₦airaland Forum

@ thejohnny09

There's attention and attention. A woman usually tell when you're pretending to listen while wishing you were doing something else versus actively listening to her. Your time with her should be 100% committed, when you wanna go off with your PS2 let her know you'll be around but not chatting.

I don't know if she's the kind of person who thinks she needs to be around you 100% or talking to you all the time. Maybe you need to sit her down to identify the problem - communication is the key. Don't be surprised if the problem isn't to do with your PS2.

Good luck.

I always find it funny when people want to point out that other people commit crime etc - it's like a child blaming a sibling or an invisible friend for doing something. 

Even if other nationalities do these things what do I care?  Is their country's reputation anything like Nigeria's reputation abroad?

Siena said it best:

Siena:
And, why are Nigerians not always made welcome in most countries?
The answers are staring you in the face.

[quote author=Aloy~Emeka link=topic=358776.msg5013288#msg5013288 date=1259445301]He is absolutely tired of women. His Nintendo will forever love him unconditionally and change the shape of his virtual wife into whatever he wishes.[/quote]Does that mean when he buys an upgrade - say the Nintendo DSi - that would be considered bigamy? 
If he sells the DS does that constitute a divorce?
If it starts malfunctioning is that unreasonable behaviour which is grounds for divorce?

That marriage is a minefield!

I don't get this, people were getting it wrong at the time and still are

2007 was the commemoration of the Act Abolishing the Slave Trade. It was NOT commemorating the abolition of slavery. That anniversary falls in 30 years' time.

Read the original article here and here

ngozy:
Our lives depend on the going-on's in this room
this room can be big and sometimes small
in here good is planned and at the same time evil plotted
from this room kings are made
and from in here robbers, really armed ones are also fashioned
ive seen universities emerge from this room
even so for all sorts of ideas big or small
when this room is kept clean,
it is synonymous to life and
if dirty?so it is;the opposite of life and good
even God is interested in the state this room
and that's why he says:"choose life so u may live"
people im talking about the MIND, mans greatest and most reliable assest
the Greatest Board room i now
it is only what is conceived in the heart of man that can become a reality
and this only if u'll make an effort to draw it out
like the scripture puts it in the book of proverbs:
"counsel in the heart of man is like deep waters, "
and it will take only a man of understanding to draw it out.
so people, go ahead and draw out all dem great ideas uv got in your mind
though it be small, i know it'll blosssom some day,

Beautiful.

I think some of you miss the point, and the Ajebota comments are unhelpful.

Are you telling me there is no way to create a slaughtering system in this place that doesn't have some kind of order?
Are you telling me between the LG and the Governor and whoever else they can't set up a system that doesn't require refrigeration?
Do you know how many markets exist like this that don't have refrigeration but manage to operate with some degree of efficiency?

The only people who should be walking through are those involved in the slaughter and the clean-up process, not some young girl with a crate of soft drinks her head.  Those men should not have to work breathing in that black billowing smoke at the same time.  That to me is where the ignorance lies. 

People being poor is not an excuse for expecting low standards and it doesn't mean they're stupid.  I'm sure if you ask these people they could come up with some very good and simple ideas to get their working environment functioning better. 

But then who cares about standards or expectations, so long as we get the end result, right?

Fhemmmy:
You are the real bad boy

I'm not a boy but I trained my youngest brother in the ways well well.  With both of us, my parents never stood a chance 

Fhemmmy:
Kolomental . . . traumatized by a man smooching his own wife? u be bad pikin oh

If that was bad, you didn't see the things I did to break up those romantic moments in front of their children.

Looking too cuddly?  Cuddle me instead!  Looking too romantically into each others eyes?  I'll sit on the middle and look dreamily at them and do kissy faces.

Oh yes, it taught them to share their love elsewhere  

I be bad pikin, no be so? 

Easy peasy - they don't have much money, but they have a woman. 

What else is free to do that can occupy two people without any resources? 

Yes and no, depending on the parent.

I have a friend who is amazing with his children, nothing fazes him.  By all accounts my father was just as good with us when we were little.  On the other hand I know a single mother of two who makes it sound like she's taking on the world when her mother had nine of them and could handle them albeit strictly.

winnteam:
Personally speaking, most of todays parents have lost it in every way.
1. How can you explain how a parent who beats up a teacher for punishing his child?
2. Why won't a parent discipline a child at home when they fall out of line?
3. Why would a parent tolerate what his parents did not when he was a child?
4. What values are present day parents instilling in their children?
5. Why would parents not allow their children do basic house work? 
6. Why would a young mother of these days not educate their daughters on decent ways of dressing?
7. Why would parents allow their underaged children have relationships?

I can go on and on.

Should enlightenment degarde us morally?

Let us search our hearts and begin to do the right thing.

I don't know about you, but some of this stuff was going on when I was a child, perhaps the slightest difference being between the generations being that moral values have shifted significantly.   These same parents and children were a minority and a lot was done on the quiet, these children in turn become parents and we are now seeing these dysfunctional families in the public eye.

Each generation believes in making concessions for their children; we now have a generation of children who think the world owes them something and they don't need to take responsibility in return.  Despite what our parents taught us we are allowing external forces i.e. the media and their peer groups, to influence and bring up our children.

This isn't true for all, I know of many children who are level-headed (even if their parents aren't, lol).

At one point I think they conspired to send us to different places/relatives, just so they could have the house to themselves.  We came home one day and they were canoodling 

I'm still traumatised by it. . .

Have you had problems sleeping? Has it been happening for a long time or just started recently?

[quote author=mama-gee link=topic=356915.msg4989815#msg4989815 date=1259097638]Do you expect her to be at home for 9 months of her pregnancy?
At least she should go to church on sundays, even if it's one sunday a month.
But she says she's shy the whole congregation would stare at her. [/quote]Depends on the kind of church you go to.  I know people who would be queuing up to rub her belly and ask her all sorts of questions.

Actually, now I think about it, maybe it's because she'll get asked lots of questions she's not ready to answer that might also be putting her off.

The ring is POWERFUL, never underestimate The Power of the Ring 

@ alinko

Where do you get your dodgy 90% statistic for women from?  90% of women value security with a man more than anything else.  That may occasionally come in the form of money, but rarely in the majority of cases.

Some of the comments regarding virginity never fail to amaze me at how ignorant and fickle people can be. If other people's virginity is a problem, no need to respond to the thread to talk trash - easy peasy!

Is it so hard to answer a simple question, whether you agree with someone being a 25 year-old virgin or not?

Why knock it, the people had the best wedding they could afford. By comparison to others in their locale, it might be flash, who knows?

At least they got married.  Having said that, what's with the bridesmaid's and the "hats"? 

Trini girl is straining at semantics and playing around with definitions. The major religions (Christianity, Islam and Judaism) and others teach that sex before marriage of any kind is wrong.  It has been the same for generations and will not change because society's morals have.

BenSays:
The best way always has been and always will be Jesus, pray to Him and act on what you find He says to you. The more you pray the more your morals will align with His perfect morals, sins will feel wrong just like they should. God will also know if an apparent committed partner will stay so, this goes for people entering marriage as well.

The question is, does one have sex with them first to find out if an apparent partner (I like the way you put that) will stay so? 

More often than not we won't pray about it because we know very well what the response will be.  "There is a way that seems right to a man but the end leads to death."

I think you can make a comfortable living fish farming, but millionaire? Maybe if you own a fish farm the size of Wembley Stadium!

For any one considering fish farming be aware that it's a lot of hard hard work. If you don't get the right kind of fish, learn how to look after them properly, if you don't get the right person working for you or if plan on sitting back and expect things to happen without your input, your investment will be a waste of money.

Make sure you do your research very well before parting with your money.

These aren't choices, it's some kind of cruel condemnation!

Personally, I still prefer Opera as my first choice, and Firefox as my second. Google Chrome is ok but nothing fascinating - at least to me.

I prefer Opera because I can use the mouse gestures with pages, it's easy to find things, open pages etc. May not be as fast but I feel far safer with it than Google Chrome.

olanajim:
I am impressed too.

Any pros and cons?

Pros: You are legally married to your sweetheart 
Cons: The process is unnecessarily burdensome and expensive, especially the "washing".  So much washing. . . 

Please tell me I'm not the only one who didn't miss this:

mechangeid: I don't really care about what they did to me atleast am still alive but the problem now is my wife,she is threating to leave if i help them,there is WAR in my home at the moment,she wants me to choose her or my family.she is not herself again even the kids are asking what is wrong.Its possible to help them without telling her but i need to councel some of our fixed deposit so there is no way i can do it alone

Help your family if you can but don't get yourself into debt in the process.  I hope you're not doing this to "prove" yourself to them even if there is pressure on you to help.  If you think things with your wife are bad now, any bad financial decision could create further and greater problems for both of you.

OAM4J:
Good, at least Michellin89 has given us some clue to why those who are neither Christians nor Muslims still got married. I appreciate her honesty.

But for the majority who are Christians and Muslims, they got married because
1. God does not allow them to have sex outside marriage
2. of what friends and family think and say.

I have this strong feeling, that If today, God permits all married to divorce, and God declares sex outside marriage right, 99% of those married now will not marry again and more than 95% of the people will never marry.

Marriage pre-dates Christianity and Islam; you forget the ethics and mores of a community or society is a determining factor in people's attitude towards marriage.

Even if "God" permitted all married people to divorce and sex outside of marriage was the acceptable norm, be guaranteed people will still marry and people will still not sex outside of marriage.  There will ALWAYS be people who will go against the grain according to their own ethics and conscience, irregardless of a belief system.

@ Rogo

Fifteen thousand Naira sounds like an awful lot of money just for the church wedding.  Have you asked why or did you just accept what you were told?

On the internet

omega25red:
i think thats what i get from his story. Poster be more thoughtful and learn about your woman instead of throwing cash at her.

Thank you, I can't believe it's taken him 5 years to figure this out.  There's an obvious communication problem!

That EDF story old news, I know people in those parts who don't have a problem with their electricity since power was restored.

I think the REAL reason is that the poster hasn't paid his electricity bill.  No power no story 

ferdiii:
@ Modupsie, with these men turning to death squad for politicians, lives are lost and wars too kill them, I think God had that in mind but man has scattered it. So u can't say every woman has a man waiting to pound her for marriage.I see so many young and old ladies ready to marry but guys are only ready to mingle.Don't wann hear the 'M' word.

Ferdiii, it is so good to hear this coming from a man for a change!

@ londoner

From experience I can tell you that if you're quarrelling a lot you have to identify why that is.  Is it because of miscommunication, assumptions, or is one of you not listening to the other? 

Has he been supportive of you in the past?  If it's a case where he's having a hard time now, yes, you should be supportive, it may be his turn now and your turn at another time.  Has he moved back home and is he having a hard time re-adjusting or is it work/situation-related?

Trust plays a BIG part in long distance relationships.  You need to address your own trust issues, but if you feel something isn't right don't ignore it.  Wish you the best.

FL Gators:
Right. Obviously, you're in your own reality.

Go and meet them. Run after them. Narnia awaits you

FL Gator, I take issue with that statement.  Narnia is a lovely place 

Fhemmmy:
Nice . . . but what i wanna know is that, do we have to marry to have all we enjoy in marriage

Some people would probably say not really.  There are some people who've lived together for years as married without the cerificate.  Sometimes it's hard to tell unless you get to know someone why their situation is what it is.

For example, two couples I know:

(1) the man has repeatedly asked the woman to marry him but she's of the opinion that marriage doesn't mean anything if they have all they want now (their oldest is about 21).  Neither have ever been married but both grew up with single parents; the mother of the lady divorced and re-married, his father died when he was young.

(2) The lady was married young and divorced, has always wanted a destination wedding but it seems that as the years go by the dream wedding is further becoming history (their oldest is now 26!). Her parents divorced, his are still together.

For those who have lived together before marrying, it has a different perspective.  One friend said she couldn't explain it, it was just different, their relationship has gone to another level since marrying.  This was a couple who married after living together for about 4 years.