₦airaland Forum

What kind of person talks about IG likes and clothes?

Reasonable points. A girl must be able to invest in a relationship...not only her presence but her money.

KingsDisease:
Our Housemaid of just 16yrs disrespects me a lot.. it is caused by too much play by my fault, I agree.
What can I do , Resetting slaps doesn't solve the problem
I call her, she doesn't answer. Total disrespect and disregard! I don't want to be beating her because it seems she is getting immune to it. It is also creating a mutiny or diminishing the closeness between me and my younger ones because she takes care of them.
Ps- I seized the phone given to her because she uses it to make midnight call to a boy hence the origin of the issue.

Lalasticlala, Dominique,RoyalBoy
fp pls

Please put her at arms length and desist from being too familiar with her. Over familiarity breeds contempt, disrespect and all. You need to be very firm. Maybe she thought your play was you making passes at her.

Please do not buy her a gift as someone suggested. That will just give her more power and reason to continue acting rude.

Hide your teeth and don't give her all that attention. She will learn with time.

espionagesavvy:
Call it a truce. Buy her a gift, call her and counsel her but firmly. Intimate her on the risks of her actions.

Lastly I dont know why you want her respect, respect doesnt feed anybody, as long as she does what is assigned to her. Respect is overrated. If she still fails to respect you, ignore it since that is the only way she wields power over you. Deny it to her

I don't think he should buy her a gift to reward her for disrespecting him. He should keep her at arms length and desist from being too over familiar.

Kdon2:
Do not get me wrong, its the duty of the parent not the child to choose what is acceptable or not. Remember the child is young and will form opinion based on what comes their ways. Teach your child wealth is earned not gifted.

How does getting shared gifts on birthdays make a child think wealth is gifted and not earned?

Kdon2:
My dear sister when your children start getting gifts you can not afford you are courting serious trouble. As a parent you have the enormous responsibility to reduce the negative influence of the society on your child. It start from knowing to teach your child what gift is acceptable and which are not and letting them know why.

As a parent, I won't tell my child to accept only inexpensive gifts shared at birthdays and reject the expensive ones. How is the child to know which one is expensive.

What am I teaching her? To despise expensive items and only be open to receiving cheap or average things?

This is obviously not about the child but about the parent's inferiority complex and insecurities...already being intimidated by other's wealth.

No one is asking that you must reciprocate in like manner. There are more thoughtful affordable items that can be shared that would even be more appreciated than the ps4.

No need for parents to feel intimidated and extend it to their children.

Kdon2:
Sharing gift differs according to circumstances. In this case I m totally not in support where gift sharing influences conducts.

That is left to the parents to regulate but many parents have failed in that area. Even the gifts that the parents themselves buy for their children can influence their conduct.

So it has nothing to do with who gives the gift but how the parents can make sure the gifts do not have a negative influence on the children.

Kdon2:
Simple, I don't want my child to think life operates on gift. Thanks sir

What does this even mean? That life operates on gifts? Most of us grew up sharing gifts and receiving them. Did it makes us think life operates on gifts?

We have to make sure we teach our children the most important values and they will grow up with them so that they will have the sense to know that working hard for their money and receiving gifts are two different things.

Let's not as parents, make a wrong judgement based on our own bias and mindset and impose it on our children. God will gives us wisdom

yanabasee:
He never killed her for these years... Is it now that they're old that he will kill her?



And i don't attach sentiments to my comments....


You want him to go and knockout his father for you to be happy?


His father is a grown man and whatever problem they have or facing will likely be settled....But could prolong if he picks a side... And could divide the family as one party will feel the other party is using the kids against him/her....


You need to apply wisdom when dealing with adults....

A grown man would act better than beating his wife. It takes much more than age for someone to be described as grown.

And a child that loves his parent, mum or dad should be concerned when he or she is hurt physically especially by the one person who is supposed to love them and have their back.

In this case, the son should not turn a blind eye because it is not his own marriage.

Kdon2:
Its not by force to accept it either

What is wrong with your child accepting it? Is it because it is expensive? What if it was the regular bubbles blower, writing materials, crayon, ribena? Will you refuse that? Are people appalled to expensive things?

I might not be able to afford that kind of gift now but if it is shared in my child's class as long as didn't steal or beg for it, it will be appreciated like any other gift.

You might be taking your mum's side but your dad beating her is just unacceptable. Someone will still be collecting beating in her old age.

Collect beating from primary to secondary school, father and mother will beat, husband will still follow it up with beating.

Even our parents stopped beating us at a particular age and resorted to reasoning and other forms of discipline. I don't take lightly to a man beating his wife. He has absolutely no right to.

You can tell his relative who is older than him to talk to him. Let them know how you feel about such attitude from him.

It's just so sad.

Your own is better. My friend's son is over three and he takes only cereal still. She has tried everything. She gave himmcereal for too long and he got stuck on it.

It depends on what you start them with. If you introduced them to all those foods early enough, they would have adapted to them.

I made mine start eating normal foods quite early and I was hardly doing noodles. I gave her varieties to explore her taste buds. She's almost three and she eats everything food and she is quite adventurous with food.

But OP, your children are past that age now. So just keep at it. Reduce the noodles and keep giving them other foods. When you are eating, put in their mouths too, especially the youngest one.

They have to know that there is more to food than noodles.

My best chore is cooking. I don't even see it as a chore. I see food stuffs in the market and I am already excited...those juicy tomatoes, beautiful looking and assortment of dry fishes, fresh vegetables(carrots, spring onions, green l, red, yellow peppers)..I love cooking.

I don't really know what chore I don't like but sweeping is not my favourite.

Jasper18:
I can do anything else...but DISHES!! especially those white takeaway plates! NEVER!!

You must really hate washing those takeaway packs

Tomblaize:
because Igbo women have high taste. They will cheat on u or even divorce you when u face little challenges. Igbo ladies don't like to suffer. Listen to your mom, she is speaking from experience.

This is hearsay and hasty generalization.

But it is also hearsay that a Yoruba woman
will cheat on him whether or not he has money because it is just their custom to have an "alé".

The character of a person is more important and key than the tribe. My brother married Yoruba and my sister married Hausa (We call him Hausa though he is Nupe) and we don't have issues with them.

It is parents who are not liberal that try to force their opinions and mindsets on their children. They need to look past the tribe and get to know the person first before rejecting someone that might be best for the children

Souqwaqif:
There is this relation of mine that has been cohabiting with this guy for about three years now,with no seriousness to marry from the guy even after advising both to do court or simple traditional marriage.
Currently she is having fibroid and advised by the Dr. to go for CS. But the guy claims he has no money to deposit for the CS. Also this relation of mine has no money of her own currently.
Please what advise can one get to handle the situation? Constructive criticism and helpful comments pls!!!.Thanks

When you say CS, do you mean a Cesarean Section...that she is pregnant for this guy?

If that is the case, the guy has to take responsibility for his child.

Coldie:
Swears. This might affect the child's self esteem in future.

People are naturally generous. The parents who gave out the gift could have done that with an open heart without anything in mind. But she's reading meaning into it

It might affect them.

I wrote in a previous comment that my nephew was in the same class with the son of the serving governor of the state at the time. When it was the boy's birthday, you can just imagine the kind of gifts that they shared to the kids in the class. My nephew's parents didn't reject it. Abi will they accept pencil/eraser and reject child size cars/PS4, etc.

Or I should only allow my daughter attend birthday parties of average/ not rich so that when her own birthday comes, they won't be expectant.

I don't understand the OP's thinking process. But as for me, I don't get intimidated by other people's wealth. I will not do more than myself.

Coldie:
To me no need to return it

Soon now Op will tell his child not to mix up with the rich kids in school but only with the average ones.

Those party packs are regular things that parents share to celebrate their children's birthday. Some people even share in church.

You expect children to accept the party packs you share because it is ruler or bubbles inside but because someone can afford to share a ps4, it is a problem.

When my nephew was in primary school, he happened to be in the same class with the son of the serving governor of the state. The boy's birthday was strictly by IV and the things my nephew brought back were crazyyyy and unbelievable.

Please there's nothing wrong with it. Your problem is because you cannot afford that much and you don't want to collect it.

Please let's not allow unnecessary pride blind us.

Coldie:
You get conscience sha

Some people won't return it with boldness

Is it wrong to keep it? The child didn't steal it. If it was a ruler, would he have returned it?

SLAP44:
Why can't they also March against herdsmen killings?

Or against the corrupt government and government officials.

pocohantas:
You will still type nonsense.

And he did...the first sentence. Generalization

Akamariner:
Never associate with people that are not willing to add any form of benefit to your existence, this life is a solo race, regardless of who is who.

Fear not, who no Kno you before, should not know you now, it's your life and only your life, the only people that matters are those that genuinely add any form of benefit to your life.

That's what I shall do, if I'm to be in your shoe

You can forgive then but still thread carefully. The forgiveness is more for yourself than for them to free your mind of any bitterness and hurt.

However, giving money is another kettle of fish. I don't think you should part with any money especially because their moves for reconciliation seem to be motivated by your financial situation.

Forgiving them does not mean you have to be close to them. It's a sad situation that parents can leave their own child...a toddler and move on with their lives.

bigt2:
Here's where the gas do the talking
Kinni nwi? Please this isn't for the pregnant e joor!

Iran baba mi, ode nii se!

This eating of rat is it out of love for rats or hard life?

One man in the next house to mine was like that. His kids used to go pick him up from the road and gutters. They got tired and allowed him to sleep in the gutter and come back on his own when he wakes up.

Some of these men use drinking to try to escape from their problems. It's a terrible way of dealing with issues.

Well, it would be nice to have a source to back this up. Though a friend of my hubby said he had it sometime last year and he self isolated at home.

illicit:
I don't have issues with southpaws


But I won't want my wife and children to be southpaws because of this discrimination that comes with it

Really?

I know someone, a doctor who prayed for his child to be left handed. There's this belief that they are always smart. He admires my daughter because she uses both. I don't mind it.

Icon2007:
In my own opinion and with my experience with the HMO my place of work is using I can confidently say that HMO is scam. I was using a particular hospital at a time when I was a contract staff 5k was been deducted as monthly HMO contributions which was meant to cover me and my family. I used to go to the hospital for treatment mostly malaria related and I get a drugs equivalent of 1k after spending close to that 1k on transport.
So at a time I decided not to go again. I just get the drugs myself. In 2015 My wife had a miscarriage and I was at work I told her to go to hospital. I was shocked when she called back that she was asked to come back the following day after they have delayed her to make series of calls to the HMO. In my own interest I just asked her to go to another hospital. I did not have money thank God for credit card, I made use of my credit card to settle the hospital bill. I was seriously bitter and I did series of mail to the HMO they only said they were sorry
Now I am a permanent staff and my monthly contributions has increased. Registered with a better HMO of international standard. But I was shocked too as I went to the dental clinic to do S&P: scaling and polishing after the examination of my teeth they made call to the HMO. I was told to go that they will call me back. that was 1st of June after series of calls and mails from the clinic and myself I was told the treatment has not been approved, until yesterday when I was called from the clinic to come today for the treatment. My question is : what if its emergency? and with my contributions should there be need to make call to give me a treatment of 7k Honestly I am loosing hope in this country everyday. Or can some one educate me if I am missing something.

In the first place, HMO is supposed to be a benefit attached to your job. You are not supposed to contribute to it.

Secondly, that HMO is a scam. I have not had issues with the three HMOs I have used.

yemi1504:
Till then o! Me that I am already done with this your foolish women!

Also translates to mean that Nigerian men are foolish. Cool. Except my husband though.

yemi1504:
Iffahear, not in this generation or the next one or even in my lifetime dear. Operation foreign girls till I die!

Talk is cheap.

Let's wait till then

yemi1504:
Iffahear!

Yemi you know you will still marry Shola

Timi141:
Nigerians gan sef, which one is to love and obey?

Marriage is not slavery oo. It is to love and cherish. If you are looking for unconditional love and obedience you better get a dog.

Seriously, what is the use of marrying someone that won't challenge you and make you grow into a better person. You'll just put a yes man in your house.

I thought the vows were to love and to cherish. I don't know who sent the Pastor