₦airaland Forum

Vyvyanvyvy:
Yes I got married 3 years ago and I had 2 children from previous relationship , one with my husband and I’m pregnant with another

I can just imagine what that boy will be thinking and going through at the moment psychologically

... he might be thinking that his mother is alive yet he was living as if she was dead... She prefer the other siblings and no one loves him
--- that might even be the reason why he was acting out the way he was doing.
---Try and sit your husband down and explain things to him in a cordial and rational way. if not, you gonna have a 'damaged Adult Young Man" in future with excess baggage.. Who might become a threat to the society. This is the right time to shape him.. he might be the pillar of your household some day.. tell your man not to right him off.. It is still early..

If your man was being unreasonable, then swallow your pride and send him to his own biological dad... Make out time and visit him every fortnight.. It's better instead of him being homeless or a street kid

Your siblings that are your relatives doesn't want the boy but you want your husband that is not your relative to accept the boy
You should learn to attend to your responsibilities and mistakes. Don't drag your mistakes to that innocent man. He has done more than enough for you.

Marrying a Nigerian girl with two children(not even one) is not what every man can do. That man deserves peace and respect from you.



Haba!! U are acting as if he was doing her a favor by marrying her.. That mentality is so rustic in my opinion

I don't really understand this story.. Ok let me get the picture correct

------You got married 3 year ago right?
---- You got 2 kids from your previous marriage/ Relationship; one is living with U while the other was living with your relatives.

---- You don't have any kid for your present husband right?

----So which Kids was he afraid of your son corrupting or According to you "damaging" ?

Just want to know why she was passing the night at your home..

Is your wife nursing a baby?
Is she widowed?
Is your wife the only child?

Just maybe she felt that you won't mind her passing the night at your place due to the way you portrayed and presented yourself (perfect son-in-law)
Not knowing that you were boiling right inside.. which reminds me of my favorite quote "There's no art to find the mind's construction in the face."' MACBETH

Usually, I don't like stories without paragraph.. However, I managed to read this one... and will take paracetamol for my effort...


I have one question. Why was your VISA not canceled when you dropped out of college? Just asking because every good institution will alert the Immigration authority.. when the funding was not coming

Hmmmm!!!!! Just wondering aloud.. do they still call individual/ people bastard(s) in this day and age? I thought it's called 'love child' Besides bastard is a mean word..

I simply have issues with your definition of your family OP. You don't have a broken home man. just maybe it could be more of a Dysfunctional Family.
When you see and hear someone from a broken home and they explained it to you especially what they go through from stepmother, stepfather, step here and step there you will simply change that definition of yours.

In my opinion, Marriage is a beautiful thing for those who found and compliment themselves. The fact that many have no business being in one does not mean many were not enjoying it.. In life, one has to keep an open mind who knows when the right person might show up...

Do not let the word 'marriage' to stress or scare you. It's just an idea of being with someone that u like and can trust. who can tolerate you and whom u can tolerate. just the way u have good news and u wanna share it with your best buddies.. that's just it. U share your pain with the person too..

If one was married and cannot share one's joy or pain with the spouse then, I don't know what that is. when it's 4 or 5 PM and a married man/ woman hesitates to go home, wherever he/she was @ that moment feels like heaven, then it's time to re-evaluate why the couple were punishing themselves in the name of marriage.

Macbeth

In my opinion, there are things that were better taken to the grave if you know it will hurt the other person.

there are others that you really have to bring out in the open... Eg, I heard of a man who does not want children, he performed surgery ... he got married without telling the wife what he has done... two years into the marriage, the wife started running from pillar to post from doctor A to doctor B.. eventually he came out clean to the wife.. she divorced him... on ground of deception and withholding of information.

Your baby should be running by now with other toddlers... Infact. try and enroll her @ the nearest nursery school.. By the time she clocks 1year, she will be ready to take Common Entrance Examination.

portplus:
wetin na?
u know the guy before.... Im bin offend u?

He's from romance section. that's their normal Behaviour

Five more straight win, we'll lift the cup without finishing the season.

You've made us proud guys

U were 8 month pregnant and your mother inlaw wants you to cook and clean 24/7....while she stays and do nothing. Your husband beats u when u were expecting any moment
Your story is like those badly written Indian soap opera..

Incase it's a real live story, then think of relocation after giving birth. I know that every woman got expectations on how she wants her home to be like when she gets married. Some were met, some weren't. Some use their hands and brains to create those expectations.


See if u can change things a little for yourself. Starting with family planning, besides toxic environment is not good for kids.. get a job if u weren't working.. so u can have a say /empower yourself.

Foodqueen:
What's Tinder?

dating site/services

You can always humour him that u have seen that he has joined Tinder and that u want to join too... that he should teach you what to do and how to subscribe.. That u are willing to start his tutorial immediately

ComeOOO...So u created this thread just because u can’t talk to your little nephew right?
Is it excessively difficult/ hard to tell him that you saw his drawing… that he is talented… while at the praises, u ask who the person is/was? Is that too hard?

C is for Cat
F is for Fish

CATFISH

Loooooooogstory:
I must say I am seriously concerned about advice most people profere when it comes to marriages that seems to be going through trials and tribulations.

Most comment will be quick to suggest a woman leave a marriage without considering the influence it has on the kids (both in academics and societal relationship) when they grow up.

But when it's a man's case, these people don't suggest the man leave the marriage or Union. But the thing is, Nairaland is supposed to be a problem solving platform and not a problem creating arena.

Are u serious or just saying the opposite?

Sapphire11:
I have friends in lagos that can connect me with potential customers, not everyone is willing to send their measurements to a new tailor, they would rather sew with someone close by

Hmmm!!! U might be surprised those friends that you think you've got there might not give you a second glance when you get there asking for help.


I might be wrong though but if I were to be in your shoes I won't bank on anyone that lives in Lagos. Most of them are unreliable... A friend that u know, once he/she sets his foot in Lagos, the change kicks in..

I will suggest that you search for a place that will employ u first, Find out what the fashion industry feels like in that city, stay like 2 yrs getting used to the city and how your employer was making it before setting up your own.. with that u can easily know what you did wrong while in your home town and correct it when you starts your own.

I think I have watched a Nollywood movies like this before in the late '90s. StephNora Okere and Charles Okeafor or Saint Obi. I can't remember which of them acted your boyfriend part.

It was just like your situation and the actor ran away to Lagos or UK I can't remember which, years later he Came back as a big boy. Wanted his son back but the lady wanted revenge.. She hurts the actor and the actor found himself in the hospital. Instead of being happy for what she did, she became sad, The thin lines between love and hate overlapped and they got married.

So OP, I think u have an unresolved issues with this guy. Please have a closure so that you can move on..Because if indeed u have moved on, U won't think of hurting him.. Just iron things out in a matured way... Asking people to tell you how to hurt the father of your child no matter how irresponsible he is , is also an irresponsible statement on your part. If u don't want him, make it clear to him that you were breathing the same air as him in the same space because of your son..

Though, I think it will be like that movie. You were simply blinded with anger at the moment. If he gets hurt, maybe you won't be saying all these because I have a feeling u still have a special place for him in your heart. (I know u will deny it now. But time shall tell )

UjuJoan2:
Ndi Igbo si na agwo cha godu onye ara, adighi agwota ya ntamu.

You are reminding me of Nollywood of the late '90s.. Those that plays the part of elders says things like this alot