive.

Look at the SIMPS and entitled feminists mocking the OP for using his brain and knowing his worth. OP, you did a good job. How can a girl invite a guy to lunch and not bring money to a date? So, because she is a woman she not meant to bring any money at all? Rubbish. Also what responsible woman orders a bottle of champagne, alongside meat pie and ice cream Isn't that greed? That's mental, physical and emotional poverty. You can't tell me otherwise. It's not an all you can eat buffet. What's annoying is that a lot of idiots here support her ratchet behaviour! It tells you all you need to know about the caliber of people (especially women) on this forum. They are of the same cloth as the subject matter of this topic. The men are irredeemable SIMPS who have zero standards, worth and expectations. The greatest crime a man can commit to simps and feminists is using his head instead of his third leg or "heart".

This is a very one-sided view of Nigerians living in the UK and this post reeks of entitlement. In the UK, 40% of your income is taxed. Not only that, you pay tax for everything except the air you breath. When you are in that situation, you will be cautious of the way you spend your money. As someone previously wrote, a car is a very expensive liability in the UK. On top of the taxes and insurance, there something called congestion charge for those who park their cars in very busy areas. WIth those kind of fines, you will calculate the benefits of giving any tom, dick and harry free rides.There are many Nigerians in the UK who are generous (not all) but many Nigerians coming fresh from home tend to abuse that generosity. I have lived in the UK for close to 13 years and my relatives were my bedrock. Without them, I wouldn't have lasted that long. I never had to worry about accommodation and feeding. It all depends on the friends and relatives you have.

On the issue of entitlement. when I was in boarding school, the highest an oyinbo bloke would ask me was 10 pounds and they will pay you back the following day. However, when I was in uni with Nigerians, they will ask me for 50, 60, 100 pounds and fail to pay back. In fact, they assume that it was a write off. Why won't people in the system be wary of you lots with that sort of mindset?? However, I do agree that Nigerians/black people in the UK can do better as the Asians (especially Indians and Pakistanis) are very united and have risen very fast in the social mobility ladder due to strength of unity and purpose.

Man, this post gave me bare jokes. I cannot believe that a human being wrote this s**t . So OP,in your mind, you expect a Nigerian-Canadian who you don't know, to come to Nigeria, sweep you off your feet and bring you over to Canada ? Do you not think that the person you are looking for has several options? What do you have to offer that other women can't? You are talking about being submissive and respectful. Are you telling me that he can't get that with a non-Nigerian woman? It's not your fault, Nigerian men have pampered you lots to the point that you believe that you don't have to bring anything to the table and see relationships/marriage as a poverty alleviation scheme.

My advice to you is to invest in yourself first before expecting a man from abroad to sweep you off your feet. With all the bad news about women in Nigeria misbehaving abroad once their spouse takes them there has made many diaspora men skeptical of marrying directly from Nigeria.

This is a fallacious statement. There are many Nigerian and women who are married to non-Nigerians. Nigerians only marry themselves for cultural reasons. Your statement only works for people who are stuck in Nigeria and have limited options.

231adedayo:
Mancho man, even if you do gra gra finish, na still Nigerian girl you go still marry, even if you relocate to anywhere in the world.Mancho man, even if you do gra gra finish, na still Nigerian girl you go still marry, even if you relocate to anywhere in the world....

You are 100% correct. We Nigerians have that competitive, dominant mentality. Very egocentric, proud and loud. Nigerians who grew up abroad have a slightly different mentality (I should know having lived in the Uk for over a decade). The ones who grew up in Naija on the other hand, are something else. I avoid Nigerian churches abroad like a plague. Too much competition and drama.

MALIGNANTGuest:
U are correct but the MEN are neither saints too. It's in us. We are proud and loud.
Always seizing every opportunity to demean people. Go to Nigerian dominated churches and then visit other races dominated churches. It's the same character. Loud voices and financial intimidation. A goat can never give birth to a hen. We can only export what we have.

I don't know why most Nigerian women (not all) have this stuck up, arrogant and snobbish attitude wherever they go. I was at the International Bar Association (Lawyer's) Conference in Miami, USA recently as a delegate representing my law firm. The Nigerian female delegates who were there had this predictable snobbish attitude. You know, they size you up before they even consider talking to you. Not their fault. Their male counterparts in Nigeria have made them feel that the world evolves around them. The same thing I have noticed in other international conferences. Meanwhile, the other women,especially the American ones, are nicer and want to know more about you. They even invite you to parties, dinners and other social events for networking and leisure purposes.

I always laugh in my head whenever I see Nigerian women take their stuck up mentality abroad as only Naija guys can tolerate it as they are the ultimate SIMPS.

I am a man but the replies on this forum highlights what I said on my previous post that a lot of Nigerian men lack the ability to control themselves when it comes to women. I cannot believe that any SANE ADULT would support having a relationship with a 15 year old let alone a 10 YEAR OLD child!! This is just sick! One idiot blamed westernization for the high rate of pedophilia in Nigeria . Another sicko asserted that women should be married off from 13-22!! F**k! This is why we have such messed up leaders in the country! The leaders are a reflection of the people who tend to be sick. The ones with brains are leaving the country in droves leaving idiots like the ones littered on this forum to take over the country. We are in for it!

A lot of Nigerian men are naive. They have this mentality that because they "provide" for their women, they are more masculine than most black men, They use religion and culture to justify this stupid mindset. In fact, it's the opposite. That mindset only attracts goldiggers, lazy and entitled women. Women flock to Nigerian men not out of love but out of what they can get from us. Many men from Nigeria prefer women from a disadvantaged background as they feel that such a woman will be easy to control, dominate and manipulate. A woman who is dependent on them is seen as a "submissive" wife. A woman from a well-to-do family is seen as being "proud", "arrogant" and "not homely". Nigerian men should take their loss and stop disturbing everyone about the "entitled" women they created.

Brunosamel:
Some Nigeria men keep blaming woman where's they are the major problem we have after South Africa Nigeria is the next most Simping men we have in Africa. Zero standard a women will cheat over and over again some will still accept her back, some will train a kids who isn't theirs, placing monthly salaries on their girlfriends for no reason, investing a girlfriend which result to wasted investment, will tolerate disrespect, are controlled by the women on decision and many more.

Many lacks the zeal and the will to be strong and Stoic some are mama's boys and soy boys some are hustler's but lack sex control and waste all there resources on pussy and many more.

The high time Nigeria men start creating good standards for themselves the earlier all this ladies starts sitting up.

Nigerian men have ZERO standards when it comes to women. They will go for anyone even a woman who comes from an extremely poor large family. Whereas, the aforementioned woman would NEVER go for a guy who is in her shoes. The ones that do only do so due to limited options in the dating market. Only Nigerian men will pick a girl from the road and sponsor her education all the way to post-graduate. Something they cannot even do for their siblings or other family members. The said lady then dumps their ass after graduation for a more "educated" man and the simps come online to rant about how ungrateful women are. Oga, no one asked you to play the role of surrogate father to a stranger. Something her own family couldn't do.

You have married men who will build houses for their side-chicks but leave nothing for their wives and kids. When the side-chick leaves them for other prospects, they get angry and emotional of someone who's not married or has children for them leaving them for 'better prospects'. A dude based abroad will pick a chick from the village he knows nothing about and brings her to live with him overseas. The moment when said chick opens her eyes and kicks him out of his own house that he bought with a mortgage, he then wails and loses the plot. Meanwhile, before a Nigerian chick brings a man (especially a Nigerian man) abroad, she would have made enquiries. In fact, it's only as a last resort as she couldn't secure a man abroad.

You lots do all these things in the name of proving that you are 'financially capable' and complain about the entitlement mentality of Nigerian women Who caused it? Isn't it you simps that have no standards? Yearly, we tell you simps to go for a chick that will contribute financially, morally and socially to a relationship/marriage but it all falls on deaf ears. It's other MEN that will criticize you. Women, on the other hand, support each other and hold the belief that they shouldn't settle for less. Even Buhari has more sense that most Naija guys as he married his only son (who has no job btw) to a princess. The man has used his tenure to marry off all his kids from Aisha to kids from very wealthy families. His grandchildren's future is pretty much secured regardless of what happens to Nigeria.

Gentlemen, its 2022, it's a must to have sense. Nigerian women aren't interested in love but who can give them long-term financial security. They don't have time for sentiments.

OP, I would advice you to try Ivory Coast, Rwanda, Ghana, Senegal or South Africa (problem is xenophobia). The amount you quoted is not enough to sustain you in any Western country (especially the English-speaking ones). Think about it well. You will want to get value for your money. If you must migrate to Europe, then your options are Finland, France and Poland as the cost of education in those countries is cheaper than most European countries. Citizenship in those countries is guaranteed within 5 to 6 years. If you are looking to set up a business, then migrate within Africa. Cote d'voire is very good as their infrastructure is top-notch as far as Africa goes. It's also business friendly, has a low crime rate, economically stable, has a lot of Nigerians there (2 generations even) and their currency isn't too strong agains the Naira. Before you make that decision to japa, do some research, make inquiries and if possible, visit your ideal destination before taking the plunge. Know what you are getting yourself into.

Bros, it seems that you don't understand Japanese society and culture. What you just stated is typical for white western countries. I've lived there for many years so I should know. The Japanese, like most asians, are family oriented like Africans. They don't joke with their elders. The issue is that their society is very capitalistic and modernized. They and south koreans have some of the longest working hours in the developed world. There's very little time for socializing as they are always working. It's one of the many reasons why the suicide rate there is very high. It has nothing to do with companionship. Africa with its high moral codes is where? Living in the west ought to have taught you that rich or "advanced" societies tend to be very introverted because of their environment. It's the same way that rich neighbourhoods anywhere in the world (including Nigeria) are more introverted than poor neighborhoods.

Lastly, marriage is not a do or die affair. We live in an era where there's high infidelity, domestic abuse and other problems in marriages. The only reason why people get married in Nigeria is not because of companionship but societal pressure. Thousands of people are living in miserable relationships but cannot leave because of what society would say.

Eniitankorede:
You don’t ever pray for the calamity befalling these people. They are avoiding marriage because nobody wants to care for others. Individuality is killing them. Miserable life awaits people who crave for individuality. This is evident when they grow old and need help from others. Care home staff can never replace your family and close relatives.

Before nko? They say that women lack the ability to be logical compared to men but it is the women who are more calculating when it comes to helping a man whereas men don't even think twice when it comes to helping a woman from no where. I have always said that Nigerian men are SIMPS who have this knight in shining armor mentality of bringing women to their level or more. Then, the so-called men rant on social media that women are too entitled and ungrateful. Who made them entitled? Isn't it men like them? This chick is only considering her ex because no guy in Canada has looked her way. Nigerian women feel like they are the most desired women on earth but once they move abroad (especially to the west) they are brought back to reality.

favour32:
Guys make una wise up o!
Women dey ask questions before dem help man.
But most guys nor dey ask questions before dem help girl from poverty stricken background.

Not just in South America but the whole of Latin America. It's one of the few countries in Latin America that has visa-free access to the U.S. To think that it was under a brutal dictatorship only a few decades ago.

pansophist:
The most developed country in South America.

OP, it's not a mystery as to why Mexicans focus on the US for immigration purposes. If your are a developing country and your neighbour happens to be the richest country in the world, won't you focus all your efforts to go that neighbour instead of other places that are too far? Secondly, many parts of the US used to belong to Mexico. So why not immigrate to what you are familiar instead of places you don't understand? Thirdly, while the Mexican passport is powerful, Mexicans like most Latin Americans, don't migrate across the atlantic to Europe because of distance. That's the VERY reason why they have visa-free access to most European countries. Do you lots honestly think that if Latin America was next door to Europe like Africa and Asia, they won't be rushing to Europe in their millions? Location, history and family ties are contributing factors to prospective immigrants all over the globe.

Ask yourself this question: why do most people from North Africa (Moroccans, Tunisians and Algerians) focus on migrating to Europe as opposed to other muslim countries in the gulf? Proximity, history and colonial ties. The same thing with Turks migrating to Germany. Why focus on Germany when the oil rich gulf states are closer to them? Turks have been migrating to Germany since the 70s. They are the largest ethnic minority there. I hope this has answered your question.

Exactly. The double standards in this country is too much. Since women like posting texts and love letters from men who are not in their 'class' online, let the men do the same.

truthsayer009:
For me oh, I am particularly happy he brought out this information. Let the world see that these things happen to everyone. Especially women, stopping men from releasing this type of information is also hypocrisy on its own.

Let us release all the information to the public, no need to protect anybody. The law should be the same for all of us.

Look at the SIMPS criticizing this man along with the women. When that female corper said the same thing about her gateman, you were all enraged while the women were in full support of her actions. What's the difference here? Being nice to someone is not a license to overstep your boundaries. He's her employer and a 40 year old widow with two kids. They aren't in the same class. The man's mistake was publishing this issue online which was childish as it happens a lot. He should have kept that information to himself and his close circle. Nigerian women are hypocrites. They look down on men who are below them on the social ladder but are angry when a man that is out of their league rejects them on that same basis. It's not their fault.

Nigerian men are some of the biggest Simps on the planet. They have no standards. No sense of worth. Will marry bottom feeder and support their whole family in the name of love. How many women would do the same? A married man will sleep with the house help and elevate her to wifey status while kicking out the wife and mother of his kids that supported him for years.Nonsense.

OP, why do women always want to know the true financial worth of a man? It's really for billing purposes. There's no other explanation. In this modern era of feminism and high divorce rates, no sane man would want his missus to know his true financial worth. Women are very good at using this sort of thing against the men. Look at Slyvester Stallone. After 25 years of marriage, his wife files for divorce so that she can have access to his assets. You then wonder why men nowadays prefer baby mamas to full-time wives. Marriage is not an asset for men. It's a depreciating liability as the man can lose all he worked for in one go.

Women try to guilt trip men with the notion of "love and respect". "If he really loves me, he would never hide anything from me." "When two people marry, they become one". My dear, those words don't work with woke guys. Only SIMPS fall for that rubbish. You lots talk about love when it suits you. If the man you are with was not capable of financially taking care of you, would you give him your time of the day? You see the double standards? The best thing for any married couple is to have joint and separate accounts. Joint account for the family and separate account for personal purposes.

OP, you are looking at this topic from a limited perspective. This isn't a Nigerian issue but a developing world/third world issue. People from "poor" countries look up to people from "rich countries". People from the Philippines, Lebanon, Mexico, El salvador, Guatamala and India have people dispersed all over the world. They have more people living in the diaspora than Nigerians. We Nigerians just tend to make the most noise because of our braggado nature. Many families in Nigeria see it as a sense of achievement because of what they expect to get from their relatives. People from the Northern part of the country (i'm talking about Hausa/Fulani muslims) don't travel out that much due to religion and culture. Those two elements makes them content with their environment. Contrast them with their brothers in North Africa (Moroccans, Tunisians and Egyptians) who are all over Europe and the middle east despite their countries being more organized than Nigeria. You will see the difference in exposure.

Nigerians see anything foreign as an achievement. Parents brag of their children studying/graduating from foreign universities, people brag about the foreign schools they went to or the elites showing off the 'exotic' foreign countries they have been to. You may look at it a inferiority complex. They may be true but it's also about the highly competitive nature of Nigerians. We like to show off to our perceived 'rivals'. You need to let people be and let them do what makes them happy. There's enough problems between diasporans and home based Nigerians.

It's so obvious that most people commenting here have never lived abroad lol. In most western countries, couples go 'dutch' (split the bills) while doing out. They believe in equality unlike the fake ass 'gender equality' in Nigeria which is a scam. This woman is definitely a freshy (just arrived) so she's experiencing culture shock. That African culture of a woman not spending a dime in a relationship is the reason why many African women (especially Nigerian women) are at the bottom of the dating pool abroad. If I am lying, ask people that went to school abroad who were the most desired girls in their schools. Nigerian women have it the worse because of their high level of entitlement. Even other African men complain about their sense of entitlement. There's a reason why so many of them go home to marry. The men abroad (including Nigerian guys who grew up there) aren't as generous as Nigerian men born, bred and living in Nigeria.

[b]How many times have you read or seen famous and Nigerian men in the diaspora marry a fellow Nigerian? [/b]Most of them are either married to white women, mixed race women or other black women. Just look at the current Super Eagles squad. 99% of the ones from the diaspora are married to foreign women. Even MIKEL who grew up in Nigeria is in a long-term relationship and has kids with a white woman.

It's so obvious that most people commenting here have never lived abroad lol. In most western countries, couples go 'dutch' (split the bills) while doing out. They believe in equality unlike the fake ass 'gender equality' in Nigeria which is a scam. This woman is definitely a freshy (just arrived) so she's experiencing culture shock. That African culture of a woman not spending a dime in a relationship is the reason why many African women (especially Nigerian women) are at the bottom of the dating pool abroad. If I am lying, ask people that went to school abroad who were the most desired girls in their schools. Nigerian women have it the worse because of their high level of entitlement. Even other African men complain about their sense of entitlement. There's a reason why so many of them go home to marry. The men abroad (including Nigerian guys who grew up there) aren't as generous as Nigerian men born, bred and living in Nigeria.

[b]How many times have you read or seen famous and Nigerian men in the diaspora marry a fellow Nigerian? [/b]Most of them are either married to white women, mixed race women or other black women. Just look at the current Super Eagles squad. 99% of the ones from the diaspora are married to foreign women. Even MIKEL who grew up in Nigeria is in a long-term relationship and has kids with a white woman.

That's the reality on ground. All most Nigerians think about is sex/relationships. That's why BBN is so popular. Even very liberal societies like the Netherlands and Canada are not occupied with sex/relationship issues like Nigeria. Religion and culture has limited people's views on life. There's a reason why most of the intellectuals have migrated from the country. The middle class have fled in huge droves. How can you thrive in a society where marriage and religion is the only objective in life? The result we are seeing is a nation of dunderheads who lack foresight, are oblivious to their surroundings and stupendously corrupt. Look at your President, governors, ministers and lg chairmen. These lots would never occupy any serious position of authority in a sane society.

Wuppdex:
Don't mind them, a nation of sex enhancer (Agbo) consumers. Both young and old all they know is Entertainment and Fuckery. Their favorite TV program and point of discussion is BBN. One digit IQ celebrities and leaders have no innovative ideas to sell to the impoverished citizens.

Good grief. Nigeria is such a conservative and myopic society. All people talk about is marriage and religion. Nothing innovative. Nothing creative. No discussions on how to enhance one's career or set up a business. Even with the present economic realities on ground, people are still killing themselves over the issue of marriage. It's so funny how Nigerian women are showing concern as to the reason why men in this country are not rushing towards marriage. You lots keep billing and broke-shaming men who are just trying to survive. Men have realized that there are no benefits to getting married except the title of "husband" and "father". The only reason why men get married these days is so that they don't father bastards. There's still a stigma of having a child outside wedlock. Otherwise, many men don't see the point.

Many young men have grown up seeing the women of their dreams snubbing them for yahoo boys or Egbons (Yoruba word for seniors). These same men have now hardened themselves to make money at all cost and do what the aforementioned men were doing to them. Love doesn't exist in Nigeria anymore. A lot of women see marriage as a poverty alleviation program. Many of them get married to the men that were available to them not the men they really want.

I get what you are saying. Most countries in the Northern hemisphere tend to be cold and isolated compared to countries in the Southern hemisphere. Scandinavia, despite its very high standard of living, is a cold and depressing region. I have heard that Finland is an extremely lonely and miserable place. I believe that the weather plays a huge factor in this scenario. The southern parts of the U.S. is much more livelier than the cities in the North. Nevertheless, Nigerians are very extroverted by nature and find it difficult to adapt to environments that are introverted.

truthsayer009:
Yes to your post.

But there has to be a balance in-between. I can tell you depending on the country, state & city you move to, the more lonely and depressed you might be. Countries like Denmark, Norway, and Sweden, I can never move there. Even in Canada, apart from Toronto, I doubt if I can live any where else because of less socialisation. I want to come out & talk to people, human interaction is important. For people living down south in America, cities like Atlanta, Miami have so many activities, clubs and beaches. Therefore you get to socialise more.

I have also experienced Winter depression & I can tell you I hate it with my every being. Depression hits at the core during this period.

Exactly bro! These guys don't understand. Any environment that has a touch of affluence will tend to be quiet and isolated. If you go to most GRA's in Nigeria, people living there live an introverted life. You cannot compare the social atmosphere of Ikoyi, Ikeja GRA or V.I. to Mushin, Agege or Ikorodu. Impossible. Nigerians are so used to living in a chaotic environment that they see organized societies as "absurd".

pansophist:
If you go the affluent areas of Nigeria like Asokoro or banana island, you will notice the calm and serenity in the environment and people, meanwhile, you'll never get such vibes in oshodi or Mushin.

The point I'm driving at is that lots of Nigerians move to the West and experience serenity pro max, making them not knowing what to do with themselves. It's basically an introduction to oneself.

Perfection is somewhat boring. Nigerians are not lively by genes, but due to the chaos and hectic associated with an underdeveloped societies. And when they move to foreign countries, the changes of lifestyle can be an issue.