₦airaland Forum

corpersforum:
Cars are not built to Crawl, they are built to speed meeeeeen!!!!..

EVEN if you are as slow as a snail, if you would have an accident, you will.

God Protects

Your type of ignorant comments is what should be hidden. Yeah, God protects. The 95% of road casualties due to overspeeding also said same. But they are buried 6ft below.

@op

When you overspeed. You are not only endangering yourself. You are endangering other road users(Pedestrians, other motorists and women selling stuff by the road)

Takes a split second to find your self in a ditch. And you might just take the life of that young graduate, fresh out of school and hoping for a bright future. So when next you press that throttle hard. Remember the consequences.

Eketem:
Poster don't listen to myopic people declaring your husband impotent.

He told you pre wedding that he doesn't want kids.

The economy is bad the world is going crazy, his reasons are valid.

Ask those who are chanting impotence why they want kids they won't have any tangible reasons apart from quoting scriptures selfish reasons and things society has told them. Try to get a job and combine financial forces with him then bring up the issue again if he refuses then you can decide what you want.

Your husband is bold for daring to be different

Don't mind them. Always seeing things as black and white. Yeah, kids are lovely gifts but they are only fun when you have the right mental and financial capacity to train them.

Marriage is not a babymaking process . It is all about companionship. Kids are just a spice to it. She has a right to want one immediately but at least we need to be logical. The guy is also not doing enough to allay her fears. You just don't brush off the concerns of your partner with excuses of the country being hard.


@op. Not married and really not in the best position to advise but i believe you should communicate with him. He agreed to two years. He might be in debt or something and adding more responsibility would make things worse. That he doesn't even stay close and doesn't have time around the house is a pointer to the fact that things are not actually all that rosy. So talk to him. There's a limit to what people here can advise .

And how many people and successful entrepreneurs have done this and succeeded?


There's no rule about living life. Do what you think would make you successful and live healthily. Simple.

One of the basic things i would be terribly disappointed in the Buhari administration is this police brutality if they don't do anything about it. We voted you guys in to fight for the masses. And almost 2 in 3 Nigerians have had the bad rob of the Nigerian police.

Our police officers are pure thieves weilding guns. I have never seen any more worse than them.

I try to avoid dealing with them as much as possible.


Question is till when would such injustice prevail. To God if i were the president. I would disband the police force from top down and would give an ultimatum to the new ones that a single case of injustice against a Nigerian reported would lead to their dismissal immediately. They are all in on this. From the Area commander to the DPO. It is their word against yours.


Don't this people have conscience? How would you just round people up without allowing them state their case? Every single day a new case of police brutality springs up.

@tintingz

I don't need to further discuss with you. You have clearly shown your lack of comprehension skills. Confusing specific sample sizes and total population count. That was a red flag and i should have pulled out from there. But for charity, i thought i could actually enlighten another Nigerian but the typical aversion to quality education rears it ugly head again.

You have been shouting facts and assumptions. At this point i would have expected someone with their head well rigged in to have provided counter facts and statements if you do not agree with a statement but alas all we have seen is long diatribes without substance.

You would do well not to quote me anymore. Thank you.

Pidgin2: There are more males than female, a simple research will help solve this puzzle for you

Would you kindly reread what you just quoted?

Seems most here have comprehension issues.

There are more males than females. Agreed.

But how many males aged 18 to 25 are ready for marriage in comparison to their female peers.

How many males aged 18 to 25 are incarcerated in comparison with their female peers.

How many makes live up to the age of 25?

That's my question to the olodo up there. Who's been running in circles shouting assumptions.

Pidgin2:
"Ready for marriage at 16 in most cultures"? Post stats to support this or kindly hold your speech. This statement is false, prove me wrong

I hope you would carefully read this time around and not make inferences from them like you just wrongly alluded up there.


Here are links.
https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriageable_age#North_America


https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Age_of_marriage_in_the_United_States

www.girlsnotbrides.org/child-marriage/nigeria/

A whopping 17% of girls under 15 where married and 43% where married by age 18 in Nigeria. That's UNICEF data for 2016. How many guys were married or ready for marriage at those ages?


18 might seem the legal age of consent for marriage amongst most countries but fact is most cultures of the world would allow a lady to get married at the age of 16 if she has parental consent for such. I doubt any right thinking guy would attempt marriage at 16. I have never even heard of it before. This is apparently not a good thing for such a girl but i am stating facts and when such is involved , you don't colour it with emotions.

tintingz:
Your claims are still assumptions, in an engineering department there will be more males than female, in food and catering department there will be female than male, this things varies, gender imbalance occur.

Where I work is an electricity and engineering company so ofcos men are much than women, in banks women are much because of the customer care and cashiers.

You need to see the school registrar to conclude the gender population of the school.

Every male above 20 is legally in marriageable age, the ready claims does not hold water.

The authorized data from UN said men outnumber women in population, you should know census will be carried out in all field of area.

Assumptions? And how many 20 year old males are getting married?

Or the fact that females get much more matured early than their male peers is an assumption? And how does field of study relate to marriageable age? Maybe you need to scroll up and read my first comment slowly.

How did the UN come to the conclusions that there are more males than females? They counted every single male and female born at every single part of the world? Huh? Maybe i emphasize the fact that no one is disputing the fact that there are morre males than females. However , how many of those males 18 to 25 are factually ready for marriage incomarison to their female peers. Also note there is a "natural pressure" on ladies to marry early so as to avoid complications during child birth while the males don't have such conditions. Put all these into consideration and maybe do an overview.

You would do well to start a little reading on what we call statistical assumptions. Since your buzz word is "assumptions".

I gave you a simple task and even backed up things with an example of a simple random sample which in fact is a scientific and statistical data but you still seem to be lost.


I give up. This seems like rocket science after all.

Enjoy your day.

Respect for humans and people is so lost on this site and to these moderators.

Just imagine your sister was the one here. Someone lost her life and there's not a single fact that she was going for a party or whatever and you guys just run with the story continously. Just imagine it's your sister and the story was actually false and you slander her online like this. How would you feel? All in a bid to sell news and generate traffic we loose our morals and empathy as humans. A family is mourning and you do damn well to respect their privacy. Wish Nigeria had good privacyand libel laws . All these shitty bloggers would definitely not be all around trying to feed from people's misfortunes.

Seun teach your mods to learn some respect please.

tintingz:
This marriageable claims are just assumptions nothing to back it up, the world stats said men population are more than women, in some countries it varies.

It is commonsense. I don't need to elaborate and expantiate. You seem to not understand the difference between population count and a sample size under scrutiny.

Out of the number of males how many make it to 25? How many are languishing in prison cells? For every single female convict, there are 10 more male convicts. Data without basic understanding and application is useless.

I finished the uni in a class of about 150 grads and out of this about 60 are ladies. At least 35 of those ladies are married and on my fingers i can count the number of fellow male colleagues who are married; prolly 10 to 15 if i am being generous. Even before my final papers we had already attended the wedding of around 5 of those ladies.

Do a survey amongst people in your street and count the number of males and females age 18 to 25 who are ready for marriage. You would be hard done to find 2 males who are ready and i am sure 7 out of 10 females in such sample size would be ready. It is not rocket science.

tintingz:
You are minding them, even United Nations report stats also said men are more than women in the world.

You are muddling up everything. Yeah men maybe more than women but there are more women of marriageable age than men. An average female is ready for marriage as early as age 16 in most cultures while her male counterpart is just starting out life and may not be ready till he reaches the age of 28 or even early 30s. The society expects men to be providers of the family and i doubt you would have a 16 year old guy or even a 21 year old guy who's ready to shoulder the responsibility of catering for a family.


Meanwhile you have millions of ladies at that age already ready for marriage which akews the balance thus making it that there are much more available ladies for marriage than there are capable men willing to start a family.

Yeah. Robberies can happen to anyone but most Nigerians are so desensitized that they don't take a step back and observe their environment. People most times throw caution to the wind.

You see people randomly flagging down private cars, entering buses along the road when it is not a designated park.

Flagging down bikes coming from the opposite direction without taking cognisance of who the bike man is carrying at least allow them pass you first before calling them so you have an idea of what they are carrying.

Not knowing hotspots for such robberies and once chance (yaba, ketu, mile 2 and inner surulere are high risk areas anytime before 6am) and not using their inner eyes to sport a difference from what's normal.

Example of little things to take note of;

An over friendly conductor urging you to enter is a red flag.

Having someone wearing a mopol vest in front is not a guarantee. It's a camouflage to get you to trust the bus when the supposed officer is actually a fake one and just wearing a mopol shirt that can be printed out by just anyone.

Do not follow the nudge of other potential passengers to enter a bus you ain't comfortable with. Trust yourself alone. Most are in on the crime.

If you fall for them, do not argue or try to escape. Release all what you have and don't struggle with them. Your life is much more precious than anything they would take from you. You can always get anything stolen for you back in ten folds.

If you live far from work and have to leave home most times very early and arrive back late at night kindly please buy even if it is a small car If you can afford it especially for ladies. A car in lagos is a neccesity. Doesnt have to be fanciful. Just get something that works.The cost implications and security you would guarantee for yourself in the long run far outweighs the risk of jumping buses daily.

Nose rings or piercing is a big turn off.

As for not taking pictures or not allowing it during a weddimg procession.

Personally i believe that's a bit on the extreme side of things. I understand if you want something reserved and all those ish but like seriously. ..not a single image taken? Hmm.


Question is who would venerate a wedding pic or bow down to and ascribe to worship a wedding pic? Who?

You aren't hanging it around the house, printing it on clothes for prayers or the likes.

The hadith on images is even open to debate but It's not something i would want to even discuss as i am not really cast out for such discussion as of now.

Carrying a wrist watch is enough load let alone carrying something round my finger around.


Personally i am not a fan of symbolic things and would definitely not wear one.

bellong:
Really.. are you really serious?

I no wan laugh walahi.


Admin of whatsapp? Ok o. Maybe he should bring forth the offer letter he got from whatsapp and his job description.

I don't get what most people are posting on here and maybe someone has posted what i have to say here before. I actually can't say but the way most people put it across , seems like introversion is someone who doesn't love fun or likes to stay indoors or they are socially awkward.

Very very wrong. It's simple, we all have our ways of relieving stress. I would prefer to stay in a room with my phone alone without noise and sleep in between to relieve stress and in the end get happiness and joy from this simple action while to someone else that's brain tasking for them.

Their idea of relaxing is going out to loud places, shaking and greeting 10s and hundreds of people. Good for them as long as it is relaxes them. But for me the thought of greeting 10s of unknown people and trying to fit in to their personal space and trying to belong or form some kind of chemistry that is non existent is brain tasking to even cause me stress.

Am i socially awkward to want to avoid such situations? No. So maybe you guys take a chill pill and calm down on all these stereotypes and enjoy life to the fullest. If staying indoors and watching a movie makes you happy, then for goodness sake do it and stop whining.

Narcissists and Psychopaths Love to Stay Friends with Their Exes


https://broadly.vice.com/en_us/article/narcissists-and-psychopaths-love-to-stay-friends-with-their-exes


I didn't write that o. Na research talk am.

snapscore:
Honestly speaking, family and friends can also do this as well.



I agree with the bolded.



In an ideal world, when you do not marry, you have basically given up the right to have biological children. An ideal Muslim wouldn't be involved the whole baby mama and papa thing. Rather, as Muslims, we can always adopt (taking care of the child) or establishing mahram relationship through breastfeeding (getting a close relative to breastfeed the baby).



I got a little lost here.

I doubt you would ever have that family or friend who would want to constantly attend to your talks. They may frequent once in a while but just imagine how it feels staying in a house with no other human and having the tv as your only companion at night for decades. Give that person some few years and see them talking to themselves while walkimg down the street or doing some weird things.

As for the other point. We don't live in an ideal world. And if you do adopt kids, you may be doing the kid a big disservice as it's a fact that's well researched that kids need both parents around to have an all round mental and behavioural development. More reason social services depts are always more open to couples adopting than single people doind same.


Can we have another excuse?

If circumstances thrusts one in such path i.e death of spouse or something else, then it could be understanble but willfully choosing to abstain might be akin to masochsim in my own opinion. Those cold-long nights can get a lot lonely and depressing.

snapscore:
You are the second person to tell me this.



I knew you weren't criticizing but I thought you were trying to 'revive' the thread by opening it up for discussion which was the reason I responded.



Okay. I understand.

It happens. Sometimes the way we talk might be similar to that of another person.

snapscore:
I am not prepared to get married.

1)Marriage is a lot of responsibility and I am not ready for it.
- I am not ready to start thinking for two and caring for two. I barely even care for myself properly.
- I am also not ready to get emotionally attached: this itself is a responsibility of its own- to be open to idea that once you open your heart to someone and start to 'love' them, you also open your heart to hurt.
- Most of the time I am almost convinced it's better and easier to live my life as a single and focus on something else.

- Yeah studies is also one but I don't think it's a big one. I think being mentally prepared is more important.

2) There is the fear of uncertainty
- Will it really work out?
- Will I be a good mother and wife?
- Will I be happy? Happiness is one of my most important values
- What if we start fighting all the time?

I guess I feel this way because I haven't met the one that makes me think it's worth taking the risk and getting married.

Lastly, I honestly feel marriage is overhyped and society makes one feel that he/she has to be married to be complete. I think people should be more open to the idea that marriage isn't for everyone and not everyone will get married. At the end of the day wealth and children are only adornments of this world and only some will be adorned with it.

I think everyone passes through that stage where you feel it's a lot of burden and you are scared you are going to be personally responsible for another person and always put them into consideration while taking decisions and that you lose your freedom and that little privacy.

But with time you would realise that there's more to life than living single and it is much more interesting when you have someone you can share such pains and happiness with. It is a natural human instinct to want to share and no matter how distracted you are with work or education. You just want somewhere or someone you can just go to that's without judgment and is constantly there for you. That's what marriage gives.


As for the fear...it's normal but that fear shows you have a conscience. A conscience that you may not be good enough or fulfil your own responsibilities in a marriage. And that alone is enough. There is no one out there who has that perfect skill on marriage or someone who is sure that their marriage would come out perfectly and that fear is what makes us strive to be better people which is all that matters in a marriage.

Marriage is not overhyped. Maybe people who put it on social media and carry it around like it's all in all are the ones that make it seem overhyped. I for one believe it protects both parties. Sex is something natural and at one point or the other you would yarn for it. Just imagine the chaos we would have in the world when people don't have defined partners and it's a free for all. Or just imagine the lives of kids who would be brought into the world if nothing truly connects their parents. You can just take a look at the mess the baby mamas and papa facade we have now is causing and imagine if that was actually the standard practice. Not everyone would get married, that is for sure but those should be exceptions and not the norm.


All these are aside the religious injunctions which emphasizes marriage. You are an health practitioner, so i don't even need to talk about the health implications of such.

snapscore:
I don't know. If you mean contact17 then yeah I am the same person. If you means someone else, I guess we just share similar thoughts on things.


ok

More like deols or so...


Saw your responses. My initial post wasnt a criticism of your ideals. Just wanted you to talk more about them. They are personal opinions and i truly can't object to any of them.

As for the swearing. Language is subject to change ....wtf sounded very offensive like 20 years ago but now means almost the samething as "oh my God". That's just a sidenote jare. I am not an advocate for swear words.. you can't find me using them except i am trying to rile someone up.


Since you have a clear cut idea of what you want and how you want to go about it. What's holding you back from getting hitched? Studies or finances or what exactly?

If they consider greeting them in English disrespectful or speaking to them in English disrespectful, then we are going to have a problem because I do not speak my native language fluently.

Why don't you try to learn more? And basic greeting shouldn't be a problem if you at least speak it albeit not fluently. Seems like the least of things you can do to make them feel at home with you.

@busar.

Nothing o. I just dey hala you. Salam.

Why would you want to be indispensable at a job that's not your own?

I really don't get the idea behind such thoughts. If you are indispensable then you won't grow. It should be easy to replace or fill your role so you can concentrate or higher things instead of bugging yourself down with same thing for a lifetime. Do you know what it feels to hear that the chemistry teacher is the only one that knows how to turn on the switch and they have to scurry round to find you anytime there is an issue?

Be dispensable. Learn new things, teach others what you already know and pass those roles over to someone else. That's the way you grow. That is what gets people promoted to the height of a career. They pass on knowledge and acquire higher ones..Not hugging all the limelight and being Mrs most capable. You would just be stuck in the same place

snapscore:
I was going through the thread and I really learnt a lot from it!
So I guess I would add mine. The list is incomplete.
The most important characteristics I look for are righteousness and character, followed by family lineage, not sure if beauty or wealth would come next.
Now in terms of religion and character
I would like someone knowledgeable and practicing. If not knowledgeable enough but able to accept the truth when presented to him.

*Shouldn’t be ladies man. I cannot blame a man for being handsome but I can blame him for being flirty and keeping female companions. This is one of my biggest turn off.

*Honest

Respect*- Respectful and polite doesn’t just mean to greet people anyone. But someone with principles (like me), tolerates and able to relate with people in respectful manner. For example, I cannot stand someone who curses or abuses, someone who says every four letter swear word. I understand sometimes people need to take out their frustration but there are alternative like say flying potatoes or flip flops or whatever. I would not want my kids to pick up these habits. I have seen kids use curse words and I am left to wonder where they picked it from.

*Not be arrogant- I can’t stand it!
*Not stingy
*Family oriented- If or when I do have a family, I would like someone who understands that work isn’t everything. I would like someone who does not mind taking off to spend with family.
*Hardworking- Should be goal oriented- knowing what he wants in life and work towards it.
Shy- Shyness is a beautiful thing
Intelligent &Mature
Education level- University level... I dunno
Finance/employment/type of job – As long as it’s halal based
Social status- I don’t think I have a preference but as long as we can afford our needs and wants.

Family heritage/ nobility - This is the next thing I look for after religion and character. Some characteristics are passed on to children. What type of family are they? What are they known for? Are they understanding? Are they the type would get offended when I speak English or greet them in English? Are they the type to get upset at me when me and my husband have decided on a matter that they aren’t pleased with.

*Should not hit women or easily get angered.
*Shouldn’t be the type to hold grudges or keep malice
*Should believe in communication and opening up feelings. If I have asked you why you are upset twice and you just shu enu jo ...I probably won’t ask again.
*Understands that I do not believe it is an obligation to cook or clean. Not the type to be going out every weekend or inviting friends every weekend- realistically speaking some nurses have only a day off during the weekend. If I happen to be working in the hospital and hubby invites six of his friend over without informing me, he should know that I am under no obligation to start cooking a variety of dishes. I deserve my weekend as much as he does
*Understand that I do not cook amala, eba, ewedu and co. I may do it for him but I don't eat them.
*Jealousy is natural but being possessive is not
*Confident
Caring and sensitive
Preferably, likes the gym and believes in living a healthy lifestyle. I would love to workout with my husband and raise healthy kids.

Why do you sound like someone from Nairaland's past?

It's good you have these long lists.

However, you know why we most times have challenges in today's marriages? It is because we take offence at the slightest things that doesn't go with our rule book.

When we were courting he never had a used singlet on, never wore the same dress twice agreed his mum would never stay with us for a single day, I can't cook fresh meals, she has to always look se.xy, his breath was always lovely and so on but now the opposite is the case...These little things that doesn't tally with our ideals amounts to bigger things that shreds up the marriage in the end.


You don't want a family that you would greet in english and they would take offence? I know it's an example but what if they consider greeting them in English that disrespectful? And it's not like they are being stoic and archaic but they just feel that way? What would you do? Stick to your guns or call it quits?

Truth is compromise goes a long way. Yeah, there are certain things that are truly not acceptable like a man cheating and so on but I can assure you, he would "bleeping" (i used the f word) go against many of those things you listed up there unconsciously and you would definitely do things he considers unacceptable. Humans aren't robots and even machines do fail. For me not to annoy or piss you off sometimes would be boring as hell in a marriage.

Do you have an heart to close your eyes to such minor things and learn to just forgive every second and move on ?

Wait , did i just read gym? Chai. Daily living in Nigeria is enough, i don't know how those who are a bit overweight manage it. And you want to add to those rigours?

But in all, a girl can dream and imagine. Wish you get all those qualities


As for reviving the thread. It is all good but peeps say we talked too much without taking actual steps to achieve all those noble ideas. I can assure you that less than 10% of all those who made "mouth" on this thread few years back are married( yeah we know it's destiny and God's time) but nonetheless if you bring them back today, they still have lots of excuses and their ever changing lists of qualities to give e.g. Mr busar up there



Edited.

lartty:
My problem is that, it is hard for a muslim to get a psychologist or counsellor that won't introduce him/her to a pastor. i wish i can get someone i could trust.

First depression has no religion or race and anyone using your current predicament to try and lure you or "gain a soul" is utterly wicked and doesn't have your best interest at heart.

Yeah, sometimes we may need to pray to try and solve a problem but not on this pretext and not when the person is at their lowest ebb.

As for whatever you are going through. You can actually type it out here and I am sure most would like to help you. Sometimes what we need is just a bit of talk.If it is however a bit personal. You could send Sissie a pm. I guess she could find a way around finding you the right channels to open your heart.

LeView1:
It is that simple and insecure control freaks make it complicated by using their imagination to imagine the worse.

Lol! I'm allergic to childish and insecure men so chances are I wouldn't date you.

You make it simplistic.

I guess you are a bit naive and open which can be good but based on what he has listed here o this is much more than just a date with a friend. The lady's fears and request for permission subtly confirms that something is amiss except if requesting for permissions is a norm maybe in their relationship.(different atuff for different folks).

When he came to pick her up after work, she had premonition he was coming. That was actually a date but she never had course to seek permission from the guy because she felt it was just normal and nothing serious but the guy asking her for another extra date raised a suspicion or something she is not saying.

More reason she needs validation from her guy about going. She even went out of her way to mention "it is a no strings attached friendship " . That alone gave her away. Who asked her? Why mention such if her thougjts hadn't wandered off towards such?

No one wants the guy to be possesive or whatever. However, she's putting him in a tough position. Yeah he trusts her but does he trust the guy she's meeting with not to stir up something funny?

Best outcome is to just abstain. Let her decide whether she's going or not. She is an adult.

igwegeorgiano:
Fellow NLs how we dey. hope we all had a swell time at our respective places of work/bussinesses? so sorry to bother you with my relationship issues i just need advice that will calm down my nerves right now before i will rashly take decisions i may regret later

I just got a phone call from my babe asking for my permission to allow her hang out with another guy. she made me to understand that the said guy has been a very good friend back in their uni days but no string attached. furthermore, she said that the guy came to her office to take her home after the day's work.

Friends what do you think? am a jealous perso but not possessive. my babe and the guy have actually fixed their outing for sunday. am really feeling upset right now because am seeing the intruder as a threat to my relationship. pls i need your candid advice on how to handle this unfolding ugly scenerio. thanks

Why do ladies always do this?

Always seem like plausible deniability. Trying to make you give authorisation to something they know can be a bit discomforting. Maybe there are still trustworthy girls out there, but once a lady starts making such requests, there's more than meets the eye and when you consider the era where we are in where youths have loose values and morals. "Friends" of opposite sexes might mean different things and much more especially when those friendship are not clearly defined or are friendship that started because one of them tried to woo the other and due to time or circumstances got friendzoned.

Tell her she should do what she feels right. I would advise you to tell her she's an adult and should be able to make decisions based on what she feels is right and not to put you on the spot as regards things. No man would be comfortable having a non-relative opposite sex "friend" around their partner especially when this so called friend is not someone you have met, know and approve of.

She knows she's walking into unchartered territory but needs "your validation". This is one part of ladies i can never understand.

Feels like i was ranting ...whew..

Chai... i give up on the youths of nowadays. Just mere comprehension they don't have and instead of them to keep their ignorance to themselves. They go all out to show their stu.pidity to the world.

The most painful part is that the frontpage now is an Avenue for dimwits and half backed graduates to expouse their fake ideals and education and the resson is not far-fetched. When you have dum.b people as fp moderators, dum.b things happen. Apologies to the sensible ones.


If what was written looks like being mocked to you, kindly go back to your high school and ask for a refund.

Lifestone:
This is heart breaking. RIP
But so long people drive recklessly without caution needless death like this won't reduce. The FRSC who are to keep the road free of reckless driving are busy collecting bribe in the cities leaving most high ways unmanned.
We as a nation must enforce our laws, reckless drivers who causes the death of others should serve jail time to serve as deterrence to other. Civil suits should be filed by the family of the injured/ deceased against the estate of the negligent driver either dead or alive, when people begin to take responsibility for their deeds, then sanity will return to our roads.

Tell that to your friends and families.

Safety is a collective thing. When as a nation we see nothing wrong in someone driving to a beer palour drink and still enter that same car to drive home then we would continue to have such reckless driving.

Some people do not even know there's what we call speed limits , how to overtake on the highways and so on and even what simple turn signals mean. People buys cars worth millions but can't buy hands free call devices of N2000 so they won't have to be holding phones while driving or texting while driving.

Even common tyre pressure, some don't know the right pressure that their cars should have. These kind of things would continue to happen as long as we have bunch of ignorant and arrogant, schooled but illiterate and daft citizens.

Accidents can happen to anyone but being safety concious cuts the risks of the accident being fatal by 95%.

BreezyRita:
Haba nau! The woman should do the negotiating go you?

If she wanted the marriage, then she wouldn't agree to things that discomforts me. A discomfort to me, is a discomfort to her also.

They are her people and before they handed over the list to me, she must have seen it and vetted it.

BreezyRita:
Thank you but we moved on.
Haggling- proper or not?

I won't haggle. At least their daughter knows what i am worth. If they write things that are so exorbitant and she never tried to bring it down nor protest for them to cut it down then I would pay it and we would both "drink the garri" of it during the first few years of the marriage.

Why argue over such?

By the way, i don't support bride price and if there's a way to sideline it. I would glady do it. Would prefer a voluntary gift than some mandated lists.

BreezyRita:
So what do you suggest? Scrapping of bride price? Swidy, its tradition.

You see it that way and I see it as good things not coming easy

no wonder we are still stuck in the old age in Africa.

Culture is subject to change. Any aspects of culture that's an impediment to growth and well being of such people need to give way. It was culture to kill twins back then, I guess you would still continue with such vile acts because "that's the way it has always been ". It is also culture and was once mandatory for the brother to marry his late sibling's widow because women were "properties" which were acquired after paying the bride price; should we also continue such?


Bride price whatever should not be compulsory and not something any right thinking family should be asking for. A gift or token to the lady from the groom is lovely and highly enjoined but asking the groom to bring crazy amounts of items is literarily selling your daughter and is a culture that needs to be scrapped asap no arguments about that.

You don't want to get involved with someone who can't make decisions themselves or who has to consult their parents before making the slightest decision. They don't change and you would be worse off in the end if you marry them

All these red flags are shown during courtship but most choose to ignore them. Not only guys are tied to their mother's apron strings but some ladies too.

When your guy cannot draw a line between mother and fiancee then you would have problems of unnecessary interference in your married life.

We should not discard every story because of the bad eggs that have made things hard.


However we can sort this out easily. It is a portal and definitely they would allow payment using ATM cards.

Money doesn't have to necessarily go to the account of the user. One can always pay the fees directly just by getting his login details thereby cutting out abuse.


What the op needs to do is to prove beyond doubt that this is a case of lack of funds and not reckless living.



@op

cstr55:
It is madness though for the democratic party to fund abortions in God forsaken countries in the world, when American military vets are in the fuccking street and our infrastructure and Education need a massive overhaul.
Anybody with a brain will see that trump is right on the money here.
God bless America.

Lol..You guys are commical.

Same education secretary he appointed who is a champion of charter schools which aims to defund public schools?

Same Trump that dogded a draft and degraded the mother of dead soldier that died in active service serving his country?

At least be aware before you start shouting a mantra