₦airaland Forum

Deenillah:
But she wants it to be that at every little instance, I apologize even if she's at fault which to me I find unacceptable and this causes quarrels between us when it happens.


MY QUESTION IS

Am I wrong to want to apologize ONLY when I'm at fault?

Your girlfriend is exhibiting the traits of a narcissist, but she may just be immature. Two years is far beyond the chasing stage. By now, she should also be making efforts to make the relationship work. The courtship stage serves as a rehearsal stage; you can advise her and give her some time to change but if she doesn't, it's best to break up with her.

I read through the comments, and I noticed someone advised you to move to Twitter. If you find it challenging to handle discussions on Nairaland, you might find it even more challenging on Twitter. The purpose of social media is to provide a platform for socializing and expressing oneself. Social media platforms do not restrict people from sharing their views and opinions, they only have moderation rules in place.

Jovialjune1:
I don't get, you want her to stay in your parents house, which will block her from meeting potential suitors, while you continue to stay in your place living a bachelor life, and your parents in all of their wisdom don't see anything wrong with that and with you having a child out-of wedlock and wanting your ex to live with them, as what exactly?

It's so sad that so many parents enable this bad lifestyles of youngies that is rampant today, it's sickening, because there is no way bad lifestyles will exist if these children respects and value their parents.

It is wrong for his parent to demand such from his baby mama but that doesn't mean they enabled his decision to have a baby out of wedlock. Parents can only threaten or advice their children not to have a baby out of wedlock but once the deed has been done, it cannot be undone. They might have scolded him already. Do you expect them to get a gun to kill him?

If I were to become pregnant out of wedlock, the worst my dad would do is disown me. I would keep my distance from him while he is still angry and I would simply stay peacefully and comfortably in my own house without stress, while sending him Bible verses and quotes about forgiveness everyday. I would also ask people he respects to intercede on my behalf and request his forgiveness. Eventually, he might come around.

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blahc007:
Meaning, there was no marriage..that's deception

It's equivalent to marrying a wombless lady, who hid her predicament from you...

It happened to someone I know but anything marriage like this I no dey put my mouth.

fyzaila:
I married him because we genuinely love each other, so any circumstance i find in the marriage, I'm sticking with it. Well, he have to have money to oo to cushion the predicament. You can't be impotent and be poor at the same time na. Godforbid

If a woman is aware that her husband is impotent before marriage, it is understandable, but if she discovers it only after marriage, it implies that he deceived her.

If you find out that your husband is impotent after marriage, what will you do?

Samantha124:
I came in here running to see pictures of the cats, but I found none...

Same here.

A guy met a lady on the bus and fell for her. He was expressing his feelings to her when he suddenly felt the need to sneeze. Unfortunately, he chose to hold it in because he was in front of an attractive lady. As a result, he was rushed to the hospital but did not survive.

You don't need to be fake to impress a lady. A lady can find herself falling in love with a broke guy simply because he is jovial or he possesses any other attractive quality.

RIP

Beauty, brain, and talent, this combination is remarkable.

Savedday2:
You are free to get them pregnant!

But marriage, no go area!

They are all ashawo that, is out to bring you down.

Don't let Thier innocent look deceive you. When it comes to deceit, 9ja girls are the highest. Devil dey learn work where them day.

E be like say na man born this one.

Merry100:
This is what guys mean by natural picture, nonsense people.

Before you people start asking me that where did I buy the trouser from that you want to order, it is my brother dash me trouser.

This is what guys mean by natural picture, nonsense people.

No.

Sunmolar:
Lol. Are you implying that virginity is the worth of a lady?

No..... But on the long run of marriage, there wouldn't be emotional damage, try to maintain a balance between the past and present.....most ex still talk to their ex.... and trying to figure out who's the best between the past and present.... It's better not to be part of that euphoria. If I'm with Richard life may be better than been with Robert?

If a lady chooses to remain a virgin, it should be because she wants to, not because some men who are not virgins themselves prefer virgins. Non-virgins are still getting married every weekend because most men are looking for good wives, not specifically virgins.

You mentioned that most ex still talk to their ex. That suggests that a significant number of people, including men, are unfaithful. Should women also start looking for virgin guys without exes to avoid being married to unfaithful men?

Druss:
Fair points. Note that I have been married for over a decade. My wife didn't have sex before marriage.

Good.

Sunmolar:
Even when you think girls are chaste and no sex before marriage, they be like you don't know my Worth. Because they already lost the worth and stylishly implying they're already broken.

🤣🤣🤣 Do you know my worth? My worth is virginity.

Lol. Are you implying that virginity is the worth of a lady? I am sure you are talking about those immature ladies who are yet to understand life.

WeirdAlien:
Submissive and man are two words that don't come together when it comes to romantic relationships.
But we know you're just trying to get attention!

Exactly.

Kemadealadire:
Read through the thread, a relationship isn't marriage, how many people will you sleep with before it ends in marriage, ladies lose out more in this regards, the same set of guys will still go around trying to make you the laughing stock in town. It's best to abstain from premarital sex, sharing a part of you with everyone you meet make no sense.

I grew up seeing people get married as virgins. I am a virgin myself, but I don't aspire to marry the way most virgins do. Not all non-virgins engage in promiscuous behaviour. I have friends who only dated a few guys before meeting their potential partners, and their relationships are very healthy. The reason you mentioned is not a valid justification for a woman to abstain from premarital sex.

Kemadealadire:
Full stop, I started reading comments starting from the OP, lol and I am shaking my head.
It's the ladies who won't have sense I pity even if you decide not to open God, very irritating comments, this generation is done for.

Lol, apart from religious beliefs why should a lady keep your virginity. Non-virgins are also getting married every weekend so why the pity. A good guy will continue to be good whether he marries a virgin or not.

Some people are hyping this virginity thing too much. If a virgin is pretty and intelligent, she will definitely attract good suitors. Virginity is not even written on the forehead, and men are looking for wives, not virgins. Some virgins don't even marry well because they don't know how to play their cards properly.

Druss:
You cant choose what others do. You can only select what you do. I am very antisex before marriage. I have great respect for people that keep themselves for their partners. However is this the only factor I will look at? No.

You expressed your thoughts in a mature way and made your personal desire clear without imposing it on others. If only some other guys can be this mature.

I would like to offer you some advice. If a woman claims that she is keeping her virginity because of you, even if she engages in other forms of sexual activity that do not affect the hymen, she will still claim she is still a virgin and impress you with the preservation of her hymen but if a woman is motivated by religious beliefs, she cannot deceive God, so it is likely that she would choose to abstain completely from sexual activities and there are also other substantial motivation that can make a woman keep her virginity.

Sunmolar:
If only girls can stay without sex before marriage.... The number of divorces will be less. Marriage and sex will be sacred, more enjoyable and satisfying.

But to lots, if a man didn't get down before marriage, they think something is wrong.

Who are guys sleeping with, dolls?

If only guys can stay without sex before marriage.... The number of divorces will be less. Marriage and sex will be sacred, more enjoyable and satisfying.

I don't blame all the immature guys who talk as if virgins are mere commodities they can purchase at the market. Instead, I blame those ladies who reserve their virginity solely to impress a guy, rather than for tangible reasons like religious beliefs.

PepeXKermit:
What was the man doing in his 20s. Please do not and stop encouraging rubbish..

Don't blame people without knowing their story. Haven't you heard of from grace to grass? It almost happened to me, but God turned my story around.

After going through a great deal of hard work and struggle, my business was mismanaged by my employees, some people cheated me, and I made bad investments—everything just turned upside down for me.

I prayed and fasted, hoping for a change, but I didn't see any improvements. I continued to wear a smile on my face as usual, so nobody noticed that I was emotionally downtrodden. I was on the verge of giving up when everything miraculously turned around for good.

Throughout the ordeal, I didn't confide in anyone, but after things improved, I shared my experience with others. My then-boyfriend wasn't happy that I kept it from him. It's not that I'm proud, but I learned to be independent at an early age, and I'm not the type to beg people for money. It seems that God used that experience to make me realize that it is His grace that sustains me, not just my hard work.

PepeXKermit:
What was the man doing in his 20s. Please do not and stop encouraging rubbish..

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okoroemeka:
sometimes I wonder how some men can relax so much and reach such years with nothing,is it laziness,lack of seeing opportunities,lack of proactive thinking,procrastination ,or simply accepting mediocre living standards?before I was 25 yrs I already have a car,wife,two children and a small two bedroom bungalow,it is sad that not everyone can pull him or herself out of poverty and that reinforced my belief that success is tied to state of mind,there is a proverb in igboland that says,e ejigi mkpacha nsi egbe agba adaka ozo,which means you cannot use scrap leftover gunpowder to shot a gorilla.

Lol, you are judging a total stranger and comparing yourself to him. The fact that the guy in question has not achieved as much as you have achieved doesn't automatically imply that he is lazy. Mr. man, if you can't help others, let them be; don't contribute to their problem. Sometimes, words can be sharper than swords. Must you comment, he said his friend is on the verge of giving up, and you wrote this. Where is your conscience?

An income of 700k is only sufficient to sustain a moderate lifestyle not an expensive one. Monthly expenses such as savings for house rent, food, airtime, data subscription, DStv subscription, Netflix subscription, fuel, gas, prepaid meter, App Store subscription, beauty and skincare products (hair products, soap, cream, cosmetics and so on), clothing, toiletries, and other miscellaneous items would consume a significant portion of the income.

It is not wise to spend about 400k on just fast food.

It is not like I expect my guy to be a virgin but I still ask guys stylishly even as a lady.

Pkgplanet:
Remains 1

I choose Heaven and spouse. I can let go of children and $800 Billion because my spouse and I can still have children by adoptation. If it is God's will, there is still a chance for me to have a significant amount of wealth, perhaps $799 billion.

Heaven.