₦airaland Forum

pretydiva:
Basketmouth is so dumb in his reply. D man didn't said he had no money,he was only asking on how to secure a visa.

He should learn to read n assimilate well b4 replying

OKorowanta:
Don't blame Basketmouth,
We took dem serious and attend dia shows in the first place.
Why won't he yarn labalaba?

cruzita:
op some marriages today break because the man exercises too much authority on his wife. he wants to control every aspect of her life forgetting she is his soulmate and not his servant .I witnessed a marriage where the man asked his wife not to visit her parents unless he says so but he visits his own every weekend.Is that right?some men can really be annoying

blessedqueen:
Praise the Lord! Yeye people. Thank you for taking the unserious elements out of the fold. God bless you.

MathsChic:
Sometimes I just hate being smart. Being smart, getting A's in school will make you top your class and later provide you with a decent to very lucrative job that's just going to assure your future. You won't be poor and you'll live a comfortable life. But sometimes, I just can't help but wonder at how boring and mundane everything eventually becomes.

On the other hand, not getting all the A's and not topping your class will throw you out there, challenge you to dream big and force you to come up with a living that could probably break bounds, making you into a household name. Linda Ikeji, Toke Makinwa, Folorunsho Alakija, Oprah, these are people who certainly didn't get the best grades in school or studied the best courses at university, yet they shape and influence the polity more than the best graduating student in Electrical Engineering from the set 1985 in Unilag would ever do. And who's that best graduating student anways? I bet no one knows today!

I so hate being smart! I wish I was a regular one that would have had to create something for herself.

Vabadonsblog:
Actress and Producer, Chika Ike stepped out for church today on this fashionable attire. So beautiful!!!


"Happy sunday swts!!!! #churchflow#rockingmyankara"

https://www.instagram.com/p/BAWxJE5hnCE/

mysyto:
Dear luqman , we are just getting into a

relationship so don't expect me to say "I love you"

because there is no love we just met and thought

we would make a suitable couples. Before we get

into conclusion I want you to know that I am from a

very strict family I don't know what will happen to

you or to me when they see us together. Also, I

don't want to date someone that I wouldn't marry so

lets take this chance to get to know each other

before marriage. I will be patient with you when it

comes to marriage I don't want to rush you

because I have goals too just like you do. I also

want you to know that we will have some good

times and bad times. There's no perfect

relationship. In our journey, u will not lay your hands

on me no matter what, I already got dark spots

from falls and burns. You should not worry about

me cheating I'll b loyal and faithful till our hair gets

grey so u just be careful cheating on me. I will not

take u back if you cheat. I will erase all memories

between you and i, you'll just become another

random person. I will do my best to make it work

between us and u do your parts too. Whatever

happens you gotta keep me updated, I am not just

any other girl I am your future wife and don't lie to

me I have a talent in telling If a person is lying or

not. I can make you feel like the luckiest guy in the

world but you better have some respect there's no

way I'm dating a guy that can't respect me and

people around him. You better treat me like a

diamond, I am indeed someone you would not

wanna lose and dont be so presumptuous about

your looks. Your not the only guy in the world with

good looks....,........pls help me out on this..


cc...lalasticala..........

Shortyy:
OK, I read something here yesterday about men and why they shouldn't care about virgins. As usual 95% of them men would rather marry a non virgin than marry an inexperienced naïve blaa blaa girl. Kai smh!
Now back to the matter. I wasn't impressed with that article at all. It was as if it was encouraging the girls to go on and loose themselves. I'm not saying she wasn't right in a way, but! A virgin girl reading that at that moment might say, "oh soot, what's the point if he's still gonna marry me after all?" But he might not. So please keep it. They'll tell you how important it is that you lose it, how you've become of age and shouldn't keep it anymore, how they'll know if you're compatible for them, and all kinds of BS, don't do it as long as you know yourself and you are clean, don't do it, if he loves you, he'll stay.
Remember ladies, a girl's virginity is her pride. I'm not talking bout the Bible here or what they tell you on Sunday school. I'm talking bout you as a girl. Your virginity is your pride, your dignity, it's part of your self respect. So keep it! Forget about those that have lost thiers for nothing, they wish they could turn back the hands of time.
That man who found out that his wife was a virgin on their wedding night, won't only love her, but also respect her for the rest of their lives. Girls, be wise.

gistmeloveblog:


See more Exclusive Photos of the couple @>> http://www.gistmelove..com/2016/01/toke-makinwa-returns-to-her-husband.html

Carnations:
This virginity thing. It seems a big issue for you. And it’s generating awkward contradictions in you. It’s the hidden reason you’re struggling with your emotions. You’re conflicted inside because you know you have no standing.

Okay, here’s the thing: In life, you must learn to use appropriate yardstick to judge and determine issues. You don’t use a ruler for example to measure the purity of water. That’s an inappropriate instrument though a measurement. Neither do you use a stethoscope to measure the pressure of a tyre. It’s a wrong pressure gauge. In the same manner, you can’t use dutifulness in church as parameter to determine the suitability of a conjugal prospect. It can serve as corroborative factor or even corroborant, but it cannot be the primary basis of consideration. A good church worker is not necessarily going to be a good wife, though the word “good” is common. Two separate issues. I mean, that she can sing down the heavens doesn’t mean she will make you a good wife. Vocal dexterity is not qualification for coupling. Choir is not a marriage context. If you base your marriage decision on her ability to sing, you’re clearly using a wrong means of measurement. A singing voice for example cannot help you determine if she’s clean or a relative of Unhygienix of Asterix fame. That’s how people arrive at wrong marital decisions. They use wrong parameters. And such a mistake can prove very costly to a man in particular.

Now let’s come to your issue. You want to marry a virgin. But there’s an inherent contradiction in your quest. You can’t test her virginity unless you sleep with her, in which case she’ll no longer be and you won’t marry a virgin. The truth is, all you have is her word. It’s what she says she is that she is at this stage of your relationship. You can’t even verify her word without compromising your faith. Now, here’s the irony of your quest for a virgin wife: You’re not a virgin yourself. At some point before you embraced your faith you engaged in sexual congresses. In other words, you have a past. In the same vein, she also has a past. But you’re willing to embrace your past but not hers.


As per your wife you want to be the man who “hit it first”, but tell me, the women you hit first who’ll marry those? In essence you can’t take what you dished out. The idea of someone being there before you consternates you. You can’t handle it, ironically. The reason she’s not giving you the confirmation you want on her virgin status is probably because she’s not. She likes you, wants you, but you’ve put impediment on progress: demanded for something she can’t amend retroactively. And so she can’t lie about her past, and she can’t tell you the truth either. Stalemate. You somehow think that her non-virginal status is indicative of a colourful and flavourful past. Perhaps. Same applies to you I guess. But you’ve not told me who she really is, just her sexual history. You didn’t indicate if she’s a loving and kindhearted woman. Whether or not she’s caring. You’ve not told me whether she’s trustworthy, whether she’s someone you can entrust your life to. And it’s not as if you’re accusing her of promiscuity. So the broken hymen just indicates she’s had sex in the past.

What I’m trying to say is, virginity is really not a test of whether someone will make you a good wife. You’re using a ruler to measure tyre pressure. Now if virginity is a psychological barrier for you, I’d say don’t go into marriage with her. You’ll keep judging her in the present because you can’t deal with her past. I’ll advice you keep your imagination in check. Stop imagining someone in the past on top of her. It’s unhelpful. But you have to reconcile yourself to the possibility you may not marry a virgin. Being real! Learn to be real in life. Your generation is very experimental with sex, and sexual imagery is so pervasive. Your music videos are highly suggestive. Think Anaconda. You’re being conditioned to accept raw sexuality. That conditioning generates results. Makes kids want to experiment with sex.

Be careful that your quest for virginity doesn’t make you miss a very wonderful and loving woman. Perhaps the first thing you ought to consider is what you want in a wife, what should you want in a wife. If this woman meets your criteria of a good wife to you I’d say go for her. You don’t want to regret not marrying her. If you marry an alternate, note that the virginity qualification will end on your wedding night. Then the marriage begins. You don’t want a wife who qualifies for only the wedding night do you? What happens in the days and years ahead? The faith you avow is very much anchored on Paul’s immortal words: If any man (or woman) be in Christ, he or she is a new creature. Old things have passed away. All things have become new. It’s either you’re going to accept God’s word concerning this lady or not. The decision is yours.

If you don’t however, that will be most unfortunate. I’m sure you’ve read about Pharisees. They were fond of using differing standards- one for themselves, another for others. Jesus had a running battle with those guys. You’re not a Pharisee are you? You can’t judge this lady by one set of standards and use another for yourself. It’s pharisaic.

http://manly.ng/nigerian-man-marry-a-virgin/


Follow Leke Alder on Twitter: @lekealde

Etumgbe:
Some men of God can be really boring with their preaching.

Princenady:
Which of these vehicles (1,2,3) have to go first and which one follows?

Let us hear from you whether you drive or not.

Oliviaarims:
This notion seems to be trending these days. But pls, before anyone goes about saying it's okay for a woman to make the first move, then perhaps they should also elaborate on what circumstances and the manner in which it should be done. So many girls are being misled already.. And making complete fools of themselves. I witnessed one such event yesterday and I just couldn't help laughing. This girl must have been feeling like a real 21st century chic when she even contemplated making the move. But with the way things turned out, I can bet on my two Di'ja-like-boobs that she's so never going to try that again. Heck, that dude was mean!


Back to my topic. I really don't get why a girl should be encouraged to make the first move. Look at it this way. Wooing a woman is sth that comes very natural to men. It's what they do. It's what they've always done right from time, what reason then has a guy not to make a move on the girl he likes? So this boy and girl know themselves, perhaps not as friends or anything serious, but each knows about the existence of the other. They are perhaps in the same location.. Work in the same place, live in the same neighborhood, attend the same Uni;So, surely they get to see each other from time to time. Why then should it be the girl making a move since she's interested in him? Hasn't he seen her before? If actually he had any interest whatsoever, he'd make the first move. It shouldn't be an issue at all. Girls are used to being wooed.

But he doesn't and some girl would think it's okay for her to make the first move. Trust me, chances are high that he won't take u seriously if ever u should go into a relationship. He'd simply see the whole thing as him doing u a favour by dating u and perhaps getting an advantage for himself if he succeeds in sleeping with you . I can't even imagine how u'd feel comfortable being in that relationship. He's most likely always going to be eager to show u the door, because after all, u made the first move on him, when he was just on his own doing his thing. It's just like reversing roles entirely. And IMO, it shows desperation.

And I also thought guys used to enjoy the chase. They want girls to be the ones chasing them now? Lol.

Pls, giving the green light and not playing too hard to get is enough. A man's supposed to know what to do when he sees the green light. If he doesn't, well, that's sad. It simply implies that there are so many things about women he isn't sensitive to.

Call me old-fashioned. I like being old-fashioned if this is what being old fashioned is all about.

misspicy:
some guys can ask destabilizing q
uestion ehn ...lol

dollyjoy:
so how come you are not married yet?

Simple!they are mostly interested in sex.

Oliviaarims:
I concur. Personally, I wouldn't like my man to be docile and excessively meek. I'd prefer sb who can challenge me without batting an eyelid and call me to order when I seem to be venturing too far.

I like a man who knows he's a man and acts as such.. Firm and authoritative.. But at the same time loving, understanding and respects his woman.

But there's a way these things are done, such that even in his calmness and refusal to trade words with her, he still reeks of strength and manliness.

Oliviaarims:
Of course, u are correct... And I believe everyone knows wisdom is needed in the application of any rules whatsoever, because different ppl, different situations call for different tactics.

But being a man requires that u be the rational on when she's irate and being unnecessarily sentimental.. Not shouting her down and replying her word for word. Trust me, a lot of tact and patience is needed in dealing with women.

emusmith:
Sub-Topic
10 Areas Guys And Ladies Should Work on In Their Relationship (Emusmith Vs Oliviarism)

---

Hi everyone. In few hours time, we will be entering into the New Year. Looking back, there were pleasant and unpleasant scenarios in our relationships.
Oliviaarims and I, Emusmith, in this Collabo-thread wants to pinpoint some areas in our relationships, both Guys and Ladies should pay closer attention to in this coming year 2016.

Without much ado, from the Guy's Angle I'll list 10 areas:

Guy's Angle:

---

1. Guys, devote more time to understanding your lady.

Different strokes for different chicks. She needs you to understand what she isn't saying. If you love her, you will won't fail her.


2. Don't take her love for granted
If you think you can now misbehave just because you've gotten her to fall in love with you; that's childish and immature, with all due respect. Instead, love her and say it often. That fertilizes relationships.

3. Be open to your girl.

Let her trust you. Lying tells her you ain't ready to trust her. Start from the small things to the big ones.

4. Don't be a player who sleeps around: but one that takes responsibility

Don't be a "player" who sleeps around. Responsibility is one thing you can't dodge if you wanna tread this path.

5. Arguing with her is an error.

Ignore her rash words. Ladies can talk. Two wrongs can't make a right. Be the man. Be the bigger person.

6. Enticing her with money and not being able to maintain that is foolishness

I would suggest you be plain and not exaggerate. Let her know your worth when you notice her commitment to the relationship.

7. Surprises can be wrongly-timed

She likes surprises but ensure it's at the right time. Don't take her to a place without pre-informing her of "her roles". That's will be an embarrassment.


8. Spend on her

Have you heard? You can give without loving but you can't love without giving. If you love her, you won't have to let her ask everything. If you're not giving her, you're giving someone else.

9. Effective Communication

Talk to her before making major/minor decisions. It tells her you care. Sometimes say, "I'm telling you firsthand, haven't told anyone else." She becomes you confidante. Your shelter, so to speak.


10. Learn not to remind her of her past when there is a quarrel

This is so unfair. Nothing hurts as much as this. Let her know that you love her despite her past life. Please do.

Thank you. #Hands the mic over to Olivia#



Olivia: Yes, nice points.
Relationships are a vital part of human existence, man necessarily being a social animal.
It's however a bit unfortunate that some people just don't seem to get it right. They go into countless relationships, which almost never lasts longer than the flicker of a candle light before it dies off.

From the Girl's Angle.

---

1. Be Indispensable:

Don't make yourself unnecessarily scarce, because soon enough, he'll fill up the role you were supposed to be playing. That holds him down.

2. Be Polite.

Some girls are just naturally rude and uncourteous in their manner of talking. Know how to make your requests, without making them sound like commands.

3. Be Calm

Listen. When there's an argument between u two and he's saying something, that shouldn't be the time for u to be struggling to be heard too. Remain calm and allow him finish talking before u say your piece.

4. Apologize.

When u find out that you're at fault, be quick to apologise and do it with all sincerity.

5. Make an effort to be truthful.

The more lies u tell, the less likely he'll trust u. But when u make it a point of duty to tell the truth always, he'd always give u the benefit of doubt whenever something fishy comes up.

6. Make him your buddy.

Make your significant other your realest buddy. Begin to see him as a friend. Tell him everything that can be told, even if it seems irrelevant. It would make for better understanding, closer bond,things to always talk about and fun in your relationship.

7. Don't flaunt your toasters in his face.

He already knows that you're bound to have a couple of guys wooing u. You could even discuss some of them with him and laugh together over funny pick up lines. But know the difference between telling him about your toasters for the sake of fun and flaunting it in his face to make him feel jealous and insecure.

8. Watch his ego in public.

When he's in public with you or in a gathering of friends, be careful what u say or do. It would be really embarrassing if you ignore him and perhaps turn your attention elsewhere. Let him have your full attention always. Try to take his side and defend him in an argument. 

9. Pay Close attention to the things he always wants you to do and those he doesn't want.

Being in a relationship is very much about compromise. Definitely, there would be certain things you do which pisses him off and which he's made known to you. Work on avoiding doing these things and instead doing the things he likes.

10. Lastly, quit the "forming."

Like seriously, we girls like to form a lot. I agree it's necessary in certain occasions, but there's really no need doing that with your significant other. Let him know that you're his "personal person".. No styling, no fronting. Feel free to fart in his presence (but please, not after eating beans and egg). Eat eba with him. Get into a bus with him if he can't afford a cab at that point in time.. Go to the market with him to buy foodstuffs. Buy ur ice-fish freely. U can't cook with chicken and beef all the time.

Above all, try to be original and have the mindset of making your relationship work. The mind really, is the starting point.

Emusmith: Well said Oliviaarims, the mind is the starting point. Love starts from the mind and ends through our actions. In this year, 2016, let's do all we can to making sure our relationships stay stronger, heading towards marriage.

Happy New Year in advance!

YourMain:
Virginity is so overrated it's actually ridiculous.

menesheh:
If anybody ever say that the old testament is meant for the jews, and that most, instead of all the old testament practices are not viable today have these questions to answer

1. Why did jesus said that he came to fulfill the old testament laws instead of saying he came to amend or abolish such laws.

2. Does that means that god is inconsistent and fallible by issuing out laws initially and amending it later via a presumed son.

3. Why did pastors and priests Pick and choose verses in the old testament that they need each time especially the tithe part and criticizes others practices not compatible with the new testament gospel.

4. Why not choke out the old testament entirely out of the Christian holy book and leave them to the sole owners, the jews, instead of confusing yourselves with both.

5. Which criteria do you actually apply to know the part that are still relevant and the one that are not since the bible didn't compile list of leftie ones.

6. Why the fucck must you even care what the Bible gat to offer since people don't remember those bible tenets whenever they want to do their thing, and also since Nigeria Constitution don't punish you for doing those things. Infact laws not adhere to and still no punishment afterwards are irrelevant and have zero bearing on our day to day life endeavors.


So i urge everyone to do his/her thing and forget laws made by ancient and naive medieval men to control its population, of which, it served as a constitution to them then. They lacked objectivity when compiling those laws of which they have no good and valid reasons and justifications why you shouldn't do those things.

Toks2008:
A MAN OR WOMAN CAN NOT BE JUST FRIENDS WITH THE OPPOSITE SEX

It’s no secret: guys and girls being "just friends" is a concept held by only the dreamers. Any lady who believes that she can be just a friend with a guy other than co-worker, co-student, or just on a platonic hi-hi level is in-fact the most myopic lady to walk on this planet

A guy’s friends consist of, well, only guys. The only reason a guy would go close to a girl would be to date or bed her. No guy is going to waste his time just being a friend with a girl because it’s not like she is a sports freak or a trans-gendered.

Guys have enough guy friends and won’t waste their time listening to ladies talk from a girl just to be their friend. Plain and simple he wants to bed you except of course you don't mind or he has not made it obvious yet.

Guys being friends with girls is a farce: either he wants to sleep with her, or she still believes in unicorns, because a guy cannot genuinely be friends with a girl and its either the lady secretly desires him or vis avis even while one of the two are ignorant of this.

In-fact i always tell a guy or lady to be more at alert when your bae says this about another opposite sex.."we are just friends,we enjoy each other's company,we are just fond of each other" because once you start hearing this from your bae,you should run because fondness is stronger than the feeling of love and what your bae will not dicsuss with you will be discussed freely with that person so of what use is the affair you are having?

I know some people will say not in all cases and i quite agree but there is a simple test to know if there is no hidden notion or surpressed desire so please as a lady just prove me wrong? give that just friend of yours a kiss and watch him stop you. After-all you guys ought to be just friends.

And for the married man, snap out of your delusion and tell yourself hard fact...YOU ARE OLOJU KOKORO...Let your wife be your only friend,best friend and close friend and same for the lady.

Keeping "friends" of the opposite sex while married or committed to someone is an emotional affair and its even worse than actual physical affair.

Just trying to make common sense.

funkyibodude:
A female friend of mine brought up an issue that have been bothering her so much she said that she needs an urgent advice on what to do. Here's her story
She met a guy last year in a friend's get together party and they both fell for each other. According to her story the guy works with an insurance company in Lagos and my friend was about to go for her NYSC when they both met. So because of the heated romance between them, she decided to work her NYSC posting to Lagos state. During her service year the guy proposed to her and she accepted. So they both went for family introduction. Few months after her introduction, her father called her and told her that she should come home that there's something urgent he wants to tell her. When she traveled back home, her dad told her that the have done some investigation into the guy's Family and the discovered that the guy is an OSU ( meaning outcast in Igbo land) and their village still practice the osu caste system. So the implication there is the both can't get married. And if she insist in getting married to him that her family will not be part of it, literally she's on her own with the guy, she's so heart broken now because she loves her family and she told me she can't imagine her world without him. And more so she's few weeks pregnant for him and the have started making plans for their wedding. How can she break this news to her fiancee?!!.. She told me she rather dies than not marry him.



Please I would appreciate matured advice only because this is really a sensitive issue that involves tradition and beliefs, no attacking of any personality or ethnic group. it can happen to anyone out there. Thanks

mudility:
Hey pals, if you have read my previous post https://www.nairaland.com/2738913/love-employee you will remember i was crushing on one of my female worker.

After i hastily made my intentions known to her, I was given those kind of funny attitude ladies display when not interested.

On a one on one discussion, she said she will not date me for two reasons. 1. because i am her boss and 2. because she has a boyfriend.

Okay, i totally respect her decision but i realized her attitude changed. She sometimes arrives late to work, flirt with my costumers to make me jealous. The final straw that broke the camel back is when i was scolding my other worker for her mistakes and complains am getting from my customers about her.

What i heard was this my employee i had crush on saying to me with boldness that i dont have to talk to her that way. I was shocked to my bone marrow that i ordered her to keep quit and leave my presence.

After i got home, i could not stop thinking about her rude bahaviour. I almost payed her off today but the sympathetic me decide to keep her till month end.

Pls friends , what do u think about my intended plan?

captmatts:
My girlfriend asked me why some men
prefer prostitutes to homely girls. after a
brain cracking session i was able to give
her five reasons why i think some men
prefer the women of low virtue. she
couldn’t help it as she laughed her guts
out. I felt i should share these reasons
here.
Before i do that, let me first of all let you
know this shocking truth;
80% of women are prostitute. It only
depends if they are WILD protitutes or
DOMESTIC prostitutes. The wild ones are
the ones that stands in the hotels for
commercial s*x trade while the domestic
ones are the so-called girlfriends we
keep at home with the false impression
that we have a decent clean babe all to
ourselves, but unfortunately when we
are away they sneak out to have s*x with
other guys and sugar daddies, now tell
me how are they different from the
roadside prostitute. My brothers, it is the
same thing o. So whether you admit it or
not if your wife sleeps around with Chief
when you are not in town, then you have
a domestic prostitute in your house. So
don’t judge other men who sleep with
the wild prostitutes in hotels becos you
are in their shoes too.
now the 5 reasons some men refer
prostitutes are;

1. A prostitute does not expect you to
remember her birthday, not to talk of
buying her gifts. You don’t also have to
take care of her responsibilities like
buying her body cream, paying for her
hair do, etc. Yet you still enjoy maximum
s*x for a little fee which cannot be
compared to the expenses we spend on
our so-called clean babes. A friend of
mine said his girlfriend won’t let him
touch her or even talk to her because he
didn’t give her a particular amount of
money she requested. If this young man
must give her that money before he
would touch her then what is the
difference between her and the prostitute
out there?

2. You don’t need to remember the safe
period of prostitutes because non of
them would come back telling you they
are pregnant.

3. Prostitutes won’t compel you to get
married to them as the last thing on their
mind is marriage.

4. Believe it or not, prostitutes are more
disease free than the so-called clean
babes. This is becos every man thinks her
job is risky so there is need to protect
himself with a condom and at the end
100 men may sleep with her but with a
condom but with the so-called decent
clean and homely babes, Emeka thinks
she is decent so he doesn’t need a
condom, tomorrow Kalu will think the
same and do it with her again without
using a condom and Alhaji will also think
she is decent and safe so he too goes
without a condom and at the end she has
100 men who have slept with her without
condom yet she still parades herslef as
the homely, decent, clean, mummy’s pet
babe, and the cycle continues. What a
shame!

5. A prostitute does not expect you to
satisfy them, they would do anything to
satisfy you and make you come for them
again unlike the clean homely babes who
expect you to take them to cloud nine
while they only lie on their backs and
spread their legs like frozen chicken.
Now, with the afore-mentioned reason,
why won’t men go for prostitutes, tell
me!

NOTE: I have never slept with a
prostitute (i mean WILD prostitute)
before, believe it or not, neither do i
encouraged the act of prostitution, i just
felt i should look at the issues from the
perspective of men who are into the act.

Fynestboi: