₦airaland Forum

Korllami007:
You can tell that to a man that's in his late 40s that has nothing else lose because half of his life have been wasted. He will gladly go to jail. Some people's heart can be hardened because of circumstances that happened to them and they will do it all over again if they have the chance. They dia de drink sobo.

It's seems like you have the list of men that won't touch their wives in that scenario, so keep gambling with your life thinking that your husband will just over look it in the same scenario as if he's favorite team loses a match. The woman that her four teeth being removed will remember the bad thing she did whenever she wants to eat.
Una go learn hard way.

Is beating the only way to show anger?

TonyeBarcanista:
Your feedback is noted but not solicited.


Thanks

Who asked for it to be?

TonyeBarcanista:
Submission isn't the only issue bro. Take your time and read if you haven't

Submission is the only part that usually interests my Nairaland brothers

TonyeBarcanista:
I don't think the article is too long

At least this write up is better than the last one that seemed to be subjective.

Please find a solution so that you won't slap and rape your wife when she begs that she's tired.

Korllami007:
You should try it out with your husband or your future husband and see whether he will think about jail when he's overwhelmed with anger. That's when you will know that there are some anger that blocked reasoning of a man and paternity fraud sits at the top.

All that overwhelming anger will melt after the deed has been done. And he will still face the law right? That's my point.

Not every man would have beaten their wives upon finding out that he had been training strange children. Is beating the only way to show anger?

Korllami007:
She should be happy that her husband is a gentleman. Some men would kill her and kill all the three kids and they will tell you if they were given another chance, they would do it all over again without being remoserful.
You guys are just saying is should work away as if it is easy. Just imagine the man is your son and you get know that the his three kids (your three grandkids) that you have been showering love, that have been calling you grandma up and down whenever they visit you or you visit them are not yoursmThe moment they break to you, you will feel like your soul leaves you and I'm pretty sure you will never get yourself that moment. But you want a man that have invested more than that on the kids to act as if nothing happened.
This the worst castrophe that can ever befall a man; taken care of another man's kids (a whole three kids) without him knowing and not even one is his. That guy will never be balanced upstair till the rest of his life.

Maybe you guys are insinuating that a man that wants to move his family to Canada for better life is not responsible. You can try this with a gentleman and activate his beast mode.

Ok then. He should kill her. Maybe then he will be fulfilled in jail.

First she gives him another man's children. She has not done enough. Then she causes him to kill her and spend the rest if his life behind bars

Seems like most guys on this forum have self control issues and rape tendencies from the responses so far.

KINGreignn:
Stop reading only and blaming only one side. Both have shares in the blame. Or are you a feminist?

Can you point out where I blamed one side?

The person wrong in this situation from all indications is the man (if you are being honest and not a "masculinist"

Why do you guys always do this on this forum? When a lady disagrees with some unreasonable attitude by a man, she's automatically a feminist.

I gave you valid points even from the same Bible that you quoted submission from, yet you only see from one perspective.

What the man did, does it reflect love towards his wife?

Did she refuse to submit or she told him that she was tired which a loving husband would have seen already?

Marriage is not the way some men see it o. Two people are supposed to come together and look out for each other...make life easier for each other. Not one person acting like Lord and Master of his subjects

KINGreignn:
I'm gonna talk to you on this because you're married or else, I'd not bother but to ignore you.
1. Submit to your husband, also husband respect your wife. Both failed on this case. Remember what I typed there. Your husband was selfish and rude, but you also were selfish too
How can a lady not submit to her husband's raging desires? If she doesn't, then she's expecting him to go outside and quench his desires, he's gonna bring in STD or move her out of the house when he gets crazily satisfied from outside ladies with cheap virtues.

How can a man not be sensitive and wise enough to read his wife's body language and know when she's tired or not? Her body no be fire wood. How can a man hit his wife? And how can a woman hit her husband? Both were wrong and selfish and rude.



As for your last comment, marriage isn't simple. It's infact not easy. You as a lady have different home bringing, prolly had a different prospect and outlook to life and also had different goal and a different character and behaviour from your spouse. The coming together of man and wife, also entails both reaching a compromise on their standings and alot of things. It also entails putting up with the nonsensical attitudes of in-laws and some friends and also accepting something's which were unacceptable to you before.


Finally, marriage needs constant fervent prayers, working on one's behaviour and also making sacrifices for the betterment of one's home, it also needs tolerance, respect and submission.

About her case peculiarly, she has been responding to his advances...the night before, that same morning. Would it kill him to be sensitive and understand that she may be tired from the whole day's stress? Would one complaint of tiredness out of many other times she satisfied him make him go out to get it elsewhere?

If that happens, he clearly has a problem that he has to resolve and not kill someone's child because he paid bride price and he thinks she's now his personal sex slave.

We are quick to mention the "submit to your husband", but we forget that the same passage in the Bible says that a man should love his wife like Christ loved the church. That is not a vain kind of love. That is not a kind of love that doesn't give consideration to the woman you call your wife because of sexual urges. It is not a kind of love that makes you a dictator or terror to your wife.

This is not the kind of love that is insensitive. It's a love that preserves, guides and guards. It is a whole lot and a lot of men that demand submission have failed in this area to show love to their wives. They want to take take and take but they don't give.

It can't work that way. The woman is a human being with feelings

EkoErrands:
All these women way no dey read Bible. The Bible clearly addresses the rules of sex in marriage. The only reason approved by the Bible to deny your husband sex is if either or both of you are fasting and praying. even the bible said the break should be for a short time.

You clearly broke the rule and you want peace in your marriage.

Your husband is wrong like 1000%

But remember no peace for the wicked. so since you no dey follow bible instructions with your wickedness no peace for you.

How can you deny your husband sex are you mad? can't you sleep off and curve the back side for him to play as he likes ...even if you are in coma!

it's vise versa...He has no right to deny you sex too if na you want am.

An unmarried response

KINGreignn:
Are you married, yes or no?

Yes.

And I know marriage is not that hard.

KINGreignn:
Ignore those frustrated fellas above me screaming run. They don't know anything about marriage and most are saddists. Your husband was selfish and rude, but you also were selfish too. You two need to sit down and sort things out, Prolly visit a marriage counselor and your parents to discuss things.

How was she selfish? She said they had sex the night before and that morning. And he cannot understand that she is tired because of the whole hosting? It's not like she had been refusing him.

Who trained these men? To feel they can just form god because they are husbands. Many parents have failed.

But this story must have many details that are not mentioned. Like...

Is the man sterile? How come not one, but all three are not his children?

Did the woman have a second husband or steady bf that she was constantly sleeping with even more than her husband for her to keep getting pregnant for him?

Was the husband the absentee type?

How come he didn't suspect any fowl play all these years? He didn't feel a disconnect from his wife? What was their marriage like?

It's such a great betrayal from the woman that will leave that man almost damaged for years. Wasn't it better for her to walk away from whatever reason was making her run into the arms of another man?

Those children will just be confused and exposed to all kinds of bad energy, comments, stares, etc. May God see them through

JONNYSPUTE:
.. Non of you ladies is against the woman. You all just focused on the beatings. Smh.

From my comment, isn't it obvious that I am for the man not doing something foolish and losing more. When a deed has been done, is it better to worsen it by adding a jail sentence?

Even a slow person knows what the woman did is damning and enough to destroy the man. But if he kills her,what do you think will happen?

Is there any lady commending what the woman did? If there are, well...maybe it's the same way you guys always support and validate guys' actions on this forum too

youwanbanme:
Try to alway understand the context of statements before countering it.
Men don"t reason like women, if you pick 10 men out & also 10 women out ask what there ideal partner is, 9 of 10 men will just say a decent woman while 10 of 10 women wil chorus he must be a rich man.
When a gurl tells her friend about a new guy ... the only question they ask, is he rich buh if a guy tell is friends about a new gurl ... they only tin they wana know is if he as fvcked her .
it so rare to see a guy having mentality of i must marry a rich woman.

Sorry I am not aware of this idea. When I was dating, my friends or siblings didn't ask me if he was rich.

jaybabs1:
Madam, If truly you are a woman/lady as depicted by your handle. You've earned my respect!

Most ladies I have met are veeeerrrrrryyyy selfish and so short-sighted, infact very shallow, all they see and know is NOW!
..They don't have anything to contribute into a relationship than just to take, collect, and collect.

I guess the Nigerian economy has a serious dampening influence on the morals of the modern ladies.(Just as it did on many of the young men)

Not once or twice have I fallen victim of this girls dating other guys all in the name of surviving. You give them 30k monthly upkeep still they will still be secret-chatting one guy on Facebook for a secret weekend outing! All in the name of he is just a friend. Friend what? That's from lady that You already planning wedding with!

Haba!

I sincerely feel for this guy... honestly.

@Poster, My Guy get hard, get hardened and get harder!

It's the decade/era we live in...it's wasnt this way with our mums...it's a reality with the modern ladies we have to cope with and adjust to.

There are still good/manageable ones out there among them descendants of Eve..

Though very hurtful but don't get disturbed about women issue, they've been that way since Creation even from Eve...(Insatiable, greedy and Ungrateful) Few of them are good though.

With some prayers, patience and luck, you will find that rare one.

If any lady is hurt with my comment no vex...read this and change! If you are good.. then get better!

I guess this my harshest and longest comment on NLand.

Not every lady is willing to develop herself and become successful by herself. A lot of them these days look for the easy way out by attaching themselves to any guy that winks at them. They expect allowances and benefits for doing what? For being a girlfriend. It's sad.

modestbrowser:
Amadioha strike u.
Idiot.
Ogun kee u

Obviously a child.

You can go and play in sand now.

chatinent:
Politely, leave me be. I refuse to be part of your bias.

I will let you be. It's a pity that you cannot see that you are the one with a bias. But obviously your mantra is "blame it on the woman"

[quote author=chatinent post=86804166][/quote]Cancelling the truth doesn't cancel it from your mind. I am sure you knew that.

Deal with the women that offended you and leave all women alone.

chatinent:
You may not make the greater percent of satanwomen but, they really exist in greater numbers. They haven't wronged me personally but I see and foresee their wrong act.
The man in question is vile but listening to his satan made it worse.

First deal with the vile man before shifting to the woman.

It is convenient for you to see wrongs in women and assume men are perfect beings because you are a man.

For every 1 "satanwoman" you see, there are probably 3 "satanmen" that you choose to turn a blind eye to. But your obsession with women and your need to validate your claims will not let you see clearly.

Moralgladiator:
Teaser is for Nigerian women. Truth hurts...

No truth here hurts. I am proudly a Nigerian woman and I like money. At least I work to earn mine

Babatunde40:
This issue is tearing my family apart. I need urgent assistance from Nairalanders.

I have this step brother who came back from Libya. He started staying with me in December 2018. Initially, he said he would stay a month and sort himself to move to another country. 1 month has turned to 1 year and 3 months.

My wife wants him to leave immediately. She has being hammering it because we have 3 daughters. The eldest is 12. My wife is scared that one day the guy might molest the girls. The house is not big. It is a 2 bedroom bungalow. This guy has being sleeping in the sitting room all this while. We are very uncomfortable with this.

How can we send him away as soon as possible? The thing here is that this guy travellered to Libya in 2009 with the intention to cross to Europe. But he could not. He stayed backed in Libya and started working. He is an electrician. As he was working and making money, he called me and said he just wants to build a small house to show for his efforts in Libya. He sent money and I bought a small land. Over a space of 4 years, in 2015, we completed a 2 bedroom bungalow. He then asked me to move there with my family. I was previously staying in a room and parlor self contain. He said he has no intention of coming back to Nigeria. So I moved in with my family and we have being living here since.

In December 2018, Arabs attacked him in Libya and robbed him. He had to run back to Nigeria. He said he will stay a month and move to another Africa country. Now he has stayed over a year. He is inconveniencing my family and he is a threat to my daughters' safety. Please how do I send him away?

OP it's either this is a fake story or you are delusional.

In any case, pack your things and your family and leave the man's house

chatinent:
Your wife says you should send your landlord step-brother out of his house? . Women are wicked! Little wonder satan spoke to them first.

You must put everything on the woman's head. What about the man who received the money and built the house for him, he is not wicked abi.

You better open up and say how women have offended you.

The wife is not ready yet. She has not said what is wrong with her. Or she didn't have a proper orientation about marriage. If this case gets to the church, family, etc,she will be blamed for being foolish. Though the man will be reprimanded for taking the wrong approach.

Biafrareform:
Okay, she doesn't send me money . I do the sending . She just sent that 6k after she received her allawee to help sort some stuff.

Well I get your point . I want to move past this, bit also want to make it right if is possible for her . Cos to me , everyone deserve a second chance

The ones who deserve a second chance are the ones who are taking conscious efforts to change. Your girl wants to have her cake and eat it. She doesn't want to lose on all sides. She wants to use one stone to kills many birds.

I hope you don't come back with a sad story soon.

A word is enough for the wise.

Moralgladiator:
100% of Nigerian women will chose the rich man and cheat instead.

So Nigerian men love poverty. Since it's only Nigerian ladies that like money.

Riele:
As if there are smart men in Nigeria .

Most of them are dumb .

They may not be outrightly dumb but most of them think one way. Their minds are not flexible...too narrow minded and short sighted.

Homie ko, homie ni

Couldn't you find a synonym to interchange with? My homie, my homie up and down.

MrBrownJay1:
she should count her blessing that she is still alive... i know many who would have simply killed the deceitful animal!!!

And then what? Go to jail on top the news that he's not the father of his kids? He will just commit suicide there.

Or you think they will say he will be pardoned because of what she did to him? The story will change in a flash

Biafrareform:
.

I believed we all have past. Even myself have got a past. Same as you .

I believe everyone deserves a chance . A willing heart ready to change though.

And I also believed no one is perfect . The only bad girl out there is the one you have discovered her past .
There are many who we see as good , but undiscovered bad side .

Let me see if I get the facts right.

She has/had an affair with a married man; meaning she has no respect or regard for the institution of marriage. If she can sleep with a married man, would it be hard for her to sleep with someone else when you both are married?

She still communicates with him and he probably still sends her money. What does she do for him to get this money? Is she willing to let go of the monetary benefits?

She took a picture in your bedroom and sent to another guy? While you guys are dating?

She has no regard for you. You are the nice broke guy (she sent you money) that will be there for her to settle down with. She will probably be doing her runs and giving you money from it.

If you still want to go ahead, stop checking her phone because you will continue seeing things