₦airaland Forum

Karleb:
At least they'll have themselves to be blamed.

Now I understand why the poster you quoted has been sounding mad! Many of guys are still babies.

Parent are still flesh and bone and many of them make their decisions based on sentiments. Our parents shouldn't be making important life decisions for us, they should rather guide us.

Many of us are living the life our parents want us to live and not the life we want for ourselves and trust me, many of these parents are so selfish and arrogant that they'll never admit they are wrong. It is up to us to stand our ground.

OUR ELDERLY ONES DON'T KNOW IT ALL!!!

Why is the bolded hard to believe?? Parents are humans...with human feelings and emotions. They can be manipulative especially with their children. Only the wise and mature children can see through their antics.

My dad for instance only told we the girls not to marry from a particular state because he went for his friend's burial and saw what the wife went through. He told us his reasons.

Some parents will just say No and say nothing. A child that doesn't make them understand that it's his/her decision to make will just be turned around like a puppet in their parent's hands.

NextD18:
Oh! okay. You worked in a bank?

Impressive! Even thought you were jobless.

Evidence that our assumptions are most times invalid.

NextD18:
You work with MTN?

I worked in a bank then. The man had his account with us

Omar09:
I will listen to my parents especially my mom if she has a valid reason that has nothing to do with Tribalism.


My uncle when he wanted to get married brought home a woman who was very beautiful, but his mom refused saying she's a single mom with kids tho his mom was just seeing the woman for the first time. Long story short, my uncle went ahead with the marriage and today....! He is wrecked! By the same woman his mom warned him about. He's mom's late (rest her soul). Now my uncle just found out this year that his wife had five kids for the first husband.

Now tell me why I shouldn't listen to my parents?

Because your uncle lacked foresight doesn't mean every other person does. When choosing a wife, one must look beyond the physical and obvious attributes. Prayer is very key too.

Do you know that there are many people who went against their parent's wishes and are happy in their marriages.

One thing you should know is that parents are human beings who also have selfish interests. A close friend brought someone from another tribe home but the mum was trying to hook him up with her friend's daughter who was from their tribe.

The mum fought his choice but he stood his ground and married his "other tribe" babe. He even told his mum he would send her pictures from the wedding if she refused to attend (first son for that matter). They been married for over 5 years and his mum can see that her son is happy.

Don't fall for the scam that your parents choices are the best, except you don't have foresight or you are bad in making decisions. They can advise but the ultimate choice lies with you.

burner44:
I called her on Friday morning that we will be going out together on Saturday for lunch and see a movie together but on friday afternoon she left school for home and didn't tell me not until saturday i was already on the road when i called and she said she wasn't in school but at home i got angry because she didn't tell me before she left and i canceled some other plans to be with her. It happened that she wasn't feeling well over time and the sickness hit her hard on friday. She was on drip and was receiving treatment all through the rest of friday and on Saturday as she regained herself on sunday she wanted to come and explain it all to me physically but asi daid earlier i forgot my phone at home

That's why it's good to listen first before getting angry and jumping into conclusions. While she was ill, you were getting angry.

She doesn't know your house and you guys meet at your friend's place. Why?

GboyegaD:
Unfortunately, many of us are raised as babies and do not know we have our lives to live at some point.

Yeah. And still believe mummy needs to guide their every move. Men do better though. It's the boys that have refused to grow up that are the problem.

They sell pizza at kilimanjaro??

GboyegaD:
She is doing this because you are giving her audience. Your home comes first and no one will ask you the role of your mom in your home. Stamp your feet on your expectations and if she can't abide by it, restrict her from coming to your house. Maintain all necessary communication and respect her. Keep the mother-son bond strong and firm but outside of your immediate family. She has lived her life, raised her family, and now you have to raise yours.

Words on marble

Inagbe resort and lakowe lakes are very good options. Very relaxing with nice views.

Inagbe resort requires a 15min boat ride while lakowe lakes is by road after awoyaya Ajah. You can explore other places though.

sassysure:
Has your sis been in good terms with them after their son's demise?
Or she was giving off the vibe " This all belong to me cos I have a child for him"


I don't know how engagement works in your tribe but in mine, that u are engaged doesn't give you a title of a wife so officially those things aren't yours. They belong to his family.
And u don't have any right over them.

If in this case, as she has a child, she and them should strike a good relationship so his family will help in training the new born and foster relationship with the guy's family.
She will marry again I guess or are u suggesting she take their late son's property to her new home?

How was their relationship before his death and how did he die.

Strike a relationship with such greedy people. What would those types imbibe in a child?

She should remove her child from that kind of family or soon, they will start feeding the boy with falsehood about his mother.

tk4rd:
Who do we blame here??
Meanwhile, if DSS gets at that your guy, he is going in for it ooo.

My guy ke! The elderly man was a bank customer. By the time we called the "thief", he started crying on the phone . He didn't even have the liver for what he was doing.

We just advised the customer to change the number for his account. This was about 5 years ago. So this recycling number problem didn't just start.

That's how one guy kept loading airtime from an elderly man's pension account because of this same line recycling. He loaded almost 20k airtime over a period of time

frozen70:
If you want to learn you, if you don't want to learn leave it

For a baby, you chew beans, yam pourage, fish, and the rest just because they can't chew

It's another way of introducing solid food to her

Some children won't eat solid food but cereals and tea even up to 2yrs

Who's pocket ❓

Please that is very unhealthy...chewing food first before giving a baby. Why not mash? You can mash the beans, yam porridge, fish, etc. I never chewed o. Not everyone does that

TeamLeader:
She is 4 months and yet to be sitting unless she is supported. If i force her to sit after less than 3 minutes she will be crying but when supported she can sit for long. And she is very strong physically, kicking and everything.

am I being too worried or its normal.

am a brand new father tho.



At what months should I be getting worried


thanks for your contribution

Don't let other mothers put you under pressure. You will hear "my baby started sitting at one month"..."my baby walked at 3 months". Please ignore. Children develop differently and as long as it is not obviously a development problem, then rest and be assured that she will pass this milestone.

My baby had her first tooth when she was 10 months. I didn't bother with those that were saying their babies had teeth even from birth. Now she has a mouth full of teeth.

Your child is unique and will grow at her own pace. Just encourage and support her

dejt4u:
good. I came to my conclusion based on the fact that I am a product of the two institutions so my judgement is not sentimental but purely my opinion

I see. Cool

dejt4u:
you're entitled to your opinion ma'am

I didn't doubt that

dejt4u:
proud of my alma mata.. the serenity of the environment and those crazy architectural designs are top notches. beautiful landscape too.

university of Ibadan is just too linear for my liking..

Linear but still more beautiful than OAU

NextD18:
"It's over between us, I can't continue this relationship because I want to marry a virgin"

Especially after he has disvirgined her

TechCapon:
That's the first thing I look out for when getting a new apartment. Any compound with more than 3 children is a no no for me. Any church or mosque around, ur name na sorry. I hate noisy environments

The children won't be living in your house na. And except it's a face me I face you, the number of children shouldn't bother you. Everyone will be in their flats

Britishcoins:
To be a first son is not an easy task, in fact you will climb the highest mountain and do more dangerous tasks to ensure ur family is on track...

I know what I have passed through to ensure that my siblings are all fine....
But God is always our strength even in the desert God always provides lakes for me the first son

And then when a wife comes into the picture, they might feel she's coming to reduce their portion

Newyam:
I won't show any sign of sympathy. Same thing go happen to those ladies that do tag boys broke.

Start life small and build it up, no. You want already made, wey be obodo oyibo guy. You want snap picture, oppress your friends for facebook.

What about the many guys that marry oyibo old women just to cross border? It's not only ladies that are guilty of this

You encouraged his nonsense from the beginning. How come he doesn't shout other tenants names like that and belittle them.

If from the first day he shouted your name, you told him you don't like the way he shouts your name, and next time he did, you ignored him, he wouldn't have tried that rubbish.

He's just another tenant like you and he is ordering you around. Please don't go downstairs whenever he calls you. If you answer at all, stand at your balcony and ask what the problem is that he should talk from there.

If he troubles you about anything, tell him you have already called the landlord and spoken to him about it. Don't let anyone that is paying rent like you give you this kind of stress

My dad was the punisher. He had this special koboko. My mum preferred to talk to you. The talk was always deep and seemed to bring more remorse. She resorted to her tape rule if it was really bad.

sassysure:
Abuja just recorded 4000 divorce application since January.

Some are not up to one yr marriage.

This, should worry u, my dear.

I am a woman, thought u knee that. But I don't usually follow the bandwagon hence my posts on relationships are mostly opposite of what is expected.
I am a firm.believer of marriage and all it stands for but with solid foundation. Once u start on the wrong footing, the mind absorbs it and it's very hard to change an already established mindset.


As per how many people I know and countries, u wouldn't want to know, honestly. I don't assume. My personality hardly uses assumptions to arrive to conclusions.

But these statistics by Abuja doesn't say anything about Nigerian women being materialistic. Marriages crash for various reasons. Or are you saying the marriages crashed because the ladies were materialistic?

MissGodOwn:
No they don't ma, that's why someone said here the other day that once men understand that it is only his wife that isn't their blood then men won't have much problems anymore in marriage.
The sad thing was that many were complimenting him.
People don't understand anything about marriage anymore, they just go into it coz their mates are getting married, and other sickening factors.

I don't take such guys seriously. They are obviously young and naive. If they carry that mindset into marriage, the marriage will have plenty problems and he and his family will keep blaming the wife for many happenings. Just because a boy decided to get married

sassysure:
The problem we have in various Nigerian marriages is that we all marry for the wrong reasons.
When a babe is solely after money, a man will see her as an object. We have shown countless times that money rules. Anything u bought is an object to u to be used as u wish.
From dating, to the exorbitant marriage rites including wedding just to please the girls( believe me, majority of the guys want very simple wedding).
How then do u want to be treated?
We want oyibo treatment of equality but we wouldn't do what their girls do. Can we forgo the material things attached?
Can we stop demanding(as our rights because they are dating us or married to us)?

The truth is this, until we stop demanding and accepting, they will continue to see our ladies as commodity.

I have never seen women as materialistic as Nigerian women in this world. Non.
We chop and close mouth. The politicians destroying this country, who are the wives and side chicks or girlfriends?
U and I.
What do we do with what they give us?
Throw party around and live extravagant lifestyles.
We hardly ask what they do to make money, we simply collect and when it stops coming, we nag or look elsewhere.

See, the foundation is very flawed. So if we are busy blaming the men, it's equally vital to take part of the blame.

We want to eat our cake and have it.

I remembered just few months into marriage and a supposed good friend was advising me to ask my husband for a car. Few months!
Do I really need a car at that moment, no but her reasoning was that I deserved that as a wife to ....
Men work with these pointers. U can never have it all.

My point is that ladies should stop projecting themselves as commodity, cos when u do and u got served, stop complaining.

How many countries have you lived in?

How many women, of how many countries have you dated or related with to reach this conclusion?

Facts, rather than assumptions.

I guess the response from TonyeBarcanista closes this thread.

Sir, if you don't trust a woman enough to entrust your life to her, please don't marry her. Only marry someone that you can be comfortable with your eyes closed and bullet loaded in a gun on her hands because you know that she can't and won't harm you.

marriage is 2 people becoming 1 not two people living together as flatmates or roommates. Sir, do note also that this breeds companionship and bonding.


The bolded is still a mystery to many men. They still see marriage in the light of boyfriend and girlfriend.

With marriage comes responsibility and maturity. You are responsible for your spouse. You protect and cover them against external criticism.

That's why it's important to marry the right person, someone you can respect and value. You don't marry someone and still show that you place your siblings/parents above him/her.

Whatever you do to your spouse, you are doing to yourself because you are one. And not so many guys especially on this forum understand the sacredness of marriage.

Some people take aso ebi for naming ceremony o. A serious affair.

We did our child's own in the hospital. She was still in the hospital in the day of her naming. We had only one witness aside the Pastor and we bought drinks for the hospital staff.

ahnie:
Some men Sha....
My husband doesn't have that time...I can't vividly remember when last i served him food.

He goes into the kitchen served himself,packs and washes his plate...even cook sef whilst I seat gidigba to eat.

See in between my husband and I we no send..........it's a free world.
Southerners no just send anybody.

This guys think marriage is licence to be useless or to be gods

Sometimes my husband will say he will come and wash his hands in the kitchen instead of me bringing a wash hand bowl. He Carrie's his plate to the kitchen a lot of times. When he doesn't, I don't hesitate to carry it.

His attitude is just to make sure I am not too stressed. If he gets home before me, he will make dinner. No airs. If he's tired and doesn't make, I do it sharply.

We understand each other and don't take each other for granted. These guys on this forum are so miniature and funny.

Oluneutral:
The kind of questions asked on this forum are quite baffling!
So, it's now a crime or taboo for an abled man to carry his plate to the kitchen after finishing his meal. Na wa o! That one too is the wife duty abi? Infact, do some men even lived before getting married sha?

Very soon now, we'll be seeing the question.... Is it right for a man to clean up himself after defecating?

SMH....

He is no longer a bachelor and now has some privileges. His wife or the maid should clean his yanshh after pooing

No sex for 3 years, you share different rooms and yet you are 90% sure he loves you.

Or are you the one who decided to stay in a separate room and become celibate?

Seems like you are frustrating his efforts to make the marriage work.

You decided to marry him. You need to try to make it work. Get excited about life. Respond to his good will towards you. Extend love to him...buy him gifts, take him out, etc.

If your husband writes his own feelings about you, what will it be? That his wife is an Ice queen, cold fish, etc. She doesn't see anything good in whatever he does. She withholds sex, sleeps in a different room, always gloomy.

Please make that man happy. It won't kill you. And if it's absolutely impossible for you to change, call for a family meeting and let it out. You both need to make a decision that works for you both.

veekid:
WizKid should be number one, man's a Muslim

He's always been a Christian...except he just changed