₦airaland Forum

Naija147:
She is married with 2 kids now, me never even get person wey I dey discuss relationship with not to talk of marriage.

see there is age to school
there is age to make money
there is age to shoot shot

if you have pass tru the first 2 successfully ,no prob ,this is the age to shoot shot keep shooting ,and don't feel bad if a lady throws her shot at you ,it's normal ,we are all human ,some day quick fast forward while some are shy about it ,

just keep what shooting your shot ,and tolerate ,we all have different background growing up so some time yours was juicy while others had it rough ,

Naija147:
Bro I don’t think there is much to talk about me, I’m an introvert, loving, caring and a good listener.

What they see as the bad side of me is really not bad for me, I don’t allow a woman cook for me cos I’m a good cook, I don’t allow a woman wash my clothes because I believe she won’t wash clean, if a woman uses my bathroom I go in almost immediately to clean the bathroom myself because I think she won’t clean as much as I would.

I hate to see strings of hair in my bathroom or bedroom.

see my guy ,u need to compromise ,I no go lie ,if you no fit tolerate or ignore some things u can do on your own physically ,e go hard you o ,

Naija147:
She is even 2 yrs older than me

bro your case is critical ,ask an average lady or female if they will give a go ahead to their brother dating an older lady ,you will get a proper reply Bec they already know how the relationship is going to be ,my guy that lady is not only older than you with 2 years but 4 years mentally but physically it is 2years

DONFRANSKID:
Nigerian girls are useless

my guy shut up ,you got a female in your family tree so respect the females in general as well ,you met wrong people Bec of who you choose to roll with ,don't blame it on all of them

Naija147:
I dated a girl from 2006 till 2011, I helped her through school, she broke up with me 2 month to her final exams.

She started dating the guy she was rumored to be dating during our relationship, I felt betrayed and told her she will be used and dumped @35.

She got married to the same guy @35 and I got another heartbreak @35.

No relationship has worked for me since my last relationship, no girlfriend and I easily get bored when a girl stay too long in my house, some girls have told me I won’t get married because of my intolerance.

I have made peace with my ex and we are cool now, but relationship still doesn’t work for me.

Do I have a problem or what I wished her is coming back to me.

Advice pls

dating your age mate some times doesn't ends well , forgive and let go of your past man ,

the only solution to a cheating wife or cheating husband is separate or divorce ,life no hard ,if you choose to stay back keep a blind eye ,your emotions will eat you up like mad

CsRockefeller:
Thanks. I will give it a try though the ones where I worship presently don't meet my what I seek in a lady (not speaking of physical features)

The irony of your closing statement is; the ones I've met this far are all on Nairaland. Since 2019, I've met about 3 ladies from here, only 1 was a little serious but I suspected she was just looking for a leeway to escape harsh economic conditions, the latest one is just emotionally unstable, there's another one presently in Lagos that I hope to see soon even though she doesn't cut it in terms of tribe but very intelligent.

Perhaps, I have to move out from Nairaland and meet people out there but Lagos life won't let someone relax once in a while.

send me a pm let's chat

[quote author=CsRockefeller post=100895107]The funny thing I have found out is; the Christian ladies (Churchy type) aren't too different from the Omo wobé's if you take away their virginty or the low body counts from the equation.

Recently, I got thinking if I should involve my mum in this search because I've ran out of ideas on how to go about it.[/quote
oya call your mummy ,or your aunt , Bec I have come to notice relationship day get head when one mature elderly person is involved no matter how childish the relationship is

CsRockefeller:
I'm a Catholic.

make close with the prist ,join one group ,even if it doesn't interest you ,just do it because of what you want , everything na sacrifice,I will not lie to u bro ,that's the only place you can see a bit more responsible lady ,abi na night club you wan go ,just save your self those heartbreak and headache of ladies who stair up emotions of a guy and start misbehaving, Bec some na score they they count ....... nairaland is also a good place to get hook up ,some nice ladies exist around here ,but go for the mature ones ,

CsRockefeller:


If I say that relationship issues never tire me then I'm lying. Recent behaviour of a very religious lady I have been friends with for sometime with a view to taking it further has got be thinking, at this point I don't know what to believe in again as it relates to love.

So, I'm just gonna take my seat and do what my people call "Siddon look" cos I'm tired honestly, why can't I find a simple lady in Nigeria for marriage?

keep looking you go see,,if e too hard meet your pastor , Bec na them go point out who serious among some ladies , right now ,na them fit refer give you ,trust me ,u can't pretend for long inside church,and pastor with their evangelical team go don meet them either for wrong place or right place outside church

missimelda01:
I personally think that the idea of messaging your partner with a different number to test them is trash! If you’re having doubts, simply communicate.

relationship na try your luck ,that's just the truth ,if it works for you ,be happy if e no work ,still move on ,till we all finx a better person ,... instead of using psychology or emotional strategy to beat the other person .

most state government refuse to build standard market which is the best way o check mate food products ,very easy ,na who don chop get power to work

Fahdiga:
The inside might be cleaner than the outside. he should sink his own borehole if he ain't satisfied with this one. Nigeria sucks

let's not justify wrong ,if your person falls sick of food poison then u wouldn't say what u just say .....if nigeria is a conducive environment am u will know the job of NAFDAC ,that truck will not even leave their Warehouse

Fedric:
I'm ready to get married .

I am rich but no one knows this and I didn't show her . Building my second house but I told her I am working as a factory guy for now and pretty tired .



I'm an internet marketer

just be plain with her what u do for a living ,may we not lose good girls Bec of fear try want to eat our money ,just tell her ,if the relationship works base on the spending then u have a better choice to make

Kirinwa:
I was offered an employment where I stated an amount which was countered by my boss with promise to up it but he hasn't.

I am considering quiting the job. Advise me.

if nigeria had a reasonable legal system you can take him to court ,and he will end up pay till the money is complete

Idiko1:
Why would the EFCC and CBN arrest anybody for what he\she does with hard earned money? Once the currency is in circulation, it cease the protective leverage it enjoyed under the custody of CBN.

if u kw how much is been spend producing the notes on the floor ,yes the notes (money) all have expiry dates but we should not be so fast to deface it quickly in the name of I worked for it , ,we need to help our self ,no be everything govt go tell or do for u

wow ,I never kw such a thread exist ,
my name is wisdom and am from edo state

Lovethaa:
Ofcourse... you Nigerians are very backward mentally. If you ever travelled it of the country you would understand that this is very normal..

are u white skined ,don't equate yourselves to the white ...

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

I love your maturity

JAMANZE:
I will continue to choose your cement over dangote because u give where and when it matters

how much is a bag of bua,if I may ask , becus dangote is killing everyone

Chimgoziem217:
The more they arrest them the more they increases...

But what do you expect?
A man's means of survival determines his consciousness.

May Hod help us

the jail term is very low , increase the jail term , right now in edo state ,the govt are asking the youth to come register for job opportunities .. when arm robbers who were caught were killed by firing squad at lekki beach , robbery cases reduced drastically ,,,

odinson1:
This is the Answer to your Question

Nigerian girls are useless...All of them

yo ,there are still some good ones , though hard to come by ,but good girls are still there

armadeo:
GNLD loading.

these people can deceive fresh graduate ,,if you recently graduated don't rush ,take your time , anything that involves you moving or transporting without direction avoid it ,,,,if na hand work you feel u can learn,learn it , nothing is wasted

MigeoFoods:
I have never heard of this but UNA NO DEY EVA LEARN,DIDNT MMM TEACH YOU PEOPLE ANYTHING!Leave all these get money quick scheme!
People hoping is upgrade SORRY is not it has crashed that is the pattern it follows

Abeg make una come buy my market today is Monday

most people who are investing in this what ever name it is been called didn't taste the rod of MMM ,,,,,,MMM show me pepper , anything call online investment ,I don't even get involved at all be it bitcoin oo , cryptocurrency,name them ,I want to see my physical cash working for me

Hathor5:
All of them.

only you ,u want all ...u na oliver twist o

bigcasava1:
No wife on earth can cope with that distance. I have seen alot of them fuvking around.

and there are still alot not messing around ,,yo my guy if work day 9ja no body for day leave nigeria ,,so don't create doubt for ladies who don't mind doing such

lanjum:
Same question I asked a friend yesterday when she told me her husband is outside the country.

so u can't take such a risk ?

My name is wisdom from Edo state (akoko-edo LGA) single and searching am am 28 years,genotype is AS .

I want a lady between the range of 25-28 my no is 08068257297 whatapp and call is okay .scammers back off

femi4:
Marlians wedding MAFO

2021 -1992 = 29yrs ....Good age to start a family if you don't want to use your pension to train your children

nice comment but really tru

plot697:
Francis609, your write up tells me you are still young and inexperience. You disown your own mother because of your wife? Listen to this, a man was sentenced to 10 yrs in prison for killing his landlord whom he caught him with his wife. Before he served out the sentence, the wife had three children for another man. This happened in the East.

A second one happened in Ogun state late 2019. This man returned unexpectedly to meet his wife with another man in his bedroom. In that anger he killed the man instantly. The next day, police arrested the man and he is still in detention till date.

What do you make of these? They are not worth dying for.

yeah u are right but if ur person no wish person better na death u con wish the person,abeg run from that person ,shae the mother no be woman like e wife

VULCAN:
It's fascinating how almost all those who are advising you not to disown your mother are women.

Most Nigerian women have a very mean streak inside them.

That's why they are easily initiated into witchcraft and are the dominant clients of medicine men

na na u know bro

wen I see a lady treat her house made in a harsh manner and the pic is posted ,and people rain insult on the house wife ,I tell them to keep quite becu most ladies on this forum are also capable of such ,only few are exempted

ceeceeuwa:
The grandchild she lost didn't pain her o! If it did, she would not be in a position to be making unguarded utterances. Death is a wicked thing to wish someone. For her not to show remorse afterwards shows that she can kill that lady if she gets the opportunity.

even if it means turning the son to a widower ....